


The Mistress

by NaughtyNeganJDM



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, BDSM, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Negan (Walking Dead) Swears, Sexual Content, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2018-07-29
Packaged: 2018-09-18 03:48:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 33
Words: 208,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9366677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NaughtyNeganJDM/pseuds/NaughtyNeganJDM
Summary: Negan brings the reader (a member of Alexandria) to The Sanctuary hoping to make her one of his wives. The reader is absolutely against being one of his wives, but that doesn't stop Negan from trying. At first the reader turns away Negan's advances, but eventually can no longer turn Negan away.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This was a request a friend of mine made on tumblr for me to do. This is one of my first writings, so go easy on me :P This first chapter is more of just an introduction. There is no smut in this first chapter. Just very excessive swearing.

Your body was shaking. You weren’t sure if it was from fear or if it was the cool dampness of the dark room surrounding you. All you could think about was what just happened a few hours ago. There were four of you that Rick had sent out to scavenge for Alexandria and find supplies.

There was a dripping happening behind you from the room you were locked in. Your hands were tied behind your back tightly and a gag was placed over your mouth to keep you quiet. The only light filling the room was filtering out from beneath the door, but it wasn’t nearly enough for you to try and move around to find a way out.

You and the rest of your group had been sent out a few weeks ago to try and find supplies. When your group tried returning, you were cornered by a group of bikers that tried to attack you. One of the members of you group had killed a few of the men, but then the four of you were captured. The four of you were overpowered by the group of men. What happened to one of the men in your group was absolutely atrocious. You still had the visions of the tall, lanky man that had beaten him in the head over and over again with that barbwire wrapped baseball bat. Your group had done nothing, but defend themselves. What happened to the rest of your group, you were still unaware of. They had captured you after the man with the bat had ordered the crew to do so.

The sound of the door opening was heard and soon after your eyes were flooded over with the light from beyond the dark room you had been locked in. Wincing, you could feel the heavy force of someone grabbing you by the arm and pulling you to your feet. A whimper escaped your throat as the man shoved you past the door and out into what looked like a factory. Stumbling to your feet, you felt weak. Not only had you been up for days from the scavenging, but you hadn’t been able to rest in that awful room after the attack.

“Move,” the man behind you order shoving you once more causing you to slam into the cold wall beside you. You closed your eyes tightly and felt him pushing you forward again. If they were going to kill you, you just wished that they would get it over with. It wasn’t that you were afraid of death; it was the fear of how it was going to come to you. “I said move!”

Stumbling forward again, you felt his shove cause your body to lunge forward a bit until he stopped at a door down the hallway. Forcefully grabbing a hold of your arm, he motioned you to wait while he opened the door.

When the door opened you could see the man that had attacked the member of your group sitting on a leather couch. His arms were pressed back against the black, leather couch. His legs were propped up on a coffee table and the baseball bat from earlier was lying in his lap. The bat was already clean, but he still had blood spattered over his clothing. That sick bastard. He took the time to clean the bat, but was comfortable enough to be lounging with the blood of the man that he killed on him.

Taking a look around the room, it was like they had made a room in the factory a small apartment room. There was a sitting area with the leather couch and the coffee table. A very small dining room area with a table with two chairs and in the corner was a single bed. It certainly didn’t look amazing, but after the areas that you had been stuck in before Alexandria, you wouldn’t really complain about it.  

“Get on your knees,” the man that had pulled you out of the room ordered, but you fought back. You weren’t about to be slaughtered. Not like what you had just seen earlier. No matter how hard you tried, it wasn’t going to get you out of the situation you were in. A cry escaped your lips as the man behind you kicked at the back of your legs getting them to give out and make you fall to your knees on the hard ground.

“Enough Simon,” the man with the bat laughed from the couch. That sick bastard. He found amusement in all of this. He made a tisking sound as he stood up from the couch and moved over toward them. His bat hanging at the side of his body. “Well fuck me; we’ve got a fucking feisty one here don’t we?”

“A bit of fire in this one,” Simon snarled from behind you, pushing into your back with his palm. The man with the bat pushed Simon aside and held his hand up to stop Simon from putting pressure on you. “What do you want me to do with her Negan?”

Negan. That was his name. Now you had a name to the face. Although, bastard worked fine as it was already.

Another wince escaped your lips as Simon grabbed a tight hold of your arm again, pulling you up straighter to get you up on your knees further.

“I fucking said enough Simon. Shit. She’s going to feel like I don’t have any fucking manners in this place,” Negan snarled pushing Simon back a bit before kneeling before you on the ground. He was balancing his weight on the bat as he stared out at you. Negan reached out with his leather clad fingertips to grab a tight hold of your jaw making a grunt escape your lips when you felt the force of him over you. “Well God fucking damn. I’ve already fucked up a really special fucking moment here haven’t I? Shit. Well, let’s try this one again…”

Negan’s fingers reached for the gag that they had around your mouth trying to pull it away before you let out an angered sound. He grabbed a hold of your jaw again, this time with a bit of anger behind his eyes when it seemed like you were attempting to bite him.

“Shit. I’m trying to be a fucking gentleman here and you go do that shit. If you wanna be a bitch, then I’m gonna fucking gag you again and screw this whole shit all together. I’m trying to be nice so unless you want to see your ass get put back in the awful fucking room, I suggest you keep that pretty little mouth of yours closed while I talk to you. Unless of course I ask you a question. Then you can open that pretty little mouth of yours all you want.”

Your body was tense. Your mind going through a whirlwind of possibilities as Negan stood up and pointed toward the door suggesting that Simon leave the two of you alone.

“Not sure that’s the best of ideas Negan, I mean…she’s going to be enraged,” Simon’s voice spoke behind her and Negan pointed toward the door again.

“Don’t make me fucking ask you again. Your bitch ass does what I fucking tell you,” Negan demanded, his voice yelling making you slam your eyes shut. The last time you heard him yelling, he was taking a bat to the member of your group. When Simon stepped out and closed the door behind him Negan smiled and sat on the edge of the couch again. “Now here is what’s going to happen. I’m going to ask you questions. You’re going to answer the shit that I ask you and we’re going to make it nice and simple.”

“You’re a monster,” your voice muttered and you could hear his laugh filling the room. He found this whole thing funny and the idea of that made chills run over your body. Goosebumps were already over your skin. If someone could find murdering someone funny, then you could only imagine what he had planned for you.

“We’ll see if you get to know what a fucking monster I can be,” his voice muttered from across the room as your raised your head to meet his eyes in a glance.

In the past, this was definitely a man you would have found charming before the zombie outbreak. He was a good looking man. If you would have seen him on the street, you would have definitely looked twice. His dark hair was slicked back and he had dimples for days when he smiled. While he certainly looked charming with that smile and that salt and pepper colored facial hair, it was clear from what you had learned that he was wretched.

“Now, to get back to the shit at hand…” Negan tapped the bat against the coffee table. Each time it connected with the table you jumped. It was an involuntary motion. You couldn’t help yourself from being scared. You told yourself that you weren’t afraid of dying. It was a mantra that you told yourself since this whole outbreak happened. Right now though, this Negan guy had seriously made you doubt it. You were terrified and your whole body was telling you that. “You’re from Alexandria, aren’t you? Did Rick send you out this way trying to get some intel on us…?”

“You…you know Rick?” you muttered confused and he laughed a bit harder. His nose wrinkled as he shook his head. This wasn’t the type of man that Rick would associate himself with. How did he know about Rick and Alexandria? “How do you…”

“Oh don’t play this fucking game with me doll. You can’t be from Alexandria and not know who I am,” Negan’s deep voice boomed in around you. He stared at you for a long moment before shaking his head. “Well damn. Damn. Fucking hell, you aren’t kidding. You don’t fucking know who I am.”

“Why would I? I’ve been gone for a few weeks looking for supplies,” you explained with an uneven breath, confused as to what had happened. “Is Rick okay? Is everyone in Alexandria alright?”

“Oh doll. You’ve got one hell of a wakeup call coming to you,” his head shook in a moment of disappointment. “How close were you to these people?”

You stayed silent. He didn’t need to know more than he already did. Truth be told you were rather new to the group at Alexandria. You had been with several different groups until Rick and Daryl had found you alone. You were barely alive by the time they had found you and honestly, at that point you had pretty much given up in general. Every time you had a good thing going, something bad always happened and ended that all for you.

“Alright, fine. Don’t tell me,” Negan slammed the baseball bat against the coffee table making you jump again. It was almost like he was doing it to toy with you, to make you angry. “Let me tell you something honey. This right here, I believe you’ve already met her…is Lucille. She’s beautiful, isn’t she?”

Wrinkling your nose, you looked over the bat as he held it up in the air admiring it himself. The sick bastard named his bat after a woman? His smile was quite large as he brought the bat down heavily again over the coffee table. This time it caused the table legs to shake and you whimpered. It was involuntary, but you just couldn’t help it.

“She doesn’t like it when she doesn’t get the answers that she wants,” Negan informed you with a smirk. It was a devilish smirk and it came off very intimidating as his hazel eyes stared out into yours. “So don’t piss her off and answer the questions I fucking ask you because shit…you’ve seen what she does when she gets fucking mad as hell. Do you understand me?”

You nodded and he sighed heavily before leaning back against the couch again.

“Hopefully you weren’t very close to the Asian and big red,” Negan snickered and you could feel a tension in your chest. Was he referring to Glenn and Abraham? You really hadn’t gotten to know either of them very well, but Glenn was always one of the nicest people you had met there. He was always willing to believe in those that were new and given them a chance at proving themselves to the group. Did they suffer the same fate that had happened earlier to one of the men that you were with? “If so, well I’m sorry for your loss.”

You said nothing. What could you say? He was laughing again and it almost seemed like he was talking to himself. Or maybe he was talking to the bat. Either way, this guy was fucking crazy and the more time that you spent with him in this room alone, the more you pondered what he was going to do with that bat. 

  
“Okay back to the questions. First of all, who the hell would send a pretty girl out there in the world of scary fucking zombies?” Negan interrogated you, his tone sounded like he was mocking you since you were a woman and you felt your jaw tightening. “I mean look at you…you’re fucking smoking. Obviously a little dirty from everything that happened, but I do enjoy myself a dirty fucking girl.”

“I’m not weak just because I’m a female...Negan. We all have to play our part,” your growled seeing his eyes widen and he placed his free hand over his leather clad chest mocking shock from your answer. Snarling, you shook your head and looked down toward the ground again away from him. The more you stared out at him, the angrier you got. “I was new to community. I had to prove my worth and I was eager to comply.”

“A woman that is okay with taking orders. Oh my. The sound of that just makes my dick a bit solid thinking about it,” he muttered thickly and you looked up at him with a disgusted expression. This guy had one hell of a disgusting mouth on him. When he noticed that his comment may have offended you, he whipped his head around a bit and shrugged.  “Oh I’m sorry, was talking about my cock inappropriate? Well, fuck me.”

You stayed silent. You weren’t sure how to respond to this man. It just felt like he was playing games with you.

“So what? You go out and get supplies with the group and you get to be in that nice shiny shithole?” he snickered and you nodded.

Negan set his bat down on the coffee table before throwing his hands up. “See you people at Alexandria. Think you can fucking get away with murdering some of my men and when I just pay back what was done to them, you get all fucking bitchy with me. Think I’m some kind of fucking monster. What kind of man would I be if I let you fuckers murder my men? I mean, come on. There has to be a fucking punishment for something so fucking fuckety stupid like that.”

“I didn’t murder anyone,” you snarled in response and he smiled standing up from the couch again. He clapped his hands together a bit and you could feel your chest tightening.  You looked up at him as he stood before you. He towered over you with you down on your knees before him. “What are you going to do with me? What are you going to do with the other two that I was with?”

“The others will be given back to Rick because I actually fucking believe you when you tell me that your little group had no idea who the hell I was,” Negan responded with a shrug and you tried to look away from him again. It made you uncomfortable with how close he was to you. The fact that you were about level with his groin didn’t make things any easier.

His fingertips pressed in over your jawline again, forcing you to look up at him as he licked his lips. It was what you imagined a lion to do when it was watching its prey. “As far as you…I find you very fucking beautiful. You’re going to be staying here with us…”

“I’d rather be out there,” your words vibrated against his fingertips as he hushed you and shook his head.

“You’d rather be out in a world with fucking zombies trying to eat your pretty little ass? You should be fucking thanking me for all the shit I’ve done for you. The Saviors wanted to kill you and the rest of your group after their co-workers were murdered doll. People don’t take that shit too kindly,” Negan informed you with a shrug. “I saw you though and I just thought…I’ve got to have you. So I made sure that you were brought back here safely.”

“You’ve got to have me?” you repeated his words and he nodded. His eyebrows tensed together as he smiled wider and you shook your head. “I’m not someone’s to have.”

“Ah, see. That’s where you are wrong. Anyone around here…belongs to me. It’s just a matter of how you belong to me. That’s where the fucking perks are,” he assured you with a nod and he urged you to look up at him again. “See right now…nothing is hotter than a woman on her knees in front of me. Shit it just…”

“Stop,” you demanded realizing where he was headed and you heard his laughter fill the room. You pulled your jaw away from him disgusted by how amused he got with upsetting you. “You’re crazy if you don’t think what you are doing is wrong. This whole thing is going to get you killed.”

“I know you think I’m a monster, but I’m just trying to make a good living here. We have food here at The Sanctuary. We have farming. We’ve made something here,” Negan rambled a bit and he was over exaggerative in the way he spoke. His hands were always moving, his body always following through with his words. That was one thing you noticed about him. How over exaggerative he was in everything that he did. “We’ve developed a system where we promise to leave those alone as they give us what we want…”

“The Sanctuary?” your nose wrinkled in response and he sighed, kneeling before you again and his face was extremely close to yours. It made you extremely uncomfortable and he could tell. The more uncomfortable you seemed to get, the closer he would press in toward you. A smile pressed in over his features as he reached out to press a strand of hair away from your eyes. “Please…I just want to go home.”

“And Alexandria is your home?” he questioned and you thought about it for a moment before nodding. “Well see, from what I’ve learned from you…you haven’t been there long enough for it to be a home. If you are new, no one is going to miss you and to be fucking honest with you darling…I’m not going to let you leave. I own you. I own your friends. I own the people of Alexandria. Everything…everyone…belongs to me.”

“Wow, your ego is ridiculously huge,” you felt his breath pressing in over your face and you gulped down heavily. His smile was gone and you could tell that he was suddenly very serious.

“Truth is doll…I brought you here because I thought you may be interested in being one of my wives,” he muttered reaching out with his leather clad hand to caress his fingertips over the side of your face. A laugh fell from your lips and it seemed to knock him off guard. “I’d be able to protect you. Keep you safe. Give you shelter and food.”

“Wives?” you repeated his word seeing him smile and nod before you leaned back away from his touch. “You have multiples wives?”

“I do,” he responded and you laughed again.

“Wow…absolutely fucking not,” you swore for the first time and it was clear that your bite back interested him. “You’re a fucking monster. The fact that you have such an ego and multiple women that you are married to makes me really wonder what you are lacking in the sack too. A zombie apocalypse happens and you take it as your playground. Start ordering others around telling people that you own them. That you own everything? Are we children on the playground? I mean…is this a joke?”

“You’d be fucking surprised how good I am in the fucking sack,” he muttered with a scowl before smiling again. It was like a switch. The guy was either smiling or screaming. It made you extremely uncomfortable as it was. “This isn’t a joke. I’m offering you something special here.”

“I’m not going to be one of someone’s wives…I’m a one and only kind of girl,” you responded seeing his eyebrows tensing together and he laughed at you.

“It’s kind of slim pickings now doll,” Negan reminded you with a shake of his head. “You either take what you can get or you get a zombie. Which truth be told would be quite the bitch. They’d be gnawing on that pretty pussy of yours before…”

Feeling the rage in which how he talked to you, you spit in his face seeing him recoil when it hit his face. His silly expression had become very serious as he reached out for you and grabbed a hold of your arms. He pulled you to your feet in a matter of seconds and shoved you on top of the table he had in the corner of the room.

“You are going to learn, you are fucking mine…” Negan rumbled behind you and you could feel your heart hammering in your chest. Your face was smashed against the table as his hand pressed in over the back of your neck. You could feel his body pressed up against you from behind and you bit down your bottom lip. The asshole was fucking hard and you could feel it as he was pressed up against you. “You’re going to understand…”

“Please…” you gasped feeling him grabbing a hold of your body and suddenly you felt very scared with him pressed up behind you. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?” he challenged your words feeling you tremble when he pressed his hand in over the small of your back. “What do you think I’m going to do you? You think I’m trying to fuck that sweet little pussy of yours?”

“Just…don’t,” you begged hearing him laughing as he pulled away from you and you felt suddenly confused as he reached for your wrists. He used a pocket knife that he had pulled out of his pocket to cut the tie around your wrists that kept you bound. You fell to the ground in the corner of the room staring up at him as he shook his head.

“You act like you’ve never had a dick pressed up against you before doll,” he laughed seeing the way you looked away from him almost as if you were embarrassed. “Well fucking hell, you never have…have you? How fucking old are you?”

“Twenty four,” you answered with a whisper and he laughed before shaking his head. He peeled the leather glove from his fingertips and threw it onto the table. He pushed his hand throughout his slicked back hair and you gulped down. “I focused on school…”

“And then all hell broke loose?” he retorted and you nodded. He brushed his fingertips throughout his hair again before moving over toward the sink in the corner of the room. He turned it on and started to splash some of the water over his face to clean off the dry blood. “Twenty four and you’ve never been fucked? I find that shit to be unbelievable.”

“We have zombies running around and you find it hard to believe that someone is a virgin at twenty four?” your voice cracked, your body still scared of what he might do to you. “What? Does that turn you on more? Going to help when you rape me?”

“Rape you? You think I was going to rape you?” he laughed turning to look at you with water sliding down his face. “I was only trying to make a point of who is in charge. I’m not going to rape you. I don’t believe in it.”

“Somehow, I don’t believe you,” you slurred your words a bit when he looked over his shoulder at you with his hazel eyes. He was smiling again. You were starting to wonder if that was just a permanent look on his face. “With your ego…you were pressed up against me…”

“If I was going to rape you, I would have,” he informed you with a firm nod and you suddenly realized that he had every chance to actually do it. While his face was buried in the sink cleaning off the blood, you took a look around. There was no weapons close. Even if there was, how far could you get after attacking him? You didn’t even know where you were. Looking to the coffee table you could see his bat sitting there. “I don’t know what you know doll, but the very sight of you makes me hard. Pretty sure I said that already. That happened long before I pushed you onto that fucking table.”

His words were just rambling together as you stared at the bat. Pondering if you could get to in time. If you could use it as a weapon.

“She’s a beautiful fucking woman isn’t she? Lucille’s my dirty little girl,” you looked over your shoulder to see Negan staring out at you. He caught you trying to plan something, yet he wasn’t coming at you.

He turned off the water and reached for the hand towel beside him on the counter. “Listen, I untied you. At least you could fucking not thinking about trying to kill me with that shit. Okay? Especially not with my precious Lucille. I’m not going to hurt you. I have no reason to fucking hurt you. I hurt those that need hurtin’. Not people who simply fucking spit in my face. I’m also not very big on killing women. Men, sure. I can kill them all day if I had to, but not really big on killing females. Lucille might get a little touchy about things, but not me. She’s just the jealous type.”

“We’re still talking about the fucking bat?” you muttered hearing him laugh again and you bit back a nervous groan. God, this guy was crazy.

“I’m serious about the wife thing…”

“I’m serious about my answer too,” you watched him moved over toward you and reach for your hand. He pulled you up to him and your breath caught in the back of your throat. To be honest, he still scared the shit out of. “No.”

“Alright, well…then you’re just going to make a living here like everyone else. You don’t have to be my wife,” he muttered, his warm fingertips pressing in under your jawline as he cupped your face in his rough hands. “Eventually though, I will fuck you. Not because I’m raping you, but because you will be begging me for it. I won’t do it, until you absolutely beg me for it.”

“That’s not going to happen,” you laughed feeling his warm breath pressing in over your face and you gulped down heavily. “I would never beg for that from you.”

“Mhmm,” he smirked that same fucking charming smirk and it made a lump grow at the base of your throat. His fingertips pressed into your hair as you clenched your fists at your sides. “Your pretty little pussy will want me in you at some point. I’m a patient man.”

“You’ll die before I beg for anything from you,” you bit back and he laughed. “What are you going to do with me?”

“Well, I’ll get someone to bring you some clean clothes. Get some rest and then relax. I don’t need you to be so tense when I have you doing things around here. As you said, we all have to play our part, right?” Negan muttered with a deep sigh, reaching for his glove as he nodded. “I need to get cleaned up now, but I’ll be back. Give you a few days to fucking relax.”

“Wait, you are just going to keep me here to work?” you questioned feeling a bit confused. Was this a joke? He was going to keep you alive just to help out around their…sanctuary. “Why?”

“I told you, I’m not going to kill you…” Negan muttered with a wink as he pulled his leather gloves back on. He adjusted his leather jacket before shrugging. “Just try to calm down and not try anything stupid. I know that shit is really hard. Right now, this is your room. Welcome to The Sanctuary doll.”

Negan picked up the baseball bat and looked over his shoulder at you with a wide smile. Moving to the door, he opened it and it was very obvious that Simon had been standing out there waiting to make sure that Negan was safe. Negan gave you one last wink before leaving and closing the door behind him. After a moment of waiting, you moved to the door and pulled on the handle realizing that you were locked in. Letting out a tight breath, you looked out the barred window that was in the corner of the room and could see barely anything that was beyond the frosted window.

“Now what?” you muttered to yourself letting out a deep sigh as you thought about everything that had taken place. What was going to happen to you now?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan comes to visit the reader again, this time being a little bit stronger with his intentions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, there is a lot of swearing, but also a little bit of smut toward the end of the chapter. Much more smut to come.

It had been over a week since you had first met Negan. Just like he had said, they had given you a few days to “calm down”. There were some men that would come and get you to let you out of the room, but they were always watching you. Most recently it was a man by the name of Dwight. His face was extremely scarred from a severe burn and from what you heard from some of the people at The Sanctuary was that Negan had actually given it to him. The idea that someone could be so loyal to Negan when he did something so awful totally flabbergasted you. Negan had a dark side. A very dark side and yet all of ‘The Saviors’ that you had met blindly followed him.

As of the last three days they had you actually working and interacting with the people around The Sanctuary. You knew that you shouldn’t have been comfortable being there, but they hadn’t really done anything to you. Yet, that was. They had you working on some of the farming, collecting food and helping to cook. Part of you wanted to find a way out, to try and run back to Alexandria, but at the same time you knew that it was safe being where you were. There was food, clean clothes, showers and protection. The Saviors weren’t exactly the friendliest of people, but the other people that you had met that worked there seemed to be okay.

Alexandria was more of a home, but this felt safer to you. Not because of the people, but because of what you had gotten used to before you even met up with the group from Alexandria. When living at Alexandria, it felt like everyone was trying to forget that you lived in a zombie apocalypse. While that was a nice thought, it left people open to being blind sighted and gullible. Here, they seemed to know the threat. They took it head on and while you couldn’t agree with what they did to living people and never could, they never seemed to ignore the fact that there were zombies ruling the world now.

It had been a long day out in the sun collecting and working on things. The group you were working with was quiet about most things you had questions about. You tried to learn as much as you could about The Sanctuary…and Negan. Everyone seemed too scared to share information though and those that did tell you things…they were very cautious about it. You were very interested in Negan. It seemed like he had such a high interest in you the day that you met him that you were confused that he hadn’t returned to see you yet.

When you were out working the last few days though, you saw him. Several times in fact. Today was the first time he seemed to notice you again though. You were working with some of the crops and digging in the dirt when you saw him talking with some of his Saviors at a truck. They seemed to be unloading things while Negan stood watch, holding Lucille over his right shoulder. Several times you had caught him staring at you from where you worked. Sadly, it interested you, but at the same time worried you. The people you spoke to often mentioned that when Negan had an interest in someone, he never let it go. So why had he left you alone for over a week? According to others, that wasn’t very normal.

Making your way back toward your room after lunch, you looked over your shoulder to see Dwight following you. That was another thing; you had a constant watch on you. Clearly they thought that you were going to try and do something. To try and take off, but you hadn’t tried it. You valued your life too much right now to even try. It wasn’t worth running away.

“Do you enjoy your job?” you looked over your shoulder at Dwight and his expression seemed to strain when you stopped moving. “I mean, why do you guys have to monitor me? I’m clearly not going anywhere.”

“You ask too many questions,” Dwight scowled at you and you sighed heavily. This was a pretty typical response from any of The Saviors that you spoke to.

“I asked one question,” you muttered back and he nodded, reaching out to grab a hold of your arm to start pulling you back toward your room that you had been staying in.

“One too many,” Dwight snapped at you, stopping in front of the door to give you another one of his famous scowls. “You should feel good about yourself. Most people have to sleep in cots in a big room all together. Negan has given you your own room. Not many people get that luxury here.”

“A luxury?” you laughed at his comment and he didn’t seem too enthused with your response as he reached out to shove you toward the door. “Yeah, I get it. Get in my room. I’m on my way sir.”

“You have a smart mouth, you know?” Dwight asked grabbed a tight hold of your arm as you pushed open the door and it seemed like he was going to follow you in until you both jumped at the sight of Negan sitting on your leather couch. He had his feet resting up on your coffee table, lounging out his long legs. He still had that leather jacket on, but this time it was open revealing a very clean, white t-shirt beneath that clung to his toned body. As always, he was smiling. “Negan…”

“Hey D, I see you enjoy the company of our newest guest as well,” Negan winked across at you and you felt Dwight releasing his hold on your arm. “It’s a good thing that you let go of her arm. Another second holding her like that and I would have broken your fucking fingers.”

“I was just…” Dwight clarified trying to defend his actions as Negan tilted his head to side, giving a firm glare to the man that was beside you. “Yes sir, I’m sorry.”

“We’ll talk later, now leave us alone,” Negan demanded reaching up to caress his right hand over the side of his stubble covered jawline. Dwight said nothing more and quickly moved out of the room, closing the door behind him. This whole time you had been wondering why Negan never came back, but now that he was before you lounged out on the couch, you found yourself wondering why it was you were eager to find that out. “Did you miss me?”

You said nothing, just stood there looking out at him. When you didn’t respond, he laughed and dragged his tongue along his bottom lip before smiling again.

“I sure missed you,” he winked again and you shook your head moving across the room toward the kitchen table. “Watching you working on your hands and knees today in the dirt…shit. That really got to me you know?”

“Right,” you smirked seeing him wink and you could feel that the comment charmed you. God, that was stupid. Why?

“I’ve been thinking about you a lot. How’ve you been fitting in?” Negan inquired from behind you, but you didn’t look back at him. 

“Other than the constant watch guards I have on me, I’m doing great at fitting in,” you stated looking back over your shoulder at him as he laughed and stood from the couch. He leaned to the side a bit as he moved over toward you and you shook your head. “Do you ever get sick of smiling?”

“Is there something wrong with having a fucking smile on my face?” Negan questioned with his deep voice making you shudder a bit. Physically, everything was perfect about him. Yeah, he was a little over exaggerative in the way he did things and he always moved around a little like he was drunk, but physically you were attracted to him. That in itself scared the hell out of you. “I always felt that life was too short not to smile.”

“It scares a lot of people. Makes the world think that you enjoy all the nasty shit that you do,” you watched him moving in closer to you and felt him reach out to caress over the side of your face. His fingertips traced over your jawline and it made you let out a shivering exhale. “Do you ever stop?”

“Oh no, I’m always ready to go. Always standing at attention,” Negan joked with a wide smile, dragging his tongue along his bottom lip again. Shaking your head, you rolled your eyes and pulled away from him. “Fuck hun, you make it really hard for me here.”

“Jesus…” you let out a laugh and realized that you were actually laughing at his sexual jokes. The fact that you were doing that seriously made you question if you were starting to get crazy from being here. “You never stop.”

“Oh, don’t act like that shit doesn’t have some kind of effect on you,” Negan shot back, twirling his finger out in the air while he pointed at you. “You find me charming as hell.”

“I find you disgusting,” you moved out across the room after patting him on the shoulder. You sat on the couch and let out a long sigh. Leaning forward, you pressed your hand in over your head and could feel the heat from your damp skin against your touch. It must have been really hot because you definitely wore yourself today and you could feel your body ache all over the place. “It’s like eighty degrees and you are in a leather jacket…doesn’t that make you kind of an idiot?”

“The only thing making me hot around here is you right now doll,” he winked and moved across the room to sit on the edge of the coffee table in front of you. He was close to you again. That uncomfortable close that only he liked to do around here.

“Would you just stop with the cheesy pickup lines? I’ve heard better ones going to a bar at college before the apocalypse broke out,” you laughed again and this time felt different as you felt his hand pressing in over knee, caressing over it. “Do you even know my name?”

“Of course I know your name. The two I sent back to Rick couldn’t stop fucking say it the day they left. Thought I was fucking torturing you or some shit,” Negan sighed before moving in closer to you and you pulled back. “Oh come the fuck on…”

“The people I’ve talked to pretty much say you would fuck anything Negan,” you reached up to press your hand in over the center of his chest to get him to back up away from you. “I’m not feeling great as it is. Staying away from me for a week and then coming here…things aren’t going to change just like that Negan.”

“I like to make people happy. I like to be fucking happy, so if I can put a smile on someone’s face just by sharing something as simple as a fuck, then so be it,” Negan responded, his hand moving further up your thigh and you could feel goosebumps pressing in over your skin. Negan bit on his bottom lip and shrugged. “Also, in case you missed it doll, I’m kinda a busy guy. I gave you time to let you see that I wasn’t going to do a single fucking thing bad to you.”

“I’m still on the fence about that,” you stood up knowing that it would just make things more complicated if you let him keep caressing your thigh like that. Your heart was hammering in your chest as it was. “I know nothing about you Negan. No one wants to talk about you here, all I know is that you kill people to make a point.”

“What could you possibly want to fucking know? I see the way you look at me. Shit, any thirstier and you’d be jumping me right now,” Negan taunted, his hazel eyes looking you over from where he was sitting on the table. “It scares your pretty little ass that you have the hots for the bad fucking guy. I’m not really the bad guy though. I just get shit done. I do what fucking needs to be done to prove a damn point. That shouldn’t make me the bad guy.”

“There are better ways to prove a point,” you suggested watching him roll his eyes before standing up from the coffee table. His hand pressed in over the bottom of his white shirt, his palm caressing over the center of his chest to give enough lift to his shirt to reveal his toned abdomen to your sight. Licking your lips involuntarily, you couldn’t help, but look. It didn’t stop you from damning yourself for it though when you met his glance and knew that he had caught you staring. “This has to be some kind of crazy Stockholm thing…”

“What the fuck does that shit mean?” Negan snickered caressing his hand chest a few more seconds before dropping his hands at his sides.

“Nothing you would comprehend,” you muttered turning away from him. Feeling a bit faint, you reached for the counter, but didn’t want to let him know that something felt wrong. “What did…what…”

“What?” Negan voice pressed in behind you as you felt your body get a bit weak. Gulping down, you could feel the room spinning around you. There was a strong pressure in your head and you could feel your heart pounding. It was like your body just had a rush of adrenaline, but didn’t know how to handle it. Your legs started to give out, but you could feel Negan catch you before you could hit the ground. “What the hell was that?”

“I just think I was out in the sun too much today,” you muttered trying to pull yourself from him feeling extremely uncomfortable with his arms around you. The only problem was…you couldn’t find the power to stand. Negan’s hand pressed in over your head and you could feel your body shaking a bit. “I’m fine…”

“Son of a bitch, you’re not fine,” Negan muttered feeling the fever that was pressing in over your forehead, but you couldn’t respond. All you could feel was the loss of sensation in your body and then the world went dark. 

Several times you had managed to open your eyes, but barely. You felt hot and cold at the same time. Everything felt awful and the only thing that you could manage to do was slightly see two men above you. One of them was Negan and he seemed to be pacing.

“Well get her the fucking medicine then,” Negan stammered and before you could even find the strength to continue, you were out…again.

\------  
  
Gasping, your eyes snapped open and you saw darkness surrounding you. There was a small amount of light filtering into the room that you were in, but it wasn’t the room that you were used to. This wasn’t the room that they had kept you in at the sanctuary. After taking a moment, you were able to adjust to the lighting and you found yourself at a loss. What happened?

Trying to get up, you could still feel a heavy ache in your body, but you managed to sit up in the fairly large bed that you were in. Reaching beside you could feel the soft silky sensation of the sheets beside you and you let out a tense breath.

Feeling slightly chilled, you looked down to see that you were in a lacy, black nightgown. One that you certainly had not gotten yourself dressed in. It had been years since you had even seen something like this since the outbreak. Tugging at the bottom of it, you heard a small groan and jumped. Looking behind you, you saw Negan lying in the bed stretched out. The sheets were wrapped loosely around his waist and he was very much shirtless.

Letting out a gasp, you stood from the bed and felt your legs give out on you making you hit the ground in a thud. Reaching for the edge of the bed you could see Negan shoot up into a sitting position to look out at you with his tired eyes. His hair was a mess and it was the first time you had really seen Negan not in a perfect presentation of himself.

“What the fuck is going on?” Negan questioned with a yawn before a smirk pressed in over his features when he saw you staring out at him from the edge of the bed. You clearly looked scared at the idea of you sleeping with him in his bed as his deep laugh filled the air. “What the hell are you doing doll?”

“What’s going on here?” you tried to pull yourself up, but you really didn’t have the strength to get up at the moment.

“Do you recall anything?” Negan watched you carefully as you shook your head and he sighed, pulling himself up more in the bed. The more you watched him, the more you wondered just how much he was actually wearing under the sheets. Trying not to stare, you didn’t want him to get the wrong idea with how you were looking at him. “You were sick. You had a fever and you passed out in my arms. I got you help from the doctor here. Got you some fucking medicine and you are getting better. I was too worried to leave you alone in case the fever came back so I brought you to my fucking room.”

“And the nightgown?” you looked down at your body seeing the way that it clung to you and you looked back to see his devious smile staring out you. “Did we…?”

“I figured you might be more comfortable in something like that when you slept. Trust me; I didn’t do any bad shit. I didn’t even cop a fucking feel,” Negan boasted moving across the bed before reaching for your hand to help pull you back up with him. You still kept your space at the other corner of the bed as you watched him lean back to lie on the pillows again. His muscular arm wrapped around the back of his head as you looked over the lines of his muscular chest. “Well…maybe one.”

“Are you naked?” you blurted out seeing the lines of his abdomen that led toward his hips. Gulping down, you saw him smile widely and reach down to place his hand over the sheets where you imagined he was touching himself.

“Would you like me to be?” he teased further and you gasped a bit when you saw him pull the sheets back to reveal that he was in a pair of tight gray boxer briefs. “I fucking figured you might be a bit more comfortable with me wearing these. I tend to sleep naked, but I figured what the hell, try to be a decent guy.”

“Why?” your words came out short and you realized you sounded ungrateful, but this was all too much to take in. “Why care? Why be nice. That doesn’t sound like you.”

“You barely know me. You know the fucking idea of me. You know the fear of me. I think if I was as much of a monster as you fucking thought I was. I would have let you die,” his words came off a bit angry and his chest seemed to flex every time he emphasized some of his words. “I could force anyone to fucking come and be my wife. I didn’t have to waste our supplies on you. I like you. Shit. Is it hard to imagine that I did something to make sure to keep someone I actually fucking like around?”

“You barely know me either,” you muttered feeling so confused. One of the sexiest men you have seen was lying before you nearly naked. His naked torso making you feel so many things that you didn’t even think you would ever feel once everything broke out, yet all you could do was think about why he did what he did.

“Then lay your pretty little ass down because you’re still fucking sick and let’s talk…” Negan suggested while moving over to the other side of the bed and patting beside him on the empty spot. “Lay with me. Don’t make me ask again.”

Nodding, you did as he told. It was something that you learned even from The Saviors. Everyone did what Negan wanted and you were too afraid to find out why they wouldn’t disobey. Carefully moving in beside Negan, you could feel his arm wrapping around your waist and coaxing you to back in closer to him. Feeling his muscular arms wrapped around you, you closed your eyes and tried not to focus on the warmth of his body wrapped around you or the sensation of his chest pressed up behind you. There was a tingling sensation that pressed throughout your body as you gulped down. Hopefully it was because you were sick and not because this was affecting you in ways that you really hadn’t felt before.

“What’s it gonna take to have you trust me doll?” Negan’s breath pressed in over the back of your neck as spoke and it made you close your eyes shut tightly. While it should have scared you when you felt his stubble pressing in over the back of your neck, you just found your body warming up at the idea of him so close.

“I don’t think I ever will trust you,” you whispered hearing him groan in annoyance behind you and you could feel his arm tightening around you. Reaching down, you pressed your fingertips in over his arm. You trailed your fingertips over his skin before wrapping your hand around his fingers. “Maybe that’s part of what interests me…”

“Ah, so you do have a bit of a dark side in you, huh? Well shit…” Negan spoke up and could tell that just from the tone he was speaking in that he was smiling. “So maybe there’s a bit of hope…”

“I’m not sure hope is exactly the right word to use,” you retorted feeling his fingertips squeezing around yours before you felt his legs pressing in closer to yours somewhat entangling the two of you together. “What were you before this all broke loose? Before you were this...Negan?”

“What?” Negan chortled, surprisingly letting out a snort when he laughed making your smirk at the idea. “New question.”

“No, I’m serious…if I were to take a guess. Maybe an injured baseball player? Someone who was on the way to being something big and he got hurt?” you looked over your shoulder at him and he seemed confused as to why you wanted to know this about him. “Humor me.”

“I was a gym teacher,” he murmured and you almost assumed it was a joke. Laughing for a moment, you saw his nose wrinkle and it seemed like he was embarrassed. “I’m not joking.”

“Oh, I’m sorry…” you covered your mouth with your free hand suddenly feeling a bit worried that you embarrassed Negan. “Wow, I didn’t mean…”

“No, shit it is funny. A guy like me being something as stupid as that shit,” Negan grunted unpleasantly before dropping his head further back into the pillow. “I was never much of a man. I actually prefer life now. Now, I stand for something. Then…shit, life was just boring.”

“I’ll have to disagree with you there,” you turned away from him again and you feel him pulling his fingertips away from yours, but he didn’t take them away. They just seemed to slide in over the side of your hip, caressing over your body in a teasing manner. “Negan…”

“Yeah?” he breathed against the back of your neck and you could feel the sensation of his lips pressing in over your sensitive flesh. Wincing, you could feel his lips trailing in over the side of your neck before nipping at your skin. “You need to learn how to relax darlin’.”

Closing your eyes, your mind was telling you to stop, but as you felt his tongue flicking hot, wet lines over the side of your neck, you just couldn’t find it in yourself to say no. His large hand squeezed in over your thigh making a whimper fall from your lips.

“There you go,” Negan’s mouth pressed in over your earlobe, flicking his tongue over your flesh before nipping at it softly. Negan’s right hand reached up to press in over the base of your neck, gripping at it tight enough to make a point, but not hard enough to hurt you and it made you let out a small gasp. “You have no idea the things I could do to make you relax…”

“Negan, maybe…” you could hear him hushing you as his left hand slid up the side of your body toward your breast, cupping it softly in his large palm making you let out a tight breath.

“So nervous, yet so fucking eager…” Negan turned your jaw closer to him as his lips caressed small lines over the side of your neck and toward your lips. “Something tells me there is a naughty girl in there just begging to come out and have me fuck you.”

“Wait…” you gasped feeling him pressing in closer toward your lips and you could feel your heart hammering inside of your chest. Your body was trembling and it was obvious that Negan knew the effects he was having on you. “I was sick…”

“I’m not afraid of a little bug that can be cured with antibiotics,” Negan slurred moving in to press a soft lingering kiss over your bottom lip making a small noise escape your throat. He pulled back for a moment, looking over you with his heavy eyes before smiling. It was like he was testing just how far he could go without you getting upset. “The idea doesn’t scare me at all. In fact, I’m very up for the challenge.”

Gasping, you felt him press his hips in closer to you and you could feel his solid form pressing in over your bottom giving you time to picture just how up for the challenge he actually was. Gulping down, it was obvious that Negan was determined to get what he had wanted from you since the beginning. While you wanted to say you were fearless in this whole situation, it was very much the opposite.

“It’s been a while since I have had someone trembling just by touching them,” his hand slid up over the arm of the nightgown and pushed the material down slowly. His lips lowered over your shoulder kissing softly over your body, taking his time to trace his warm tongue over the sensitive areas of your body. “I like it. It’s making me so unbelievably fucking hard.”

The grip on your throat tightened and you let out a pleasured groan. You liked the way he was making claim on you and while it should have made you nervous that he was holding your throat like he was, it actually turned you on more.

“Would I be the first man to fucking touch you?” Negan growled nipping at your flesh again and instead of pulling away, you could feel your body pressing in closer to him. His left hand lowered down your body and toward your thighs forcing them apart with his rough grip. He urged your leg up over his thigh and you could feel your body trembling while pressed up against him. “I’ll take your body’s response as a fucking yes.”

“I don’t think…” you tried to stammer, but his lips pressed in over yours roughly. It wasn’t soft like the first time, this time it was more demanding and clear that he was trying to get you to stop thinking in general.

“Am I making you wet?” he growled against your lips as his hand slid up your thigh toward your panties making you try to pull away from him and he shook his head. His grip was too strong on you and you weren’t moving anywhere. Finally reaching your core, he pressed his fingertips over your panties tracing over the lines of your body through the material and a satisfied smile pressed in over his lips. “You’re just fucking aching for me, aren’t you?”

His lips were quick to cover yours again as you felt him pressing the material of your panties aside and you let out an uncomfortable noise. His tongue forced its way between your lips, clearly eager to taste you. Your eyes slammed shut as you could feel his fingertips pressing in over your most intimate parts. Pulling away from him, you could see a proud smile over his lips as his fingertips met your clitoris making a cry fall from your lips.

“Tell Negan what you want…” Negan grumbled moving in to bite at the side of your neck making a cry escape your lips again when his caress was rough, but clearly he was skilled enough to know how to pleasure you. Arching closer to his caress, you could feel his hips bucking in behind you and this was awful, but felt so right. At first you were eager to get the hell away from him and now your body was begging to be touched by him. Negan pulled his fingertips away from you and you let out an involuntary whimper clearly craving his touch. He hushed you and reached his fingertips up to his lips, sucking over them softly and letting out a tight groan. “You taste so fucking sweet…just like I thought you would.”

Pressing your left hand back, you pressed it over his hair dusted abdomen trying to keep a small distance from his hips bucking against you. The more he did that, the more it seemed to drive a warmth throughout your body. God, you wanted it so bad, but your mind knew better than to want to be with this monster.

“Tell me what you want,” Negan demanded an answer, his mouth pressing in over your jaw again while the grip of his fingertips around your throat tightened. His left hand gripped at your thigh again making sure it was braced open enough before he reached for your core, sliding his saliva covered fingertips between your lips. He seemed to tease you for a moment before pressing his fingertips over your entrance, teasing at the idea of pushing his fingers inside of you before finally doing so, inserting a single finger into you. His mouth was eager to cover yours as he slowly started to plunge his finger back and forth inside of you, making soft cries erupt from your lips into his. “Oh fuck. You are so damn tight…”

“Wait…” you breathed feeling your body shaking against his movement and your jaw was tightening. Everything inside of you wanted to continue, but there was a sudden guilt overcoming you. The images of what Negan did to the member of your group seemed to flash into your mind and you let out an uncomfortable breath. “Negan! Stop!”

 “Jesus…” he muttered when you pulled away from him angrily and managed to gather up the strength to stand up from the bed. “What? What is it?”

“I can’t…I just can’t do this right now,” you could feel your heart hammering in your chest and you could see him lying stretched out on the bed clearly confused. Looking to his boxer brief clad body, you could see that he was solid beneath the material, but you had to fight yourself to keep from looking.

“After everything I’ve done…you still don’t fucking trust me…” Negan huffed getting up from the bed and he grabbed a pillow. He tossed it in the corner of the room angrily toward the couch he had. “That’s fine. That’s alright. I told you I was going to make you fucking beg for it anyways. I was making it too easy for you.”

“I just…” you watched him move across the room and drop down on the couch in a heavy drop. “You should sleep in your own bed. I’ll take the couch.”

“Fuck that. Just lay down and when it’s morning, we’ll take you back to your fucking room,” Negan smirked again and he reached down to adjust himself in his boxer briefs. “You want me you know. It’s only a matter of time before you are begging for me. I can promise you that.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader has another meet up with Negan, but this time in the showers....

Every muscle in your body ached as you made your way toward the showers of The Sanctuary. It seemed like over the last few days they had been working you extra hard to get things done. You didn’t know if it was a vendetta that the boys had against you because of having your own room that Negan had you set up in or it was due to the fact that you turned down Negan. You didn’t want to believe that he would do something like that. Give his Saviors the orders of going harder on you because of you turning him down.

Looking over your shoulder, you could see Dwight was following you and you let out an angered breath. Still, they were keeping up with you being followed. After being there for so long as it was, you think they would let up on the whole following you thing.

“Don’t you have something better to do with your time instead of standing watch while I’m taking a shower?” your words shot out like venom as Dwight snarled at you. He was carrying a rifle at his side and he picked it up, throwing it over his shoulder. “Don’t you think it’s a little creepy that you have to follow me to take a shower? Or do you like that kind of thing? Watching people naked in the shower.”

“You really need to learn to keep your mouth shut,” Dwight snapped at you, his voice coming out cracked as he watched you stop in front of the lockers before getting to the showers area. There was already the sound of the showers on and clearly you were going to wait until the person in there was done. “Oh no, you don’t get the luxury of waiting until someone else is done. What do you think? You are always going to get the showers to yourself? You’re not that special.”

“Wow, you’re all sunshine and rainbows, aren’t you?” you mocked him before feeling him shove into your shoulder to get you to move toward the showers.

Out of all The Saviors that had been watching over you, he was your least favorite. There were others that were creepy, but they would often leave you alone. For some reason, Dwight sure had something against you and he made it clear. Sure, he probably didn’t like your smart ass attitude, but that just came with the territory. If you took things seriously these days, you’d probably go insane.

Hearing the sound of a song playing in the distance you let out a disgusted groan and reached for one of the towels that they had sitting in the corner of the locker room they had there. Constantly, all day long you heard this tune replaying over and over again. At first it was catchy, but after days of hearing it blasting in the hallways, it kind of was getting old.

“Do you guys ever stop playing that shit?” you looked over your shoulder to see Dwight’s eyes glaring out at you and you held your hands up. “Right. Sorry. I forgot I’m not allowed to ask questions.”

Moving into the showers, you could feel the hot steam pressing in over your face and it felt good, yet a little bit overwhelming at the same time. It was so blistering hot out that you honestly would have just preferred a cold shower at this point. The other person taking a shower must have been around the corner and you really didn’t feel like having some stranger walking around to see you naked. Maybe if you just went in the opposite corner, you could take a fast shower and be done before them. Or the wall that was blocking the two sites could possibly help block you.

Obviously there were others things in the world to be paranoid about, but you didn’t really enjoy the idea of other people seeing you completely naked. Reaching for the bottom of your shirt, you went to pull off your tight clinging, wet t-shirt before hearing the sound of the person on the other side of the shower walls humming something. The tone of the voice sounded extremely familiar as you moved toward the steam that was coming from the other side. Stepping forward, you moved around the corner and saw in the far corner of the room Negan caressing shampoo into his hair.

Gulping down, you could see that he was surrounded by the steam, but not nearly enough to hide his toned body from your sight. Your heart hammered in your chest as you looked over his muscular shoulders and long back toward his extremely toned, small bottom. Perverted or not, you couldn’t take your eyes away from his beautiful backside. His long legs, large back and gorgeous ass was hard to look away from.

“Jesus Christ,” Negan looked over his shoulder and caught you staring at him almost scaring you as much as you obviously did him. “You little peeper. Trying to get a look at me naked without having me know how desperate your little ass is to see it?”

“No, I was just…” you watched Negan turn to face you and you went silent. You were going to defend yourself. Be honest. You were just given your time to come in and shower after working for the day. It was the honest to God truth, yet, it was also true that he did catch you staring at him. Yet, when he turned to face you, it was like your brain turned off completely as you saw him standing before you completely naked. His body was sudsy from the soap and the shampoo that he had been using, but you realized you were staring again. “Uhm…”

The first day you made a comment about him lacking because of him having all of his wives was very clearly off. He was quite large and he wasn’t even hard. Gulping down, you raised your head and met his very large, cocky smile. His dimples were very much showing and he pushed his fingertips through his wet, slicked back hair.

“You like what you see?” he rumbled, his voice low and deep as he stepped in closer to you. Your cheeks were blushing over and the closer he got to you, the harder and faster your heart pounded. You attempted to answer, but all of your words were caught up in how uncomfortable, yet extremely turned on you were at the sight of him. “I’ll take that as a fuck yes.”

“I need a shower…” you muttered finally and he nodded slowly. There was hardly any space between you now as he reached his large hand out to wrap it around your wrist. His tongue slid in over his bottom lip before he urged you in closer to him.

“You are a bit of a dirty girl; I think you need some fucking help getting cleaned…” Negan pulled you in close to him, almost making you fall forward into his chest. Not that you were complaining. “I think I might need your help too because I’m a little dirty too and no matter how hard I try, I just can’t fucking seem to get myself clean.”

“I don’t think…” you were trying to tell him no, but as you felt him reaching for the bottom of your shirt and pulling it above your head, any reasoning went out the door. Your body was on fire and you were slightly trembling, but it was obvious he turned you on more than you could even have imagined.

He dropped your shirt in the corner of the showers and reached out to trace his rough fingertips over your ribcage making you let out a small whimper. His grin expanded before he reached out to roughly tug you in closer to his body. You fell in against his chest as he pulled you toward the shower that he still had running.

“We do have a shit ton of catching up to do, don’t we?” he chuckled claiming your lips in a forcefully kiss while his hands were quick to push your jeans from your body and down your legs.

Stepping out of them, you were eager to have him touch and kiss you again as his lips pressed in over the side of your neck. His salt and pepper colored stubble teased over your skin and sent chills up and down your spine. At first you would have been terrified to have him touching you like this, but as of late it was all you could think about. Since he had touched you like he did the other night, all you could think about was that very moment. His fingertips were reaching clumsily for the back of your bra and you clearly seemed a bit nervous at the idea of him seeing you fully naked.

“Baby doll, I changed your clothes the other night…I’ve seen every fucking inch of you. I wouldn’t be ashamed. You make me so fucking hot…” he slurred as his mouth lowered to your shoulder, biting into the skin and you allowed him to pull the material away from your body. Hearing it drop to the floor, you could feel that his hands were quick to press in over your breast, caressing it in his large hand. His other hand hazardously pushed into your panties managing to get them down your body in a quick movement. “You’re making me fucking hard as hell darlin’.” 

“I can tell,” you breathed feeling his impressive length pressing in over your hip and you let out a tight whimper. You wanted to pounce on him. You wanted to give yourself to him and while you still had your reservations, you wanted to feel him inside of you, touching you. 

His left hand slid in over your bottom, palming the flesh in his hand before squeezing softly. Biting at your bottom lip, you could feel every muscle in your body tightening as his lips traveled down the side of your neck and toward your breast. He pressed, hot, wet kisses over your breasts before sliding his tongue out over your nipple, teasing his tongue over the taut flesh before sucking gently. 

“Negan,” you purred, digging your fingertips into his wet hair, tugging softly at the hair before feeling him quickly spinning you around and slamming you against the wall. The water from the showerhead poured down over the both of you as he reached up with his large hands to cup your face before moving into kiss you again. “I want you so bad…”

“Fucking show me…” he growled against your lips, nipping over your bottom lip and tugging softly. A groan escaped the back of your throat as you eagerly reached up to caress over the center of his chest before lowering your caress down his abdomen. “It’s alright. You can touch me…”

Gulping down, you lowered your head to look at his thick, engorged length and you reached out to wrap your palm around his body. A deep moan escaped his lips as he leaned his head forward and rest it against the side of your shoulder. Caressing over his body in slow, careful strokes you could feel his breathing getting heavier against the side of your neck. His left hand reached up to grip tightly at the base of your throat and you gasped, but it didn’t scare you. You liked it when he grabbed you like that. 

“Fuck…” he groaned against the side of your ear before nipping at your earlobe. His hips were eager to meet the motions your hand had over him as growled against your skin. “I want to fuck you so bad darlin’.” 

His body was rock solid in your palm and while his length intimidated you, you still knew that you felt the same. You wanted him, just as bad as he clearly wanted you. 

“Harder…,” Negan demanded and you complied. You tightened your grip and pumped faster over his cock, starting at the base and pulling up toward the top before twisting your grip down again. Nothing at this point was sexier that the sounds he was making as you pleasured him. “Is this for that shit you pulled the other night?” 

Nodding, you saw him meet your gaze and he smiled. It was a dark smile, but God he was so damn sexy. His free hand gripped at your hair, pulling it back tightly and you winced as he pressed rough kisses over your jawline. 

“Who do you belong to?” Negan hissed, biting down on his bottom lip as another groan escaped his lips. You didn’t answer and as his grip tightened on you, you knew he wanted to hear an answer. “I asked you a question. Who do you fucking belong to?” 

“You…” you whispered and you tried to move in to kiss him, but he kept you far enough away that you couldn’t. “Negan. I belong to Negan…” 

“Good girl,” he breathed, finally releasing his grip long enough to allow you to move in to kiss him. His tongue graciously caressed in over yours, torturing you with its perfect caress and you could hear his groans getting heavier. “Damn, baby girl…” 

“Negan…” the sound of Dwight’s voice spilled into the showers as every muscle in Negan’s body tightened and he let out an unpleasant sound. Negan looked over his shoulder making eye contact with Dwight and it was clear that he was irritated. “Sir, we need to talk.” 

“Not fucking now D, kind of in the middle of something,” you heard Negan hiss out and he still had a firm grip over your throat. The first thing you wanted to do was run when you heard the sound of Dwight’s voice press into the showers with the two of you, but Negan wouldn’t let you move. “So if you could piss the fuck off…” 

“There has been a breach at one of the lookouts Negan. They caught some stragglers…” Dwight seemed desperate for Negan as his grip on your throat slowly released and you could see Negan roll his eyes. 

“I have men to get shit done, yet they still come running to me like fucking babies when things need to get done,” Negan informed you with an angered expression as he looked down at his swollen member. “D, you’re kind of leaving me with a set of blue balls here.” 

“I just…I don’t know how long they can hold them off without us,” Dwight was looking down toward the ground, clearly trying not to disrespect Negan. Or hell, he was uncomfortable. Who knew, but as you watched Negan rinse himself off completely, you knew that he was leaving. 

“Of course they can’t do shit without me,” Negan moved before you and reached out to nudge the side of your face with his rough fingertips. “I’ll come back to you later tonight when shit gets done. You’ll help me get that fucking release that I’ve been extremely eager to get from you.” 

Nodding, you watched him move toward the door again and reach for the towel that Dwight was holding up for him. Negan looked over his shoulder at you and winked before leaving. Your body was still shaking. If he would have tried taking you right then and there, you would have let him. Now you weren’t quite so sure if that was a great idea or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Negan hasn't got his way with the reader, not quite yet.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan keeps his promise and returns to the reader after business is finished.

The sound of music blasted through your ears making you shoot up in the center of your bed. Your heart was hammering in your chest as you looked forward to see Negan standing in the corner of your room making you let out an angered breath when you saw him holding a music player in his hands. It was the same damn song that you were complaining about earlier and you could see by the wicked smile over his lips that he knew you hated it.

“You asshole,” you snorted with a yawn seeing him turn off the music player and set it down on the ground next to the door. Sitting up in the bed you watched him move across the room and take a seat at the bottom of your bed.

“Well, I heard that you loved that song so much, I figured I would just come and enhance the mood with it,” Negan responded reaching up to unravel the red scarf that he wore around his neck. He tossed it on the ground next to your bed before reaching for the single glove that he wore. “What the fuck are you doing sleeping this early anyway? I figured I’d find you downstairs with the rest of the crew.”

“I was tired. I’ve been working really hard lately and figured I would get the sleep in while I could,” you rubbed at your tired eyes seeing his eyebrows perk up before he nodded and tossed his glove on the floor by his scarf. He reached to unzip his leather jacket and you stretched out your tired muscles. “Did you guys fix whatever was going on?”

“I dealt with that shit, yeah,” Negan seemed to avoid the situation a bit as he turned to look at you and shrugged. “Did you get to finish that shower we started?”

“As well as I could…” you answered in an awkward tone catching the way that his hazel eyes were gazing out at you. You nervously moved up from the bed and moved toward the kitchen area hearing him getting up and following you. “Can I ask you something?”

“Within reason,” he grumbled from behind you and reached his right arm out to wrap it around your waist possessively. He pulled you roughly back against his chest and made you whimper out when he leaned down to nip at the side of your neck. Your body craved him badly and the heat radiating from his chest against your back drove you wild. “What’s on your mind?”

“Your wives…” you whispered while managing to move out of his arms to turn and look at him with a frown. “Do you sleep with all of them?”

“Of course I do, they are my wives…” he reached out for you again and you blocked him from touching you. A frown pressed in over his handsome features and you gulped down uneasily. “Why? Are you interested in being one of them now? Having me pamper you? Not having to work around The Sanctuary?”

“My answer to that is still very much no,” you watched him laugh and nod before slowly pulling his jacket off his shoulders. He tossed it over where the rest of his clothing was before turning to face you again. “Why are you still so interested in me then?”

“Oh, come on. Don’t be jealous,” he made a small tisking sound as he reached out to slide his hands in over the side of your hips. His caress was soft, but still very possessive as he carefully pulled your hips in closer to his. “You saw earlier, there is plenty enough of Negan to go around…”

“You are so damn charming until you say stuff like that,” you snickered reaching out to push your fingertips into the center of his chest. There was a mischievous smile over his handsome features, but you couldn’t help yourself in being jealous. He was so eager to sleep with you, but he still had…lord knows how many wives.

“Yet you still find yourself extremely fucking attracted to me,” he whistled as you moved around him and he sighed heavily. He moved over toward the leather couch and dropped down on top of it in a heavy drop. He looked up at you with an expecting glance before motioning you to move in closer to him. His finger wiggled in the air beckoning you closer to him in the same exaggerative tone he always had. “If you aren’t going to marry me…then I guess you will just have to be the mistress then.”

“The mistress?” you mocked his words and he nodded proudly. He actually liked the idea of all of this. It wasn’t something you were big on, but something inside of you was wildly attracted to him. Moving forward, you stepped before him on the couch and saw his tongue sliding out over his bottom lip, slicking it over. “Kind of cheesy.”

“Kind of fucking sexy if you ask me,” he winked and slid his large hands up over the sides of your body before curling around and gripping at your bottom. He palmed over the flesh and pulled you in closer to him as he sat on the edge of the couch. “My sexy little mistress…”

“Negan…” a breath escaped your lips as you could feel his lips pressing in over your abdomen through the thin material of the shirt you were wearing. A growl escaped his lips while he palmed over your flesh again causing your legs to tremble.

“Sit on my lap,” he demanded against your body before looking up at you with an expecting glance. “Don’t make me tell you twice.”

Nodding, you carefully moved forward watching him get more comfortable before you lowered yourself over his lap on the couch. Your legs were resting on each side of him as he rest his head back against the couch and looked up at you with a cocky smile.

“Good girl,” he grunted, palming his hands in over your bottom again before tipping up to tease his lips in over yours. That may have been your favorite thing that he did up to this point. You liked kissing him and you liked kissing him a lot. You craved to kiss him like this, but were afraid to admit it. His kiss felt so gratifying every time he did it. “Now where did we leave off earlier?”

“I think whatever happens now, would be very different than then,” you laughed against his lips, reaching up to cup his rough jawline in your palms. Caressing over his stubble covered face, you tipped in closer to nip at his bottom lip and tug softly. “Dwight seemed really uncomfortable when you were leaving.”

“I could give a fuck less what Dwight felt, that little shit made me leave in pain,” Negan rumbled with a groan as his hips arched up into you. His palms slowly urged your hips over his body as you felt him urging you to grind over him and you let out a small moan. “You on the other hand…I couldn’t fucking stop thinking about. Were you dreaming about me when you were sleeping?”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” your fingers slid into his hair and you tugged on it, urging him closer to your mouth as you were eager to kiss him forcefully. You shouldn’t have wanted this as much as you did, that’s one thing you knew for sure. “You hide too much of your sexy body under that clothing.”

“That should make you feel fucking special. You’re one of the special ones…” Negan groaned against your lips as you grinded in harder over his lap making him look down for a moment. Leaning forward, you nipped at the side of his neck and could feel his grip on your bottom tightening. You squirmed against his caress, trying to keep up with his motions.

“How special?” you purred in his ear hearing his laugh fill your ears before his right hand slid up your body and toward your breast, cupping it softly. “I can’t be that special if you are married to multiple women.”

“You’d be fucking surprised,” his deep voice informed you with a wide smile as your fingertips reached out to grab his shirt. Bunching the material at the center of his chest, you took your free hand and reached up to caress his hair dusted abdomen, tracing over the hard lines of his body. The warmth of his skin felt amazing against your palm and he reacted to every touch causing you enjoy this all the more.

“What did you have on your mind for tonight?” you whimpered into his mouth as his lips met yours. His right hand was still caressing and palming over your breast. Your hand slid in over the back of his neck and you felt something sticky at the base of his neck. Backing away, you pulled your hand up and looked to see the dark crimson over your fingertips. His eyes met yours and a frown pressed in over his lips when he saw you quickly get up from his lap. “You killed someone again tonight didn’t you?”

“Really?” he huffed, tossing his hands up in the air as you felt your heart hammering in your chest. You let yourself open up to him and trust him, but he clearly did tonight what he had done to the member of your group. “This is what you want to talk about right now?”

“There are better ways of doing things Negan,” you blurted out watching him roll his eyes and stand up from the couch. He moved over toward the sink to grab a washcloth and wet it before wiping at the back of his neck to clean what he clearly had missed. “Negan! The way you kill people is wrong.”

“Listen; don’t let my affection for you confuse you in what is going on here. You don’t tell me what to do,” he snapped at you, looking over his shoulder at you with an angered glance. “What the hell do you expect me to do? These people attack my men. My people are getting hurt. I’m the leader here, what kind of leader would I be if I didn’t make an example out of these people?”

“But you aren’t always killing the people that deserve it. You kill innocent people Negan, I’ve talked to others and…” you were interrupted by the motion of him throwing his hands up in the air to silence you.

“I have to make a point to the people that want to attack us. I give them protection. I keep people from hurting them. I give them a trading system that…”

“You protect them as long as they don’t fuck with you,” you snapped at him and he tilted his head to the side, clearly not appreciating your back talk to him. He stepped closer to you, only leaving a few inches between the two of you. He towered over you, but you weren’t going to act intimidated of him. Negan was very good at entering someone’s personal space and making someone feel uncomfortable.

“You knew what I was. You knew what I did. You knew all of this and still you wanted me,” Negan stepped forward making you corner yourself against the door to the room. “I just think your scared of opening yourself up to me because once you’ve fucked me, you can no longer lecture me on what is good or bad. You’d be a hypocrite because you sleeping with me…that means you like who I am. All around and that fucking terrifies the shit out of your pretty little ass.”

There was a silence between the two of you as he nodded and licked over his bottom lip before biting at it with his teeth.

“Tell me I’m fucking wrong,” he growled, reaching for your hands and slamming them up against the door. The motion made your body quiver, but not in a bad way. A gasp fell from your lips when he pressed himself further up against you and your breathing got heavy. “You can’t say that shit because you know I’m right. You’ve wanted me from the first moment you were brought in this very room. You were just too scared to actually admit it.”

Saying nothing, you just stared up at him before feeling his mouth meet yours in a strong, intense kiss. His stubble brushed against your soft flesh making you whimper into his mouth, allowing your lips to part for his tongue to brush up against yours. Your legs eagerly wrapped around his waist when he reached down to push you further up against the door. The bold caress of his tongue was enough to drive you wild with anticipating for what he had planned.

“You drive me fucking crazy,” Negan admitted with a tight growl as your fingertips tugged throughout his hair and he stumbled around the room. He dropped you on top of the shaky table they had in your room and you winced. His hands quickly reached your shirt, pulling it up your body before tossing it to the ground in a hurry. Your hands eagerly pulled apart his belt and fumbled a bit while his lips forcefully caressed over yours. “Who do you belong to?”

“Negan,” you breathed without a thought and he pulled away from you with a smile motioning you forward.

“Are you grateful for what I’ve done for you?” he bit on his bottom lip and you nodded following him back toward the couch. Negan dropped down, his legs wide open and apart as he bit down on his bottom lip. “Prove it.”

“Yes sir…” you dropped down on your knees before him seeing him lowering himself further on the couch as you reached up to caress over his toned thighs through the denim of his pants. Sliding your hand up further, you palmed in over the center of his pants reaching out his erection, tracing over it softly through the material. “Did the big guy miss me?”

“Oh, I knew there was a dirty fucking girl in there somewhere,” Negan spoke as if he was proud of your dirty words and you reached up to unhook the button in his pants before quickly pulling down his zipper.

“Up…” you ordered tugging at the top of his pants as he lifted his hips for you allowing you to pull the material down his long legs. Stopping for a moment, you pulled his boots from his feet hearing him laugh as you almost fell over while taking off the second boot. “You think that’s funny?”

“Little bit,” Negan helped you get the pants from his body and you hastily threw them to the side before crawling between his legs. Caressing up and over his toned thighs, you could see him biting into his bottom lip watching you intensely as you traced his length through his crimson colored boxer briefs. He reached his right hand out to palm in over the side of your face before sliding his thumb in over your bottom lip. Opening your lips for him, you sucked over his fingertips hearing him let out a tight groan. “You sure have a pretty little mouth, you know that right?”

Feeling him pressing two of his fingers between your lips, you sucked over them in a teasing and tempting motion. His tongue slid out over his bottom lip and you reached up to grab a hold of the hem of his boxer briefs, slowing pulling them down. He pulled his fingers away from you, dropping his hand over toward the side of your neck before aiding you in closer to his lap. Your lips followed the motion of you pulling down the material, your tongue flicking against his heated flesh. His groans filled the air and while you were interested in teasing him, you knew he was eager by the way his hips arched up further toward you.

Pulling the material of his boxer briefs down quickly toward his knees, you watched his hard body spring free from the prison it was behind making you gulp down heavily. Your heart was hammering in your chest and you were nervous, but at the same time…eager to please him. Reaching out, you wrapped your palm around the base of his manhood and the sound that erupted from the back of his throat excited you all the more. Caressing up and down his throbbing length, you watched him rest his head back against the couch and could feel his fingertips hooking into your hair. Taking it as encouragement you leaned in closer to his lap tracing your tongue along the underside of his impressive length. Tracing the lines of his body with your tongue, you could feel his hips arching up to you and you tried to keep some kind of control between the two of you.

He lowered his head to stare out at you with his lust filled hazel eyes and you knew what he wanted. Grabbing a firm hold of his cock, you wrapped your lips around the tip of his body and heard the moan that escaped his lips when your warmth surrounded him.

“Fuck. Good God, baby girl,” Negan urged the movements of your head over his body and you tried to comply with his wishes, opening your throat as much as you could while sucking over his length. Your hand still caressed firmly over the base of his length and you looked up at him. His chest was rising and falling heavily while he watched you closely. The feathery strokes of your tongue seemed to be driving him wild with the sounds he was making. “Good girl.”

His hips eagerly met the motions of your mouth over him and his urgings were a bit more powerful as he led your mouth over him at a certain speed. Pulling your mouth away, you heard him whimper in almost a desperate moment as you shook your head and caressed your palm over his slick body. Teasing your fingertips over the head of his body, you leaned forward to press a soft kiss against his inner thigh hearing him groan.

“Patience,” you purred hearing him huff heavily and you smiled. The fact that you were the one teasing him right now made this moment so much better. “I thought that’d be at least one thing you had Negan.”

“I’ve been aching all fucking day long,” he reminded you with his deep voice echoing in your ears and you smiled. His fingertips caressed throughout your hair before grasping tightly. “You like being mine. Don’t you? You like being my dirty girl?”

“Yes,” you answer feeling him tugging you up to your knees as he grabbed a tight hold of your jaw. His other hand grabbed the base of your throat as he leaned forward and flicked his tongue out over your lips making you let out a tight breath. His tongue traced long lines over your bottom lip before pushing between your lips to tangle with your tongue.

“Then show me what a good girl you are,” he growled against your lips, nipping at your bottom lip and tugging on it in a seductive manner. “You know what I want.”

“Well, you better let me give it to you then,” you whispered leaning in to kiss him again, flicking your tongue over his before pushing your hands firmly into the center of his chest, pushing him further back against the leather couch. He let out a tight breath as you lowered your head back down to take him into your mouth again. Your tongue twirled around his tip, enjoying the taste of him as he arched his hips up into your mouth further.

“Shit…” he groaned as you suctioned your lips around him, trying to give him the release that you knew he was yearning for. Your fist pumped over his length in a tight grip while your mouth sucked over his head making his deep groan fill the air. “Fuck. That’s it…”

Closing your eyes, you could feel him gripping onto your hair again, his hips forcing upwards again and again into your mouth. His breathing increased, his winces filling the air as you closed your eyes feeling the start of his release in your throat. You were eager to taste him and help him reach the peak of his orgasm as he gripped at the back of your neck tightly.

“Fuck…” Negan’s deep voice filled the air and he seemed breathless as you continued to pleasure him until the very end of his release. Slowly pulling away, you licked your lips uneasily as lifted his head lazily from the couch and nodded.  His chest was flexing and his stomach still contracting before relaxing showing that he was still heavily reacting to his release. “Your mouth is fucking incredible.”

Gulping down, you couldn’t believe that you had just given Negan a blowjob, but you didn’t exactly regret it. It just wasn’t something that you ever thought you’d be doing the first day you met him.

“I’m so fucking glad we found you,” Negan leaned forward on the couch and cupped your face in his oversized hands, tracing his rough fingertips over your slightly swelled lips. “God, you are fucking beautiful.”

Negan slowly stood up and pulled you to your feet before reaching for your pants, urging them down your legs hastily before pushing you toward the kitchen table. He forced you face down on top of it before carefully kicking your legs open and standing between them. His right hand reached down to trace over your core through the material of your panties and you whimpered against his aggressive touch.

“You want me to fuck you now? Give you the same kind of release you gave me?” Negan bit at your earlobe, his fingertips pushing at the material of your panties to push them aside as he pressed his fingertips quickly into you. He pushed them back and forth hastily making a cry escape your lips while his mouth trailed lines over the side of your neck. “Do you want my big cock inside of you? Or would you prefer my mouth between your thighs?”

“I don’t care,” you whimpered against the table feeling his lips lower to caress between your shoulder blades. “I just want you.”

“Oh, you got to be a little bit better than that,” Negan teased with a laugh and he pulled his fingers from your body causing you to whine against the motion. You could feel his rough fingertips grasping a hold of the top of your panties and you could feel his lips caressing over the small of your back. “I know you’ve got in inside of you to tell me what you want.”

Your eyes snapped shut tightly as you felt him pulling the material of your panties down toward your thighs and almost immediately after he smacked softly over your bottom. The vibration made a whimper escape your lips before he did again and you squirmed before him on the table.

“I just want you,” you pleaded feeling his mouth pressing in over the area that he smacked before palming in over the underside of your bottom.

“You just want me?” his words vibrated against your skin as you could feel his fingertips tracing over your wetness again making you let out a sound of desperation. His voice was deep and he was torturing you with his caress before plunging his fingers inside of you again. The forcefulness of his fingers caused you to clutch the table tightly as he let out a moan. “Jesus you are so fucking tight. You don’t care what I do as long as I just focus on you, huh?”

“Yes,” you panted feeling him straightening up behind you and grabbing a tight hold of your hips. You could feel him smiling against the side of your neck and your legs were trembling against his touch. “You can have me.”

“I can have you?” he repeated your words again with a laugh before pulling his fingers out of your body and you almost expected him to replace his fingers with his erection, but all you felt was him moving away from you. “No.”

“No?” you whimpered feeling your body trembling from what he had already started inside of you. You rose up from the table and looked back to see him grabbing his boxer briefs, pulling them on slowly as you fell back against the table. Reaching for the material of your panties, you pulled them up and watched him with a frown. “What do you mean no?”

“I told you…you’d be begging me to fuck you,” Negan pointed out with a wide, cocky smile and he shrugged. “I don’t know, just telling me that I can have you…doesn’t quite fit the fucking bill. You know what I mean?”

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you watched him grabbing his pants and he shook his head. It was almost like he was proud of himself as you looked around the room. “Please?”

“No…” he shook his head and finished pulling his pants together before moving across the room to reach out to cup your face in his hands. “Consider this as punishment for questioning my actions…plus, I think you can beg me a little bit better than that.”

“Negan,” you frowned realizing that he was doing this because you questioned him on killing the guy tonight. “But I just…”

“Oh, I know what you did and it was fucking fantastic,” Negan nodded, sliding his tongue over his bottom lip before shrugging his shoulders. “I can’t fucking wait to see what you’re like when we fuck, but…you haven’t begged me for it enough. I told you the first day we met, you’d be begging me for it and I’m going to hold you to it.”

You couldn’t say anything, hell; you didn’t know what to say. He pressed forward and kissed you heavily, his tongue tracing long lines over yours before he moved toward his clothes to pick them up. He pulled his t-shirt on, but left the rest of his clothes off. He held his boots in his right hand and the rest of his clothes were bunched up in his left hand.

“You are fucking fantastic, don’t worry about that,” Negan winked heading toward the door and you almost were hoping he was joking. “And I can’t fucking wait until we do this again, but it’s going to have to wait.”

“When will I see you next?” you were almost desperate for his attention as he knocked on the door and clearly they had the doors locked with someone waiting outside. “Negan?”

“Oh you know, at some point,” Negan was proud of himself as he shrugged his shoulders. “Maybe by then, you will have some good begging to do.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Reader is able to get some payback on Negan....

It had been over a week since you were last with Negan and while you understood what he was doing, you didn’t quite like it. You had tried to approach him several times, but Simon or Dwight was always there to let you know that Negan was too busy. He didn’t have enough time to chat because he was dealing with things. Every time you were out of your room you would look for him, but only got lucky a few times in seeing him.

Today was another day that they had you working out in the dirt with the crops again. You were sick of not having that many interactions with anyone. Even The Saviors had pretty much left you alone. Even in a way, you kind of missed bickering with Dwight. It just seemed like since Negan was ‘punishing’ you, that he was punishing you in more ways than one.

Hearing the sound of the trucks arriving back at The Sanctuary, you raised your head to see Negan getting out of the front passengers seat of one of the trucks. He was laughing and talking loudly, swinging Lucille at his side. Gulping down, you stood up from the ground and pat your hands off on your pants. They were carrying things inside of the building and Negan had disappeared inside. Maybe if you got a chance to talk with him, Negan would know that you missed him and maybe he would make his way back to your room.

“You shouldn’t do that,” the woman that you were working with warned you as she looked up from the dirt that they were digging in. “You’re supposed to be doing what you are told.”

“Its fine,” your urged them with a firm shake of your head. Negan and you had a relationship that you didn’t think many people knew about. Or maybe they did, but Negan wouldn’t hurt you. You could tell by the way that he was with you that he wouldn’t hurt you. In not a very harmful way that was…

Moving toward the trucks, you looked to see that Negan was still inside and you moved inside to see that they were taking stock of what they had gotten. Negan was in the corner boasting about something that he had done as you moved over toward him. He was talking with a group and Simon was standing beside him. When you approached, Simon saw you first and he nudged Negan to alert him that you were there.

“Can we talk?” you saw Negan’s smile fade a bit and he got a bit serious when he looked you over. “Just for a second, this won’t be long.”

“Not right now, just get back to work,” Negan reached up with his free hand to press his hand over the back of his neck. He seemed tense and you could tell that a majority of The Saviors were watching them. “Just get back to work…”

“Negan…” you went to reach out to him when he turned away from you and you felt something knock you hard to the ground making a groan escape your lips when you looked up to see Dwight above you. His hand was over your shoulder and it was clear that he was the one that knocked you to the ground.

“What the fuck?” you heard Negan blurt out in an angered tone and you watched him lunge forward, taking Dwight down to the ground angrily. You looked to see that he had dropped Lucille on the ground and he was holding Dwight down to the ground, holding Dwight’s shirt in a ball at the center of his chest. “You don’t hurt women like that. You put your fucking hands on her again and I will shut that shit down. Do you fucking understand me?”

“You just…” Dwight nervously muttered out and you could see Negan shoot you an apologetic look while you slowly rose up from your back. Simon reached out to help you up and you felt his hand grasping yours tightly just in case Dwight knocked the wind out of you. “I thought she was coming at you and…”

“With what?” Negan snapped shoving Dwight down again before standing up slowly and you could see that his face was red with rage. “Touch her like that again and I swear to fucking God, you won’t like it D.”

“Yes sir,” Dwight nodded and it was clear that he was terrified of Negan, but when Negan turned toward you and put his back to Dwight, Dwight tried to look like a ‘bad ass’ again. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine…,” you assured him knowing that you should have never come over here in the first place. Simon still had a firm hold of you as you motioned him to let you go, you were fine, just a little sore since Dwight knocked you off guard. Reaching down you grabbed a hold of Lucille and saw Negan eyeing you over closely. His eyebrow arched up as you held Lucille up for him to grab. “Be more careful with Lucille. Next time, she might not take being dropped so nicely.”

Negan grabbed a hold of Lucille and took her back before you started moving off toward the area you were working. Obviously now wasn’t the time and you weren’t going to hang out around them any more than you had to.

“Hey,” you looked over your shoulder to see Simon chasing after you as you moved back toward the crops outside. He grabbed a hold of you and smiled. “You should have at least popped him one. Dwight can be a real bitch at times.”

“At times?” you saw him folding his arms out in front of his chest and you weren’t quite sure why he chased off after you. “What can I do for your Simon?”

“Listen, I like you. Not in a way that would interfere with you and Negan, which is why I’m telling you that if you want to impress Negan…he’ll be around in the office today. Some shit went down and if you just happen to sneak past me to talk to him, I’ll let you,” Simon offered with a proud smile and he shrugged his shoulders. “Only if the next time Dwight is an asshole, you punch him a good one for me.”

“Wouldn’t it be wrong for me to hit a Savior?” you muttered with a confused expression, a little confused as to why he was being so nice. “I thought that was against the rules here.”

“Ah, well…Negan makes the rules here. People earn what they get and I’m pretty sure Dwight just earned a good right hook,” Simon suggested stepping back toward the building and he nodded. “Just remember what I said.”

“Okay…” you weren’t sure how to respond as he nodded and reached out to pat you on the shoulder.

“You’re not half as bad as I thought you were going to be, you took that hit pretty good,” Simon muttered one last time before taking off in the other direction. “Just stick up for yourself a bit more, then you will fit in here perfectly.”

Fit in? Great. Now some of The Saviors thought you would fit in. Not exactly the first impression that you wanted to have considering how Negan handled things, but at least that meant Simon wouldn’t be giving her as much of a hard time anymore.

\------  
  
Sitting in the dining area, you looked up to see a few of The Saviors surrounding Negan’s office. Clearly there was something serious going on lately and while you understood that there were things happening, you still really missed Negan.

You could hear the people at the table you were at talking, but you weren’t really listening. You were just waiting to see Negan. Maybe he would notice you, hopefully he would. Simon had told you that he would let you in to see Negan, but you highly doubted that now was the right time since there were about five of them with Negan. On the other hand…

“Excuse me,” you got up from the table and moved for the stairs that led toward the second floor of The Sanctuary. Moving down the walkway, you could see Simon step forward and shake his head hinting that now wasn’t the best of times. “It’s fine.”

“Alright…” Simon stepped aside and you moved into the office and you could see a few of them surrounding Negan from where he was at the desk. His head was down as they were looking over some kind of map, but when you cleared your throat, Negan looked up at you with his confused hazel eyes.

“Boys…a minute?” you suggested as Negan smirked and stood up straight, setting Lucille on top of the desk as The Saviors looked to Negan. Negan licked his lips and shrugged his shoulders as they were clearly waiting for Negan to kick you out. “I need to talk to him.”

“Well, you fucking heard the woman,” Negan rumbled with his deep voice cracking as a few of them moved out of the office, but the last one to leave was Dwight. Before he left, he stepped before you and glared down at you. “Be nice D.”

“Yeah, be nice D,” you mocked him seeing him snarl a bit before moving around you and you reached for the door, closing it behind you and locking the door. Turning to Negan, he looked amused with his eyebrows arched up and a large smile pressed in over his lips.

“What’s on your mind there darlin’?” he slurred out as you stepped forward and grabbed a hold of the sides of his leather jacket that was open. Shoving him forward with all of your strength, his back hit the desk firmly and he grunted. “Fucking hell.”

“You’re a massive asshole,” you moved before him and the way he was looking at you was almost like he was proud of you for what you were doing. You weren’t normally this bold, but this is what Negan had made you into. Someone who craved him and yearned to have him.

“I know,” he reached up to grab a hold of your hips, his grip rough as he tugged you in closer to him. “Fuck, I thought that was something we all learned the first day we met.”

Grabbing onto his hair, you yanked him down and eagerly kissed him. It had been so long since you had felt his mouth on yours that you wanted him so much. You didn’t care how or when, you just wanted him now. His hands grasped at your hips when your mouth willing opened to his, allowing his tongue to press into your mouth. The warmth of his talented tongue pressing in over yours almost drove you crazy as it was. Tugging at his hair again, he groaned into your mouth and you eagerly suctioned over his tongue in return. 

“Damn baby girl,” Negan hissed when you pulled your mouth from his lips and desperately kissed over the side of his neck. You varied between nipping and licking over his heated flesh and it made him grunt out. Your fingertips clawed at the center of his chest through the material of his clean, white t-shirt and he grunted. “Whoa…hey, slow down.”

“I want you so bad,” you informed him with a desperate tone and you pushed your hands into his leather jacket, quickly urging it from his shoulders. It dropped to the floor in a thud and you could feel him picking you up in his arms. He stumbled across the room before slamming you heavily up against the wall making a whimper escape your lips before you eagerly wrapped your legs around his waist. He watched you to see if the slam affected you in any way, but it was clear that you were already used to his rough side. In fact, you craved it desperately. “I’ve missed you so much.”

“Oh yeah?” his eyebrow perked up before tipping forward to bite at your jawline making a whimper fall from your lips as his hips rocked into you. A groan fell from Negan’s lips and you tugged at his slicked back hair, making it messier upon your clutch. Somehow, he managed to reach up with his right hand and rip open the button down shirt you were wearing. A few of the buttons hit the floor and you gave him an angered expression. “What?”

“I don’t really have that many shirts to begin with, you know?” a frown pressed in over your lips and he smiled proudly before tipping down to press his lips against your flesh. He traced over your collarbone with his wet lips before looking up at you with a smirk.

“Like I couldn’t get you more fucking clothes,” his nose wrinkled when you grabbed a tight hold of his large jaw getting him to focus on you for a moment. His hazel eyes looked you over when you caressed over his pepper colored stubble and he bit down on his bottom lip. “You look better that way anyway…”

“Oh, so you’d be okay with the rest of The Sanctuary seeing me in next to nothing?” you mocked him and heard him growl in response. His forehead tightened and the wrinkles that developed over his skin was enough to tell you your answer. “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

“Don’t you have some begging to do?” he rumbled, his deep voice cracking as he spoke and a smile pressed in over the corner of your lips. He really wanted to hear you beg for this and it was extremely evident with everything that he had done to you. Negan twirled you around and moved over toward his desk, clumsily dropping you on top of it before pressing himself between your legs. “I think it needs to be pretty good.”

“I was thinking you might actually like it better if I told you specifically what I wanted,” you reached forward to grab at the neck of his shirt, tugging him forward so that he fell in closer to you. “I think you are the one in charge way too much.”

“I like being in fucking charge,” he hissed when he felt you biting at the side of his neck and he grabbed a hold of the base of your throat. He pressed you back carefully before shaking his head. “Unless of course you think you can do a better fucking job? I like things rough…”

“Really?” you feigned innocence with that information before feeling his hands ripping apart the rest of the material on the shirt that you were wearing. Grabbing a hold of the thick base of his throat, you pressed your thumb softly over the soft spot in his throat and saw him tip his head back. He let out a pleasured wince when you tightened your grip. “I think I’m fully capable of giving you a good time.”

“Oh, I’m very fucking aware of that,” he moved in to kiss you again, but you stopped him and shook your head. His brows tightened together when you motioned him toward his desk chair and you turned your body around on top of his desk. Draping your legs over the side of the desk, you reached for Lucille and carefully set her beside the desk, propping her against it. Negan’s hands were eager to help get the material of your torn shirt from your body before clumsily managing to get your bra off as well. “Let’s say I give you what you want…”

“You will,” you responded watching him drop down in the leather chair and you reached forward to grab a hold of his hair, pulling him in closer to you. Your lips captured his in a desperate kiss and you could feel his hands grasping firmly on your hips before slamming you down on top of the desk. A wince escaped your lips when you felt his right hand wrapping around the base of your neck while his left hand worked on unbuttoning your pants. “What about letting me get what I want?”

“This isn’t what you want?” his lips hovered over yours and you smiled at how desperate he was to be in charge of things. Tipping your head back, you felt him nipping at your jawline. His tongue flicked small lines over the flesh that he had been biting at before you felt him finally getting your pants undone.

“The other night…you mentioned your face between my thighs…” you whispered knowing that this wasn’t typically like you to be dirty, but you had something in mind and you weren’t ready to let go of the idea. A wicked smile pressed in over his lips and you could see that the idea you were asking him for that really intrigued him.

“What makes you fucking think you’ve been a good enough girl to deserve that?” Negan’s left hand moved up your body, tracing a line between the valley of your breasts before lacing his fingertips into your hair. His right hand gripped tighter around your throat and you whimpered out softly. “I suppose I could feel bad about what D did to you earlier.”

“So you do have a heart?” you mocked him with a laugh before feeling him sliding his tongue out over your bottom lip. Soon after, his tongue slipped between your parted lips and you were eager to have him taste you. His right hand released you and reached for your hips, tugging you to the edge of the desk.

“Tell me exactly what it is you want?” he pulled away, his warm breath pressing in over your kiss swelled lips. His tongue slid in over his bottom lip and a smile soon followed. “I will only do it if you tell me.”

“Take off my pants,” you were quick to answer and he nodded, reaching for the material and pulling them from your legs hazardously. He tossed the material aside before his fingertips traced in over your legs. His rough caress sent chills up your spine as his thumbs slid in over your inner thigh and traced over the sensitive flesh. His eyes were watching you closely before his head tipped down so that he could press rough kisses over the inside of your thigh making you whimper out. “Negan…”

“Yes darlin’?” his deep voice rumbled against your skin and when his hazel eyes met yours, you knew that you craved him more than you ever have. The soft caress of his lips over your skin against caused a fire to fuel inside of your body as you arched up your hips up to him. “What now?”

“Take the panties off,” you demanded seeing him smirk before nodding and reaching for the material of your panties, pulling them off in the same rough tug that he had used before. As soon as he was done, he sat down in the chair and reached for your hips pulling you closer to the edge of the desk and toward him. His smile was wide as he sat before you and stared out at you with an expecting glance. Damn it, he was sticking to his guns with you telling him exactly what you wanted. “Touch me, please.”

“Touch you where? Shit, you aren’t very good at this,” Negan teased with a snort and you dropped your head back against the table realizing that he was still torturing you with his actions. His hands slid up your body and caressed over your bare thighs before you raised your head to see him licking his lips again. “Baby, you are fucking gorgeous. You have such a perfect pussy…”

“Negan, just…” you gasped feeling him grabbing a hold of your thighs to push them further apart, bracing your legs against the sides of the desk chair. His rough fingertips pressed in over your folds testing your reactions to simply his touch and a whimper escaped your lips. “Negan, please.”

“I thought you weren’t going to beg, I thought you were going to tell me just exactly what you fucking want,” he reminded you, his eyebrows arching up and he was clearly amused with how flustered his touch could make you. “So fucking tell me what it is you want.”

“I want your fingers inside of me and I’d like your mouth on me…” you huffed out heavily feeling your cheeks blushing over as made a satisfied face before moving forward. His mouth pressed in below your navel, his tongue flicking teasingly over your flesh before his fingertips pressed deeper within your thighs making you arch your hips up eagerly. The ache that the tension he was causing was almost too much as he grunted against your skin.

“God, you are so fucking wet already. Your pussy has been aching for me, hasn’t it?” his middle finger teased in over your entrance, twirling around in a very slow manner before he finally pushed his into you making a cry escape your lips. His first motions were slow and drawn out and when your eyes met his you could see that they were heavy with intrigue. His caress was agonizingly slow, but it was clear that he just wanted to see what he could do to make you squirm. “Do you know how hard it has been for me not to throw you down and fuck the hell out of you?”

Gulping down, your head dropped back when he pressed another finger inside of you. His caress was rough, but still extremely slow as he searched out the spots that made you tremor. Gradually the speed of his fingers thrusting inside of you quickened and he licked his lips in what you were hoping was anticipation. Arching your hips up, you tried to urge him to quicken the movements of his fingers inside of you, but he pressed your hips back down on the desk firmly being very specific about keeping control of what was happening.

“You have to talk dirty to get me to do what you fucking want,” Negan slurred as his lips pressed in over your hip, his teeth nipping and tugging at your skin. A whimper escaped your throat as his long fingers curled up to hit a sensitive spot inside of you. Your heart was hammering from the torture that he was putting you through and you eagerly tried to move your hips against the movements of his fingers. “No, you don’t fucking listen. Tell me what you want.”

“I want your tongue on me,” you begged and his hazel eyes still stared out at you, his grin expanding when you let out a frustrated noise. “On my pussy. I want your tongue between my thighs. I want your mouth on my fucking pussy.”

“Ooo…” he moved in closer to your body, but instead of doing what you asked, he moved away for a moment to reach for the neck of his shirt and quickly pull it above his head. Tossing it aside, he moved forward and caressed his hands over your thighs again, pulling you up closer to him. “Hearing you talk like that really makes my cock throb, you know that?”

Watching him closely, you could see him sucking over his fingertips before reaching forward to trace over your body, putting a good amount of pressure over your clitoris making your writhe back on his desk. Over the last several minutes he had been learning the areas that made you react to him and now he was fully prepared. His caress was rough and quick, but soon he slid his fingers back inside of you before leaning in closer to press his lips over your inner thigh. His tongue traced long lines over your skin and you reached down with your hand to hook your fingertips into his hair. You were sick of him torturing you with his motions. He seemed to laugh at your reaction before doing as you pleased. When the dampness of his tongue pressed in over your warmth, it caused a moan to fall from your lips. His tongue flicked long, slow lines over your folds while his fingers plunged deeply within you.

“Mmmm,” his voice vibrated against your body causing a cry to escape your lips. Your right hand still stayed clung to his hair keeping him where he was. His tongue swirled in circular motions around your clitoris before suctioning his mouth around the sensitive flesh. The sensation of his stubble rubbing up against your sensitive body and the way that his tongue flicked over you was almost too much to handle as you heard him groan against your body. That alone sent a jolt of pleasure throughout your body and you began to rock your hips against the flicks his tongue had over you. The stroking of his fingers matched that of his tongue and it seemed like it was getting faster. Crying out, you could feel your chest rising and falling heavily while he continued his assault on your body. He pulled his head back for a moment and licked his lips, his dimples showing clearly when he looked up at you and met your gaze. “God, you taste so fucking good.”

“Negan,” your voice pleaded with him and he took the cue to go back to what he was doing. Your fingertips curled around the back of his neck and you could feel the slurping of his mouth followed by the flicking sensation of his tongue over you. “God.”

The consummate skill of his tongue over you was driving you crazy and your thighs began to tremble. Your back arched up from the desk and you could hear him growl against your flesh as his caress quickened over you. His wickedly talented tongue continued to pleasure you until you let out a heavy cry. A rush of warmth filled your body as you clung to his hair tightly, tugging on it as your hips arched into him. You shook with the clear release that he had just given you and your body was shaking as he pulled his head away and smiled. You could feel your body still contracting around his fingers that still pushed deep within you and you whimpered out.

“God damn…” Negan hissed looking out at you and his free hand reached up to caress over your breast in a possessive grip. “I’m going to fuck you so hard…”

“Wait…” you watched him stand up and start to pull his belt from the loops of his pants. Your body shakily moved up from the desk and you reached out to grab a hold of the belt. His hungry gaze met yours and you reached up to shove into his bare chest. The shove was enough to cause him to fall back into the desk chair and you crawled into his lap carefully.

“What are you doing?” Negan questioned watching you reach for his right hand and begin to wrap the belt around his wrist with the arm of the desk chair. He was cautious with the movement as your eyes met his and you shook your head. “I’m not big on the idea of being tied down…”

“Trust me…” your purred against his lips, kissing him eagerly while you made sure the grip of his wrist was down tightly. Reaching down, you grabbed your torn shirt that he had thrown off you earlier and reached up to go for his other wrist. He let out an uncomfortable noise as you tied down his other wrist to the chair and you smiled. “I promise, this is going to be good…”

“I kind of want to have some kind of control here. I get that it’s the first time you’ve…” Negan muttered with a frown before you reached down to quickly pull open his pants and grunted when you pushed your hand into his pants to reach out his solid length. “I don’t fucking think…”

“Shh…” you hushed him and it amused you that he no longer had that cocky smile over his lips. “Am I making you nervous?”

“Do I look nervous?” Negan’s eyebrow arched up as you tugged his pants open and pulled down the front of his boxers allowing his body to spring free from behind the cotton prison it was beneath. Your hand connected with his solid manhood caressing over it slow strokes. It was completely throbbing and you could tell that he was extremely eager to get to the point that had been building between the two of you since you had first talked. “You can do whatever you have planned, but when we get to the part where I’m fucking you, I want out of this…”

“Who said that’s what we were going to do?” you replied with a very low tone, your eyes meeting his as your grip released him and you saw a smirk press in over his lips. “I got what I wanted…”

“What?” he laughed and you slowly moved your body from his desk and he watched you closely as you reached for your panties, pulling them on before reaching for your pants. “Come on, okay…I get it. I fucking get it, very funny. Payback…I get it…”

“Do you?” you reached for his white t-shirt and pulled it over your body seeing the angry expression that pressed in over his features. “Maybe you can beg me to let you out…”

“Oh, give me a fucking break,” his words slurred as he tugged on his wrists and you watched him struggling extensively in the chair. “What are you doing? Come on…”

“I will see you later,” you moved toward the door and heard him slamming the chair. Stopping at the door, you watched him struggle and you shrugged your shoulders. “That was really fucking amazing though.”

“I’m not kidding…if you don’t let me out of here, you will regret it,” Negan warned you trying to keep his tone quiet and calm, but there was a rumble deep within that caused you to realize he was being very serious. “I’ve been nice about things, but I swear…if you leave…”

“I’ll see you later Negan,” you winked hearing him groaning out in frustration as he tugged heavily on his wrists. It was a good thing that you learned at a young age how to tie an extremely tight knot. “I’ll see you around sometime soon.”

“Fucking…wait…” Negan snapped as you unlocked the door and stepped out, quick to pull the door closed behind you. When you stepped out, you could see out of the corner of your eye that Simon was staring out at you with an odd expression.

Smiling, you nodded at him and headed back toward your room. There would be an obvious amount of punishment that you would get from doing this, but it only felt fair after everything that he put you through over the last week or so. Either way, you were going to head back to your room and wait for whatever it was that was going to come to you.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan finds the reader and deals his version of "punishment"...finally getting what he's wanted all along.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is kind of long, but I figured after the wait that maybe it was worth having it be drawn out.

Dropping back on your bed, you let out a long sigh and folded your arms out behind your head. After everything that took place, you went immediately back to your room. You didn’t know when or how long it would take before someone actually helped Negan out of the predicament that he was in. At the moment, you were still riding high off the pleasure that Negan had given you. Your body was still tingling and it was in all the right ways.

Looking down at the clothes you were wearing, you knew that you took his white t-shirt and left the torn material of your shirt around his wrist. Tying him up wasn’t originally what you had planned when you had gone to see him in his office, but the moment just came so smoothly and ready that you figured you would run with it.

You knew there would be repercussions to what you did, but at this point, it almost seemed like it may be worth it. You never thought that you would see Negan struggle and be okay with not being the one in control. The fact that you were able to break him down a notch or two really excited you. Negan wasn’t going to be happy. Hell, you could still hear him screaming at you when you had closed the door to leave his office earlier, but you were prepared to take whatever you had coming your way.

The loud sound of your door slamming open was heard and you jumped up on your bed to see Negan standing in the doorway of your room. Sliding back against the headboard, you could see his angry eyes staring out at you while his chest was rising and falling heavily. He had managed to put his leather jacket on, but it was open and he was shirtless underneath. Sweat was covering the center of his hair dusted chest showing that he was a little bit worked up. His pants were back together and he had put his belt back into his loops, but it was still loose and undone.

His whole appearance was disheveled and as he stepped into your room, his eyes seemed to get angrier and you held up your hands. His breathing was heavy enough for you to hear and while you weren’t extremely scared—the fact that he hadn’t said a word really scared the hell out of you. Negan always had a mouth full to say and the fact that he wasn’t made you realize how mad he actually was.

“Negan, hey…” you began to speak up only to see him lunging forward at you on the bed and you hopped off the bed before he could grab you. He seemed to stumble across your small room as you moved around to the opposite side of the couch. “I realize that was probably not the best of things to do, but what you…”

His eyes never left yours and you tried to move in the opposite direction when he made his way toward you again. You were using the couch as leverage, but you didn’t know how long that would actually work. His eyebrows tightened together, his dimples showing clearly as he bit down hard on his bottom lip.

“I think maybe you need to take a minute to think this out,” you grasped at the arm of the couch trying to plan out how you would get out of his reach. It would just be best to allow him to do what he wanted, but you weren’t quite sure that was the best outcome in this situation. “Realize why…”

“Oh, I’ve thought long and hard about it,” Negan climbed over the couch in a matter of seconds and before you could react you felt his strong arms wrapping around you, tugging you back toward your bed. He threw you down on top of the bed and quickly crawled in over you. His hands held your wrists down tightly while he sat in over your chest. He wasn’t rough enough to hurt you, but he was strong enough to make a point. “You really are a naughty fucking girl, aren’t you?”

Negan’s hair was a mess, his eyes intense and he was being rough and this was a different side of him that you had never seen. He reached down for the belt that you had used earlier to trap him in the desk chair. He pulled it out of the loops quickly before reaching for your wrists and you struggled against him.

“Don’t try to fight me,” Negan demanded your attention as he fussed with your movements for a moment, wrapping the belt around both of yours wrists. He pulled the belt together extremely forcefully before making sure it was tight enough. He tugged on it with his large hands before reaching down to grab a hold of your jaw. His grip was possessive and it was clear that he wanted you to know how serious he was about all of this. “You need to be punished for being a very…very bad fucking girl.”

“Negan…” you spoke up in a whisper and his nose wrinkled in response. He slowly rose to his feet and grabbed a hold of you. In a matter of seconds, you could feel him picking you up and throwing you over his shoulder. His right hand reached up to smack over your bottom making a whimper escape your lips as he moved for the door. “Where are you taking me?”

“No, you don’t have the right to ask me any questions right now,” Negan firmly responded before moving out of your room and toward his room. Looking around, you knew that people would see him with you. That his Saviors would know that you were about to be punished for what you had done. He quickly shoved open his door when he reached it and kicked it closed with his heel. He moved swiftly over to the bed and threw you down on top. Gasping out, you could see his hazel eyes looking down at you. His eyes were looking you over completely and it almost seemed like he was contemplating what he was going to do with you. “You are such a bad girl. You need to learn that shit doesn’t fly around here without getting punished.”

“You’re just flustered because you’ve never had someone take control of you like that,” you licked your lips and for the first time since you had seen him, he smiled and it was like he was amused with your bite back. “I think it just kills you that you got played back.”

“You think you’re funny, don’t you?” Negan’s deep voice questioned as he reached for you pants and opened them quickly. His rough grasp grabbed a hold of the material and tugged them down your legs before tossing it aside. “Get on your knees.”

You stared up at him with a confused expression in your eyes. His tongue drew out a long line over his bottom lip as he motioned you to move. Instead of listening, you stayed in the center of his bed and held up your hands to point out your wrists were tied together. Negan didn’t seem to want any of it as he forcefully reached out to flip you over in the bed onto your stomach. He pulled you to the edge of the bed and you could feel your feet barely touching the ground as he stepped in behind you. You could feel his hard erection pressed up against your bottom through the material of his pants and you smiled. Even after all you put him through, he was still solid and craving you intensely.

“I’m no longer going to make you beg for me to fuck you,” Negan slurred while his fingertips grabbed a tight hold of your hips. They dug into your skin forcefully and you winced when he slammed you further down against the bed. The forcefulness of his grasp would definitely leave a mark, but you were wondering if that was the point. His hand pressed in over the center of your shoulders before you could feel him moving away. “You’re going to be begging me for something else after what I’m going to do to you…”

Closing your eyes shut tightly, you could feel him pulling the material of your panties down your legs and you didn’t really know what to expect. That was until you felt the firm smack of his palm over your bottom making you whimper out. Trying to look over your shoulder at him, you could feel his free hand still pressed between your shoulders keeping you in place. His right hand caressed over the tender flesh of where he had just smacked your bottom and you held back a wince. Your flesh was stinging from his smack and you bit down heavily on your lip.

“Now I have to punish you like this,” he made a tisking sound as you tried to push yourself up, but the fact that your wrists were bound together made things so much more complicated. Another smack pressed in over your bottom and you whimpered out this time, hearing him let out a satisfied sound. Your body was reacting to this in ways that you didn’t think it could. Most people would feel shame with something like this, but not you. Not right now. “Something tells me that you actually enjoy this.”

“That’s because you’re crazy,” you muttered against the material of his bed hearing him laugh before landing another smack over your bottom. This time it caused you to jolt forward a bit before feeling him caressing over the warm, heated flesh again. Biting into the bed sheet, you tried to hold back a cry as you could hear his breathing increase.

“You’re going to learn where your place is,” Negan grumbled from behind you before feeling him pressing in over you from behind. His mouth pressed in over the back of your neck, kissing over the flesh before biting into the skin making you let out a cry. The firm grip of his palm was felt over your sensitive bottom as he kneaded the flesh in his rough fingers. It was like he was trying to caress over the sensitive flesh where he had just been ‘punishing’ you. “You’re mine and everyone is going to know it.”

“Oh yeah?” you whispered feeling his stubble pressing in over the side of your neck and your eyes slammed shut tightly. Sadly, you loved the idea of that. Being his. “Negan…”

“No talking,” he ordered moving you forcefully again so that you were on your back now. When he got you into the center of his bed, he moved over you again and grabbed a hold of his white t-shirt that you were wearing. Tearing at the material, you let out another aggravated sound. You were okay with him doing what he wanted, but it still killed you on the inside when he destroyed clothing. Clothes were extremely hard to come by in the zombie apocalypse. Especially nice, clean clothes. His hands worked to get the torn material off your body and you let out a tense sound. “You are going to do everything I tell you to do…or you’re not going to like it. The spanking will not be the worst thing I do tonight.”

“Oh yeah?” you retorted with a smirk feeling him tugging on your wrists before he managed to get them wrapped around the headboard from the belt. Looking up, you tugged on them firmly realizing he had you there pretty well. “What is it exactly you are going to punish me with?”

“Oh, I’m sure you can use your fucking imagination,” Negan got up from the bed for a moment, leaving you completely naked in the middle of his bed. You weren’t sure what to expect from him as he looked you over for a long moment.

You watched him pull off his boots and toss them aside before standing in front you. His posture changed as he gazed over your body and you suddenly realized how vulnerable you were right now to him. Yeah, you had messed around with him a bit before, but never to the extent of what you were expecting from him. The way he stood before you looking you over caused you to let out a tight breath. God, he looked so sexy standing over you, but at the same time absolutely terrifying.

The material of his jacket fell down his bare shoulders when he shimmied out of it and allowed it to fall to his wrists. He tossed it to the side of the room before reaching for his pants and pulling those off as well. He stood in front of you in his gray boxers before moving in over the bed. His toned body was contracting and relaxing when his breathing was heavy as he moved in over you.

“Darlin’…you have no idea what you got yourself into tonight…” Negan informed you with a proud smile as he tipped down to press his lips in over your breast. His tongue twirled around your nipple, teasing the taut skin before nipping at it causing a moan to fall from your lips. He tugged softly before reaching for your thighs and forcing them apart. Your body arched up from the bed toward him, a sigh escaping your lips until you felt your movement halted by how tight the belt was around you wrists. “You are going to be so raw by morning…”

You let out a loud gulp when his left hand found its way to the base of your throat. He squeezed it tightly before pushing your hips up against his thighs as he stay kneeled on the bed. His eyes watched you carefully before he tipped forward and kissed over your bottom lip. His tongue seemed to linger over your skin and soon after his teeth were nipping into your lip. He tugged on it with a growl before reaching down with his right hand to caress over your damp warmth.

“I’m going to get you prepared because I’m kind of a decent fucking guy. Not that you deserve it though…” his words rumbled against your lips and you could feel his index finger sliding between your lips testing how wet you still were. “From here on out, you belong to me. Completely and fully. No one else can ever lay claim on you like I’m going to tonight. You are fucking mine.”

Nodding, you felt him pressing his index and middle finger into you making you cry out. Tipping your head back you felt him leaning in closer to you to press his forehead against yours. His breathing was hot and heavy against your skin as he growled out. His left hand squeezed at your throat forcing you closer to him while his fingers plunged deep within you. This time his caress was fast and hard from the start and you cried out against his skin.

“Fucking say it,” he demanded, his hazel eyes staring into yours as he bit down on his bottom lip. “Tell me that you belong to me. Tell me how you are mine.”

Another cry escaped your lips when his tongue slid out over your lips, tracing them over in long, sensual lines. Your hips arched up to the movements of his fingers inside of you and it was like you were being slammed with all kinds of sensory overload. From the sensation of his fingers inside of you, to his other hand squeezing your neck and to his tongue over your lips. It was all driving you crazy and your body was on fire.

“Say it…” Negan’s grip tightened and his tone was very serious. The thrusting of his fingers were suddenly much more forceful and you cried out.

“I belong to you. I belong to Negan,” you informed him seeing the proud smile that pressed in over his sexy features.

“Good girl,” he hushed you with a shake of his head.

He nodded before pulling away from you. He got up on his knees on the bed and pressed his hands into his boxers, pushing the material down his toned hips. His body sprung free as you gulped down staring at his length. He was solid and he was probably aching even more than normal since you had left him tied to that chair. He managed to get the material from his body before throwing it aside and moving in over you.

“You look so fucking perfect like that, you know?” Negan reached his right hand up to suck over his fingertips for a moment before grabbing a hold of his body, stroking it softly as he looked down at you. “Tied up like that, your pretty little pussy in front of me…ready for me to fuck you.”

You wanted to say something back, but you were all out of smart remarks. This was it, this was for real. This was really going to happen and when you watched him moving in over you, you could feel your body tensing a bit. Your heartbeat was rapid and you were still nervous about this whole thing, but there was no going back and you knew that.

“You want to get it wet for me?” Negan looked down at his body as he squeezed his palm over himself before meeting your eyes again in a dark glance. Your tongue slid out over your bottom lip before nodding. It was painfully hard to continue to lay here tied up and not be able to move and touch him. While he carefully moved in over you, you could feel your heart hammering in your chest. In the moment you were so eager to please him and be his. The sensation of his left hand pressing in behind the back of your neck was felt and you tried to arch up as best as you could while he pressed his hips in closer to you. His right hand led his body toward your lips and you could feel him teasing the tip of his body over your parted lips. Giving him a moment to tease his body against the dampness of your lips took everything inside of you. It was obvious he wanted to drag it out because he was enjoying the sight of his cock pressing over your mouth. A crooked smile pressed in over his lips as your lips parted and you took the tip of him into your mouth. Twirling your tongue around the tip, you could hear his groan fill the air while his left hand still held you up closer to him. “Good girl.”

Tugging on your wrists, you tried to pull yourself up more, but did the best with what you could as you felt him pushing his hips forward to sink his length further back into your throat. Still looking up at him, you could see his hazel eyes shut tightly, his head tipping back as a deep grunt escaped his lips. His hips were thrusting back and forth slowly as he sank his length into your mouth.

Tears pressed in over the corner of your eyes as you tried to comply with his length, doing your best to please him without choking. Suctioning your lips around his body tighter made him let out a small moan and soon after he pulled his body from your lips and shook his head. With a quick motion, he moved down your body and was still on his knees above you.

“You haven’t apologized to me for what you’ve done…” his hands pressed in beside you, his chest hovering over yours as his lips teasingly slid in over yours. Small kisses were pressed against your skin before he lowered in closer to you. The sensation of his flesh pressing against yours was felt and a heavy exhale escaped your lips. “I’m surprised.”

“Why would I when it gave me this?” you explained, your eyes staring into his and your response made his hazel eyes widen a bit before his eyebrow arched up in awe of your answer.

“Oh, you say that now, but you are not going to be very happy with me soon,” Negan promised, his eyes narrowing before scooting in closer to your body. The rough pull of his hands over your thighs was felt when he urged your legs over the sides of his hips and you gulped heavily. Hell, he could tell that you were nervous, there was no hiding it. In fact, you realized the fact that you were somewhat nerved probably turned him on more. “I can promise you that…”

Watching him closely, you could see him reaching down with his right hand to grab a hold of his body again, stroking it slowly before pulling your hips up closer to him with his left hand. Exhaling heavily, you felt the sensation of the head of his body pressing against your lips while he teased his body over you. You didn’t know what to expect with him other than the fact that he was teasing you. He slid his body up and down over your warmth, his eyes never leaving yours as he waited for some kind of reaction. When the pressure of his cock slid in over your clitoris it caused a moan to fall from your lips.

“Oh, you really want this, don’t you?” Negan rumbled, his chest rising and falling slowly as a smile pressed in over his lips. He tapped his hardened body softly against yours and it caused you to arch up against him. “I’ve made quite the little monster, haven’t I?”

His body leaned forward over you and you could feel his thighs pressing in over the bottom of yours. His left hand grabbed a hold of the base of your throat while his right reached between the two of you. There was a bit of pressure as the tip of his body pressed in over your entrance making your eyes slam shut.

“No, no…I want you to look at me when this happens…” Negan demanded with a groan as you opened your eyes to obey him. “I want to see that pretty fucking face of yours…”

A sharp gasp escaped your lips when you felt his body penetrate yours. Your head tipped back, but you made sure not to take your eyes away from his as his jaw lowered in the movement. A moan escaped deep from within him as he braced himself over you with his right hand.

“Jesus…fuck,” he exclaimed as your body contracted around his. His hips pressed forward, pressing a bit more of his length into your body and he bit into his bottom lip. “God, you’re so tight…”

“Negan…” you went to say something, but his left hand released your throat and carefully reached over to wrap his fingertips around lips. He hushed you and shook his head before sliding his left arm around your hips to pull you up closer to him.

“There we go…” he pressed fully into you and your body tensed around him, your hips involuntarily arching away from him from the amount of pressure he had inside of you. His head tipped down, his forehead pressing in against yours as he started to slowly thrust his large body inside of you. “It feels like you were made just for me…the way I fit so snug in there…”

Tugging at your wrists, you wished that he hadn’t tied you up so you could cling to him. Hold him as he started to quicken the movement of his hips over you and you could feel his boney hips slapping up against your hips making you cry out. At first it was an uncomfortable pressure, but the more that Negan moved, the better everything began to feel.

“You are so fucking perfect,” Negan’s hot breath pressed in over your lips and you attempted to kiss him, only to see him shake his head. When you let out a frustrated sound, he chuckled and tipped in closer to tease his lips over yours. His tongue teased in over yours for a moment before he paused his movements and got up on his knees, his hands grabbed a hold of your thighs as he pulled you flush against him. “Oh, there is nothing fucking better than the sight of my cock inside of you…”

A satisfied noise escaped his lips as he started sinking his body deep within yours. He would pull out almost completely before slamming his hips back forward to sink it back in. The motions were slow and drawn out making you cry out every time he did it. His right hand reached out to press in over your clitoris, teasing your flesh as he continued his torturous movements inside of you. His fingers seemed to press in over you at the same tempo as his hips and you cried out.

“Please take me out of this,” you looked up at your hands that were still tightly tied to the headboard and he smirked. He said nothing while his caress still continued and his hips started jolting faster and harder inside of you. His grunts and groans were heard as you watched his body contracting with each forward thrust he made inside of you. “I want to touch you.”

“I don’t care…” he growled reaching for your right leg to pull it up and over his shoulder as he angled his body in a different position. The forcefulness was felt more distinctively as you threw your head back into the pillows. Whatever he had just done in changing the position made him find that hot spot inside of you and as soon as he knew he found it, he wasn’t going to stop. His thrusts were hard and fast, his body pressing up against your g-spot and you could feel your heart hammering in your chest. Your jaw was tightening and your body was clenching around him. “Almost there…let it happen…”

“Negan,” your voice cracked as you cried out his name and felt him slowing down his movements with a smile. He pulled his fingertips away from your body as he stayed still inside of you allowing himself to experience the sensation of your body contracting around him after you had your orgasm. “God…”

“Nah, he had nothing to do with this. Here is the deal…” Negan dropped your legs and pulled out of you making a cry escape your lips as he reached for hips to turn you over onto your stomach. The sensation of not having him inside of you felt awful. The very warmth of him inside of you felt more amazing than you could ever imagine. “That’s your one time that you get to cum. You don’t have an orgasm unless I fucking let you have one.”

“Negan, damn it,” you grumbled feeling him pulling you up to your knees and you could feel his hair dusted abdomen pressing in over your bottom. Trying to grab a hold of the headboard, you braced your hands as well as you could to stop you from falling over as you felt his hand slapping in over your bottom again. A cry escaped your lips before you felt his mouth over the small of your back, nipping at the flesh before moving in over you. He pulled you flush against his hips before feeling him pressing back into you making you cry out against the quickness. His chest was pressed up against your back and you could feel his mouth pressing hot kisses over your jawline before nipping at the skin. “Negan…”

“Shh…” his lips pressed in over your earlobe and you were tensed at first as he slowly rocked his hips back and forth behind you, allowing his body to enter you slowly in a teasing fashion before pulling back out. With each forward thrust that he made plunging inside of you, you felt him getting rougher with each motion and you whimpered out loudly. His fingers wrapped around the base of your neck, holding onto it tightly as he breathed heavily against your skin. “Do you fucking like that? Huh?”

“Yes,” you managed to get out; trying to rock your hips back against his. Your head lowered and your eyes slammed shut as you focused on the sensation of his manhood deep within you. The sensation of him starting to pound into you made your breathing increase and you could hear his grunts heavy from behind you. His free hand grabbed a hold of the headboard giving him leverage to give more power to his thrusts and you could feel your body tightening again.

“No…no…” Negan laughed against your earlobe as he pulled out of you and heard you cry out in frustration. His hand palmed in over your bottom before smacking over it again. Your body was aching and craving the release that he was building up inside of you. “I told you…not unless I say so. You can’t fucking cum.”

“You are such an asshole…” you mumbled hearing him laughing again before thrusting into you from behind. Crying out, you could feel his hips slapping up against you from behind. The sounds made you tense, but nothing felt better than the sensation of his body deep within you. Caressing you in ways you never pictured doing with him when you had first encountered Negan. “God, you are so big…”

“You’re really fucking tight…” Negan bit into the side of your neck again before reaching around the front of your hips to caress over your sensitive flesh again. It was like he was trying to torture you with the idea of cumming, but wouldn’t allow you the release. When he felt you clenching up, he would pull his fingers away or simply stop moving. “Not quite yet.”

“Jesus Negan…” you whined when he pulled out of you again and you could feel his hands caressing over your damp body. Negan traced small circles over the small of your back before his lips caressed over the flesh again. Letting out a yelp, you felt him bite into your bottom and heard him laugh at your reaction. Your body was aching and trembling, but he was just going to keep on teasing you and the more you begged for it, the less likely he was going to let you have it. “Would you please unhook me?”

“I don’t know, I kind of fucking like what we have going here,” his breath pressed in over your shoulder and he nipped at the flesh, hard enough to leave a mark, but you let out a satisfied sound instead of a whimper. His lips slid up toward your jawline before meeting yours in a long, drawn out kiss. “If you ask me nicely…maybe I’ll think about it.”

“I’ll do anything you want,” you begged hearing him laugh before reaching for the belt and he quickly unhooked it allowing your wrists to fall to the bed. They were a bit raw from the tightness of the belt, but you didn’t have long to think about it because Negan had flipped you over onto your back. Looking up at Negan made a breath catch in your throat when you saw the thin layer of sweat that pressed in over his lean body. His hand brushed into his hair to slick it back and you reached up to caress your hands over his wet abdomen. You were so very thankful that he gave you your hands back to be able to touch him. “I want you back inside of me…”

“Well who am I to keep you from what you want?” Negan laid in over you and you wrapped your arms around his shoulders.

Clinging onto him, you could feel his thick erection pressing back into you a deep sigh escaped your lips. It was amazing how fast your body warmed up to him and craved having him. The speed of his hips were fast, the plunging motioning his body made inside of you driving you crazy. Digging your nails into his shoulders made a heavy groan fall from his lips, but the smile that pressed in over his lips told you he liked it.

His brow tightened and you could feel your body tensing up against his when his forward thrusts got stronger and harder. Arching up your body, you clung to him and could feel the same tingling sensation he had built up inside of your earlier. Just when you had felt like you were about to reach that point that you had earlier, he stopped his motions and shook his head.

“Fucking hell Negan!” your voice cracked and you reached down to smack him in the thigh hating that he was torturing you like this. Your body felt like it was going to rupture and it made you feel raw. “You are awful.”

“Nah, I’m really fucking good. I just know you need to punished,” Negan snickered before you reached up to press your fingertips into his soaked, dark hair. “You’ve got quite the mouth on you…you know? Do you really want me to stop teasing your tight little pussy?” 

“I’m begging you Negan. I am very sorry for what I did, but I am begging you…” you trembled watching his eyes narrowing as you spoke and you tried begging him for what you want. “Please…fuck me.”

“There you fucking go, I’ve been waiting for that exact fucking phrase,” Negan licked his lips as he started moving his hips again, pounding into you with a force that caused you to cry out loudly. Wrapping your legs around his waist tightly, you clung to him, yearning to reach that point he hadn’t been allowing. The warmth of his mouth was felt over your neck as the sounds of his moans against your skin drove you wild.

“Negan!” you clutched at his hair feeling a rush filling your body and you tried pulling your body from him when you felt it all rush throughout you. Your body trembled and you clung to him tightly, feeling his teeth biting at your jawline. He forced you to stay where you were so he could experience your clenching body around his during your release.

“Mmm…you just made a damn mess all over me,” he nipped at your skin and you could feel your body weak as he picked up the movement of his hips again. Curling your leg tighter around his hips, you urged him to roll onto his back before you crawled in over him. He pulled himself up and wrapped his arms around your waist before urging your movements over his body. His face was serious and focused, his jaw clenched as you used the rest of the power you had in your body to ride his body. “Damn girl…”

Negan’s head fell forward against your chest, his breathing increased while you clutched at his hair, tugging on it as his groans got heavier… “Fuck.”

His head tipped back to watch you and you used your free hand to grasp at the bottom of his neck like he had done you. The clenching of his jaw and the way his torso was tightening alerted you to his release. Negan’s heavy moans filled the air as you halted your movements over him feeling a warmth pressing inside of you. His final cry out let you know he was finished and you felt his right hand reaching up to grab your wrist. Slowly, you pulled your hand from his neck and heard him let out an over exaggerated groan.

“Stay where you are…” he ordered, his eyes watching you closely before leaning forward to rest his head against your collarbone. Caressing over his shoulders, you took the time to let your body get relaxed in his arms as he held onto you. “You feel so damn good.”

“So do you,” you whispered, taking the moment to appreciate him holding you close. Smirking, you realized that he was right. Your body was definitely going to be raw and he made sure of that. “Though I do have a question…”

Negan fell back against the bed and pulled you in over his chest and you let out a small whimper when you felt his body pull out of yours. It had been so accustomed to him being there that it felt odd not having him there.

“Which one untied you?” you laughed seeing his brow tense before he rolled his eyes. “I’m picturing so many things in my mind and…”

“Simon,” Negan answered with a heavy breath as your hand caressed in over the center of his wet, hairy chest and he shrugged. “It’s not the worst thing he’s gotten me out of, so don’t get overly excited at the idea…”

“Oh yeah?” you chuckled feeling his arms wrapping around you tightly and you rest your head against the inside of his neck.

“Just be quiet before I have to punish you again,” he snickered with a tired breath and you could feel his fingers reaching up to squeeze at yours before you smiled. “Just know…now you’re mine.”

There was a silence that fell over the both of you before he let out another exaggerated noise, “And I’d still really like you be one of my wives. Not my mistress…”

“And I’m still going to have to go with no on that one,” you informed him with a small smile, patting him on the center of the chest as you lifted your head from his chest to watch him closely. “I highly doubt that would be as much fun as this is.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After waking up after the night with Negan, the reader is introduced to a character that isn’t too fond of Negan. Eager to see if Negan is what people claim he is, the reader joins Negan on a run with The Saviors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is more story based, but there is some smut toward the end of the chapter. I’m sure people know this already, but Y/N means “your name”.

The feeling of a movement in the warm bed you were in awoke you as you cuddled in closer to the pillow that was beneath your head. This was the best sleep that you had gotten in what felt like months. It was weird, you were sore, but mentally you felt better than you had in a very long time. Letting out a small sound, you could feel the bed moving behind you and your eyes gradually opened. There was light escaping the small spaces between the curtains that were over Negan’s window and you stretched out your legs. You yawned and could feel the soreness in your body getting a bit worse when you stretched. You were raw, just like Negan had promised last night, but it was a good raw. Mostly. You would never have given up last night though. It was something that you never thought you would love to have happen, but you did.

“Wow, you’re a light fucking sleeper, aren’t you?” Negan grumbled from behind you and you stretched out, looking over your shoulder to see him sitting on the edge of the bed. His back was facing you, but he was looking over his shoulder at you with his gorgeous smirk. “I thought I could sneak out on you.”

“Why would you want to do that?” you frowned, turning over in the bed to see him turning to face you, bringing his right leg up on the bed while his left hung over the side of the bed. His hand reached out to caress over your thigh that was exposed beneath the blanket and you let out a pleasant sound. “I thought maybe we could do a replay of last night.”

“Oh, did you now?” he smirked and a snort escaped his lips when you opened your legs, allowing his hand to press between your thighs and caress over your sensitive flesh. “I’m fucking surprised you would feel like you wanted more of what happened last night.”

“Oh, I hurt. There is no doubt in that,” you informed him with a nod of your head and he responded with a proud expression. “You kept your promise to me, but I like the feeling.”

“Maybe you are the crazy one then and not me,” he winked before pulling his hand away which followed with you frowning. “Unfortunately doll, I have some work that needs to get done today. I would love to continue to fuck you all day long if I could, but with being the fucking leader of a group of morons comes with taking care of shit…even if I don’t want to.”

“Oh, come on,” you pouted and pulled yourself up from the bed, resting your back against the headboard, but he moved up from the bed. The movement allowed you to stare over his naked form as he moved around the room to search out his clothes. When you looked over his back, you bit down on your lip and realized you scratched him up pretty good. “I’m sorry about what I did to your back…”

“Oh…” Negan looked over his shoulder to try and look at the marks that you left before shrugging. “I always enjoy the marks of a job well done. Plus, I’m pretty sure yours are a little more obvious than mine.”

“Oh,” you reached up to caress over the side of your neck knowing that you probably had some good marks on your neck, hips and your bottom was definitely sore from his spankings. “Well, I guess that’s just there to remind me that I’m yours.”

“That’s kind of the fucking point,” Negan pulled on some boxers before reaching for his pants to pull those up as well. “I don’t offer this shit often, but why don’t you just rest here. Stay in my room. Rest. Let your body heal so when I come back for you…you’ll be ready.”

“How long will I have to wait?” you bit your lip as you felt him crawling back onto the bed. His hands pressed in beside you and you reached up to caress over his bare chest, taking time to trace over the hard lines of his body. “It’s going to be hard for me to wait.”

“I’m worth it,” he teased with a wink before tipping in to press his lips in over yours. His kiss was long and it lingered a bit as you curled your leg around his hips. You did what you could to try and urge him to change his mind over leaving, but it was to no prevail. A growl escaped his lips as he shook his head and made a tisking sound. “Bad girl…daddy has to work.”

Frowning, you watched him get up and look for a shirt before putting it on and grabbing his leather jacket. Bringing the blankets up your body, you sighed and realized that while last night was amazing, you weren’t going to get much out of him right now.

“Are you sure I can stay in here today? I should be working out there with the others,” you pointed out, pressing your fingertips throughout your messy hair. You could only imagine what you looked like right now after the night with Negan. “I mean, I’m sore, but…”

“Darlin, I fucking told you to stay in here and rest. If you get hungry, go get something to eat, other than that, fucking listen to me. People do what I say, don’t forget that,” Negan rumbled as you got up from the bed and pulled the blanket with you. His hands reached out to press in over your hips that were clad by the blanket and he pulled you close. Another kiss was pressed over your lips before he smiled and smacked his hand over your bottom playfully. “Now get your tight little ass back in bed before I have to punish you later.”

“I don’t know, I kind of like your punishment,” you muttered with a wink before moving back toward the bed. Negan was finally done getting dressed and he winked at you before leaving. While you were satisfied with what happened last night, you weren’t exactly sure that you were happy about the fact that he was quick to leave. Obviously, he was a busy man, but as you lay in his bed, you started thinking about the fact that he had multiple wives and you really wondered how many of them had been in the same exact position that you were right now.

“Best not to think about it,” you muttered to yourself, curling up under the blankets and you let out a wince when you moved a certain way. Negan was right. Maybe some rest was exactly what you needed right now to give your body the chance to heal itself after the intense session that it had last night.

\------  
  
Moving out of Negan’s room, you decided that you would listen to what he suggested and get something to eat. It felt like you had slept for a few hours beyond what you thought you would. Sure after eating you would go back to the room like he ordered you to, but you needed some time to stretch a bit. When you had woken up, one of The Saviors had obviously brought you some clothes. There was an outfit that had been left out on the table in Negan’s room and you had put it on before coming out, no questions asked.

After getting something small, you went and sat down at an empty table. While you had talked to some of the people at The Sanctuary, not many people were really all that eager to make friends. Some people would talk with you, but it didn’t seem like many people were really that friendly. They were just eager to do their work and keep quiet.

“Hey there,” a voice spoke up as you looked up from the small bowl of soup that they had given you. You were pushing around at it, honestly thinking back to how good food used to be before this all happened. Hell, if you knew this whole thing would have happened maybe you would have eaten more of the shit they considered bad for you.

The man standing before you was tall, lanky and muscular. You hadn’t seen him before; well at least you thought you hadn’t. He had what you thought was maybe an English accent which you found rather odd since where you were. You hadn’t run into many foreigners after the virus broke out. “Can I sit with you?”

“Okay…” you shrugged. It wasn’t like you owned the table. His green eyes were watching you closely and while he wasn’t a bad looking guy, at all really, the way he was looking at you made you a bit uncomfortable. He had stubble covering his squared jaw and his bright eyes never seemed to escape yours.

“You’re new here, right?” he questioned and you nodded. You weren’t exactly new, but obviously you were new enough to have never seen him before. Then again, most of the time you were looking around for Negan and didn’t pay close attention to those that were at The Sanctuary. “That’s what I thought. You okay? I didn’t see you out working today.”

“They wanted me to rest. I have a sore throat,” you lied, rubbing at your throat to feign being ill. Tugging at your shirt around your neck, you tried covering up some of the marks you knew that would be there from Negan last night. Had this guy really noticed every day that you were out working? That alone kind of freaked you out a bit. You had never seen this guy, yet you being gone made some kind of impact on him. “They wanted to make sure that I didn’t make the others sick.”

“Ah, well someone must like you then. Usually they kick the rest of our asses into gear,” he smirked, reaching down to grab the apple from his plate. He bit into it and you still found yourself uncomfortable. “I’m Michael by the way. I’ve been here for about six months.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” you reached your hand out to his, doing your best to be as friendly as possible. You tried at least. “My name is Y/N. So you are one of The Saviors, huh?”

“I’m not one that kills people if that’s what you were asking,” his accent was thick and you nodded slowly before looking back down at your food. His words were a bit harsh and you figured maybe you hit a soft spot. “I do what I have to do to survive here, you know? There are those of us that do what we have to and then there are those of us that enjoy what Negan does.”

“Not a fan of Negan I take it?” you muttered meeting his glance and he stared at you for a long moment. His chiseled jawline was flexing, it was as if he was trying to think of whether or not he should tell you how he really felt. “Your silence is all I needed to hear to know that the answer is a massive no.”

“I just…you have to be careful the way you talk around here. Bad things happen to those that don’t do what they are told or to those that disobey the rules. The point system and the…” when he mentioned a point system you found yourself a bit confused and you could see that he was fighting for words. Soon he started to speak up again before whispering. “He’s a monster. He could handle things differently and I…”

“He does what he has to do to survive, doesn’t he?” you thought back to the words that Negan had fed you not long ago. When you called him out on the same thing, there was always a good answer that Negan had. Whether you agreed with it or not. “To protect us here at The Sanctuary.”

“Wow, which one fed you that crock of shit?” Michael huffed before pushing his fingertips into his short brown hair. “Have you taken a look around here? People are miserable…”

“But they are safe,” you pointed out and realized that you were starting to sound like Negan. Supporting everything that he said and you wondered if that was a bad thing.

“At what cost?” the bridge of Michael’s nose tensed together and he shook his head. “I think you should take a look around today when you have the chance. Why don’t you go take a look at his wives? Check out the small room that all of them are forced to be in.”

“Why would the women agree to be Negan’s wives if it was so awful?” you blurted out, realizing that yes you totally denied being Negan’s wife, but from what he told you they were completely pampered. Michael was staring at you and you couldn’t tell whether or not if he was disgusted with you or just worried with your answers. “I’m just saying…”

“Take a look at them yourself later and let me know if that’s how you really think it is,” Michael huffed before taking another bite of his apple. “I hope you realize what’s going on here before it’s too late.”

“Tell me Michael, how did you get here at The Sanctuary? I mean with the accent and everything…” you swirled your finger out in the air pointing in his direction. You wanted to change the direction of the conversation because at this point, having someone going off on Negan after what happened last night wasn’t really working for you. “You really don’t seem to fit here. A Savior that hates Negan…”

“I’m not the only Savior that doesn’t agree with what Negan does,” Michael insisted with an arch of his eyebrow before shrugging his shoulders. “I was on a vacation with my family when the virus broke out. For a while we had a camp and everyone that I was with…died. Those of us that didn’t get bit…were caught in a fire at our camp. I was found and brought here. For a few weeks I was locked up, kept away from the public before I became…Negan.”

“Negan?” you repeated his words and he didn’t answer you, just took a bite of his apple. Had everyone you talked to about Negan before left out a lot about him or did this guy just really hate Negan? “What does that mean?”

“We are all Negan, I thought you would have learned that by now,” Michael saw Dwight moving around behind him and he lowered his head. It was odd seeing a man his size trying to hide his feelings from someone as small as Dwight. Michael was bigger than Negan, but it seemed like he was terrified to let people hear what he really thought. “If you don’t do what Negan wants, you get punished. How do you think my camp got sent up in flames?”

“I don’t think that’s usually how Negan runs things,” you gulped down seeing him smirk before shaking his head and looking to Dwight who was talking to someone else at the time. “If everyone is so terrified of Negan, then why do what he asks of you?”

“And be the one person that doesn’t do what he wants? Everyone is afraid of him. If you mess up, you get your face burned and scarred like Dwight over there. If you piss him off, he has his goons beat the hell out of you. He calls it rules, he calls it keeping things in measure, but he’s just…,” Michael went silent again when Dwight moved around the table behind them before leaving the room. “Just be careful. I’ve heard that you’ve broken some of the rules…”

“I’m fine,” you assured him with a shake of your head. Negan wasn’t at all the way with you that Michael had been claiming he was. “Why not try to run away? Get out of here?”

“Have you seen what they do those that run away? You belong to Negan. You are Negan’s property. If you run away from here, if you take something from him…” Michael’s voice was cracking and you could see that he felt very passionately about all that he was telling you. “You become one of those walkers out there in front of The Sanctuary. Stuck…protecting this damn place.”

Looking up on the second story, you could see Negan standing over the area looking out at those that were eating. His hands were pressed in over the railing while it looked like he was looking for someone specific. Clearing your throat uneasily, you could see a skinny dark haired woman approaching Negan. She was dressed in a tight clad black dress and you could feel your jaw tightening when you saw her approaching him. Watching her pressing her hand in over the center of his chest and press a kiss over his lips made you let out an uncomfortable sound. Michael must have noticed it as he looked over his shoulder to spot Negan as well.

“That’s Sherry. She’s one of his wives. She used to be Dwight’s girl before they got here. Now she belongs to Negan,” he informed you before quickly looking back to you. “She seems to be his favorite.”

“Oh, I see,” you could feel your cheeks blushing over in jealousy. Hell, you knew Negan had multiple wives. He told you that from the start. He had told you that he had slept with all of them. Then you were okay with it, but now as you actually saw one of them kissing Negan, you could feel your anger levels rising deep within your body. “His favorite?”

“Yeah, she seems to be the one that he lets talk back to him and he lets her roam around. She does more than the others get to, tests his limits,” Michael looked over his shoulder again and when Negan looked over in his direction you could see Michael tensing up. Michael turned back to the table again and lowered his head. “There are a lot of them though. All of them are stuck wearing clothes like that. To please him…”

“I see,” you muttered under your breath as you saw Negan talking with Sherry. He was smiling and had his hand over the side of her face. You noticed out of the corner of your eyes that Michael was staring out at you and you frowned. “What?”

“Have you met Negan?” Michael blurted out and you nodded. “And you haven’t realized any of what I’ve told you?”

“Well, I know he likes to be in charge. That’s for sure,” you looked up again to see that Negan wasn’t where he was previously. Clearing your throat, you could feel that your body was rushing over with a heat of jealousy and you knew it. “He gets what he wants, right?”

“As I’ve said before…at what cost? He kills people and doesn’t even think twice about it,” Michael reminded you, his brow line was tense and it felt like he was lecturing you a bit. “Don’t let his charm confuse you. The first moment you piss him off, you won’t like it.”

“I think I will be fine,” you suddenly weren’t very hungry and you could tell that you were about to get snappy with this new guy.

Hearing the sound of a door slamming open, you looked forward to see Negan walking into the dining area. When he moved into the center of the room everyone got up from where they were and kneeled on the ground. Getting confused, you could see Michael motioning you to do the same and you shook your head. What the hell was going on?

“Bow…” Michael ordered in a panicked tone and you got down from your seat, lowering your head as everyone else in the room had done. Had you just been completely oblivious to this whole thing the entire time?

“Listen up you sons of bitches,” Negan boasted in his deep voice, looking around the room and you raised your head a bit to see his eyes meet yours. He gave you a confused look before continuing on with his words. “We’re going out for a run and I need a couple of extra hands. Simon and a few of my other boys are off doing other shit that needs to be done. So does anyone want to volunteer? Fuck, come on. I don’t want to go picking off random names.”

Looking around the room, you could see that a lot of the people were keeping their heads down. Trying to avoid eye contact with him and The Saviors that had come in with him. A few of the men volunteered and you could tell that Michael was right. People were fucking terrified of Negan, but you really had to see it for yourself.

“I’ll do it,” you spoke up seeing Negan turn on his heel to face you, his jaw clenching as you got up and moved closer to the group. Negan’s eyebrows tensed together and you nodded slowly. “I can go on the run.”

“You’re sick,” Negan slurred out and took a look around the cafeteria looking for someone else, but you stepped in front of his glance. “I appreciate the fucking offer, but you work here and we need you here.”

“I’m just as capable as they are,” you nodded to the other women in his group and you could see his breathing getting heavier. His tongue drew out over his bottom lip before biting into it. “Let me show you my worth.”

“Well fuck, who am I to stop you?” Negan huffed, moving aside and allowing you to follow the group. Hearing the sound of Michael’s voice calling out to offer to go, you felt your whole body tensing. “Michael, wow…nutting up. Huh?”

“Yes sir,” Michael followed you toward the group that was heading out toward the front. You knew that he offered up going for you and you wish he hadn’t. You wanted to do this whole thing on your own without your new admirer following you not far behind.

Gulping down, you still were sore as hell. Negan had promised you that you would be and you certainly were still feeling it, but you had to see if all the things that Michael said were true and you figured this was the way to start.

\----  
  
“Where are we going?” you adjusted your body from where you were sitting in the back of the truck with a few people. You were in the truck that Negan was up front in, but they had put you in the back with Dwight and a few other people. Dwight looked in your direction with a confused expression.

“We’re going on a supplies run. The first truck is going to one of the cities to pick up from those people that owe The Sanctuary. This truck is going to check the perimeter. Make sure that no one is going to pull anything while also looking for supplies,” Dwight slid in closer to you so that only you could hear him and he let out a heavy breath. “Listen, I don’t like you very much…”

“Oh, trust me…the feeling is mutual,” you huffed at his comment and you could see Dwight lift his eyes to make sure that no one was listening.

“That’s good, but what you are doing is dangerous girl. You are Negan’s. You are even throwing him off his game by going here. He would usually be going on the other truck, instead he is doing the more dangerous job by staying here to keep an eye on you,” Dwight growled under his breath and you looked up to see Michael at the end of the truck watching the two of you. Gulping down heavily, you were thankful that the hum of the truck was loud enough for your conversation to be kept quiet. “I’m not kidding, this shit is dangerous. You shouldn’t be coming out here; it will fuck Negan up if something happens to you.”

“I was alone for months. I will be fine,” you muttered before moving away from him and you had to really wonder if that was true. Did Negan come with this group to watch you or maybe he didn’t go with the other group because he didn’t want you to know how he treated those that worked for him. To keep you from seeing his real side.

Once the truck had stopped, they had split everyone up into groups and Negan had ordered that you, Dwight and Michael be in a group with him to go looking for supplies. You stood between Michael and Negan, yet found yourself completely frustrated with the situation. This whole thing felt ridiculous walking down a road that wasn’t populated at all. There seemed to be some older buildings off in the distance, but this all started feeling like a joke. This wasn’t a typical run for Negan and you knew that. This was him trying to keep an eye on you and do an easy job for you.

“So no weapons for us?” you blurted out, looking over at Negan to see him look to you. His eyebrow was arched up as he gave you that same ridiculous smile that he would when he was amused. Lucille was thrown over his right shoulder and Dwight had a gun, but they hadn’t given anything to you or Michael. “I mean, that’s not good, right?”

“For a couple of first timers, we have to learn to trust you first,” Dwight answered instead of Negan and you could see Michael shoot you a glare as if to keep your mouth shut. Hearing the sound of some rustling up ahead, the whole group paused and you could see a walker stepping out of the woods. They were still a bit of a ways away, but when you looked to Negan you could see him smiling.

“Michael. How about you do us the honors?” Negan held out his bat toward the younger man and you could see the way that Michael looked at the bat. Negan held it out again, this time his face getting a bit angrier. “Michael…take care of business. Don’t make me ask again.”

You looked at the way Michael eyed over the bat and you could see that look in his eye and you knew what it meant. He did not want to touch Lucille. Hell, you knew what that meant. It meant that Negan killed someone he cared about with Lucille. Hell, you looked at the bat the same way and Negan had killed someone you really hadn’t known that well.

“Give me the damn thing,” you snatched Lucille from Negan’s hand and you heard him let out an angered breath. “I’ll take care of it.”

“I told him to fucking do it,” Negan snapped, but you weren’t going to allow him to stop you as you approached the walkers. The first one came at you, but you rose Lucille up and swung as hard as you could at its head. The walker was clearly an older one that was frailer, so it was easier to take it down in under three hits. The other one looked fresher and you looked back at the group of men behind you.

“Just let me get that one,” Michael stepped forward, but Negan’s hand slammed into the center of his chest to keep him where he was before you moved to the walker. The walker lunged forward at you and you ducked just in time before swinging Lucille at its temple again. The first hit only knocked it a bit before you swung it again, this time making the walker fall to the ground. Starting to bring the bat down over and over again into the head of the walker, you could see the blood splattering all around you, hinting that it was likely dead, but it didn’t stop you from continuing to bring it down repeatedly. Your heart was pounding in your chest as you grunted out, going to hit it again only to feel someone grab a hold of the bat, catching you off guard.

“Jesus girl,” Negan wrapped his arm around you waist, pulling you from the walker and you looked to see that the head was a bloody mess. You couldn’t even make out the features of the walker anymore and you could feel Negan pulling the bat from your hand, still keeping your back pressed against his chest. “I think you fucking got it.”

Looking up at Dwight and Michael, you could see that they were still standing where they originally were. Dwight looked shocked and the look on Michael’s face almost seemed scared of you or maybe disgusted. You couldn’t really tell.

“Someone just tried doing their best impression of me, didn’t they?” Negan whispered in your ear and you could feel your chest rising and falling heavily, realizing that you had just done the very thing that Negan was known for doing. Except the person you did it to was already dead. That must be why Michael was giving you the look that he was. Negan brushed your hair away from your ear before smiling, “you have no idea how fucking hot that just made me sweetheart.”

Feeling Negan releasing you from his grasp, you dropped to your knees and looked out at the walker you had just killed. Never before had you gone so wickedly violent on one of them, but this time you destroyed it. Almost as if you were taking all the rage you had built up out in one moment.

“You two, take a hike through the woods and see if you can find some of the rest of our group and see how they are doing,” Negan reached down to grab a hold of your arm, pulling you up to your feet before nodding toward the back. “Slugger and I are going to check out some of the buildings up there. Keep your radio on you D.”

“Wait…” Michael went to say to stop you from leaving with Negan alone and you could see Dwight hitting him in the back of the shoulders with the gun he had making Michael fall to his knees.

“Do as I say Mikey,” Negan motioned you up the road toward one of the buildings and you looked back to see Michael and Dwight disappearing into the woods. When the two of you were alone, Negan looked to you with a smile. “Damn darling, you sure have some rage in you, don’t you?”

\-----  
  
“A bar? You think we are going to find something good here at a bar?” you followed Negan into what seemed to be a pretty typical biker bar that you would find. Negan pushed into the heavy door trying to get it to budge, but grunted when he felt something block it.

“Help me with this shit,” Negan suggested you help and motioned you to wait until three before throwing your weight with his into the door. After a few times, it finally budged and the two of you were able to nudge aside the pinball machine and jukebox that had been pushed in front of the doors to block it off. “You never know the treasures you can find in fucking places like these.”

“What? Like alcohol and peanuts?” you walked into the dusty bar, wrinkling your nose when the smell of rotted wood filled the air around you. Negan moved across the bar toward the empty area of the large room. He set Lucille on top of the pool table before smiling widely and reaching for one of the balls that was still over the top of it.

“Whoever was here last took good care of this shit. Do you know how long I’ve wanted to play some pool? Shit…” Negan looked around the cluttered space of the bar. Chairs were thrown about, but overall things were still together pretty well inside of the place. “Look to see if you can find one of the pool cues.”

“We’re going to play pool?” you questioned with a disgusted sound in your tone and he shot you a glare. Shaking your head, you moved toward the bar area and moved behind it. There were a few bottles of alcohol that were still there. Nothing spectacular, but it was clearly what had been left after everything was picked over. Looking under the bar, you could see that a handgun that was taped down to one of the shelves. Looking out at Negan, you could see him pushing the pinball machine in front of the door that they had originally opened. Obviously he wanted to be there for a bit and keep those out that could come in. “You might want to make sure there are no walkers in here first, you know?”

“I’m pretty sure we would have heard them by now,” Negan pointed out with a laugh before picking up some of the chairs and setting them up.

Stepping out of the bar, you moved into the kitchen that was right behind it and looked around to see that most things had been picked over, but there were a few bags of rice and flour that was still left inside of the fridge. All of the doors that you had found leading to the outside were closed off and that really confused you. If everything was closed off, where were the people that locked the place up? How were they able to get out?

“There are a few bags of food that we might want to have them grab when we’re done here,” you walked out into the main room to see Negan holding a pool cue in his hands. He looked happier than usual and you shook your head. “I’m starting to think that this whole trip is a bit of a joke.”

“Why? Because I’m fucking enjoying myself? It’s about time you learned to do the same thing,” Negan watched you move toward the bar again and he nodded toward some of the alcohol that had been left there. “How about you bring some of that over here slugger?”

“Don’t call me that,” you muttered under your breath hearing him laugh in the background. Obviously, it had impressed him what you had done with those walkers, but you were sick of that nickname already. “So who did you kill close to Michael that has him hate you so much?”

“Aw, he told you he hates me?” Negan mocked with a laugh and you looked up at him from where you were knelt down looking at the alcohols behind the bar. “Who said I did something to Mikey? The guy could just have a stick up his ass. He is English you know…”

“I see the way he looks at Lucille. It’s obvious you did something to someone he was close to,” you saw Negan give you a look as if to drop it and you shook your head. “Negan…I know you’re not perfect. You don’t have to lie to me.”

“Did I say I wasn’t perfect? I think I’m pretty great if you ask me,” he winked at you, his deep voice echoing throughout your ears.

Hearing the sound of something knocking over, Negan looked over his shoulder at the doors leading toward the bathrooms in the back. He shot you a look before setting down the pool cue and reaching for Lucille. He motioned you to wait as he opened one of the doors and found nothing inside. You could see him moving for the other door when you saw it slamming open. A walker forcefully knocked into Negan causing him to fall to the ground causing Lucille to fall from his hands. Negan’s hand grabbed a hold of the walker’s throat, forcing it up and away from him to keep himself safe.

Moving quickly, you pulled the handgun up from the bar and without hesitation shot the gun hearing Negan let out a growl when you shot the walker in the temple making it fall limp on top of him, “fucking dammit!”

“You okay?” you moved toward the bathrooms to see Negan shoving the walker off of him and you looked him over to make sure he wasn’t bit. Negan gave you a look, his eyebrow arching up as you walked into the bathroom to make sure that was the only walker left in the bar. “I told you we should have checked the place first.”

“You shot that fucker all the way from the bar?” Negan looked up at you from where he was sitting on the ground as you tossed the handgun down beside him. You grabbed a hold of the walker’s feet and tugged it back into the bathroom before closing the door behind it. “You’re a bit of a tough ass, aren’t you?”

“How do you expect a girl to be all alone for so long?” you reached for his hand, helping him pull his massive body up from the ground before he reached down to grab the hand gun that you had fired. He pushed the handgun down the front of his pants before giving you a look. “What?”

“If you had piss poor aim, you could have fucking shot me,” Negan pointed out and you shook your head moving over toward the pool table where Negan had set up some of the balls. Grabbing the pool cue, you took the cue ball and tried lining up the shot.

“You’re lucky I don’t have bad aim then I guess,” you muttered under your breath feeling a firm pull on your hips from behind and you let out a tight breath. Negan pulled you tightly up against his body as his hand grabbed a hold of your jaw and pulled you back toward him while his mouth kissed over your jawline hungrily. “I thought you desperately wanted to play pool.”

“You have made my dick so incredibly hard today, you have no fucking idea,” he hissed against your skin as you brought your hand back behind you to press over the front of his pants to feel his body solid against your touch to give you more than enough proof behind that statement. “First with beating the fucking hell out of that walker and then with saving me like that…”

“What did you think? That I was just some helpless female?” you muttered feeling his lips meeting yours in a heavy kiss and his tongue flicked wildly out against yours causing you to whimper into his mouth. When he tugged away, you nipped at his bottom lip and bit into the flesh hearing him groan with the motion. “I’m very capable of taking care of business Negan…”

“Yes you fucking are…,” Negan slammed you down on top of the pool table making you let out a tight breath as he bent you over the side of it. Feeling his hands pulling your hips back, you could feel him kicking your feet apart a bit before grabbing a tight hold of your pants, hastily pulling them down your legs. Negan set the handgun down beside you on the pool table before you heard him opening his pants up behind you. “You have no idea how much more attracted I am to you now…and I thought I couldn’t get any more attracted to you than I already fucking was.”

“Oh yeah?” you heard him pulling his zipper down before gasping out when you felt him pushing into you from behind causing you to yelp out with his forcefulness. His hands clutched your hips tightly and you felt him start to slam into you from behind, his hips smacking against your bottom as you whimpered out. “Negan!”

“You were determined to get me to fuck you again today, weren’t you?” Negan leaned in over you, pressing his hands over the felt of the pool table to get a steady pressure building between the two of you. His cock was buried deep within you as you cried out, feeling him biting at your earlobe. You fought to contain your cries as his thrusts got harder. “Oh baby girl, don’t hold back. We’re locked down in an empty bar. I want to hear you scream…”

Negan’s large hands clung at your hips, his thrusts extremely forceful and quick knocking you forward into the pool table making you cry out loudly. His left arm hooked around your waist, pulling you up into a standing position as you braced yourself against the edge of the pool table. Your hands clutched to it tightly when you felt his right hand pressing between your hips in search of your clitoris.

“You are so fucking hot,” Negan hissed against the side of your ear, his fingertips pressing roughly against your body, moving at the same pace of his hips inside of you. Crying out, you could feel him holding you close to his body, keeping you against him. His deep moans filled your ears and they were soon replaced by a growl escaping his lips. “God, it feels so fucking good inside of you.”

“Negan…” you panted feeling his caress getting harder and harder with each passing second causing your heart to slam inside your chest. Your body was shaking and if it wasn’t for Negan keeping you up with his left arm, your legs would have certainly given out. “I’m going to…”

“Do it,” he groaned in your ear, his thrusts getting stronger as he winced in your ear, certainly close to reaching his release as well. Clutching onto the pool table so tightly, you could see your knuckles turning white and you threw your head back into his chest feeling a rush flowing to your head. A pressure filled your head as you felt your body shaking against him. “Good girl…”

“Damn it…” you breathed hearing his repetitive groans in your ears before feeling his warmth spilling out inside of you, his hips slowing down behind you as he rode out until the very end of his orgasm. His left hand grabbed a hold of your jaw while his mouth kissed heavily over the side of your neck and jawline before nipping at the skin. His breathing was heavy and you reached down to clutch his right hand in yours, squeezing his fingers tightly. “I really like you Negan…”

“I really fucking like you too,” Negan laughed against your skin, pulling out of you and you let out a small whimper. That was a sensation your body never seemed to like. The feeling of him leaving your body, it liked having him inside of you. Negan helped you get your pants back over your body before pulling up his own. When you turned to him, you met him in a heavy kiss and felt him cupping your face in his rough fingers. When you looked up at him, you could see his smile expanding when he looked at you. “Oh, I see. Well good…”

“Good?” you muttered feeling him picking you up and setting you on the edge of the pool table before brushing his fingertips into your hair. “I bet none of your wives could do what I did today with the walkers.”

“Oh that is most certainly true. You are way more hardcore and bad ass than my wives. That’s a hundred percent true,” Negan’s lips pressed in over your jawline before he motioned you to wait and you saw him stumbling over toward the bar to reach for a bottle of alcohol. He returned with it before twisting off the cap and taking a long swig of it. “You are definitely very different and that’s what I like about you. You’re a bad ass.”

Nodding, you felt him hopping up beside you on the edge of the pool table before laughing and you looked to him again.

“How are you not sore as all hell?” he snorted and you shrugged your shoulder before letting out a deep breath.

“I am super sore. I should have just stayed in your bed,” you looked toward the windows to see that the sun was starting to go down and you wondered how much longer the two of you should have been staying in there. “It would have been so much easier.”

“Oh no, I’m glad you fucking came…well, in more ways than one,” he muttered with a grin before feeling you hit him in the chest and it made another snort erupt from deep within. “You have no idea the kind of effect you have left on me today darling. You’ll protect me and keep me safe. Do you know how fucking nice it is to have a woman that doesn’t need to be pampered and can take care of fucking business? Yet she’s hot as hell? Shit, today may be one of my favorite days.”

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader spends the night with Negan and gets to see a different side of him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was asked to write a bit of a fluff piece with this story, so this is for that person that requested it :)

Sitting on the edge of the pool table, you felt Negan sitting beside you as the two of you watched the rest of The Saviors walking into the kitchen to grab the bags of food that you had found earlier in the kitchen of the bar. You felt a bit nervous as you looked to Lucille that was sitting in your lap and you could feel Negan’s arm loosely wrapping around your shoulders.

“I feel like I should somehow be helping,” you muttered under your breath as you looked up to meet the glare that Michael was giving you as he walked past you and Negan toward the front door of the bar. “Instead of just sitting here doing nothing.”

“You are my girl, my queen…I think you’ve done a lot of fucking stuff today and you deserve the break,” Negan slurred tipping his head in closer to yours before squeezing his arm around you tightly. “You’ve saved my ass several times today, so I think you damn well deserve a nice relaxing moment.”

You found yourself actually leaning into Negan as he had his arm wrapped around you. When Michael walked back in the door of the bar, you could see him stop in his tracks when he saw the two of your and the posture of the both of you. He gave you a confused expression and you sighed heavily before looking to Negan who was smiling while he watched the rest of The Saviors finishing up.

“You got a problem there Mikey?” Negan muttered out with an amused tone and Michael quickly shook his head before moving back to the kitchen again. “I’m getting the hint the kid has a bit of a crush on my girl.”

“I just met the guy today, that’d be a little creepy,” you sighed clutching Lucille in your lap before handing it over to Negan with a smile. Negan accepted the bat before reaching down to grab the handgun that you had found earlier. He handed it to you and you carefully accepted the gun. “What’s this for?”

“You’ve earned it, it’s all yours…” Negan hopped up from the pool table and squeezed your shoulder one final time before moving into the kitchen leaving you in the main room. Getting up from the table, you walked outside and could hear someone moving in behind you.

“Did you really save him?” Michael’s thick English accent pressed in over you as you looked over your shoulder to give him a sideways glance. “I heard that a walker almost got him and you fucking saved him. Is that true? After everything you have learned.”

“I think you need to be careful with the way you talk about Negan in public Michael,” you warned him and you could see his squared jaw clenching tensely. “Don’t pretend like you know who I am and what I should be doing in decision making. You don’t know me at all.”

“Everything okay here?” Negan stepped out the door whistling a tune to himself, but halted abruptly when he saw the two of you together. You nodded and watched Michael give Negan a glance before heading back to the truck to hop into the back. When you went to follow, Negan grabbed a hold of your wrist and shook his head. “You are going to hop up front with us. I’d rather have you with me right now.”

“Okay…” you followed Negan to the front of the truck where you saw Dwight was already in the driver’s seat which meant that you would be between both him and Negan, but you guessed that was good enough for now.

Sliding in, you could feel Negan hopping in next to you as The Saviors finished up and started driving their way back to the sanctuary. A couple of minutes into the ride, you could feel Negan’s hand pressing in over your knee and giving it a small squeeze. Looking to him, you could see him flash you a bright smile before reaching for your hand to wrap his fingertips around yours.

“When we get back to The Sanctuary, I want you to go clean yourself up. Take a shower while I finish things up, but when you are done…I want you to come back and find me,” Negan insisted with a heavy sigh and his grip tightened around your fingertips. “I’d like for you to stay with me again tonight.”

“Are you sure about that?” you breathed feeling your heart race at the very thought of getting to spend another night with him.  You weren’t going to deny spending another night with Negan because you enjoyed your time with him. You just wanted to make sure that was something that he really wanted. “I know you have all of your wives and…”

“I told you what I want and I only ask once,” Negan replied with a firm tone and you smirked, nodding when you laced your fingers around his tighter. You could feel Dwight move uncomfortably behind you and you looked in his direction to see that he looked extremely irritated.

You never really understood what his problem with you was, but there was seriously something he hated about you and you couldn’t quite put your finger on it.

 

* * *

 

“Negan, can we talk for a sec,” Dwight nervously stammered following Negan up the stairs to the second floor of The Sanctuary. Negan let out an aggravated sound as he turned on his heel and gave Dwight a frown. “There is something that I want to talk to you about. It’s kind of important.”

“Right now? I have some things that I have to finish D. Don’t you have something to do right now? Something to do with what’s his name? Daryl?” Negan reminded Dwight with a half crooked grin. Negan tossed his hands up in an exaggerative manner and shook his head.

“No, I need to say this…” Dwight insisted and Negan dropped Lucille loosely down at his side before pressing his other hand in over his hip. “What is it with you keeping Y/N with you at night? This would be the third time that you have kept her with you all night. You don’t sleep with anyone. You have never trusted anyone enough to be in your room with you at night. None of your wives, ever. Yet you trust this girl. This girl that isn’t even married to you?”

“And…?” Negan’s eyebrow perked up and he seemed amused with Dwight’s comments. “What is it you are trying to tell me here Dwight? I can’t tell whether you seem like a jealous fucking girlfriend or a parent that is trying to tell me how to run my life. Which if you were attempting to do either one, I think it would be the very worst thing that you could do for yourself D. Telling me what to fucking do with my fucking life.”

“You are doing things with this girl that you are completely against. You are opening yourself up to getting yourself hurt and I think…I think you’d be making a huge mistake tonight if you take her in with you again. You are risking yourself; you are making poor decisions…”

“The fuck was that?” Negan raised Lucille bringing the bat up to the center of Dwight’s chest and a loud breath escaped Dwight’s lips. Dwight held his hands up defensively and Negan’s brow line creased and it was clear that Dwight’s comment irritated him. “I’m making poor decisions? Since when have you become the leader of The Saviors D? Who told you that you have the right to tell me what I can and cannot fucking do?”

“I’m just asking you to start thinking clearly. When you put yourself at risk, you put all of us at risk. I’m asking you to think about that,” Dwight begged and Negan lowered the bat cautiously before nodding. “Y/N doesn’t want what’s best for The Saviors. She clearly likes you, but she isn’t dedicated to the views and thoughts of The Sanctuary. She is going to snap on you at one point and opening yourself up like you have been…it’s going to get us hurt. It’s going to get you hurt. I’m just asking you to think about that.”

“And I’m fucking tell you…” Negan stepped forward, his posture changing as his deep voice seemed to linger with a bit of anger in the tone. “Mind your own fucking business.”

 

* * *

 

Walking around the corner toward Negan’s room, you could feel your wet hair clinging to your body after the shower. You were almost assuming that Negan would have joined you in the showers especially since he was the one that had a walker killed on top of him today, but you were somewhat disappointed when he didn’t show up.

A smile pressed in over your lips as you heard his deep voice not far away from where you were. Turning the corner, you stopped when you saw him talking to another woman. His hand was gripping a hold of her jaw softly while he spoke to her. It was in the same tone that you would often hear him talking to you and you could see the smile that pressed in over his features as he tipped in to kiss her. You stepped aside and watched closely when he pulled away and caressed his thumb in over the side of her jawline before shaking his head and talking to her again.

You could feel jealous rage filling throughout your body as you watched him with the blonde before him. You waited until the woman left to even start moving to Negan again and when he noticed you, he held his arms up and gave a large smile. When he noticed that you seemed to be in an odd mood, he lowered his arms and sighed heavily.

“What is it?” Negan rumbled almost seemingly stressed out at the idea of you not being happy with him. “I can see by the glare on that pretty little face of yours that you are pissed at me for something, so why not just bring it out right now?”

“Why do you want me to spend the night with you again?” you eyed him over feeling a pain in your chest as you thought about the idea of him kissing and being with other woman. You knew that he was with plenty of other woman when you first got together, but then you really hadn’t thought about how much the idea actually would bother you. The closer you got to Negan, the more jealous you felt about any other women getting close to him. “You clearly have other wives that you should be spending time with.”

“I do, but I don’t want to be spending it with them. I want to be spending it with you,” he insisted with another crooked smile. The sight of his large dimples made you smirk and you damned yourself for being that easy to sway. He was so charming that it was hard to sway yourself away to being mad at him. “You knew what you were getting yourself into when you got with me. Fuck, I made it very clear to you…”

“I know,” you frowned feeling him cupping your face in his rough hands and you could feel his thumbs caressing in over the contours of cheekbones. Reaching up, you pressed your hands in over his and found yourself enjoying the warmth of him more than you ever thought you would. “I just…I get jealous of the other women.”

“Good,” he chuckled and you rolled your eyes at his comment, but your annoyance was short lived when you felt him tipping in to kiss you softly. You could feel your body melting into his as you tipped up in closer to him to enjoy the kiss further. “Now let’s go to bed. I’m exhausted.”

“Okay…” you followed him into the room and watched Negan motion to you wait. He stepped out into the hallway to grab Lucille where she was against the wall and he quickly moved back into the room.  Negan tossed Lucille on the couch as soon as entering the room again. Negan motioned you in fully before closing and locking the door behind you. You watched as Negan started to strip off his clothes and once you saw him reach his boxers, you could feel your pulse rate quicken. That’s how much your body was attracted to him. “So how do you want us to do this?”

“What’s that?” Negan hopped into the bed and laid on his right arm as he stared out at you. He brushed his left hand throughout his hair messing it a bit and you smiled. Negan always kept his appearance in a pristine order, but at night you always loved his disheveled look. “Oh, I just want us to sleep together. That’s all.”

“Oh, Okay…” you found yourself at a loss as Negan stared up at you with his bright hazel eyes. Usually he was a bit more specific on how he wanted things, but maybe he just wasn’t in the mood right now to be in charge. A smirk pressed in over his lips as you began to carefully take off your clothes. Once you got down to your bra and panties, you could see Negan rubbing over his jawline in a very slow manner. Reaching for the back of your bra, you attempted to unhook the material as Negan held his hand up and motioned you to stop.

“No, no,” he laughed and you could see him sitting up on the bed. His large dimples were extremely prevalent as you lowered your arms and very obviously seemed quite confused. “I mean, I want us to sleep together. To actually sleep…not fuck. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the sex and I am very turned on by the idea of you wanting to do that for me, but I think we both need the fucking rest tonight.”

“You just want to sleep?” you saw him nod and his grin slowly left his face as he tapped the bed beside him. Moving into bed, you stayed in a sitting position as Negan pinched at the bridge of his nose. “Are you okay?”

“I’ve got a massive headache,” he answered as you pressed your back up against the headboard. You watched him closely before reaching out to press your palm in over the side of his face. His eyes met yours when you caressed over his stubble covered face and you could feel him leaning into the touch. “Can I do something?”

“Anything,” you whispered feeling him moving in the bed beside you while he lowered his body enough to lay his head in your lap. Feeling a bit uncomfortable at first, this was a man that most were afraid of, but here he was laying in your lap with his eyes closed. He seemed very much less like the monster that everyone thought he was and more like a tired man who just wanted to be held. Reaching down, you brushed your fingertips through his hair. Repeating the motion, you could see him cuddling his head in closer to your thigh as his breathing got heavier. That’s when it really hit you…just watching him in this light made you realize how much you really cared for this man. “Any better?”

“That feels good,” Negan muttered in a very soft spoken tone as you continued caressing your fingertips over his scalp. After some time you slid your fingertips over the base of his neck to caress over the tight muscle in his back and shoulders. Feeling the tensing muscles giving way beneath your massage, you could hear Negan let out a long sigh. “Thank you.”

“For what?” you continued your caress against body until your started slowly squeezing at the muscle of his shoulders. He let out a tight groan when you hit a knot that you could feel in his muscular shoulders and you carefully tried to massage it out for him.

“For this,” Negan whispered before opening his eyes enough to look up with his hazel eyes. “One of my wives was a massage therapist, but she doesn’t…”

At the mention of the other women in his life made your brow line crease, you could see Negan frown and lower his head back down in your lap. He quit speaking for a while as you continued your caress over his broad shoulders. It was clear that he realized you were uncomfortable with the idea of his other wives and just decided to stop talking about it for now.

“I’m just saying I trust you. So thank you,” Negan slurred, pressing a soft kiss against your bare thigh before cuddling his head in closer to your skin. After some time, you could feel his heavy breathing against your skin and you sighed heavily. Negan had fallen asleep in your lap and you could feel a strong ache in your chest.

Just watching him sleeping in your lap made your heart ache. While you loved the wild side of Negan, this was something that you weren’t quite used to. He looked so pure and vulnerable sleeping there. You knew what Negan was, it was very clear what he was from the moment you met him, but this was a different side of him. A side that you knew that many others didn’t get to see from him.

For quite some time he slept like that in your lap and you were alright with it. You actually enjoyed sitting there watching him sleep and you weren’t extremely eager to move him or go to sleep yourself. You just liked watching him, touching him and holding him loosely in your lap. After a while he woke up enough to move into the bed appropriately to lay with you and when he did that, you could feel him holding his arm around your hip loosely throughout most of the night.

That was until halfway through the night you could feel his body jolting heavily behind you. He was shaking and it was clear he was having an awful nightmare. Turning over in bed, you could see his eyes clenching tightly and he was tossing and turning. His body was soaked and you reached out to try and press your hand in over the center of his chest.

“Negan…” you whispered caressing his damp skin in a very tender manner, you were trying to wake him up in a careful way to make sure not to jolt him awake. The caress wasn’t enough as you heard him wincing heavily and you watched his back arching up off of the bed. “Negan!”

Reaching up, you grabbed a hold of his face and shook it slightly. A gasp escaped his lips as you felt his hand wrap around your wrist and grab a hold of it tightly. His eyes snapped open and you could feel him shoot up in the bed quickly pressing himself back against the headboard. When he realized it was you beside him, he sighed heavily and slowly let go of your wrist.

“You were having a nightmare, are you okay?” you reached out to press your palm in over the side of his face, caressing over his salt and pepper colored stubble. His chest was rising and falling heavily, his body was also still trembling. “Everything is okay. You are here with me and everything is alright…”

You tried hushing him as you reached out to wrap your hand around the base of his neck, pulling him in closer to you as he rest his head against the center of your chest. Your chin rested on the top of his head while you caressed your fingers throughout his damp hair.

“You’re okay…” you tipped down to press a kiss over his head and you could feel him wrapping his arms around you tightly. “What was your dream?”

“Nothing,” he lied with a rumble and you frowned, but didn’t push the subject further as you continued you caress over his scalp. It seemed like he started to relax after a while in your arms and you loosened your grip on him.

“What’s going on Negan?” you repeated your question and watched him tip his head back slowly. His glance met yours past the small amount of light that was filling the room and you reached out to caress over the side of his face. “Negan?”

“You know, people think I’m alright with being the person that I am, but I have demons that haunt me…from my past,” Negan informed you with a groan as he fell back against the bed, covering his eyes with his hands as he spoke. “I’ve gone through a lot of shit. That’s all.”

“Hey…” you slid in beside him and reached out to grab a hold of one of his hands lowering it from his face. “Negan, I’m here for you. I’m not going to hold anything against you; I’m not going to treat you differently. I understand what our relationship has to be.”

“You remind me of someone, you know?” Negan sighed heavily and reached up to trace over the side of your face with his rough fingertips. He seemed to trace over your features in a very tender manner before shrugging. “Someone very special.”

There was a silence that fell between the two of you as Negan urged you to lay in over him and rest your head on the center of his chest. You got as comfortable as you could without hurting him, listening to the soft pounding sounds of his heart as you laid over him.

“Everyone dies…” Negan blurted out after what seemed like forever and you lifted your head to meet his expression. “Everyone…everyone I’ve taken care of…everyone I’ve ever cared about…they all die.”

“And that’s why we have to make best of the time that we have in this world,” you responded reaching up to caress your hand in over the center of his stomach, tracing your fingertips into the coarse hair on his body. He seemed very distraught as his jaw tightened and you watched him bite down roughly on his bottom lip. “Just try to go back to bed Negan, I won’t go to sleep until you fall back asleep.”

Negan gave you a glance, his eyebrow arching up as if he was trying to read something more in your words before getting more comfortable again. His arm was hooked tightly around your shoulders while his other hand hooked his fingers with yours to hold your hand. You kept up your promise and waited until you heard his heavy breathing alerting you to the fact that he was sleeping.

After tonight there was one major thing that you began to notice…there was a lot more to Negan than what everyone else saw in him.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the morning after Negan showed the reader his vulnerable side and he's a bit worried about that, but the reader is eager to prove that she can keep it between the two of them.

The soft caress over your shoulders was felt awakening you from your sleep. Your eyes gradually opened to feel that your head was still resting against Negan’s chest as he breathed heavily beneath you. The light was barely breaking through the window of Negan’s bedroom alerting you to the fact that it was still very early in the morning.

Even though you were awake, you didn’t let Negan know that because you could tell by the sound of his breathing and the way he was caressing over your flesh that he was awake as well. You just really enjoyed the feeling of him caressing your shoulders in a soothing manner and loved the sound of his steady heartbeat pressed against your ear.

For a while, you just took in the comforting sensation of Negan caressing over your body and finally you sighed heavily when you could feel him curling his arm around you tightly. Cuddling your head in closer to his chest, you pulled your hand up and caressed your fingertips through the coarse hair covering his chest.

“Good morning,” you yawned stretching out your legs and while you knew that being awake meant you would have to let Negan up soon, you weren’t exactly ready for that yet.

You loved being in his arms. You loved last night and everything that happened between the two of you. Even the way that he was caressing over your shoulders was different than what you were used to with Negan. Cuddling your head even further into his chest, you felt him pressing a kiss against your head and you smiled.

“How long have you been awake?” you purred against his chest, pressing a soft kiss against the center of his chest and you felt his fingertips pushing into your hair. He caressed over your scalp and you found yourself longing for more of this.

“Not that long,” Negan’s tired voice finally broke the silence and his deep voice seemed a bit strained as he spoke to you. Lifting your head, you could see that there was a different expression in his eyes as he looked out you. Something seemed wrong and while you were worried about it, you weren’t quite sure that you wanted to approach the topic.

“What’s wrong?” you slid your hand up from the center of his chest, up his neck and toward his jawline to caress over his masculine features. You teased your fingertips through his short beard and could hear him let out a long breath. His brow line creased and he stayed silent after your question, leaving you to frown at his silence. “Negan?”

“About last night,” he began with a nervous tone and it seemed like he was uncomfortable with the fact that you had seen there was a vulnerable side to him. Negan frowned and he seemed confused. Confused as to what to say or maybe even confused as to what happened between the two of your last night. “That isn’t normal of me.”

“Okay…” you nodded feeling your heart hammering inside of your chest as you raised your body a bit more over him. Your arm rest in over the center of his chest to prop yourself up to look at him more forwardly. “What about it?”

“No one knows that side of me, okay?” Negan insisted with a heavy sigh and you smiled. Shit, maybe smiling wasn’t the best idea, but you couldn’t help it. The fact that no one else saw that side of Negan made you happy. With how you felt about Negan, you couldn’t help finding yourself thankful to hear something like that. That meant you were special to him, at least you hoped that was the case. “I’m a little uncomfortable with the fact that you are so new and…”

“And what?” you snickered and you could see the frown that pressed in over his lips. Patting over the center of his chest softly, you shook your head and smiled. “It’s okay Negan, no one is going to know anything about any of this. I promise.”

“It’s just…I can’t really sleep at night, but with you…” Negan reached out to caress his large fingers over your jawline. He traced over your features softly and you leaned into his caress. You loved hearing him talking to you like that and loved the feeling of him touching you like he was. “There is something about you that comforts me and I just…I don’t know what you’ve done to me.”

“I don’t think I did anything to you. I think there has been a part of you like this in there that whole time,” you reached your hand up to press it in over his and you could feel him breathing heavily beneath you. “So none of your wives…they’ve never seen that side of you?”

“I don’t even let them sleep with me. I mean, I sleep with them, but I don’t…sleep with them,” Negan blurted out with an eye roll with how dumb he clearly just sounded trying to explain things to you. His right hand reached up motioning you to grab a hold of his hand. He squeezed his fingers around yours and he shrugged. “The other girls...have you met them?”

“I’ve seen two of them. It was a little confusing to me as to why you are interested in me when I saw them. According to Michael…Sherry is your favorite…” you sighed heavily realizing that you must have sound jealous because Negan let out a small snort before raising your hand to his lips to deposit a small kiss over the back of it. His large dimples caught your attention as you sighed and couldn’t help, but smile.

“The jealousy is cute, but the fact that you don’t realize how fucking hot you are…I don’t know, charms me a bit…” Negan winked before tracing his fingertips over yours as if he was trying to mesmerize the sensation of your hand in his. “The girls just aren’t very…comforting, I guess. You, the way you touch me and talk to me…I feel safe. I…”

“You?” you breathed latching your fingers with his and you could see the smirk that pressed in over his lips as you bit into your lip. Your eyebrows perked up and you feel him quickly lifting up to press a quick peck over your lips.

“You’re adorable Y/N, you know that?” Negan changed the subject and you sighed in an exaggerated manner. Your heart fluttered a bit hearing him say your name like that. Usually he would call you pet names, but right now hearing the way his deep voice said your name sent chills throughout your body. His nose wrinkled and he rolled his eyes at your previous response. “You really like this sappy shit, don’t you?”

“Yes, I do,” you answered with a firm nod before moving in to press another soft kiss over his lips. “So indulge me for a moment.”

“I trust you Y/N,” he whispered under his breath and you feigned not being able to hear him as he let out a long groan. “I said I trust you. That’s why I like sleeping with you at night. I trust you and you make me feel…safe. God, I suck…that sounds like such a fucking pussy ass thing to say.”

“Negan, stop it,” you hushed him reaching out to grab a tight hold of his jawline and his hazel eyes looked to yours with a confused expression. “Negan, I care about you so much…you have every reason to trust me.”

“Wow…thinking about what you were like the first time you met me…” Negan snorted, his eyes widening as you hooked your fingers with his again. “Fuck. That’s an impressive change there.”

There was a silence between the two of you as you reached up with your free hand to caress through his messy hair. His eyes closed and his jaw clenched when he took in the calming caress you did over his scalp.

“I do care for you differently than the others…Dwight sees it,” Negan sighed heavily as his eyes lazily opened and his admission seemed to shock you a bit. “The other girls, they are good for…things.”

“Uh huh,” you bit on your lip trying not to get irritated with what he was hinting at and he shrugged. Obviously he was trying to be respectful enough to not be as blunt as he usually was with you.  “What about it though?”

“It’s just, with you...I like being around you. The sex is fucking great, but none of the other girls would have had the fucking lady nuts to tie me up to get revenge on me,” he snickered and you let out a heavy laugh thinking back to when you tied him up to his chair. “They are too afraid of me or simply only care what I can do for them. I’m not really fucking sure they care for me that much to listen to my woes or care about my headaches. None of them would ever think of holding me like that…”

“And these are your wives?” you kind of mocked him in that moment and could see the glare he gave you. Shrugging, you didn’t know how to respond to that. “I’m not one of them and you trust me the most. There is just something off about that. Then again, with what Michael said about Sherry…”

“Fuck what Michael says. He’s a little prick who is mad at me because…okay, I understand why he’s mad at me, but what I feel for Sherry, she’s just…”Negan stopped mid-sentence and let out an aggravated tone. “I don’t know what to say without you getting irritated with me. Fuck man, I shouldn’t give a shit about worrying about upsetting you, but I do.  I just…she’s fucking hot okay? And there is something about rubbing shit in Dwight’s face every time she kisses me and…”

“I get it; the fact that you are worried about irritating me is good enough. I get it,” you held your hand up and he frowned again. “What does Dwight care if you trust me?”

“I worry about you. I don’t want you hurt. When you were sick that time, I don’t know. I don’t usually give a flying fuck if someone dies. What’s the fucking point anymore, but I didn’t want you hurt,” Negan informed you, reaching up with his free hand to brush your hair out of your face and he shrugged. “You’re special. You…while you killing those fucking walkers the other day was hot as hell, I just…was scared as fuck. You stand for something that used to be good in my life, the way you talk to me. The way that you look at me…”

You reached out to caress over the side of his face in a tender manner and he nodded… “That’s the look right there. It…just…fuck. I’m getting ridiculous now. See if people heard me talking about this. If people saw what happened last night or heard about my nightmares…”

“No one is going to know Negan…” you tried to insist, but his expression seemed to feel as if that wasn’t the case. “It’s okay Negan, when we are out of this room I promise I will never hold any of what happened against you, okay? I won’t tell a soul. Out of this room, I’ll act like you are the big bad Negan that everyone thinks you are.”

Negan smirked and leaned up to meet your lips in a small kiss before he cupped your face in his large hands and sighed heavily. You could see by his eye movement that he was still thinking heavily about everything that was happening with you. You knew he was vulnerable and you knew that he was worried about the way he felt about you.  

“We all have nightmares Negan. It’s okay,” you tried to assure him, but you could tell that he was still uncomfortable with allowing you to see a part of him that people didn’t think exist. “As far as Dwight thinking I’m bad for you, he can go fuck himself. Simon told me that I needed to deck his ass and I’m thinking he deserves it.”

“While I don’t disagree with that shit,” Negan’s nose wrinkled as he spoke. “I just think if he sees that I’m vulnerable around you or if people know about last night, they will start thinking that I’m not a reliable leader of The Sanctuary. That I’m not strong or I’m not the man in charge…”

“No one will ever begin to think that,” you tried to assure him, but knew that your words would not make him think otherwise. Sighing heavily, you thought of a way to get his mind off the situation before biting down into your bottom lip. Sliding your hand down, you traced over his nipple hearing a heavy breath escape his lips when he arched his torso slightly up off the bed. “If you want, we can still pretend that you are the big bad Negan that everyone thinks you are. I’m absolutely one hundred percent okay with that…”

“Oh yeah?” Negan muttered with an amused breath as you lowered your head to twirl your tongue around his nipple. A sharp hiss escaped his lips as you bit into his flesh and felt his hand gripping tightly at your lower back. Tugging slightly on his nipple with your teeth made him let out a tight moan before you released it and twirled your tongue around it again. “You’d keep what happened last night between the two of us?”

“I’m not even sure what it is you are talking about,” you feigned innocence as you lifted your head to meet his glance. A smile pressed in over his lips as you reached your hand beneath the blankets to grasp his manhood through the material of his boxers. “The only Negan I know is the powerful one that loves to be in charge. The one that gets what he wants…when he wants. The one that owns me and everyone here…”

Negan groaned as you sat up slowly and pulled the blankets from his body. You gave him a final look before reaching for the top of his boxers. Pulling the material back, you reached out to grab a soft hold of his slightly hardened cock in your hand and licked over your lips.

“What would you like Negan?” you slurred feeling him reaching out to grab a tight hold of your neck and you let out a moan. While you loved his sweet and sensitive side, you were just desperately trying to get his mind off other things that were making him worry.

His grip tightened a bit as your hand caressed over his flesh trying to get him harder. His groan filled the air as he sat up partially in the bed and met you in a kiss. His kiss was rough as his tongue flicked against yours before he bit into your bottom lip.

“Who do you belong to?” Negan growled out and you smiled proudly, glad that the movement you had done had caused him to quickly think of something more beyond the situation that he had at hand earlier. When you didn’t answer, you felt his grip tightening and you let out a satisfied sound. God, you loved when he grabbed your throat like that. It turned you on more than it should have, but you enjoyed it so much. “Huh?”

“Negan,” you slurred and you could see the proud smile that pressed in over his sexy features before he lowered back down against the pillows. His hips arched up into your caress as he wrapped his left arm around the back of his head. Again, there was that cocky smile that hooked you to him in the first place as you lowered you lips toward his abdomen. His erection was stiff and pulsating in your hand as you smiled. “Do you like that?”

“Mhmm…but I think you know what I want,” Negan bit into his lip while reaching down to grab a hold of the base of his erection. “Suck it.”

“Yes sir,” you licked over your bottom lip before changing your position to be able to get a better access to his body.

Teasing your tongue over the veins in his cock made him let out a tight groan before he led his body closer to your mouth. He teased the head of his body over your lips before biting into his bottom lip. You gave him one final look before wrapping your lips around the tip of his cock, sucking slowly as you grabbed a firm hold of his shaft. His grip released his own body before his hand grabbed a handful of your hair and led your mouth further down his body.

“Fuck…” he hissed when you complied with his the motions he set of your mouth over his length. Your hand pumped over him at the same tempo of your mouth making his hips arch up from the bed toward you. Pulling away, you caressed the dampness of your saliva over his length before wrapping your lips around him again. “You know what one of my fucking favorite things about you is?”

“What’s that?” you made a popping sound when you pulled your lips away from his body. Your hand continued to caress over his length as he smiled widely down at you. Licking over your lips, you savored the taste of him before going in to flick your tongue over the underside of his erection.

“You pay attention to details and I fucking love it. You notice what I fucking like and you pick up on signals very fucking well…” Negan threw his head back into the pillows, the veins in his neck popping out a bit as he groaned. “I fucking love that…”

A laugh escaped your lips and the vibration of it must have done something against his body as he trembled a bit. Getting up from the position you were in made him let out an uncomfortable sound and you hushed him. Reaching for his boxers, you pulled the material from his body completely ridding your bra and panties.

“Ah, so you are in a selfish mood today, huh?” Negan teased as you swatted at his chest when you crawled in over his lap. Your left hand braced in over the center of his abdomen to balance yourself while your right hand reached beneath you to grab a firm hold of his manhood in your hand. Caressing it a few times, you led it toward your entrance and let out a gasp when you felt Negan’s hips shoot up into you. Falling forward, you felt his large body enter yours and you tried bracing yourself over him. He bit heavily into his bottom lip when your glance met his. “I don’t think I’ll get over how fucking tight you are.”

“Do you always have to be in control of this?” you whimpered as he gave you a crooked smirk knowing that you were trying to take advantage of the situation. He shrugged before taking his right arm and putting that behind his head as well.

“You want control, go ahead…” Negan smirked and you couldn’t believe how extraordinarily cocky he looked right now. It had been quite a difference from a few minutes ago. Firmly placing your right hand over the center of his abdomen, you carefully moved your hips over him hearing him let out a long, heavy breath. “I don’t know how long I can give you that though…”

You could hear him let out an impatient breath as you smiled before rising up to the tip of his body before lowering completely down over him. A heavy groan escaped his lips as he looked down to stare at where the two of you were connected. Circling your body over him, you took in the sensation of him deep within you and let out a tight cry. Negan’s jaw clenched and he pulled his right arm from behind his head before reaching out to caress his fingertips between your folds. His thumb caressed over your clitoris making you let out a moan before rocking your hips in a faster motion over his length.

“Good girl…God, this view is so fucking hot…” Negan slid his tongue in over his bottom lip again as you continued to rock over him slowly. His eyebrows tensed as you moved over him at a different angle and it was one you could tell he liked. “The sight of your pretty little pussy filled with my cock…”

Biting into your lip, you tried to keep the tempo between the two of you slow, but you could feel Negan’s hand sliding in over your hip to try and quicken the pace between the two of you. Reaching out to smack at his hand you could hear him groan before reaching up to press his large hand over your breast squeezing it softly. Your hands reached back to brace over his hair covered thighs and a heavy grunt escaped his lips when you started sinking your body to his base before rising to the tip over and over. The more you did it, the harder your motions got and you could feel his thighs flexing beneath your grasp. Your pulse was pounding inside your chest and you could feel the pressure inside of your body building.

“Jesus…fuck…that’s good,” Negan tossed his head back into the pillows as your nails bit into the skin on his thigh when you grabbed the flesh harder. You could feel your body reacting to his in ways it hadn’t yet in this position and you could feel your eyes slamming shut. “Damn baby girl, I don’t think I can keep still much longer…”

Letting out an aggravated sound, you felt him adjusting himself into a sitting propped up position. His left arm wrapped around your waist before rocking you roughly over him. Tipping your head back, you allowed his lips to nip and bite over the flesh of you neck as he groaned against your skin. Another groan escaped his lips when you felt his thrusts beneath you getting harder and you clutched tightly onto his shoulders.

“Damn it,” Negan’s nose nestled against the side of you neck when he felt your nails biting into his skin again making him hiss out heavily against your flesh. His mouth seemed to eagerly rise to meet yours when you felt both of his hands reach down to grab a tight hold of your hips. His tongue swirled around yours, teasing you relentlessly before tipping his head back. The sounds you were making seemed to please him all the more as he let out a proud laugh. “You are not quiet today Y/N. Everyone is going to know we’re awake…”

“I don’t care,” you tried aiding to the power of your body over him and could hear the slapping sounds that your skin made when it connected with his. He was grunting heavily beneath you and it seemed to be the most expressive that he had been with you thus far. A heavy gasp escaped your lips when you felt him shoving you backward toward the bottom of his bed before he quickly moved his body in over yours. “Damn it Negan…”

“I let you have your time,” Negan huffed with a crooked smile, reaching his left hand up to grab a tight hold of the base of your throat to keep you where you were. His mouth lowered to press hot, wet kisses over your collarbone before teasing his tongue over your breast and twirling it around your nipple. “It’s something I have to get used to. I’m the one in charge…”

Closing your eyes tightly, you reached up to wrap your right hand around his wrist of the hand that was holding your throat. His grip tightened and you could feel your breath getting caught up a bit while your other arm wrapped around his shoulders.

“Who does this tight little pussy belong to?” Negan started thrusting extremely hard over you and you tipped your head back feeling his grip getting tighter. His hips pounded into you over and over again and you could feel a strong ache in your body. It was evident that you were going to reach your orgasm and he could tell by the way your body clenched around his. “Who owns this pussy?”

“Negan…” you managed to mutter in a whisper with the forcefulness of his fingers wrapped around your throat. Moaning out, you could feel his body slapping up into yours and you cried out. There was a flash of white in your eyes and you could have sworn you were about to black out until you felt his hand release your throat. Clinging to him tightly, you could feel his motions stop for a moment and his lips were over yours. His kiss was rough as your hand released his wrist. “Jesus...that was...”

“We’re not done,” Negan huffed letting out an uncomfortable noise when he felt you grabbing a hold of his throat. A laugh followed as he urged your hand further up into the position he wanted and motioned you to grab a tighter hold of his thick neck. “That a girl…”

“You like this?” you breathed desperately meeting his lips in another kiss as you could feel his plunging motions getting harder and harder within you. You were going to be raw again, you could just tell. Hearing the sound of the door opening, you could feel your body clenching up as Negan looked up and you knew someone was there. “Negan…stop…”

“What the fuck Dwight?” Negan managed to get out as you quickly released his throat and tried to get out from underneath Negan, but he wouldn’t let you move. His face was red from the motions of how he was trying to have you grasp his neck, but it was probably mixed with anger as well. “I’m a little fucking busy right now…”

“Negan, get up. Off…” you tried to push your hand into his chest, not happy with the idea that Dwight was clearly getting to see the two of you buck ass naked together and having sex. Negan left out a heavy sigh and pressed his right arm over your breasts trying to appease you by keeping you covered. “Dwight, fucking leave.”

“I just…there is that thing we need to talk about. The prisoner, it’s really important,” Dwight’s voice stammered as Negan laughed and lowered his head. Negan was still inside of you and anyone that could walk by would know what the two of you were doing. “Negan, I’m not kidding. It’s important.”

“And so is me getting to cum right now, so if you could kindly fuck off,” Negan rumbled looking down at you with a smile when he realized that you were embarrassed. “I’m right in the middle of something here.”

“I see that, but…” Dwight let out an aggravated noise, but Negan ignored his words, shocking you with his movements.

“Not in front of…” your words were cut off feeling Negan’s hands moving and urging your thighs tightly around his hips as he started his movements over you again. You were so embarrassed of the idea of Dwight seeing the two of you have sex, but Negan didn’t seem to care. “Negan…”

“Hey, if the pervert wants to fucking watch, that’s his choice. We were right in the fucking middle of something,” Negan’s lips pressed in over the side of your neck and you could feel his rough beard pressing against your skin. You tried to be okay with the idea of Negan being alright with Dwight being there, but you just couldn’t find it in yourself to be comfortable with this. Hearing the sound of a feminine voice made you clench around him harder and he groaned out. His right hand pressed heavily beside your body, trying to keep himself steady over you.

“Is Negan…” you tipped your head back to see Sherry with Dwight and you covered your eyes in a very embarrassed manner.

“Oh fucking hell! What is this, a fucking family reunion? Get the fuck out of here, right now!” Negan demanded, stopping his movements and getting up on his knees. He pointed toward the door, his body glistening with sweat as he pointed firmly again. “The two of you need to fuck off right now. We were in the middle of fucking, I will fucking leave my room when I’m damn near ready. Until then, fuck off!”

“Yes Negan,” you could feel your face on fire from the embarrassment and you could feel Negan’s hands caressing over your soaked thighs. You weren’t really that into voyeurism, but Negan seemed to not mind so much. He only made a big deal about it because you were upset.

“Hey Dwight, leave the door open would you?” Negan snickered when you looked up to see Dwight was still in the doorway holding onto the handle. Dwight gave Negan an odd glance before moving with Sherry away from the door. Both of them seemed irritated as Negan smiled and lowered in closer to you. Your hands pressed up into the center of his chest to keep him away and Negan shrugged. He left the door open even though he knew that you weren’t comfortable with the idea. “Come on? You don’t like the idea that anyone can walk by and see us? That all of The Sanctuary can hear us?”

“Not really,” you answered honestly, feeling the grip on your thighs tightening as he pressed them apart before starting to plow into you again. His thrusts were so hard that you were almost certain he was trying to make you loud for all of the people to hear. “Negan…damn it.”

“You are mine…I am perfectly okay with everyone knowing that,” Negan huffed again, tipping forward to meet your lips in a kiss before biting into your bottom lip. His breaths were heavy with each thrust he made forward into you and his groans told you he was getting close. “Grab my throat again…”

“Okay…” you sighed heavily, trying to give him what he liked as you grabbed a hold of the area that he had shown you.

His groans were heavy against your lips and your free hand desperately reached around him to clutch his small bottom to force his movements harder into you. Tossing your head back, you could feel your body reaching its release again and it definitely wasn’t quiet. Negan was definitely proud of it, but it was clear that your orgasm sent him over the edge as his moans filled the air. His thrusts were rough, but slowing down as you felt his warm release inside of you making you bite down heavily on your bottom lip.

“I want you to think of me this way,” Negan breathed against your lips with a long breath before urging your hand away from his throat. He looked up toward the door that was still empty knowing that people wouldn’t dare come back after what happened, but he was amused that he could make you so uncomfortable. He shrugged his shoulders before laying over you, resting his head against your collarbone after your intense sex session. You caressed your fingertips through is wet hair and could feel him tracing his fingertips over your soaked torso. “But I’m still okay with you thinking of me as the other Negan Y/N. As long as you keep it between the two of us.”

Breathing heavily, you could still feel your heart pounding in your chest after what just took place. You did what you did to get his mind off things, but he had still clearly been thinking about everything. As he laid over you and you caressed over his scalp again you clearly realized that if you played your cards right, you would be able to see that side of Negan more often since he seemed to be comfortable with you. There was still the naughty side of Negan that clearly existed, but there was the vulnerable side too that liked to be held by you. Either way around it, you wanted to believe that this wouldn’t make your relationship more complicated, but realized that might now be the case.  


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After spending the morning with Negan, the OC (reader) wanders around The Sanctuary and discovers one of his prisoners is Daryl.

“Good God,” Negan’s warm breath pressed in over the side of your neck making you let out a whimper when you felt him falling in over you. His chest pressed firmly against your back and you could feel his wet body pressing in over your damp skin. Your body ached and your toes curled from the sheer pleasure that you had felt from your moments with Negan. Closing your eyes tightly, you focused on the sensation of his chest rising and falling heavily while it was pressed up against your back. God, the sensation just drove your wild when you felt his warm breath etching over the side of your sensitive flesh. A groan escaped his throat and it caused you to tremble beneath him. Just the simple sound of his groan would cause your body to react in so many different ways.

Lowering your head, you could feel his mouth pressing sloppy kisses over the side of your neck and you let out a heavy sigh. The sensation of his tongue flicking over your skin sent chills down your body and you felt like you were in an extreme state of bliss. The amount of pleasure that Negan brought you every time you were with him was absolutely amazing. You could have never imagined that being with Negan would have made you this happy and made you feel this great. The things that Negan could do to you, the things that he could make you feel absolutely blew your mind. Every time the two of you slept together, it felt like a new experience and it was something that you absolutely lived for. Tipping your head back, you allowed him better access to your neck as you felt him biting into the side of your neck, teasing the heated flesh.

You had no idea how Negan still had another round in him, but he sure as hell did and the two of you had just finished. You had tried to get Negan to close the door during this round, but he was still insistent to keep it open. He wanted to make it clear you were his and you were pretty sure that the people at The Sanctuary got the hint. This time it didn’t bother you as much that he left the door open. It was surprising how easily you were becoming comfortable with the things that Negan wanted. Your old self would have never been okay with things like this, but that seemed to be the effect that Negan had you. He changed you in more ways than you ever could have imagined.

Negan nestled his nose against the side of your neck and an uncontrollable smile pressed in over your lips. A growl escaped his lips and the sound vibrated against the side of your neck making you bite into your bottom lip and let out a heavy sigh. Negan’s rough fingertips reached around to grab a tight hold of your jawline and you let out a satisfied sound for him. Your body tensed when you felt the weight of his body over yours shifting and you found yourself not wanting to leave this very moment.

A small giggle escaped your lips when the sensation of his stubble pressed in over your skin and you could feel him smile against the side of your neck. Reaching back, you hooked your fingertips into his wet hair and let out a pleasant sound when you felt him biting at your skin again.

“Fuck…” Negan spoke quietly against the side of your neck, his free hand squeezing over your hip in an aggressive grip and you felt your body tensing against his. You ached, you ached in a good way, but you could still tell that Negan made you raw just like he had planned. “You are going to be the death of me girl…”

“Me? Be the death of you?” you let out a sound of displeasure when you felt his body pulling away from yours and you felt him turning you to face him on the bed. A cocky smirk pressed in over his lips as he lowered in closer to you to press another kiss against your lips. His hand caressed up and over the side of your neck as you wrapped your arm around his shoulders. He was looking at you different than normal. When you had sex, Negan was still rough, but since last night he had been acting different toward you and you liked it. The soft caress his rough fingertips had over you felt amazing and just having him look at you like he was made you feel like you were on top of the world with him. “I’m pretty sure I’m going to be the one aching all day.”

“Mhmm, but it’s fucking worth it. Right?” Negan’s deep voice made another chill run down your spine. You loved how deep the tone of his voice was and when he would make cocky comments, it only seemed to turn you on more. In the past Negan’s arrogance would have annoyed you, but now you found it extremely charming. A smile had perked in over the corners of his lips, his dimples showing clearly again and you let out a long sigh. Those dimples were one of the first things that attracted you to Negan and whenever you saw them, you couldn’t control the amount of lust you had for him.

“Worth it to be with you,” you caressed your fingertips through his damp hair and could feel his head resting at the side of your neck. Sliding your hand down, you caressed over his the tight muscles at the base of his neck and could hear him groan against the side of your neck. Tipping up, you caressed your lips in over his firm shoulder, taking the time to softly bite at the skin. “You have a lot of energy in you, you know that?”

“You fucking know it,” Negan snickered against your skin before pulling back enough to give you another cocky grin. “Though, not usually this early in the morning and not one after another. I usually need some kind of down time between these kinds of things…”

“Must be the person you are with,” you teased when you felt him pinch at your bottom making a gasp escape your lips when he did it. A laugh fell from both of your lips when you watched the bridge of his nose wrinkle. “I’m just saying the girl you are with, she must be pretty great.”

“Getting a little cocky, if you ask me,” Negan winked when you slid your palm in over the side of his chiseled jawline. You took the time to stare him over before leaning up to kiss him softly. When you pulled away from his lips, you felt his forehead resting against yours and you could feel an ache in your chest when you thought about this moment. What you thought you had with Negan was perfect, but you knew that you weren’t his one and only. This was only a temporary thing he had with you before going off to one of his wives and that absolutely killed you on the inside. It was part of the bargain when you first started things and you knew that, but you enjoyed your time with Negan so much that you couldn’t help finding yourself jealous. “What’s on your mind?”

“Oh nothing,” you lied to him knowing that the two of you had gone over this before, but it was clear that nothing would be changed. You weren’t that special. You weren’t even one of his wives, you were considered ‘the mistress’ in Negan’s world here at The Sanctuary. You had no right to be jealous. “I was just thinking about how I don’t know how I’ll be able to do things today. I’m sore as hell.”

“Take the day off,” he simply suggested with a growl as you let out a small laugh. “I mean it, take the day off. Roam, do whatever you want within reason. Don’t go sneaking in places you don’t belong or shit like that, but anything you want to do…do it. Fuck, if you want, just sleep. You’re my girl and my girl should be able to do what she wants. My orders…and fucking listen to them this time.”

“I listened last time,” you piped in and when you said that, you watched Negan lean his head back to eye you over. His eyebrow arched up and he licked over his bottom lip almost waiting for you to call yourself out on your own lie. “Alright, so I listened for a couple of hours.”

“Mhmm, you’re lucky I fucking like you so much. Most people who disobey me get fucking punished and not in the way you have been with me,” Negan informed you with a stern tone and you knew that was absolutely the truth. It was something that had worried you for quite some time, but you had realized that Negan seemed to let you get away with more things that others could. “You need to start obeying me at some point though, you fucking know?”

Negan gave you an angered expression and you almost believed him for a moment before he cracked a smile and leaned down to nip over the side of your neck. A laugh escaped your lips when you heard Negan snort at your laughter. Negan huffed against the side of your neck and you laughed again, reaching up with your free hand to press your fingertips into his still very soaked, dark hair. Urging him to meet your lips in another kiss, you could feel him smiling against the motion and you couldn’t believe you actually found yourself this happy with Negan.

“I should be getting work done. Either working with The Saviors to get some things done in here or outside the walls. To prove my worth,” you reminded him and he frowned when you pulled back from him. “I didn’t do that bad the other day.”

“I’d still rather you be one of my wives. I don’t like the fucking people I care about being out there, risking themselves. Shit, I get nervous whenever I send Simon outside of those walls,” Negan insisted and you gave him an arched eyebrow and he frowned. “What?”

“Aw, you care about Simon. How sweet,” you teased him and saw Negan roll his eyes before sitting up on the edge of the bed. “Where are you going?”

“While I would absolutely love to fuck you all day long and trust me, that sounds like the perfect way to spend my day…I have to get up and moving. Dwight clearly had some fucking problem going on or some shit, so before he fucks everything up, I need to get moving,” Negan stood up from the bed and watched you frown. He reached out to grab a hold of your hand to quickly pull you up to him. You fell in against his chest and reached your hand up to caress your fingers over the center of his chest. Playing with his chest hair, you could hear his breathing increase and you looked up to see him staring out at you with his hooded hazel eyes. “But we are both rather fucking dirty and I think we need to shower before that shit happens.”

Negan helped you gather your clothes to get dressed before pulling on some pants and leading you toward the showers. In the showers, Negan hadn’t spoken much. He helped you out of your clothes and pulled you under the water with him. This time things weren’t about sex when the two of you were naked together. Negan’s hands had caressed over your body in a very sensual manner, taking time to caress over every inch of your body and had helped you in lathering your body up with soap. Negan had allowed you to do the same for him, but when you had felt his arms wrap around you tightly from behind and his chin rest on your shoulder, you found yourself absolutely lost in the moment.

“Negan?” you whispered feeling his arms tightening around your body and you could feel him pressing a soft kiss over your shoulder while the water continued to pour down in over the both of your bodies. “What’s going on between the two of us?”

“What do you mean?” Negan breathed against the side of your neck and you reached down to grab a hold of his hands, squeezing them tightly and you let out a long sigh. “I think it’s very fucking obvious what we have been doing here…”

“I don’t mean the sex Negan. That’s fantastic, but…I feel for you, quite a bit and I think the feeling is mutual,” you turned in his arms and could see his hazel eyes staring out at you, almost shocked by your words. “You told me last night that I reminded you of someone special. That you felt safe with me and that you trusted me. That no one else knew the side of you that I saw…that means that I have to be something more than just some fling, right?”

“Darling,” Negan smiled, reaching up to press his fingertips in over the center of your lips to silence you. You sighed heavily against his fingers and felt him curling his arms around your body pulling you in closer to him. He tipped down to press a slow, soft kiss over your lips that gradually deepened and when you felt the flick of his tongue over yours, you felt your body wanting to give in completely to him again. He pulled away for a moment and shook his head. “You overthink things…”

“Negan…” you frowned, pulling away slightly when Negan leaned in to try and kiss you again. He frowned and reached up with his right hand to slide his thumb in over your bottom lip. He traced over the slightly swelled flesh for a moment before shrugging. “I’m serious…”

“What do you want me to say here?” Negan let out a nervous laugh and could feel an ache in the center of your chest as you looked up at him. He shrugged and was clearly thinking of something to say, but was at a loss for words. “I’m not a sappy motherfucker, so if that’s what you are looking for…”

“I’m just asking you what this is. Do you actually consider me as something more than just…a fuck here and there or what?” you let out a heavy sigh and you watched Negan reach up to press his hands through his hair to slick it back. “Am I really special like you say or…what is this between the two of us?”

“Listen…” Negan sighed reaching up to caress over your wet jawline with his rough fingertips and he frowned when he thought about what you said. He shrugged his shoulders, his expressive eyebrows arching up when he tried to think of what was the right answer here. “I don’t know what you want me to fucking say. I’m sorry; I’m not good with this shit.”

“I don’t know, I just…” you heard someone clearing their throat uneasily and looked back to see Dwight in the doorway of the showers again. You didn’t care that he was the seeing the two of you naked again. Dwight had been around enough to see you guys together, hell, you were getting used to it.

“Yeah, I’ll be right there,” Negan snapped as Dwight huffed and moved away from the opening of the showers. Negan nudged your jaw playfully with his fingertips before tipping down to kiss you quickly and stepping back. “You can finish up in here, but I’m serious. Take the day off. Roam. Do whatever you want, just don’t fucking work? Okay? I need you to be in good shape the next time we’re together and don’t get into fucking trouble.”

“Yeah,” you could feel an ache in your chest with the way that things were left off. Negan’s only response to what you said was quite blunt and lacked a total amount of emotion. You thought you meant more to Negan, but now you were starting to wonder if that truly was the case.

You finished up your shower and listened to Negan afterwards. You got dressed and started to roam The Sanctuary. You went to places that you never had wandered before. Areas that you really never had the need to go to because you were just used to what you were used to doing there. There was one thing that was common amongst everyone. They all seemed extremely miserable. They were working and always looking over their shoulders. Those that weren’t, were part of Negan’s Saviors crew.

Stopping at a room, you could see that it was the area that Negan had kept his wives. They were all clad in tight black dresses and wearing black heels. Leaning against the entrance to the door, you watched them as they were all cramped inside of the room. Some of them were playing chess and others were reading. A blonde was sitting by the window looking out and she seemed quite miserable. The fact that Negan wanted you to be one of his wives kind of disgusted you now that you were watching them. They were all carbon copies of each other. Obviously they were all very different, but wearing the same thing and being forced to sit in a room together…was this really what Negan wanted from women?

“So you’re Negan’s newest infatuation, huh?” a voice pressed in behind you and you looked over your shoulder to see Sherry standing behind you. Turning to face her, she gave you a disgusted expression and you were confused. Hell, you had never even talked to the girl before and she was standing before you giving you the stink eye. From what you had heard around The Sanctuary, she was still very much in love with Dwight and hated Negan as it was. “So what makes you better than us?”

“Come again?” you let out a hesitant laugh when Sherry folded her arms out in front of her chest. Her lips tightened and she gave you a disgusted once over. “I’m sorry; I don’t know what you mean.”

“You get away with things. You get to leave; you get to sleep with him at night. You aren’t even one of his wives. What makes you so damn special?” Sherry snapped again and you felt an uncontrolled laugh escape your lips when you looked her over. Her face scrunched up and you shook your head slowly. When Sherry had walked in with Dwight to see you and Negan having sex, you almost assumed that Dwight would be the one to give you shit. Not her. “What’s so funny?”

“Nothing, I’m clearly in the wrong place. I’ll leave,” you tried to be polite feeling Sherry’s fingers wrapping around your wrist to stop you and you could feel your body clenching tightly. “Please, get your hand off me.”

“Listen, when Negan has had enough of what he has wanted from you, he’s going to toss you to the side. He’s done it before and he will do it again. You aren’t special, you know that right?” Sherry blurted out and you could feel her grip on your wrist tightening. “You think you are going to be the one that makes Negan fall in love and want you to be his one and only? That’s never going to happen.”

“I’m going to ask you again, let go of my wrist,” you replied trying to ignore her comments, tugging your wrist forward roughly making her fall forward with your force. You went to walk away again only to have her follow you. “Listen, I don’t know if you heard what happened when I went out for the supplies run, but you don’t want to piss me off because I’m capable of hurting someone like you very easily…”

“I dare you to do that. I’m his favorite. You hurt me and you’re done…” Sherry exclaimed with a proud smile seeing the way that you rolled your eyes and she followed you toward the stairs when you went to walk down them. “You need to stay the fuck away from Negan. You have no idea what you’re getting yourself into…”

“Even if I don’t, I don’t need someone like you telling me what I can and cannot do here,” you stopped when you reached halfway down the stairs and threw your hands up when she glared down at you. “The only person I obey is Negan and you sure as fuck aren’t him. So you can go fuck yourself.”

Sherry’s jaw dropped as you gave her one final smile before continuing down the stairs. Huffing heavily, you moved into the kitchen area to see the people of The Sanctuary standing in lines to clearly get their food and supplies. Watching them closely, you moved to a table to watch things more observantly. 

Were you blind this entire time to things? Maybe you weren’t paying attention to things because from the moment you got to The Sanctuary, you were given everything you could want. A room to yourself with a fridge filled with odds and ends. You were given any food that you wanted. You weren’t forced to be in some kind of point system, but the more that you watched things happen, you could see that the way Negan ran things was clearly hard for the people there. You weren’t even sure how the point system was run, but it was clear that the work that people did wasn’t good enough to get them a decent meal throughout the day. Yet you were given everything that you wanted, no questions asked. Clearly Negan had made it known that you were his new girl and everyone was to treat you appropriately.

Hearing the sounds of bickering going on, you watched someone in line yelling at a young boy when he was holding onto a small loaf of bread. The woman that was in charge of the line was pulling and yanking on the boys arm as you got up from where you were sitting. Pushing through the front of the line, you reached for the woman’s hand and snatched it away from the young boy.

“What the hell is going on here?” you snapped seeing the woman fully prepared to give you a verbal attack until she realized who you were. You carefully pushed the young boy behind you before shrugging your shoulders. “Why aren’t you allowing him to have the bread?”

“He doesn’t have the points, his family hasn’t…” the woman began as you reached for a few things from the table and turned to the boy giving him the food before urging him to leave. You gave the woman a look when the boy ran off and you could see her looking quite nervous. “You aren’t allowed to do that. I get that you are one of Negan’s…I don’t even know what the hell to call you, but there are rules here and…”

“I’ll deal with the consequences…” you reached for a jar of peanut butter and an apple. Giving her another look, you walked off and went to move for your room. When you opened the door, you saw someone sitting on your couch and gasped when you saw Michael sitting there with his legs up on the table that was in front of it. “God, I’ve already had a shitty fucking start to my morning. Could you please leave?”

“Oh? You’ve had a shitty start to your day?” Michael retorted in his thick accent, dropping his feet to the ground, leaning forward on the couch as you moved across the room to set the apple and the peanut butter down. “Try being here for as long as I have. Seeing that fucking bastard walking around here like he has done nothing to hurt any of us…”

“I know. I know he did something to someone you loved. I get it,” you threw your hands up and tried to avoid this whole conversation all together. “I know Negan did something to hurt you. I know he’s done a lot of terrible things…”

“Yet you are his new fuck toy,” Michael snarled in response and you could feel a rage burning up inside of your body as you watched him stand up from the couch. He moved out toward you and you could feel your body tensing as he stepped in closer. His green eyes glared down at you and it was obvious that he was judging you in every way imaginable. “I heard he had a new girl he was fucking with. Someone that he was starting to get his claws into, but I never thought you would be stupid enough to be the one he was fucking…”

Rearing back, you slapped him across the face seeing the tall man before you stumble back before turning to you with a glare. His green eyes were angry and you could feel your hand pinging from your hit as you saw Michael’s eyebrows tighten when he stared out at you.

“Negan would fucking kill you for talking to me like that,” you warned him and you could hear his breathing intensified. He was angry, but you weren’t scared of him. Hell, you weren’t going to back down from someone you barely even knew. He didn’t scare you at all. You understood why he hated Negan, but he had no right to talk to you like he was. “You know that, don’t you?”

“I told you everything about him. I tried to get you to open your eyes to Negan, yet this morning he left his door open for everyone in The Sanctuary to hear him fucking you. Does it turn you on fucking a monster? Is that your thing or are you just as fucked up as he?” Michael’s tone was full of venom as you shook your head and looked toward your opened bedroom door. While you were super angry at him, you didn’t want someone to hear him because you really didn’t want to see him get killed for just being angry with Negan. “Do you think he respects you? Do you think you are special when he lets all of the people hear him fucking plowing you in his bedroom? Do you think that you are…”

“Okay…are you and Sherry like double teaming here today or what?” you let out a laugh, clearly catching him off guard when you shook your head and realized that you were clearly in for a very long day. “I don’t give a shit what you think of me. I don’t care what Sherry thinks of me. So what if I’m fucking Negan? What do you care? It’s not like you have any control of my life and what I do…you just fucking met me. You’re acting like you’ve known me for years; you need to back the fuck off.”

“I can’t wait until he’s done and treats you the same way he treats everyone else,” Michael snarled as you moved for the food you had brought into your room. You didn’t want to stay in here if it meant he was going to harass you. Stopping in the doorway, you could hear him call out again to you. “You are going to do something that pisses him off. You are going to mess up and he’s going to throw you to the fucking curb and you are going to be so fucking screwed. Then all the stuff I warned you about, you’re going to realize how right I was. You’re going to regret not listening to me. You get to do whatever you want right now, but just wait until you are forced to live under the same rules as everyone else.”

“Fuck you Michael, I’m going to leave and you better not be here when I come back,” you could feel a rage burning throughout your body as walked down the hallway toward Negan’s room.

There had to be a place in here where you could be left alone to relax. You looked over your shoulder to see Michael stepping out of your room and you shook your head, knowing you wanted nothing to do with him right now. Both your interactions with Sherry and Michael were short today, but they were significant enough to stress the hell out of you already.

Stopping before you reach Negan’s room, you heard the sound of Negan’s voice and followed the echoes when you stopped in your tracks. You could hear Negan and Dwight talking, but felt your heart stop when you saw Fat Joey holding a gun up and pointing it at Daryl. Tilting your head to the side, you wondered if your mind was playing games with you, but when you heard the sound of someone walking back, you quickly moved aside trying to hide yourself. Stumbling back, you hid in one of the open rooms and watched as Dwight moved passed, shoving Daryl in the other direction. Following them quietly toward the back of The Sanctuary you could see Dwight taking Daryl outside. You stood at the door and watched them for a few minutes, just waiting to make sure that your mind wasn’t fooling you. When the light hit Daryl’s swollen face, you could certainly tell that you were right.

Once or twice Dwight had looked back in your direction and you hoped that you were quick enough to hide yourself from his sight and when you saw him walking back toward the building with Daryl, you hid yourself again. Hiding behind one of the cartons that were in the hallway, you watched Dwight shove Daryl forward toward the cells again and you slowly lifted your body to watch the two of them. Gulping down uneasily, you watched Dwight open one of the cells and toss Daryl into one of them before turning on the radio and leaving.

Getting up slowly, you looked at the cell and knew that you desperately wanted to get in there to see Daryl, but you had to make sure that you were safe. Following the direction that Dwight went, you double checked to make sure he was busy and when you saw him with Negan talking, you knew that you had a few minutes.

Moving back to the cell where you had seen Dwight throw Daryl in, you looked to the music player that was in front of the door and let out a heavy breath. When you first got to The Sanctuary that song drove you crazy and now that you could see that was the song that they were torturing Daryl with, it made you suddenly feel awful.

Looking around the hallway, you surveyed carefully before pulling open the door. The light from the door seemed to shock Daryl as he reached his hand up to block his eyes from the light when you stepped into the dark cell. Carefully looking him over, you could see that his face was swollen from clearly getting beaten. He had certainly looked better as you let out a nervous breath wondering if he would even be able to see or recognize you with how tortured he had clearly been.

“Daryl, is that you?” you whispered carefully moving across the room and you could see Daryl cornering himself back until he got sight of you. You had only been in Alexandria for a small amount of time when you had left, but Daryl was the person that actually had saved you. He was the man that had convinced you to come to Alexandria in hope of better things to come. You were just about ready to give up completely on things until Daryl had saved you from a few walkers. He was the person that persuaded you to have faith in those at Alexandria.

“Y/N?” he muttered in a broken tone, his voice was cracked and he looked like absolute hell as he spoke. Reaching out to try and touch him as he sat before you in a dirty jump suit made him jump back and he give you an odd expression. Shakily lowering your hand, you could see that he was very uneasy with even being around you and you shook your head slowly. Your chest ached just looking at him as you tried to show that you weren’t trying to hurt him. You had no idea how long he had been there and you wondered if he had been there the entire time that you had been at The Sanctuary. There were so many unanswered questions that were popping into your head right now, but you knew that you couldn’t flood him with questions. Not in the state that he was in, not with the way he had been being tortured. All you could think about was how you could help him. What could you do that wouldn’t get both of you killed? You wished you were dreaming, but knew this was reality and when Daryl looked out at you with a confused expression, you knew that he was just as shocked as you were. “The hell you doing here?”

“It’s complicated,” you whispered, moving away as he eyed you over carefully. He looked to the apple and the jar of peanut butter in your hands and you slowly offered them out to him. He eyed you over carefully as if this was a trick, but you didn’t move. From all the times that Dwight had mentioned a prisoner, you could tell that this must have been him. Dwight had to have been doing this for as long as you had been there and it was clear that Daryl trusted no one. Hell, you didn’t blame him. “I swear there is nothing wrong with them. I was just about to eat them myself, but you clearly need them more. Please. Take them.”

Daryl’s eyebrow arched up as he tried to read your intentions before quickly snatching the two items from you. His quickness made you jump before realizing how starving he must have been. You watched him pop open the top of the peanut butter jar before digging his fingers into it and quickly scooping some of it into his mouth. You looked over your shoulder toward the door to make sure that the two of you were safe before moving in closer to Daryl. Lowering yourself to your knees, you watched him as he shoveled it in as quickly as he could.

“How long have you been here?” you questioned and Daryl simply shrugged his shoulders before looking to you. You could see that he was still unsure of why you were there and you sighed heavily. You tried to reach out to touch him, but he pulled away from you hastily.

“What the fuck are you doing here? I thought you were getting supplies,” Daryl blurted out and you thought about what you should tell him. When Negan had first met you, he mentioned Glenn and Abraham, which made things easy for you to piece together. Negan had taken interest in you and clearly had taken interest in Daryl as well. You pictured that you were both in a very similar situation when you met Negan, but things were likely much different and more traumatic with Daryl since Glenn and Abraham were such close friends of his. “Why the fuck are you here and not there? Why are you not in Alexandria with Rick and the rest of em’?”

“There was a group of people that stopped us and we…” you saw Daryl huff heavily before biting into the apple. You had never seen someone eat so fast in your entire life and you could tell that the torture was clearly awful by how he was being. “There was this guy and…”

“Negan,” Daryl muttered and you nodded slowly. There was a silence between the two of you and all you could think about right now was all of the things that Michael had told you. You thought about how you felt for Negan and you were wondering if you were a bad person for caring so much for Negan when he was allowing such terrible things to happen. “He’s trying to make me one of his men. He wants me to be one of his sheep…I ain’t gonna do it. Not ever.”

“He wants you to say you are Negan? To become a Savior?” you whispered seeing Daryl’s jaw tightening and you tried to reach out to touch him. He pulled away from you again before you reached out to finally place your hand over his. Caressing your fingertips over the rough, dirty flesh you could feel his fingertips wrapping around yours and you shook your head. It was clear that Daryl hadn’t felt the touch of a caring person since he had been here, it was likely that any human contact he had was some form of torture. “You should say it. Even if you don’t mean it.”

“That’s not gonna happen. Not after what he did to Glenn and Abraham,” Daryl denied that option and you could feel the ache in your chest growing. A lump formed in the bottom of your throat and you wished that he wasn’t so stubborn. “I will never do that.”

“I don’t want to see you die,” you insisted knowing that Daryl was the only reason that you were still alive. He was the person who made you realize that life was worth more than giving up and seeing him this way really bothered you. You wished that you knew how to fix things. You wished that you could save him, but you were so confused on how to even begin to start to do that. “You need to…”

The door swung open and you could see the light filtering into the room. Gasping out, you felt someone grabbing a hold of your arm pulling you back by your arm roughly. The force was so strong that it knocked you right back onto your bottom, but it didn’t stop the power of the person behind you from dragging you across the room. Two of Negan’s men quickly moved into the room when Daryl went to shoot up to try and help you, but they knocked him to the ground quickly. Both of them beat Daryl as you tried to move out of the grasp. Feeling your body slamming back against the wall, you felt a gloved hand grabbing a hold of jaw as you were forcefully pulled to your feet making you let out a tight wince.

“What the fuckity fucking hell are you doing?” Negan’s voice filled your ears as your eyes met his angered expression. Gasping out, you felt his hand clasping onto your jaw tightly and you looked beyond Negan to the cell door where you could see Daryl laid out in the cell as Negan’s men left the room. Negan slammed you back harder against the wall making you let out another whimper as he demanded your attention. “I asked you what the fuck you think you are doing.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan punishes the OC (reader) after finding her helping Daryl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a bit long, so I apologize for that. Plus it's late, so I'm sure I've got a ton of grammar errors in here. Sorry for that!

“I asked you a question damn it,” Negan snarled as you could feel your heart hammering in your chest. His grip was rough and his expression was extremely angry. His two boys had left as you felt him pushing your body further against the wall. Part of you was worried about Daryl in the cell after the two guys attacked him, but the other part of you was more worried for yourself. You had never seen Negan this furious and never thought you would ever be on the receiving end of his anger after everything that happened between the two of you. “Fucking speak when you’re spoke to!”

“I went in there because I know him. I was walking around and today was the first time I’ve seen him. You were in the hallway talking to Dwight about something and I saw him. I didn’t know how to react, I just…I don’t know what I was thinking,” you answered truthfully, letting out a pained noise when you felt Negan’s fingers digging into your skin. Your words came out in a stutter, but you tried to keep your composure as good as possible. His grip hurt, but by his expression you could see that he simply didn’t give a shit that it did. Clenching your eyes shut tightly, you tried to focus on explaining to him why things happened the way they did. You wanted to appeal to his better half to try to get him to relax, but you could tell by his breathing that was going to be a hard task. “Daryl is the person that saved me and took me to Alexandria. I saw him and I just…I don’t know. I had to see him…”

“You had to fucking see him?” Negan laughed shoving your jaw aside and releasing it. He dragged you toward the corner of the hallway and forced you to sit on top of one of the containers. He paced back and forth and placed his hand over his head as he thought things over. It seemed like he had a war going on in his head as he thought about what to do with you. You could see him shoot you the occasional glare and you didn’t know what to say. Your pulse was racing and you could feel your body involuntarily trembling. This wasn’t the man you were used to seeing, this was someone completely furious with your actions and you didn’t know how to help yourself. “I didn’t want to believe Dwight when he said that you were fucking sneaking around. I didn’t want to fucking believe that you broke my rules and ignored what I fucking asked you to do today, again.”

“I was doing what you asked me to,” you blurted out desperately trying to get him to listen to you and you could see his glare meeting your expression. You had never seen him look at you like this before and you found yourself at a loss for words. Tossing your hands up, you gave him a frown and tried to get him to focus on what you were saying. “You told me to roam, so I was roaming. I was only walking around this morning Negan. That’s all I was doing. I was heading to your room because I was having a bad day and that’s when I saw Daryl. I swear I was doing what you asked…”

“Yet you still went in to see Daryl,” Negan pointed out and you felt your throat go dry. Looking down toward the ground you heard Negan release a frustrated breath and you shrugged your shoulders. You couldn’t lie to him. Yes, you went in to see Daryl, but what more could you say? “Then I also hear you are breaking some of my rules to get people things...you can’t just keep breaking my rules and getting away with it. I know Sherry said that you were harassing her and the rest of my fucking wives, but this…”

“Whoa, hold on. I wasn’t harassing anyone, that’s a fucking lie,” you threw your hands up, seeing Negan’s face scrunch up in disbelief as he looked down at you. You could feel a rage building up inside of you as you heard Negan’s words about Sherry. “Negan, I will admit. I gave a kid some food. I will not lie about that and yes, I was in there with Daryl and I gave him some of the food that was mine, but Negan…I didn’t harass your wives. You told me to go walking around and I went for a walk. I saw the room that they are kept in, but I went to leave. Sherry started harassing me and I left…I swear.”

“Come on Y/N, you are fucking jealous of them and you’ve told me that plenty of fucking times,” Negan pointed out with a snarl and you could feel the rage in your body growing.

“Sherry is a god damn liar. I did not harass them. I did the other things, but if you are going to be mad at me, then be mad at me for those. I wouldn’t fucking lie to you,” you spurt out and Negan stood before you, his chest rising and falling heavily as he stared down at you with his displeased expression. His brow line was tense and you could see his fist was clenched tightly at his side. This was the first time you had actually seen him this angry. Let alone this angry with you. The sounds of his breathing were broken up and you shook your head, trying to reach out to touch him. He pulled away from you with a hiss and you felt your body stumbling back. “Please Negan, you can be mad….”

“I’m not mad at you,” Negan kneeled before you, reaching out with his gloved had again to grab a hold of your jaw, pulling you closer to him. His breath grew heavier in your face as you could feel your body trembling more than you expected it to. You didn’t want to act scared, you didn’t want to believe that he would hurt you, but the first time you met him, he did actually kill someone in front of you and that image was starting to fill through head. You told yourself that you would be strong in front of him, to act brave, but now that he was acting this way, you found yourself scared. He wasn’t even angry when he killed the guy that was with you in your group. “I’m fucking furious.”

There was a silence between the two of you as he lowered his head and you could feel his hand dropping from your jaw. He was cussing under his breath as you stayed still. There was so much you wanted to say, you wanted to defend your actions, but at the same time you were worried about upsetting him.

“Negan, I’m very sorry, okay? I just…it was a kid. He was hungry and I didn’t think using my food privileges was a bad thing that to help a kid. I know you like kids Negan, I can see it in the way you interact with them. You wouldn’t have wanted him to starve,” you tried to reason with Negan as he looked up at you, still seeming angry as you tried to reach out to cup his face. Caressing over his firm jawline, you could feel his body tense against yours, but you were hoping that since he let you touch him, maybe you were appealing to the side that you had grown to learn over the last day or so. “Negan, Daryl was the guy that saved me when I was alone. I was about to be attacked by walkers and he saved me. If it wasn’t for him, I’d be dead Negan. He’s the guy that brought me to Alexandria. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for Daryl and…”

Negan pulled his face away from you like your touch was fire and you gasped when you saw him stand up. He towered over you and made you feel small. Hell, this felt terrible as you could hear the intense sounds of his angered breathing. This wasn’t the Negan that you had grown accustomed to and you knew this was a very different version of him. One that you never thought you would have to see.

“I get it. I broke your rules. I gave a prisoner of yours some food, I understand it…I’m sorry,” you tried to apologize. You felt almost like Dwight and Sherry were out to make this happen today. Maybe with the help of Michael, or maybe your luck was just really this bad today. “Negan, please. You know treating people like this isn’t right. Daryl is a good guy and hurting him like that, treating him like he isn’t even a human…”

Your words were cut off as Negan pulled you up from where you were and slammed you up against the wall again. A whimper escaped your lips from the force of his toss and you could feel him holding onto the sides of your shirt tightly.

“You do not tell me how to run The Sanctuary. We talked about this. You don’t fucking tell me what to do! You fucking don’t tell me what’s right or how to deal with my fucking people,” Negan reminded you, his voice screaming at you by this point and you closed your eyes tightly. How did the two of you go from spooning in the shower together, to this? You thought last night was the best thing that could have ever happened between the two of you, but now it felt like the complete opposite. “Do you fucking understand me? I own you. I am the person in charge. You are fucking not in charge! I’m getting sick of you trying to tell me how to run my fucking people.”

“Negan please, I’m not out to disobey you. After last night…”

“I knew you would hold last night over my fucking head,” Negan snapped as you opened your eyes to meet his enraged glance again. You looked up at him with your nervous eyes as you tried to reach out to touch him again and he stopped you from doing so. There was a silence between the two of you as you tried to see something familiar in his hazel eyes, but he was so hostile with you that it felt like you were staring at a stranger. “You obey me. You follow my rules and just because I’m fucking you doesn’t mean you get away with breaking the fucking rules constantly. You have been a very bad fucking girl…when you are bad…you get fucking punished.”

“Negan…” you gasped feeling him picking you up over his shoulder and you could feel him marching over to one of the cells. When he opened the door to the cell they had originally put you in when you first got here, you let out a nervous breath. You tried to move, but the grasp he had on you was too strong. “Negan, I’m sorry. Please. I just…”

Letting out a wince, you felt Negan dropping you down into the corner of the room and walking back toward the door. Getting to your feet, you saw him holding his hand out at you as a warning to get back down.

“There are rules for a reason,” Negan spoke in almost a whisper and threw his hands up when his dark expression met yours. “Nothing matters if you’re dead.”

There was a silence that pressed between the two of you and you weren’t sure how to respond to that. You wanted to get up, you wanted to try and persuade him to keep you from getting locked up, but you didn’t know where to even begin to start.

“Negan, I’m sorry. I get it, okay? I know you have to keep up appearances, but Dwight hates me Negan. You aren’t going to look like a bad leader for me making one mistake and you letting me get away with it, okay?” you tried to plead with him seeing his chest rising and falling heavily as he clung to the handle of the door. His eyes looked sad as you spoke and you shook your head. “Baby, I’m not doing things to try and disobey you. I just…I’m not used to this way of life. I just don’t think torturing people is going to be the way to have people follow you blindly.”

“You didn’t make just one fucking mistake doll,” Negan let out a heavy sigh and he shrugged his shoulders. A frustrated breath escaped his lips as you gave him a pleading look. “You’ve been breaking the rules since day one. You’re going to learn that when you don’t follow them, you get fucking punished.”

“Please don’t let fucking Dwight get between the two of us like this,” you begged him seeing his brow tensing and you shook your head slowly. You held your hands up in a pleading motion; you didn’t want him to leave you in here. Not like this. “Dwight has been trying to put a wedge between the two of us and this is his way of doing this. Negan, I’m so sorry. I was wrong. Just please, Dwight hates me and if you would just think…”

“Do you see Dwight here? Huh?” Negan snapped causing your body to jump when you heard him screaming at you and you stared out at him with a saddened expression. “Dwight isn’t fucking in charge here making the decisions. I am and this is entirely my decision. You are arrogant. You think you can question me and you will learn you aren’t my fucking equal. You belong to me…”

“Negan, please…” you pleaded with him one last time before watching the door slam shut before you. Hearing a locking sound on the other side, the only light that filtered into the room was that under the door and you let out a tight whimper when you saw the shadows of Negan’s feet standing there for a moment before you watched them walk away.

Slumping back against the wall, you felt an ache in your chest that was indescribable. It hurt so bad that the man you cared so deeply for just locked you up in a cell. You never thought that it would actually come to this. Feeling every muscle in your body tightening, you waited. You hoped this was Negan just trying to prove something with you, but as time went by you felt like you were in there for hours

You heard the song from Daryl’s cell being played over and over again. It was beginning to drive you crazy and you could only imagine how bad Daryl must have felt. You could feel the ache of sitting in the damp, dark room with no padding pressing in over your body. Staring out at the hole toward the bottom of the door, you waited and waited. You didn’t realize the effects of what you had done would lead to this. You didn’t think what happened was worth you getting thrown into a cell, but clearly Negan thought it was.

You heard the sounds of people passing by your room, a few bickers here and there, but no one ever came for you. Resting back into the corner of the cell, you slipped down and knew it had been hours. If you would have done things differently today, the number one thing would have been knocking Sherry on her ass. Then you started debating what else you would have done. No matter what you would have still given that boy the food. Then you started debating Daryl. Would you have avoided going in there? Would you have just ignored it happening? Would you have rather try to sneak him out?

After what felt like forever, you heard the sound of the door opening and you looked up to see Simon standing in the doorway. Gulping down, you could see his dark eyes looking you over and you didn’t know what to expect. He stepped into the room and the light from the hallway caused your eyes to squint since you had grown accustom to the darkness.

“Listen, I don’t agree with this. I think you are one of us, I just want to tell you that before I continue on with anything else,” Simon informed you with a heavy sigh and you felt nervous with him starting the conversation off like that. Simon motioned you to stand, but you didn’t do so right away. “I’m asking nicely here…Negan told me to take you somewhere. So because I like you, I’m asking you to work with me. I don’t want to be forceful with you; I like you too much for that.”

Nodding, you slowly got to your feet and let out a pained noise when you felt your body stretching. It had locked up with being stuck in that room for so long. You rubbed at the small of your back trying to caress out the ache. You felt Simon reaching out to squeeze your shoulder supportively and you gulped down heavily.

“I really don’t know what’s crawled up his ass, but I’m going to apologize again because…” Simon could see the nervousness in your eyes and he reached up to nervously caress at the back of his neck after pulling away from you. He threw his hands up and shrugged before motioning you toward the hallway.

“Should I be scared?” you stammered, not knowing what Simon was leading you to. Looking around the hallway, you passed Daryl’s cell and let out a tight breath. You knew what Negan was capable of when he was mad and you weren’t sure how mad he actually was at you. “Simon?”

“No, you shouldn’t be scared…” Simon looked over his shoulder at you and then turned to face you. You stopped in the middle of the hallway as he reached out to touch the side of your face with his palm. The motion shocked you as you pulled away and felt odd to have Negan’s right hand man touching your face like that. When he realized how odd the gesture was, he seemed to shift uneasily as well. “I just think Negan is going to be a bit of an asshole and I don’t think you deserve it.”

“Okay…” you watched him motion you to follow him and when you walked by the windows you could see that it was dark out. Negan had left you in there all day long and clearly he was planning on ‘punishing’ you even further with the way that Simon was acting toward you.

You were surprised when Simon led you toward Negan’s room and when you stepped in front of the open door; you could see Negan sitting on the couch with his feet up on the table. He looked up at you with a dark expression before you looked to the corner of his room to see a woman sitting on the edge of his bed. She was clad in a tight black dress alerting you to the fact that she was one of Negan’s wives. Gulping down, you watched the woman toss her red hair over her shoulder before looking to Negan who wiggled his finger to motion you and Simon into his room. Simon followed you not far behind and you heard Simon close the door behind him.

Negan stood slowly and you watched him move across the room to grab a hold of your arm. He tugged you across the room toward the corner where there was a wooden chair. He pushed you down into the chair and kneeled before you, his angered hazel eyes still staring into yours intensely.

“I seriously debated keeping you in that cell for quite a bit longer, but I’ve decided against it,” Negan informed you with his deep voice, making a chill run down your spine. You gulped down, feeling him grabbing a hold of you jaw. He forced you to look at him and you could see his jaw clenching. “But you are going to learn where your place is here in The Sanctuary.”

“Negan, this is unnecessary. I understand what I did wrong,” you tried to explain and he hushed you, his brow line creasing as he looked up at Simon. He stood slowly and you watched him look over his shoulder at the red head before clearing his throat.

“Keep her where she is. Don’t let her fucking leave,” Negan ordered and Simon nodded looking down at you with a somewhat frustrated expression as Negan moved over toward the bed to reach for the woman’s hand. “This right here is Frankie, you remember me mentioning one of my wives that used to be a massage therapist?”

You nodded slowly watching the way that Negan helped her rise up from the bed and you moved on the chair uncomfortably when you saw Negan’s hands sliding in over her hips. He gripped them tightly before pulling Frankie in close to him. A gasp had escaped Frankie’s lips at his aggressive pull and you could feel your cheeks burning over. Negan gave you a look before lowering down to tease his lips in over Frankie’s. Feeling Simon reach out to grab a hold of your shoulder to squeeze made you let out a small laugh as you leaned over in the chair and covered your mouth trying to keep it in.

Negan looked over his shoulder at you, his eyebrow arching up when you raised your hand and shook your head motioning him to continue on. Negan gave you a confused expression as Frankie grabbed a hold of his jaw and pulled him into another kiss trying to pull his attention to her and away from you. You could feel your body tensing as you realized what Negan was trying to pull here and you looked up at Simon who seemed to be confused with your reaction.

The sound of Negan’s jacket falling to the floor made you look to the Negan and Frankie again. His palm slid from her hid to her bottom and he squeezed it softly in his large hand. A moan escaped Frankie’s lips as you watched Negan’s tongue twisting with hers. Biting into your bottom lip, you nodded and leaned further back in the chair to fold your arms out in front of your chest. Simon kept his eyes firmly on you as you watched Negan. It was clear that his plan was to have sex in front of you with one of his wives to ‘hurt’ you and you found yourself more amused with his tactic than upset. He really thought that this would destroy you and you could tell by the glances that shot daggers in your direction. You got what Negan was attempting to do and clearly the two men in the room thought it would absolutely crush you with what he was doing. Simon had been trying to be supportive, clearly thinking you were ‘that kind’ of woman. While you appreciated Simon’s concern, you found yourself more annoyed with the whole situation.

When Frankie managed to pull Negan’s shirt from his body and to the ground, a small snicker escaped your lips. It was clear that your small bits of laughter were frustrating Negan as Frankie tried nipping at Negan’s lips, but when you snickered again Negan pulled from her and turned to you with an aggravated look.

“Is this funny to you?” Negan watched you try to stop laughing, but your face was red and you were clearly caught in a moment. It wasn’t that you were trying to actually laugh. It was an uncomfortable laugh, but it seemed to be working in your favor. “What the fuck is so funny?”

“No, hey. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s getting into me, please continue,” you tried to suggest and you covered your mouth realizing how heated Negan seemed to get when you were more so amused with what Negan was doing instead of being crushed like he was expecting you to be. “I mean, did you ask your wife here if it was okay with her if you fucked her in front of someone to make them upset and jealous? Was that the plan sweetheart?”

Frankie stared out at you and said nothing, but when she looked down you could realize that she knew that your words were very obviously correct. Feeling Negan stepping forward to grab a tight hold of your jaw made you look up at him with an irritated glance.

“I’m sorry, do you want me to be crying here?” you lashed at him seeing his eyebrows tensing together and you shook your head slowly. “I’m kind of confused where you got the impression that I actually don’t understand that you have multiple women you are with. Frankie is hot and hell if you want to give Simon and me a show, I’m certain that the two of us wouldn’t mind seeing this. I mean, this is a fantastic plan to get me to learn where my place is Negan. Top notch.”

Negan let go of your jaw with a disgusted sound and you watched him stand before you, his chest rising and falling heavily when you snickered before him.

“You are so full of shit, I know you are fucking jealous of the women in my life,” Negan pointed out with a shake of his head, his tongue sliding out over his bottom lip. “You’ve made it very fucking clear over the time we’ve been together.”

“Well, I don’t know what you are like with Frankie, but frankly you are one hell of a fuck,” you blurted out with a bit of venom in your tone as you watched Frankie sit on the edge of the bed. A half smirk pressed in over her lips when you were giving Negan back talk. Simon cleared his throat uneasily and you knew that you shouldn’t have been back talking Negan like you were, but his little plan was just so ridiculous that you found yourself annoyed with it. “So yes, I enjoy having you around and do enjoy you for myself…”

Hell, you knew that you were lying. Negan likely did too. You cared for Negan more than that, but the fact that you were able to fluster him as much as you were right now made you egg him on further. Leaning further back into the chair, you nodded toward Frankie again and motioned him to continue.

“So, Simon and I are ready for a show, right Simon?” you looked to Simon who seemed to snort with your comment and you nodded slowly. “I want to see if I can learn a few things from that gorgeous woman over there. I’ll be right here the whole time. So please Negan, teach me a fucking lesson because I’m ready for it. I want to see you give it to her good. Make me hurt, so I learn my place. Fuck, I’m pumped. Let’s get this thing going.”

Simon cracked a smile and looked down at you with an amused glance. He motioned you to keep quiet and you shrugged your shoulders. Clearly you were amusing him and he didn’t want to get in trouble for it.

“Simon, a word…” Negan pulled Simon forward with him toward the hallway. When it was just Frankie and you in the room together, the two of you were silent, but you could hear Negan sounding very clearly agitated outside of his room while talking to Simon. Simon walked back into the room and leaned down to whisper something in Frankie’s ear before grabbing a hold of her arm. Simon pulled her up and motioned her toward the door leaving you alone in Negan’s room. After a moment, you watched Negan walking into the room. Negan closed the door behind him and folded his arms out in front of his bare chest. He leaned back against the wall and stared out at you with an expecting glance. “You think you are fucking funny, don’t you?”

“I’ve actually never found myself to be much of a comedian if you want me to be honest with you,” you answered truthfully with a grin knowing that wasn’t the answer that he was expecting to get from you. His chest was rising and falling heavily as you nodded toward the door after Negan had locked it. “Did I fuck up what you just had planned here?”

“I think you fucking know the answer to that,” Negan huffed heavily, biting into his bottom lip as he tilted his head to the side. “So if that won’t make you upset, let’s see how this goes for you. We tried to deal with your boy Daryl today.”

Your amused expression turned very serious as Negan smirked and arched his eyebrows up when he finally got your attention. A small chuckle fell from his lips as he shook his head slowly and whistled.

“Wow, me fucking another woman in front of you…nothing. Me talking about Daryl, well that shut you the fuck up,” Negan snarled as you felt your heart pounding in your chest. When he referred to Daryl as ‘dealt with’, you thought of so many situations in your mind. The worst one ending with Daryl dead after all of this. “I fucking liked Daryl. He’s strong. Fucker doesn’t scare easily, hell I like that. That’s why I fucking like you. Both of you, you got that fire inside of you. Pisses me the fuck off, but also turns me so wildly on.”

“What do you mean you dealt with him?” you questioned seeing him smirk and shrug.

“I gave him the chance to be one of us. A Savior, but the dumbass didn’t take it. We’ve given him chance after chance and since you think so damn highly of him, I figured why not give him another chance? Thing is, he is still Daryl. Stubborn as shit. Life gives him lemons and he shoves them right up the ass of the person that tries to fucking help him,” Negan moved across the room slowly and you stared up at him with an angered glance. “Let’s just say, I didn’t take too well for him refusing to be Negan. To being one of us…”

“Did you kill him?” you muttered low, almost afraid of the answer as Negan lowered down to a kneeling position in front of you. A smile pressed in over his lips as he watched how upset you got over the man that saved you possibly being dead. “Did you kill him?”

“If I did?” Negan’s tongue slid in over his bottom lip and you could feel the anger growing inside of you. Daryl was the one person in this world that you cared for other than Negan and with his threats of him killing your friend caused a fire to burn deep within you. Reaching out, you firmly struck Negan across the face hearing the echo the sound made throughout the room with your hit. Your hit caused Negan’s head to lower and you heard him groan before looking up at you with his angered expression. He lowered down a bit and shook his head a few times, trying to shake out the uneasiness it clearly caused. His face was beet red where you had landed your hit and you watched him reach up to caress over the heated flesh. “Don’t ever fucking hit me again! Do you understand me, damn it?”

Negan lowered his hand from his face and immediately after you struck him again watching his head recoil with the hit. You should have been worried about hitting him, but you could feel your body trembling with anger for the man before you. Watching him closely, you saw him look to you quickly with an wicked look in his eyes and before you realized what was happening, you felt Negan pulling you from the chair and pushing you to the ground roughly. Your hands fought with his as he tried to get a firm hold of you, but you fought back with him every ounce of the way.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Negan hissed out as he grabbed a firm hold of your wrists and finally forced them over your head and onto the cool ground in a thud. You tried to get away from his grasps, but his strength was too much for you to fight back. His weight was heavy over you and his clutches on your wrists were too tight. The right side of his face was slightly swelled from the two good hits you landed on him as his livid eyes stared down at you. “I didn’t kill the fucking idiot, though you are giving me plenty of good fucking reason to do it!”

“You’re a real asshole, you know that?” you blurt out with an angered breath as a smile cracked in over the corners of his lips.

“I thought we learned that a long fucking time ago,” Negan pointed out with a hiss as you tried to move out from underneath him, but he wouldn’t allow you to move. “You are such a bad fucking girl…I tell you I didn’t kill Daryl and you are still trying to fight me…”

“What you want me to do? Thank you? Kiss your fucking feet when you locked me up in that damn cell all day long?” you snarled seeing him smirk and you found yourself angrier with him. He was still laughing at you for being upset and a moment later you aggressively pulled your hand from under his grasp to manage to smack him firmly again on the same side you had done the previous two times. A heavy grunt escaped his lips when he felt your hit collide with his sensitive flesh again. He fell in over you and you could hear him let out another pained noise as you tried pushing him off of you with your freed hand.

“Stop fucking hitting me!” he ordered with a heavy growl as he pulled you up from the ground and tossed you to the side of the room. Your body hit the back of his couch as he moved in behind you with an angered breath, aggressively keeping you where you were. “You have a thing for Daryl? Huh? Is that what this is? You want to fuck that stubborn fucking red neck? Does your pussy get wet for him, huh?”

“Not at all, he is just my friend. I just think you are being an asshole,” you informed him with a gasp when you felt him pushing into the back of your neck, to lower your body more over the side of the couch. Wincing at his grasp, you felt him pressed up heavily against you and you bit down on your bottom lip. “I only have a thing for you…only you…”

“Oh yeah?” you could hear Negan’s cocky tone pressing in over you again as you felt him releasing your neck and you went to move up, but he placed his hand over your back to keep you there. “Stay there. Don’t fucking move…you know what I’m capable of. If you don’t listen to me, you are going back in that fucking cell…”

Letting out an annoyed huff, you could see Negan moving around the couch and he reached down to pull his boots from his feet. He tossed them aside before slowly unlatching his belt. Gulping down, you watched him pull the belt from out of the loops and heard it drop at his side when he wrapped it around his hand.

“Take your clothes off,” Negan ordered and you stayed where you were. Hearing the sound of him letting out an angered noise followed by the pull of his fingers in your hair made you bite down on your bottom lip heavily when he pulled you up to him. “Don’t make me tell you twice…”

Staring out at him, you still noticed that his belt was hanging at his side as he stood before you shirtless and only in his pants. His chest was rising and falling heavily while you reached for your pants and unhooked them. You did as you were told and pulled them down your body. You tossed them over the side of the couch and then moved for you shirt. Pulling it above your head, you could see his eyes watching you closely and you almost felt disgusted with him. Moments earlier he was fully prepared to have sex with one of his wives in front of you, but now he was basically eating you alive with his eyes.

“Why do you want to disobey me so fucking much?” Negan muttered leaning against the back of the couch as he watched you closely when you began to unlatch the back of your bra. Pulling the material from your arms slowly, you watched him smirk before meeting your eyes in a glance. His left hand reached up to caress over his stubble covered jaw where you had hit him. “I mean, I give you everything you want, don’t I?”

“You call it disobeying you, I call it being a good fucking person,” you watched his right eyebrow arch up before nodding and rubbing at the back of his neck. He brushed his fingertips into his hair and left it a bit disheveled as you reached for your panties. Giving him a final look, you pulled them from your body and for the first time actually felt uncomfortable being naked in front of him after everything he had pulled today

“You have such a dirty mouth now. Swearing like a god damn sailor. Shit, when I first got my hands on you, you were this innocent little virgin girl and now look at you. Bow, a fucking explosion of swear words coming out of that fucking perfect venomous mouth of yours,” Negan clutched the belt around his hand tighter before nodding toward the table at the corner of the room. “Lean over that.”

“Why?” you could see the demanding expression he gave you and you bit down into your bottom lip. Moving over toward the table, you carefully lowered your body down over it. The cool sensation of the table pressed against your body caused you to let out a nervous sound when you felt Negan moving in behind you. His hands reached down to pull at your hips and you could feel his body pressing in behind you. His rough palms squeezed at you bottom, toying with the flesh as you closed your eyes tightly.

“How many times did you disobey me today? First with the food. Then with the wives, which I’ll let go since I do think you’re being honest with me about harassing them. You would just chew me out instead of harassing them, so I’ll let that one go. The next was with Daryl and then laughing at me when I tried to teach you a lesson. Then those three hits you landed on me…” Negan’s voice was deep and when you heard him listing off the things you did wrong today, you tried to look over your shoulder at him, but he shook his head and forced you to put your head back down on the table. “Is that six?”

Hearing the sound of the belt being played with, you tried to move, but Negan kept his hand firmly over the small of your back and you could feel your heart hammering in your chest. Negan’s free hand caressed over your smooth bottom as you bit into your bottom lip.

“I mean yeah, you’ve fucking mouthed off to me quite a few times today, but…I think six is a safe number,” Negan felt your body shaking beneath his touch and he hushed you. “Doll, I’m not going to hit you as hard as I can with this. Just enough for you to realize your punishment.  Fuck, I’m not a monster.”

“Negan, just…” you felt the first smack of the belt over your bottom, causing you to jolt forward and let out a shocked sound because you weren’t expecting it. Wincing, you could feel the burn from the hit and realized that he was being honest. He wasn’t hitting you with the belt hard enough to seriously hurt you, it was just enough to make a point, but definitely still stung. Negan’s palm caressed over the heated flesh, squeezing it softly when you clutched to the table. “I’m sorry.”

“I know,” Negan hushed you again as you felt him move his palm and felt another whack of the belt over your skin making you bite into your bottom lip again. Your body rose up from the hit, but could feel Negan keeping you in place as your fingers squeezed at the side of the table tightly. You were certain your knuckles were turning white with how hard you were grasping it. Hissing out, you could hear him breathing heavily and undoubtedly knew that this was turning Negan on more than it should have been. The idea of you being punished and being his submissive definitely would do something for him. “You’re taking it like a fucking champ!”

Saying nothing, you just waited hoping he would get this done with sooner rather than later as you felt the next smack of the belt against your skin. This time it caused you to jolt forward again and you held back the sound of pain. You didn’t expect it to sting as much as it did, but it sure left a lasting ache. Gulping down, you felt Negan’s fingertips caressing over your raw flesh again before he lowered his caress between your thighs.

“Damn girl…” Negan’s fingertips trailed up and over your folds, taking his time to tease his rough fingers over your sensitive flesh. A heavy breath escaped your lips when he pushed your legs further apart with his foot. You felt his warm breath pressing in over your lower back and could feel his lips tampering off over your skin. You tried to hold back the sound of pleasure that attempted escaping your lips before feeling his tongue sliding lines in over the marks that he had already left on your flawless flesh with his belt. Yelping, you felt him biting into your flesh and you looked over your shoulder to see him raise his head up and look up at you with a devious smirk.  “You are already so wet, something tells me you actually kind of enjoy being fucking punished. I knew you liked being spanked, but if I would have known you had a thing for this…”

“Get it over with Negan,” you muttered holding back a moan when you felt his fingertips caressing circles over your warmth. Your body trembled against his caress when you felt his index finger circling over your entrance. When he inserted a finger into your core, you let out a soft mewling sound, hearing the satisfied groan that escaped his lips when you did.

“I want to know what’s worse for you. The fact that I’m punishing you or the fact that my punishment makes you fucking horny as shit? You’re fucking pissed at me, super fucking mad, but your pussy is soaked. You want me to fuck you raw,” Negan rumbled behind you and you could feel him pressing another finger into you as he started pump them in and out of your body rapidly. Your eyebrows tensed as you felt your thighs clenching together at his motions. “That’s my dirty girl…”

Negan’s fingers continued to plunge into your body as your back arched in response. Trying to focus was harder than you could ever imagine as you felt him hitting all the sensitive spots inside of you that you knew he had learned drove you crazy. Your legs grew weak as you felt the motion of his fingers quickening inside of you.

“Yeah, your tight little pussy is quivering for me darling,” Negan slurred from behind you and you felt him pulling his fingers from your body. Whimpering out, you looked over your shoulder to see Negan slipping his fingers between his lips to suck over his digits in a very seductive manner. A heavy groan fell from his lips as you held back another moan that wanted to escape your lips when you watched him. “Mhmm, you taste so damn good. Do you already miss daddy’s fingers? Huh?”

You refused to answer him, but felt him teasing his slicked fingers over your warmth again. He traced up and down your folds before pushing his fingers forward into your body again. The thrusting motion of his fingers inside of you caused you to grasp the table desperately and you let out a tight cry. You tried your best not to let Negan know this was having that kind of effect on you, but when you heard him let out a satisfied sound, you knew it was too late.

“I liked you trying to fucking convince me earlier that the only reason you like me is because you like fucking me,” Negan pulled his fingers away from your body causing your body to let out an involuntary whimper. The belt came down in over your bottom again as you cried out when you felt a little more force behind that hit. The quickness had shocked you and your lower half was starting to tremble with the torture that Negan had already put you through. The stinging sensation caused you to clutch the table tighter as Negan was back to caressing over the raw flesh again. “If that’s all you cared about, you wouldn’t be trying to make me into a better person. You’re fucking in love with me…”

“What?” you muttered feeling his hand keeping a firm hold over the small of your back when you tried to move away from him. His grip wouldn’t allow you to move as Negan made a tisking sound.

“What? You think you’re the first girl that I’ve taken interest in that’s fallen in love with me? Hell, it happens all the fucking time,” Negan seemed to mock you as you felt another hit of the belt over your bottom and you whimpered out. Your jaw clenched as you heard Negan humming to himself and you closed your eyes tightly. “You haven’t said I love you, but you’ve gotten close enough to it. You were almost fucking begging me to say it in the shower this morning…”

Negan brought the belt over your bottom the final time making you cry out and let out a thankful breath. You didn’t mind the first few hits of the belt, but by the time that the sixth one came down, your bottom was a bit raw. You went to get up only to feel him grabbing a tight hold of your hands. Wincing out, you could feel him wrapping the belt around your wrists behind your back firmly. He tugged on the belt to make sure it was secure enough before reaching down to caress over the raw flesh of your bottom. You could feel him caressing over your flesh before squeezing it in his palm roughly.

“No witty comebacks? That’s almost disappointing,” Negan whispered as you leaned over you on the table. His tongue traced a small line over your earlobe before taking it into his mouth and nipping. “Is that because I’m fucking right?”

You didn’t answer him; you weren’t going to give him the pleasure of doing so. His hand grabbed a tight hold of your hair and pulled you into a standing position as you whimpered out again. Negan was pressed firmly behind you and you could feel the stinging ache that was over your bottom.

“Come on…” Negan urged you around to the other side of the couch and you watched him pulling open the button of his pants. The zipper was the next thing down as you watched him tugging the material of his pants off along with his boxers. His swollen member bounced free from the prison it was behind and you let out a heavy breath. Of course he was rock solid from this. This whole thing clearly turned him on way more than he had teased you for. Negan dropped down on the couch and he reached down to caress his body with his right hand slowly while he looked up at you with his expecting hazel eyes. “Get down on your knees.”

Doing as you were told, you lowered to your knees and watched him spread his legs open and motion you closer. Carefully moving, you tried to balance your weight since you still had your hands tied behind your back with his belt. Negan’s tongue slid in over his bottom lip and you almost felt disgusted with yourself in the moment. Negan was being a total dick, but the whole situation did seem to turn you on extraordinarily much and you almost wished it hadn’t.

“Open your mouth and fucking suck it,” Negan ordered in a firm, deep tone as he slowly caressed over his body. He watched you cautiously to make sure that you were listening to him when you carefully moved in closer to his body. Lowering down, you could feel Negan’s free hand reaching out to grab the side of your neck to urge you closer to his cock. Looking up at him with your intense eyes, you could see him smile before raising his hips to tease the tip of his erection over your lips. He caressed his hardened body over your bottom lip before you parted your lips for him, allowing him to press his body into your warm mouth. “Good girl.”

Negan’s grip on your neck got tighter as he urged your mouth down his length slowly. You wrapped your lips tightly around his solid body, listening to his earlier order. Twisting your tongue over his flesh, you could hear his groan filling the air and you could feel him starting to thrust his hips upward toward your throat. Trying to bob your head carefully over his length, you could feel him hitting the back of your throat as he fucked your mouth. A gagging sound escaped your throat when he hit the back of your throat, but it didn’t seem to get him to want to stop. Trying to comply with his length, you could feel your eyes watering over as his hand kept you firmly in the same area. Finally, he let you pull away for air as he caressed over his saliva covered length. You gasped for air and looked up at him with your watery eyes and you could tell that he was extremely pleased with his actions.

 “Get up,” he demanded and you gave him a sideways glance, letting out a tight laugh when he said those words. Easier said than done considering you were tied up, but you felt him reach out to help pull you up. Negan led you over toward the full body mirror that was in the corner of his room and he moved in behind you. Staring out in the mirror, you could see Negan’s heavy eyes staring out at you closely before his hand reached around you to grab a hold of your jaw. It was a tight grip that caused you to let out a small wince when he turned your head to the side and you felt his lips pressing in over the side of your neck before biting into your skin. “How are we going to get you to start listening to me?”

 “Stop being an asshole?” you suggested feeling him laughing against the side of your neck before squeezing his fingers down toward the base of your throat. Gasping out, you felt him puling you back against him and he made a tisking sound before loosening his grip. “Everything you see in the mirror…it all belongs to me. I own you…you don’t get to tell me how to run things. You belong to me. You are a possession; you have no control over things here. I do. You fucking belong to me. Do you understand that?”

 “Yes…” you muttered with a gasp when you felt him squeezing his fingers in over the base of your neck. “Negan…”

 “Nope, you are not to speak unless spoken to,” Negan informed you, biting into his bottom lip before speaking up again. “We’re going to come up with a few rules here that you are going to fucking listen to, but before we do that…”

Negan pulled you roughly toward the couch, throwing you over the side of it, but you could notice out of the corner of your eye that Negan was trying to align the two of you up enough so he could still see you both in the mirror. You found it hard to keep your body balanced with your hands tied behind your back, but Negan didn’t seem to mind as he tugged back on your hips.

“Oh, your pretty little ass is going to be hurting tomorrow,” Negan muttered with a small groan, caressing over the red lines over your bottom before adjusting your body in front of him again.

Turning your face slightly, you could see Negan’s reflection in the mirror as he stood behind you. He was caressing his body slowly before you felt him tapping his hard erection over your bottom. Arching back, you could feel him pushing the head of body between your lips, collecting the wetness from your body over his and you let out small moan. He was teasing you, making you want it, but you weren’t going to beg him for it.

“Shit darling, you are fucking soaked. You want this more than I do,” Negan snickered behind you and a moment later you let out a tight cry when you felt him thrust his hips sharply forward into your body without warning or preparation. Falling forward, you could feel Negan grabbing a tight hold of the belt, pulling you up by your wrists as his hips slapped up heavily behind you. His thrusts were extremely rough and fast. His hipbones smacked heavily against your bottom as you winced and bit down heavily on your bottom lip. He filled you completely as you felt him pounding away behind you. You could tell that this was still part of his ‘punishment’ as you let out a tight breath.

“You’re going to learn to fucking listen to me,” Negan panted behind you with a groan and you closed your eyes tightly when you felt him fucking you as hard as he was. An involuntary moan escaped your lips and soon after you could feel him smacking over your sore bottom making you let out another cry. “I think you just fucking like daddy punishing you, don’t you? Huh?”

“Yes,” you breathed feeling Negan reaching around with his left hand to grab a hold of your throat, pulling you back against him. His hand grabbed a tight hold of your jaw while his hips slammed into you from behind making your legs tremble beneath you. They could barely hold up their weight as it was, but when you felt Negan let go of your wrists and reach around with his right to reach between your thighs, you thought you might just drop if it wasn’t for his other hand holding onto your neck. His fingertips found your clitoris and rubbed at it furiously in a circular motion while he bit at your jawline.

“Yes what?” Negan demanded an answer, his hand squeezing around your throat tighter. Your whole body was numb as the motion of his caress and his hips were driving you crazy. His groans and grunts were loud behind you and you closed your eyes tightly. Your body was weak as it is as you felt him pull back on your jaw again, a hiss escaping his lips. “Say it!”

“I like daddy punishing me,” you responded with a desperate whimper feeling your body shaking uncontrollably. Negan’s caress grew harder and harder until you could feel your vision fading when you felt your body shaking from your release. Negan’s circular motions grew harder as he continued to force himself inside of you while you hit your orgasm and you could hear his groans growing louder when your walls clenched around his pulsating cock.

“I thought so,” Negan grunted as he continued to pound his body in and out of yours. Letting out an aggravated sound, he picked you up by your waist and carried you over to the bed before throwing you onto it. Flipping you over onto your back, he grabbed a hold of your body and pulled it close to the edge. He forced your legs up over his shoulders before reaching down to force the head of his body back into your pussy. “I want to see the look on your face when I fucking cum in you…”

“Negan…” you whimpered out when you felt him plowing into you. Pulling almost all the way out before slamming back forward again. The smacking sounds his skin made against yours made you toss your head back and let out a heavy cry as Negan reached up to grab a hold of your neck again.

“Your pretty little pussy belongs to me, doesn’t it?” Negan muttered, his teeth gritted as he spoke and you could see the veins in his neck bulging as he spoke to you. “Huh? Does your tight little pussy belong to my big cock?”

“It belongs to you,” you nodded desperately when you felt the grip he had on your throat getting tighter. You could feel your air getting cut off, but Negan continued to thrust heavily. His groans got heavier and heavier as you watched his abdomen clench before you. His hand raised up to your jawline, allowing the air to fill your lungs again as you felt him forcing you to look at him. “Cum in me…”

“Look at me…” Negan forced you to look him in the eyes as he moved forward to press his lips heavily against yours, kissing you for the first time since you had been with him again tonight. He bit at your lips, his tongue flicking over the flesh afterward. His moans started to get heavier and his breathing quickened.  “Fuck…I’m going to cum…”

“Do it…” you ordered feeling his thrusts getting harder, but slowing down. His groans filled the air as you felt his thick strands of hot seed filling you and his hips continued to buck into you until you felt him fall in over you, allowing your legs to drop as he lay in over your soaked body. His lips pressed wet kisses over the side of your neck and you could still feel your body trembling from your release.

Negan tipped back to look you over for a moment before moving forward to kiss you again. Your mouth meshed perfectly against his and you were eager to have his tongue enter your mouth when he kissed you desperately.

“Fuck…” Negan groaned as his head rested against the side of your neck when he pulled away from you. His breathing was heavy and you could feel his sweaty body pressed up heavily against yours.  Your body was still shaking from what it had just gone through as you heard Negan let out an aggravated sound. “Damn it…shit…”

“Negan?” you muttered feeling him pulling away from you, a gasp escaping your lips when you felt him pulling his cock from your body and you could feel his warm seed spilling out of you and down your inner thighs. Negan reached for his pants and pulled them up his body before you heard the slam of something causing you to carefully pull yourself up on the bed. You looked to see the chair that he had originally had you in broken at the other side of the room. Negan was slouched over and it was clear that he had launched the chair against the wall. You could feel your heart hammering in your chest when you stared out at him. “What’s wrong?”

“You…me…” he snapped looking up at you from where he was before moving across the room. He forcefully flipped you over on the bed and undid the belt from your wrists. You let out a wince when you felt your flesh raw from how tight it was around your wrists originally. Looking down, you could see the skin raw and red as you reached down to caress it over. Negan sat on the edge of the bed and you carefully moved to the side of the bed with him, reaching up to caress over his sweat covered shoulder. “I’m supposed to be punishing you, but then…”

“Negan, you did punish me,” you snickered as he turned to look at you with a glare and you laughed again realizing that he was actually upset about it. Reaching out to caress over his stubble covered jawline, you shrugged your shoulders. You played with his beard for a moment before speaking up again. “I’ll try to listen, I swear.”

“You’re going to be working for points for a while,” Negan informed you with a nod and you shrugged your shoulders. “I’m serious.”

“I know,” you answered with a nod and he huffed heavily. “I get it.”

 “You should be fucking furious with me. I’m not going to let you have the same rules that you have been having. You can’t just walk around like you own the place. You’ll be one of The Saviors, but that’s it. You have to work for your food, you will have…” Negan was silenced by the sound of you placing your fingertips over his lips. “I need to punish you. You need to learn. You can still have your room, but with the food and the things that you want…”

 “Okay…” you whispered with a nod realizing that as the leader of The Sanctuary, he had something he thought he had to prove. “I get it.”

“I don’t want to put you in the cell again, so please…” Negan watched you closely as you eyed him over and reached out to pull him in closer to you. He rest his head against your collarbone and you could feel him breathing heavily against your body. “Don’t do something like today. I don’t…I can’t do that again. So please…please start fucking listening to me. I have to keep an image and …”

 “Okay,” you nodded when you felt Negan pulling away from you, looking out at you confused. Tracing your fingertips through his soaked, dark hair you could see him giving you a confused expression. “I get it. I really do.”

“Did you really think I was going to hurt you bad?” Negan frowned and finally spoke up after there was a small amount of silence between the two of you. He tipped forward to press his lips roughly over yours and you kissed him back just as aggressively before he pulled away and sighed. “I don’t hit my girls. I would never hit you. I would never punch you or kill you.”

“I don’t know, your anger kind of gets…” you breathed feeling him sliding his fingertips over your damp thigh, tracing circles over your skin. “I don’t know, I worried for a few there…”

“I would never hit you to hurt you. I might get angry, but I’m not going to attack you,” Negan lowered his head to press a soft kiss against your thigh and you caressed your fingertips into his wet hair. He looked up at you with his confused expression before shrugging. “I don’t beat my girls…”

“Oh, so I’m your girl again?” you snickered and you saw his nose wrinkle at your comment. “I thought I was only the mistress here? I wasn’t one of your wives so…”

“Well, you aren’t going to get the things that they get after today because…” Negan watched you shrug and he let out a frustrated breath.

“What?” you snickered realizing that you seemed to confuse him and frustrate him a whole lot more lately.

 “I don’t fucking understand you,” Negan muttered with a heavy breath before you slid your fingertips over his pepper colored beard. Your fingers trailed down the side of his neck and toward the center of chest where you played with the dark curls of hair. “You should be fucking furious with me…”

 “Well, I guess it goes back to what you said earlier,” you answered with a heavy sigh as you brushed your fingertips into his wet hair, pushing it back before shrugging. “I guess I just love you too much to really be mad that fucking long.”

 “Oh shit…” Negan huffed, giving you a frustrated expression when you said those words to him and he shook his head slowly. “I’m not sure that’s how you are going to feel about me tomorrow. I’ve already set the plan in motion for things tomorrow and…”

“Negan, what does that mean?” you saw him arch his eyebrow up and he sighed heavily. “Negan, what are you doing tomorrow?”

 “Something you are not going to be happy with,” Negan stated with a heavy breath, his eyes watching you closely as he shook his head. “But it is something that has to be done…one way or another. Even though I know you are going to hate every second of it.”

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan takes the OC (reader) with him when he goes to Alexandria the first time with The Saviors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize my timelines are a bit off here, but I'm making it go along with the TWD timeline...sort of. Negan is a bit of a dick in these next few chapters. Just letting that be known.

“Hey you,” a voice pressed in behind you and you looked to see Simon moving in behind you while you waited outside for Negan and the rest of the crew. Feeling Simon hooking his arm around your shoulders made your body lock up and feel uncomfortable when he leaned in closer to you. “You doing okay today? I got worried about you after last night.”

“I’m good…” you muttered with a heavy sigh, eyeing Simon over closely as a bright smile expanded in over his lips. His dark eyes were watching you closely and you suddenly started to feel uncomfortable. The truth was, today you were very sore. After last night, you hadn’t gotten much sleep after what Negan told you. He was vague about the details, but let you know that you were going to be going on a run with the rest of The Saviors. Reaching up, you unhooked Simon’s arm from your shoulders and turned to face him. “You coming today?”

“No, sadly not,” Simon’s eyes avoided contact with you and for some reason you could tell that Simon felt bad about the question. It was weird, Simon seemed to have a connection with you and you weren’t sure why. He had been nice to you from the start and he was someone that a lot of people had told you from day one was a total dick, but he never was to you. The sound of the doors opening was heard and you looked to see a group of men exiting The Sanctuary. When they started loading into the trucks, Simon nodded back toward the building and sighed. “I’ve actually gotta get going. Just wanted to see how you were.”

Nodding, you watched Negan move out of the building when Simon had walked back in. Staying where you were, you watched Negan’s hazel eyes meet yours and he stopped for a minute. He gulped down heavily and avoided you, walking around you and toward one of the trucks after throwing Lucille over his shoulder.

An angered breath escaped your lips. All night he had kept you with him, fell asleep next to you in bed and then when morning came – he became a completely different person again. He barely said a word to you and it was obvious that something about today was bothering him.

“Y/N,” you heard the familiar voice behind you and you looked to see Dwight calling out to you. A breath caught in your throat as you watched him shoving into the back of Daryl’s shoulders pushing him toward the back of one of the trucks. “You’re getting in with us.”

“Okay…” you saw Daryl’s eyes meet yours. He looked worn out and he had two black eyes. When he saw you, his jaw clenched and he stopped to try and talk to you, but Dwight shoved him toward the truck again.  Following the two into the truck, you saw Dwight point toward a certain area for you to sit, but you avoided his orders and came to sit next to Daryl.

When you took a seat, a wince escaped your lips when you felt the pain from the belt hits from Negan last night still lingering over your skin. They ached and when you sat, it hurt more. Daryl’s nervous eyes met yours when he noticed you were hurt and you shook your head when Dwight gave you a glare before taking the seat that you were originally supposed to have.

“Did he hurt you?” Daryl whispered and you gave him a look, gulping down when he stared out at you. You felt the roughness of his fingertips pressing in over your wrists and you looked down to see that he was touching the area Negan had tied up with the belt the night before. It had left your wrists raw and Daryl was clearly concerned. “What did he do?”

You said nothing. You didn’t have it in you to actually tell him. The truck started up and you looked down. Daryl’s dirty fingers were still caressing over your wrist and you looked up to see Dwight staring out at the two of you. You slightly pulled your wrist back and Daryl looked up at you with a worried glance. There he was, sitting next to you in dirty, torn sweats and he was worrying about you. It made you feel terrible to know that you cared so deeply for Negan and that was the man torturing Daryl. The man that was hurting him to this extent. Even if Dwight was the person that was dealing the torture, Negan was the man allowing it to happen.

Turning your head, you heard Daryl let out another tight grunt when he reached out to nudge your jaw to look over the bruising you had on your neck from when Negan left the marks by grabbing your throat. Daryl must have really thought the worst and you shook your head. If he had known this is was all part of the kinky, rough sex that you and Negan had done the night before—he definitely wouldn’t have been treating you so well.

“Please, I’m okay…” you tried to urge Daryl, seeing his worried blue eyes staring out at you. You felt very guilty having his sympathy for being hurt when everything terrible was happening to him as it was. “It’s okay Daryl…are you okay?”

“I’m going to kill him,” Daryl muttered under his breath and you could feel your chest tightening. That’s the last thing you wanted to hear when it came to Negan. You cared for Daryl because of what he had done for you, but Negan was…quite frankly, your everything. “He shouldn’t have put his damn hands on you.”

“Please listen to me,” you sounded a bit more firm as you watched Daryl’s brow line crease. “I’m okay. Please don’t worry about me. I’m worried about you.”

“I had worse growing up,” Daryl informed you with a huff, seeming put off by your attitude toward him since he was only caring and being worried about you. You watched him lean back against the side of the truck and you looked to see Dwight looking out the back. Reaching out, you hooked your fingers around Daryl’s and could feel him tensing up upon your touch. “I’ll be fine.”

Your jaw tightened as you felt Daryl’s firm squeeze of his fingers around yours and when he noticed Dwight look back in your direction, he released his hand from yours. The two of you stayed quiet until the trucks came to a stop. Everyone began to unload from the trucks and the final three out were you, Daryl and Dwight. When Dwight pushed Daryl toward the exit, you could see the back opening and saw Negan standing there. Daryl shot him a glare as they got off the truck and Negan motioned you to stay. Negan let out a tight laugh when Daryl glared out at him and he gave another one of his sarcastic expressions before moving to the back of the truck. Negan hopped up soon after and he motioned you to take a seat again.

 “What’s going on Negan?” you muttered in an uneven breath and he gave you a sideways look. His silly expression had become cold and it was a different look from him. “Negan?”

“You want to prove to me that you are going to follow the rules? That you are going to fucking listen to me?” Negan muttered and you nodded slowly, looking to see him clutching Lucille at his side. “Then here is what happens. You stay quiet. You don’t question a fucking thing I do. You stand there and look pretty. Do you understand me?”

Your throat went dry when your mind started filling with the thoughts of what he could be doing. Negan pulled Lucille up and over his shoulder before motioning you to stand.

“First things first…” Negan looked down and held out his hand. “I’m gonna need that handgun that I gave you back when we were at that bar.”

“I’m not going to be stupid with it Negan. It’s just to protect myself,” you responded with a heavy sigh, feeling your heart pounding in your chest. This was ridiculous; you’d done nothing to have your weapon taken away from you. Negan’s brow line creased and he looked angry. His eyes narrowed and without him saying anything, you knew that he wasn’t going to ask you again. Reaching behind you, you pulled the handgun out from your pants and handed it to him. The motion made him smile as he tucked it into his pants. “This is ridiculous.”

“We all get emotional and do stupid fucking things some times,” Negan reminded you with a wink before reaching up to brush your hair away from your face. “I’m proud of you for not fucking fighting with me. We’re learning.”

“Yes Negan,” you gulped down knowing that’s what he wanted. Someone who would do what he asked. You still were upset, but didn’t complain more than the initial moment.

“Now, if someone tells you do something, you do it. You are to follow me not far behind the whole trip unless I state otherwise. Do you understand?” Negan grunted and you stared out at him for a long moment before nodding.

“Yes, I understand,” you responded almost with a whisper while his hazel eyes never left your gaze.

“I’m telling you Y/N. This is your last chance, listen to me or it’s not going to work out,” Negan tried to reason with you and you could feel your body tensing up when he spoke. His voice was cracking and he seemed very tense. “You have to fucking listen to me. Do you understand?”

You said nothing, just nodded. A smile pressed in over the corners of his lips as he reached up to brush your hair away from your face. A whimper escaped your lips when you felt him grab a firm hold of your jaw and caress over it with his leather clad thumb. The silence almost got to be too much before you felt Negan pressing forward to press a small, lingering kiss over the center of your lips.

“Good girl,” he breathed against your skin before stepping back and motioning you to follow him off the truck. Negan hopped down before turning to hold his hand up to help you jump down from the truck.

Once you hit the ground, you could see that you were at the gates of Alexandria and gave Negan a look when his eyebrows arched up. You could feel your heart pounding in your chest as you looked to Lucille at his side and began to panic. He had both you and Daryl here and you could only imagine where he was going with this.

When he began to move beyond the group and started hitting at the fence with Lucille, you could feel your whole body clenching at the thought. The people here would either think you were a Savior or someone being held against your will, like Daryl. Either way, you knew that they would be more concerned about Daryl and rightfully so. You just kind of hoped that you would be able to blend into the back and not have many people notice you. Daryl was the person that originally found you and that made sense for him to notice you, but you did communicate with a lot of people in Alexandria. People were bound to notice you, but part of you hoped they didn’t.

Moving in next to Daryl, the sensation of Dwight pushing the two of you further apart made an angered breath escape your lips. You didn’t know where to stand, just knew you had to stay on Negan’s ass, like he asked you to. Right now, you weren’t getting anywhere though.

Your body was in so much shock, that half of the conversations that took place you could barely keep up with. You were worried. From what you could tell, Negan was being his normal sarcastic shithead self, but instead of being the Negan you knew, it had come off cruel. When the gate opened and you saw Rick step out, you lowered your head. You knew Rick would notice Daryl and were hoping that you’d kind of blend in with the rest. Negan took out a walker and continued on with his theatrics before everyone started filtering into Alexandria.

Finally, you could see Rick making eye contact with Daryl and Rick approached him, “Daryl…hey…”

“Nope…nope!” you could hear Negan call out and start off again at digging into Rick. You just stood and watched. Hell, that’s what you were demanded to do by Negan. You got why he did this to punish you. It made sense to you. At first Negan had tried to hide the side of him that was bad to you, but now he was letting you see what he was capable of. What he could do. That was your punishment.

“Are you gonna show me around or not?” you heard Negan again and watched Rick step forward into Alexandria to lead Negan around. Negan stopped and pointed back at you and Daryl motioning the two of you to follow them.

Damn it, he just had to do that. When Rick finally saw you, his blue eyes seemed to stare out at you with confusion. His eyebrows tightened together, his jaw clenching as he tilted his head. You almost felt like that was Negan’s way of drawing attention to you so Rick would know.

“Onward Rick!” Negan boasted and pushed into the center of Rick’s back and the movement caused Rick to let out an angered grunt.

While walking through the familiar streets, you could see The Saviors taking things out of the houses and you could feel your face blushing over. Part of you was embarrassed that Negan was acting this way. That they were doing this. You knew all along that this was the person Negan was, but the fact you were also taking part in it killed you on the inside.

You stood at the back of the group, watching Rick and Negan interact. It blew your mind that Negan had given Rick Lucille. Rick was the strongest person you had ever met and it was clear that Negan had broken him. The Rick that you knew would have launched himself at Negan, bashed Negan’s brain in with Lucille for hurting those that Rick considered family, but Rick was just walking around like a lost dog—following Negan.

You got the occasional stare from the people in Alexandria, but no one said anything. Maybe out of fear or to keep Negan from getting angry. Rosita noticed you right away earlier, but that made sense. She hated you from the start and hadn’t originally wanted you there. You continued to follow the group throughout everything that took place. Negan mocking Rick with a camera. Father Gabriel taking you to Maggie and Sasha’s grave. You had felt bad about it. You’d never really gotten close to either one of them, but they seemed like good people. Negan’s crude comments had gone on deaf ears to you when Negan talked about Maggie. It was something that you were used to when it came from his mouth.

When the sound of a gunshot went off, you had followed the group to Rick’s home where Carl had been holding a gun to The Saviors. You watched that take place. When you had started to leave with Negan and Rick, Carl noticed you. He moved at you and you held your hand up to motion him not to. You didn’t want further damage to happen to those that were already having complications today.

Negan had you follow them to the stock of the food, the stock of the guns and throughout everything you stayed quiet. Even when Negan started threatening to kill Olivia because of the missing guns, you said nothing. You didn’t agree with it, but you let it happen. It’s what he demanded of you. You just had to turn your emotions off and just let everything happen. You had to stand watch while Negan sat in the secluded area with Olivia. Olivia kept making eye contact with you, she remembered you and it was obvious. Hell, it looked like she was almost begging you to help her, but you couldn’t. Negan went on rambling about something while drinking the lemonade that was made for him. Negan rambling was very unnerving when you didn’t know him, hell, it drove you crazy when you first met him.

Your jaw clenched when you saw Negan’s eyes meet yours, his glare seeming to linger out at you as a smile cracked in over the corners of his lips.

“This is some damn fine lemonade Y/N, would ya like some?” Negan held out his glass toward you and your nose wrinkled. It was like he was almost mocking you in the moment as a deep laugh fell from his lips and he leaned further back in the bench with Olivia. “So where the fuck did you stay when you were here? Does this shit bring up any nostalgia for you?”

You stared out at Negan, his eyebrows perked up when he looked at you. You knew he told you not to talk, so you said nothing. He noticed your stubborn attitude and clenched his fist on the arm that was wrapped around Olivia.

“Speak,” Negan demanded and you could feel your throat tightening as he ordered you.

“I stayed in a house by Rick’s family,” you explained uneasily and Negan’s eyebrows perked up before a smile pressed in over the corners of his lips. “It was where they had put new people when they got here. So Rick could keep a close eye on them. I wasn’t here long…”

“Oh, I know weren’t here long,” he muttered dramatically, taking a long swig of the lemonade before shrugging. “We’ll have to take a tour there one day since I think I’ll be coming back very soon. Very fucking soon.”

You were thankful that not soon after Rick had found the weapons. You were terrified that Negan would kill someone. You knew he was capable of it. The worst part is you knew that he would have killed someone too. Easily. Without thinking twice. 

When you were leaving, you found yourself thankful. Thankful that Rick was able to make things work out and thankful that Daryl hadn’t acted out of place. The thing that terrified you the most was when Negan had a gun pointed at Daryl to try and scared Rick. You really thought he would take the shot and when he shot the window instead, you found yourself thankful. You didn’t even speak out then. Nothing. He asked you to stay quiet and you did, even though you were terrified.

When everything was said and done, you got back on the truck with Daryl. Dwight was no longer with the two of you after he had taken Daryl’s motorcycle and you could see the trip had messed Daryl up. Bad. He was rocking back and forth in his seat and his hands were trembling. Reaching out, you tried to caress your hand soothingly over his shoulders to help him calm down. That was his family that was being tortured. Those were the people he wanted to be with and protect, but he couldn’t and you knew that killed him.

When you felt the trucks stopping, you felt your body tensing up. It wasn’t long enough for them to have made it back to The Sanctuary yet. The men started getting off the trucks and pulling out the mattresses that they had grabbed and you looked to Daryl with a confused expression. Standing up slowly, you felt Daryl trying to urge you to sit back down and you shook your head. Jumping off the truck, you could see that The Saviors were piling the mattresses on top of each other. One of the men moved toward the group with a can of gas and you stepped forward.

“What the hell are you guys doing?” you blurted out feeling someone grab a hold of your arm and pull you back roughly. Feeling your back slamming into someone’s chest, you looked over your shoulder to see Negan behind you. “Negan, those are perfectly good mattresses. People at The Sanctuary could use those. They are worth keeping and…”

“Did I say you could get off the fucking truck?” Negan snarled and you could feel him releasing you. You stared out at him for a long moment before biting back your words. You knew he told you that you couldn’t question anything or backtalk him. Biting down on your lip, you went to move around Negan who stared out at you with his angered eyes. When you made it around him, you felt him pulling you back. “You know what? No, I think you should stand here and watch this.”

Saying nothing, you felt him pulling you in front of him and you could feel his hands settling in over your shoulders. Negan squeezed firmly over your shoulders as you watched the men continue to drench the mattresses in gas. The only reason they did this was just to prove that they could and you knew that. Negan’s proud laugh behind you had you cringing, this was such a waste.

“Isn’t that a fucking beautiful sight?” Negan muttered behind you as they set fire to the mattresses and you watched them go up in flames. Your throat clenched as Negan tapped you on the shoulder and laughed another hearty laugh. “See, you either learn to be like us or…you’re never going to fit in here. Now get back on the truck.”

“Yes Negan,” you watched him smile out at you with an amused expression over his face. He watched your every move back to the truck and when you hopped back up, you said absolutely nothing to Daryl. He tried multiple times to get you to talk, but nothing worked. When you got back to The Sanctuary, you could feel your face on fire. Everything was so ridiculously overwhelming today and the long ride back made it just as hard. As soon as you stepped off the truck, you could feel someone grabbing a tight hold of your arm and pulling you forward. “What the hell?”

Looking, you saw Dwight pulling you toward the building while someone else pulled Daryl in. You could feel Dwight tugging you up the stairs toward your room and before you could question what was happening, you felt your body being pushed into your room. You stumbled forward and heard the door slam shut behind you and when you went for the doorknob, you felt it locked against your motions.

“Oh this is some serious bullshit,” you tried shaking the doorknob again, but nothing happened. Rolling your eyes, you moved to the fridge and pulled it open. Looking inside, you saw that the food that used to be there was gone and all that remained was just a few bottles of water. Negan was not fucking joking. He was fully going forward with this whole punishment thing. Nothing confused you more than the idea that last night he wanted to be laying with you and holding you, but today it was like he was the cruel man that the people of Alexandria knew him to be and that was truly the hard part about everything.

 

* * *

  
  
Turning in bed, you tried cuddling the pillow you had close to your body, but nothing seemed to help you sleep. All you could think about was the faces of those in Alexandria. The fear, the confusion…it stuck in your mind and it wasn’t leaving. The sound of someone at your door caused you to lift your head from the bed when you saw Negan walking into the room. Staying where you were, you could hear him whistling a tune to himself as he shut the door.

“Sit up,” he ordered and you sighed heavily. Slowly raising up from the position you were in, you could see his dimples suck in as a smile pressed in over the corners of his lips. You were doing everything he asked, without question. That fact alone clearly made him happy. “Good girl…listen, we need to talk about some serious shit.”

“Yes sir,” you breathed in and didn’t know how he wanted you to respond. He pushed his hands into his pockets and shrugged in an exaggerative manner as you eyed him over. You didn’t know what to say. You weren’t okay with being thrown up in your room and locked in when you had done everything that he wanted hours earlier. “What do you want to talk about?”

“I’ve been thinking about things and I just fucking figured I’d be a decent guy…come and tell you this myself,” Negan’s voice was deep and lacked complete emotion as his eyebrows perked up. His voice was dark and his tone was deeper than normal. “I’m gonna be honest here and fucking tell you, I’ve had a really good time with you, but I think it’s time to let you know that this shit we have going on here…it’s over. We’re done.”

“What?” you laughed uneasily watching him pull one of his hands up to press in over his jawline and rub over it. You could see his eyebrows arching up and a he leaned back casually. You rolled your eyes and pulled yourself back on the bed as you leaned your back against the wall to brace yourself to look up at him better. “Okay.”

“I’m fucking serious,” his head tilted to the side and you moved up from your bed, moving in closer to him. He eyed you over with his serious, hazel eyes and you could see him nod slowly. “We’re done.”

“What do you mean we are done?” you blurted out, feeling an ache in the center of your chest as he stared out at you. This couldn’t have been because of today. Everything you did, he asked you to do. You kept your mouth closed, you did what he asked. This wasn’t making any sense to you. Negan’s tongue slid in over his bottom lip and he raised his hands up like it should have been obvious to you why he was doing this.  
  
“I’m pretty fucking sure you know what I mean Y/N. This thing we had going was nice, but I’m done,” Negan watched you closely and nodded. There was a frown that pressed in over the corners of your lips and you could see him shrug again when he noticed it. “Tonight I’m going to be with one of my wives, but I just…I needed to fucking let you know that we are…done. Trust me, you are a fucking great fuck, but what’s going on here…it’s not working for me. I was gonna have Simon come and tell you, but I thought it was best heard by me.”

“It’s not working for you?” you repeated his words with a bit of anger behind your voice. You could feel a flushing pressing in over your face and Negan stared out at you almost emotionless. “Bullshit. Someone who feels that way wouldn’t come to me and let me hold him like I have. You wouldn’t have fucking told me that the only way that you can sleep is when you are with me and…”

“Don’t you ever hear of men feeling connected to someone when they take their virginity? Almost like they feel fucking responsible for them?” Negan began and you let out an overwhelmed sound. He shrugged his shoulders and caressed his gloved hand over the side of his jaw. “I’m not saying you aren’t a good fuck darling, I’m just saying…this whole thing is more stress than it’s worth and now it is over. You don’t have to worry about me doing things that you don’t like and I don’t have to worry about you making errors anymore.”

“This is absolute bullshit. This morning you came and saw me in the truck. Told me as long as I did what you wanted, everything would be fine. I did what you asked of me and now this is happening? You are here telling me this? Is this because I was upset by you burning those mattresses?” you questioned when you saw his eyebrows tense and you let out a heavy sigh.

“Aw, fuck…fucking hell. Shit girl,” Negan chuckled when he stepped back to look you over. “I don’t need a fucking reason as to why I’m doing something. You also don’t get to fucking question me.”

“This is bullshit Negan. The only reason you are doing this is because for once in your fucking life after everything fell to shit, you care for someone. Hell, you might even love me and I think that’s why you are doing this. You are scared that liking someone like you do with me that you are going to lose the act that you have going and people are going to start thinking you are weak. Love doesn’t make people weak Negan. Thing is, I’m not telling a person about us. I don’t even let Dwight see how I feel. No one sees the way you are with me Negan. You shouldn’t be scared of this…”

“I’m not scared. I’m just sick of the trouble that you cause me,” Negan’s smirk expanded and you heard an arrogant laugh escape his lips. You couldn’t believe how amused he was with himself right now. It wasn’t at all like the Negan you knew. “I’m in love with you? Me? In love with you? Why the hell do you think I have so many wives? I got sick of being with just one girl. Why stick to the old standards? I wanted to fuck whoever the hell I wanted and not get stuck with just one single person. Why would I fall in love with you? I think you have that backwards. You…you are the one that is in love with me.”

“Bullshit,” you called out and could see his smile expanding. Moving across the room, you watched him closely and could see his hazel eyes staring down at you as you stepped before him. “You love me. You wouldn’t act the way you have if you didn’t…”

Pressing your hand in over the center of his broad chest, you tipped up on your toes to press a soft kiss over the front of Negan’s lips. You could feel him stiff against you, not responding to the caress of your lips over his and you pulled away.

“You want to hear how much I love you?” Negan snarled seeing the way your eyebrows clenched and he nodded. The veins in his neck were showing, his jaw clenching and his forehead tightening while his voice started to rise. “The day that you were sick and you spent the night with me and you denied me...that next morning I fucked one of my wives as soon as you were gone. The day you gave me that blowjob, you bet your ass a few fucking hours later I was fucking another one of my wives. The morning after sleeping with you for the first time, I got a blowjob from Sherry. When I locked you up in that cell, I was fucking one of my wives. I was gonna do it again in front of you. Fuck, don’t you see that’s not someone who fucking loves you? Shit, my goodness girl. You have a very warped view on love. So you want to tell me again how the fuck I love you? Does that sound like a man that loves you?”

“I know what you are like,” you could feel your cheeks blushing over with warmth and you could hear Negan’s breathing getting heavier as he stepped in closer to you. “I knew that you had other women when I got into this with you Negan. You’re trying to make me jealous, but I get it.”

“I’m not trying to make you jealous; I’m telling you the fucking truth. I fuck…a lot. I have several wives where their only job is to pamper me and be there for me when I please. You will not be the last girl that I grab and bring back to The Sanctuary to fuck and ask to be my wife,” Negan informed you with a growl, his eyes narrowing out at you as he reached up to grab a tight hold of your jaw. “You were a good fuck, but other than that…that’s all. I only wanted to fuck you and the fact you held out so long, that intrigued me.”

Negan leaned back and let out a laugh as he nodded toward the door again, “Here is how things are going to go from now on. You…you are not going to come looking for me. We don’t interact, unless I come and try to find you. If you come fucking looking for me, I throw you back in that cell. You do not talk to me, unless I talk to you first and tell you that you can speak. I come into a room, you fucking kneel.”

“This is fucked up,” you snarled feeling Negan’s hand pressing into the center of your chest and forcing you to sit down on the edge of the bed. He looked down at you, his jaw clenching as he continued with your rules.

“Shut the fuck up and listen,” Negan demanded with a growl, grabbing a hold of your jaw again as he continued to speak. “You will still be working for points. Your point scale will be higher since you are a Savior, unlike them you have to work for the points though since you fucked up so many fucking times. Eventually if you work hard enough, we’ll think about getting rid of the point system for you. You will report to Simon. You will do as he says; he will be the person in charge for you. When you go out on runs, you’ll be going with him.”

“Simon?” you repeated with an angered breath and he nodded, slowly lowering down in front of you with a bright smile. “Simon will be in charge of me? This is fucked up Negan. You told me to act a certain way today and I did. You told me to listen to you and I did. You told me to follow yours orders and I have. Why are you doing this?”

“No, no. I’m the person in charge. You don’t get to question me. I can do what I want, whenever the fuck I want,” Negan informed you with a bright smile, squeezing your cheeks in his hand as he spoke. “If you don’t follow my rules, you are going to end up in the cell again. Do you understand that? Huh?”

“Yes,” you winced feeling him squeezing harder at your face and you pulled away with a wince knowing that it was hurting more than typical. “I understand…”

There was a silence between the two of you as you felt your eyes misting over. Negan got up and started moving for the door as you looked to him and saw him stop before leaving. You were hurt because this wasn’t at all how Negan had built up your relationship. It was almost like you were talking to someone else right now.

“You’re a fucking asshole,” you muttered and you could see him turn and look back at you. A laugh fell from his lips as he threw his hands up and nodded.

“Yup, I am…and you still wanted to fuck me from the start knowing that,” Negan reminded you with a proud smile and he nodded toward the door. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a wife waiting for me in my room right now, so I have to get going.”

Clenching your hands at your side, you tried to fight to keep yourself from crying and getting upset. You had done everything and anything Negan wanted. You had given yourself to him fully and he was mocking you like it meant nothing. Your jaw tensed as you thought about what you could do to keep him from letting this happen and you said the first thing that you could think of.

“I’ll be your wife,” you whispered feeling a stray tear pressing in over the side of your face. You saw Negan holding onto the door handle. He had just opened the door, but when he heard you, he stopped and looked over his shoulder at you. His eyebrow arched up and a laugh escaped his lips. “If that’s what you want…I’ll do it.”

Negan turned to you, pushing his fingertips into his hair to slick it back. He moved before you and lowered back down in front of you again. He made a tisking sound and you could feel him reaching out to press your hair back behind your ear.

“Aw, sweetheart,” Negan’s tongue slid in over his bottom lip and a wicked smile pressed in over the corners of his lips. Negan’s thumb caressed over the side of your face, collecting up the tear from your face before sucking over his thumb and smiling. “That offer fucking expired a few hours ago…nice try though.”

Negan tapped the side of your face lightly before getting up from the floor. You could feel your hands trembling as he moved to your door and let out a devious laugh.

“You were strong, remember? Daryl found you when you were all alone, I’m sure you will do perfectly fine on your own here,” Negan winked and you could feel your heart pounding inside of your chest while he stared out at you. The ache in your chest grew and you could hear Negan’s rumble of laughter again before he closed the door behind him. Reaching for the alarm clock beside the bed, you launched it at the door and could hear it shatter within the impact.

You didn’t know what had gotten into Negan, but he was an asshole and it wasn’t the man that you had grown to know at all.

\---------


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The OC (reader) has to deal with the punishment that has been put on her by Negan.

“Time to get up,” you heard someone walking into your room as you were turned on your side facing the wall. You hadn’t slept at all during the night. You were too upset and didn’t even want to be in this fucking place anymore. Hearing the groan of someone behind you, you felt a hand wrapping around your ankle to pull you from the bed. The force of the pull was strong enough to make you fall to the ground in a thud when you saw Dwight standing over you. “I said get up! You have things you need to do today.”

You probably gave him the dirtiest glare that you had ever dealt out to someone, but you didn’t care. You were upset and just didn’t give a shit anymore. Standing up from the floor, you followed Dwight out of your room and to the stairs.

“Get over here!” Dwight demanded when you moved down the stairs of The Sanctuary. Your eyes narrowed out at him as he pulled you toward the kitchen area. There was a silver platter sitting there waiting and you could see certain fruits spread out over it. “You’re going to go and take this up to Negan this morning.”

“Oh, fuck off…” you snorted, feeling Dwight grabbing a hold of your neck when you went to walk away. A gag escaped your lips when you forcefully shoved him back away from you. Forcing you to serve Negan when he had just broken things off of you was extremely cruel and you knew that’s why they were doing it. It was like Dwight was purposely trying to be an asshole to you to rub it in. “I work for Simon, not for you.”

“It was straight from the boss’s orders, Negan demanded it,” Dwight proudly responded and you could feel your chest tightening. “Now remember, you aren’t to talk to him. You can look at him, but you can’t say a fucking thing. As soon as he dismisses you, you come and find me. I have work for you to do out in the yard with the prisoners today since Simon isn’t here, but hey…feel good about yourself! You get to spend time with Daryl today!”

Dwight shoved the silver platter into your chest making you let out a whimper as you looked down at the food. Clearing your throat, you moved up the stairs of The Sanctuary and moved toward Negan’s bedroom. Knocking on the door, you could hear Negan’s voice beckoning you into the room and when you pushed the door open, you could see Negan in bed with one of his wives that you had personally yet to meet. Biting down on your cheeks, you looked out to see Negan sitting propped against the headboard of the bed while his wife was laying face first into one of the pillows. Negan had a sheet covering his lower half and you cleared your throat uneasily. You could feel your cheeks warming over as Negan’s eyebrows perked up when he saw you in the doorway. It was like he was extremely excited to see that it was you there, sick bastard.

“Breakfast,” Negan slowly rose up from the bed and you watched him walk over toward you. He was naked and you could see in the corner of the room that his wife was naked as well. She was either still sleeping or pretending to be sleeping, but you could feel your body tensing up. Negan had successfully hurt you with one of his wives; unlike he was able to do the night before. When Negan eyed you over closely and could see you were reacting to it, a proud smile pressed in over his lips. You could feel a lump growing in the base of your throat and you wished that you wouldn’t have let it bother you so much. Your eyes had to have been telling Negan that you were upset to because he was watching you extremely closely. Negan reached for the toothpick that was on the tray and stabbed a strawberry with it before raising it up to his lips. “I always fucking loved a good breakfast…”

Negan wrapped his lips around the strawberry and bit into in an arrogant fashion. You felt your jaw tightening when Negan looked over his shoulder to look at his naked wife and then turned back to you with a smile. He reached for another piece of fruit before motioning you further into his room. He pointed at the table for you to set down the silver tray and you could feel your jaw clenching in anger. He was torturing you and you knew that.

Negan stepped in close to you, his naked body pressing closely to yours as he reached around you for another piece of fruit. He plopped it into his mouth before a laugh fell deep from within his throat. His eyes never left yours and you could feel his warm breath pressing in over your face.

“I bet you’re dying to say something right now,” Negan mocked you further and you closed your eyes tightly, trying to keep yourself from getting angrier. His grip was felt on your jaw and you opened your eyes to see him staring out at you. His wife had started moving in the bed and Negan smiled when he heard her moving behind him. “Dear wife, why not come and have a piece of fruit here.”

Negan kept his hand firmly on your jaw and you could feel him tug you forward a bit, making a wince escape your lips. You reached up to grab a tight hold of his wrist and could see his eyes narrowing out at you. You weren’t allowed to talk to him or to even touch him, so you slowly lowered your hand. A grin pressed in over his lips before he released you and you stumbled back slightly.

“See, I’d offer you a piece, but I’m not sure that’s what you want to spend your points on, is it?” Negan muttered and you could feel your heart pounding inside of your chest. You wanted to hit his smug face as he spoke to you and you could feel your hands slightly trembling. Negan’s laugh filled the air and you went to leave, but he motioned you to stay. His wife had moved out of bed and you were certain that Negan wanted you there to see both of them very much naked. “Not such a smartass anymore, are you?”

Your chest rose and fell heavily as Negan moved for his dresser. He pulled out some boxers and pulled them up his body while you felt like he never took his eyes off you.

“I bet you want to hit me right now, don’t you? You want to fucking say something?” Negan moved forward and you could see that his wife looked back at you with a frown. She had wrapped a robe around her body and you watched her reach out to grab a hold of his hand to pull him away from you. You could see sympathy in her eyes as she forced Negan into a kiss. She looked toward the door, hinting that she was giving you an escape and you moved for the door. “Whoa, hold on…”

“Negan, I’m hungry…” she purred against his lips and Negan grabbed a hold of her waist, pulling her closer to him. “Let her leave…”

Negan said nothing more and you left his room. You went back to the kitchen and said nothing to Dwight who gave you your orders. You were to help keep watch while the prisoners dealt with the zombie trap that Negan had outside of The Sanctuary. Surprisingly, Dwight hadn’t said much to you while you stood outside with him. You almost expected that he would have mocked you or tried to dig the knife deeper. At one point he even offered you half of the sandwich that he had, but you denied it.

Quite often Daryl would look back at you and you almost wished that he didn’t. He was focusing too much on you and you could feel that he wasn’t focusing enough on his job. It terrified you to watch him out there. If he was focused on you, he wouldn’t stay safe out there and that worried you. You didn’t want anything bad to happen to him.

Sighing heavily, you leaned back against the wall of The Sanctuary. Dwight moved up the stairs beside you and leaned next to you. It was uncomfortable because you could tell that he was watching you closely. You hated Dwight and didn’t understand his new found kindness when you were with him today.

“I was only trying to prove a point you know,” Dwight finally spoke up, his eyes meeting yours and you could feel your hands clenching at your side. This was him trying to prove a point? You laughed lightly and rolled your eyes at his comment which clearly offended him. “Yeah, I gave Negan a hard time about you and I’ll admit I’m probably the reason he’s being an asshole to you, but if I can convince him to do what he’s doing to you – do you really think that he’s worth your time? Sherry was my wife. I see what he does to them. He drains them, makes them feel like they are nothing, but an item to him. Negan would have drained you soon enough and it was the best for you that this happened.”

“Oh right, that was definitely helping me out,” you blurted out with a snarl, giving him a sideways glance. You tried to put two and two together before shaking your head slowly. “His wives fucking hate him. It’s obvious when he walks into a room and they look at him. I fucking cared about him, tell me how I was wrong for him.”

“Did I say that? I was saying that he was wrong for you. Right now, you were just amazed by the glam of Negan. You think what you felt was special, but it wasn’t. Negan is great at the start, but then he just turns out to be the monster that he has always been. There is a reason all of those women hate him,” Dwight pointed out with a wrinkle of his nose, still not understanding why you were defending Negan. “Look at my fucking face…”

“I knew what he was,” you pointed out with a sigh, giving him a sympathetic look. “I accepted him as he was…”

“This is Negan. What he’s done to you, I pushed him to it, but your punishment—that’s all Negan,” Dwight insisted and you still found yourself angry with Dwight. “One day, you are going to thank me for all of this. It might not be anytime soon, but you will…”

“Thanks for getting my privileges taken away, for having severe rules put on me and the constant fear of being thrown into a cell if I break any of those rules,” you stated with a mocking tone and you heard Dwight let out a heavy huff. “Thanks for that.”

“Hey, I was trying with you today. I offered you some of my food, I was trying to…” Dwight could see the group that had left was starting to return and he stifled his conversation with you. You gulped down uneasily and knew that you had to keep it under wraps. When the two of you spotted Simon, you could see Dwight clenching up.

“Good news guys,” Simon walked up as he carried a box in his arms that were full of bottles. His goofy expression was plastered all over his face and you found yourself still very much irritated with what Dwight had done. He thought he was helping you, he thought that he was fixing things when he was really just fucking everything up for you. Life was alright and you were comfortable with the way things were, but he helped to fuck everything up. “At the Hilltop…”

Dwight’s attention was on Simon and that’s when you could feel all the rage in your body building up. Snapping your arm out, you brought your fist into the side of Dwight’s face knocking him completely off guard and making him stumble down the steps. Your fist stung and when you looked down, you could see that your knuckles were bleeding from the hit, but you used all the might that you had. Dwight looked up at you with his angered eyes and you moved to Simon. Simon had let out a loud laugh at the hit you gave Dwight. You knew that he had told you to hit Dwight in the past, but probably doubted that you would. Simon’s goofy grin made a half smirk press in over your features as you could feel your heart pounding in the center of your chest. Dwight’s nose was bleeding and the good side of his face was a burning red, but you didn’t react. You weren’t scared of him. You were just surprised with how hard your hit actually was to begin with.

“Just take this where the rest of the supplies goes?” you questioned and Simon nodded when you grabbed the box from his hands. You went to leave and Simon motioned you to wait a moment. “Yeah?”

“Do you need some ice cream or something? I mean, we have it,” Simon offered and you let out a tight laugh when he reached up with his free hand to caress over his mustache. “Or hell, you could have some of that booze.”

“I don’t think I have the points to do that yet and Negan was damn sure to point out that I need the points to get things,” you stated with a nod of your head and you moved back into The Sanctuary.

“In all fairness,” Simon spoke up when you had left and he looked to Dwight with a bright smile. “You fucking deserved that.”

 

* * *

 

Sitting at the table in the back corner of the eating area, you surveyed the room. No one wanted to be near you. There were those that once knew that you were something to Negan, most of them obviously knew that now. Which you were sure made them think that you were a monster or some poor girl that was manipulated by Negan. Two things of which you didn’t want to be known by. Now most of them also probably knew you as the girl that Negan was punishing. Those who at least worked for Negan did.

“What? No extravagant lunch?” you heard an English accent press in over you and you froze up. Looking up, you saw Michael standing before you with a bright smile. His arrogant smile made you cringe and his usual charmingly good looks didn’t help with his attitude today. It was clear that he was digging at you and you were not in the mood to hear it. “Not eating today, huh?”

You wished he would have just left, but you watched him moving in to sit at the table with you. Your eyes never left his and you could feel your throat clenching as you saw the smug look over his features. His green eyes narrowed out at you and you could tell that he knew Negan dumped you on your ass.

“Man, I hate to tell you I told you so, but…” Michael began and you slammed your hand on the table making him and a few others jump from the randomness of it. Michael looked to your hand that was out over the table and you could see that it was still bleeding. His arrogant expression changed and you felt him reaching out to grab a hold of your hand. His thumb caressed over the back of it and you pulled your hand from him. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” you lied, watching Michael clear his throat uneasily and his jaw clenched. His handsome features seemed nervous and you could tell that he wanted to mock you, but at the same time didn’t. “You came over to clearly speak your mind, so please…continue on with what you were going to say and please don’t pretend to give a shit about what’s going on with me.”

Michael looked down at his food, his strong jawline clenching when he pushed at his food that he had. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see on the second floor that Negan and Simon were talking. Negan was watching over everyone and when his eyes met yours, he raised his hand up to mockingly wave out at you. Simon looked confused before looking out to see what he was waving at and when Simon saw you, his expression turned to irritated. It was clear that Simon did not agree with how Negan was treating you, but Negan was being an arrogant asshole and that wasn’t going to change.

“I warned you about him,” Michael’s deep voice slurred in over you as your eyes lowered to stare out at him. You tilted your head to the side and let out a heavy breath. You were so sick of people telling you that they warned you or saved you with Negan. “When you no longer serve a use to Negan, he drops you like nothing.”

“Who did he kill in your family? I mean clearly he killed someone in your family, but I’m wondering who it was. A sibling? A fiancé? Maybe a child? A cousin? What is it?” you bluntly changed the subject and could see Michael’s green eyes widening as you asked. He dropped the spoon back into his soup bowl and shrugged his massive shoulders. “I mean, you are big enough to take him on pretty easily. You have a few inches on him in height, you are ripped…you’re younger….so clearly he had all of his men overpower your group and you watched someone you loved die. So I’d like to hear your story Michael.”

“My father,” Michael answered with a firm nod of his head, his voice deepening as he spoke. “I was here with my family for a family vacation. I get it, I look a little old to be on a family vacation with my family, but my parents wanted my family to be close knit. Every year we would go to the place where my parents first met. My father was English, my mother was American. They met while on a tour and they always wanted to return to the same place to keep their love alive each year. We were here when the virus started. My parents, my younger brother and younger sister were all with me. My little sister was the first to go to the virus. It happened out of nowhere. It fucked my mother up, bad. We had to group together with others after hell broke loose. After a while people kept dying. We were a big group that was camping out in the woods, but we got attacked. There I lost my brother and my mother. It was just me and my father along with a small group. Well, Negan’s group found us. My father of course was the man in charge and to make a fucking point, Negan killed my father. Negan killed the last living person that I had left in my family…the last person that I had to remind me of who I was.”

“I’m sorry,” you breathed knowing that you didn’t want to come off cruel and cold hearted, but you knew that most people’s stories were similar to that. “Losing your family is really hard and I understand that. I know what Negan does and…”

“Yet you were still fucking him,” Michael bitterly responded and you could see his jaw tightening when he spoke. He brushed his fingertips into his dark hair and shrugged his shoulders. “I think that says a lot about you. When I first met you, you reminded me of someone that I knew before the virus broke loose. It made me think something special about you because you had the same kind of look, but she would have never let Negan fuck her like that. Not knowing what kind of a monster he was, she wasn’t a slut that…”

That was it. That was all that Michael had to say to set you off again. You were trying to be nice, you were trying to listen to him, but you weren’t about to take someone’s shit again. Not now. Michael was a good looking guy, but you weren’t about to take Michael calling you a slut without having some kind of reaction out of you. A fire built inside of you as you stood up and used your power to hit him the same way you had done Dwight earlier. The connection your hand made with his face had hurt more than it did with Dwight’s since you were already hurt as it was, but you didn’t care. You weren’t going to be taking people’s shit. Not anymore.

“Jesus Christ,” Michael stammered from the ground after you had knocked him off his seat with the hit you gave him. It was firm in the right side of his jaw and you could feel your hand numb all over. Looking up, you could see that Simon and Negan were both watching you from the upper level and you raised a finger up to flick off Negan. An amused smirk pressed in over Negan’s lips as you reached for Michael’s soup and dumped it on top of him hearing the grunt that escaped his lips. “You are a real bitch.”

“And you were a super nice guy for saying what you just did,” you blurted out, seeing his green eyes narrowing when he thought it over. What he said was actually wretched and you could tell that the others around you seemed scared after your blowup. It was twice in one day that you decked two men that were considered Saviors. Moving across the dining area, you saw Negan was now on the steps while Simon stood beside him holding a bowl of something in his hands. When your eyes met Negan’s you could see that he started clapping his hands together at what happened.

“Oh my goodness!” Negan boasted, stomping his right foot as you stared up at him. He nudged Simon with his arm and jumped slightly where he was standing. “Look at this one! A man says something to piss her the fuck off and POW! Right fucking hook! Fuckity fuck!”

Negan put emphasis his words and looked to see Michael slowly getting up in the corner of the dining area. Negan clapped his hands together again and looked to you with a proud expression.

“The fire is fucking strong in you,” Negan blurted out again and you could see that Simon didn’t know how to respond. “I mean, did you see that right hook? Her damn knuckles are fucking bleeding all over the place. I mean I’m just standing here, minding my own fucking business and…bam! There she goes punching the hell outta that guy. You are such a badass!”

“Negan…” you began speaking, seeing the way his jaw lowered almost in amusement as you stepped away from the stairs. You knew that you weren’t allowed to talk to Negan unless he gave you permission, but at this point you didn’t give a shit. “You can go fuck yourself, you fucking jackass.”

There was a gasp that filled the room and Negan’s smile expanded. He lowered his hands and nodded slowly. He did nothing, just arched his eyebrow up at you as you turned the other way toward the hallway that led toward the cells. You flicked Negan off one more time before moving out of the dining area. When you reached the cells, you moved down the hall to the cell that you were placed in last time and moved to the corner of the hallway. Sitting down on top of one of the containers that they had, you waited for someone to come and get you. You broke the rules already, but you didn’t give a shit. You were going to embrace being thrown in the cell; you weren’t in the mood to be scared right now.

Looking up, you could see someone approaching and when you saw that it was Simon, you let out a long breath. You kind of hoped it wouldn’t be him that threw you in there, but if it had to happen, then it was going to happen.

“What are you doing here?” Simon questioned with a laugh when he saw you sitting in the corner of the hallway. He came to you and carefully sat down beside you, a heavy sigh escaping his lips when he got comfortable. “Why are you waiting here?”

“I talked to Negan, I hit two Saviors and I told Negan off in front of a lot of people at lunch. Just waiting to get put into that cell,” you nodded toward it and Simon shook his head. “Negan is not going to be okay with what I did. I can accept that.”

“I think a lot of the people just think you are on the rag,” Simon muttered and you let out a laugh that even shocked you. Simon slowly handed you over a bowl and you looked to see that it was ice cream. “You can either eat it or you can use the bowl as an ice pack for that hand. I’m sure it’s hurting like hell.”

“I can’t eat it,” you responded and saw Simon shrug when he gave you the bowl. You placed it over your hand and could feel the cooling sensation of the bowl against your stinging skin. “Thank you.”

“No, thank you. Those were two men I wanted to see get hit and you fucking did it. I told you to hit that bastard Dwight a long time ago, but I didn’t think you actually would. It was like watching a boxing match again, but with a girl that hits like a power house. You know, the underdog that has a hit that shocks the world,” Simon held his hands up and threw his hands out a few times like he was boxing before looking to you with a laugh. “That was fucking awesome.”

“Negan is going to want to throw me in there though,” you reminded him with a heavy sigh, knowing that Simon was proud of you and amused, but it wasn’t something that was going to fly with Negan. “So you better throw me in there now…”

“Nah, I think it’s different when someone is terrified to be thrown in there as opposed to someone readily accepting that they are going to be thrown in there. It’s not exactly the same and I know Negan wouldn’t be okay with me throwing you in there right now,” Simon shrugged his shoulders and reached for the spoon that was in the bowl to take a bite of the ice cream. You gave him an odd glance as he shrugged his shoulders and spoke with a mouthful. “You’re not eating it, so I figured why the hell not. Let’s not waste good ice cream, right? You know what it takes to make this shit?”

“No, I don’t,” you answered truthfully and let out an uneasy breath as Simon grabbed the spoon. He dipped it into the bowl again and made train noise almost as if to make you laugh as he held the spoon out in front of your mouth. “You’re kidding right?”

“Would it kill you to smile? Geez-us,” Simon huffed making a smirk press in over your lips before he motioned you to take a bite of the ice cream. You did as he said and he nodded proudly. “See, awesome, right?”

“Eh, not as good as the store bought stuff,” you replied and he rolled his eyes at you before taking a bite for himself. He let out a nerved groan and you laughed at his response to you. “I’m just saying.”

“This is the fucking zombie apocalypse girl, you can’t pick and choose,” he playfully nudged you with his elbow before you handed him over the bowl and he frowned. “You don’t want it?”

“I’m not allowed to have it,” you answered with a frown and you looked down the hallway to see Negan approaching the two of you. Simon’s goofy expression left his face as you lowered your head and heard Negan’s whistling as he approached the two of you. When he stepped before you and Simon, both of you were silent. There was an awkward silence that filled the hallway and you looked down toward the ground.

“What are you supposed to do when I walk into a room?” Negan’s deep voice pressed in over you as you looked up at him with a frustrated expression. He nodded slowly and motioned to the ground as you got up from where you were sitting. You kneeled down and a laugh escaped his lips when you did as he told. “Good girl.”

Looking up from where you were kneeling, you could see Negan’s massive grin as a deep, muted laugh fell from his lips. He motioned you to stand up and you could feel your breathing getting heavier as you stared out at him.

“Now, I get it. You are bound to be fucking angry and make mistakes. It’s an emotional fucking day for you. So I’ll let everything you did today go cuz I’m a nice fucking guy,” Negan muttered with a slur as he leaned back dramatically. “It hurts when you find out that the guy you were falling for dumps you on your ass, but we’re going to have to get our shit together! Fucking understand? I know this is all a fucking ton of shit to go through, but you can’t be wild and reckless…shit.”

Negan moved over to where you were sitting previously and took a seat next to Simon. He reached for the ice cream bowl and took a hefty bite before smiling widely, “Mmm, that’s good.”

You said nothing, you were so mad at Negan, but didn’t want to push your luck today.

“You can leave,” Negan urged you to turn and leave him alone with Simon. When you turned and started moving back toward the end of the hallway, you heard him calling out to you. Returning, you could see him continuing to eat the ice cream that Simon had brought for you. “I gotta question for you. How’s your ass today? You know. Since you let me smack you with my fucking belt the other night…”

“I’m fine,” you answered with an angered tone and you could see Negan’s arrogant expression staring out at you with a peak of interest. Simon’s eyebrows perked up and you could see Simon looking you over, but you tried not to let Simon take notice that you had caught onto his look. Negan took another bite of the ice cream and you could see him licking over his bottom lip slowly afterwards. His eyes watched you like a hawk and you could tell that he was trying to get you upset. “Can I leave now?”

“What about your pussy? I kind of pounded the fuck out of it,” Negan muttered with an amused look and you could feel the heat growing in your cheeks. Negan had managed to embarrass you as Simon’s eyes got a bit wider and you nodded slowly. “Okay…you can fucking leave.”

Clenching your fist at your side, you could feel your body tightening up and you wanted to explode again. You almost felt like that was Negan’s way of trying to make you do it, but you left. You left before he could continue to dig the knife any deeper.

 

* * *

 

“You need to stop pissing in her lemonade,” Simon looked to Negan after Y/N had left them alone. Negan’s smirk slowly slipped from his face as Negan leaned back against the container and continued to eat the ice cream. “You are dumping the salt on the wounds and she is going to fucking explode on you.”

“I’m counting on it,” Negan muttered with a smirk as Simon shook his head in disbelief and reached for the bowl of ice cream, but Negan pulled it back. “Why the fuck didn’t she eat the ice cream? She know that I told you to give it to her?”

“And miss out on taking credit for being the nice guy?” Simon let out a long sigh, tilting his head to the side when he thought about Y/N. There was something on his mind that he wanted to bring up to Negan for a while now, but he wasn’t really sure how to approach it. “So now that you are punishing her and you two are kind of…not together anymore. Would you be alright with me taking a swing at that?”

“You?” a laugh fell from Negan’s lips as his nose wrinkled at the thought.

“Yeah, me…” Simon answered with a nod, tossing his hands up. “I like her, always have. I thought the fire in her was incredible. Plus, I really dig the smartass attitude. I know that’s not your thing, but it really…really turns me on.”

“I’ll fucking kill you if you put your hands on her,” Negan answered with a bright smile, reaching out to give Simon the empty bowl. He patted Simon on the shoulder a few times before standing up. “Plus, you’re not her type.”

“How do you know I’m not her type?” Simon laughed in response knowing that Negan seemed pretty confident in his answer.

“Because I’m her type,” Negan smirked and reached up to slick his hair back. Negan looked over his shoulder to make sure that they were alone before talking to Simon again. “She’s obsessed with me. Fucking pissed as all hell, but obsessed with me.”

“You really wouldn’t kill me for flirting with her and trying to hook up with her right? I mean, you aren’t even with her,” Simon pointed out with a confused tone as he stood up from the container and felt Negan’s arm wrapping around his shoulders. Negan squeezed him tight and Simon let out an uncomfortable sound. “I’m your right hand man. Your number two. You don’t want her anymore so…”

“You touch her and I’ll cut your fucking hands off. Well, that’s what I would do first anyways…and then I would make you die a very slow death,” Negan answered with a smirk pressing in over the corners of his lips. It was chilling how happy Negan looked when saying those words. Almost made Simon regret even asking. “You are my number two, but she’s my girl.”

“But, you dumped her…” Simon reminded Negan with a frown only to feel Negan reach out to pat him on the side of the face.

“But she’s still mine,” Negan stated with another small laugh before stepping back and away from Simon. “She always will be and no one…not one person can have her. Only me.”

“Negan, we’ve shared women before. It’s not like it’s a big deal. You remember those girls that we…” Simon began with a half smirk, watching the smile fade from Negan’s lips and Simon stepped back cautiously. “I’m only saying, there have been multiple women that we have shared. Ones that…frankly neither of us really care for. I’m only saying, I think the two of us would make a decent…”

“I know the girls you are talking about and I definitely remember that,” Negan winked before reaching for the center of Simon’s shirt. Negan’s tug made Simon fall forward toward Negan as Negan held Simon up. Negan’s eyes were very serious and Negan seemed quite pissed off as he spoke again. “But what I’m saying is…she’s mine.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The OC (reader) has a visit with Negan's wives that turns into a forceful situation before ending with Negan giving the reader an ultimatum.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a pre-warning: for part of this, there is a threat of forcing sexual contact onto someone without them wanting it. It's not terribly awful, but I know some things can seriously bother people, so I just want to give it a pre-warning.

After a long day of work with Simon outside of the walls of The Sanctuary, you started to head back to your room in The Sanctuary. You hadn’t eaten much lately and you knew that you had some points earned decently with how hard you had been working, but you still hadn’t gotten much to eat. You didn’t want to waste the points that you had worked so hard to get.

Moving past the room that Negan had kept his wives in, you stopped and back peddled when you saw the woman that helped you escape Negan’s tortures the other day. Clearing your throat uneasily, you walked into the room and saw her sitting on one of the couches playing chess with another one of Negan’s wives. Stepping further into the room, you could see that you caught the attention of Negan’s other wives.

“Oh…hi,” the woman from the other night spoke up and you nodded slowly. “Y/N, right?”

“Yeah, I don’t want to bother you, but I wanted to talk to you about the other day and thank you for what you did with Negan,” you muttered with a bit of a sigh, reaching up to caress over the back of your neck. “It was really nice of you.”

“Well we need to help each other sometimes when it comes to Negan,” she answered with a firm nod of her head and she shrugged her shoulders. “You’re honestly lucky that he didn’t make you one of his wives. I’m glad you were able to get out of it before he made you one of us.”

“Is it really that bad?” you blurted out, knowing that you were still head over heels for Negan. You wanted to hate him, hell, you did hate him, but you still loved him despite that fact. “I mean, he sells it like you are getting something special here.”

“We don’t have to work; we get whatever we want to an extent, but…” Amber spoke up behind you, getting your attention as you looked over your shoulder at her. She looked to the door to make sure that Negan wasn’t there and she looked absolutely terrified. “There are things we give up for this, you know? There are moments when Negan is good, but then…”

“There are moments where he isn’t,” Frankie answered from where she sat next to Amber on the couch. She had her legs crossed as she leaned forward on the couch and looked up at you. “I liked that you gave him attitude, not many people do that here. Negan deserves that and the day you were mocking him, I loved it.”

“Do any of you love Negan?” you muttered with a gulp, thankful that Sherry hadn’t been there while you were talking to them. If she would have been, there would have been no doubt issues. When you looked across the room and saw that none of them were answering, you let out a hesitant laugh. “Why get married to him then?”

“It’s not the worst thing that could happen,” another one of his wives answered from behind you and you looked to see that it was Tonya. “I mean, he’s a good looking guy, but…he gives us an out that we need. Sometimes it’s the best way to save yourself.”

“Save yourself?” you found yourself angry more so with Negan, since you actually loved him and all the women that he was ‘married’ to—didn’t seem to care much for him as it was. “What does that mean?”

“We get things from being with him. Safety, medicine, comfort of knowing we never have to be alone out there,” Frankie replied with a heavy sigh. “I know you liked him, we all do at certain points. There is good to Negan, but there are also really shitty parts of him too. Do you really see yourself being in one of these dresses and a pair of heels? I’ve seen what you are capable of. I heard that you hit Dwight and Michael…you are strong. We need more women like you out there to stand up for us.”

“Good evening girls…” you heard the deep sound of Negan’s voice entering the room and all of the girls tensed when they heard Negan’s voice. You could hear Negan whistling a tune to himself when you turned to face him. He had completely missed the fact that you were there as he began pulling his jacket open. When he lifted his gaze, he stopped in his tracks. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I was just…” you saw his eyebrows clenching together and you found yourself at a loss. Throwing your hands up, you shrugged your shoulders and had no response. Usually you were good at making excuses, but you weren’t about to tell him that you came there to thank his wife for helping you escape his attitude the other day.

“I called for her to get me something,” Frankie lied, standing up from the couch to move over toward you and you could feel your throat clenching. Nodding, you saw Negan’s eyebrow arching up to eye you over closely. “I wanted something to eat and I just…”

“Sit down,” Negan demanded and Frankie nodded before heading back toward the couch beside Amber. His gaze was still heavily locked on you before he snapped his fingers at you, pulling his jacket back up over his shoulders. “What are you supposed to do when I walk into a fucking room?”

You glared out at him, folding your arms out in front of your chest as he spoke. You knew that he was telling you to bow to him, but at this point you refused. A laugh fell from his lips when he gulped down heavily and reached up to rub over his beard.

“So what were you really doing in here, huh? Coming to take a look at what you missed out on?” Negan muttered looking around the room at his wives before a large smile pressed in over his lips. “Girls, did you know that Y/N here actually fucking asked to be one of my wives when I dumped her?”

Looking to the girls around you, you could feel your cheeks blushing over when they had just gotten done telling you how strong you were compared to the other women there.

“Damn near begged me for it,” Negan reached out to grab a hold of your jaw and you could feel his leather covered fingertips digging into your skin. Reaching up, you wrapped your hand around his wrist and could hear him let out a discomforted noise when you started squeezing around it. “Fuck, what the hell?”

His other hand grabbed a hold of your wrist and you could feel his hand squeezing around your wrist to get you to let go. His hazel eyes got angrier the longer that your fingertips gripped onto his wrist. A grunt escaped Negan’s lips as a hesitant smile pressed in over his lips.

“Let go, now…” Negan ordered, his grip getting a bit stronger as you kept your strength wrapped around his wrist. “I’m not fucking kidding…”

“Here he is…” Dwight’s voice filled the room as you looked to see Dwight holding onto the back of Daryl’s sweatshirt as he dragged him into the room. Daryl had a tight hold of a silver platter in front of him that had an assortment of fruit and chesses over it. When you saw Daryl, you released your grip from Negan’s wrist, but Negan still kept his hold over you.

“What the hell are you doin’ to her?” Daryl snarled going to move forward, only to have Dwight pull him back roughly by the collar and a grunt escaped his lips.  Daryl’s eyes were shooting daggers at Negan and a laugh escaped Negan’s lips when he looked between you and Daryl. “Let her go.”

“No,” Negan answered with another laugh, licking over his lips when he pulled you into his arms. A wince escaped your lips when he pulled you tightly to him, wrapping his arms around you from where he was behind you. The sensation of his fingers grabbing a tight hold of your jaw was felt when you let out a tight breath. “You don’t fucking tell me what to do, you dirty ass dog.”

The sensation of Negan dragging his tongue over the side of your face was felt and you let out a disgusted sound when you felt him dragging it from your jaw all the way up to your temple. It would be one thing if he was trying to pull something completely different, but you knew that he was doing it to be an asshole to piss off Daryl. He was trying to get Daryl worked up and you knew that.

“She’s mine…” Negan turned your jaw to him and you could feel him squeezing at your cheeks as he looked down at you. “Both of you are…the fucking sooner you two realize that, the quicker we are going to start understanding things here.”

“I swear…” Daryl went to move again and Dwight shoved him back once more.

“Frankie, be a dear and get the food from his hands before he drops it and wastes a fuck ton of good food,” Negan ordered and she nodded before moving to reach for the tray of food. You watched as Dwight quickly wrapped his arm around Daryl’s neck to keep him where he was when you felt Negan’s hand that was around your waist start to caress up under your t-shirt slowly. “What’s the matter Daryl? This your girl?”

“I’m not his girl,” you hissed knowing that Negan clearly didn’t believe you when you told him that you had no interest in Daryl. You tried to get out of his grasp, but his powerful arms had you locked in his grip. “Let me go.”

“No,” he slurred against the side of your face when you felt him start to press soft kisses over your jawline and you could see that Daryl was starting to fidget in Dwight’s grasp. He was trying to get out and Dwight was hold him back as well as he could. “Mmm, you want to see me make her mine Daryl? I bet you like that kind of thing, don’t you? You like to watch?”

“If you touch her, I swear to God,” Daryl warned with another snarl, his breathing increased as he tried to get out of Dwight’s grasps. Negan took Daryl’s threat and made a mockery of it as you felt Negan’s hand sliding up your shirt and palming over your breast. An angered breath fell from your lips when you tried to pull away from Negan’s grasp. “You son of a bitch.”

It happened so quickly, but Daryl was able to pull away from Dwight’s grasps and you felt Negan carefully shoving you aside as Daryl plunged at him, hitting him in the side of the face. Negan stumbled back when Dwight tackled Daryl down onto the ground.

“Now why the fuck did you have to go and do that shit?” Negan stammered reaching for the large knife that was attached to this weapons belt and you watched him hand it to Dwight to force Daryl to stay put. “Fuck, now I’m gonna have to make her do something she definitely doesn’t want to do…”

“Negan…” the wife that had helped you the other night tried to speak up and he snapped his fingers to make her stay quiet. The rest of them took the hint as well as Negan reached out to grab a tight hold of your hair, pulling you closer to him.

“Get on your knees,” Negan ordered and you gave him a glare, seeing the way that his hazel eyes stared out at you. Looking to Daryl, you could see his blue eyes staring out at the two of you, terrified. “Get on your knees now!”

“No,” you answered with a glare, seeing the smile that pressed in over his lips as Negan reached for his gun from his belt. He pulled it out and pointed it at Daryl before pulling back the hammer and you reached for his arm to get him to lower it. “Okay…I’ll get on my knees.”

“Don’t…” Daryl blurted out, squirming on the ground as Dwight dug the knife into Daryl’s jaw, not enough to cut him, but enough to make a point. “Don’t do what he says…”

“Oh no, do what I say or he is gonna die,” Negan demanded with a bright smile, his eyes watching you closely as you slowly lowered to your knees in front of him. Negan gulped down before lowering his gun at his side. “Your mouth looks so very pretty…I bet you’re a real good cock sucker…”

“Damn it Negan,” Daryl snarled from the ground trying to move again and you could see the knife digging into Daryl’s skin. “Don’t do this…”

“Daryl,” you held up your hand, knowing that Negan was playing it off like the two of you had never been together to get Daryl worked up. You knew the game he was playing and knew that it was both punishment for Daryl to make him upset while also embarrassing the hell out of you in front of everyone else. “It’s okay…”

“See, taking a hit for the team like a champ! You could learn a fucking thing or two from this one Daryl,” Negan pointed out with a wink before reaching out with his free hand to caress over the side of your face with his rough fingertips. The sensation of his thumb drawing out over your bottom lip was felt before you felt him pushing it between your lips. “Now suck on it like it’s a cock…”

Looking to Daryl, you could see him still struggling and knew that if you didn’t do what Negan asked; Negan would harm Daryl just to hurt you. Slowly sucking over Negan’s thumb, you could feel him pushing it back and forth into your mouth aggressively. Negan pulled his thumb from your lips and shoved his index and middle fingers into your mouth. A gag escaped your throat when you felt him pushing them deeply within your throat.

“There we go…” Negan muttered with a deep laugh as he looked to Daryl again and took a bold step in closer to you. He pulled his fingertips from your mouth before reaching for your hair. He pulled you close to his groin and you could feel the material of his pants pressed up against your cheek. “Now open my pants…”

“Damn you…” Daryl growled from the floor and you used the strength you had to pull back your head and look up at Negan with an angered expression.

“Do what I say or I will shoot him right now,” Negan ordered and you watched him raise the gun again. Negan’s finger looked like it was dangerously close to squeezing the trigger and you held up your hands. “I’m not fucking kidding here…”

“Okay, okay…” you breathed, reaching up to start pulling apart his belt. Daryl let out an angered sound as you could see out of the corner of your eye that he was struggling with Dwight. “Daryl, stop it. Okay? It’s alright…please…”

“See, she’s the smart one of the two,” Negan dug it in further to Daryl as a laugh escaped his lips that sounded evil as hell. Getting the belt apart, you reached for the button in his pants and started to pull it open. Pulling the zipper down on his pants, you felt his hand reach out to snatch for your wrist to stop you and a snort fell from his lips. “What about the teasing me first? Fuck, you’re not very good at this. Where’s the fucking anticipation?”

You looked up at him with a glare and could feel wetness pressing in over the corners of your eyes from the embarrassment that he putting you through. He was forcing you into this with the threat of killing your friend.

Reaching up, you slowly began to palm over the front of Negan’s pants and you could hear a small rumble of a moan escaping his lips. Squeezing softly over his form, you could see him drop his head back and grunt. You gulped down heavily as you felt him hardening against your caress and you reached for the material of his pants, pulling it apart slowly. Going to reach for his boxers, you felt him grabbing you and pulling you up quickly again.

“You really thought you were going to get a show, didn’t you dick bag?” Negan snarled, pulling you up and over his shoulder as you let out an angered sound. Negan put his gun back in his pants before grabbing a tighter hold of you. Negan reached up to smack over your bottom roughly as Daryl fought to get out of Dwight’s grasp. “Nope!”

“Let her go,” Daryl ordered as you felt Negan carrying you toward the door before turning to face Daryl again. “Negan, please.”

“No,” Negan left the room and carried you toward your bedroom before kicking the door open. He kicked the door closed once he moved into the room before dropping you down on the bed. Letting out an angered sound, you sat up slowly to see him reaching to pull his pants back together. You let out a confused sound when you saw him walking over toward your fridge to pull it open. An irritated sound escaped his lips when he saw that there was only water in there and he reached for one. “I forgot we took your shit out of here.”

“What the hell Negan?” you snapped, catching the smile that pressed in over his lips when he dropped down on your couch and threw his legs up. He opened the water and took a long swig of it before sighing heavily. “That was fucking awful. He’s going to think you are in here raping me.”

“I know, it’s great isn’t it?” he laughed from where he was sitting and you reached for the pillow that you had on your bed, whipping it at his head. When it whacked him in the head, you heard him let out a confused sound. “It’s not like I actually made you really suck my dick in front of them or I’m actually raping you. It will just teach him to fucking listen to me…”

“No, it’s not going to. Do you ever think? It’s going to get him fucking mad,” you warned him, getting up from the bed to move over toward the couch. Standing in front of him, you could see his eyes look up at you with interest. “He’s going to think you raped me and he’s going to want to kill you.”

“Well then I will just have to wait in anticipation,” his tongue dragged out over his bottom lip and he shook his head slowly. “Anyways…we’ve already slept together. It’s not like you weren’t eager to get my dick back into your mouth…”

Reaching out across the small space between the two of you, you smacked him firmly and heard the sound echo the room as a growl escaped his lips. He looked up at you with his hooded eyes before bringing the bottle to his lips again.

“I probably deserved that one,” Negan nodded, giving you a firm nod before motioning you to sit down on the couch next to him. When you didn’t, he snapped his fingers and pointed at it. “Now!”

Rolling your eyes, you moved to sit down on the couch with him and watched him reach up to rub over the side of his face where you had smacked him. You didn’t look at him; you could just feel the anger that was filling your body for him.

“I wasn’t going to make you suck my dick in front of everyone, nor was I going to kill Daryl. I’m trying to make him one of us,” Negan sighed heavily, looking to you with one of his eyebrows perked up as he spoke. “I swear.”

“One of us?” you repeated his words and saw him nod. He tossed his hand up and shrugged.

“A Savior,” Negan responded before finishing off the water bottle that he had grabbed. He tossed it in the opposite side of the room before he slid across the couch closer to you. His arm hooked around the back of the couch as he moved in closer to you. His breathing was heavy in over your face as a smile cracked in over his lips. “You can really do that blowjob now if you want…”

A groan escaped his lips when you landed another firm smack against the side of his face, making his head turn with the hit.

“Or not…” he slurred as you got up from the couch and moved over toward the bed again. When you dropped down on top of the bed, he sighed heavily and got up from the couch. “You do realize that when you hit me, that turns me on twice as much, right?”

“I’m not fucking you or sucking your dick,” you snarled at him, seeing him pushing his hand throughout his hair. “You’re an asshole.”

“You say that like it’s an insult,” his laugh filled the air as you looked out at him with a glare. “Newsflash, I don’t give a shit and neither do you…”

There was a silence that filled the room as Negan sat on the edge of your bed, but you didn’t move. He braced himself on his hand and let out a long sigh.

“Don’t pretend you don’t miss me,” Negan muttered, moving in over you carefully and you pressed your hands in over the center of his chest to keep him distanced from you. “Y/N, come on. Don’t fucking lie to me. I know how you feel.”

“I’m fucking pissed at you,” you answered honestly, seeing his eyebrows perk up and you pressed your hands further into his chest. “I’m not kidding Negan…no.”

“Y/N, come on…” Negan slurred, managing to get you to lower your hands down enough before moving in to tease his lips over yours. “You have been doing stuff to make me jealous, I know that you are trying to get my attention.”

“What now?” you breathed, feeling his bottom lip dragging over yours and you pulled away slightly. “Negan, what the fuck do you mean?”

“I mean you have three men head over fucking heels in love with you here and I think that means you are clearly doing something…” Negan slurred as his tongue teased in over your bottom lip, but you reached up to press in over his jawline to keep him back. “What?”

“I’m not doing anything to make you jealous and what the fuck are you talking about?” you snapped after pressing your hands into his shoulders to keep him away from you. “All I’ve been doing is what you’ve asked me to.”

“Honey, please…” Negan snickered, moving in to kiss you again and you pressed your hand in over the center of his face. A groan escaped his lips before he moved back and let out a tight breath. “What the hell Y/N?”

“Who the hell is in love with me here?” you blurted out, eager to hear what he was talking about. “I mean, please, let me know. Tell me what I’m doing to make people fall in love with me.”

“Michael was crazy in love with you. He followed you around like a lost puppy,” Negan pointed out with an arch of his eyebrow and nodded slowly. “There has to have been something that you were fucking doing that made him think he had a chance.”

“Did you not watch me punch him the other day? He called me a slut, how the hell does that amount to him loving me?” you snarled and Negan shrugged his shoulders before you pushed further into his chest. “If he likes me, it had nothing to do with me. He’s just fucking creepy and that’s all. He doesn’t even know me.”

“Oh, I watched you fucking deck him. Turned me the fuck on…” Negan mumbled and you felt his mouth lower down over the side of your neck. His stubble tickled over your face and a heavy breath escaped your lips.

“I thought when I disobeyed you and had my little outbursts it embarrassed you,” you reminded him and saw him roll his eyes when you pushed him back again. “Who is the second person?”

“Daryl. Shit, the redneck is all over you,” Negan answered with a wrinkle of his nose. “Fuck, why do you think I did what I just did? He thinks that you need saving and he’s like your fucking attack dog. Wants to be yours…”

“That’s ridiculous,” you replied with a hiss when you felt Negan nipping over the side of your neck and you let out a soft moan when you felt him kissing over the spots that he had known worked with you. “He’s my friend and Daryl is just a good guy, he likes saving people. Those two there are good excuses for. The only person I care for of the three guys that are head over heels in love with me is you. I want no one else’s attention; the only person I’ve tried to get the attention of is you. You’re the only person that I’ve wanted. It’s only been you…”

“I’m not head over heels in love with you,” Negan chuckled against the side of your neck and you pressed your hands in over the center of his chest. His jaw clenched when he saw you looking up at him with your confused eyes. “Oh, you thought I was saying I was one of the fucking three that was in love with you here? Aw, that’s sweet.”

Feeling an intense ache in the center of your chest, you shoved firmly at the center of Negan’s chest and heard him let out an angered breath when you got out from beneath him. Moving toward the other end of the kitchen, you clutched the counter tightly and heard him laugh.

“Did I upset you?” Negan muttered as you looked over your shoulder to see him staring out at you with an amused expression. “Come on, we can just fuck and get this over with, right? I mean…you don’t have a problem with that, do you?”

“And then what? You continue to punish me and avoid me everywhere else? You use me when you are trying to pawn Daryl into attacking you. Your wives get pissed at you, so you decide to come fuck me instead? Am I only going to be the person you come to when you can’t fucking sleep at night?” you blurt out, seeing Negan’s eyebrows arching up when he stood from the bed. “Who is the third?”

“Simon,” Negan answered with a nod of his head and you let out a tense breath. Negan moved forward to corner you into the kitchen cabinets. He clutched at your hips while his mouth pressed long, wet lines over the side of your neck. “So there has to be something you are doing to make these men fall at your fucking feet. What better way to try and make me jealous?”

“I’m not trying to make anyone jealous! I didn’t even know Simon felt anything toward me. The only thing I’ve been doing is what you fucking asked of me. Working. That’s all,” you pushed your hand into the center of Negan’s chest and you could see him roll his eyes again. “Do you know that none of your wives love you?”

“Oh Jesus. If this is you starting up a rant about how you are the only person that loves me here, save me the bullshit…,” Negan groaned uneasily and when he went to kiss you again, you reached up and smacked him again making a groan escape his lips. His jaw clenched when you moved over toward your bed again to get away from him. “Go on. Please tell me how I should love you because you are the only person here that loves me. Tell me how I made a mistake in fucking dumping you because you are so much better than my wives.”

You went silent seeing Negan pull his belt from the loops of his pants again and you watched him drop his belt at his side. Giving him a sideways look you saw him nod toward the couch and you shook your head.

“Not this time Negan,” you shook your head, biting down on you bottom lip. You felt a lump in the base of your throat as you tried to swallow down your pride. When Negan mentioned three people being in love with you and then mocked you for believing he was one of them, you got hurt and bad. “I won’t do it…”

“You want me to forgive you, don’t you? You want to be mine again, right?” Negan bit into his bottom lip as he nodded toward the couch again. “Then lean over this damn couch, right now.”

“No,” you shook your head, your voice cracking as you spoke. “I’ve done nothing to deserve it. I didn’t make three men fall in love with me. I’ve done nothing wrong to get that again…”

“Don’t act like you don’t like this,” Negan stated with a half laugh, squeezing his fingertips around the leather tighter than before. “The last time we did this, your pussy was dripping because it turned you on so much. So don’t fucking act like you hate this…”

“I understood it then, now I don’t,” you whispered seeing the bridge of his nose wrinkle and you shook your head. “I’m not going to be punished for three men liking me while all I’m doing to attract them is just breathe.”

Negan stood firmly where he was and his jaw clenched. You let out a tight laugh before standing up from the bed again. Standing before him, you shook your head and bit down rough on your bottom lip.

“Even if I was fucking every single one of them, which is impossible, you have no say over it. You dumped me. You told me it was over, so if I wanted to fuck each and everyone one of them…I could,” you snapped feeling your voice cracking and you felt Negan grab a tight hold of your jaw when you went to walk away. “You fuck girls constantly and throw your wives in my face the first chance you get to torture me.”

“That’s where you are wrong; see…I still own you. You belong to me,” Negan corrected you with a snarl and you reached up to grab a tight hold of his wrist. “And with who I fuck, I don’t see where the problem comes in. I’m in charge, I do what I want. You on the other hand...you need to stop letting these men think that there is something more between them with you…”

“I’m not doing anything to make them feel that way,” you snapped, pushing him away from you with a shake of your head. “The only person I’ve ever felt anything for…”

“Is me,” Negan sighed heavily, tilting his head to the side before speaking up again. “How do you think all three of those men would feel letting them know that I was your first. That instead of having a sweet, romantic sexual experience, you let me tie you up and have whatever I wanted with you?”

You gave him a disgusted look before going to turn away from him. The force of him pushing you down over the side of the couch was felt as you let out an angered breath.

“See, I have had you in a way that no one else ever can. You belong to me,” Negan slurred, reaching between the two of you to palm over your mound through the material of your jeans making a heavy breath escape your lips. “Do you really want to make things better with me?”

You whimpered feeling him pushing his hips up against your from behind and an uncomfortable sound escaped your lips.

“You can do one of two things…” Negan muttered against the side of your neck, his breath hot against your skin. “I need you to prove to me that you are loyal to me. That you only belong to me…”

“I’ve never done anything to not prove that,” you hissed feeling his body firmly pressed up against yours, keeping you where you were.

“I don’t think you are loyal to me though. You disobey me at every chance. You mock me in front of my people. You question my authority at every turn,” Negan responded with a growl, before reaching up with his free hand to tug at your hair softly. “If you want to prove to me how much you want me back…I will forgive you and take you back if you do one of two things…”

“What?” you muttered with a heavy breath, feeling him clinging to you tightly.

“One, you stay where you are and you take the whipping for all the times you broke the rules since the last time,” Negan’s belt jingled and your eyes closed tightly when you felt him rubbing against you from behind. “The second is to let me have all of you for the first time…”

“What do you mean by that?” you felt him squeezing over your bottom and you pulled up and away from him uneasily when you realized what he was saying. Shaking your head, you saw him shrug and toss his hands up. “This is bullshit Negan; I did nothing for you to leave me in the first place.”

“Do you love me?” Negan questioned again and you nodded before biting into your bottom lip. “Alright, so if you want things to go back to the way they were before…pick one.”

Gulping down, you could feel your body trembling as you thought about the choices that he had given you. Looking down, you could see Negan standing before expectantly waiting for you to make a choice.

“How many with the belt?” you gulped down seeing Negan smirk and look down to start counting with his fingers. You let out an uncomfortable noise when he reached ten and you shook your head. “I didn’t do that much wrong…”

“You flicked me off twice in front of my people and also told me off. You hit two of my men, you have the three men that for some reason think they have a chance with you, you were in my wives’ room today and what you did with Daryl,” Negan answered with a shrug of his shoulders and you could see that he was being serious with the numbers. “You just smacked me three times. I think ten is actually a fair amount…”

“I’m not getting belted for three men thinking something that is completely one sided,” you saw him shrug and you thought about his offer. The smug look over his face made you let out a tight breath. Was Negan really worth it at this point?

“The other option might hurt less…you never know,” Negan suggested, perking his eyebrow up and you shook your head. Anal was out of the question. “Well then the choice is yours. Do you want things back to the way they were or not?”

You stood there and watched Negan for a minute before he let out a laugh and moved for your door.

“Fuck it,” Negan muttered opening the door again and you called out to him. Moving to the couch, you saw his smile press in over his lips when moved in closer to you. You lowered your body over the couch and could hear a growl escape Negan’s lips. “Which is it?”

“The belt…” you answered, knowing that the last time it hadn’t hurt as much as you thought it would. You knew that you still had the marks from the previous time, but you were willing to accept it. Things were much easier before all of this happened. When you had first gotten with Negan, things were so much easier and if doing this would make things better, then that’s what you were going to do. “Just please…do it fast.”

“Lower your pants and go to the bed,” Negan ordered with a firm tone as you got up, reached for you pants and lowered the back of them for Negan. Leaning over the side of your bed, you closed your eyes tightly and clutched onto the bed sheets. The warmth of his palm clutching over your bottom was felt and you could feel him tracing over the previous marks from the belt. “Mmmm…I missed your pretty little ass.”

You could feel Negan’s rough hands caressing over your sensitive flesh and let out a nervous breath. There was no spanking, just the soft gentle caress of his rough fingertips over your skin before a snort escaped his lips and you felt the warmth of his body moving away from you.

 “I’m not gonna hit you with the belt,” Negan laughed from behind you and you looked over your shoulder to see him rolling his eyes before starting to pull his belt back through his pants. “You don’t want it anyway…”

“What?” you snapped, pulling your pants back over your body and saw Negan moving for the door. He put you through the torture of having to choose one or the other, but decided not to do it when you made the choice. “You told me to pick one of them. You said…”

“Well, I lied,” Negan muttered with a sigh and he pulled the belt back together tightly around his body. “Goodnight Y/N.”

“What about us?” you muttered seeing him shrug and go to open the door again. “This is fucked up Negan, would you have been walking out of here if I picked the other option?

“I guess you’ll never know,” Negan pulled open the door and you let out a heavy breath.

“You know what? I do think Michael is quite attractive,” you saw him clench from where he was standing. He gripped the door handle tightly as you sat down on the edge of your bed. “You know, I never thought about him in that way before, but since you pointed out that you think there could be something there…”

Negan closed the door and looked back over his shoulder at you with an angered expression.

“Then again, Simon is really fucking nice to me…” you muttered, watching him slowly walk back to the bed and stare down at you with his jaw clenching as you continued. “Simon seems kind of wild. I’m sure that means he is wild in bed…”

“Do you want me to fuck you raw? Is that what you are aiming at?” Negan muttered with a growl as he reached out to grab a tight hold of your jaw. You let out a wince and he smirked. “You would let me whip you on the ass ten times to get me to fuck you on a regular basis again? Do you know how fucking awful that sounds?”

Negan kneeled before you and you could feel him reaching out to press your hair back over your ear. A sigh escaped his lips as he shook his head before moving forward to kiss you roughly, making you let out a shocked noise when he did it.

“Enjoy that,” Negan pulled away and licked his lips before heading back for the door again. “It’s the last one you are going to be getting for quite some time. I’m not going to let you anger me into getting what you want again.”

Negan pulled the door open and turned to you with a smile, “Either way, you know if you did touch any of them…Simon, Daryl or Michael—I wouldn’t think twice about killing any of them. Then you’d have to live with their death on your hands because it would be your fault. That goes for any man that you even think of letting you touch you other than me.”

“So I have to be stuck alone because you are punishing me for some stupid ass reason that you really haven’t even let me know?” you questioned with venom in your tone and you saw him smile. “You really are a bastard.”

“Mhmm,” Negan nodded with a heavy sigh before shrugging his shoulders. “But at least I’m not a desperate bastard.”

Negan left you with that before walking out of your room. Once again Negan left you feeling even worse than you did the time before you saw him last. This all had to end. You were getting sick of Negan; you were sick of The Sanctuary and everyone here. You were done. Absolutely done. Things were going to change and they were going to change as soon as you got the chance.

Getting up from the bed, you moved over toward the corner of the room to grab your bag and you heard the sound of a knock at your door. Looking over your shoulder, you moved to the door and pulled it open to see Negan staring out at you with a frown.

“Listen…” Negan sighed heavily, his eyebrow arching up as he watched you. He seemed to be at a loss for words. “That was mean…”

“No shit that was mean,” you snarled at him and he reached up to caress at the back of his head with a frown. It had only been a few minutes since he had left, but he suddenly had the urge to come back and say that he was being mean? “What do you want Negan?”

“To apologize, I let my attitude get the best of me sometimes,” Negan answered as you folded your arms out in front of your chest. It was hard to determine if he was fucking with you again or actually being serious. Negan didn’t apologize, at least as far as you could tell. “Go for a walk with me? We need to talk…like, really talk. Not fucking fight like this. We need to…I just…I promise I won’t do what I just did. That was wrong of me and we just need to talk.”

“I can’t promise you that I won’t hit you,” you snapped and you could see him hold his hands up and shrug. “I’m serious. I’m very angry with you.”

“I probably deserve it to be fucking honest with you,” Negan added with a heavy sigh and you looked back at your room before following him out. “Thanks.”

“We’ll see if you’re thanking me after this walk,” you huffed and could see a smirk press in over his lips before shrugging. You didn’t know what Negan was doing, but if anything, you were prepared for the worst.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The OC (reader) goes on a walk with Negan and he answers some questions that she has for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had this up earlier, but then spotted some massive grammar errors on my phone and then decided to take it down and re-post it! Sorry about that. For those that are still reading, thanks for that! Sorry for all the torture I put you guys through. I'm an asshole. I know :(

“So is this where you are going to feed me to the zombies over there?” you followed Negan outside and saw him look over his shoulder to glare back at you. By the reaction, you could tell that he didn’t find your comment funny, but you were actually being serious. You shrugged and continued to follow him outside into the darkness that was still slightly brightened by the lights around The Sanctuary. Negan walked over toward one of the corners of the building before dropping back on the ground and motioning you to follow his footsteps. “I’m serious, should I be worried?”

“What am I going to do to you out here?” Negan blurted out with a heavy sigh as you carefully got down on the ground beside him. He seemed absolutely frustrated and annoyed with your question before laughing. “Fuck girl.”

“Don’t fuck girl me, you have been a total asshole the last few days and I’m not exactly sure what you are planning on doing with me these days,” you answered truthfully, pulling your legs up to your chest as you heard his groan fill the air. “I’m serious Negan, first you like me, then you hate me. It’s a toss up these days.”

“I’m an asshole,” Negan reminded you and you gave him a look, your eyebrow arching up when he spoke. “I get that it’s not exactly the best of things in the world, but I wouldn’t hurt you or kill you. I’ve told you that…I made a fucking promise.”

“You have hurt me though,” you muttered under your breath and you could see his eyebrows tense together. He sighed heavily and lowered his head. “You mean physically though, right?”

“I guess so, yeah…” Negan was quiet and you could tell that your comment about him hurting you actually bothered him. He gulped down heavily and you could feel that you were starting to get a little uncomfortable.

You kept quiet and could see Negan looking up at the stars as there was a silence that lasted for quite some time between the two of you. Negan let out an over dramatic sigh and fell back against the ground, lying out to stare up at the sky.

“What is this?” you looked down at him as he turned his head to look at you for a moment. He pat the ground next to him and you laid down in the grass with him cautiously. The sound of the walkers just beyond the gates of The Sanctuary made you nervous, but you still did as he asked. “Negan?”

“For an hour, you ask me whatever you want and I’ll be one hundred percent fucking honest with you,” Negan muttered before looking up toward the sky again. He folded his hands over his stomach and you let out a laugh that clearly sounded like you didn’t believe him. “I fucking swear.”

“Bullshit,” you snorted, looking out at him from where you were lying beside him. He shrugged and still continued to look up at the sky. “Why would you do that?”

“I feel bad for being a dick,” Negan answered with a heavy sigh. “So, I figure I owe you a few explanations. So ask what you want and I’ll answer.”

“Okay…” you thought about it for a moment before thinking about the conversation you had with Michael at lunch the other day. Negan hadn’t heard the conversation, only saw you hit Michael, so you used that to your advantage. You knew the answer to what you were about to ask him and that way you could test his ‘honesty’ hour. “Why does Michael hate you?”

“That’s the first question you ask me?” Negan’s nose wrinkled as a laugh fell from his lips. He turned on his side to stare out at you after curling his arm underneath his head. “I killed his father. At the time, I didn’t know it was his fucking daddy, but I had to make a point…”

“Okay,” you breathed out heavily when you realized that he gave you the real answer. You had asked him that question before and he avoided the conversation at the time, but this time he didn’t. Taking a leap of faith with the questions, you felt your heart skip a beat in your chest before speaking up again. “Do you hate me?”

“No, I don’t hate you,” a snort fell from his lips as he looked to the door that opened when someone stepped outside to survey the area. When they saw the two of you outside together, they stepped back into the building. “I’m just a dick.”

“Why did you dump me?” you whispered, seeing his eyebrows tensing and he bit into his bottom lip before shrugging. “You said an hour of honesty. You have to tell me.”

“I can’t tell you,” Negan answered with a heavy sigh. You went to rebuttal his answer and he rose his hand up to stop you. “No, I’m serious, I can’t tell you. That’s one hundred percent the truth. I just can’t. There are things that make this uncomfortable, but I think by not fucking telling you…it makes sense to me.”

“I think it’s because Dwight embarrassed you and made you believe that falling in love with me would cause you to look weak to your people,” you replied with a shake of your head and Negan sighed heavily. He shifted uneasily as you sat up from the laying position that you were in to look out at him.

“That might have led up to it, but the day I broke things with the two of us. I went to my desk and I was with Simon. There was this…just…someone did something,” Negan bit into his lip and he shook his head slowly. He couldn’t be anymore vague with his answer. “I can’t fucking tell you.”

“You can’t open it up with someone did something and then just end it that way. I’m picturing you and Simon at your desk and that’s where it ends,” you frustratingly responded and he threw his hands up in the air. “Fine! Do you love me?”

“I…don’t know,” Negan answered with a heavy sigh, rising up on his elbows to stare out at you with his hazel eyes. “I care for you greatly. I think you are very special. I just don’t know if I love you. I don’t understand love. I haven’t loved in a very long time. Maybe I do feel that way for you. I don’t know.”

“I’m special, but you dumped me and won’t tell me why? And you are punishing me?” you heard Negan groan at your response and you shook your head slowly. His answers really didn’t add up and make sense to you. “That makes no sense Negan.”

“Never said I make sense,” Negan rumbled, dropping back into the grass again. “Can I ask you some questions and have you be honest with me?”

“Why not?” you snorted with a hesitant breath and you dropped back on the grass beside him. A smirk pressed in over your lips when you thought about giving him the same lines he gave you. “I’ll give you an hour of honesty.”

“Would you really want to be one of my wives?” Negan looked to you, his eyebrow arching up with interest as he stared out at you. You were silent. Not really wanting to tell the truth, but when he expected an answer, you shook your head and decided to be honest with him in saying no. “Then why the hell would you even suggest it?”

“I didn’t want to lose you, you are the only good thing I’ve had in my life since I’ve lost everything,” you answered truthfully and you sighed. “When I lost everything, I didn’t think I’d feel again. So if putting on a skanky black dress and some high heels made you want to be around me again—it was worth it.”

“So you really love me, huh?” Negan’s deep tone filled the air and you could feel an ache in your chest at the question.

“I thought I did. After you started hurting me, I’m not so sure anymore,” you informed him and could hear the heavy sigh that escaped his lips when you continued. “I did when I said it the first time though.”

“You’re the first person I’ve heard say it and actually sound like you fucking meant it in a long time. The last time I heard it was before hell broke out and these flesh eaters started ruling,” Negan took in a long breath and shuddered when he clearly thought about a past memory. “It scared me.”

“It scared you to have someone love you?” you let out a disgusted noise and looked up at the sky. This whole thing felt odd being out here with Negan doing fifty questions, but you were running with it and letting this whole thing happen. “Why does that scare you?”

“Because I’m me. I’m a fucking bastard…it’s no excuse, but I fucking am,” Negan sighed heavily and you watched him wrapping his arms behind his head to brace them under his neck while he looked up at the sky. “I ruin everything and everyone that has ever cared for me, gets hurt…and most often dies. If someone hates me, if I make them hate me…they usually last a bit longer.”

“Wow,” you slowly rose up from your laying position again to look back at him. “That is a seriously fucked up theory.”

“You’re a pain in the ass, you know that?” Negan snorted, his gaze meeting yours when you shook your head at his response. “Everyone or everything I have ever cared for has gone to shit. It’s from personal experiences in my fucking life…”

“So you’re telling me that you are going to be an asshole to me and you have been an asshole to me, to keep me safe?” you watched him think about the question for a minute before nodding and you reached out to smack him heavily in the stomach. The groan that followed made a laugh fall from his lips and he sat up immediately after. “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“It makes sense to me,” Negan grunted as he rubbed over the area you just hit. “I’m not a normal fucking guy. I do things that upset people; I’m just…not a good person.”

“I knew that, I still know that and yet I’m still stupid enough to care about you. I just thought there was a part of you that was a good person,” you sighed heavily and could feel him sitting in closer to you. The warmth of his body pressed in next to yours amongst the cool night air that surrounded you. The sound of his jacket unzipping was heard and you felt him wrapping it around your shoulders before hooking his arm loosely around you. “Are you going to keep hurting me?”

“I don’t know,” Negan answered with a sigh and you could feel him pulling you closer to him as the two of you sat together. “I’m a leader of a group of people. I have to make a point, I have to be in charge and make decisions that are hard. I’m going to hurt you at some point because I’m going to do things you aren’t going to like.”

“I get that. That part of the job I get. What I mean is, are you going to be calling me into your room while you’re fucking your wives to torture me? Harassing me for loving you?” you could feel a lump forming in your throat and Negan sighed heavily.

“No, not anymore,” Negan muttered and you turned to look at him with doubt in your eyes. “I promise you. I’m not going to do that. I can’t promise I won’t say asshole things. I can’t promise that I’m not going to say something stupid and have you want to smack the shit out of me…three times. For some reason you really like to slap in fucking threes….”

“So you are still going to keep all of your wives?” you muttered and he nodded slowly, his eyebrow arching up when you questioned him on that. “You do know they don’t love you, right?”

“Your version of love and mine are a bit different,” Negan began and paused for a moment when he started thinking of an answer. “I get what you are saying though.”

“You’re not going to threaten to punish me with belting me every time someone pisses you off, right?” you saw the smirk that pressed in over his lips and you reached out to shove him in the chest. A laugh fell from his lips and you shook your head. “It’s not funny.”

“You fucking liked it. How are you going to sit there and tell me that you didn’t like that shit?” a rumble of laughter fell from his lips and you shoved him again. “I promise I won’t threaten to use the belt on you for mean things, but if things are getting kinky and you are game for it, I don’t really have a problem with the whole belt thing. You really liked it at the time…”

“It still hurts…” you pointed out and could see the frown that pressed in over the corners of his lips and you sighed. “But I did kind of like it…”

“See,” Negan chuckled, throwing his free hand up and he squeezed his other arm around you tightly. “If it makes you feel better…I’ll let you belt me if you’d like. I’ve got no fucking problems with that…”

“I doubt that,” you looked to him with a sideways glance and he shrugged his shoulders, a silly expression pressing in over his lips. “You like being in charge and dominant, there is no fucking way.”

“The idea of you tying me up and doing whatever the fuck you want with me doesn’t bother me anymore,” Negan slurred, his tongue sliding in over his bottom lip before a smile pressed in over the corners of his lips. “Remember, I’m still using my hour of honesty here.”

“Right…” you sighed heavily and thought about everything else that was on your mind. You leaned into his chest and could feel his jaw resting over the top of your head while he held onto you. “When you told me that the only reason you cared about me was the whole virgin thing…”

“Was me being an asshole just to be a fucking asshole. Did I mention I’m a fucking asshole?” Negan replied, a small laugh falling from your lips as you heard the rumble of laughter that fell deeply from his.

“You may have mentioned it once or twice?” you teased, listening to the sound of his heart as you pressed further into his chest. You knew that you shouldn’t have been enjoying the warmth of his body close to yours, but you were. “Do you really think that I have a thing for those three men? I mean seriously?”

“No, I don’t. I do think they have a thing for you though and it pisses me the fuck off,” Negan answered with a heavy sigh and you pressed your hand over the center of his chest to look up at him with a confused expression. “What?”

“Why are you doing this? Being nice, taking me out here and saying all of this?” you frowned, moving away from him slightly and could still feel his arm loosely hanging onto you. “I mean, I’m just supposed to believe all you are saying?”

“I’ve got no reason to fucking lie to you,” Negan answered with a frown, reaching out to caress softly over your jawline, tracing his rough fingertips over your sensitive flesh. “Plus, I kind of…it really fucking hurts when I see you upset. Like, at first I think it’s going to make me feel good, but then it hits me like a motherfucker when a few minutes pass. Usually, when I’m an asshole, it kind of fuels me, but with you…not so much. I feel like a real dick…”

“That’s because you are,” you smirked feeling him softly nudged your jaw with his fingers before smiling himself. “I don’t know…I just know being with you is hard. Caring for you is fucking hard.”

“I know and I don’t blame you if you don’t want to be around me,” he answered with a firm nod of his head before shrugging. “I fucking get it, but I’m going to be honest and tell you…I’m fucking obsessed with you and I think you are obsessed with me too. Neither one of us is going to be able to be away from the other for long.”

“You call it obsessed, I’m thinking of another word that I know you hate,” you answered with an uncomfortable breath and felt his fingertips pressing into your hair. “Am I still going to be having the rules on me?”

“What do you want your rules to be?” Negan bit into his bottom lip, watching you closely as you shrugged. “You clearly don’t like certain things, so let me hear it.”

“I don’t mind working with Simon as long as you don’t point fingers saying that I’m having a thing going on with him because I promise you I’m not,” you let out a hesitant sound and Negan nodded slowly. “I just think the whole you can’t speak to me, you have to bow for me thing is a bit ridiculous. Also threatening me with the cell is getting a little old.”

“You can talk to me, you don’t have to bow, but if everyone around you is…I’d appreciate you doing it,” Negan answered with a half laugh and you shook your head. “I may have to keep you on the point system for a while because if I don’t my Saviors are going to…”

“That’s fine, but are you going to still be treating me like shit in front of them? Are we going to have to hide us in front of everyone?” you saw Negan staring out at you for a moment before letting out a nervous sound. “We do, huh?”

“I’m not going to be an asshole to you in public, no, but I can’t let people see we are together again. It kind of has to be…between us. Okay?” Negan suggested with a frown and you pulled back to look him over. “I wish I could tell you why, I should be telling you why, but I can’t…”

“That is so stupid. You can’t tell me there is a reason why you have to hide that you care about me. I get it. I get that Dwight is a dick, I get that you think people are going to think you are weak,” you went on a rant only to feel his lips pressing roughly over yours to get you to silence your words and you reached up to press your hand in over his short beard. Kissing him back for a moment, you laughed and pulled away from him. “Nice try…”

“Listen okay…” Negan huffed, leaning forward to rest his forehead against yours and you could feel his hands reaching up to cup your face softly in his rough hands. “I need to keep you hidden. Okay? There are reasons that I can’t be the way I am with you in front of other people. If people continue to see…if people saw what you mean to me…there are just things that are going to happen that aren’t good. For fucks sake, this is the problem with us. I turn into a mumbling, blabbering fool. I promise I’m not going to be a ridiculous asshole in front of the others, but I can’t be as open about how I feel about you.”

“One final question,” you sighed heavily and could see him looking at you with a saddened expression. “You told me that you liked me and trusted me because I reminded you of someone…who?”

“I don’t talk to people about the sappy shit Y/N. I made that mistake once and…” Negan began and you gave him a frown when he began to ramble on. “My wife…”

“Which one?” you laughed, your nose wrinkling when you thought about his wives that he had. “I’m not sure I’m like any of them.”

“My wife before the shit hit the fan,” Negan grumbled and you suddenly got very serious when you saw his jaw clenching as he spoke. You never knew that he had a wife before all of this and you could see him leaning back on his hands on the grass again to brace his body up. “Not looks wise or what not, but she was the only woman in the world that could glare at me and I knew I was up shits creek. She didn’t take my shit and she had the same fucking attitude you did. It was part of what made me fall in love with her in the first place and I was an asshole to her too. I’ve been nothing, but a fuck up my entire life and I’ve always hurt the people that I’ve cared the most for.”

“What happened to her?” you could feel a chill running up your spine as you watched the man before you talking about his past, something he rarely did. It wasn’t just the cocky Negan before you, it was something more.

“I don’t think I can handle more of this sappy shit tonight Y/N,” Negan’s voice cracked and he looked up at you with a saddened expression. He bit into his bottom lip and shook his head slowly. “One step at a time, but just know that I’ll stop doing what I’m doing. I might have to hide things…I might have to pretend I’m being an asshole in public still, but it’s because I can’t let people see that I deeply care for you. Alright?”

“Alright,” you sighed with a small nod of your head. He dropped back on the grass with a dramatic motion and you laughed. You reached out to pat him on the stomach a few times before shrugging. “I wish things were easier to understand.”

“I wish a lot of fucking things,” you gasped when you heard Negan growl from behind you and reach for your arm to tug you down on top of him. A laugh fell from your lips when you carefully moved in over him and reached up to caress over the side of his rough features. “Being in love with you is hard…”

“I know,” he whispered, tracing over your lips with his rough fingertips before you slowly began to press small kisses over his fingertips. Negan’s eyebrows clenched together when he leaned up to meet your lips in a slow, soft kiss. It was different for Negan, but you could feel the sensation of his lips teasing over yours in a very delicate manner. “I’m sorry. Very…fucking sorry.”

“Not sure I forgive you,” you whispered against his lips, caressing over his firm jawline before sighing heavily. Pushing your fingertips into his dark hair, you smirked and shook your head slowly. “But I’ll try to understand.”

“Okay…” he nodded, gulping down heavily and you reached out to hook your fingers with his and let out a heavy sigh as you looked him over. Tracing your fingertips over the center of his chest, you could see him looking up at the stars again and you smiled. “I should have never been an asshole.”

“We all learn, right?” you responded leaning down to tease your lips in over his jawline as you carefully moved in beside him on the grass. You felt his arm wrapping around when you moved in closer to him and you sighed. “Negan, please just tell me what caused all of this?”

“I don’t think right. What I assume to be right, what I think will make things fucking right, it’s not always the best way to do things. I told myself that if I was an asshole to you, then I could keep myself away from you, but I’m selfish. So instead of hurting you and pushing you away, I kept shoving everything in your face,” Negan made a disgusted sound and shook his head. “I’m a bad person. When someone pisses me off, when I try to punish people…I go after…”

Negan made another uncomfortable sound before pulling out from under you and standing. He shrugged his shoulders and tossed his hands up.

“Did you ever watch those shows where like a cop busts a fucking crime boss and instead of going after the…” Negan began again and shook his head. “When you start openly showing people that you care about things, that something makes you happy, people take advantage of that.”

“And what the hell does that have to do with us?” you tried to make sense of what he was saying, but you just found yourself more confused. “Negan?”

“Just, I wish I could be the good guy that you deserve. I wish I could give you the things that you fucking need, but that’s not the world we live in anymore,” Negan huffed and you gradually stood up from the ground to face him. “The other day something scared me and I reacted badly. I’m an asshole, I don’t expect you to forgive me, I wouldn’t forgive me either. It’s better if you do fucking hate me.”

“Okay…?” you still found yourself at a loss and you could hear him let out another frustrated sound. “Could you just flat out tell me what happened to lead you to being an asshole. I get you are an asshole. I get you’ve done bad things. I know you’ve done awful shit and you’ve done things that have led up to you hurting me in ways that I can’t forgive you for, but what I need to know is…what led to it. What happened? Something changed between Alexandria and later that night. What?”

Negan shook his head and stared down at you with his dark gaze.

“Am I going to have to ask Simon?” you slurred and Negan gave you a displeased look.

“Simon wouldn’t tell you because Simon wants to keep you safe too,” Negan muttered with a small sigh, reaching out to grab your hands to squeeze them softly. “Just please…please just believe me when I tell you it’s better that you don’t know. I’m just trying to keep things safe, okay? And the only way I can keep things safe is if no one knows about us.”

 

* * *

  
  
“Rise and shine princess,” you heard the sound of a pounding on your door and heard Simon’s voice on the other side. Looking next to you in bed, you could see Negan sleeping beside you with his arm curled underneath his head, holding the pillow close to his face. “Hey, we gotta get moving girlie.”

“I need a…few,” you called out from the bed and could see Negan’s eyes clenching and you pulled the sheets closer to your body. Clearing your throat uneasily, you looked to see that you and Negan were still in your clothes from the night before. After talking outside for a while, Negan came back to your room to talk to you about somethings and you both must have ended up falling asleep. Looking him over, you carefully tried to move out of the bed before feeling Negan’s arm grasping around your waist to pull you back to him. “I need to work Negan.”

“No, you don’t…” Negan breathed against your skin as he tried to cuddle his head at the base of your neck. “I’m the boss; I say you can take a sick day.”

“Yeah, but then people are going to wonder why Negan is giving me a break when he just gave me a hard fucking time,” you saw Negan’s tired eyes open and he let out a disgusted sound. “You’re the one that said you wanted it to be hidden that we were close. If you’d fucking tell me what happened, then I could approach things differently, but until then…”

“Fine…” Negan loosened his grip around you and turned onto his back on your bed. He reached up to rub at his tired eyes before letting out a hearty yawn. “I need to fucking sleep more. This is ridiculous.”

“Didn’t sleep with your wife the other day, huh?” you moved to your bag that had your clothes in it. Pulling out a different shirt, you saw Negan shake his head before lowering his head back into your pillows. “Didn’t trust her?”

“I don’t trust anyone,” Negan answered with another yawn as he brought your pillow in over his face. His voice came out muffled and you laughed when you could barely understand him. “I almost thought you’d want to suffocate me in the middle of the night.”

“I still might if you give me the chance with that pillow,” you changed your clothes and moved over toward the bed to pull it from Negan’s face. A small smile pressed in over his lips as he shrugged his shoulders when you spoke. “Is this going to end? You being nice to me?”

“Go out and do your work, I’ll get mine done,” Negan began with a heavy sigh and he shook his head slowly. “Tonight I’ll come back here and we can have dinner. I’ll sneak you some food and we can just talk. Okay?”

“You shouldn’t make promises you can’t keep Negan,” you pointed out with a frown and Negan shook his head. Negan motioned you to wait a minute as he slowly got up from the bed and let out a groan when he stretched. His body snapped a bit when he moved before he reached for your hand. He grabbed his jacket from the bottom of your bed before urging you toward your door. “What?”

“There is something I have to do first,” Negan carefully pulled open your door to have you follow him out of the room when he saw that the coast was clear. You followed him, unknowing of what he was doing until he led you toward the cells. When you started to skid your feet a bit, he shook his head. “I’m not throwing you in one of these.”

“Then what are you doing?” you answered with a hiss, pulling your hand from his grasp and you saw him moving toward Daryl’s cell. He grabbed a hold of it an unlocked it before pointing toward it. “What are you doing?”

“Taking your fucking advice for once,” Negan stepped away from the cell and saw you looking him over confused. “Go talk to your friend…”

“Are you kidding?” you let out a hesitant laugh, thinking that he was joking and Negan’s thick eyebrows arched up and he shook his head. “You can’t be serious.”

“Take the offer while you’ve got it girl,” Negan pointed at the cell and he could see you were moving toward it slowly. “I’ll be out here, take a few minutes and afterwards…you can get to work.”

“Okay,” you nodded, watching Negan take a seat on one of the containers outside of the cells before you pulled open the door. Stepping inside, you could see Daryl sitting in the corner of the room, his legs pulled close to his chest. A desperate sound escaped his lips when you closed the door behind you and stepped into the dark cell. Daryl quickly got to his feet and you felt his arms wrapping around you in a tight hug. His hands were eager to cup your face to look you over and make sure that you were alright. “I’m okay, everything is fine.”

“What did he do to you? Are you hurt?” Daryl looked over your body to the best of his ability and you shook your head slowly. You grabbed a tight hold of his hands and lowered them. You squeezed at the rough, dirty skin and shook your head. “Did he…?”

“No. No he didn’t,” you answered truthfully and you could see the doubt in Daryl’s eyes. “It was a scare tactic Daryl. He wanted to upset you and worry me, but at the end of the day, he didn’t follow through with it. He just wants to scare us.”

“Please don’t lie to me,” Daryl begged and you squeezed your fingertips around his tightly. “Did he hurt you?”

“I promise you, he didn’t. He’s just an asshole,” you snickered, reaching out to brush his dirty hair away from his face and you could see that he looked absolutely miserable. Looking over your shoulder, you could see that there were no shadows under the door and you knew that meant that Negan wasn’t listening. “He talks a big game and does some awful things, but he’s not a rapist.”

“How do you know that?” Daryl slurred and you shrugged your shoulders. “He’s a monster.”

“I just know, he’s not a rapist. He’s just out to make you mad. He wants you to be him. He wants you to be part of the team,” you insisted and could see Daryl shake his head over and over again. “I know Daryl and I get it. I promise you…we’re going to get you out of here.”

“What about you?” Daryl muttered under his breath, his blue eyes watching you closely as you stepped back toward the door knowing that Negan said you only had a few minutes. “I don’t want you back out there with him.”

“Believe it or not Daryl, I’m okay,” you hushed him with a small sigh before nodding back toward the door. “I’m working for points and I’m going to be okay. I’ll find a way to get you out of here, okay? I promise.”

“Please just…” Daryl let out a tight breath as he moved back toward the corner of his cell and shrugged. He slowly lowered back to the ground and shrugged his shoulders. “Be careful, okay? I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. I don’t know how you got in here or how things are working for you out there, but please…just be safe.”

“Okay,” you agreed and stepped back out of the cell before closing it. Negan got up from where he was sitting and moved over to lock it back up. You stepped back and gave him a long once over before shaking your head. “Thank you.”

“Sure,” Negan nodded with a heavy breath, clutching the door handle in his hands. “Just don’t go around telling people I did this. Alright?”

“That was very nice of you. Very unlike you,” you muttered, reaching up to tap the side of his face softly and you could see something different in his eyes as he stared out at you. ‘Thank you again.”

Nodding, you stepped back away from Negan and toward the hallway where you knew that Simon and the group would be waiting for you. You knew that Negan was far from making you trust in him again, but what he did today was more than you ever expected from him.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The OC (reader) & Negan continue to spend time together and it leads to an intimate moment before hard decisions have to be made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I highly suspect that there will be some grammar errors in this, big time. I wrote it when I was tired and read over it when I was even more tired. So I'm sorry for that!

Hearing the soft knocking sounds on your door, you let out a small groan and raised your head from your pillow. Looking toward the window, you could see that it was dark outside and found yourself wanting to drop back down to sleep. You were exhausted and not exactly ready for company. Watching the door open, you saw Negan looking into the room and you let out a heavy sigh.

“Ready for dinner?” a bright smile pressed in over the corners of Negan’s lips and you let out a small sigh. Rubbing at your eyes, you slowly rose up in the bed and pressed your back against the headboard.

“I don’t know, I’m kind of tired,” you responded with another yawn, watching Negan quietly closing the door behind him as he snuck into your room. He was only wearing a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt. He was barefoot and carrying a bag of something. When he moved in closer, you could feel your stomach letting out a growl when you caught the scent of whatever was in the bag. “What do you have there?”

“I thought you might be interested and not want to miss out,” Negan smirked, sitting on the edge of the bed to pull out a couple of food containers. He handed it out to you and you popped it open to see that there was lasagna inside. “The last time they went on a run, they found a bunch of freezer foods that someone had stored away…”

“Another group that had power?” you muttered, arching your eyebrow up to look him over and he let out a huff when you shrugged your shoulders. “It’s not rotten?”

“Trust me, I was fucking cautious too, but your face is not going to melt off,” Negan motioned you to follow him toward the couch and he set the bag down on top of the coffee table in front of it. “Plus, after we eat this, I’ve got a special dessert that I think you are going to go wild for.”

“Did you sneak in here?” you moved to the couch and felt Negan handing you over a plastic fork. He let out a tense noise and you shook your head slowly. “Still staying pretty steady on that whole keeping this a secret thing, huh?”

“You’ll understand eventually,” Negan muttered as he leaned back on the couch when he popped open the container he had for himself to start to eat what was inside with you. You let a pleased sound when you took the first bite of the food and heard him laugh when you groaned. “It’s fucking good, right? You should be around when I make my homemade spaghetti. It’s fucking awesome.”

“There is something about prepackaged food that I absolutely miss,” you sighed and noticed that he was watching you with a smile as you ate the food. “Probably helps that I haven’t eaten much in the last few days.”

“I’m sorry for that,” Negan cleared his throat uneasily and polished off the rest of his food before putting the container back into the bag that he had brought into your room. There was a moment of silence as you continued to eat what he had brought you and you felt uncomfortable while he stared at you. “So how did your talk go with Daryl this morning?”

“It was fine. I told him that you didn’t rape me and it was just your way of scaring us,” you informed him with a small nod and he bit into his lip before reaching up to caress over the back of his neck in a tense fashion. “I don’t think acting like you’ve been is going to be the way to go. Daryl is not going to join you after what you did with Glenn and Abraham. I’m not sure I completely convinced him that you didn’t rape me…”

“I don’t rape. I don’t believe in it. I’ve killed people for doing it, I’m just…I don’t know,” Negan sighed, dragging his hand over the side of his face and it was clear that he was upset by the tension over his face. “I did as much as I did in front of Daryl because…”

“Oh, I know why you did it, it was just stupid,” you reminded him with a frown and you saw a bright smile press in over his lips. Negan moved in closer to you on the couch and could feel you tensing up when he reached out to drag his thumb over the side of your mouth. He brought his thumb to his lips and sucked over it as you cleared your throat uneasily.

“You’re still my dirty girl,” he teased you with a smile before reaching for the container that was empty. Putting it back into the bag, he wiggled his brow when he reached inside to pull out a box of Twinkies and you let out a small laugh. “We found these too…”

“Oh man, I hated those when I was younger,” you let out a hearty laugh when you watched him ripping open the package and shook your head. He popped one open and you accepted it when he handed it to you. “But, I’m desperate at this point.”

“How can you hate these? They are fucking great,” Negan opened one for himself and took a large bit from it, letting out a groan when he bit into it. Speaking with a mouthful, you laughed at him and shook your head as he continued. “I mean, they never go fucking bad…” 

“Better than I remember,” you answered, feeling his free arm wrapping around you to tug you closer to him on the couch. You let out a pained noise and he gave you a sideways glance. “Sorry, my shoulders and back have been hurting me lately.”

“Oh, well shit…” Negan polished off the rest of the treat before motioning you to sit on the ground before him. “Take a seat; I can help you out with that.”

“Who are you and where is Negan?” you teased when you felt him urging you onto the ground in front of the couch. He moved in behind you and started to slowly caress over your shoulders. A heavy sigh escaped your lips when you felt his large hands working out the kinks in your neck.

“Fuck girl, I can’t be nice?” Negan snickered from behind you, continuing to caress over your shoulders in his talented touch. Leaning your head back, you could feel his grip getting tighter to help get rid of the knots in your muscles. “I think Simon is working you too fucking hard.”

“Simon is working me as hard as you asked him to,” you reminded him and heard him grunt from behind you as you leaned further back into his caress. It was odd to have Negan pampering someone from what you could tell; usually it was the other way around. “I should probably chill it though. I’ve been working hard to get the points and…”

“Don’t worry about that, I’ll be sneaking you food from here on,” Negan insisted with a sigh as you felt him start to squeeze harder at your shoulders and you let out a small gasp. His lips pressed a soft kiss over the side of your neck and you could feel your body tensing up. “So take it easy.”

“Negan, what do you want?” you sighed when you felt his rough hands caress still continuing over the back of your shoulders and neck. “You deciding to be nice to me just feels odd. First with the food and then with the shoulder rub. What is it you are aiming at?”

“Man, fuck you…” Negan laughed leaning back on the couch and you let out a sigh when you felt him stop rubbing your shoulders. He reached for another Twinkie and let out an angered sound when he bit into it after pulling it from the wrapper. “See if I continue to share my Twinkies with you.”

“You can keep the Twinkies if you keep up with the shoulder rub,” you suggested and heard the small rumble of laughter escape his throat. Watching him finish of his sugary treat, you felt him scoot forward again before reaching out to rub at your pained body again. “I’m just saying, you must want something from this?”

“To be nice after I was an asshole?” Negan answered with a sigh as you leaned back into his caress. For a while things stayed quiet between the two of you and after a while his caress had gotten you so comfortable that you found yourself falling asleep. “I really fucking am just trying to make up for what I fucking did, you know?”

“It’s going to take a whole hell of a lot more than some Twinkies and a shoulder rub to make it up to me Negan,” you replied with a heavy sigh knowing that Negan was trying, but it wouldn’t make up for the things that he had previously done. Carefully getting up, you could feel Negan reaching out for your hand to pull you back to the couch. Negan lowered you back against the couch and you felt him moving in over you and you reached your hands up to push it in over the center of his chest. “Whoa, easy sailor. We’re not doing this again…”

“Who said that’s what I was aiming at?” Negan teased reaching down to begin to tickle at your sides, causing you to writhe beneath him. “I’m just gonna punish you here for giving me such a hard damn time.”

“Negan, stop…” you muttered with a laugh feel him continue his tickle torture at your body before feeling your leg come up and firmly collide with the center of his groin. A heavy groan fell from his lips as you heard him fall to the ground in a thud and you could feel your heart begin to pound in your chest. “Oh shit, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to do that…I'm just very ticklish and couldn't control my body.”

“Jesus, fucking…shit,” Negan turned onto his back and you could see his face was red as he reached down to cup himself in his hand. Grunting uneasily, he shot you a look and rolled his eyes. “Lesson learned, never fucking tickling you ever fucking again. Jesus fuck. Fuckety fuck.”

“I am so sorry,” you tried to reach out to him, but he blocked you from helping him. His hand rose up and he shook his head over and over again. “Negan, I swear. That was an accident.”

“Bullshit,” he laughed from where he was laying on the ground, holding himself. “That was totally purposeful. I guess I deserve it after everything I did, but damn girl…fuck.”

After a while, Negan got up from the ground and nodded slowly before sitting back down on the couch at the far end. You watched Negan kick his feet up on the coffee table before urging you to lie back in his lap. Looking up at him, you could feel his fingertips pressing into your hair to give you a calming caress. “What’s this?”

“Just relax,” Negan offered with a sigh and you reached up with your hand to grab his left hand in yours while his right continued to caress over your scalp in a tender fashion. “Try to get some sleep, okay?”

And that’s how it continued to go for the next few days. Negan would come in late at night when everyone was down for the night except for the night crew to bring you dinner and the two of you would hang out before falling asleep together. Some nights would end with the two of you falling asleep on the couch or falling asleep in the bed together. Either way around it, every night Negan came back to be with you. It felt weird and sometimes a bit forced, but you found yourself getting used to it and expecting it every night. Almost expecting it and getting excited for it throughout the day.

This next day was like the rest, you hadn’t seen Negan throughout the day, but had been waiting for what seemed like forever to have him come back to your room to be with you. It seemed like this day was taking longer than usual and like it just kept getting later and later. Finally, after you had just about given up, you heard the sound of the door opening and looked to Negan standing in the doorway looking fit to be tied.

“Hey,” you yawned, watching him close the door behind him and reach to pull his jacket from his shoulders. He tossed it into the corner of the room before kicking off his boots and then reaching for his crisp, white t-shirt to pull it over his head. Gulping down, you pulled yourself up into a seated position and felt him crawling into the bed. A groan escaped his lips when you felt him lowering his head into your lap and he clutched your thigh before closing his eyes shut tightly. “Headache again?”

“Yeah,” he bit into his bottom lip with a hiss when you reached down to caress your fingertips into his hair in a tender manner. Heavy breaths were felt against your thigh as you propped your back up against the headboard. Tracing your fingertips over his scalp, you heard him sigh and continued your caress. “The fucking aspirin doesn’t help.”

“I’m sorry,” you sighed, watching him open his eyes to look back at you with a frown. You traced over his masculine features and shrugged your shoulders. “I don’t like seeing you in this much pain.”

“You should like it, I’m a piece of shit that deserves whatever the fuck I get,” he grumbled under his breath as you caressed your fingertips further down his jaw to play with his stubble before reaching up to tease your fingertips over his scalp. “I am very fucking sorry, you know that, right?”

“About some things, yeah,” you nodded with a sigh and could see the frown that pressed in over his handsome features. Tipping down, you pressed a soft kiss over the center of his lips before patting his cheek softly. “We’re still working on that whole trust thing though, okay?”

“Okay,” he smirked; closing his eyes again and you continued your caress over his scalp knowing that it often helped him with his headaches.

This time that you had spent with him was really starting to fuck you up. You were enjoying your time with Negan so much. More than you did originally since the two of you weren’t haven’t sex or fooling around. Most of the time you were just talking and hanging out before falling asleep together. It was a bit like dating, well as close as you could get to it in this new world. Yet, you had to keep it a secret from everyone. Simon had to think he still hated you and often talked about it. Dwight still thought he was an asshole to you and so did everyone else. It was hard keeping that the two of you were actually being civil together from everyone. It wasn’t fair, Negan was making you fall in love with him all over again, yet you were being forced to keep it a secret and you didn’t know how well you were going to be able to handle that.

 

* * *

  
  
“You should get yourself something to eat,” Simon urged you as you both walked up the stairs of The Sanctuary and you could feel him grabbing a hold of your wrist to urge you toward the dining area. You shook your head and ignored his offers knowing that you weren’t very hungry. “I’ve been around you ninety percent of the damn day the last month or so and I can see that you aren’t eating. You need to eat. Spend the points; it’s going to be fine.”

“I’m fine, I’m not hungry,” you tried to assure him, feeling your body tensing up when you saw Negan standing at the doorway of his office talking with Dwight. Gulping down, you could hear the sound that Simon made when he saw you looking at Negan. “Trust me; I would eat if I was hungry…”

“Then you must be living off your own body fat,” Simon frowned and he grabbed a hold of your wrist when he had noticed that you were staring out at Negan. “Now, don’t go saying something that’s gonna get you in trouble. Things have been going really well for you lately and you don’t want to ruin it.”

“I’m not going to say shit,” you snapped back with a sigh and moved forward to see Negan’s eyes lift up when heard the two of your moving closer to where he was. A small smirk pressed in over the corners of his lips when his eyes met yours before looking back to continue to talk with Dwight. “I’m going to head to bed…”

“Are you sure? I was really thinking that you should be eating,” Simon suggested again and he tried to reach out to grasp your shoulder, only for you slide out beneath his grasp. “I’m serious.”

“Hey wait,” Negan’s voice called out and the two of you turned to stare out at him as he walked toward the two of you. His eyebrows were clenched and he looked pissed as he stepped forward to grab a hold of your arm, tugging you forward with him. “I need you to fucking do something for me before you go to bed.”

“Negan, she’s been out all day…” Simon defended you with a frown and Negan shot Simon a glare before pulling you off in another direction where it was just the two of you.

“Tonight, around our normal time…sneak outside. I have something special I want you to have,” Negan whispered in your ear and you could feel him clutching onto you tightly. His eyes watched you closely before smiling brightly. “Okay?”

“Okay,” you agreed with a heavy sigh, looking over your shoulder to make sure it was just the two of you there. “So what is your order going to be because people are going to wonder what the hell you asked me for if I’m not doing anything?”

“Fuck, you’re right,” Negan dropped his head back and let out a small growl. You laughed when you watched him reach up to pinch at the bridge of his nose, desperate to come up with something. “Fucking shit. Uhm, do you know where the fucking laundry room is? Go there and get my stuff that’s down there. That’s the best fucking thing I can come up with…”

“Okay,” you let out a small laugh when you could see his dimples showing clearly and he took a look around before moving in to press a quick kiss over your lips.

“Now get moving,” Negan moved around you and you let out a yelp when you felt him smacking over your bottom causing you to stumble forward. Following him back to where Simon and Dwight were, you did as he asked and when you came back you saw them waiting near Negan’s room. Carrying the bag over your shoulder, you could see all three men watching you and let out a tight breath. “About damn time…”

“Sorry sir,” you gave Negan a glare and shook your head before moving into his room to set his things on the bed. When you moved out of the room, you kept your focus off of Negan and went to move away. You felt Simon pat you on the shoulder softly before heading off to your room.

Like Negan had asked, you waited until it was completely dark and everyone was off in bed. There were still a few people that you had learned the routine of during the night when Negan would sneak into your room. You waited until you knew that you would have the room to sneak out and left your room. Moving down the hallways, you quickly found your way out of The Sanctuary and let out a chill when the cool air of the outside blasted you in the face.

Looking around, you spotted Negan sitting by a fire off in the distance and moved in the general direction, seeing his face light up when he saw you walking over toward him. He stood and reached down to pat his hands clean before he reached out to your hands to pull you close to him.

“I was hoping you’d make it out soon,” Negan reached up to cup your face in his rough hands, caressing his thumbs over your jawline before sighing heavily. “I was starting to think that you wouldn’t come out.”

“I have to sneak around here to be with you, remember?” you pointed out when you felt his fingertips brushing your hair back behind your ear. His eyes were watching you closely and you sighed when you felt his gentle caress continue over your face. “How do you hide this every night? I mean, they have to realize that you are gone sometimes with me.”

“I fucking cover my tracks,” Negan answered, motioning you toward the blanket that he had lying out on the ground. He had a few pillows out too and you felt him carefully helping you down. Giving him a sideways glance, you watched him sitting down on the ground beside you and let out an uncomfortable laugh. “What?”

“What’s going on here Negan?” you found yourself confused. The last few weeks had been so confusing to you. Negan was constantly there trying to be nice with you and you would fall asleep together every night, but it was just continuing to make things harder. Negan’s nose wrinkled in response and you saw him press his hands back on the blanket. “I mean it, what is this?”

“This…this is fucking s’mores,” Negan motioned you to wait and you watched him reach for the bag that was beside him. He pulled out a bag of marshmallows and you let out an uncomfortable laugh. You lowered your head into your hand and heard his deep laugh in response. “What? I thought you might like that…”

“Oh fuck, bring out the s’mores,” you laughed, seeing the handsome smirk of his to follow. You watched as he grabbed a stick from beside him and handed it to you before lining a row of marshmallows over it. Wrinkling your nose, you watched Negan grabbing the rest of the supplies before motioning you to put the marshmallows over the fire. “You keep bribing me with food…”

“It’s always the quickest fucking way to someone’s heart,” he winked at you, breaking a piece of chocolate off from a candy bar that he had and plopped it into his mouth. “I thought you’d like this find of ours. S’mores out under the stars, sounded pretty fucking nice to me.”

“Yeah, it sounds like an awesome date for someone that isn’t you,” you reminded him and saw the frown that pressed in over his features when he reached for the stick to grab the marshmallows and put together the s’more. He handed you over a s’more and watched you for a long moment. His right eyebrow arched up expectantly, waiting for you to take a bite. A large smile pressed in over his lips as he watched you take a bite and let out a pleasant sound. “Jesus Negan…”

“Good, right?” he slurred with a deep laugh falling from his lips before making one for himself. You watched him plow down his s’more and you cherished yours more. That was the difference between the two of you. Negan was still used to getting everything like this, but for you…these were things that you had only gotten before the virus broke out. S’mores brought back memories for you and it made you cherish the moment at hand. “Fuck, you’re a slow eater.”

“I like to cherish the things I get here Negan,” you pointed out, looking down at your half eaten s’more as Negan made himself another one and you let out a heavy breath. “What are you intending on happening here between us Negan?”

“We eat s’mores?” Negan slurred with a mouth full of the last bite of his s’more that he took. A laugh escaped your lips at his actions and you shook your head slowly. There was the arrogant asshole of Negan, but there was also the simple and sweet part of Negan too. It sucked that you loved both of them. “Fuck, did I say something wrong again?”

“No, it’s just…” you watched Negan finish his second s’more before moving in beside you on the blanket. His arm hooked loosely around you, the warmth of his body pressing in over yours and you sighed heavily. “I don’t get this. I feel like I’m dating you every night and this whole sleeping with me until morning…”

“It’s been the best sleep I’ve gotten in years,” Negan informed you with a heavy breath and you could feel him nestling his nose against the corner of your neck. Your eyes closed when you felt his beard teasing in over you skin and you tried to focus on your thoughts. “It’s been fucking great…”

“I know, but…” you began again, pulling away from Negan enough to see his gorgeous eyes lifting to meet your stare. “Do you really care about me or is this about something more?”

“Why would I be trying so fucking hard if I didn’t care about you?” Negan retorted with a smirk, reaching out to tease his fingertips playfully over the back of your hand before winking. “Not to sound like a dick, but if I didn’t want to be spending my time with you, I wouldn’t be.”

“I know that, trust me I know that,” you let out a confused breath and left a silence between the two of you. Finishing off the last bite of your s’more, you heard his laugh fill the air as you raised your head. “What?”

“You’re always getting messy here when I'm bring you food. You're always going to be my dirty girl,” Negan reached out to drag his finger in over your bottom lip before depositing it between his lips after he cleaned up the chocolate that was there. Your mind was racing as you watched him wink out at you and you knew it was wrong, but you moved forward to slam your lips over his, hearing the shocked sound that escaped his lips. “Whoa, hey…”

“I don’t know why you are doing what you are doing, but these last few weeks…these meetings at night have really meant a lot to me,” you whispered, feeling his thumb caressing over your bottom lip in a tender manner. Negan’s tongue dragged out over his bottom lip before a smile pressed in over the corners of his lips. “I have really enjoyed the time we’ve spent together.”

“Nah, you’ve just liked the food I’ve provided,” Negan teased, reaching out to poke you in the ribs and you rolled your eyes. It was typical of Negan to make a joke out of a serious situation, but at least he wasn’t being a dick about it. “Fuck, I’m just kidding. I’ve really enjoyed it too. You are the one person I’ve ever felt comfortable with here. You know that.”

“Right…” you nodded and a moment later felt his lips softly pressing in over yours, the chocolate that he had just eaten still lingering over his lips. The sensation of his rough fingertips caressing over your jawline was felt as he kissed you over and over again. A heavy breath escaped your lips when you felt him pull away and rest his forehead against yours. “Negan…”

“I know, I was a dick, but…you mean the fucking world to me,” he informed you in a very deep tone, his words coming out in a whisper as he met your lips in another soft kiss. It was something that you had never experienced with Negan. Something so subtle and sweet. “I wish every day that I didn’t fuck up as bad as I did.”

“Me too,” you agreed knowing that you actually enjoyed what the two of you had before Negan was an asshole. Now, you enjoyed this side of Negan more than any side you had grown a liking too, but you still had your mind wrapped around what he was like before. “I want to believe that things are going to change, but…”

“Things already have,” Negan insisted and you reached up to cup his rough features in your hands tenderly. Caressing over his stubble covered jawline; you moved in to kiss him again before falling back against the ground, urging him to move in over you. Carefully, Negan crawled in over you, keeping his weight on his left arm as he moved in over you. “I think it’s pretty obvious that I’m trying to be very fucking different with you.”

Instead of responding, you pulled him closer to you to continue to kiss him. You enjoyed the taste of his lips over yours as you parted your lips, allowing his tongue to press between your opened lips. Sucking softly over his tongue, you reached your hands up to start caressing over the center of his chest. Pulling your lips from his, you turned your attention to tease your lips over the side of his neck and heard him groaning when you nipped at his skin. Taking your right hand, you reached down to press your hand in over the center of his pants to caress over his body.

“Whoa, hold on…” Negan pulled away from you and looked down toward your hand caressing over his body through the material of his pants. Negan bit into his bottom lip and his eyes closed as he felt your grasp continue over him. “I’m not sure you want this.”

“I do,” you assured him, tugging on his hair to pull him into another kiss. You nipped over his bottom lip and tugged on it softly with a soft purr. You could feel him tense at first, but relaxing over a period of time as the two of you continued to kiss.

“Jesus…” Negan’s jaw dropped a bit when he felt your fingertips pulling down the zipper in his pants before quickly pressing your hand underneath the material of his pants and boxer briefs to caress over his length. The warmth of your palm wrapping around his body caused his hips to arch up into your caress and you could hear his breathing increase. “Are you sure about this?”

“I am,” you agreed, letting out a gasp when you felt his mouth hammering in over yours. Desperately kissing him back, you could feel him urging your hand from his pants and he grabbed a tight hold of your hands, pinning them against the blanket as he kissed you.

“I don’t want you to regret this in the morning,” Negan let go of your wrists enough as he carefully got up over you on his knees. Leaning up, you could feel him reaching out to cup your face in his hands tenderly. “I’ve been trying really hard to keep this whole thing…fucking sweet. I didn’t bring you out here to have sex with you; I really swear I fucking brought you out here to…”

“Negan, I’m sure…” you silenced and felt his fingertips teasing down your arms, toward the bottom of your shirt. With a small nod, you gave him permission as he pulled the material up your body and tossed it to the side.

The soft caressing sensation of Negan’s fingertips over your jawline was felt and you reached for the bottom of his gray t-shirt. He leaned back enough to help you pull the material from his body and when it hit the ground, you reached up to caress your hands up from his lower abdomen toward his chest. A smile pressed in over his lips as you could feel his chest rising and falling heavily. Your fingertips teased through the thick hair covering his chest before feeling him tip in to press his lips in over your jaw. Tipping your head back, you could feel the warmth of his mouth trail down your jawline, toward your chest and lower toward your abdomen.  Negan got on his knees again as his hands teased over your abdomen and toward the button in your pants. When he unhooked the material, you lifted your hips to help him get your pants down your legs. A sexy smile pressed in over his features as he raised your leg up to press a soft kiss over the inside of your calf.

“It was the s’mores, wasn’t it?” Negan smirked, making a laugh from your lips when you felt his kiss continue over the inside of your leg. A snort escaped his lips when his nose wrinkled at your laugh. The teasing and joking in a sweet way was totally different for Negan. “I mean the scenery is so fucking romantic and all. Under the stars, on grass with walkers not too far off in the fucking distance keeping The Sanctuary safe…”

“Are you trying to get me to stop?” you chuckled, letting out a soft moan when you felt his kisses furthering farther up your thigh. A whimper caught in the back of your throat when you felt him reaching for your panties, urging your hips up to pull them from your body carefully. “We have to make due right? Plus I think under the stars is very romantic.”

“Ah, well then I guess I did something fucking right,” he rumbled against your skin as you pulled your body up and unhooked your bra, pulling it from your body while Negan watched you closely. A heavy gulp developed in his throat before moving up your body. The teasing caress of his stubble over your body while he kissed up the length of your torso was driving you wild as you grabbed a tight hold of his thick hair, pulling him in closer to you. You reached down while his lips caressed over your neck to get his pants down his waist, along with his briefs. A grunt escaped his lips when he reached down to help you get the material far enough down his hips. Watching him carefully move in over you, you could see him reaching his right hand down to caress over his length in slow manner to get his length completely solid and you gulped heavily. “You can tell me no now…”

A nod was all it took as you clutched onto his shoulders, holding him close to you and letting out a purr when you felt his mouth covering yours in a tender sweeping caress. The warmth of his body pressing in over your entrance caused a gasp to escape your lips when you felt his length entering your body. Negan’s nose nestled against the side of your neck as he pushed forward into you and you reached up with your right hand to cling at his thick hair.

There was something different in his movements as you tugged roughly at his hair while his hips slowly moved over you, taking his time to draw out his thrusts inside of you and small whimpers escaped your lips. His mouth was trailing warm, wet kisses over the side of your neck and you could feel your body rocking against his to get him deeper into your warmth. Tugging onto his hair, you urged his mouth to yours and felt his tongue plunging out against yours and his breathing got heavier.

“What are you doing?” you breathed, pulling your mouth away from his and you could see his brow line tensing. Your hands caressed over his stubble covered face and you leaned up to steal another kiss from his lips.

“I was attempting to make love to you,” Negan muttered and a laugh fell from your lips making him let out a frustrated sound. “What? Is it bad?”

“Oh no, it’s just so fucking weird hearing you say it like that,” you chuckled, feeling his lips meeting yours in another kiss and you sighed against his kiss. “I’m just used to the rough side of you.”

“I just think it’s time that I started focusing on you for a while,” Negan informed you with an uneven breath as you felt his hips starting to snap harder and quicker inside of you, making his body sink deeper within the depths of your body. Your nails bit into his back as a heavy grunt escaped his lips and he lowered his forehead against yours. “It’s what I should have done the first time we were together…”

You clutched to him tightly as the power of his thrusts got harder and harder over you.

“Though, I could have picked a more comfortable place for this…” Negan laughed against the side of your neck and your eyes slammed shut when you felt him urging your thighs around his hips. A cry escaped your lips when you felt his long, drawn out motions inside of you, focusing more so solely on what made you feel good. “You like that?”

“Yes,” you nodded desperately, feeling his mouth hovering yours and you leaned up to kiss him, seeking out his perfect lips. “Negan…”

“Shit…” his head tipped back when he felt your body clamping around his and you suctioned your lips over the side of his neck, hearing his moan fill the air around you. Your legs hooked tightly around his hips, urging him harder and further into your body and could feel him tensing over you.

Tossing your head back, you could feel your body tensing up around his and felt a rush fill throughout your body. You were approaching an orgasm and by the power of Negan’s thrust, you knew that he was aware of your body by now that he knew it was close. His brow line was clenched as he focused on rocking his hips into yours over and over again.

“Negan,” you clung to his body and heard his grunts against your skin when your walls squeezed his length. Breathlessness overtook you when you felt the tingling sensation filling your limbs. Your thighs trembled and twitched around Negan’s hips as your toes curled upon feeling your release. You could feel him falling in over you while his hips continued to move in over you until you felt his own body begin to twitch from within your warmth. Holding onto to him tightly, you kept him close while his breath pressed heavily over your skin. The sensation of his lips moving in over yours was felt and you could feel him holding onto you as he cautiously laid over you. “Wow.”

“You okay?” he muttered, his lips pressing soft kisses over your jawline and toward your neck and you nodded, letting out a small laugh when he pulled back to look at you. A small smile pressed in over the corners of his lips as you shrugged and reached out to press your fingers throughout his wet hair. “What?”

“I’m seeing stars,” you teased, letting out a laugh when the confused expression pressed in over his face. When he realized what you were saying, he rolled his eyes and let out a disgusted noise. “That was perfect Negan…”

“Good,” he slurred against your skin as you met him in another sensual kiss. “I’m glad.”

 

* * *

 

  
Lying in bed, you looked over at Negan and could see him sleeping heavily on the pillow beside you. Reaching out, you brushed your fingertips throughout his thick hair and watched him slightly move beneath your touch. You hadn’t been able to sleep all night after what happened between you and Negan. It was such a sweet, loving moment, but you still found yourself sad after being with Negan like that. He wanted to make love to you and be sweet with you, but you still had to pretend that the two of you weren’t together. You had to pretend like you still hated him and you still had to sneak around with him and while that may have been okay for some people, it wasn’t okay for you.

Gulping down heavily, you caressed over Negan’s jawline and knew that you were about to do something stupid, something you didn’t want to do at all, but knew that it had to be done. Leaning forward, you pressed a soft kiss against Negan’s lips and heard him let out a pleasant sound when your kiss woke him up.

“Well that’s a nice thing to wake up to,” Negan slurred against your lips, his tired eyes gradually opening to stare out at you. The color of his beautiful, hazel eyes really caught you up for a moment as he smiled and moved in to kiss you again. “What’s on your mind?”

“I can’t keep doing this Negan,” you responded against his lips, feeling his laugh pressing in over your lips and you shook your head slowly when you pulled away. “I’m sorry, I just…you keep coming in here and I don’t know how you feel about me. You act like you love me, but you won’t say it and I’m not really even sure you care to begin with and it’s so hard walking these hallways pretending that I have to hate you.”

“What?” Negan yawned, sitting up in the bed with you and when he reached out to touch you, you pulled away and shook your head. Getting up from the bed, you grabbed your panties and pulled them on along with your shirt. “I asked you last night if you were sure and you said you were…”

“I know what I said,” you nodded, seeing the hurt that pressed in over Negan’s features as you folded your arms out in front of your chest. “This hurts. It hurts because I’m falling more in love with you and I have to pretend that I hate you and I just…I can’t.”

“It’s to keep you safe, please fucking understand that,” Negan almost begged from the bed, pulling the sheets closer to his naked body and you shrugged your shoulders. “I haven’t told you I loved you yet, but last night, last night what happened…I’ve never done with anyone, but you. I mean, there was my first wife, but…”

“Negan, I’m sorry it’s just…” you spoke up in a hurt tone and Negan reached up to press his fingertips throughout his hair in a tense manner. “Please try to understand.”

“I thought…I thought I was doing right by you,” Negan frowned and he threw his hands up, not sure what to say at this point. “I’m with you and…”

“This has been the most amazing last few weeks having you here with me Negan and you are so…” you let out a saddened breath and you could see Negan’s jaw clenching as you continued to speak. “I’m sorry; this is just hurting too much. I want to be able to kiss you and not hide that I’m in love with you from Simon. Simon thinks you are still being a massive dick to me and that I’m starving myself, when I really have the most amazing nights with you.”

“You want me to tell Simon because I fucking will,” Negan offered and you shook your head, seeing his brow line tensing together since he was clearly confused. “Tell me what you want and I’ll do it within fucking reason.”

“I want to be able to walk in the hallways with you and be able to kiss you without worrying. I want to be able to speak to you and not have to worry what the other Saviors are going to think. I understand that you have your wives and I accept that, but I want to be able to be known as someone you care for too,” you answered and could see the expression that Negan gave you. “I can take whatever is going on Negan, I know that I can. If you just gave me the chance…”

“I would rather give up us…over fucking putting you in danger,” Negan bit back on his disappointment and you threw your hands up, moving over to the couch to sit down on the edge of it while you stared out at him in your bed. “If you would just understand…”

“How long am I supposed to be in fear Negan? How long am I supposed to pretend with you?” you stammered and Negan didn’t have an answer for you. You could see him uncomfortably shift on the bed and you shrugged. “I love you Negan. I know I shouldn’t, but I do and I don’t want to hide it anymore. So if you care about me, you will leave and just leave me be. The more time you spend with me, the more I’m falling in love with you and the more it hurts when I have to keep pretending to hate you.”

“Do you really mean that?” Negan spoke up after a long moment and nodded, but there were tears pressing in over the sides of your face. Negan gulped down and nodded, getting out from the bed to pull his clothes on. He went to leave, but stopped and turned to face you. The soothing sensation of his rough fingertips cupping your face in his hands was felt and he pulled you up for a long, soft kiss before pulling away with a nod. “I’m sorry for hurting you, but I’ll do what you want…”

“Thank you,” you bit back on your emotions as Negan gave you one final look before leaving you alone in your room in silence. You knew that this would break you, but it was the decision that you absolutely had to make if you wanted to be able to make it. It was a horrible pain that you felt giving up what the two of you had, but you just couldn’t keep pretending anymore and hiding your relationship. It was just too hard.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The OC (reader) decides that they have had enough of The Sanctuary and they are going to attempt to leave while away on a run with Simon....

“What’s the bag for?” Simon questioned when you moved out of The Sanctuary after you had been told that you were going to be going on a run with Simon and his crew. You pulled your backpack over your shoulder tighter and saw Simon eyeing it over closely. “Whatcha got in there?”

“Just some water,” you lied, pulling the bag away far enough to keep it out of his sight. Simon watched you closely for a moment and it seemed like he was trying to decipher whether you were being honest or not.

Sadly, Simon knew you pretty well and it was hard to lie to him. Your friendship, if that’s what you even would call it had developed quite a bit over the last few weeks. A heavy breath escaped his lips when he reached up to brush his hand throughout his hair and you nodded.

It had been a couple of days since you told Negan that you couldn’t keep up what the two of you had going on. You hadn’t really interacted with Negan much other than when you had to do something to work for him, but it was rare. It was hard being around Negan because you could tell that you hurt him when you told him that you didn’t want to keep up with their relationship anymore. You didn’t think it was possible to ‘hurt’ Negan, but every time his eyes had met yours, there was something in his eyes that told you he was miserable. When you had put an end to things, you imagined the nightly dinner meals would stop too, but oddly enough—they didn’t. Every night there would be a knock at your door and when you went, no one would be there, but there would be a bag of food. So even though you had asked Negan to leave you completely alone, he hadn’t. He was still supplying you with food to keep your healthy and strong which confused you more. At this point you had though Negan would be back to hating you, but it wasn’t happening and your mind was completely twisted with your own thoughts.

You had spent more time with Simon that you had normally wanted to do, but it was the only way you could keep your mind off Negan. That’s why when you lied to Simon; you had to change the subject. It was hard lying to someone you actually considered your friend. “So what are we doing?”

“We’re going out to an area that the last time we went was surrounded by walkers. Now it seems like they have left and we are going to go and check out the area. See if there is anything out there worth bringing back,” Simon informed you with a small smirk and you nodded. Simon looked around for a moment before reaching for the knife that he had attached to his belt. He handed it out to you and you looked down at it with an odd expression. “You’re going to need to be safe out there.”

“I’m not sure Negan would be okay with that,” you looked down to the sheathed knife and shook your head slowly. “I can’t take that. If he found out about it, he would get pissed at you and me. I don’t want that. I got my gun taken away; I don’t think he’d be happy with me having a knife.”

“Then give it back to me when we get back,” Simon suggested with a heavy sigh and you reached out cautiously to grab a hold of it before watching him reach up to caress over his mustache. Looking up, you could see toward the back of one of the trucks, there was an older man standing with Michael and they both seemed to be staring at you. When they noticed you were watching them too, the older gentleman turned Michael away. When Simon noticed you make a face, he turned to look. “What?”

“That guy there, who is that?” you looked over at the older gentleman. There were several men whispering amongst the group and you found yourself taken back by how odd the interaction seemed to be. Something seemed familiar about the man that kept staring back at you, but you weren’t quite sure what it was. “He’s looking at me like I know him, but I don’t.”

“Oh, that’s Randy. He was part of Michael’s group when we brought Michael here. Unlike Michael, he learned the ways pretty easily,” Simon informed you as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders while you watched the two men getting into the back of the truck. “Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know, I was just getting a weird vibe,” you sighed heavily and moved forward toward the trucks while you hooked the knife Simon had given you up to your belt.

The sound of Simon whistling at you caused you to stop and look over your shoulder. He waved you in closer to him and when you saw him pulling open the door to the front of the truck, you gave him a sideways look. “You’re going to sit up here with me.”

“Are you sure about that?” you muttered with a heavy sigh and he nodded, a bright smile pressing in over his lips. “Alright…”

Most of the ride, the two of you had stayed quiet between each other, but Simon would make a random comment off and on. Looking down at the bag between your feet, you knew it was some of the things that you had that were yours. You were planning on leaving. As soon as you got time alone, you were going to take off and leave. After all that Negan had pulled and after realizing that you could no longer take being around Negan and not being able to be with him, you were done trying to make it at The Sanctuary. You weren’t sure where you were going to go, but you were going to try and head back to Alexandria. Maybe they would be willing to take you back and you could have a chance with maybe helping them get Daryl out without people dying from either side. You weren’t trying to give Simon the hint that you were leaving. You were trying to act as normal as possible.

“I have a question and if this is too personal, please let me know,” Simon looked over at you from the driver’s side of the truck. His eyes were closely watching you as he saw you starting out at the nature around you. You weren’t trying to draw attention to yourself, but he wouldn’t stop staring at you. Damn. “Did you really love Negan?”

“Does that matter anymore?” you retorted with a small snicker and you could see him shrug before looking back to the road again. You looked down at the large hunting knife that Simon had given you and his question made you think things over. You promised Negan that you wouldn’t tell people about the secret relationship that the two of you had for weeks, but it still hurt. You wanted to know if Negan cared as much as he acted over that time period. “Does he talk about me?”

“Does that matter anymore?” Simon answered with a bit of sarcasm in his tone, trying to give you the same kind of answer that you gave him. Your eyebrows arched up and a smile pressed in over the corners of your lips. You should have been annoyed with him, but his ridiculous expression made your attitude lighten up a bit. “He does care about you, you know that right?”

“Oh, he’s very good at showing it,” you rolled your eyes and looked around the unfamiliar area. Negan told you that he cared for you and you wanted to believe him so badly, but at the same time didn’t know what to believe. When you looked outside of the truck, there were walkers in the distance and you could see that they were pretty separated. Not many of them were out in the field, but there were still a few to be cautious of. “He’s a fucking asshole.”

“Won’t deny that, but he only did what he did because he has…issues,” Simon sighed and you could tell that he was trying to think of the right way to sell what happened with Negan. Simon seemed caught up on telling you something as well and you could see him shift uncomfortably in the seat. It was the same kind of thing you had seen with Negan when he was trying to explain to you the way he was acting. “When people question his strength and his leadership, he thinks stupidly. Negan’s taken care of a lot of people. At the beginning of when this shit storm started, he got close to those people. All of those people died, so he kind of has a hard time showing emotion. He tells himself that if he gets attached, people are going to die. So that’s why he pushes those he cares about away.”

“I’m hearing this from you Simon and not him, why should I believe this?” you pointed out, letting out a tight sigh when you thought about Negan. What Simon was saying made sense, especially when you thought about the things that Negan had said to you one of the nights he was having a nightmare along with what he told you during one of the most recent nights. “I’d like to think that there was good in Negan, but he’s cold. What he did to me was harsh.”

“Oh, I’m not saying he doesn’t deserve a swift kick to the balls,” Simon admitted, making a small laugh escape your lips when you thought about Negan’s right hand man talking about him that way. If you could only tell him that you accidentally did kick Negan in the balls. Unfortunately that would alert Simon to the fact that the two of you had been spending time together when no one was around. “I’m just saying Negan is severely messed up. You see he had a w…you know what, nope. Not my place to tell.”

“And I won’t force you to,” you shrugged and thought about all that he had told you thus far. It was a deeper look into Negan, but it still didn’t stop the pain and anger that you had toward Negan. Negan made you fall in love with him all over again and basically told you it had to be a secret. That was hard. “I get what you are doing Simon and thank you.”

“Anytime,” Simon reached out with his right hand to pat you on the knee softly while his left kept a firm hold of the wheel.

You felt the sensation of his hand grabbing a tight hold of your knee and it seemed like he wasn’t about to let go. Reaching up, you pressed your hand over his and pat it softly before clearing your throat uneasily.

“Simon?” you breathed out knowing that he seemed to be getting a little too touchy with you lately as it was. When Simon realized you were uncomfortable, he pulled his hand from your leg and nodded slowly. After Negan had mentioned that Simon liked you like he did, you found yourself extremely uncomfortable when he would touch you like that. “We almost there?”

“Mhmm…” Simon bit into his bottom lip and nodded toward the road. “Just a couple of miles this way.”

It was a while, but eventually you hit a small town that seemed pretty abandoned. There were a few stray walkers, but Simon had sent out some of The Saviors while he was getting things ready at the back of the truck. While waiting for Simon, you felt someone moving in behind you and you jumped at the closeness. You reached for your knife that Simon had given you until you saw Michael standing behind you with his hands thrown up in the air.

“You just scared the hell out of me,” a panicked breath escaped your lips when you released the blade and saw the frown that was over Michael’s lips. “What now?”

“No, I get it. I wouldn’t want to see my face either,” Michael confessed, reaching up to press his dark hair out of his face when he realized you weren’t going to attack him. There was silence between the two of you as he dragged his hand across his face that had a heavy amount of stubble over it. It was a different look for him, but you could tell that he meant you no harm right now. “I wanted to say I was sorry. I was being an ignorant, childish person toward you the other day. I shouldn’t have talked to you like that and I understand why you hit me. You should have done worse.”

“I should have, you’re right,” you nodded with a heavy scowl and he folded his arms out in front of his chest. “I know you hate Negan, but I’m not Negan.”

“I know and I took unnecessary shit out on you and it was wrong,” Michael apologized again before looking back toward the group that was already starting their search. Michael looked over his shoulder and at the opening of one of the stores you could see Randy staring out at the two of you. The look the man was giving the two of you caused you to let out an uncomfortable noise. “I should get going, but I did want to tell you I was sorry. I don’t think you are a bitch or a slut. I just think you are a strong willed woman that people sometimes take wrong. Which is totally a positive thing I’m saying here, I just don’t think. I get upset at times and my mouth doesn’t have a filtering system.”

“Your body won’t have a filtering system if you don’t get back to work,” you heard Simon’s threaten Michael before pressing in behind you as you could see Michael’s green eyes narrowing out at Simon. Looking over your shoulder, you could see that Simon had a shotgun thrown over his shoulder and was staring out at Michael with an angered expression. “Now get your big ass out there and start searching.”

“That was nice,” you huffed at Simon when Michael moved to the store where Randy was and they both disappeared inside. “Jesus Simon, he was trying to apologize to me.”

“Sure he was,” Simon rolled his eyes and looked toward the store that Michael had disappeared into. “That guy has been a pain in the ass since day one. Big enough to be a real life superhero, but has the personality of a punk ass bitch.”

“Are you checking Michael out?” you teased him, reaching back to elbow him in the stomach hearing a grunt escape his lips when he looked down at you.

“Don’t hit a man with a shotgun over his shoulder. I could have blown someone away,” Simon feigned being hurt as you started moving away from the truck. “You want to come with me? We can look at things together, I’ll keep you safe.”

“I can take care of myself,” you assured him, moving over toward one of the stores.

You stayed close to the front window to watch and make sure that Simon took off in a different location before heading back toward the back of the store. Taking the exit at the back of the store, you could see that there was a large wooded area behind the small town. Taking off in that direction, you thought that maybe cutting through there would get you to a road that would help get you back to Alexandria.

Pushing through the weeds and the bushes, you continued to walk straight ahead hoping that it would lead you somewhere. The sound of something moving in behind you caused you to turn quickly on your heel before catching the branch that was at your feet. Falling to the ground in a thud, you saw that a walker was over you and it started to drop down. Reaching up, you tried to keep your hand up in over its chest to keep it away from you. Using your free hand, you tried to keep yourself distanced while your other hand tried pulling out the knife that Simon had given you.

“Son of a bitch,” you could feel the forcefulness of the walker pushing in over you. It was chomping its mouth together, low groans escaping its throat. Blood was dripping from the melting flesh that was over its jawline and you let out a disgusted sigh. “Please…please…”

The sudden movement of someone pushing the walker off of you made you let out hesitant breath when you felt someone pulling the knife out from your pants and you looked to see Simon stabbing the walker in the head. You let out an unnerved sound when Simon looked back at you with an angered expression.

“Shit…” you grumbled heavily, seeing his chest rising and falling heavily when he moved over to try and help you up. You let out a wince, when you looked down to see that the branch had caused a deep gash over your ankle. There was blood gushing from your skin and you felt Simon pulling you up to him. “I can’t believe you followed me.”

“You’d be fucking zombie food if not for me,” Simon reminded you with a displeased look and you let out a dramatic breath. “What the fuck were you think coming out here like this? You were going to try and take off, weren’t you?”

“What does it matter if I want to leave Simon? I want to get away from The Sanctuary, I want to get away from Negan,” you answered truthfully, seeing the way that Simon arched his eyebrow up and shook his head slowly. “I don’t think that’s a bad request.”

“Negan would kill me if I didn’t come back with you,” Simon informed you with a frown, reaching up to caress over the back of his neck. “You cared about me getting in trouble from you getting the knife, but you are okay with me getting my ass killed when I come back and there is no you?”

“He’ll be fine without me Simon,” you insisted, your voice raising as you saw Simon start to pull open the buttons of his shirt and you gave him an odd expression. You ignored his motions and continued to rant about Negan while you watched him. “What he did a while back was vicious and it hurts being there seeing him that way…”

“Right, I’m sure you totally hate him,” Simon made an exaggerated noise and you rolled your eyes. Seeing him pull open his shirt, you looked over his ripped body and let out a heavy exhale. Simon was absolutely jacked and ripped, something that you didn’t expect at all.

“Holy shit Simon,” you breathed out looking over his chiseled abdomen, feeling your cheeks blush over when you saw him pull his shirt from his body. You looked him over, seeing his arms flexing when you heard him ripping part of his shirt and you shook your head slowly. “What the hell are you doing?”

“You need something to put on that to stop the bleeding,” he nodded down toward your ankle that was now staining your clothes with the blood. He lowered down to press his hand in over your pant leg to roll up the material and he carefully traced his fingertips over your leg. “I wasn’t trying to get fresh with you.”

“Right,” you gulped down feeling him tying the material of his torn shirt around your ankle and you cleared your throat uneasily. When he stood, you could see the smile that pressed in over his lips when you looked over his broad chest. “You are fucking huge. How the hell do you stay in such good shape when it’s a damn apocalypse?”

“Time and lot of heavy things around The Sanctuary,” he winked and you watched him flex his chest in a teasing fashion before starting to pull the shirt back over his body. You watched him pulling the buttons back together and you shook your head slowly. “So are you still going to attempt to take off on me?”

“I don’t want to be there anymore Simon,” you sighed and you could see him fold his arms out in front of his chest. “Negan has been very cruel and…”

“Right, but…it’s not that bad there. We keep our people safe and…” Simon quickly grabbed a hold of you and pushed you behind him. A gasp escaped your lips when you saw him reach for the shotgun and hold it up. You felt him keeping you firmly behind him when you noticed a group of men coming out from the woods. They all were carrying weapons and you could feel Simon keeping you close to him. “I would back off right now if I were you.”

“We would do that,” the man in the middle spoke, moving closer to the two of you and that’s when you noticed that you and Simon were surrounded. Simon tried keeping his body firmly in front of yours as he spun the gun around to point it at the other men coming in closer to you. “But you are snooping through our home…”

“We were just leaving,” Simon tried to suggest and you could see the men were still surrounding you. “We were lost and about to leave.”

“Well that’s a damn near shame,” the man spoke as he pushed his long hair over his shoulder. His whole group was very dirty and it looked like they had been in the woods a very long time. “It seems like the two of you may be with a very well off group. Would they be willing to make a trade for the two of you?”

“It’s just the two of us,” Simon lied and you felt someone grabbing a tight hold of you from behind. Gasping out, you watched Simon stumble to try and grab you, but someone grabbed a tight hold of him and knocked him to the ground heavily. You could feel a large hand wrapping around your jawline and let out a disgusted sound when you smelled the man behind you.

“Ray…this sure looks like the pretty lady we are supposed to be looking for. I think we should have fun with her first,” you felt the edge of a knife pressing in over your jawline and you whimpered out when you felt it slightly breaking the skin. “I’m guessing their group is the one that’s scavenging the city right now. They are early and I didn’t think she would be so damn easy to find…”

“Do what you want, but we have to keep her alive until our man shows up. He should be here soon with…” the original man spoke up and without thinking twice, you reached out to grab a hold of the knife that Simon had given back to you. Using your speed, you turned to stab the man behind you in the gut and heard him groan upon impact. You heard the sound of the shotgun going off followed by the grunting of men behind you.

“Simon?” you called out, watching him fighting off one of the men in the group. Another person grabbed a hold of you and you tried desperately to pull yourself away from them. You brought your foot down, stomping into the foot of the man before feeling him shove you forward.

The motion caused you to fall forward, your head connecting with a large rock that was before you and instantly you could feel an extreme amount of pain filling your body. Looking over your shoulder, you saw the man who had pushed you moving in over you.

“Please…” you could feel the warmth of blood pressing in over your forehead and saw the disgusting smile of the man over you. Trying to push your hand up to keep him off of you as you fought him the best you could. When you thought you were about to lose, you let out a gasp when you saw an axe smash into the side of the man’s head. Blood splattered over your body as you turned your head to see Michael standing at the edge of the area with a few other Saviors who you imagined had just heard the gunshots.

You tried to move your body, but you felt the world around you fading over with black and you could see Simon sliding in beside you. He desperately tried pulling you up, but soon everything around you went completely black.

 

* * *

 

“Where is she?” Negan pushed into the area where Dr. Carson would see his patients. Shoving Michael aside and looking to see that Simon was sitting beside the bed where they had Y/N. Negan tossed Lucille before moving in beside the bed. Simon huffed as Negan dropped to his knees and reached out for her hand holding onto it tightly. “What the hell happened?”

“We went looking for supplies and we were in the woods. We got surrounded by a group,” Simon informed Negan, while he watched Michael stare out at them from the corner of the room. Simon wanted to keep quiet for a moment as they still had Michael there and tried to be as minimal as possible in the details. “She attacked the guy that had a hold of her, giving me the opening to shoot the gun. Michael and Randy came with a group and Michael ended up killing a guy that was trying to attack her and then killing the rest of those attacking us.”

“You saved them?” Negan looked over his shoulder to see Michael nod slowly and Negan sighed heavily. He clutched to Y/N’s hand before nodding slowly. “Thank you. Anything you want…you can have it.”

“No, I’m fine. Thank you. Just the fact that they are safe is good enough for me,” Michael insisted with a sigh and he looked to see Simon giving him an odd expression. Michael stayed a minute longer before leaving the room and Negan gave his attention back to Y/N. Simon limped across the small room to close the door to leave them alone as Negan let out a desperate sound.

“Is she going to be okay?” Negan moved up on his knees to reach out to brush her hair out of her face before caressing his hand over the side of her jawline. “I don’t understand, I asked you to watch her…”

“She has a cut on her ankle that the doctor said was fine. It didn’t need stitches and she just knocked her head pretty good. She’s going to be fine. Her pupils are responding well to light so that means she should be okay,” Simon threw his hands up and he watched the nervousness that spread over Negan’s face. “We need to talk…”

“What?” Negan moved forward to press a soft kiss over Y/N’s temple and Simon moved closer to Negan to keep his voice down. “What is it?”

“When they captured us, the leader of the group said they were looking for a girl that looked like her and that they were waiting for someone to show up before they could do anything,” Simon informed Negan with a deep gulp and he could see Negan’s eyes widening. “I don’t know if that has anything to do with that photo…”

“It’s too fucking convenient Simon, of course it has every fucking thing to do with that photo,” Negan let out an angered breath before looking to Y/N again with a heavy sigh. “This is what I was trying to avoid, this is bullshit Simon! I told you to fucking watch her! This is why I’ve been doing what I’ve been doing. How the fuck did they know that she was going to be there?”

“There is only one thing I can think of,” Simon responded, dragging his tongue out over his bottom lip before nodding slowly making Negan let out a growl of anger. “One of our people had to be telling them we were there. That’s why the photo was in your desk and why…”

“Son of a bitch,” Negan snarled, clutching to Y/N’s hand as he sat beside her on the bed and Simon could see Negan rocking in position that he was in. “I should have never let her out there, I should have protected her myself and…”

“She thinks you fucking hate her…” Simon informed Negan with a firm nod, interrupting Negan from his thoughts and Simon shrugged. “If you felt this way about her, you should have showed her this from the start Negan instead of making her think you hate her.”

“You know I don’t fucking hate her,” Negan snapped, bringing her hand up to his lips to press a soft kiss over the back of it. It was clear that she had kept up to her end of the bargain in not letting anyone know what happened between the two of them over the last few weeks. With Simon lecturing Negan on his attitude toward Y/N, it was clear he didn’t know what had taken place between them. “I did what I did because people want to hurt me. You saw what they’ve done. They came after the person I loved because they knew it would fucking hurt me and you know I’m fucking right. I thought by keeping her away from me that if someone here was fucking with us, that I could protect her. If the fucking rest of The Sanctuary thought I hated her…then she would be fucking safe.”

“First of all, why are you telling me that you love her when you should be telling her this yourself?” Simon let out an annoyed sound and Negan gave Simon a glare before looking to Y/N. “She can stand up for herself, you know that. If you would have told her what was going on instead of going gung-ho with being a total cocksucker, she would have understood and went with the whole thing to keep her safe. She loves you, a fuck ton and you fucking love her too so I suggest when she wakes up, you stop fucking with her. I’m not saying you have to get back with her, but I’m saying stop fucking with her.”

“What’s with the whole telling me what to fucking do here?” Negan snarled and Simon held his hands up, watching Negan lower his head in next to hers as she slept.

“I’m just saying. She’s worth keeping around. She’s a valuable asset. If you don’t get back with her, you should at least get rid of the damn points system for her. It’s stupid and you know that,” Simon stood up from the chair that he was in and moved toward the door. If Simon would have known about their secret romance those few weeks, Simon would have certainly agreed with how Negan was treating her now, but Negan didn’t know who he could trust at this point. “Everyone knows you care about her. Everyone in the fucking Sanctuary. We all know what you did, we all listened to you, but I’m telling you this…we all think things are more fucked up since you did that to her. We all liked you a lot better when you were with her because you actually got shit done. Now you just have a dick up your ass.”

“Watch it Simon,” Negan warned with a hiss and Simon shrugged his shoulders. “If she wasn’t here before me right now, I wouldn’t be extremely happy with what you are saying.”

“No, I get it…” Simon retorted, watching the way that Negan looked down at her again. “I’m just saying, you aren’t fooling anyone. She can take care of herself and she doesn’t need you assuming what’s going to work and what won’t. This may be the only girl that actually accepts that you have multiple wives and accepts that you can still be an asshole, but still loves you. That takes a special person and you are just fucking it all up.”

“What am I supposed to fucking do?” Negan stammered, his voice truly confused as Simon sighed and leaned back against the wall. “This is because of me. You say everyone can still see that I care for her, but what now then? They still came after her when I tried to hide it from the rest of The Sanctuary. What the fuck do I do now? They know I still care and they came after her.”

“Fucking tell her. Fucking protect her and keep her safe. You keep her fucking safe because there is no one in this place better for protecting her than you. If you love her, if you fucking care…then nut the fuck up man,” Simon scoffed heavily and Negan’s eyes narrowed out at Simon before turning to Y/N again. “You love this girl, she’s one tough motherfucker…let her know what’s happening.”

Negan nodded and gulped down heavily, lowering his head in next to hers again as Simon sighed.

“You stay with her and I’ll keep watch,” Simon muttered with a heavy sigh, going to leave until Negan called out to him. “Yeah boss?”

“You aren’t the guy right? The one that led to this,” Negan began and he could see the disgusted look that Simon gave him. “I don’t trust anyone Simon…”

“I almost just died trying to save her. If you didn’t have her first, I would be the one that would take her Negan. I like her, a lot…” Simon headed for the door and shook his head. “And you are my friend. My one fucking friend here, I wouldn’t do that to you…or her.”

Negan nodded before Simon walked out of the room leaving Negan alone with Y/N in the room. Negan stared down at Y/N before carefully moving into the bed beside her. His left arm carefully hooked around her body as he held her close. His right hand caressed over the side of her face while she slept.

“Open those beautiful eyes Y/N,” Negan sighed, tipping in to press his lips softly over her temple. Negan’s voice cracked as he spoke and shook his head slowly. “Fucking please, please…be okay.”

 

* * *

 

A large amount of pressure filled your head as you slowly began to open your eyes. Looking around, everything seemed blurry, but all you could tell was that there were a lot of bright lights surrounding you. Clearing your throat uneasily, you could feel an extreme dryness in your throat and looked up. Your vision slowly started to get better until you looked to see that Negan was sitting in the chair beside your bed. His arm was up and his head was resting against his hand while he was sleeping. His heavy breathing made you let out a small sound. You were confused. Why was Negan there?

Slowly trying to get up, you let out a pained noise and saw Negan’s eyes begin to flutter open. When he saw that you were struggling, he quickly moved forward to try and help you up on the bed. He helped you press your back against the headboard before he moved to the edge of the bed with you. You felt his fingertips brushing into your hair in a very soothing manner and you cleared your throat uneasily.

“Water?” you questioned seeing him nod and get up to move for something. He searched around before finding a bottle of water and bringing it over to you. You watched him open it for you before helping you drink some of it down. “Is…Simon okay?”

“Simon is fine,” Negan assured you with a heavy breath, reaching out to caress over the side of your face. He cupped your jaw in his hand softly before shaking his head slowly. “You’re always getting into fucking trouble.”

“Funny,” you rolled your eyes, reaching up to press your hand over your forehead to let out a wince when you touched the area that you hit on the rock. Negan’s fingertips urged around yours, pulling your fingertips away with the shake of his head. “Those fuckers attacked us out of nowhere. I tried to stop it from happening, but…”

“Simon told me what you did,” Negan acknowledge what you were saying, his fingertips wrapping tighter around yours and you appreciated the warmth of his body around yours. “You kicked some ass. Now you have to fucking rest. Boss’s orders.”

“Did Simon tell you everything?” you gulped down knowing that Simon knew you were trying to leave. You wondered if he told Negan that when you got back and that it was your fault that you got in that situation to begin with.

“Yeah, he told me you guys were out in the woods looking for supplies,” Negan informed you with a heavy sigh and you suddenly felt very thankful that Simon had some kind of bond with you. One that kept him from telling Negan the truth. “I’m so fucking glad you opened your eyes.”

“Why?” you answered with a bit of venom behind your tone as Negan frowned. You could still feel his fingertips holding onto yours tightly and you shook your head. “I’m nothing to you Negan. So why care?”

“Yeah well…you are still one of my people and I don’t want to see my people hurt,” Negan lied, gulping down heavily as he pulled his fingers from yours and got back up to go sit where he was originally. “I have to keep you guys safe.”

“How long have you been sitting there?” you pondered seeing him shrug and you slowly lowered back down in the bed. Negan continued to sit there and watch you as you turned to look at him. “How long?”

“I don’t know,” Negan answered truthfully, knowing that he had been there since he first came to you. He didn’t want to leave your side, worried that something would go wrong or someone would come to hurt you. “A long time.”

“I…I was really mad at you today Negan,” you began, seeing the way that Negan’s jaw clenched while you continued. Negan nodded and tried to get you to stop worrying about it, but your mind was too focused on what happened. How it was your fault for attempting to leave. You had to be honest with Negan. “I was gonna…I was trying to run away. Simon found me and…there was a walker that almost got me before those people showed up. This is all my fault and I’m so sorry…”

“No, no…” Negan hushed you, moving forward to clutch you softly and pull you into his arms, holding you tightly. You thought he would be mad at you for trying to leave, but he clung to you tightly. “All that matters is that you are okay. I understand, I get it. I fucking get it, but all that matters is that you are safe.”

“You should be fucking furious with me for trying to leave,” you let out a tense breath and could see Negan smile when he pulled away. His eyes looked sad that you were upset and thought that he would likely punish you for trying to leave. You were confused. This wasn’t typical for Negan. You’d seen him attack people for less, but here he was, clinging to you like his life depended on it. “I don’t understand Negan, why aren’t you upset?”

“Because I fucking love you and I could have fucking lost you,” Negan declared, cupping your face in his rough hands and he shrugged his shoulders. His jaw clenched and you could hear the cracking of his voice as he spoke up again. The fact that he just told you he loved you made your heart race and you couldn’t believe that you actually heard that. It almost felt like a dream hearing those words coming out of his lips. Trembling sensations pressed in over your hand and you could see that Negan was getting worked up at the idea of you almost dying. His eyes were developing moisture at the corners and you could begin to feel yourself getting choked up just at the sight of him. “I love you and I don’t want anything bad to happen to you. I understand that I hurt you and made things fucking uncomfortable, but please…just rest. I will explain everything to you when you feel better, but I’m fucking begging, you please just get better.”

“Okay…” you agreed to his begging and laid back in the bed. You could feel the dampness at the corners of your eyes. Looking to the bed beside you, you tapped it softly and motioned Negan to get into the bed with you. “Please?”

“Alright,” Negan nodded with a small smile and he carefully got in the bed with you, reaching out to wrap his arm around you softly. Reaching up, you traced your thumb in over the side of his face feeling like you were on top of the world with hearing what he just told you. His eyes never left yours and it seemed like he was afraid of looking away in fear that something bad would happen to you.

“Did you only tell me you loved me because I almost died today?” you snickered, feeling him caressing throughout your hair while his jaw lifted up to rest at the top of your head. You took a moment of silence between the two of you before lifting your head to look up at him. “Because I would totally understand the heat of the moment…”

“No, I fucking said it because I fucking meant it,” Negan blurt out with a heavy breath and he shook his head slowly. “Fuck girl, I love you. I have for a while and I’m pretty sure you know I’m being honest here. Now please, just get some rest so you can get better. I’ll be here when you wake up. I fucking promise.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan opens up to the OC (reader) about what he found previously that caused him to act negatively. The conversation opens up an offer that Negan has and has been asking for quite some time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this with little to no sleep and likely is filled with tons of grammar errors. I'm very sorry for that.

“Why look at you, new Wonder Woman in the works,” Simon teased from where he was sitting on the couch in Negan’s office as Negan carefully helped you over toward the couch. When you sat down, you let out a long breath and felt Simon moving closer to you to sit next to you when were comfortable. Simon’s arm wrapped around you in a friendly manner when you looked up to see Negan sitting on the edge of his desk. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I was hit by truck,” you answered truthfully knowing that Dr. Carson had only just given you the okay to get up and walk around with Negan as long as he let you rest significantly throughout the rest of the day. “But at least I’m alive, right? What about you?”

“I think I’m alive,” Simon winked, reaching up to feel his pulse point in his neck and you reached out to smack him firmly in the center of the chest. The sound of Negan laughing was heard and you lifted your head to meet his stare. “Thanks to you.”

“To me? I’m the one that nearly got us killed,” you blurted out and Simon shifted uncomfortably on the couch with you. You knew that he had kept his promise in not telling Negan that you had tried to run off, but he wasn’t aware that you had already told Negan that yourself. “It’s okay Simon, I told Negan everything.”

“And you don’t want to kill me for not telling you?” Simon looked to Negan whose jaw clenched and it was clear that Negan didn’t find Simon funny. “Hey, I’m just saying. I don’t lie to you and then I do and…”

“I get why you did it,” Negan pointed out with a firm grunt before shifting his weight on the desk. “I also lied to you too because we’ve been back together for quite some time now because I didn’t fucking trust anyone…”

“So when we talked in the truck the other day,” Simon looked to you with a frown, seeing the way you shrugged and Simon let out a long breath. “I am so very confused…”

“I’m in love with her, but you’ve known that for a very long fucking time,” Negan answered Simon and you smirked at the sound of Negan telling Simon that he loved you. You were still getting used to hearing it yourself and when he said it, you could tell that Simon was shocked with it as well. “Which is why I’m going to show her that thing.”

“That thing?” Simon’s brow arched as he looked between you and Negan. Simon gulped and pulled away from you slowly before nodding. “That makes sense.”

“Before we get to that ‘that thing’…” you began with an uneasy breath, thinking back to the group of men that attacked you and Simon. All you could think about was stabbing the man that had you and seeing the other man get killed by Michael. “When I stabbed that guy, did I kill him?”

“The one that had you first?” Simon muttered and you saw the way that he looked down. He shrugged his shoulders and you let out a long breath. “Why are you worried about that? A lot of things were happening at that point in time and a lot of people were killed.”

“I don’t believe in killing people,” you stated firmly and Simon’s brows tensed together when you heard Negan let out an exaggerated breath. “I know that you think my morals are stupid Negan, but I kill zombies, not breathing people. There are always other options.”

“Not in this case sweetheart, it was us or them,” Simon insisted, reaching out to place his hand in over your shoulder to squeeze it softly. “Hun, you could have died. I would have died if you wouldn’t have done it. I know you are a good person, I know you think of doing the right thing all the time, but sometimes you have to put yourself first in this world. This new world is dangerous and you have to protect yourself.”

“I just…” you found yourself at a loss of words, knowing that you were terrified over the fact that you could have actually killed someone. You always gave Negan such a hard time about killing, but you knew that everyone in that group was dead. Likely because of you, but you didn’t know how to react. “What did you want to show me?”

“Right…” Negan eyed you over knowing that you were still upset with yourself, but you were eager to get to a different topic to try and think of something other than you killing someone. “I realize this was all a very stupid thing on my part, but the day we went to Alexandria…we came back to the office. We were talking and this was taped to my desk.”

“What was?” you watched Negan get up from the desk and go into the top drawer to pull out a photo. Negan moved across the room and handed it to you to see that it was a photo of you and Negan together in the halls of The Sanctuary kissing. The photo was clearly taken on a Polaroid and you shrugged your shoulders. “Okay…?”

“Turn it over,” Simon suggested and you flipped it over to see that there was writing on the back of it.

“You took everything that I loved. Now I’m going to do the same,” you read over the message out loud and you felt confused. Looking up at Negan, you watched him reach for the photo and you shrugged your shoulders. “This could have just been someone fucking with you here. That photo is what made you treat me like shit?”

“After what happened, I think I was a little fucking justified…” Negan began and when he caught the glare that both of you gave him, he knew that his words needed to be adjusted. “Okay, I didn’t need to be that mean, but people were seeing how much I fucking cared about you as opposed to everyone else. I figured if I treated you bad, people wouldn’t think that you were the most important thing to me. They would leave you alone and know that you weren’t worth hurting. They were going to fucking hurt you because I loved you…”

“You should have told me this,” you replied and Negan let out a heavy sigh, dropping back down on the edge of his desk. “You have no idea if what happened with Simon had anything to do with this.”

“They said they were there to get someone Y/N. Think about that,” Simon reminded you and you looked between both men. “Y/N, they were meeting someone from our group. Someone from the group ordered them to capture you and that’s why they were there. Negan is right; someone is coming after you to get to him.”

“What the hell do we do?” you muttered and Negan got up to move to the couch, motioning Simon to move aside as he sat beside you to wrap his arm around your shoulders. “So it was one of the people who went on the run with us?”

“It had to be,” Simon insisted, standing up from the couch to stare down at you with Negan. Negan’s fingertips caressed over your shoulder in a supportive manner before he leaned over to press a kiss against your temple. “My vote is on Michael.”

“Why the hell would Michael do this? According to Negan, he is fucking in love with me,” you blurt out and Negan cleared his throat uneasily. You looked to him and could see that his hazel eyes were shifting uncomfortably. “Why would someone who is obsessed with me threaten to kill me? The only people that don’t seem to like me here are Dwight and Sherry.”

“Sherry wouldn’t do that…” Negan began and you turned to look at him with a wrinkle of your nose. “I’m just saying, how the hell would she get out to get a group of fucking guys to come after you? It doesn’t make sense. My wives never leave this place.”

“And I don’t think Dwight would do that,” Simon played out the options in his head before letting out a long sound. “Have you been watching anyone acting weird toward you lately?”

“With the way Negan has been with me? Everyone has been treating me weird lately,” you answered honestly and Negan tensed up beside you. “People don’t know whether to be nice to me or be an asshole to me.”

“Well, now they won’t have a chance to get a hold of you. Where ever I go, you go. You are going to be with me from here on out,” Negan informed you with a heavy breath and you looked to him. Negan’s fingertips brushed in over your jawline as you breathed out heavily. “The best person to protect you is me. I was a fucking idiot to think otherwise. I love you and I’m not going to let anyone hurt you.”

“Neither will I,” Simon promised, folding his arms out in front of his chest. “And I think Negan is making the best decision here. When he’s not with you, you will still be with him in the same place. I will just be with you when he needs to do something dangerous. The only two people I trust with this situation are in this room.”

“And I feel the same,” Negan agreed, leaning forward to press his forehead against yours. “I need to keep you safe. I can’t lose the one thing that I’ve loved since this whole world went to shit.”

“You know…I’ll give you guys some time,” Simon offered up, heading toward the doors as Negan pulled you in close to his chest to hold you closer to him. “If you need me, just holler. I’ll be around.”

“Thanks,” you called out to him before you heard the door closing behind him. You cuddled your head in closer to Negan’s chest, listening to the strong pounding sounds just beneath your ear. “If you don’t mean what you say about loving me and you just feel bad…”

“Doll, I think it’s pretty fucking obvious I mean what I’m saying when I tell you that I love you,” Negan pointed out with a heavy sigh and you could feel him caressing his fingertips through your hair. “I get that I’ve been an asshole. I’ve done things that you will never forgive me for and I understand that. I get it. You have every right to feel that way, but I love you. I’m not fooling myself or anyone else in pretending that I don’t. I was a total cunt to you and they still saw beyond what I was doing. They still came after you.”

“I love you Negan, but I don’t know what to do here,” you sighed heavily knowing that you wanted to be happy and excited that he loved you, but still at the same time you didn’t know how Negan would react with you. “Are you telling me that I’m not allowed to leave The Sanctuary? That I’m only allowed to be with you?”

“That’s not what I’m telling you. I’m telling you that where I go, you go. If I leave, you come with me. That if I’m at The Sanctuary, that’s where you will be. If I’m not able to be with you, you will either be somewhere safe or you will be with Simon,” Negan offered and you could see him staring out at you with a frown. “I’m also telling you that I’m allowing you to see Daryl whenever you want. If you tell me or Simon, we’ll take you to him. As long as he isn’t on job duty and you keep it between the three of us.”

“Really?” you muttered and Negan nodded slowly. “Why?”

“One, I think you are the only person that could get his stubborn ass to start fucking listening,” Negan truthfully replied and you let out a snort knowing that there was a deeper meaning and he sighed when he thought about it further. “And because I know he’s not the one threatening you. He’s your friend. You need someone beyond Simon and me in your life.”

“Okay,” you nodded, feeling him reach out to take his thumb to trace it over your healing lip. “Are you sure about all of this Negan? That’s a lot of work and if you don’t feel the way that you think you do…”

“I know how I feel, I want you safe and there is no other option,” Negan firmly assured you and you felt him moving in to kiss you softly. His lips lingered for a moment as he rubbed his nose up against yours and you chuckled. “Now, I need to get you to bed. You need your rest.”

“Negan!” you yelped feeling him picking you up in his arms and you were quick to wrap your arms around his neck to keep yourself from falling. Negan’s deep laughed filled the air and he had his arms hooked tightly to you. “I feel like I’m being carried home after being married.”

“You want that? To be my wife?” Negan offered and you wrinkled your nose, shaking your head when he sighed heavily. Negan pushed open the door and you could see that some of those that were working had caught sight of Negan carrying you. Most of them looked confused, but you didn’t care and clearly neither did Negan as he carried you toward his bedroom. “I won’t make you wear a black dress and those shoes. We can do it and no one will know. You can just keep being you…you’ll be my special girl.”

“Then I wouldn’t be the mistress anymore,” you responded and he shrugged his shoulders, moving in to press a kiss against your lips before kicking open the parted door of his bedroom. He moved across the room to the bed and laid you down carefully. Negan helped get you comfortable before going back to the door to close it. He started pulling off his leather jacket and then his boots. You watched him closely as he grabbed at the back of his white t-shirt to pull it off and toss it aside. Carefully, he crawled into the bed beside you and cuddled in next to you. “Don’t you have work?”

“Yup, it’s called taking care of you and I’m getting to work right away,” Negan’s lips teased in over the side of your neck and you giggled when you felt his stubble teasing over the side of your neck. His arm hooked around your hips to pull you closer to him and you closed your eyes tightly. “I need to get a good days rest anyways. I work too fucking hard.”

Meeting his lips in a small kiss, you could feel him smiling and you pulled away with a sigh, “Do you think it’s Michael?”

“I honestly don’t know. He was the one that saved you and Simon,” Negan informed you with a small nod and you vaguely remembered Michael showing up at the end of the fight. “I’m not sure, but after everything…”

“Does it make you regret some of the choices that you’ve made?” you whispered and you watched Negan think it over for a long moment before nodding slowly. “That’s all I ever tried to suggest to you Negan…”

“I know that,” Negan admitted before reaching out to slide his palm over the side of your face. He stroked your face tenderly and shook his head slowly. “I’m not kidding about your marrying me. Being the mistress is over rated when I’m in love with you. Simon can marry us in secret. He was ordained just before the shit storm hit and…”

“What?” you laughed out loud, watching Negan nod and shrug. “He did what now?”

“He thought it’d be fucking hilarious to do it. People paid him to do it because they…” Negan snorted and you pulled him forward to kiss him softly over and over again. “Is that a yes?”

“No,” you answered with a sigh and Negan frowned while you reached up to press your fingertips into his thick hair.

“Is that a no?” Negan licked over his bottom lip and you laughed again.

“No,” you snickered and Negan rolled his eyes at you answer. “Why do you want to marry me?”

“Honestly?” Negan’s brow arched and you nodded. “Because if something happens…to either one of us, I know at the end of it all that one of my marriages actually meant something. If I die, then I can die knowing that I had something real at the end of it all and if anything happens to you…I want you to know that I never loved anyone like I loved you. I want to have something real before it is too late…”

“Are you being serious?” you were confused, but didn’t know what to really think as Negan moved in to kiss you again. “It would be a very complicated marriage…”

“What about me hasn’t been complicated?” Negan reminded you and you laughed out again. “I’m serious. I want you to marry me. I promise, of the two situations, I’ll be the one to die. I won’t let anyone hurt you and I promise you that. I will put myself in harm’s way just to make sure that you will be okay.”

Reaching out, you pulled Negan into a tight hug and could feel his head resting against the nook of your neck. You caressed over his scalp and could hear his breathing getting heavier against the side of your neck.

“Yes,” you breathed and Negan pulled back to give you a shocked expression. “If it stays between the two of us and Simon, yes. I’ll marry you.”

“Are you fucking with me?” Negan stammered and you could see his hazel eyes watching you closely. You caressed your hand throughout his thick, dark hair and nodded. “So you are fucking with me?”

“No,” you laughed and could see his brow arching in curiosity. “I’m telling you that yes, I accept your offer. As long as I get to be the same and I don’t have to be the carbon copy of all of your other wives. Ask me again tomorrow, but I’m pretty sure that my answer will still be the same.”

“No fucking lie?” Negan snickered and you pulled him into another kiss. “This is fucking amazing. I never thought you would ever say yes.”

“Don’t keep pushing your luck guy, I might say no if you keep trying to convince me not to marry you,” you teased him and a noise escaped Negan’s throat that you hadn’t quite heard before. You pulled back to look at him and he shrugged his shoulders. “Now cuddle with me before I change my mind, I’m exhausted.”

“Let me just hear you say it one more time,” Negan begged with a stammering in his voice and you groaned uneasily. “You’ll marry me?”

“My answer is going to quickly change if you don’t let me sleep,” you giggled feeling him kissing at your jawline and you reached out to press your hand into the center of his chest. “Yes, I’ll marry you as long as we keep the stipulations that you set.”

“Fucking fantastic,” Negan growled against the side of your neck before pulling his lips up to kiss you quickly. “You have no idea how happy this makes me.”

“I’ll be ecstatic if you let me sleep,” you grumbled feeling Negan poking at your ribs and you let out a small laugh.

“You’ve got it future wife,” Negan grunted, getting comfortable beside you and you could feel him holding you close. “I promise I’m going to take care of you to the best of my abilities. No one is going to fucking hurt you.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon expresses his disdain for the idea of the OC marrying Negan before the OC shares a moment with Negan talking about getting married.

“What are you doing?” Simon’s voice filled the small shop that you were in and you looked over your shoulder to see him standing at the front of the store. When Negan was busy, you had snuck off to try and get some time to yourself and you should have known that Simon wouldn’t be far behind. “Negan would be so fucking mad at me right now if he knew that you took off on me. I’m supposed to be with you while he is leading the run here. You want me to get punished?”

“No, I’m sorry. I just saw this place and…” you looked around the small shop and pushed through the broken glass piles. You were looking for something specific and when you found an area with chained necklaces, you grabbed one that was silver and one that was gold before shoving them into your back pocket. “I’m looking for something.”

“Last time I remember, jewelry doesn’t mean shit anymore. I hate to let you in on this babe, but we’re in the fucking zombie apocalypse,” Simon reminded you with a snort and you let out a small wince when you stood up. After hitting your head, you had a hard time with your balance and some serious pressure in your head. It had only been a few days since it happened and you were trying your best to be as normal as possible. You knew that you were pushing your recovery, but you wanted to do what was best for The Sanctuary. What was best for Negan. Simon seemed frustrated that his joke passed you by, but you were looking for a few specific things and weren’t paying much attention to his commentary. “What are you doing girly?”

“Relax,” you huffed, pinching at the bridge of your nose before heading off in the other direction to push things around. Simon moved through the small jewelry store that was likely picked through toward the beginning of the outbreak. When you stopped at a display that was pushed over, you motioned Simon to come and help you. “Help me lift this.”

“Sure,” Simon moved across the space and lifted the display, revealing a set of rings beneath the display and you let out an excited sound. Simon tossed the display back and you moved forward to look through the men’s rings that were there. When Simon saw you looking through them, he let out a tense noise. “Please tell me you aren’t doing what I think you are.”

“I’m marrying Negan, I need to find something good for him,” you looked through the gold and white gold wedding bands. Glancing up at Simon for a moment, you could tell that he was disgusted, but you ignored his attitude. “I just don’t know what his ring size is or if any of these would even work. I don’t know if he would like a ring to begin with.”

“I still can’t believe that you actually agreed to marry him,” Simon kicked at some of the glass on the ground as you picked up a few rings. Simon sighed heavily while you stood up to lay out the rings on top of the counter that was by the torn apart cash register. “I thought you didn’t want to be one of his wives. You were against that shit. All feminist and what not.”

“I’m not going to wear the black dress and the heels Simon. We came to an agreement. It would be a secret between the two of us,” you informed Simon with a heavy breath. You centered in one two different wedding bands, one that had diamonds in it and one that was a little plain in comparison, but you liked the design on it. “What do you think?”

“I think you are fucking crazy for marrying Negan. He just told you he loved you. He abused the shit out of you and…” Simon heard you let out an annoyed breath and he tossed his hands up in the air. “He still has his wives. You aren’t going to change that. He only just told you that he loved you and you now agree to marry him Y/N. This will not end well. I love Negan, he’s my best friend, but you deserve better. Being married to him will only be a nightmare. I don’t understand why you agreed to this.”

“Almost dying makes you think about things in life Simon. You start to ponder what things could be like, what you want things to be like and you realize the mistakes that you’ve made,” you answered with a heavy sigh, looking over the rings closely. “I realized that Negan is the one person that has ever made me feel alive since everything took place. I love Negan; I have for a long time. He makes me feel special…”

“You are special, you don’t need Negan to feel that way,” Simon reached out to slide his hand in underneath you jawline and he forced you to look up at him. His dark eyes seemed worried and you tried to urge him to release you. “I’m asking you to think about this Y/N. Once you are married to him, you will really be his. You won’t have a choice. He only just told you that he loved you and…I just, he abused you for that time.”

“He wasn’t abusing me,” you stammered and Simon’s brow arched, his eyes searching yours for a long moment. Simon seemed frustrated with your response and you shrugged. “He was just…being a dick.”

“Sweetheart, that’s Negan. That’s not just him being a dick. I’m his best friend and I’m constantly pissing him off and getting my ass handed to me,” Simon tried to urge you to listen to him, but you were still trying to figure out which band you liked better. “Please listen to me, you deserve better.”

“Negan is what I want,” you answered and you reached up to press your hands in over his. It was like he was desperate to get you to change your mind and you weren’t having any of it. “I appreciate you caring, I appreciate you worrying about me Simon, but I’m not going to change my mind. You are a great friend and I understand why you are saying this, but I’ve thought about this. A lot. I want this.”

“Negan owns you now. What happens when you are married to him?” Simon blurted out with a bit of venom in his tone. Simon’s brows arched up and you could tell that he was irritated. “You know the way he acts with you now. What’s gonna happen when you are his secret wife? The one that only I know about? What  then? You really think he is going to be relaxed? You really think that he is gonna treat you good? If you even look at a man wrong…if a man looks at you…”

“Negan is different with me,” you insisted, trying to urge Simon to relax.

“Because he trusts you? Or do you think that because he’s romantic with you? How long do you think that is going to last? Negan got it in his mind that he had to marry you. That you had to be his, this is something that he has stuck in his mind and once it happens…” Simon felt you pulling your face from his grasp and he reached for your jaw again to force you to look at him. “The only thing different about Negan is you. If you weren’t here, he’d still be the same guy. He just acts different around you. He puts up a front…”

“That’s all he needs to do. I know who he is…” you suggested with a shake of your head. “I just need him to be good with me. That’s all…”

“You are so blinded by his charm,” Simon rolled his eyes and let out a heavy sigh.

“So, what? You aren’t going to marry us because you don’t agree with the relationship?” you snapped and Simon rolled his eyes again when you pulled away from his grasp.

“Of course I would do it because I do what Negan fucking tells me to do,” Simon huffed heavily and he reached out to try and pull you to him. “When you marry him, you will have to be the same exact way. You aren’t going to be able to be you. You won’t get to act out; you will have to be what he wants you to be. You will have to…”

“Simon, I know what I’m getting myself into,” you reached up to cup softly at Simon’s face to try and get him to listen to you. “I do. I really appreciate you trying to help me and protect me, but I love Negan. You know that. You know that I love him.”

“Would you still want to be with him if he wasn’t the leader of a massive group of people?” Simon snorted and you lifted your head to shoot him a glare. “I’m just saying, it’s easier to love someone who is struck with power and…”

“That’s not the part of Negan I love and you know that,” you insisted and Simon shrugged before reaching out for one of the rings that you had pushed aside. He slid it in over his finger and you were still looking heavily between the two that you had picked. “Why are you suddenly so against it?”

“I never supported you with Negan,” Simon huffed out and you gave him an awkward glance when you lifted your head to look up at him. “I know that Negan cares about you, but I think you deserve better. Negan has all the women here that are gorgeous, why does he need you too?”

“Simon,” you sighed heavily, watching him jump up to sit on the edge of the wooden counter. You felt his body shift in closer to you and you suddenly felt uncomfortable.

“What’s keeping you from making a decision?” Simon looked over the two rings and shrugged his shoulders. “I’m sure Negan’s fingers are almost my size; check them out on my hand…” 

“I don’t know, I just want something perfect for him,” you reached out to grab a hold of the diamond covered ring, pulling it from Simon’s finger and you could see that his dark, chocolate colored eyes were watching you closely. His chest was rising and falling heavily as he leaned in closer to you. “I think I like the diamond one. It fits…Negan.”

“Right, because he needs the prettiest everything. The things that people desire, but only he can have,” Simon grunted and you avoided answering him. Simon was watching you closely and you suddenly felt twice as uncomfortable. Going to move, you felt him grabbing a tight hold of your wrist and you breathed out heavily. “You deserve better than Negan.”

You felt Simon’s hand caressing up and over the side of your arm, making you gulp down heavily. When his right hand reached up to press in over the side of your face, you could feel him pressing in closer to you and when he was aiming to kiss you, you turned your head and felt his lips pressing in over your cheek.

“And you think you are better?” you whispered, pulling away enough to see the upset look that pressed in over his features and you shook your head. “You are my one friend here Simon, please don’t make this weird. I love you, but not like that.”

“I just want what’s best for you and I just don’t think it is marrying Negan,” Simon answered with a heavy sigh and you could feel your cheeks blushing over when you felt Simon’s rough fingertips pressing in over your jawline to caress over it. “He wants to keep you safe and in my opinion, marrying you just puts more of you in the limelight. He’s putting you in danger. Both from his enemies and his dark side. I don’t trust Negan with you and that worries me.”

“Well if you care about me,” you raised your hand to press in over his to get him to lower his hand from your face and you squeezed his hand in yours. “Then you are just going to have to trust me and realize I know what I’m doing.”

“I don’t really think you do,” Simon hopped down from the counter and moved toward the front of the store to see Negan talking with a group of people. Simon looked over his shoulder at you as you grabbed the diamond encrusted ring and shoved it into your pocket. “Negan will never realize how lucky he is to have you. I hope you know that.”

And with that final statement, Simon walked outside and you followed him back toward the truck. Now was the first time that you could truly see that Simon cared about your more than you thought. Just like Negan had said and while you appreciated his concern, this was just something you had to do because it felt right. Simon thought he had feelings for you, but in the end you knew that there was nothing really there. It was just an infatuation and you wished that Simon would be able to see that soon.

* * *

 

“Hey baby,” you walked into your room to see Negan sitting on the couch pinching the bridge of his nose while he sat there. Closing the door behind you, you clung to the pills that Doctor Carson had given you when you dropped by to see him about the dizziness that you still were feeling. Hiding the pills from Negan, you moved across the room and put the pills inside of your bag that was beside your bed. You didn’t want Negan worrying about you more than he was already, so you just wanted to avoid getting into the fact that you still felt like you were going to pass out with him. Doctor Carson still felt like you were pushing yourself too hard too fast, but you didn’t want to stress it too much to Negan. You were worse off than you thought, but it was nothing deadly. Moving across the room, you slid your hands in over Negan’s tense shoulders and heard him let out a long breath. “You doing okay?”

“Just a long fucking day,” Negan answered with a heavy sigh and you could see that he was still hunched forward on the couch. “What about you? How are you feeling?”

“Oh, I’m fine,” you lied, leaning down to hook your arms around Negan’s shoulders to hug him. You felt him reach up to wrap his hand around your arm to hug you back before you released him and moved around the couch. “What’s going on baby?”

“Nothing you need to worry about,” Negan answered with a bright smile as you stood before him. Negan leaned forward to wrap his arms loosely around your waist and he rest his head against your lower abdomen. Your fingers traced through his dark hair and you could feel him nestling his face against your abdomen. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you whispered, thinking about your interaction that you had with Simon today in the jewelry store. You cleared your throat uneasily as you caressed over the base of Negan’s neck and you wanted to bring up the conversation so badly, but at the same time you didn’t want to get Simon in trouble. “You know that I love you for you, right? Not because you are the leader of The Saviors, right?”

“What?” Negan snorted, tipping his head back, his nose wrinkling as he looked up at you with his hazel eyes. He seemed amused with your question and you shrugged your shoulders. “If anything, you hate the fact that I’m the leader of The Saviors. Why the hell would I think that?”

“Simon just asked me today if I would still love you if you weren’t the leader,” you informed him with a half-truth and Negan groaned outwardly. His arms hooked around your waist, pulling you in over his lap carefully as you lowered down in over him. Reaching out to caress your fingertips over his stubble covered face, you took in his masculine features and knew that you didn’t regret wanting to marry Negan.

“It’s his job to look out for my best,” Negan answered you and you let out a long sigh. If only he knew that it was you that Simon was looking out for and not Negan. Negan’s hands slid up and over your hips, squeezing them softly as he shrugged his shoulders. “Ignore his shitty comments. I love you and that’s all that fucking matters. Onto a better subject, when are you gonna marry my ass?”

“I thought that was your decision,” you reached out to brush your hands throughout his messy hair and you heard him let out a long sigh. He bit into his bottom lip and you felt his hands sliding out in over your bottom to give it a firm squeeze. A small gasp fell from your lips as you felt him massaging over the sensitive flesh again and again. “You said it had to be the perfect moment…”

“Shit…it does,” Negan groaned out, tipping his head back and letting out a small growl. “You’re not gonna change your mind last fucking minute, are you?”

“Why would I do that?” you muttered with an uneven breath when you tipped forward to brush your lips over the pulse point over his neck, kissing over his skin over and over again. You nipped softly at the flesh and heard his moan fill the air. Pulling back, you reached your hands down for his belt only to feel his hands grabbing a tight hold of your wrists to stop you. “What are you doing?”

“You need your rest, this is too soon,” Negan answered with a heavy sigh and you frowned when Negan pulled your wrist up to his lips to press a small kiss over the pulse point. “I don’t want you worse off because of my fucking ass…”

“I won’t be worse off, I might actually get better. Doctor Negan might actually have the right medicine to make me feel better,” you slurred, moving forward to meet Negan in a kiss and you could feel him groaning against your mouth when your hands quickly pulled apart the belt. The flick of his tongue was felt against yours and it made you breathe in harshly while he fought for dominance in the kiss. Negan reached up and grabbed a tight hold of your neck making you let out an uncomfortable sound. You were still sore from when you and Simon were attacked, but when Negan realized it, he quickly pulled his hand from you neck with an upset expression.

“Shit, I am so fucking sorry,” Negan apologized, reaching up to cup at your jawline when he realized that you might still be sore. Negan seemed genuinely worried as you shook your head and moved forward to kiss him again. “Baby, I don’t want to hurt you…”

“It’s okay,” you hushed, finally getting his pants open and reached beneath the material to grab a soft hold of his partially hardened body. You caressed over it slowly, taking the time to watch his expressions as you touched him. His body was warming up nicely to your touch, but you could tell by the look in his eyes that he was still nervous about the idea of you being hurt. “I think I know my own body.”

“Even so,” Negan grunted out when you began to quickly caress over his body and his head dropped back against the couch. Small moans escaped deep from within his throat and you lowered in closer to him to nip at the flesh near his Adam’s apple before sliding your tongue out over the rough skin. “You aren’t really playing fucking fair here.”

“It’s almost like I’m getting more of your personality the more time I spend with you,” you teased with a laugh when Negan lifted his head up and gave you a small glare. You shrugged only to feel him swiftly moving you from his lap as he picked you up and carried you over to the bed. When he dropped you carefully on top of it, you could feel him poking and tickling over your sides.

“You think you’re fucking hilarious, don’t you?” Negan snorted when your laughter filled the air and you felt his fingers searching out the parts of you that would make you laugh. “Oh ha ha. You are so fucking funny.”

“I give, I give up,” you giggled, reaching up to press your hands in over the center of his chest to get him to back up, but his tickling continued. After a moment, his tickling stopped and he stared down at you differently with his hazel eyes. He leaned forward and rest his forehead against yours, his breathing heavy while he reached up with his left hand to caress up and over the side of your face. “Negan?”

“I really do love you, you know that right?” Negan was very serious in the way that he spoke and you could see his brow line tensing up when he ran his hand over the side of your hip to feel something hard beneath his touch. When Negan backed away, you let out a tight breath and realized it was the wedding band that you had picked out. “What the hell is that?”

“Nothing,” you quickly sat up on the bed and felt Negan pulling you back to him. You pushed your hands into the center of his chest to try and keep him from getting closer to you. “Negan, it’s nothing.”

“Then why are you hiding it?” Negan retorted with a small laugh himself, finally getting his fingers into your pocket enough to pull out the band and he gave you a confused look once he saw it. “The fuck is this?”

“On the run today I saw a jewelry shop and I figured that I might need to get you something if we get married,” you saw him eyeing over the band closely and you could feel your heartrate getting faster. You couldn’t tell if he was irritated with the idea of if he was just studying the ring closely. “I know you don’t wear a ring with your wives because that would be ridiculous, so I grabbed one of the chains and figured if you wanted to…”

Negan’s eyes lifted to meet yours as you pulled the two chained necklaces out from your back pocket. You held them out, watching Negan grabbing them in his large fingers to look them over. He was still quiet and you didn’t know how he was taking it.

“I just wanted to give you something special if we really went through with it, you know?” you muttered with an unsure tone as Negan set aside the gold chain and opened up the silver one to slide the white gold diamond encrusted wedding band over it. His right brow arched up as he looked it over and then looked back to you. “I know I’m not special compared to the others and you don’t have to wear that at all, I just…I don’t know…”

“You are so fucking wrong,” Negan huffed with a heavy sigh, setting the ring down on the bed beside the both of you. He slowly pulled off his leather jacket and tossed it aside before reaching for his white t-shirt to pull it over his head. Your hands reached up to caress over his lower abdomen and up toward his chest to play with the coarse hair slowly. The sight of Negan above you, shirtless and staring down at you with a seductive look in his mischievous eyes was something that you never wanted to forget. You felt entirely lucky to have this man in your life. Negan urged you up from the bed and grabbed a tight hold of the material of your shirt to pull it from your body before tossing it aside. Your mouth met his lips in a quick kiss as you tugged softly at his dark hair. “You are special compared to the others. I fucking love you, how many times do you have to hear that before you start fucking believing it?”

“So you liked the ring then?” you muttered feeling his fingertips tracing small lines over your abdomen before reaching for your pants to open them up slowly. A wicked smirk pressed in over Negan’s lips as he let out a small laugh. “Negan?”

“What?” Negan chuckled when he lowered the material of your pants down your legs, taking your panties along with the movement. Watching him pull off the material, you could feel your cheeks flushing over when he stood and pushed his pants down his legs and stepped out of them. When you gave him a glare as he crawled back over you, you could hear him laugh deeply and nod. “Yeah, I like the ring, but it would be bad luck to wear it before I marry you. I picked the chain to put it on, was that not a good enough fucking sign that I liked it?”

“You were being silent, so I kind of figured the worst,” you felt his lips hammering in over yours, again and again before lowering his kisses down the side of your neck. A small moan escaped your lips when you felt Negan reaching around you to try and fumble with the clip in your bra, but failed to get it off of you and a growl followed. Lifting up from the bed, you helped him get the material from your body before he angrily tossed it aside and dropped his head down to press his lips in over the swell of your breast. “Negan…”

“You know, I’m pretty fucking hungry and the only time I’ve actually gotten to taste you was that first time that you tied me up,” Negan informed you, pinning you carefully down against the bed while his tongue twisted and twirled around your nipple. When he gently bit at the skin, your back arched up toward him and made him grunt against your skin. Negan’s hands slid up to grab a hold of your wrists to pin them down against the bed and you could feel your heart begin to hammer inside of your chest. “Would you like that? Daddy making you feel good with his fucking mouth?”

“You have a serious daddy kink, you know that?” you saw the smile that cracked in over his lips and you tipped up to kiss him, but he denied you of that when he pinned you harder against the bed. “Yes, I’d like that daddy…”

“I thought you would,” Negan retorted with a wide smile, lowering his head to finally allow you to kiss over his rough lips. Negan’s tongue teased between your parted lips and you could feel his hardened erection pressing in over your inner thigh. “The daddy thing turns you on too. I’ve seen it. You want to pretend you aren’t into kinky shit, but I can see that you are…”

“If anyone else said it to me and it wasn’t you…I’d kick their ass,” you slurred against his lips, hearing the deep laugh that followed before his lips began to trail down your neck, over your collarbone and teased over your breast. Negan’s hand grabbed a tight hold of your thighs and pulled them apart swiftly before pulling you closer to him on the center of the bed.

“Shit…I guess it’s good that I am who I am then, huh?” Negan teased with a wiggle of his thick brow before reaching down with his right hand to caress over his straining erection. Your throat went dry while you looked over his lean body and took in the sights of him. “You have no idea how fucking hard it is for me not to fuck you right now. I haven’t had sex since the last time we were together…”

“You? Wow…that’s surprising,” you mocked him and watched him release a hold of his body before lowering down between your legs. His hands pressed against the inside of your thighs and you looked down to see him licking over his lips.

“You have the prettiest little pussy I’ve ever seen,” Negan groaned as you felt him reach up to trace his fingertips over your wet slit. You dropped your head back when you felt his rough fingertips caressing small circles around your clitoris. Your hips arched up toward his caress and a deep laugh fell from his lips. “So fucking sensitive…”

Your eyes closed when his fingertips went back to tracing over your damp heat. One of Negan’s fingertips twirled around your opening before softly pushing into it making you let out a small sigh. The soft, wet caress of his lips was felt against the side of your inner thigh and it felt amazing in comparison to the thrusting his finger made inside of you.

“You are so wet already baby,” Negan’s rough stubble pressed in over your skin and it caused you to arch up in closer to him. Negan’s finger pushed back and forth slowly inside of you, taking his time to draw out the sensations inside of you. “Are you still going to enjoy fucking me when you are married to me?”

“Shouldn’t I be the one asking something like that?” you gasped out when you felt the warmth of Negan’s tongue tracing over your slit before teasing and circling around your clitoris. You gasped heavily when he suctioned his lips softly around the small bud, teasing the sensitive flesh over and over again. The flicking of his tongue was causing you to arch up toward him, but he used his free hand to keep you down firmly on the bed. “Negan…”

“Mmmm, you taste so fucking good,” Negan slurred with a heavy groan when he pulled away to lick his lips before moving in again to tease his tongue over the small bundle of nerves. Your body shook against his motions and the sounds his mouth was making against your body was driving you crazy. “That’s it baby, moan for me…”

“Negan,” you whimpered out, sliding your hand down into his dark hair to tug softly at it. His moans and groans were heard against your body as he varied between kissing, sucking and flicking his tongue over the sensitive flesh while his finger continued to push back and forth inside of you. “God…”

“You are just so fucking soaked baby,” Negan pulled his finger from your body and his hands slid in under your thighs to lift your hips up closer to him. His tongue teased and flicked up and down your folds before circling around your opening. A heavy cry fell from your lips when his tongue pushed into your tight hole. Negan let out small moans against your body when he pulled away with slurp. “God, I’m so fucking hard…”

Lifting your head, you could see Negan’s eyes fluttering to a close when his lips sucked over your clitoris, teasing it again and again with his sucking motions. After a moment he pulled back, sliding his tongue back over your core to force his tongue into your warmth again.

“Are you going to cum for me baby?” Negan muttered pushing two of his fingers back inside of you, curling them up to hit that special place that he had learned worked oh so well with you. Negan’s fingers started to plunge forcefully inside of you while his tongue flicked wildly over your body. You reached down to lace your fingertips tightly into Negan’s hair and felt his soft moans against your skin. The vibrations caused a jolt to fill your body as you began to rock your hips against him. Your body contracted around his fingers and it felt like the room was starting to spin around you. The strokes of his tongue were stronger over you when he took notice of your orgasm quickly approaching. Your body trembled and shook against him as you felt your toes curling along with your body tensing up. Your cries and soft moans filled the air as you called out his name again and again. The soft caress of his tongue continued for a few more minutes before pulling away and getting up on his knees. He wiped at his face, caressing over the stubble before that bright and cocky smile pressed over his lips. “I need to do that more often. You taste so fucking good.”

Lifting your head up, you could see Negan palming over his pulsating erection as his hips rocked into his caress before he moved in over you. The bed creaked with his movement as his weight moved in over you and you felt him reaching down to caress the tip of his cock over your soaked slit. Negan’s brow clenched together before he pushed his body forward into yours causing you both to elicit a moan.

“Shit…” Negan grunted against the side of your neck as he lowered his head to the side of your neck. His nose nestled against the side of your neck and you could hear him breathing heavily as his hips started to slowly thrust back and forth inside of you. “Fuck, I’m not gonna last long tonight…”

Your arms instinctively wrapped around his shoulders while his mouth pressed in over yours, kissing you again and again while his hips bucked up against your time after time. It was obvious that he was holding back since he was still nervous with you being hurt, but you enjoyed Negan going easy on you. It was a nice change from what you were used to with him.

“I love you so fucking much,” Negan muttered against your skin and you reached out to desperately kiss him again. The more he said it, the more you fell for him. You loved hearing him saying those words while his heavy breaths pressed against your lips while his hips continued to thrust against you time and time again. Your legs wrapped around his waist, urging him deeper within you and a desperate moan fell from his lips. “Baby…I’m gonna cum, I’m not gonna last.”

“It’s okay,” you urged him, feeling his hips bucking up harder and harder into you. His pubic bone smacking up against you sent vibrations to fill your body and it caused you to cry out. The friction was doing wonders to your body as you felt your body clenching around him again when you reached another release. You were panting and your heart was pounding inside of your chest as Negan’s movement became more drawn out. Heavy groans fell from his lips and you could see the veins bulging in his neck as you reached out to tug firmly at his messy hair. A smirk pressed in over your lips as Negan’s eyes met yours and you nodded. “Cum inside me daddy…”

“Fuck princess…” Negan hissed out at your dirty talk and the sensation of his body tensing up over you was felt. Your fingers laced tighter into his hair while his thick moans and groans filled the air. Negan’s head tipped back as you could feel his movements slowing down and felt the warmth of his release inside of you. His heavy breaths were felt against the side of your neck while your nails bit into his shoulders. After finishing, Negan fell in over you and you caressed over his sweaty shoulders. His heavy breaths were felt against the side of your neck while you caressed your fingertips through his damp hair. “You always feel so fucking good.”

Tugging on his hair, you pulled him into another kiss as he pulled his body from yours and laid in beside you on the bed. His fingertips traced over your abdomen, drawing small circles over your skin as your breathing had slowed.

“You still sure about this marrying me thing?” Negan finally spoke up with a heavy sigh and when you nodded, you could see the bright smile that pressed in over his features. “So what are some things that you need on your wedding day. Within fucking reason of course. Do you want a dress?”

“If you want that. As long as it’s not black,” you answered with a small laugh and a wrinkle of your nose. Negan rolled his eyes and let out a small laugh himself before reaching up to brush his fingertips in over your jaw. He pressed in to kiss you and you caressed over his rough stubble covered jaw. “It’d be nice to see you in something other than a leather jacket.”

“I don’t know how lucky you are going to be with that,” Negan answered with a snort, before sighing heavily. “Anything else?”

“All I need is you there and I’m happy. I’m not picky,” you truthfully responded and saw him nod before biting into his bottom lip. You reached for the ring that you had picked out for him and Negan eyed it over carefully. “And you will really wear this?”

“Every fucking day I’m alive,” Negan nodded, his hazel eyes watching you closely. “As long as my heart still beats, that will be around my neck. I promise.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan decides to surprise the OC (reader) with getting married and Simon is still very against the idea of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written a while ago and I just read it over very, very tired. So there may be some serious mistakes in it. Thanks for reading! :D

“Are you ready?” Simon stood at your door, pushing it open to see you standing in front of the mirror looking over the dress that Simon had brought you earlier in the day. When he told you that Negan was asking to do the ‘ceremony’ then and there, you found yourself nervous. You didn’t actually think it was something that you would be worried about. Especially with how things were nowadays, but with the lack of preparation of a wedding, you actually found yourself scared out of your mind. You reached for the wedding band on the chain that you had for Negan and turned to Simon. He looked over your closely, his dark eyes finally lifting to meet yours when he cleared his throat uneasily. “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you,” you responded, fanning your hand out in front of your face. You were shaking uncontrollably. You never thought that you would ever get married, especially now, but you were going through with it. You promised to yourself that you would never fall for someone, that you would never hurt yourself or allow yourself to be hurt, but you couldn’t help the way you felt for Negan. You loved him and you desperately wanted this.

“Negan of course picked out the best dress for you. Not exactly a wedding dress, but it’s white and it’s beautiful,” Simon insisted, reaching up to rub at the back of his neck. A tense noise fell from his lips and he shrugged. “I didn’t realize this would all be happening so fast.”

“I didn’t think it would either,” you agreed, following him out into the hallways of The Sanctuary. It was late at night and you were surprised that Negan wanted to be doing this so late, but you weren’t going to tell him no. You thought you would have more specifics on what you wanted for a wedding, but you were surprised at how little it actually bothered you that Negan made all the plans. Simon was quiet and you could tell that he was still heavily against this whole thing, but you didn’t know how to respond to it. Multiple times Simon had stressed that Negan wasn’t good for you. That you deserved better and you knew that the last thing he wanted to be doing was marrying you off to Negan. There was the part of you that thought this may be cruel to do to Simon. Simon liked you and you knew that. Hell, Negan even knew that. The fact that this marriage was something that was staying between the three of you was something big in your eyes; you knew that Simon had to feel off about the whole thing. Simon avoided looking at you on the walk. There was something he was saying to himself under his breath and you wished that you could set him at ease. Tell him that everything would be alright, but you knew that it wouldn’t do much good for him in the end. “Thanks for doing this Simon.”

“You know that you can always turn back on this. You don’t have to marry him,” Simon suggested and you gave him a look that he knew meant you weren’t changing your mind. You wished that he wasn’t so insistent upon it. It felt like it was bad luck to have the guy that was supposed to be marrying you off to Negan not support it. Simon stopped in the hallway and turned to look at you. His face tensed, his jaw dropping as he let out an aggravated sound. It was clear he wanted to say so much to you, but knew that he shouldn’t. “Alright, but you still have a bit of walk to decide.”

“Let me ask you something,” you began, seeing Simon’s eyes glancing your way. You knew that Simon would tell you almost anything to make you not marry Negan at this point, but you were trying to get him to see the good in what you saw in Negan when he was with you. “Did Negan do anything special for the other women in his life?”

“Not really. They pretty much just got a pair of shoes and a black dress thrown at them and they were married. They put the dress on, Negan set claim to them and it was like a thank you ma’am body slam and hey…you belong to fucking Negan,” Simon answered with a snort, putting emphasis on the certain things that he clearly didn’t agree with in Negan’s choices. “Doesn’t that turn you off Y/N? The fact that he is still married to all those girls? That you are number six?”

“I’m not going to change my mind Simon,” you restated with a small sigh knowing that Simon was heavily against this whole thing, but it wasn’t about to change your mind. “I know who Negan is Simon. I’ve been here to see the worst of him, but I’ve seen the best of him too. I wouldn’t have agreed to this if I didn’t know what I was getting myself into.”

“I’d totally support that, if I didn’t disagree with you,” Simon grunted, his voice deep and his tone sounding irritated. “You don’t know what you are getting yourself into. At all.”

“Then I will just have to deal with my decision then,” you declared and Simon’s features and expressions showed you that he didn’t agree with your choice. Your head motioned Simon to keep moving and Simon let out a heavy breath before moving down the hallway toward the door to the outside. When you stepped outside and felt cool night air hit you, your body trembled. You followed Simon through the field toward the trees and found yourself a bit nervous that you were headed off in an area you barely went. “Where are we going?”

“This way,” Simon retorted almost sarcastically and you were somewhat shocked with how much light the moon was providing for the two of you as you walked along the path. It was very bright out even amongst the night sky and it was very beautiful. When you got to the point of where you were nearing the edge of the woods and getting close to the edge of the hill, a few fires were lit to help light up the darkened area. Stopping, you could see that at the edge of the woods was Negan looking down at the water below. Your legs trembled and you couldn’t actually believe that you were going to marry Negan tonight. Simon threw up his hands in an aggravated manner before nodding toward Negan. “There he is…”

Negan looked over his shoulder, his hazel eyes meeting yours and a bright smile pressed in over his lips. Negan turned to face you and it was the first time you got a look at him wearing black slacks, a white button down shirt and a black dress coat. You moved forward to press your hands in over his chest and tipped up to kiss him lovingly. Negan made a satisfied sound and you could feel him smiling amongst the kiss.

“This is the best I could do with this fucking monkey suit,” Negan informed you with a long sigh and you reached up to caress over the side of his face. You hadn’t seen him at all today except for the morning when he had to leave. It was amazing how well he cleaned up and how handsome he looked. Even though you always thought he looked great, there was just something about the way he was dressed up that you loved. Maybe it was the fact that he did it just for you and you alone. You never thought in a million years that he would dress up for you. “You look beautiful.”

“Thank you kind sir, you look rather handsome yourself,” you teased watching his nose wrinkle and you looked over the side of the hill to see the water splashing up against the rocks down below. There was a campfire that was lit not far in the distance and you were impressed with what he had set up. “I have to say I’m impressed. You picked a night where the moonlight was shining bright; right off the water…this is quite romantic Negan.”

“Romantic and Negan, not exactly two words that I would put together,” Simon blurted out with a heavy groan as he moved around the two of you, his back facing the water. Negan lifted his head and shot Simon a glare before Simon threw his hands up in the air. Negan seemed irritated that Simon was throwing negativity into a perfectly good moment. “Are we going to do this?”

Negan avoided getting angry at the moment as Simon motioned you two to face each other. Negan’s hands reached out for yours and you could feel his thumbs caressing over the back of your hands. The caress was soothing and the way Negan was looking at you wasn’t quite something you had ever seen from him. It was a sweet and longing stare and his smile seemed to calm your nerves. He looked so handsome and so happy that it was hard to be scared to do this.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here on this beautiful day to witness the union of Y/N and Negan in holy matrimony,” Simon somewhat plowed through his lines and you were shocked that Simon actually knew what he was doing. Negan wasn’t kidding when he told you that he had gotten ordained before the zombie apocalypse took place. “This is a day of great celebration and reverence, on which we come together before God…”

Negan cleared his throat uneasily when Simon mentioned God and Simon huffed heavily, “Would you like me to skip over that bit? Alright let’s see…we’re here to celebrate the dedication of love between these two people. It’s a love unlike any other love ever seen…”

“Simon,” Negan could sense the sarcasm in his right hand man’s voice and Negan’s eyebrow arched up. “Enough with the smart ass attitude…”

“We’re thankful to have friends and family here to celebrate with us,” Simon gestured beyond the two of you and you could see that Negan’s jaw was clenching. Simon caught the glare that Negan shot him and Simon sighed heavily. Simon was making a joke out of everything and Negan clearly wanted this whole thing to be serious. “After having a long relationship spent with many ups and downs, Negan and Y/N decided that it was time to bind their relationship together. Who here gives away the bride?”

“Damn it Simon, I wanted to make this special. Not a fucking comedy skit,” Negan grunted, clearly getting sick of Simon making a mockery out of some of the lines that would typically be said at the wedding. You knew why Simon was doing this. It was clear as day to you, but you weren’t about to call him out on it. Negan shot you an apologetic look, but it didn’t matter to you. Negan had set up this beautiful night and plan for you tonight and that’s all that honestly mattered to you. “Would you just get to it?”

“If there is anyone in attendance who has cause to believe that this couple should not be joined in marriage, you may speak now or forever hold your peace,” Simon began and you felt Negan letting go of your hands to turn to face Simon. Simon cleared his throat uneasily and Negan tilted his head to the side. “Hey boss…”

“Are you looking to get fucking smacked? I will fucking smack you right now, is that what you want?” Negan questioned and Simon stood up straighter, his amused look turning very serious. Simon glanced over at you and you could see him gulping down heavily. It was clear that he was seriously irritating Negan and you didn’t know if that was truly his intentions or not, but he was really get Negan mad. “I’m not afraid to shove you off this fucking hill into the water down below…is that what you want?”

“No sir, I would very much like to stay up here…dry,” Simon looked to you with a heavy breath and you felt your cheeks blushing over with red. Negan turned back to you and took your hands in his, caressing his fingertips over the back of your hand again. “Marriage is a blessing. Especially now. It’s something that not everyone gets to experience and those that do need to cherish it. Now as the two of your embark on this journey together, you will be able to nurture each other’s love with the time that you will have together.”

“I never realized how long this shit was,” Negan chuckled, giving Simon a sideways glance and you chuckled. Simon stopped talking; giving you both a glare and Negan shrugged his shoulders. “Shit, sorry…”

“Fuck it,” Simon stood there for a moment, clearly fast forwarding the speech that he had inside of his head. “You both I imagine have vows that you would like to give each other before getting married and what not. So yeah…Y/N, you can go first.”

“Oh, right…” you cleared your throat uneasily. This wasn’t something that you had at all planned, this was so last minute and rushed that you knew that you just had to wing it at this point. Looking to Negan, you could see his dimples sucking in as he smirked when you cleared your throat uneasily. “Negan, it’s been a long time since I’ve felt…anything for anyone. When I lost my family and my friends, when I was alone, I never thought I would ever care for someone again. Then you came into my life and…I know we’ve had our ups and down, but I just…you are everything to me. I would be lost without and I’m glad that the world brought us together. I was afraid of opening myself up to loving and caring for someone, but you make me not afraid. No matter how messed up it was, you are the man of my dreams and I love you. I’m always going to love you.”

“I love you too sweetheart,” Negan pulled your hand up to his lips to kiss over the back of it and Simon sighed heavily.

“Thanks for sharing that,” Simon’s eyes caught yours for a moment and you felt a bit uncomfortable as you shifted and looked to Negan. “Alright Negan, would you please give your special vows to Y/N?”

“Y/N, I know I’m not the man that you deserve. I know I’m rough around the edges and I’ve done things that have hurt you, but there is one thing that I know and that’s I need you in my life. I love you; I’ve loved you for a long time. You are the first person that made me feel something again in my life. I never thought that would be possible. You make me want to be a better version of myself, you make me want to be something I know I’ve never fucking been. I love you,” Negan whispered, reaching up with his right hand to caress over the side of your face. “I want your face to be the first thing I see every morning I wake up and I want it to be the last thing I see every night before I sleep. You are the first person that I’ve trusted in a long time, the one person that I know I can count on. I will never and could never love someone as I love you. Fuck, if I weren’t marrying you right now, I’d kick my own ass for sounding like such a pussy…”

You laughed at his words and could see that Simon rolled his eyes, but lucky enough for him Negan had missed it, but you didn’t.

“Fantastic. Now, Y/N, do you take Negan to be your husband? By agreeing to this commitment, you are entering something that is sacred. Something that you cannot get out of,” Simon seemed to put emphasis on certain words as if trying to get you to still change your mind about Negan.

“I do,” you answered, feeling Negan’s hands squeezing around yours tightly.

“Negan, do you take Y/N to be your wife?” Simon sighed and Negan nodded slowly. “Do you promise to honor her and love her? To be sensitive to her needs, to comfort her and to put your full and complete trust into her as both…”

“I do,” Negan cut off Simon who seemed to be going onto a ramble and Simon huffed heavily. “I fucking do.”

“Very well then,” Simon snorted, looking around for something on the ground. He looked for a small paper bag that they had sitting on the ground. “Negan asked for something like this and this was the best I could do in such a short time.”

Simon pulled out a candle and a few sparklers. Your nose wrinkled as you watched Simon place the sparklers in his mouth to hold them while he reached for something in his pocket. He pulled out a lighter and held onto the candle to the best of his ability. Simon managed to light the two sparklers and handed it to the two of you.

“This candle represents the mending of your souls. Please light this together so that you can together create a flame for this candle and please be quick because those are the only sparklers I have,” Simon urged the two of you to grab it and try to light the candle with the sparklers. When it lit, Simon let out a thankful breath as he held onto the candle. “Your flames formed together as one, simulating…shit, I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to say here Negan. I get the candle is supposed to be romantic and shit, but I never did something like this before, I only did this to begin with years ago because my buddy was cheap and I’d easily take the money because…”

“Simon!” Negan snorted again and Simon shrugged his shoulders, setting the candle down on the ground before motioning you and Negan closer together.

“You may now exchange rings,” Simon swirled his finger around in the air as you reached for the chain that you had given Simon on your way here. Simon muttered the lines for you to repeat after him as you watched Negan lean forward to let you put the chain around his neck. The wedding band rest against the center of his chest as you smiled.

“I give you this ring as a symbol of my love. With this ring, I thee wed,” you smiled knowing you missed some lines, but Negan was smiling and happy. That’s all that honestly mattered.

“Alright, since that’s the only ring…” Simon began only to see Negan motion him to wait and you saw Negan reaching into his pants to pull out a ring and you felt your heart rate quicken. “The fuck?”

“I know, this was my mother’s ring and I never thought…I didn’t even know why I kept it,” Negan began with a long breath and you eyed over the ring that was hanging from a golden necklace. You knew that you had given him the necklace because you wanted to hide being married to him and clearly he knew that’s what you wanted so he did the same. “She wanted me to give it to someone I loved and I never…I never gave it to anyone because I just…didn’t, but with this ring, it symbolizes my love for you and…I know it’s nothing spectacular, but…”

“It’s beautiful,” you muttered when Negan lowered the necklace around your neck and you could feel your heart rate quickening. You never thought in a million years that Negan would be giving you a wedding ring today. Tipping forward, you kissed him and felt him clinging tightly to you. “I love you so much.”

“Hey, we aren’t at that part yet,” Simon moved forward to press his hands into the center of your chests, to push you away from each other. “I now pronounce you man and wife, now you can kiss the bride.”

“Thank fucking God, that took forever,” Negan snorted, moving forward to curl his hand around the back of your neck, urging you to meet his lips in a kiss and you clung to him like you would never let go. Simon moved around the two of you and toward the campfire when you heard the loud sound of a bottle popping open.

“Time for the booze because I fucking need it,” Simon dropped down on the ground and Negan reached out to pull you closer to him. Simon was sulking and you knew it, but you weren’t about to let it ruin your day. You had the best possible marriage to Negan that you could have and it felt absolutely amazing. “Congrats, don’t mind me.”

“I’m not,” Negan muttered against your lips as he kissed you over and over again. “Fuck, I love you.”

“I love you too,” you whispered against his lips and you felt his forehead resting against yours. “So much.”

* * *

 

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what crawled up his ass,” Negan heard you gasp when he picked you up into his arms and carried you into his bedroom. He kicked the door shut with his foot and led you over to the bed to drop you down softly on top of it. There was a candle lit in his bedroom and you found yourself amazed with Negan. All he did tonight was completely against everything that he displayed himself to be. It was a person that you always suspected existed, but Negan never let you see it to this extent until now. “He’s getting drunk off his fucking ass and I could have just kicked him off the damn hill tonight.”

“He’s probably not used to this side of you,” you felt Negan moving in over you and you brushed your fingertips into his hair, taking a moment to mesmerize his gorgeous face. “I love you so much Negan.”

“I love you too doll,” Negan winked, brushing his fingertips through your hair before reaching for the ring that rest over the center of your chest. His breathing was heavy as he traced over it with his fingertips. “You sure you are okay with this ring? I know I have something probably more glamourous around here if you don’t like this one.”

“I love it,” you reached up to grab a hold of his hand and squeeze over it softly. Negan’s gaze lifted to yours and you tugged softly at his hair. You pulled him into a kiss and heard his breathing increase as you pushed your hands into his jacket to get it off his shoulders. “And I love you.”

“Mmm, I will not get sick of you saying that,” Negan claimed, getting up on his knees above you as he began to unbutton the white shirt. You smiled up at him as he pulled the material apart with each button. Negan’s brows bounced in a teasing fashion while his tongue dragged out over his bottom lip. “I hoped you liked me dressing up because I am never fucking doing it again.”

“Oh, I love it alright,” you slurred watching him pull the crisp, white dress shirt from his body before tossing it aside to the ground. Negan reaching for his belt and began to pull that out of his loops as well. You reached up to tease and caress over the center of Negan’s abdomen. You traced over the small scars on his skin before sliding your palms flat out over the heated flesh. Negan moved in closer to allow you to touch him and tease over his skin. “You are so sexy.”

“Let’s get that dress off you,” Negan urged you to get up with him and he pulled the zipper down on it. The material clung to your body as Negan started to push it slowly from your shoulders and his lips pressed in over your shoulder, teasing over the heated flesh with the skilled caress of his mouth. “This is something I will never forget. Shit woman, you have certainly changed me.”

“I love you,” you muttered, reaching your hand back to brush throughout Negan’s hair. His breathing had gotten heavier and when you felt the material pool around your ankles, you felt Negan’s chest pressed heavily up against your back. “Negan…”

“Tonight I’m going to make love to you like a husband should on your wedding night,” Negan informed you with a heavy breath, teasing his fingertips over your sides, tracing the skin carefully. Negan peppered you with soft kisses over the side of your neck and toward your shoulder. The sweeping sensation of his tongue over your skin caused a soft moan to fall from your lips and Negan hissed against your neck. “Then tomorrow we are going to have amazing morning after wedding sex. We’ll pretend we’re on our honeymoon and then we can pretend to have severely hot dirty sex. I’ll pretend I’m not here and the two of us can get down and dirty with each other.”

“As opposed to what we normally do?” you turned in his arms and he snorted, his nose wrinkling when he stared out at you. Negan carefully urged the rest of your clothes from your body before you pushed your hands into his boxer briefs to get them down. Negan stepped forward, urging you onto your back against the center of the bed while he crawled over you.

“I don’t know how I got so lucky to have you in my life,” Negan whistled to himself, his mouth press wet kisses over the side of your neck and toward your jaw. Negan lifted his head and smiled brightly. “I promise I’m going to love you for as long as I live sweetheart.”

Negan reached out to grab a tight hold of the ring that was on the necklace resting against the center of the chest. You lifted up to reach for the band you had given him as well and his thick laugh filled the air.

“I couldn’t have had a more amazing night tonight Negan,” you grabbed a soft hold of the sides of his face, caressing over the rough stubble. You leaned up to kiss him lovingly, taking your time to cherish the moment. “Thank you so much. I love you so much.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader wakes up the morning after marrying Negan and Negan makes a shocking suggestion about the future of their relationship. The reader also visits Daryl when she has some free time and tells him the truth about her relationship with Negan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know who still reads this, but thanks to those of you that do! :D

Letting out a small yawn, you stretched out your body and looked over your shoulder, expecting to find Negan in bed beside you and you let out a disappointed sound when we wasn’t there. You had fallen asleep last night after having Negan make love to you before holding you in his arms until you both had fallen asleep. You were almost expecting him to be there in the morning and you found yourself somewhat disappointed when he wasn’t.

Sitting up in the bed, you saw a letter that was on the pillow beside your head and reached out to pick it up to read:

_Good morning wifey, I’m outside. Come find me when you are awake._

Smiling to yourself, you held the paper close to you and thought about the fact that you were married to Negan. Looking down at the center of your chest, you saw the ring that Negan had given you last night during your wedding. You clutched it tightly in your hand and could feel your heart skip a beat at the thought of it. You never expected Negan to give you something and the fact that it was a ring that was so special was something that made your heart flutter.

Getting up, you grabbed some clothes and put them on. Noticing that Negan’s jacket was still in the room made you let out a confused breath. Reaching out to grab a hold of it, you pulled it in over your body and walked out into the hallway of The Sanctuary. A few odd glances were sent your way when you walked out of the room since the last time Negan likely spoke of you, the two of you were fighting. When you turned to walk out of the room completely, you let out a small yelp when you saw Simon sitting outside the door.

“Jesus Simon!” you screeched, reaching for your chest to grip at the center of it. Simon glared up at you with his dark eyes before getting up slowly and letting out a wince. “What the hell are you doing?”

“I know that you are happy and what not about getting married to the man of your dreams, but you still were almost killed not long ago. Someone is out to hurt you and while true love can erase a lot of the bad in the life that’s been done, it’s not gonna stop someone from trying to kill you just to hurt Negan,” Simon’s sarcastic tone filled the air and you rolled your eyes. You wondered if he was ever going to stop being mad at you for marrying Negan. “Your husband is outside doing something very productive. Nice hiding your relationship with Negan by the way. No one would ever realize you and Negan were super close by you wearing his jacket around here. They just might think you found one very similar and just ignore it…”

“Are you ever going to get the stick out of your ass with me?” you snapped, looking up at the taller man and he let out a tight laugh. It was clear that he was still uneasy with you when he reached up to pinch at the bridge of his nose. “I appreciate you doing this.”

“There is no choice. It was me and your husband that made a promise to you and I’m not going to break that promise,” Simon stated with a shrug of his shoulders.

“So you don’t hate me as much as you are acting?” you followed Simon out toward the doors and ran straight into him when he turned to look back at you. “Well, you have been treating me like shit lately, so I figured I should ask.”

“You know how I feel about you; I’m just really fucking sour. Time will heal all wounds though, right?” Simon retorted with the beginnings of a scowl and you pushed in front of him to walk outside. You heard the sound of what you thought could be a gun shooting near the cement lookout, but it sounded different than normal.

“Are we being attacked or something?” your nose wrinkled and Simon looked up at the lookout, his brows tensing together as he shook his head.

“I found your husband a few wedding gifts,” Simon informed you as the heavy laughter of Negan fell over the both of you and he sounded extremely amused with whatever he was doing. “Why don’t you go see the important business that he is up to right now.”

“Okay…” you moved for the ladder to start climbing up and you heard Simon clearing his throat. “What?”

“So how was your wedding night? Romantic? Hard sex?” Simon blurted out with an irritated breath.

“I don’t know Simon, how is your hangover?” you retorted, rolling your eyes before getting to the top of the lookout. You saw Negan standing shirtless at the edge of the outlook holding a rifle in his hands, but when he shot it something sounded different about it. “Negan?”

“Wifey!” Negan lowered the gun and looked over his shoulder to see you staring out at him with your curious eyes. A cigarette was hanging from his lips as you tilted your head to the side, letting out a small laugh. He set the gun down before moving out to you, taking one final puff of his cigarette before tossing the cigarette butt to the ground, stomping it out. He wiped his hands off on his pants and winked at you before reaching out to caress up and over your arms. A wide smile pressed in over his handsome features as he bit down into his bottom lip. “You look beautiful this morning.”

“And you look hot as hell,” you chuckled, nodding toward where he threw the cigarette. “So you smoke, huh?”

“Is that a turn off?” Negan muttered and you shook your head, a smile cracking in over the corners of your lips. “Simon found a few cartons of what used to be my favorite brand. Obviously I don’t smoke like I used to, but I got fucking excited when he brought them for me today…”

Negan reached into his pocket to pull out a pack to show you as you nodded and he popped open the top, “you want one?”

“I’m good baby,” you shook your head and watched him push them back into his pocket before reaching out to hook his arms around your waist loosely. His eyes were watching you closely as you smiled. “What?”

Negan moved forward to kiss you over and over again, catching you off guard with how excited he seemed to be. The taste of the cigarette still lingered on his lips, but it didn’t bother you. When he pulled away, you looked to the center of his chest to see the chain that you had given him for his wedding band sitting there, but no ring.

“Negan…” you gasped, reaching for the chain and you heard him snort when he clearly found your nervousness funny. “Your wedding band…”

“Calm down, I just wanted to see what it felt like,” Negan lifted his hand up to show that he was wearing the wedding band on his hand and he shrugged his shoulders when you gave him a surprised look. “I’ll put it back where it was later, but I like where it is right now. It’s nice to wake up being married to someone you love. Nice job with sizing the ring too. It fits really fucking nicely.”

“You scared the hell out of me,” you reached forward to lace your fingers with his and you slid your thumb in over the ring that was around his finger. “You have no idea how much you just turned me on by this…”

“Ooo…” Negan’s tongue slid in over his bottom lip while his hands slid in over your bottom to squeeze over the flesh softly. “You have no idea how much you’ve turned me on by coming out here in my jacket. It looks fucking amazing on you. Were you cold?”

“No, it just smelled like you and since I didn’t wake up with your arms around me…” you began with a frown and he pulled you closer to his chest. “I thought we would wake up in each other’s arms and…”

“We’ve got the rest of our lives to wake up in each other’s arms baby,” Negan responded with a frown, his hazel eyes looking deeply into yours. “I think we talked partially about what I expect from this marriage, but from here on out, unless I’m not here…I’m going to bed with you every night. I’m going to be waking up with you every morning.”

“Aren’t people going to notice that we’re close again?” you pointed out and Negan shrugged again with a laugh. “I thought you wanted to keep the marriage a secret, well…we wanted to keep the marriage a secret.”

“We still can, but I want to wake up with the person I love every morning and go to sleep with you every night. You are everything to me…fuck girl,” Negan slurred, reaching up to cup your face in his hands lovingly. You teased your fingers throughout his thick chest hair before meeting him half way for a kiss. “I think everyone is going to know that you are my girl again, though. I can’t stay away from you and I certainly can’t keep my hands off of you.”

“I like the sound of that,” you purred against his lips as his tongue pressed its way into your mouth and you let out a pleasant sound. The tugging sensation of his fingertips pulling at your hair made you let out a small moan and you heard his laugh fill the air. “This is why you should have still been in bed.”

“But Simon found something cool as shit,” Negan motioned you to wait as he reached for the gun and handed it to you. It was surprisingly lightweight and you let out a tense breath when you lifted it up. “It’s a paintball gun. He found a stash of paintballs and the paintball gun.”

“What have you been shooting at?” you felt him moving you forward toward the edge and motioned you to lift it up. You looked through the scope and saw the walkers that Negan had been shooting at previously and you laughed. “You are shooting at the walkers?”

“It’s fucking hilarious, watch…” Negan reached for the gun and you watched him lift it up to look through the scope. The first shot hit a walker in the center of the head and it caused it to fall backwards and hit the ground. Negan’s snort filled the air as he shot again and you watched the paintball hit the center of the walker’s groin. Negan’s laugh filled the air and you saw him lower the gun down. “Fucking funny, isn’t it?”

“It almost feels like a waste, but you are having fun and that’s all that matters,” you shrugged and felt him handing over the paintball gun to you. “I’m not going to shoot walkers with a paintball gun.”

“Oh come on, relax a bit. Show me whatcha got,” Negan egged you on and he brought his foot down in a stomp before tilting to the side. “Show your husband that he made a fucking good decision.”

“You’re gonna go there, are you?” you rolled your eyes and lifted the gun so that you could look through the scope. You found a walker that you wanted to center in on before shooting it several times in the head and Negan let out an amused sound when the head crushed in. You lowered the gun and let out a disgusted breath. “That one was going rotten…”

“That was awesome though, right?” Negan set the gun down and you shrugged your shoulders, letting out a tight laugh. Negan reached out to trace over the sides of your face and licked over his bottom lip. “How’d you learn how to shoot so well?”

“Lots of time up on a perch waiting, alone…” you sighed, thinking about your past and how long you had to practice your shooting. “You learn to make do with what you have when you are all alone.”

“And you are so fucking hot because of it,” Negan reached to push open his leather jacket over your body. His fingertips traced over the buttons in your shirt before slowly pulling them open, one by one. Negan’s tongue slid in over his bottom lip and he shrugged his shoulders. “I want to fuck you while you are wearing only the jacket…”

“Here?” you stammered, watching Negan nod as he urged the jacket from your shoulders for a moment, throwing it over his shoulder. You looked over the edge of the lookout to see Simon still at the bottom of it, waiting for the two of you. “Simon is down there…”

“…And?” Negan breathed out, urging the material of your shirt from your body before tossing it aside in the corner of the lookout. A pleasant sound fell from his lips when he saw that you were standing before him with no bra on. “Baby, you’ve made this so easy for me…”

“Negan, I love you, but there are multiple people out here. People working on the crops, people on lookout and Simon…” you whimpered out when Negan reached for your hip to urge you in closer to him. His lips latched onto your nipple, flicking and teasing over it with his tongue before biting into the flesh. “You’re not playing fair…”

“I never do, now put the fucking jacket on…” Negan held the jacket out and you grabbed a hold of it, pulling it up and over your naked torso. Negan smiled brightly and got to his knees before you, clutching your hips in his hands. His lips pressed in over your navel, taking time to tease over the flesh with his damp kisses. “How does it feel to be my wife?”

“Eh, it’s not that great,” you chuckled hearing him growl as he bit into your flesh making you let out a whimper. You reached for his dark hair and tugged it back, watching the smile that pressed in over Negan’s lips when he looked up at you with his mischievous dark eyes. “That hurt and it’s gonna leave a mark.”

“Good,” he growled against your skin, biting at it again before pulling open your pants and urging them down your legs. He motioned you to step out of them and roughly tugged down your panties as well. Negan looked over those proudly and shoved them into the back pocket of his pants as he let out a small sigh. “You’re mine and you’ll just have to start dealing with that.”

Negan slid his thumb in over the mark he left on your soft flesh when he bit you. You shuddered at the feeling of him so close to you and let out a nervous breath when he stood up. Negan pulled the belt open on his pants and quickly undid his pants before quickly pushing the zipper down. The pants pooled around his ankles as he reached down to wrap his palm around his length to pump it a few times in his grasp. It didn’t take long to get himself completely solid as he was already pretty hard. A gasp escaped your lips when Negan forcefully turned you away from him, causing you to grasp onto the edge of the lookout. Negan’s fingers dug into your hips to pull them back enough toward him before kicking your feet apart slightly.

“You like the feeling of that leather against your naked body, huh?” Negan’s mouth pressed in over your jaw and you let out a small moan when you felt him rubbing the head of his cock up and down your wet folds. You grasped harder onto the edge before feeling him snap his length roughly into you, bottoming out as his skin smacked up against yours. You cried out, pulling forward, but it his hands kept you where you were as you bit into your bottom lip. “You still feel like you were only made for me, fuck…”

“Negan,” you moaned out when he started his thrusts inside of you. They were rough and hard, just like the kind of sex that he had talked about the night before. You were having a hard time keeping yourself balanced as he pounded into you from behind. It was so hard to focus and keep yourself up on your hands as his quick and hard movements continued behind you. His heavy moans filled the air and you could feel his right hand releasing your hip to slide up and over your torso before grasping your bare breast underneath the jacket. “Negan…”

“You’re not being quiet dear wife,” Negan informed you, his lips pressing in over your earlobe when you realized you were moaning out his name. Glancing down, you saw Simon staring up at the two of you and you gasped. Simon’s eyes met yours and you let out a small yelp, pushing up and away from the edge. Negan grunted when you pulled your body from his. “The hell?”

“Get down…” you urged Negan toward the wall of the lookout and watched him drop down on the floor when you pushed him. You lowered in over his lap and saw his lust filled hazel eyes staring out at you intensely. He gulped down heavily and bit into his bottom lip when you reached out to tug your fingertips throughout his dark hair. “What’s the point of fucking me in the jacket if you can’t see the best part?”

“Good fucking point,” Negan replied with a groan when he reached down to grab a hold of his thick body to help you lower your tight, damp warmth over his. Negan tossed his head back and clutched your hips when you carefully began to lower your hips up and over his length. “I feel like I’m gonna have a dirty ass after this…”

“Don’t worry about it,” you snorted when Negan huffed and tipped up to kiss you over and over again. You reached up and clung to the edge of the lookout, bouncing your hips over his roughly over and over again. Negan’s moans filled the air as his hands helped you moved yourself over his body. The wet sounds your body made over his filled the air along with the smacking your skin made against his. A wicked smile fell over your lips when you felt Negan clinging tightly to you. “Who does this big cock belong to?”

“Wow…” Negan breathed out when he slid his hands up your sides and toward your breasts to caress over them softly. His fingertips played with your nipples before laughing out. “Is it marrying me that made you sound like this or is it the jacket?”

“I asked you a question,” you stopped your movements over him, clamping your muscles tightly around him and he cried out loudly. His eyes stared out at you with a shocked expression on his face. “Who do you belong to?”

“Fuck, that feels good…” Negan tried to urge you to move your hips, but you wouldn’t budge. He let out a whimper and bit into his bottom lip. His eyes shot you pleading looks and you smiled proudly. “It belongs to you. My cock belongs to you Y/N…it’s all yours. I fucking belong to you, just please keep doing that. Please…”

“Good boy,” you purred against his lips while tugging at his dark hair. His heavy breaths started to fill the air as you scraped your nails down the front of his chest making a loud groan escape his throat. Negan’s eyes closed and you could see his abdomen tensing and clenching while you moved over his length as hard as you could in quick, steady rocking motions. “Are you gonna cum?”

“Yes, fuck yes…” Negan panted as you grabbed a tight hold of his jaw and Negan turned his head enough to take your fingers into his mouth to suck over them seductively. Negan reached his right hand out to tease his thumb over your clitoris as he started to moan and hiss out.

Negan thighs were flexing beneath you and you could feel his body twitching inside of you when you used the muscles in your body to clench tightly around his. Negan pulled his mouth away and his jaw lowered when he leaned forward to rest his head against your chest.

“Fill me up baby,” you breathed out when you felt the first hints of his release inside of you and you continued your steady pace over him as he filled you with his thick cum, feeling your body on the verge of its own release. You moved your hips as hard as could over him and he clutched to you tightly when you let out a small mewling sound as you felt your body twitching and shaking against his body when you reached your release. Negan’s head rest against your chest, his pants loud and heavy. Reaching up, you tugged your fingers throughout his wet hair, feeling the stubble from his face grazing over your heated flesh. “Good boy.”

“You are a naughty fucking girl,” Negan hummed against your mouth when you moved in to kiss him after urging him to look up at you. When you pulled your body from his, you gulped down heavily and knew that Simon had to have been down below knowing exactly what the two of you had been doing. Negan let out a huff when he looked over the marks over his chest where small lines of blood were dripping from his skin. “Wanted to make sure that you marked me as yours too, huh?”

“Sorry, I got a little enthusiastic,” you reached for his hand and squeezed over it softly, looking over the wedding band he left of his hand.

“A little?” Negan chuckled, running his fingertips over the line of blood and you pulled his fingertips up to your lips to suck over them softly. “You’re gonna make me hard again and I’d really rather not get cement burn on my ass by keeping this up…”

“Then I guess I should get dressed then,” you muttered, giving him a final kiss as Negan stayed where he was. His chest was still rising and falling heavily as he breathed hard before you. You picked up your clothes to only feel Negan coming up quickly from behind you, his hand pressing between your thighs as you bit down on your lip heavily. “Negan, we need a few. My heart is going crazy…”

“What do you think about kids?” Negan blurted out, making you let out a tight laugh as he bit at your earlobe.

“I don’t really think about them,” you nervously laughed reaching for your pants to pull them up and over your legs before seeing Negan staring out at you with his bright eyes. “Why?”

“Why? You’re going to ask me why?” Negan laughed, his dimples sucking in as he bit into his bottom lip and he shrugged his shoulders. “I mean…we really haven’t been super careful. You realize that, right? And I’m gonna guess you aren’t exactly keeping a stash of birth control pills hidden from me.”

“Negan,” your nose wrinkled as he stared out at you and you tilted your head to the side. “This is kind of an odd time to talk about this, don’t you think? The day after we are married…”

“There is no better time than the present. You never know how long we have left in life,” Negan shrugged his shoulders and seemed confused as to why you were so against the idea. “I think we’d make an amazingly good looking kid.”

“No doubt, but there are also a thousand different things out there that would come after our baby,” you answered and made a confused face when you said it out loud. “Honey, right now is not the time for that.”

“You never wanted to have a baby?” Negan stammered, his hazel eyes watching you closely as he began to lift his pants up and over his hips.

“I wouldn’t say never, I just…right now is probably not the best of times. Not with Rick wanting to kill you and you being the main target of everyone around here. Or me being the target of someone out there,” you reminded him, reaching out to cup over his face with your palms. “I love you Negan and maybe sometime in the future…”

“It won’t happen. I want a baby more than anything in this world…and…” Negan’s expression was suddenly seriously and you brushed your fingers into his dark hair. “I’ve been trying to get your pregnant for quite some time…”

“What?” you laughed hesitantly, his eyes staring into yours as he spoke. “Negan, you sound ridiculous right now.”

“I’m being honest with you. Think about it…I’ve never once pulled out when the two of us have been together,” Negan reminded you and you stepped back from him, looking him over confused. “The first few times I got carried away, but after a while, I thought you were perfect. You knew I loved you before I even knew I did. I wanted to start a family with someone and you were the first person that I felt like I could do that with…”

“What the hell Negan?” you stammered, feeling you stomach tighten at the thought and you gave him an odd expression. “You are joking, right? Like, isn’t that something you should have asked me for? Something we should have talked about. Something that we should have agreed that I was ready for? That we were ready for?”

“Honey, what the hell do you think is going to happen when I’m cumming inside of you?” Negan retorted with a snort and you bit into your bottom lip, not knowing how to respond to this conversation. Negan seemed nervous talking about it, but you weren’t sure how to respond to it. “I’m just fucking saying…”

“Negan, we just got married,” you pointed out and Negan gulped down, nodding slowly. “This is really weird considering.”

“I never thought you would ever think of marrying me, so my fucked up theory isn’t that far off,” Negan pointed out with a frown and you could see his eyes tearing over. “I just…I really want a baby. Bad. I have a terrible feeling that I won’t be here very long and I want to leave something behind and I just…”

“Okay,” you breathed out, watching him drop down on the ground. You weren’t quite sure how to respond and you could see him dropping his head in his hands. He was shaking and breathing heavily as you stepped forward to kneel before him. You reached out to caress over his bare shoulder and hushed him. “Why are you getting upset about this? I’m not…really mad at you. Just confused.”

“Because I think I’m sterile,” Negan answered with a heavy sigh, his eyes looking up at you with a saddened expression and you let out a deep breath. “Before all of this…when I was married to my first wife, we were trying to have kids. Originally my wife thought it was her fault that we couldn’t. She got sick and always assumed we could never have kids because of it.”

You sat down beside Negan and didn’t know how to respond. Negan was opening up about his wife that he had only partially spoken up about in the past. You didn’t even know how she had died, just knew that she had.

“Then one of the girls here thought they might have been and then with you, if you aren’t pregnant now…” Negan looked to you with a saddened expression and he gulped down uneasily. “I’m sorry, I should have told you what I was doing and I should have told you that I thought I was sterile because if you want kids…”

“All I want is you Negan. Whatever life gives me…whatever life brings my way, I just want to share it with you,” you hushed him and reached out to caress over the side of his face. You tipped in to press your forehead against his and heard him breathing heavily while you caressed over the side of his neck. “I’m not exactly sure now is the best time to have a baby, but if that’s what you want and you are desperate for…we can keep trying.”

“You’d do that, for me?” Negan stammered and you nodded, brushing your fingertips throughout his thick hair. “You just said that you didn’t want a baby right now.”

“I didn’t think I’d want to be married either, but look where I am now…” you laced your fingers with his and squeezed them tightly. Negan moved in to kiss you softly, his lips caressing over yours again and again. “I just want to spend my life making you happy Negan and if that would make you happy, then we can keep trying for you.”

“I love you…” Negan muttered against your lips, his teeth softly nipping over your bottom lip and you could hear the sound of someone calling out to Negan. Negan wiped at his eyes knowing that he had gotten a bit emotional before he heard the sound of Simon yelling louder.

“Are you guys done fucking like monkeys because I kind of need you to do something right now Negan…” Simon’s attitude was clear as day as Negan reached for the paintball gun. Negan stepped forward and pointed the paintball gun down at Simon. A loud yelp filled the air as you got up to see that Simon had his back turned and Negan shot him in the ass with the paintball gun making Simon fall to the ground in a thud. “What the hell Negan? That’s not even fucking funny. That shit hurts. I gave you that as a present and…”

“I will shoot you in the balls right now if you don’t get the attitude under check,” Negan threatened and Simon quickly covered his groin, scrambling to his feet.

“I’m sorry Negan, I’ll just…I’ll wait for you inside, but I need to see you in your office as soon as you can,” you watched Simon shoot you a glare when you laughed and you felt Negan turn toward you.

“Well, that was nice,” you shook your head and Negan shrugged. “Maybe he will stop being cranky for a while.”

 

* * *

 

 

Standing in front of Daryl’s cell door, you had asked Negan if it would be okay during his meeting if you could go see Daryl. Negan was uneasy about it at first, but allowed you to do it when you pointed out that you were certain that Daryl wasn’t the person after you. Pulling the door open, you saw Daryl look up at you and you cleared your throat uneasily. Daryl scrambled up from the ground when you moved into the cell upon seeing you. When you closed the door behind you, you felt Daryl’s arms wrapping around you tightly. A gasp fell from your lips when you hugged him in your arms and felt the desperation in his grasp.

“Thank God you are alright,” Daryl clung to you tightly, his arms squeezing around you as he let out a weak breath. “I thought that you were hurt. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you and I didn’t know what to expect…”

“I was on a run and I was attacked by a group of people a while ago,” you informed Daryl and he gave you a worried expression. “I’m fine, but that’s why I haven’t been here.”

“Was it another group or was it actually Negan and his people?” Daryl frowned, reaching up to brush your hair away from your face with his dirty fingers.

“I was with Negan’s group and they saved me Daryl. I owe a few of them my life,” you answered with a heavy sigh. You knew that Daryl was never going to trust Negan or the Saviors and there was nothing you could do to help him realize that you were safe.

“It’s not safe for you here Y/N, we need to get out. We need to get out together,” Daryl urged you to look up at him and he grabbed a hold of your jaw in his dirty, rough fingers. “We can find a way out. We can leave together and then I can get you back to Alexandria. I’ll take care of you there. You can have a normal life, we can…”

“I don’t know if that is possible Daryl. I don’t want you dead,” you stammered, reaching up to brush his long hair away from his eyes. “I don’t know how to get out of here without you getting hurt. I don’t know how I can do that at all.”

“We can figure out something. The two of us, we can work together,” Daryl’s hands lowered toward yours and you could feel his thick fingers squeezing around yours tightly. “If you find your way around maybe…”

“I want you to be out of here. I want to find a way to get you out of here, but…I’m not leaving Daryl,” you stated with a shrug of your shoulders, reaching for the food that you had brought him from the bag over your arm. Simon and Negan were never aware that you were bringing Daryl food. It was likely that neither one of them would have let you seen Daryl if they actually knew. While Negan trusted you with your friend, you actually were betraying Negan’s trust to a degree by bringing Daryl the food that you had been. Daryl gave you a sideways look before letting out a grunt.

“Why not?” Daryl blurted out with a frown and you shrugged your shoulders. “It’s not safe for you here. Negan, Negan is a dangerous man and…”

“Negan has never hurt me…well, physically,” you answered and Daryl seemed flabbergasted that you were defending Negan to some point. “I want to find a way to get you out of here, I really do. It’s just…with me, there are things keeping me here.”

“What? Your fears? I will take care of you,” Daryl insisted with a heavy sigh and he reached up to caress his fingertips over side of your face. You felt your body tense up when Daryl stared down at you. “I promise you that once we get back to Alexandria, I won’t let you outta my sight. I’ll take care of you. I’ll watch over you. If we find a way to escape, I promise to look over you. I will not letting anything bad happen to you. I swear. I’ll keep you safe. ”

“I know you would,” you reached up to squeeze his hands in yours and you shook your head slowly. “But there is something that I need to tell you.”

“Listen…I know that this is scary. This is a scary situation and I’m worried too, but I know we can get outta this. I know that at the end of the day that this won’t be the end for either of us. I know it’s hard to leave a place that you have made a home in, even if it’s awful for you…” Daryl urged you to look up at him and you felt your body tightening up as he spoke to you. “I saved you once, I can do it again. You just have to have a little faith in me.”

“Daryl, I wish it was that easy,” you felt the sweeping motion of Daryl’s thumbs over your cheeks and you gulped down uneasily.

“You are the one thing that has helped me keep my faith here. You are the one thing that gives me some kind of light in this darkness Y/N and if it wasn’t for you—I don’t know how I could have kept somewhat of a straight mind in this cell,” Daryl insisted, his eyes staring into yours as he gulped down. “All I’ve been able to think about is what happened to Glenn. How…it feels like it was my fault and I don’t know how you’ve managed to sneak in and see me like you have, but…”

There was a silence that fell over the both of you and you could feel Daryl pressing in closer to you. You locked up when you felt his lips pressing in over yours. Your body was confused as to how to respond before you swiftly put your hands over the center of his chest to get him to back up.

“Whoa, you are just in a dark place right now and that’s not how you feel,” you urged yourself away from Daryl and felt an ache inside of your chest when you thought about Negan getting upset in the past about three guys liking you at The Sanctuary. He clearly was very right about two of three at least. “You don’t feel that way about me. You are my friend and I care about you, but…you are just upset about everything right now. I’m the only person you are interacting with and you think you are feeling something, you just aren’t.”

“Y/N…it’s gonna be okay, I promise,” Daryl tried to reach for you, but you could feel your heart pounding inside of your chest. You felt guilty, you felt like a terrible person as you saw Daryl looking the way he did before. “Listen…”

“The reason I’m in here is because Negan allows me to be. The first time I got in trouble for it, but after that every time is because Negan has allowed me. Negan is allowing me to talk to you because he knows that you are my friend. He knows that I care about you and he wants me to be able to see you,” you explained and Daryl seemed confused by what you were saying. “He hopes that by me being here that I can change your mind about being a Savior and that he can make me feel comfortable.”

“Why the hell would he do that?” Daryl snarled in response, not happy with even the thought of Negan. “You know I wouldn’t become a damn Savior.”

“I know that, I know that very well. I just agreed to try because I wanted to see you,” you explained and Daryl still seemed confused. You needed to be honest with him. It may have been from guilt, but you couldn’t keep lying to him when you honestly cared for this guy as one of your friends. “I can’t leave Daryl because I’m married to Negan…”

“That son of a bitch. He forced you to marry him, like the others…” Daryl started with a growl in his tone as he paced back and forth in the room. “I swear he is going to get his if he thinks that…”

“Daryl, I married him because I love him. There are parts of him that no one knows, parts that he only lets me see,” you informed him and Daryl gave you a look, his body pressing into the corner of the room. “I was with him before I even knew you were here…and I just…”

“Did you marry him before or after you knew I was here?” Daryl stammered and you gulped down heavily. “You married that monster knowing full well what he was doing to me? Please tell me it’s because he’s a master manipulator. Please don’t feed me this bullshit about you loving him. You don’t love him. I saw you scared. I saw fear in your eyes when he was going to force you to do something you didn’t want to.”

“Daryl, please try to understand,” you reached out toward him and he wouldn’t allow you to touch him. “Daryl, you’re my best friend and I’m just…”

“Don’t fucking touch me,” Daryl demanded, pulling his body from your grasp. “Negan killed our friends. Negan killed some of my family. Negan has tortured me and you are gonna sit here telling me how good he is for you? Bitch please…” 

“Negan has done really terrible things, but with me…” you tried to reason with Daryl and he threw his hands up, scrambling to get away from you. “Daryl, please. You are my friend and I know this sounds awful, but…”

“Fuck you. I thought I had feelings for you. I cared about you. I have been freaking out every damn day that something bad was happening to you. All I could think about was getting us out of here and saving you,” Daryl stated making your chest ache as you stared out into his swollen eyes. You felt so guilty and it was clear that your confession hurt him. “I thought what was going on here was something different, but you are just fucking crazy. I thought the two of us…”

“Daryl, I’m not crazy. Negan is just different with me,” you tried to explain and Daryl shook his head, letting out a tight laugh. “He is.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Daryl snorted reaching for the food you brought him tossing it in your direction. You were able to side step and get away from it hitting you before looking to Daryl with a saddened expression. “Get out of here.”

“Daryl, please. You are my friend,” you pleaded with him and he shook his head. “You are the one person that…”

“Don’t feed me bullshit. Don’t tell me these dumb ass lies,” Daryl snarled, stepping forward into the cell, his nose wrinkling. “You came in here playing me. Making me think that you were a damsel that needed saving when you have been fucking the bad guy the whole time. For all I know, you are in here trying to get information for Negan. I don’t know what game you are playing, but this whole time I thought what we had was different. I worried about you this whole time and you are married to fucking Negan…”

“Daryl,” you reached out to try and touch him, but he shoved you back. “I’m sorry…”

“Take your damn food with you,” Daryl slurred, pointing to the food that you brought for him. You sighed heavily and reached down to pick it up as Daryl slid into the corner of the cell. “Never come back here…”

“Listen,” you saw Daryl’s eyes glare up at you and you felt lost. You set the food down at the corner of the room before heading back toward the door. Holding onto the handle you sighed and felt terrible about everything. “I’m sorry. I swear, I’m gonna try to find a way to get you out of here…”


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader visits with Dr. Carson after almost fainting. They talk about a surprising thing that might be happening before the reader returns to Negan to try and give him what he asked of earlier in the day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is very, very smutty. Like, super smutty. I may have been in a mood. I don't know lol. Another warning, if you aren't into this....Negan kind of talks about Rick in a very VERY sexual way with the reader who doesn't really hate the idea of it. So I just wanted to throw that out there before you read it. Thanks again to those that still read it!

“Are you still having moments where you are feeling faint,” Dr. Carson muttered as you felt the burn of the light that the doctor was using to look at your eyes causing them to water over. “Have you passed out, lost consciousness?”

“No, I haven’t,” you explained with a heavy breath as the doctor hummed to himself and turned the light off, putting it back into his jacket pocket. You clutched the side of the table you were sitting on top of and cleared your throat uneasily. After you had your interaction with Daryl, you left and almost felt like you were about to pass out. You knew that it wasn’t right and didn’t want to worry Negan, so you went to Dr. Carson yourself. The doctor reached for your leg to look at the wound on your ankle that you had gotten from tripping over the roots from the tree a while ago. When he was looking at how it was healing, you cleared your throat uneasily. “So if someone was trying to get pregnant…”

When you began your sentence, you could see the doctor’s brows arching up; his eyes gradually rising to meet yours and you shrugged your shoulders. You knew that this should really be the last thing that you wanted and you knew that you were more so trying to just make Negan happy, but you figured you would ask further about it.

“What would be a good thing for them to do?” you gulped down when the doctor shifted uneasily in front of you. “Like eat certain foods, do…certain things…”

“You’re looking to get pregnant? Is that really something you want to do with these dizzy spells?” the doctor mentioned and you shrugged your shoulders. You didn’t think that the dizzy spells were really something that was worth worrying about that much.

“I’m just saying…if someone wanted to get pregnant, what are some things that they could do?” you felt your cheeks blushing over, you felt embarrassed and stupid for even asking. “Like let’s say that two people have been trying, but they haven’t been able to get pregnant.”

“Well…” the doctor seem uncomfortable and looked you over, he was silent for a moment and it seemed like he was unaware of how to approach the subject. “If the woman is on her back during sexual intercourse and afterwards lays like that for the rest of the night, sometimes it is easier for the sperm to…”

“Okay,” you nodded, noticing that the doctor seemed to be getting uncomfortable with talking about it with you which made this all the more awkward. “And if the man might be the one having…problems?”

“Oh, I see…” the doctor reached for something for your healing wound on your ankle before clearing his throat. “Foods like dark chocolate, garlic, bananas, broccoli, asparagus and walnuts help with sperm count and healthy sperm. I don’t know how likely you are to get some of that around here considering, but I think you may be lucky to find a couple of those things.”

“Alright, well thanks,” you whispered, shifting again on the table. You didn’t know if the doctor knew that you were with Negan. You assumed it was likely that he knew Negan was with you. Most of The Sanctuary seemed to know it and when Negan was with you after getting attacked. You imagined it was pretty obvious after Negan had lain in bed with you. That’s likely why the doctor was acting odd about the conversation and you weren’t about push the subject any further. You knew that it was likely the doctor wasn’t super fond of Negan, but you still were trying to find out for Negan. Why you were so eager to please him with a baby was beyond you, but it was what Negan wanted and you were going to try to make him happy. “I appreciate that.”

“So…” the doctor cleared his throat again, pulling your pant leg back down after looking over the wound. He shifted uneasily on the chair and tilted his head while thinking of what to say next. “Are you sure you’re not pregnant right now?”

“Of course not,” you laughed with a bit of hesitation in your voice. “Do I look pregnant?”

“Well, you keep feeling faint. You mentioned having nausea and feeling really fatigued. Those are early signs of pregnancy. I know that you hit your head, but from what I could tell…it didn’t seem like the injury was something that would be long lasting,” Dr. Carson informed you and you looked down toward your stomach, sliding your hand up and over it. “I’m not saying that you are, but when was the last time you had your period?”

“I’m not really sure,” you stammered, thinking about the question and you bit down on your bottom lip. “Wouldn’t that be something that I would be able to feel? When I’ve had people talk to me about being pregnant, they always say they can feel it.”

“Not always. People experience things differently in their body. Some women can go their entire pregnancy and not notice it unless they are growing. If you and the man you have been trying to have a baby with haven’t been using a contraceptive while having sexual intercourse, you could already be pregnant. If you’ve been trying, you may already be successful,” Dr. Carson continued to talk about the idea of you being pregnant and you gulped down uneasily. Your hand slid in over your stomach and it didn’t feel like you were pregnant. You always thought that it’d be something you’d feel. “I don’t have any tests to check right now, but give it a couple days and then we will get you in here to test.”

“Oh…” you nodded and watched the doctor get up to move over toward a counter to grab some bandages for the wound on your ankle. Your hand still clutched onto your stomach as you heard the doctor clearing his throat uneasily. “Thank you.”

“Don’t worry about it right now,” the doctor urged you as you accepted the bandages and clutched them in your fingers. “Relax, take it easy. See if this fainting feeling stops. In a couple of days we can test to see if you are pregnant.”

“Do I look pregnant to you?” you questioned and the doctor’s eyebrows perked up, giving you a look that said he wasn’t about to say whether he thought so or not. It was clear he wasn’t about to offend anyone, but you found the idea a little hard to believe. Negan just got done telling you that he thought he was sterile and you just assumed he was right. Now that the doctor was bringing up the fact that you hadn’t had your period in a while made you also believe maybe Negan was wrong. It never really hit you that you could be pregnant. It was stupid of you not to think that way considering you and Negan were never careful. Ever. “I’m only asking.”

“I couldn’t tell you just by looking at you. The only way I’d be able to tell is if you were super far along,” Dr. Carson answered and you bit down roughly on your bottom lip. “Is this something you really want? To be pregnant?”

“I never really thought about it to be honest, but he really…wants it,” you stated with a heavy sigh and you felt the doctor’s hand reaching out to squeeze supportively over your shoulder. “And I really want to make him happy…so the idea isn’t awful. Just shocking.”

“Well, don’t worry too much about it yet. You don’t want to assume you are and either get yourself stressed or excited only to learn that you may not be pregnant,” Dr. Carson frowned, urging you to sway your mind away from it. “Just work on taking care of yourself right now. Everything else can come second, okay?”

“Sounds good,” you nodded knowing that the one thing that was on your mind right now was the idea of getting pregnant. You told Negan that you would try to give it to him to make him happy. You weren’t sure why you agreed to it other than you loved him and wanted him to be happy. That alone apparently was more than enough for you.

* * *

 

Moving into Negan’s bedroom, you clung to the bag at your side and pushed open the door to let out a small gasp when you saw Negan sitting in bed. You didn’t think that he would be back yet from his meeting, but apparently you were wrong. Negan was sitting in bed, his back pressed up against the headboard as he was reading a book. A pair of thick framed, black glasses were over his eyes and you smiled brightly as you closed the door behind you. When you entered, you saw Negan lift his eyes from the book he was reading and smile. Negan was shirtless already with the blankets resting over his lap as you moved across the room to set the bag down you were holding.

“Those glasses are fucking adorable on you,” you moved across the room to lean down and press a loving kiss over Negan’s lips. Your fingertips caressed throughout his thick hair before caressing over the bottom of his neck while he set the book down. “They are amazing.”

“I feel like they make me look old,” Negan retorted with a snort, before reaching up to urge you in closer to the bed so he could kiss you again with a bit of force behind the motion. “Where have you been? I thought I would come to my beautiful wife in my bed, but I was all alone.”

“I was just getting more bandages from Dr. Carson,” you winked before moving across the bedroom to grab the bag that you had brought. Looking over your shoulder you saw Negan reaching for the pack of cigarettes that he had sitting on the nightstand. He pulled one out and put it between his lips before reaching for the lighter that was there. Quickly moving across the room, you pulled the cigarette from his lips and heard him let out a tense breath.

“If you wanted one, I could have just given you one…” Negan chuckled from where he was sitting in the bed and you looked down at the cigarette. Negan went to grab another one before you reached for the box. You remembered hearing something back in the day that smoking killed the sperm count in a man and you weren’t about to tell Negan that, but if he wanted to try and have a baby, you weren’t about to let him smoke right now. You had to come up with something to say. “Baby…”

“Not in our bedroom Negan. I don’t want everything to smell like smoke,” you pouted and Negan laughed, his eyes narrowing out at you before shrugging his shoulders. You put the cigarette back into the small box before setting it down on the edge of the nightstand. “I’ve got something better for you to focus on anyways.”

“Oh yeah?” Negan’s eyebrow perked up over his glasses as a wide smile spread across his handsome features. Negan’s right hand slid in over your bottom as you set the bag on the bed beside him. Negan leaned forward to urge your shirt up over your stomach to start pressing wet kisses over your lower abdomen. “I’m sure I’d rather focus on what you’ve got for me anyways…”

“Right…” you answered pulling out a dark chocolate candy bar and a small bag of walnuts that you were able to find with the help of Simon before coming upstairs. Negan pulled his mouth away from your stomach and looked to what you brought him. “I need you to eat these.”

“Not what I thought you were going to ask me to eat,” Negan’s nose wrinkled as he reached out to grab both items from you. A disgusted sound fell from his lips as he looked up at you before you took a seat on the bed beside him. “I’m not really hungry sweetheart.”

“Just eat these for me and I promise I will make it up to you,” you muttered and he looked to you with a curious expression before he opened the bag of walnuts to start plopping a few into his mouth. Sliding your hand up underneath the blankets, you caressed over his warm thigh and saw Negan smirk. “I just want to take care of my gorgeous husband.”

“By feeding me random odds and ends?” Negan snorted as you teased your fingertips through the hair covering his thigh. A moan fell from his lips when your caress moved higher up, making you let out a surprised sound when you realized that he was naked already underneath the blankets. “I told you I was waiting for you baby…”

“How do you continue to have the energy?” you breathed out, pushing the blankets away from his body before you started to softly caress over the warmth of him. Negan’s head fell back against the headboard as his neck flexed and showed the prominent vein at the side of his neck. “You’d think you’d get tired sometimes…”

“I stay very fucking hydrated throughout the day,” Negan teased and you rolled your eyes, using your free hand to urge him to keep eating the walnuts and he grunted. “If I eat these nuts, will you at least play with mine?”

“Well when you put it so romantic like that, I don’t see how I could turn you down,” you smirked when you watched him adjust his glasses on his face before you lowered down closer to his lap. Your lips teased over his thighs, pressing soft kisses over his skin and you heard the sound of his breathing getting heavier. “Are you going to finish that whole bag for me?”

“I’m working on it woman…fuck,” Negan stammered as you felt his body hardening within your grasp. Teasing your fingertips under the tip of his body, you felt his hips arching up toward you and you smiled. “If you wanted to see me put nuts in my mouth, we could have invited Grimes over…”

“Jesus Negan,” you choked out with a laugh, hearing him start to crack up upon your reaction and you placed your hand over the center of your chest. Negan finished off the small bag before tossing it aside onto the nightstand. “I can’t believe you just said that.”

“Does the idea turn you off?” Negan muttered, licking over his lips as he watched you closely. You thought about the idea for a moment before shrugging your shoulders and the corners of your lips turned into a smile. “You are a dirty little girl, aren’t you?”

“I’m not so sure that Rick would be up for that,” you pointed out with a laugh and Negan shrugged his shoulders before opening up the candy bar that you had brought him. When he bit into the first piece you heard him let out a small sound of disgust before going to spit it out. Shaking your head, you reached up to cover his mouth and heard him huff when you did it. “Baby, you need to eat it.”

Negan huffed against your hand before you heard him swallow down what was in his mouth and when you pulled away, you saw the frown that pressed in over his lips. Breaking off another piece, you leaned forward to press your lips over his and he hummed against your mouth. Your tongue urged its way between his wet lips, tasting the chocolate against the sweeping of your tongue over his. When you pulled away to push the chocolate between his lips, you heard him whine.

“Don’t be a baby,” you looked down to see his solid erection resting against his lower stomach and you grabbed a firm hold of it, lowering down to tease your tongue over the underside of his cock. Your right hand reached down to softly cup his testicles before looking up at him. His jaw was tensing as you smiled and watched him continue to eat the candy bar. “You’d really blow Rick?”

“I’d fuck Rick given the chance,” Negan blurted out and you laughed against his skin causing him to whimper out when your laugh vibrated against his cock, causing him to arch up closer to you. “Jesus…fucking…fuck.”

“Tell me how you really feel baby,” you muttered, wrapping your lips around the tip of his cock, swirling your tongue around it in a circular motion. Sucking softly, you pulled away with a small popping sound to see him trying to deposit the rest of the candy bar onto the nightstand. “You eat the candy bar baby or I swear I will stop.”

“Are you trying to torture me?” his nose wrinkled as he looked over the rest of the dark chocolate. “Couldn’t you have at least brought me milk chocolate or something?”

“Eat your chocolate and tell me about your little fantasy with Rick,” you suggested and Negan huffed heavily, breaking off another piece of the candy bar before plopping it into his mouth. Negan’s chest was rising and falling heavily as you teased your tongue from the underside of his cock from the tip to the base. “Who would be the bottom?”

“Rick would bite my dick off if in your position right now, you know that right?” Negan’s moan filled the air as you teased your tongue over the veins in his body. Gulping down, Negan reached out with his free hand to tease it into your hair. “Fuck, you know me…I like being in charge.”

“That doesn’t answer my question. You could be the bottom and be in charge just as well as being the top and in charge,” you pointed out with a hum before wrapping your lips around the tip of his body again, sucking very softly. Your tongue slid a long, wet line over the tip to tease over the slit at the top before pulling your mouth away. Your fingertips barely traced over the tip of his cock, teasing over the sensitive flesh. Negan’s thighs flexed, his hips arching up closer as you smiled to yourself. “I think you are starting to like being a submissive though.”

“Only with you,” Negan nodded, biting down on his bottom lip and you took him back into your mouth to start bobbing your head over his length. Negan’s hand helped urge you over his length as you heard his soft moans start to fill the air. “I don’t really fucking care. If I didn’t think he’d fucking kill me, I’d do whatever the fuck Rick wanted. The fact you aren’t turned off by that idea confuses the fuck outta me though…”

Pulling your mouth from his body with a slurping sound, you watched Negan hold up the remainder of the chocolate bar before putting it into his mouth to eat the rest of it. You smirked, moving forward to kiss him again and again as he grunted against your lips. A gasp fell from your lips when he tugged you up toward him roughly, making you fall against his chest.

“Mmmm, the taste of my cock and dark chocolate is the perfect combo,” Negan laughed and you chuckled softly against his lips, reaching up to smack over the center of his chest before you felt him tugging at the shirt over your body. “Now do me a favor and get fucking naked…”

“Yes sir,” you stood up from the bed and watched Negan toss the wrapper of the chocolate bar onto the nightstand. Negan reached down to caress up and over his length, spreading the dampness over his body that was left from your mouth. You quickly rid your clothes before crawling into bed with Negan, feeling his hands settling in over your bottom as you moved in over him. When Negan went to pull the glasses off, you shook your head and motioned him to keep them on. “Fuck me with them on…please…”

“You like them that much? Fuck, alright…” Negan’s fingertips squeezed at the skin over your bottom before urging you up and over his thick length. Reaching down you grabbed a tight hold of his body, caressing over it a few times while teasing the head of it through your wet folds. Negan licked his lips, his eyes following the movement of you teasing his body over your wet pussy. Negan let out an impatient noise and you lifted your eyes to meet his. Negan moved in to press a kiss over your lips before you pressed roughly into the center of his chest to push him back. The hiss that followed and the expression he gave you showed that he appreciated you being rough with him. Lowering yourself carefully over his length, you heard Negan’s grunt fill the air as you squeezed your muscles around him. “Fuck…”

“What would fucking Rick be like?” you breathed out and Negan laughed, his hands sliding from your hips up toward your breasts.

“He wouldn’t have these amazing fucking breasts,” Negan squeezed over your breasts, teasing his thumbs over the nipples before tipping forward to take one of them into his mouth. Negan moaned against your skin, his tongue swirling around the small bud over and over again to get it to a hardened peak. Negan pulled his lips away and licked his lips, before turning his attention to the other breast. Whimpering, you felt him bite softly at your breast and arched in closer to him. “I love your fucking breasts.”

“Daddy, I appreciate that, but I want to know,” you purred, tugging into his hair to yank his head back and his thick laugh filled the air.

“Are you really that intrigued by the fucking idea?” Negan hissed when you started rolling your hips over him, rocking back and forth over his length. You nodded and Negan bit into his bottom lip roughly. “Really fucking hard. Rick has all that pent up anger inside of him...”

“Fuck me like that,” your nails bit into Negan’s skin on his chest making him let out a tight hiss before nodding. Negan forcefully pulled you from him and flipped you over onto your stomach. A tight breath fell from your lips as you felt Negan roughly pulling back your hips. It was amazing how easily he could move you around when need be. You steadied yourself on your hands and knees as you heard the sound of Negan’s thighs smacking up against the back of yours when he forced his length back inside of you. The motion was quick and fast. It caused you to jolt forward uncomfortably before letting out a small whimper. A loud groan fell from Negan’s lips as he smacked firmly against you. The sensation of it caused your whole body to tingle and you grasped the sheets in your fingers tightly. “Negan…”

“You’re so fucking naughty,” Negan stammered, his thrusts behind you powerful as his palm smacked firmly over your bottom.

Moaning out, you heard the pleased sound he made behind you before doing it again. Reaching between your thighs, you caressed over your clit feeling the friction that Negan was already building up inside of your body. The way he could so easily make you feel good blew your mind. You had to bite down on your bottom lip to silence yourself. The two of you were being loud and you knew it. So loud that you were sure some of the workers downstairs could have heard your cries. The powerful thrusts were pushing you forward and you had to drop your hand again to keep from falling over. Clutching tightly onto the sheets again, you closed your eyes and felt Negan’s thick cock filling you over and over again as he thrust his hips forward into you. The way that Negan filled you, caressed you and pumped in and out of you felt amazing. Your toes curled and body twitched with every jolt that he sent throughout you. Within a few minute, you felt your first orgasm flush over you and Negan continued his thrusts.

“Your tight little pussy loves my cock, doesn’t it?” Negan growled against you neck, his tongue sliding a long line up your neck and over your jawline when you nodded. You were trembling in his arms. It was clear that you were sensitive with each movement forward he made, but he liked the squeezing sensations you made around him as he continued to move inside of you throughout your release. Negan’s body laid in over yours, forcing you to lay flat on the bed as Negan’s left hand reached for yours grasping it tightly while his right reached for your jaw to turn your face to him. Negan was looking into your eyes, watching the reactions that he could pull out from you while thrusting heavily from behind you. When you cried out, tipped your head back and felt him biting at your jawline, you felt his thrusts slowing down. The loud smacking sounds that filled the air with each forward movement he made caused you to cry out loudly. A desperate breath fell from your lips as Negan’s mouth sloppily pressed in over yours, kissing you heavily. “You like that baby? You like daddy fucking you hard?”

“Yes daddy,” you purred as Negan grunted out before pulling away from you to urge you onto your back. Negan’s hands pressed in over your thighs, pushing you up against him with a hiss as he filled you again. “Fuck me…”

“I’m pretty sure Rick wouldn’t call me daddy,” Negan laughed against the side of your neck as he started pulling his hips back and forth time and time again. The head of his cock was hitting all the right areas inside of you as you cried out, digging your nails into his back and making him hiss out. Negan lost his grip for a moment at the pain before shaking it off and smiling. “Fuck, you like when you mark me, don’t you? You like letting others fucking know that I belong to you, don’t you?”

“Yes,” you nodded, scratching your fingertips down his back making a loud grunt fall from Negan’s lips. The scratching sent him to thrust harder and harder inside of you. “Fuck, Negan!”

“Let the whole fucking Sanctuary here how hard I’m fucking you. Scream for daddy. Scream out my name,” Negan smacked harder up against you, his tongue dragging out over his bottom lip. Negan’s sexy smirk spread over his features when his cock slammed forward into you making you cry out heavily. You tried biting into your lip to stifle yourself, but Negan shook his head. “No baby let everyone know.”

“Negan,” you cried out, hearing the wet sounds that filled the air as he filled you over and over again. Tossing your head back, you could tell that he wanted it louder and your cries filled the room. Negan’s groans and moans weren’t any quieter as the sloshing sounds his body made inside of you surrounded the two of you. The grip his fingers had on your thighs was so rough that you let out tight winces with each forward movement he made. “Are you almost there?”

“Yeah,” Negan nodded as he let go of your thighs, reaching up for the headboard to help him give force to his thrusts inside of you. You leaned up to cling tightly to Negan’s body, your lips biting at his neck as he let out a tight moan. Negan’s jaw dropped, a deep growl like you hadn’t quite heard erupting from deep within his throat. “Fuck girl…I like you marking me…”

“You like being mine?” you purred against his mouth when his lips met yours, he bit softly at your bottom lip to tug on it before pulling away. Clenching your muscles tightly around him, it caused him to let out another whimper as he almost lost his grip on the headboard. “Do you like being mine?”

“Jesus, you’re doing that fucking thing from earlier,” Negan’s jaw clenched as he looked down between the two of you, clutching firmly onto the headboard to urge his length harder within you. Negan’s heavy grunts and groans filled the air as he cried out when he felt your nails biting into the skin on his chest. “I don’t know where you fucking learned that, but please keep doing it.”

“I asked you a question,” you muttered with a growl as Negan’s right hand fell from headboard when you clamped the muscles of your body harder around him causing him to whimper out before groaning heavily. “Do you like being mine?”

“I fucking do,” Negan panted, bringing his other hand down so he could hold onto you tightly. Negan’s movements had slowed down as he bucked up against you over and over again, while you held to him tightly. Your head fell back as you felt his lips pressed heavily over the side of your neck. Your toes curled against his calf muscle and you could feel your body begin to twitch. A rush of hot liquid warmth filled your body as you reached your release, hearing Negan moaning against your neck when he felt your body squeezing around him. Clinging tightly to his damp hair, you urged his mouth to yours and felt his movements slowing down when the first line of his cum shot out inside of you. Negan’s heavy grunts pressed in over your lips when you felt him filling you with his warm release before falling in over you. “Jesus, fuck…”

Negan was panting against the side of your neck while you caressed your fingertips throughout his wet hair. Your heart was hammering in your chest and you could only imagine how he felt while he was shaking over you. Everything ached, but in a good way. When you asked for rough sex, that’s exactly what Negan gave you. There were no doubts when you came out of this room tomorrow that you would likely get odd looks from those at The Sanctuary from how loud the two of you were. Negan lifted up enough and you could see a few lines of blood sliding down the front of his chest.

“Are you sure you really like that?” you reached up to trace your fingertips over the scratches. Negan nodded with a proud smile, his sweaty hair clinging to his face while he looked down at you. “I don’t like hurting you.”

“I fucking love it,” Negan informed you with a huff and he bit into his bottom lip. When Negan went to pull away, you shook your head and pulled him in closer to you. A laugh fell from his lips when you kissed over the side of his neck. A small grunt filled the air when you squeezed over his bottom and urged his body closer to yours so he couldn’t pull out. “What’s up with you tonight doll?”

“If I lay on my back for a while…it’s more likely for me to get pregnant,” you answered and Negan’s brows tightened together as he looked down at you. Brushing his fingertips through your hair, he shifted his weight, but still stayed over you and inside of you. Negan pressed a loving kiss against your lips before letting out a small laugh. “What?”

“I just fucking love you so much,” Negan responded with a heavy sigh, his rough palm caressing over the side of your face. “You are really okay with this whole baby thing, huh?”

“It’s what you want and I desperately want to make you happy,” you whispered against his lips as he tipped in to kiss you again. Negan’s fingers brushed over the side of your face again and you felt a coolness pressing against your face. Tipping your head back, you looked to see that he still had the wedding ring over his finger. “You never put it back on the chain?”

“I guess I kind of just got used to it being there,” Negan winked and you hooked your fingers with his tightly. “So what the fuck was up with the chocolate and the nuts?”

“They are uhm…they are supposed to help the sperm count and smoking…kills it,” you answered and Negan choked a bit before nodding. A small snicker fell from his lips when he realized what you were doing and you smiled when you looked him over. Negan looked whipped, his hair was a mess and clinging to his face, but you loved the sight of it. “I’m sorry; I should have said what I was doing.”

“My baby is out to make me happy, how could I be upset with you?” Negan slurred, tipping in to press a loving kiss over your lips again before sighing out heavily. “I’m not hurting you are I? Lying on top of you and…”

“You are fine,” you whispered, sweeping your fingers into his wet hair before feeling him rest his forehead against yours. “I love you so much Negan.”

“I fucking love you too,” Negan smirked, nestling his nose against yours. “More than you will ever know.”

“Negan,” you sighed, reaching up to caress over the side of Negan’s rough features. There was so much you wanted to say, but you thought about Negan and how he would want to use you to help him turn Daryl into being a Savior. Why this thought was entering your mind now was beyond you, but you had to tell him what happened. “I need to tell you something that I think you might be unhappy with.”

“Like I was unhappy with you for giving me stuff to up my sperm count?” Negan teased, tapping your nose playfully with his fingertip before moving in to press another quick kiss against your lips.

“It’s about Daryl,” you began and watched Negan’s brow arch in interest. “I told him about us. I told him that I was married to you and that I loved you.”

“Oh, wow,” Negan made an impressed face before reaching down for your fingers to link them together with his. “And I’m gonna guess he didn’t take it very well?”

“Not at all,” you answered and Negan shrugged. “I’m sorry Negan, I know that you thought I’d be able to help you with him, but I don’t think he ever wants to see my face again. Not after finding out that I was in love with you after…everything.”

“I’m not mad at you. I’m more so shocked that you were brave enough to tell him,” Negan raised your hand up to his lips so he could deposit a small kiss over the back of your hand. When he lowered it, your thumb slid in over the ring that he still had around his finger. Negan watched you with a smirk for a moment before shrugging. “I know he’s stubborn, I wouldn’t expect anything less from him, but he’s Dwight’s problem now. Not mine.”

“Just like that?” you muttered and Negan nodded, lowering down to rest his head against yours and you felt his weight shifting to make sure that he was over you still comfortably. “Are you gonna take that ring off and put it back on the chain eventually?”

“Eventually.  I’m just going to enjoy where it is right now,” Negan hushed you before lowering his head over your shoulder. Your fingertips reached up and caressed over the back of his neck, teasing through the hair which caused him to sigh heavily. “Right here in your arms is the honestly the best I’ve felt all day and I don’t want to forget this moment.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan & the reader share some personal time together before Negan opens up about his past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a bit of smut in this, but some of the chapter kind of follows the comics. I was exhausted when I did this, so if there are some grammatical errors, I sincerely apologize.

There was nothing better than waking up in the morning with the sensation of Negan’s arms wrapped around you. It was never something you thought you would desperately want to feel each morning; the warmth of a man’s arms wrapped around you. Negan changed that for you. After he had been spending all the nights with you that he did, you never wanted to imagine yourself waking up a different way.

Stretching out, you shifted in the bed and felt Negan breathing heavily against the back of your neck. The sun was just sneaking through the blinds in Negan’s room and you could still feel the ache that pressed in over your body. Last night Negan had promised to give you rough sex and he had. He also followed up several times after, not wanting to ‘waste’ what you had done for him in bringing the food to him the night before.

Sliding your hand down, you hooked your fingers with Negan’s and felt the coolness of Negan’s wedding band still around his finger. You smiled to yourself knowing that it was your mark on him. It was a surprise that no one had noticed it around Negan’s finger yesterday. It almost made you feel bad that you weren’t wearing Negan’s ring around your finger. It was still resting over the center of your chest, connected to the golden necklace that Negan had given you. Eventually, Negan would have to take his off his finger and put it back on the chain around his neck. Negan didn’t want people to know that the two of you were married. Apparently it was worth risking in being together in general, but Negan knew that if people were aware that you were now his ‘wife’ that people would want to hurt you twice as much. Even so, it was still nice to know that Negan’s ring was around his finger for now.

Negan’s deep breaths filled the air from behind you and you felt him cuddling in closer to you. His nose nestled against the side of your neck and it caused you to laugh slightly. The stubble from his beard was rubbing up against your neck and tickled over your skin. Your laughter seemed to alert Negan and you could feel him moving slightly behind you.

“You okay?” Negan muttered against your skin and it sent chills down your spine. His lips were pressed up against the back of your neck. Small kisses were being deposited over your skin, but they were weak and tired. You nodded and Negan squeezed his arms further around you to pull you closer to his chest. “I’m so fucking tired. I never thought I’d run out of juice, but I might just be fucking dry if I tried having sex with you again.”

“Negan,” you swatted at his hand and heard his small laugh filter throughout the room. “You’re the one that didn’t want to waste the chocolate and the walnuts.”

“Mmmm, well with my sperm count raised and all…” Negan teased, pulling his fingers from yours to softly tickle at your exposed ribs. A squeal fell from your lips and Negan snorted with how easily he could get you to react. “The first two times were amazing sexual experiences, the third time…it was fucking fantastic, but I don’t know what I’d call that.”

“An experience,” you responded when Negan let out a tired breath again behind you before urging you to turn to him. Negan reached up with his hand to trace over your tired features and the roughness of his fingertips caused you to tremble softly at his touch. “I love you Negan.”

“I love you wifey,” Negan smiled widely, his words coming out proud and happy. You reached up to caress your fingertips into his messy hair that was somewhat wild from the night before. “So fucking much.”

Negan’s lips softly pressed in over yours and you found yourself sinking further into the bed. Nothing lured you more to Negan than how amazing it felt to kiss him. Negan was good at kissing and he knew it. When you would purr into his mouth, a smile would press in over his handsome features. Out of the corner of your eye, you could see that there was a camcorder sitting on the edge of the nightstand. One that you had clearly missed the night before when you had come in to talk to Negan. Your brows furrowed and when Negan noticed you looking, he laughed.

“What?” Negan snorted as you rose partially up from the bed to reach for the camcorder and he swatted your hand away. “Nope. That’s mine.”

“What?” you chuckled, realizing that Negan was too desperate to keep you away from the camera. “Negan? Wasn’t that Rick’s?”

“Yeah, so what?” Negan felt you shifting in bed over him and he roughly spun you over in bed. The warmth of his body covered yours and when you glared up at him, a wide smile pressed in over his gorgeous features. “Fuck, I love you.”

“Negan,” you stammered as his lips covered the side of your neck. The wet, teasing caress continued down toward your collarbone before returning back up your neck and toward your jawline. A moan fell from your lips when Negan’s caress continued. “You are trying way too hard to keep me away from that camcorder.”

“I’m not attempting to do anything,” Negan insisted as you used the power that you had in your body to push him off of you and onto his back. You quickly shifted in over his body and heard the grunt that escaped Negan’s lips when your hands wrapped firmly around his wrists and pushed them against the bed. Negan bit into his bottom lip, a satisfied sound falling from his mouth while his eyes narrowed up at you. “I love when you take control baby.”

“I thought you were running on empty,” you licked your lips as Negan looked over your naked torso and you felt his hips arching up closer to yours to give hints to his hardened erection beneath you. “What happened to being tired and not having any more in you?”

“Well, it is pretty good to try not to waste what’s in my fucking system,” Negan winked and you released one of his wrists to allow his palm to reach up to squeeze over the side of your body, up toward your breast. When Negan cupped your breast in his hand, you rocked your hips softly over his and heard his thick moan fill the air. “You have the most amazing set of breasts…”

“Is that so?” you gulped down when you felt Negan’s thumb swirling around your nipple, taking the time to tease over your skin. Arching into his caress, in a matter of seconds Negan was sitting up in bed while his arm wrapped around your hips to bring you closer to him. A whimper had fallen from your lips when his mouth surrounded your breast, teasing and flicking the nipple with his tongue and warm mouth. Your right hand hooked into Negan’s hair while you used your left hand to reach for the camcorder. Turning it on, you rewound some of the video and let out a tense noise when you saw the video going backwards. Negan was too focused on sucking over your breast to realize as you hit play and allowed the video to start up. When both of your moans filled the air, Negan cringed and softly pulled his lips away from your breast with a slurping sound. A nervous sound fell from his lips when he licked over his lips and looked over his shoulder to see that you were playing the video that he had clearly recorded of the two of you last night having sex for the first time of the night. “Negan?”

“Yes baby?” Negan innocently muttered, watching you pull the camcorder closer to you. Watching, you could see Negan over you in the video, plowing into you and you looked up at your husband. His hazel eyes were full of mischief and a deep laugh fell from his lips. “It was just sitting there and I figured, why not? You know?”

“Didn’t think you should ask me about that first?” you muttered as Negan reached for the camera to fast forward the video back to where it was originally.

“I’ll let you watch it too. I just figured it would be something to keep me happy if we’re not together,” Negan winked and you reached out to shove into the center of his chest with a laugh. “We’re fucking hot. That porno would have been fantastic if people were still buying that shit. In fact, I bet a lot of the fucking Saviors would pay to see that fucking video.”

“Not a fucking chance babe. No one is seeing that other than you and me,” you reached out to pinch his nipple, hearing him let out a small yelp and you tipped forward to meet his lips in another kiss. Negan’s tongue forced its way between your lips and you followed his movements. Negan’s hands shifted toward your hips to adjust the sheets before urging you down and onto your side. His body pressed in behind you and his distended flesh was pressed up against yours. The dampness at the head of his cock pressed in over your flesh and you bit down into your bottom lip. “I thought you didn’t have any more in you. I thought you would be shooting out dust.”

“I guess even fucking exhausted, my cock gets hard,” Negan breathed out against your ear. The sensation of his tongue dragging over it was felt and a gasp fell from your lips when he pulled your thigh up and over his. Bending in an odd position, you turned your head to meet Negan’s lips in a kiss while you felt him teasing his swollen cock through your cheeks. A moan had fallen from his lips while you bit into his bottom lip. Wincing, you felt Negan’s body quickly pushing into your core and felt him parting your body once more for his. Negan’s thrusts from behind you were slow while you lay on your side. Negan’s right hand clung to your thigh for a moment before you felt it moving away. “This is technically our honeymoon.”

“Negan,” you huffed hearing the sound of the camera switching on. Looking over your shoulder, you saw Negan lifting the camera up over the two of you to point it at you while his hips smacked up against your bottom. Negan looked up at the camera with a wicked look and you were about to fight him on it with the camera, but his hips began to buck harder behind you. The smacking sounds filled the air and you reached around you to urge Negan’s hips harder against you when you grabbed a firm hold of his bottom. Your body was already so sensitive that when the head of his cock brushed up against your g-spot, it didn’t take long for you to cry out and begin to shake.

“Oh, that’s right. Cum on daddy’s cock,” Negan muttered from behind you, his voice deep and still very tired as you helped urged his hips up against yours. Negan’s mouth was pressed in over your jawline and your body began to tremble and shake. When Negan felt you clenching around him, his moans began to fall from his own lips. “Feels so good, doesn’t it baby?”

“Put the damn camcorder away. We’ll do something better another time,” you pleaded as Negan smirked and closed the camera up before setting it back onto the nightstand. Negan pulled his body from yours and it caused you tremble. There wasn’t long for you to get used to it before Negan had you on your back and urged you to wrap your legs around his waist. Negan’s fingertips were sliding up and over the dampness of your pussy before he pushed his fingers into you. “Negan…”

“How many times has daddy made you cum in the last few hours?” Negan growled, his cock pressing up against your inner thigh, leaving a trace of pre-cum over your skin. “Huh?”

“I lost count,” you cried out and Negan could still feel you convulsing around his fingers from your orgasm. A smile pressed in over his handsome features when he pulled his fingers from your body and sucked over them. Your lips were agape and your whines and whimpers filled the air. Negan pushed his fingers back into your body before raising them to your lips.

“Taste yourself,” he demanded and without questioning it, you parted your lips to allow him to shove his fingers into your mouth. With ease, you wrapped your lips around his long fingers, lapping up the taste of yourself over him before Negan urged you further to him before shoving himself back into your warmth again. The smack of your skin filled the air and you cried out against his fingers. “Good girl.”

Before you knew it, Negan was pounding into you again relentlessly. Again, he was causing you to be loud and you knew that he loved it. You were still so surprised with how much energy he still had in him when he had said not long ago that he was absolutely exhausted. It didn’t take long for him to help you reach your next orgasm. Maybe it was from the sensitivity of all the times during the night, but the orgasms truly shook you to your core. Your body sent his into a surge of shakes and trembles as his head lowered and he nestled his nose against your neck. The sounds that came from him when his seed began to fill you erupted throughout the room and they sounded like weak, desperate groans.

“You sound like you are dying,” you laughed, tugging at his wet hair when his body fell limp over you. Negan snorted against the side of your neck and you clung to him tightly. Negan’s hips still softly bucked up against yours while he laid in over you. Your legs unhooked from his body and Negan cuddled his head up against the side of your neck. After a few more thrusts inside of you, you felt Negan’s hips halt completely and he kissed along the side of your neck.

“You are going to be the death of me woman, fucking hell. I don’t think I’ve cum this much in a twenty-four hour time span in my whole fucking life,” Negan insisted, his tired breathing pressing in over the side of your neck as you caressed over his hair. The two of you went silent for a moment and after a few minutes; Negan’s deep breaths filled the air.

“Did you seriously fall asleep?” you teased and Negan shifted uneasily over you, seeming to get more comfortable over your body. The sound of a knocking filled the air and you pushed into Negan’s shoulder. “Baby?”

“I know the two of you are awake since I just heard you fucking and I’m coming in,” Simon announced and you felt an immediate panic filling your body as the door opened and Simon let out a disgusted sound. Simon closed the door behind him and moved to the side of the bed. Your left hand reached up to cover your eyes and you knew that you were red from behind embarrassed. Your naked bodies were still very much out and Negan was still laying over you and was still inside of you. “You two need fucking help….is he alive?”

“Sleeping,” you answered and Simon rolled his eyes before moving to the corner of the room to sit down.

“Is he really that fucking good?” Simon question, his dark eyes looking the two of your over. It felt awful to have Simon looking over the two of you like this. Simon’s eyes seemed to be taking in the entire scene and his head tilted to the side. “I mean, he has you fucking screaming at night and you have him sounding like he’s fucking dying. I couldn’t sleep last night because of it. After about the third time I had to jerk off from being so fucking turned on.”

“I bet you were thinking about me,” Negan grunted against the side of your neck and you let out a huff knowing that Negan had to have been up near the beginning of Simon entering the room. Negan lifted his head and you could see the uncomfortable expression press in over Simon’s features when Negan looked out at him. Cleary it was something that Simon was comfortable with saying to you while Negan was out cold, but when he realized that Negan heard it, it made him tense. “Did it feel good jerking off that little dick of yours while hearing me moaning out Simon?”

“Hardy fucking har,” Simon shifted uncomfortably and you laughed uneasily when Negan did. Negan looked down at you, his face was partially red and the corners of his eyes were wrinkling over. Negan had managed to very clearly embarrass Simon. “He’s just being an asshole, my dick isn’t small.”

“Why would my wife care how big your dick is Simon?” Negan tipped in to press a kiss over your lips and it almost felt like he was teasing Simon since he knew that Simon liked you. Negan’s tongue plunged into your opened mouth and you clung to him tightly. You weren’t one for these public displays of your sexual encounters with Negan, but he was making them so much that you were starting to get used to it. “To answer your question, yeah, I’m really that fucking good. Aren’t I, baby? Daddy makes you cum real good.”

“Jesus,” Simon huffed and stood from where he was seated. Simon’s eyes shifted away from the two of you as Negan snorted and you knew that he was just still trying to be a dick. “Blunt much?”

“Says the man who just came in here to tell my wife while I was sleeping that he jerked off last night because he heard my wife and I fucking,” Negan reminded Simon with a glare and you reached out to urge Negan to look back at you. Your fingertips clung to his jaw tightly and Negan rolled his eyes when he took the hint that you were ready for Simon to leave. “My wife is a little shy, so if you could piss off? I’d greatly appreciate it.”

“Or you could cover all that with the blankets,” Simon suggested and Negan’s brow perked up. Your heavy breaths filled the air when you felt Negan adjusting over you, but not attempting to cover up. “Or not.”

There was an uncomfortable silence that filled the room as Negan started pressing small kisses over your jawline again, his tongue teasing long lines out over your skin.  

“Okay, well…you need to get up. We’re going to go on a run and…” Simon started to talk and Negan rolled his eyes before waving Simon off. Negan rest his head back over the side of your neck before Simon stepped forward. “Well what the hell do you want me to tell them?”

“I’m on my honeymoon. I’m going to be fucking busy for a few days,” Negan informed Simon, his words teasing over your skin and it caused you to smile brightly. Simon was staring out at you closely and you still felt a little uncomfortable.

“That’s what you want me to tell The Saviors? That you are on your fucking honeymoon? So much for letting the world know that the two of you weren’t that serious? How about you walk out there just like you are right now and show everyone out there the ring on your finger. Let them know that the two of you are fucking married,” Simon snapped and Negan lifted his head, glaring out at Simon. “Because that’s smart, right?”

“I was fucking joking Simon. Not about being busy for a few days, but about the honeymoon thing. Just make up some shit, you are smart,” Negan brushed Simon off and you went to reach for the blankets, but Negan shook his head to make sure you two stayed the way you were. “So if you could fuck off now.”

“You’re serious?” Simon grunted and Negan nodded leaving you to feel the blushing over in your cheeks. Simon gave you a final glace before leaving the room, slamming the door closed behind him. Negan looked to you with an amused expression and you shoved at his shoulder softly.

“That was mean,” you sighed as Negan got to his knees and you watched him carefully pulling himself from your body before dropping down beside you on the bed. Negan urged you to lay in closer to him to rest your head on his chest. Negan’s heart was pounding heavily and you heard it clearly. Teasing your fingertips over his lower abdomen, you played with the wet hair and twirled your fingers around it. “You know he is uncomfortable with…us.”

“Right and you are my wife. You have no feelings for him, he is gonna have to fucking deal,” Negan grumbled with an angered sound and you lifted your head to look up at him. “I didn’t like the jerking off comment.”

“It had no effect on me baby. The only thing I’m thinking about daily is the sexy thing that was over me and inside of me while he was talking to me,” you informed Negan with a proud smile. “No one could ever make me feel as good as you do.”

“Don’t you forget it darling,” Negan winked and you both fell into a comfortable silence. You almost felt like things had completely settled down before Negan sighed heavily.

“What’s going on sweetheart?” you inquired, wondering what was bothering him. Negan tipped in to press a kiss against your temple and you heard another loud breath escape his lips.

“I’m just thinking about us. I want to give us the best possible marriage we can have. I think we need to be open with each other,” Negan suggested and you shrugged your shoulders.

“Not much to really tell you. I think I’ve pretty much gone over everything,” you answered, pressing a soft kiss over the center of Negan’s chest. “What do you want to know?”

“And that’s what I mean. I know everything about you, but you know nothing about me,” Negan huffed and you looked up to see his dark eyes staring down at you. You shrugged and didn’t respond. You were used to it. It was something that you had just come to expect from Negan. Gradually he would let you in on things. You weren’t about to push it. “I think I need to tell you a little about me and my past.”

“Now? You really don’t have to unless you want to…” you stammered, looking up to Negan with your tired eyes and he nodded. You weren’t sure how to respond, but just kept your eyes on him. “What’s up baby?”

“I want us to have a real relationship. I want us to be open with each other and have a real marriage. Not one of these stupid, shitty ass things you call what I have with the others,” Negan began with a deep sigh, his eyes shifting uncomfortably before looking into yours again. Negan reached with his free hand to caress his fingertips over your jawline very slowly and you let out a comfortable sound. “That’s why you need to know things.”

“I’m all ears,” you muttered, tipping down to press a soft kiss against Negan’s fingertips before raising your hand up to interlace your fingers with his. Negan thought about things for a long moment before shifting.

“My original wife, her name was Lucille,” Negan began and your brows clenched when you thought about his baseball bat. Negan nodded and let out a tight grunt. “I know, it’s cheesy. I name a fucking baseball bat after her. But, you see before all of this happened, I was a gym teacher like you knew. I was married to Lucille. We had been married for quite some time. She was the woman that I got with right after high school ended. She was the only person in the fucking world that put up with my shit. I was an asshole, bad. No one else gave forth any effort with me, but her. She saw good in me. Good that I couldn’t even see. Every time I would push her away, she’d come back twice as hard. It was then I knew that I needed to marry her. Thing is…I didn’t know a good thing when I had it.”

“You don’t have to tell me this,” you noticed the pain in Negan’s tone and you didn’t know whether you were upset seeing him like that or if it was jealously pulling at you. You hoped it was the first of the two because you would have felt awful knowing that Negan was opening up to you and you were responding by getting jealous.

“No, no. It’s time you knew me. I cheated. All the time. I thought I was missing out on something. I thought that I was stuck in a life I never wanted to begin with. We got married young; I didn’t want to be a fucking gym teacher. I wanted to be something big. I wanted to be a ball player,” Negan nodded slowly, sucking in a sharp breath as he looked up at the ceiling. You were doing your best to listen and stay quiet as Negan bit into his bottom lip. “I just never had the will power and the perseverance to actually do it. I was too much of an arrogant asshole to even try. So I didn’t. I just let life go. I gave up on most things. She was always there, telling me she believed in me and shit, but I didn’t even believe in me, you know?”

Negan shifted beside you and you tipped down to press a soft kiss over the center of his chest, almost in a supportive motion.

“Well, like I told you…we were trying to have kids. It was something she wanted. I was still riding high on being young,” a dry laugh fell from his lips when he realized how stupid he sounded saying it in his own mind. “We attempted it. I didn’t think I wanted kids because I worked with them and they are such little assholes. I know we are supposed to shape them to make them better, but fuck—they can be such shitheads.”

“That’s kids for you,” you laughed and saw Negan smirk before looking to you again with a serious look in his eyes.

“It didn’t stop me from cheating though. It never happened, the pregnancy. It got frustrating, you know? Trying to have a baby, not being able to. She would do things to try and get pregnant and sex became a chore. I got to the point where cheating was the only time I felt excitement. I was a fucking asshole,” Negan remembered the time before all of this and you could see that he was actually angry with himself. His jaw locked up, his eyes coming to a tight close as he thought about his earlier life. “One day after school I was playing ping pong with a few of the kids from school. I used to teach them ping pong and was that dipshit teacher that wanted to look cool. You see Lucille came out to tell me that the parents were complaining that I was an asshole. Cussing out these kids.”

“You cussing out kids?” you playfully teased him and poked him in the ribs.  A smile cracked in over Negan’s lips for the first time in a few after talking and you nodded.

“She passed out while lecturing me. I thought maybe it was that she was actually pregnant, you know? That maybe things were finally falling into place, but she didn’t wake up. We had to call nine-one-one. There the doctor told us that she had cancer. It was already too far gone. See, I tried to lead on the life that I was living before.  Lucille knew that I was cheating on her, but after I found out she was dying, I stopped cheating. She got mad at me, but I never gave up. I was angry at life for making her sick. Of the two, I was the bad one. I started thinking that maybe God was punishing me for being such an asshole. I thought that maybe if I turned my life around that I would be able to help her. Be able to heal her. I never left her side. When she could no longer walk, I’d push her around in the wheelchair. We caught up on the things we didn’t do in life when I was too busy being a dick. I’d cry, I’d get upset because things only got worse and she’d get mad at me. Hated me making a scene. By the time she was in the hospital dying, I still didn’t want to believe it, you know? I kept telling her she’d make it through and that’s when the fucking walkers started attacking. I thought if I could keep her safe, she’d make it through, but…she died.”

Negan stopped talking for a minute and you could see tears forming in over the corners of his eyes and he shrugged uneasily. You reached up to brush your hand comfortingly over the side of his jawline and he leaned into your touch.

“She turned and I didn’t know what the fuck was happening. I thought my mind was playing tricks on me and I ran. I couldn’t kill her. I had a kid go to her because I just…I couldn’t…” Negan cried, biting into his bottom lip and you felt the pain in your chest growing. “I killed two people for the first time that day. Not only had I become a shitty husband and a terrible person, but I was also a murderer. The kid I was with tried to convince me otherwise since they were already gone, but I felt like a fucking murderer. I couldn’t stay at my home any longer, not without her. So I left and I picked up person after person. They thought I would be able to help them. I got attached. I learned their names. I heard their stories, I got close. Too close. And they all died. All of them. I wanted to so badly have something normal again, but everyone died. Then I got together with this one group. Dwight’s group. They accepted me and for the first time I felt close to someone. They listened to me. They followed me. They trusted me and instead of just being some person, they were family to me. I got sick of losing everyone. We became a family and then this fucker and his group came. Offered me up a girl that he wanted me to rape, but I refused. I killed him with the bat, but not before he shoved me into a bunch of barbed wire. That’s what these scars are from.”

Negan pointed toward the scars on his body and you traced your fingertips softly over the scars he showed you. Your throat was going dry, Negan was spilling everything to you and he was still crying. It made you tremble at the sight of it, you never imagined Negan getting this upset about things.

“I thought the one thing keeping me alive that whole time was Lucille. She was the bubble keeping me from getting hurt. It was then I decided that Lucille was gonna keep everyone safe. I was gonna protect everyone and anyone that crossed us, I was going to kill them the way I do with Lucille,” Negan stated with a firm nod. “Lucille was my savior and I no longer wanted to see my people die. So I promised to take care of them with what kept me alive and then people kept dying still. The more I learned people’s names, the more that I realized that they were likely to die. A piece of me would die every time one of my people died. I was miserable and lost, so we all became Negan. I became their savior and the rest is history.”  

“Baby,” you hushed seeing him raising his hand to cover his eyes to try and stop from allowing himself from showing you that he was crying. Reaching up, you grabbed a hold of his wrist and hushed him. “Baby, it’s okay…”

“It took me losing Lucille to know that she was everything to me. I was a piece of shit and I let it all slip through my fingers,” Negan pulled his body up from the bed and you crawled up, reaching out to urge him to rest his head on your shoulder. “I can’t let that happen with you. I can’t let you slip through my fingers. I love you so much and…I’m scared. For the first time, I’ve felt the things that I did for Lucille with you. I want to have a life with you. I want to have a family with you. I don’t want to die because I’m afraid to lose you. I need you to know why I am the way I am, why I am such a piece of shit Y/N. I’m horrible; I don’t deserve anything in life…”

“Baby, shhh…” you muttered, pulling him in closer to your chest and you heard him crying heavier against you. “Is this the first time you have faced this? The first time you’ve opened up?”

“I pretended that it didn’t bother me. That I didn’t care, but I just…” Negan sobbed and you caressed your fingertips throughout his hair. “It’s why I am the way I am. Why I have the theories that I do. I am so fucked up and…”

“You are human,” you shook your head, cutting him off. When his saddened eyes met yours, you reached out to caress your thumb over his cheekbones to collect the tears from over them. “You are human baby and no one can hold that against you Negan. Your secret is safe with me. I love you.”

“I love you too and I’m just so scared and terrified of fucking losing you,” Negan stammered and you moved in to kiss him heavily. “I fuck up everything. I lose everyone that means something to me. I’m so fucking scared.”

“You are never going to lose me,” you hushed him and you pulled his head in over your shoulder again as you felt him crying still against your skin. How he went from being a sarcastic shit with Simon to this absolutely blew your mind, but you couldn’t let him torture himself like this. “I’m here with you for the long haul sweetheart. I’m not giving up on you. Ever.”

“We’ll see,” Negan hissed against the side of your neck and you pressed a soft kiss against his temple. “I just love you so fucking much. I never thought I’d be able to feel what I did for Lucille again and I have…I found it with you. I never want to lose that again.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Simon's irritation grows with the relationship between the reader and Negan. The reader learns new things about Simon's past. The reader has an uncomfortable interaction with Daryl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of this is actually in Simon's point of view for a while. I know that's kind of weird considering, but I wanted to try something new. I read this over when I was really tired, so I'm sure there are a lot of mistakes. Thanks again to those that still read this!

A frustrated groan fell from Simon’s throat as he reached for the pillow that was beside him to pull it over his face to try to drown out the sounds from Negan’s room next to his. Never did Simon have much of a problem when it came to Negan and his wives, but since Negan had married Y/N – everything had been driving him crazy. He was getting absolutely sick of everything when it came to the two of them. Simon knew that he was jealous of Negan because at the end of the day, Simon really didn’t think that Negan was good enough for Y/N. It had been a few weeks since they had gotten married and a lot of the nights they would have sex quite loud. Tonight was one of those nights and it was driving Simon crazy. The nights where they would stay in Y/N’s room was by far some of Simon’s favorite nights because then he could picture that Negan wasn’t actually married to her.

“God damn it,” Simon grunted out, slamming his pillow over his head again and again. It wasn’t clear when he started feeling something for Y/N, but it just was lingering there and he couldn’t help the way he had started to feel.

His irritation lasted most of the night and into the morning because he hadn’t gotten much sleep. After everything that happened, he just couldn’t find himself calming down. The way that Y/N would cry out Negan’s name drove him crazy and he was getting sick of having the room next to Negan’s.

After a day’s work Simon had come back and was stressed. Since Negan had gotten married to Y/N, it seemed like things had gotten more complicated for him. People were coming to him for answers. Negan was still around, but Simon was the one constantly going out on runs and if they all went out on runs, Negan was the one that was with Y/N. Watching her and keeping her safe. Simon had also made the promise that he would watch over Y/N, but he hadn’t gotten much of a chance with that lately because Negan was always there to do it.

Today when Simon had come back, Simon was eager to find Negan. They had to talk about things and Simon was ready to tell Negan that he thought Negan needed to get his ass back in gear. There was undoubtedly something happening behind the walls with Rick’s group and it needed to be discussed.

Surveying the eating area, Simon saw Arat at the corner of the room and moved to her, “Seen Negan around lately?”

“Yeah, the boss went into the kitchen not long ago with the new girl,” Arat nodded toward the kitchen that was in The Sanctuary. It was somewhere that only certain workers were allowed and Saviors. Simon cleared his throat uneasily and made his way toward the kitchen, pushing the door partially opened to hear Negan and Y/N laughing. Simon shifted his weight to look in on them in the kitchen clearly alone making something together.

“Would you stop it?” she laughed and Simon’s brow arched when he saw Negan pressing kisses over the side of her neck and she playfully nudged Negan away.

“What?” Negan snorted with a laugh and Simon watched closely to see Negan dip his finger into whatever it was that they were making before pulling it to his lips to suck at his fingertips. “Mmmm, that’s good. Fuck, it tastes almost as good as you do.”

“If you keep doing that we’re not going to have any of that cake made,” she pointed out and Simon gulped heavily when he watched Negan moved out to tickle his fingers over her sides. Simon found himself jealous with how much they could easily have fun together. It was almost like they were living a life where nothing was going on behind these walls. They were like a real married couple and it disgusted Simon to a degree. The laughs that fell from Y/N and Negan soon turned to the two of them kissing. When Negan pushed her roughly against the counters Simon knew that he should have been stepping back and leaving them alone. He hadn’t been caught yet, but soon enough he would be if he kept standing there.

“What about the cake?” Simon heard her pant as Simon raised his eyes to see Negan dropping his leather jacket to the ground before beginning to open up his pants. Damn, did these two ever stop?

“The cake can wait,” Negan stammered and Simon watched closely when Negan tugged at the back of her pants and pulled her out close to his body. Y/N grasped the counter firmly and let out a whimper when Negan stepped in behind her. The sound of Negan’s pants dropping to his ankles was heard and Simon rolled his eyes when he heard the smack of Negan’s skin against hers filling the air when they started having sex again. This time, Simon could see that Negan was keeping his hand firmly around her mouth to try and keep her quiet and while part of Simon knew that he wanted to stand there and watch, there was the other part of him making him realize that if he was caught, he would get his ass handed to him by Negan.

Carefully closing the door, Simon moved over toward one of the tables not far from the kitchen to drop down in his seat. If someone noticed him, they would have probably seen that he was glaring so angrily at the kitchen door that he would be setting it on fire if he could. Everyone around him continued on with the daily life and while that’s what he should have been doing, he could feel the burning of jealousy filling his body.

Lifting his head, Simon saw the kitchen door opening and he could see Negan and Y/N kissing again from where he was at. Gulping down, he watched Y/N fixing Negan’s jacket for him before handing him two plates. When Negan spotted Simon, he smirked and moved to the table to take a seat with him.

“Hey, glad to see that you are here. We found some cake mix on the last run and I figured you might want a piece,” Negan dropped the piece of cake in front of Simon and Simon’s nose wrinkled when he looked down at it. The images of Negan and Y/N having sex flashed through his mind and Simon shook his head. “The fuck man? You don’t want any cake?”

“I seem to have lost my appetite,” Simon answered as Negan shrugged and reached for the plate, pulling it closer to him. Negan took a big bite of his first piece and Simon shifted uncomfortably when he saw that Negan’s ring was on his finger again. “Boss, you forgot the wedding band again.”

“Hmmm?” Negan looked to his hand to look over the wedding band that Y/N had given him when they had gotten married. Negan shrugged before he went back to eating his cake and Simon found himself annoyed.

“Are you forgetting that she had someone try to kill her not long ago? They tried to kill her because they knew that the two of you were closer than the others,” Simon snapped and Negan’s eyes lifted from the plate that he was eating from to stare out at Simon with his amused expression. “This isn’t a fucking joke Negan. Just because they haven’t attacked her yet doesn’t mean that they aren’t planning to soon. Anyone with fucking eyes sees that the two of you are close and closer than average. We go out on runs, you are up her ass. When you are in the truck, you have her sitting in your lap or the two of you are kissing. Hell, when you are in the kitchen cooking the two of you are fucking like monkeys. The two of you are fucking like monkeys in general.”

“Simon, you little fucking pervert. Were you watching me have sex with my wife in that kitchen just now?” Negan snickered and Simon felt like he was about to explode when Negan found his comment more of a joke as opposed to a serious comment. “With the ring, I usually take it off and put it on the chain in the morning and put it back on at night when I’m with her. I must have just fucking forgotten this morning. Don’t freak out man, it’s not fucking worth freaking out over. No one notices it, but you…”

“Negan, this whole Sanctuary can hear the two of you at night sometimes,” Simon watched Negan finish up the cake that he was eating before going for the one that he had brought Simon. Simon snatched the plate from Negan and reached for the fork that Negan was using. “And now you want to eat my fucking cake…”

“Wow…” Negan laughed thickly when Simon dug into the cake with an angered sound. “I don’t know what crawled up your ass today, but it’s kind of amusing Simon. You don’t think I’m watching my fucking wife at every corner? You don’t think I make sure that she is safe no matter what’s going on? You don’t think I freak out that someone is going to fucking attack her when I’m not looking? All I do is worry about someone coming after the only person I actually love in this fucking world. See though, you are making me say this out in public where people will be able to fucking hear me Simon. So instead of lecturing me about what I’m not doing right as a husband, how about you get off my fucking ass and mind your own fucking business? I’m trying to give her the best possible life I can and you being an asshole about every fucking move I make with her isn’t really working for me…”

“Negan,” Simon watched Negan closely as he stood from the table and Simon took a bite of the cake. “Might want to zip up your pants.”

“Fuck off Simon,” Negan looked down to see that his pants were in fact unzipped before zipping them back up cautiously and moving back toward the kitchen where Y/N was inside. Simon huffed heavily before hearing the sound of someone sitting down next to him.

“What do you want Arat?” Simon snapped and looked up to see that she was staring out at him with big eyes. “What?!”

“You and Negan aren’t getting along very well, huh?” Arat question and Simon snorted before going back to eating his cake. “If I were to place bets, it’s probably still about those people that you killed without asking first. Since then the two of you really haven’t been the same and…”

“Leave,” Simon demanded and Arat gave him a surprised expression before getting up to leave and move back to where she was originally. Simon shifted in his seat and looked to see that Negan was walking out of the kitchen with Y/N. Simon shifted on the seat he was at uncomfortably before clearing his throat. If Negan wanted to be an asshole about things, then Simon was going to do the same.

* * *

 

“What’s up sweetheart?” you muttered watching Negan huff heavily when you moved out into the dining area together. Negan’s eyes darted over toward where Simon was seated and you could feel the tension in Negan’s body when you reached out to caress over his shoulders. “Negan?”

“Go back in there for a minute,” Negan urged you toward the kitchen and you felt him reaching out to squeeze over your shoulders. There was something behind his hazel eyes that showed you he was upset. Reaching up, you brushed your fingertips into his hair and heard him sigh heavily. “Simon is getting on my last fucking nerve. The fucker is always up my ass about what he thinks I’m doing wrong with you. I forgot to put the ring back on the chain and he’s telling me that I’m out there risking you and shit. Apparently, I’m not allowed to have sex with you because we’re allowing everyone to see how close we are and I’m just opening you up for an attack. If I didn’t know that he had a fucking hard on for you, I’d be completely okay with the idea of him trying to watch out for you, but since I know what he’s like, I have no interest in hearing it.”

“You take care of me just fine,” you hushed him, sliding your hands down to cup his jaw softly. You turned his head softly so that he would focus on you and his eyes were staring into yours. “Don’t worry what he thinks. All that matters is what I think and I think you are doing a fine job taking care of me. I understand his worries, but I also understand why it upsets you baby.”

“I wish I could just wear this all the time,” Negan sighed, raising his hand up for you to see the wedding band over his finger. You smiled and leaned forward to press a loving kiss over his lips. Negan kissed you back, but still seemed quite upset about the topic. “I just…I want a family with you. I want to be normal and I fucking know that…”

“We’re working on it baby,” you tipped up on your toes to press another loving kiss over his lips. Negan frowned and hooked his arms loosely around your waist. “We’ll make everything work together. I swear.”

“I wish that things were just fucking different, you know? That the two of us could have met in a life where I was good and we could have had a family where I wasn’t…” Negan began to ramble and you reached out to slide your finger over his lips to silence him.

“There are so many wishes that we could make, but I couldn’t have asked for something better. This is the life that we were given and I am so thankful for it,” you assured him and he tipped down to press his forehead against yours. “I love you Negan.”

“I love you too,” Negan whispered and you watched him close his eyes before lowering down to pick you up to squeeze you closer to his chest for a hug. “So much.” 

* * *

 

Pushing at the soup that you had gotten yourself, you looked up to see that Negan was on the second level of The Sanctuary talking to some of The Saviors. Gulping down, you found your stomach somewhat turning and you knew that you weren’t very hungry, but you weren’t about to waste the food. Negan turned his head to look at you from where he was standing over the dining area and you breathed out heavily. Negan smiled and winked at you before going back to his discussion.

“So how is it being married to the big man upstairs?” a voice pressed in behind you and a pair of hands squeezed in over your shoulders. Looking over your shoulder, you could see the bright and big smile that pressed in over Simon’s lips. Simon dropped down next to you at the table and you let out a tight breath.

“Good afternoon to you too Simon,” you smiled brightly, trying to hide the annoyance that you had with the man since he had put Negan in such an off mood the last few days. When Simon slid in closer to you, you found yourself getting extremely uncomfortable. Your body stiffened up and you cleared your throat uncomfortably. “Whatcha doing?”

“I just figured I would ask you how it is being married to Negan. Is it everything that you dreamed of as a little girl growing up?” Simon almost sounded like he was mocking you and it pulled at your irritation for him. “I thought by now you would be sick of things considering he has his other wives. How are you handling Negan sleeping with his other wives?”

“Simon, what are you trying to do?” you gave him an odd glance before shifting in your seat so that you could move yourself from Simon. There was an odd expression over his features and you didn’t know what he was trying to pull.

“I’m just thinking of the things that I should have said to you before you married Negan. You do realize that being married to him means that you will eventually have to kill for him, right? I remember how badly you are against killing someone and I’m telling you…being in love with him means that’s exactly…” Simon was cut off when you held your hand up to silence him. Simon’s smile gradually disappeared from his face and he let out an irritated sound.

“Listen, I don’t know what you are trying to pull here, but you can’t convince me not to marry Negan when I married him weeks ago Simon. I realized then that the relationship would lead to complications. I was aware of that. I accepted that and I was ready to take it on then just as much as I am now,” you reminded Simon and knew that he was just trying to pull you further away from Negan. Simon’s dark eyes were looking up and you followed his glance after he cleared his throat to see Amber moving up to Negan. You felt a lump grow in your throat as you watched Negan smile and hold a conversation with her. Negan reached out to nudge her jaw with his fingertips and when Amber tipped up on her toes to kiss Negan, you saw Negan turn his head so that she kissed over his cheek. A satisfied sound fell from your lips as you took another bite of your soup and looked to Simon who seemed shocked with Negan’s response. “Why are you so against us being together Simon? You do realize that the first time I hooked up with Negan; it was because of you, right? If you remember, you told me to come to Negan when he was in his office. You let me and told me to do it.”

“That was until I knew that you deserved better,” Simon answered, watching you as you finished up the food that you had. You shrugged your shoulders and couldn’t believe this was actually how he was reacting to things. “One day something bad is going to happen that is going to make you regret marrying Negan, I can promise you that.”

“Thanks Simon,” you replied with a sarcastic tone, reaching out to pat Simon on the shoulder in a rough manner. Simon let out a tight breath before glaring out at you as you stood from the table. “Now if you will excuse me, I’ve got to go see my husband. Thank you for your concerns though.”

* * *

 

“Hey you,” Negan smiled looking up from the desk when you moved into his office. Negan was looking over some papers while you shut the door behind you. Negan’s hazel eyes lifted from what he was working on as you moved across the room toward him. Negan could tell that you were upset about something and he sighed heavily. Pushing away the things that he was working on, he moved across the room to wrap his arms around you lovingly. His chin rest against the top of your head and you cuddled your head in closer to his chest. “What’s going on sweetheart?”

“I don’t know if I should say,” you debated about the fact that Simon had been saying some nasty shit about Negan and realized that it may be for the best to keep it to yourself. You wanted to talk to Negan about everything, but at the same time you didn’t want to ruin their friendship. Negan’s fingertips caressed over the small of your back and you sighed when you leaned in closer to his warmth. “I just don’t know who to talk to about things.”

“I’m your husband, you should be able to come and talk to me about things,” Negan reminded you, bending down enough to press a loving kiss against your temple. Negan squeezed you tighter in his arms and you sighed. “It’s alright babe.”

“It’s just Simon, I don’t get why he is so…against us,” you breathed out and looked up to Negan. His eyes surveyed yours for a moment before shrugging. “I don’t even know where he began to think that the two of us…Simon and I had something more.”

“To be fair, you are a total badass and I get liking you,” Negan pointed out with a half smirk and you found yourself impressed that he was actually cracking a joke with the situation and not being extremely pissed. “Fucking honestly, if Simon was the one you fell in love with and got married to, I would be jealous as all hell. I understand what he is feeling, but he’s being a fucking asshole while doing it.”

“Yeah, I get that…” you pondered what he was saying and you gulped down heavily. “But I don’t want to be the thing that separates the two of you because if I am, I swear to God that will destroy me. It is my last…”

“The two of us haven’t been the same since…” Negan started to talk about something before shaking his head. “Let’s just say it was actually long before you got here.”

“I would have never guessed that something bad happened between the two of you. You guys seemed so…close?” you insisted and Negan sighed heavily. He reached for your hands and led you back toward his desk so he could sit on the edge of it. “Are you just saying that?”

“No, he did something against what I believed in,” Negan answered while he looked between you and the door. It was as if he was contemplating things. “I know you care for Simon as a friend and I know how you feel about certain things, so I’m not sure I should tell you what we were fighting about before you got here.”

“Negan…you can’t go and say that…” you snickered realizing the two of you were having a similar talk when you first walked into the room. “If there is something I should know.”

“You know how I run things and you don’t like the way I run some things, but there is one rule I live by. People are a resource, you don’t kill them because then we are pulling away from the image that I have for this world. The ideals of what I started here…” Negan reminded you of what he thought about the current situation and what he was doing. “I only kill who I have to…to make a point. Simon forgot that at one point and it didn’t work well for the two of us. Simon lets power get to his head and when that happens, sometimes he thinks he is the one in charge.”

“What does that mean?” you searched Negan’s eyes for a moment and he shrugged. “Simon seems so relaxed and chill.”

“Until you piss him off,” Negan corrected you with an uneven laugh. “There was this group of people right off the water. It was a great resource to work with and I sent Simon out there to take care of things. Someone shot one of my men and Simon took it into his hands to kill every male in the group that was over pre-teen age. You know I don’t fucking support that. Men are a good resource for what I’m reaching for here. They help produce, they help support The Sanctuary. Simon thought that because they killed one of my men that it made sense for him to kill every single man at the sight. We got in a massive fucking fight because of that one. I don’t want to kill kids, I just don’t and I don’t kill the many. I kill the few to save the many.”

“Are you serious?” you were flabbergasted at the idea. Simon being that kind of person absolutely blew you away. “You’re kidding, right?”

“Why would I need to kid about something like that?” Negan let out an irritated sound before nodding toward the door. “I still think he’s angry with me over it because Simon’s view of things is to kill until a point is made. My view is to kill as few people as possible, but do it in a way that makes a point.”

“I don’t agree with either way, but I’m fucking blown away with Simon. That’s so hard to picture, but I believe you,” you stated with a frown, thinking back to the man that you had become friends with over the months of living at The Sanctuary. “I’m sorry that happened. That must be hard to trust him now…”

“I trust him to a degree, but not with big life decisions like that,” Negan sighed, squeezing your hands tightly in his before shaking his head. “So as you can see, we were having some problems way before you came into the picture.”

“I hear you…” you bit down on your bottom lip thinking of some of the things that Simon said to you to try and scare you. “He thinks I’m going to have to kill to protect you one day because I’m married to you…”

“I would never make you fucking do that,” Negan quickly responded with a firm shake of his head. “I know your take on human life and while I may not do things you like, I would never force you to kill someone. Ever.”

“I know that baby,” you frowned, letting go of one of his hands to reach up to curl your fingers around the back of his neck to caress over it. “He was just saying things to me to try and question our relationship. That’s all and it just got me thinking.”

“You regret marrying my dumbass?” Negan teased, his nose wrinkling when he laughed thickly. “I bet you do.”

“No, I don’t…” you tipped on your toes to meet him in a long, drawn out kiss. Negan peppered a few more soft kisses over your lips before nodding toward the couch in the corner.

“I have a few things that I have to look over, but if you want to hang out in here, I’m alright with that,” Negan offered and you shook your head. “You sure?”

“I was thinking of going to see Daryl,” you informed him and Negan’s brows arched when he looked to you with a shocked expression. “I think we left off on a bad note.”

“I would suggest against that. He fucking hates me and knowing that you are married to me…” Negan sucked in sharply, his face scrunching up and you knew this was his way of trying to say no without telling you no. “People in a situation like that would hurt someone to get to someone else.”

“I realize that’s most of the world, but Daryl isn’t like that,” you explained, thinking back to the man that had originally saved you. “I want to give it a shot, just this once and if it doesn’t go well…”

“I’d really feel more comfortable if you didn’t,” Negan uneasily muttered and his lower lip curled into a frown. “Daryl is gonna be fucking furious with you and…”

“Negan,” you sighed, going in to kiss him again and Negan’s words slowly stopped. His dark eyes closed while he took in the sensation of you kissing him lovingly. “I’m going to be okay. I’m a strong girl, I can take care of myself, but I will bring Simon with me if that makes you feel better.”

“Just, don’t make it long, okay?” Negan begged after realizing that there was no changing your mind on the matter. You nodded and hugged his head in closer to your chest. Negan held you close before finally releasing you to watch you move back toward the door. “Just, be careful for fucks sake.”

* * *

 

Opening the door to Daryl’s cell carefully, you watched as the light began to filter the room and saw Daryl lift his head from the ground. It was clear that he was lying face first against the dirty ground, but when he saw you, he slowly started to pull himself up to a seated position in the corner of the room. Closing the door, you turned on the light that you brought with you and set it aside. You kept your distance from him and folded your arms uneasily in front of your chest. Daryl’s eyes were locked on you and he sure as hell didn’t look happy.

“I don’t want your damn food, if that’s what you’re doing here,” Daryl blurt out, a sense of disgust hidden behind his voice. “So if you are coming in here for that or some kind of apology, I don’t wanna hear it and I suggest you leave.”

“Daryl, this is a bit extreme, don’t you think?” you sighed heavily and Daryl’s eyebrows creased at your question. An angered sound fell from his lips as he shook his head and rolled his eyes. “I know that you think I’m a bad person for being married to Negan, but…”

“Oh, that’s a fucking understatement,” Daryl spit out and you felt your heart sink at his response. You nodded slowly and watched Daryl’s scowl grow over his face. “How can someone know what a monster someone is and yet they still love them? How can someone see and know that someone kills people with no remorse, yet still marry them? As you said, you’re fucking in love with the bad guy. I’d say you are worse than a bad person. You are just as fucking awful as he is.”

“There are things that you will never begin to understand, but I know why you are mad,” you tried to reason with Daryl, but it was clear that he wasn’t having any of it. Daryl’s blue eyes were glaring out at you and it made you feel bad for everything. “You are my friend Daryl, what I feel for you…what you did for me…”

“I regret it. Every last bit of it,” Daryl interrupted you and his drawl came out slow, but very serious. “I should have left you to get eaten by those walkers. It would have made the world a better fucking place. You weren’t worth it.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way,” you took a minute to respond and felt your jaw tightening. “I don’t agree with the way that Negan runs things here. I don’t, but there are parts of Negan that I know that no one else does. There is good to him and I don’t expect you to believe me.”

“Let me tell you something,” Daryl began his voice cracking as he spoke. “You better hope I don’t get out of here. Because if I do, I am going to make sure that this place is burned to the ground. I’m going to make sure that everyone that is here is going to die. I am going to make sure that I kill Dwight first. Then, I’m going to find you and your husband…after that, I’m going to make sure that I torture the both of you in front of each other. When I’m done and I’ve have enough, I’m gonna kill Negan in front of you. When that’s done, I’m gonna make sure that you are in here when I burn this place to the ground.”

Stepping back, you gave Daryl a sideways glance feeling your whole body locking up at the way he said that. By the way he said it and the way he was looking out at you, you actually believed him. Gulping down, you felt your body shaking, but you tried to hide your reaction from him.

“So instead of telling me how you are going to save me and get me outta here…” Daryl spoke up again, his jaw flexing as he spoke. “You better start preparing for what might actually happen when I do…”

“And I thought you were the good guy,” you muttered, reaching in your back pocket for the granola bar you had brought for him. Lowering down, you went to set the bar down before hearing the sound of shifting. Without any time to react, you felt the weight of Daryl slamming you up against the wall. His breathing was thick as his dirty fingers grasped firmly to your throat. A hiss fell from your lips as Daryl’s face was pressed in closer to yours.

“I could fucking kill you right now,” Daryl threatened and your eyes narrowed out at him. You weren’t about to act scared. You had been down this road before and while you were scared, you weren’t going to let him know. “And you know what’s fucking sad? You think that Negan would give a shit that you were dead. That he would care, but he wouldn’t. He has several other women to replace you with. You are just a sick and twisted little girl that thinks being with the bad guy is fucking fun…”

The grasp around your throat tightened and you tensed up in Daryl’s arms. Your eyes tried to read his, but it was hard to see where he was going with things.

“Just fucking know…that I’m gonna be the man that ruins your happy little life you’ve got going here,” Daryl stammered and could feel your rage building up inside of you with the way he was talking to you. “And I can’t wait to see a walker chowing down on that pretty little face of yours…”

“Fuck you Daryl,” you used your power to shove the man away from you, watching him stumble back. He was weak and you knew that the only reason you could overpower him was because of him being treated the way he was. “All this time…I thought you were a good person, but you are no better than the man you think Negan is. You know, Negan told me what happened with Glenn. What Negan did was wrong and I’ll never forgive him for it, but if you would have never hit him in the first place…Glenn would still be here.”

A moment later you felt the firm smack of Daryl’s hand across your face and whimpered out when you turned away from the hit. Thinking out your next action, you nodded and stepped away from Daryl slowly.

“You’re lucky I still care about you because if I didn’t, you’d be dead for that,” you reached up to press your fingertips over your burning flesh and you saw Daryl’s narrow eyes staring out at you. “Now I have to come up with a way to not have them come in here for this…but that’s what awful people do. Right? Make sure that people don’t get hurt after they’ve just been hit.”

“I don’t give a shit what you do,” Daryl kicked his foot into the granola bar that was sitting on the ground before dropping down in the corner of the room. Slowly, you stepped out of the cell and closed the door behind you, surprised when you didn’t find Simon standing exactly outside the door.

Hearing the sounds of people talking, you followed the sounds around the corner to see that Simon was talking to a man. You watched them whispering to each other and you tilted your head to the side when Simon reached to pull a gun from his pants. The man accepted the gun and quickly hid it before Simon spoke up loud enough to hear.

“You take care of me and I’ll take care of you,” Simon responded, reaching out to squeeze the man’s shoulder and you quickly back stepped. Standing outside the cell door, you could see Simon slowing down when he saw you there. A frown pressed in over his lips before he gulped down and saw the flaming red mark that was over the side of your face. “The hell happened in there?”

“Nothing,” you lied, realizing that Daryl must have left a pretty good mark on you. When Simon looked over your face, you could see him going to shove you aside to get to the door and you grabbed a tight hold of him. “If you care about me in the slightest of ways, you are going to find a way to help me make sure this doesn’t bruise because if Negan finds out he hit me, he’s dead. And if he dies…I will never forgive you.”

“I listen to Negan, not you,” Simon growled, pulling his wrist from you after you had wrapped your hand around it. Simon stepped for the door and you watched him think things over for a moment before making sure the cell was locked. Simon turned on his heel and reached for your wrist to tug you through the lower floor of The Sanctuary before you reached the kitchen. Inside, Simon nudged you toward the counter to sit on top of it while he went for something in the freezer. When he came back, you felt the coolness of something iced over pressing against your face and you winced. “Keep that on there…”

“Thanks,” you muttered knowing that the only reason Simon did this was to prove to you that he cared about you. “I mean it.’

“Yeah,” Simon avoided eye contact with you before moving across the kitchen to fold his arms out in front of his chest. “It’s gonna leave a mark. You know that right? And Negan is going to know it was the red neck’s fault. You have to come up with a story or else it’s not gonna work.”

“We’ll think of something,” you agreed with him and could see his dark brown eyes watching you closely. “Either way, thank you for your help.”


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something happens to Negan that makes the reader question Simon's loyalty to Negan and she presses Simon to find out why he is acting the way he is.

“Hold on,” Negan looked between you and Simon after leaving his office. Negan propped Lucille against the wall when he made his way out and caressed over his bare arms. Negan had left his jacket off in the office to follow you guys out into the hallway to see what was going on. After you had told him the lie of what happened, Simon had walked into the hall and the both of you followed. Simon rest back against the wall, clearing his throat uneasily when you looked to Simon, hoping he’d keep up with the lie. Negan looked between the both of you as if confused and trying to register what happened. When neither one of you spoke up, Negan shrugged his shoulders and let out a confused breath. “You got the bruise under your eye from falling up the stairs?”

“Hit herself pretty good. You can go talk to the doc if you like. When it happened, that’s the first place we went. Didn’t even make it to Daryl’s cell. She smacked that pretty little face of hers right up against that sucker,” Simon looked to you knowing that he was lying, but had even got the doc in on the lie. Apparently Doctor Carson owed Simon a few favors and this was one that Simon was calling in. “It was bad. We were walking up to grab something, footing slipped right out underneath her and hit her cheekbone right on the edge.”

“Are you feeling okay?” Negan moved out to press his hand in over the side of your face to trace over the small amount of bruising that was left from the smack Daryl gave you. Clearing your throat uneasily, you nodded and let out a sigh. “Thanks for taking care of her.”

“Anytime,” Simon gave you a final look before you nodded and gulped down heavily. Simon slowly walked away and you felt Negan’s arms wrapping around you tightly. Negan hugged you close and you could feel him pulling you in closer to his chest.

“You are my little trouble maker, aren’t you?” Negan teased with a half laugh, pressing a soft kiss against the side of your face and you took in a deep breath. You hated lying to Negan, but in this case it was for the best. Negan’s nose nestled against the side of your neck and you sighed heavily. “Maybe you should watch where you are walking sometimes. It might keep you from falling on your damn face, gorgeous.”

“Oh, shut up…” you poked him in the ribs and could see that off in the distance a few people were staring and watching the two of you. You realized there was really hiding no more that the two of you were close. No one knew you were married except for Simon, but it clearly still shocked people to see Negan so good with someone. Negan laughed against the side of your neck and nipped at your skin before you softly pulled away enough to get him to look at you. “I just lost my stepping.”

“Pushing the teasing aside, it’s not because of you hitting your head a while back, right? Did Carson get a good look at you because if something is going wrong…?” Negan’s eyes looked worried as he reached out to softly brush his thumb under the bruise on your face. There was a concerned expression over his face and you tried to brush it off.

“I’m okay Negan,” your fingertips wrapped around his wrist and you felt his other hand sliding in over your jaw to caress over it tenderly. “I promise.”

“I don’t want anything bad to happen to. You are the most important thing to me here and I don’t know what I would fucking do without you,” Negan’s palms slid in over the side of your face and the warmth caused you to let out a pleasant sight. How affectionate Negan was with you absolutely warmed you up and you hated lying to him. Negan leaned in to press another loving kiss against your forehead and you felt guilty. “I love you…so fucking much.”

“I just…” you began when a loud popping sound filled the air and you felt Negan jump. His body tensed up in shock and then another shot filled the air making you realize that it was a gunshot and Negan instinctively pressed in front of you to keep you safe. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know…” Negan reached for Lucille from where she was resting against the wall and kept his arm in front of you while trying to survey the area. People were screaming from downstairs and Negan looked back over his shoulder at you. The expression over Negan’s face turned very serious and it was clear that he was going to try to find out what was happening. “Get in my office! Go, now!”

“No, I’m not gonna…” you bickered hearing another shot fill the air and Negan turned to you to try to get you to a safe place. “Negan! I’m not leaving you.”

“Would you just listen to me for once?” Negan begged and before you knew what was happening, you heard another shot that was much louder this time and felt Negan fall in over you. The sound of Lucille hitting the floor was heard and you clung to Negan. Your heart started to pound inside of your chest as you fell to the ground with him. Negan managed to still push himself over you and you could see blood soaking through his white t-shirt. You didn’t know where he was hit or how bad it was, but all Negan seemed to focus on was the idea of keeping you safe. When you finally comprehended what was happening, you saw a gun pointed out at Negan and saw Negan’s hands slowly rising up. “Hey now, what’s going on?”

“Stand up,” the man ordered and you clung to Negan not wanting him to move, but you saw Negan watching the man closely and Negan shook his head.

“I’m not gonna let you hurt her,” Negan snarled and you realized that Negan thought it was one of the people that tried to hurt you in the past. That he may have been a member of the group that attacked you and Simon a while back. “So you’re the person that left those photos, huh?”

“What?” the man questioned with a confused breath before waving his gun around. “I’m not here for her. I’m here for you. I’m sick of the way that things are being run, I’m sick of you and you this has to end. Now!”

“For me?” Negan muttered and looked over his shoulder at you, his head slowly nodded before he carefully got up. A wince fell from Negan’s lips as he watched the man follow his movements while continuing to point the gun at him. Negan’s hand pressed in over his upper arm where the blood was seeping through the shirt. Negan looked to you and you could see the color almost draining from his face. “Get in my office Y/N…”

“Negan, no…” you shook your head, watching Negan trying to keep the shooter focused off you. Your heart was hammering in your chest and it felt like the world was spinning around you as the shooter started yelling at Negan again.

“Get on your knees!” the shooter demanded and Negan nodded when you scrambled to his office, leaving him.

“Let’s talk, okay?” Negan bargained and the shooter stepped in closer to him. Negan tried to keep the shooter focused on his eyes while Negan stretched his fingers out, reaching out to try and wrap his fingertips around Lucille. “What are you looking for here? I know that you work here for me at The Sanctuary. Are you not happy with what you’re being given? Are you…”

“I’m not going to bargain with you Negan. That’s not part of the plan,” the man muttered pressing the barrel of the gun up against Negan’s forehead and Negan’s breathing got heavy. Negan grabbed a firm hold of Lucille, but the shooter had noticed Negan’s movements and kicked the bat out of Negan’s grasp. Negan fell forward and the sound of the hammer being pulled back on the gun was heard. “Goodbye Negan.”

“Wait!” Negan stammered and the sound of a gunshot filled the air followed by another. Negan locked up on his hands and knees feeling blood splatter across his face followed by the sound of the body before him dropping to the ground hard. Negan looked over the body wondering what the hell happened, until he looked over his shoulder to see that you were standing in the doorway to his office holding his gun that he had left in his office with his jacket. Your hand was shaking and trembling as Negan scrambled to his feet and quickly reached out to wrap his arms around you. Negan’s nervous breathing filled the air, but you were too shaken up to respond to anything right now. “Baby…”

“Negan…” you trembled in his arms feeling your hand shaking and your fingers were still clinging to the gun tightly. Negan noticed how bad you were shaking and pulled away enough to place his hand over the top of the gun to get you to lower it. Your eyes finally met his and he nodded slowly. “I just…”

“It’s alright baby,” Negan hushed, reaching for the gun to get you to release it and when you did he took the gun and wrapped his arms around you tightly. The fact that you had just killed someone terrified you. You had killed plenty of walkers in the past, but this…this was totally different. In the moment, there was nothing that you could think of more than saving Negan, but now that you had killed the man, you found yourself completely shaken up. When you had shot the man, it has caused him to jolt and shoot his gun off into the wall. So it was obvious that you had saved Negan’s life, but at the same time you were still mortified with what you had done. Negan was holding you close, brushing his hand throughout your hair when you began to cry. “Everything is okay sweetheart.”

“I’m sorry, I just didn’t know what else to do,” you explained, feeling Negan’s soothing and comforting words trying to calm you down. Out of the corner of your eye you could see Simon running up the steps and Negan turned to look at him as Simon approached.

“Holy shit, are you okay?” Simon muttered once he got close enough and saw that Negan was bleeding through his shirt. Some of Negan’s blood had splattered across you and it was obvious that Simon was trying to survey if you had gotten hurt. Pulling away from Negan, you looked at Negan’s arm and watched Negan reach to pull up the shirt to show that the bullet had just gone through the fleshy part of his upper arm.

“It just grazed me,” Negan answered before looking to you again. His hand wrapped around the back of your neck to pull you in closer to him so you could rest your head against the inside of his shoulder. Negan pressed a loving kiss against your temple before looking to Simon with an angered expression. “Where the hell were you? You are supposed to be my right hand man! Do you know how many shots I heard before he got up here? You should have been here after the first!”

“I was over by the cells and I came as soon as they told me what was happening. You can’t hear shit over there,” Simon insisted and you heard the sounds of people running up the stairs not long after Simon. You saw the doctor running up to the two of you and when he saw Negan bleeding, you watched the doctor survey Negan’s arm. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here to protect you. I’ll get this cleaned up.”

“We need to get this stitched up Negan,” the doctor suggested and Negan looked to you with a cautious expression. It was clear that Negan didn’t want to leave you and cared more about your mental state than his actual blood loss. “You can’t keep bleeding like this.”

“Go,” you urged Negan to take care of himself and Negan looked to Simon. Negan was more important than what you were going through and you knew that.

“Keep her safe,” Negan ordered and Simon nodded. The doctor led Negan to the stairs to take him down to get his wound stitched up while you felt Simon’s hand squeezing in over your shoulder supportively.

“You alright?” Simon stammered and he looked upset, almost confused. You shook your head and softly pulled away from him before stepping back. It was obvious that Simon wanted to say something, but clearly change his mind after just staring at you for a few moments.

You watched Simon moving over to the body on the ground to grab the gun. Looking over to the man that you shot, you let out a hesitant breath when you finally got a clean look of his face. Everything happened so fast that you never truly recognized who the guy was.

“Everything okay?” Simon called out from beside the body when he clearly took notice of your color draining from your face. Stepping back and away from the area, you felt your back hit the wall and could feel your heart pounding inside of your chest. “Hey, are you hurt? Did you get hit by the bullet?”

“No,” you quickly answered when Simon got up and moved out toward you. When he went to reach out for you, you pulled away and shook your head slowly. Simon was confused and clearly thought that something was physically wrong with you. “I just…I need some air.”  

“Hey, I get it. You are shaken up. You shot someone to save Negan,” Simon pointed out with a heavy sigh and nodded back toward the dead body on the ground. “That’s scary, but the both of you are alive. Everything is going to be okay. Thanks to your fantastic fucking aim…”

Simon reached out to touch the side of your face and you bit back a sound of displeasure. Simon caressed over your cheek with his thumb and it was so hard to hold back what you were really feel before he walked away to go back to cleaning things up. There were a few Saviors that came to help him and you stepped in closer to look at the body. Taking another firm look at the face of the shooter you realized you weren’t wrong in who you thought it was. It was the man that Simon had given the gun to earlier in the day.

“You sure you’re okay?” Simon looked up at you with his brown eyes, trying to read what was happening. “You look like you are going to black out.”

“I probably am,” you answered, nodding toward the hallway so you could get away for a moment. “I’m going to be right over there. I need…some space…”

“Just call for me if you need anything,” Simon suggested and you nodded. Truth be told, you just needed to get the fuck away from Simon to think about what happened.

Knowing what you did, you wondered where you were going to go from there. Were you going to tell Negan? Had Simon planned this all along? Was Simon someone that you could truly trust? What the hell was going on? There was only one thing you knew and that was that Simon had convinced that man to come after Negan. Simon even gave him the gun. That alone told you that something serious was happening and something had to be done about it.

* * *

 

Resting your back against the wall, you looked around the corner of the hallway to see that they were still mopping up the area that the body was at earlier. Clearing your throat uneasily, you found yourself having an inner turmoil going on in your mind. It had been at least an hour since it happened and you were still as confused as ever about everything. You were upset with both killing someone and the idea that Simon had been the person to lead the shooter into coming after Negan. Two things of which you weren’t okay at all with. Simon lifted his eyes to meet yours to check if you were okay and instantly you turned your head. You didn’t even want to look at him right now.

Standing to your feet, you walked a little further down the hallway and leaned forward to rest your forehead up against the cool wall. This was all too much to take. You almost wished that you were in some kind of nightmare right now, but you knew all too well that this was real and it terrified you.

Your body was still shaking and you could feel your heart pounding in your chest. You told yourself that you would never kill someone, but you had done it so easily in saving Negan. Something Simon told you that you would have to do at some point. That point came up rather fast and it was all because of Simon that it had to be done.

The grasp of someone grabbing a hold of you was felt and a gasp fell from your lips when you felt your body being slammed up against the wall. Before there was time to react, a familiar pair of lips covered yours and kissed you heavily. A whimper fell from your lips when you felt Negan biting into your bottom lip to tug it softly with his teeth. His movements were sudden and forceful which gave you barely enough time to react at all.

“Negan…” you muttered, feeling his hands sliding in over your bottom to squeeze over it and pull you flush against him. Another cry fell from your lips when you felt his hand reach up to yank into your hair to pull your head back. Negan’s mouth pressed in over the side of your neck and dragged his lip up toward your jaw before biting at the skin. The motion caused a sharp breath to fall from your lips as your hands clung to Negan tightly. “What are you doing?”

“You saved my life…you killed someone for me,” Negan reminded you as his breathing intensified and you felt his mouth covering yours again. Negan’s kisses were desperate and you felt his hips bucking in closer to you. It caused a whimper to fall from your lips as you felt him hard against you. What killing someone had done for you had left quite the opposite reaction for Negan. “You have no idea what that’s done to me.”

“This isn’t the place,” you gasped when Negan’s hands squeezed harder over your bottom. Negan was palming over the flesh again and again until you felt his tongue slipping back between your lips. The force at which he was kissing and touching showed just how desperate he was for you. Pulling away barely gave you enough time before Negan’s mouth was over the side of your neck again. “Negan, your Saviors…”

“I don’t fucking care, I have to fucking have you right now,” Negan grunted against your skin and you felt his hands at the top of your pants. Trying to press your hands over his, you weren’t exactly comfortable with the idea of getting busy in front of any of The Saviors that wanted to watch. Being with Negan had changed a lot of things for you, but becoming an exhibitionist was not quite one of those things yet. “Baby…if they are so desperate that they need to watch two people who are in love and just lived through a possible nightmare have sex…then good for fucking them. I don’t give a shit…”

“You’re not the one that will be completely exposed…” you pointed out with a huff and Negan grunted before stepping back and away from you. Watching him closely, you saw him start to unbuckle his pants and you looked around in the hallway. No one was in there right now, but right around the corner was Simon and a few of The Saviors. Negan pulled the belt apart and quickly undid it before reaching for the zipper in his pants. “Your office…?”

“I want you right here,” Negan shook his head, shoving the pants down his body and to his ankles. You gulped heavily when you saw the large bulge in his gray boxer briefs. There was no doubt that Negan had his mind absolutely set on this. Negan reached down to squeeze over the bulge a few times before pushing his fingertips into the waistband of his boxer briefs and pushing them down to his ankles as well. You felt your cheeks blushing over as you watched Negan hold his hands up and look in both directions. Just the sight of him before you caused your body to heat up. “My ass and my dick are completely exposed now. So we can both be the same way.”

“Negan,” you rolled your eyes with a laugh as he stepped forward to grab a tight hold of your hips to pull you close to him. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Not that big of a deal? Not that big of a fucking deal?” Negan snorted, reaching for your pants to quickly unbuckle them and tug them down. You could feel your body trembling at the touch when he got the material to your ankles. Negan grunted when he couldn’t get the material from your body and you huffed out heavily. Negan got to his knees and reached for the shoes you had on, pulling them from your feet and then tugged at the material. His tug was so rough that you almost fell over and had to brace yourself against the wall before you. “You fucking saved my life, if I wasn’t bleeding all over the place, I would have fucked you right then and there…”

“Negan,” you gasped, watching him toss the material of your pants aside before standing up to shove you against the wall. A whine fell from your lips when you felt him reaching for your right leg to pull it up to wrap it around his waist. Negan’s fingers reached down to push aside your panties and you gulped heavily. It was so hard to say no to Negan with him so desperate.

“So that way you aren’t completely exposed…” Negan rumbled and you looked down to see him grabbing a hold of his throbbing erection. Negan caressed over it few times before stepping forward to tease his tip over your wet slit making you whimper out at the sensation. Negan wasted no time in thrusting up into you completely and you cried out loudly. Negan’s lips covered yours as he started to forcefully thrust into you again and again. Negan’s right hand was clinging to your thigh to keep it up around his waist while his left reached down to hook his fingers with yours and slam your hand up against the wall. “That was the second fucking time you’ve saved my life…”

“Jesus Negan…” you cried out feeling him bucking up into you again and again. The way he continued to fill you completely made your body tremble and shake. Goosebumps pressed in over your skin and you felt like you were just as desperate as he was at this point to get some kind of release.  Biting down on your bottom lip, you tried to silence yourself, but when you did that, Negan bucked up harder against you. He wanted you loud and he wasn’t going to let you silence yourself.

There was no way that he was going to allow you to be quiet and you would have rather this been sneakier. Negan’s mouth was back over yours, silencing you of your words while the smacking of his hips pressed in over yours. You could feel Negan filling you completely again and again while you cried out into his mouth. His fingertips were digging into your skin and you gradually began to rock your hips against his movements. Maybe it was the idea of being caught, but you could feel your body craving this and it surprised you. It could have been from the adrenaline of having the event happen or your mind desperately searching for something to feel good about instead of feeling bad about killing someone. Either way, this felt amazing.  

“Fucking hell…” Negan breathed against your lips, his brows furrowing and you reached with your free hand to tug throughout his dark hair. Negan nestled his nose against the side of your neck, his grunts and groans filling the air as his length continued to pound in and out of you. “You killed someone to save me. You have no idea how much that shows you fucking love me…”

Negan’s words were warm against your neck as you felt his hand slip from yours to reach for your other thigh to lift you from the ground and urge your legs around his waist. Throwing your head back, you grasped onto Negan’s shoulders hoping that he wouldn’t drop you since his arm was injured and just had stitches in it.

“I fucking love you so much,” Negan bit at the side of your neck and you hissed out when his thrusts got harder beneath you. His hip bones were smacking up against you and he was plunging so deeply within you that your lower half was starting to tingle. “You’d do any fucking thing for me wouldn’t ya? Huh?”

Gasping out, you felt Negan’s thrusts get slower, but more prominent and you nodded slowly. Grasping tightly to him, you pressed your lips in over the side of his neck and look up to see that Simon was standing at the end of the hallway. Kissing at Negan’s skin softly, you watched Simon before speaking, “Anything.”

Your answer caused the excitement to return to Negan’s thrusts and you cried out giving Simon one last glance before reaching for Negan’s hair to pull his head back so that you could kiss him again. If there was anything that today proved to you, it was that you would do absolutely anything for Negan and that Simon could not be trusted.

* * *

 

It wasn’t often that you had a hard time sleeping since you had been married to Negan. After the two of you were married, you actually slept better than you did most of your life. With Negan’s arms around you at night, you had always felt protected and safe. Right now with Negan sleeping beside you with his arm wrapped around your waist supportively, you couldn’t sleep at all. After Negan and you had finished sex in the hallway, Negan wanted to go to his room and end his day there with you. Negan slept easily as soon as your conversation ended after you returned to his room. First he had talked to you about what happened. It was odd how supportive Negan really was about you being upset about killing someone for him. It turned him on that you did it, but he was also very supportive about how much you were upset from it happening. Negan understood that you never wanted to kill someone and the fact that you did really fucked you up. What made it worse was knowing that the person you had become closest to while being at The Sanctuary was likely to fault.

Earlier when you got back to the room, Negan kept talking about how you were feeling. You couldn’t really describe to him that how you were feeling was numb. Simon told you one day that you would have to kill for Negan and you did. Did that make you a bad person? You had no idea what had gone on between Negan and the man you killed previously, all you knew was that someone was going to kill the man you loved, so you shot them. You didn’t care in then moment. You killed them and part of you put the blame on Simon, but the rest was entirely your fault. You killed someone, no questions asked to save Negan and yet you didn’t really regret it.

The only thing it did was make you think about what Daryl had said to you about being a bad person. How you were just as awful as Negan and you had wondered…was he right? Were you just as bad?

Looking to Negan, you could see his head cuddled up to pillow and he seemed to be sleeping peacefully. Reaching out, you brushed your fingertips into his messy hair and pushed it away from his eyes watching him shift.

“Hey…” Negan breathed, adjusting his head on the pillow and his tired eyes partially opened to stare out at you. A half-smile pressed in over his lips as he lifted his head from the pillow to meet your lips in a small kiss. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you caressed your hand in over his rough, stubble covered jaw. “So much.”

Negan smiled brightly before lowering his head back to the pillows and almost instantly fell asleep. Taking a moment to think things over, you carefully moved out from underneath Negan’s arm and made sure not to wake him up. Going through your things, you pulled on a pair of panties and then went for one of Negan’s t-shirts. Looking over your shoulder at Negan, you gulped down heavily and then went over toward Negan’s things to push through a few items that were his. After you grabbed what you wanted, you moved to the fridge to grab two beers and then went for your bag. Putting the items into your bag, you looked to Negan again and thought about what you were about to do.

Gulping down, you moved out of Negan’s room quietly and clung to the bag that was over your shoulder. Moving a few feet down the hallway, you stopped at a door and reached out to knock on it. Waiting a few seconds, you saw the door open and let out an uncomfortable sound when you saw Simon standing at the door. He was shirtless and the buckle in his pants was undone.

“What are you doing here?” Simon lifted his hand to rub at his tired eyes and you reached for your bag to pull out one of the beers you grabbed. Simon’s brow arched up and you cleared your throat uneasily.

“I wanted to thank you for not telling Negan about the whole Daryl thing today,” you began and Simon nodded slowly as he held onto the door. He pulled open the door and allowed you to walk in under his arm. Looking around his room, you cleared your throat when you heard the sound of Simon shutting the door.

“I take it Negan is sleeping and has no idea you are here?” Simon inquired and you nodded slowly, setting your bag on top of the couch in Simon’s room. You pulled it open enough to pull out the beers and set them down on the coffee table in front of the couch. “You brought two of Negan’s personal beers, huh? Are you planning on drinking with me?”

“I can’t,” you breathed out thinking about how you were attempting to get pregnant with Negan, but you weren’t about to share that information with Simon. Simon’s brow arched up in curiosity and you shrugged your shoulders. “I haven’t been the same since I hit my head, I just don’t want to feel less in control with the alcohol…”

“Ah,” Simon nodded and folded his muscular arms in front of his chiseled chest. The flexing of the muscles in his torso caught your attention and you felt your throat tightening up at the sight. “So you’re just here to talk to me about the whole Daryl thing, huh?”

“Kinda,” you answered and Simon moved over to the couch to drop down on it, looking up at you with his dark brown eyes. “I want to talk to you about us…”

“There is an us now?” Simon slurred with a sarcastic laugh and he shrugged his shoulders. “That’s new to me.”

“You were my best friend here before you became obsessed with the idea of me,” you reminded him and he sighed loudly. His eyes rolled and you shrugged your shoulders. “I thought that was something you were alright with. Instead you are obsessed with this idea of me. You think you want something that’s not even real to begin with.”

“Sounds a lot like someone I knew when they first started getting with Negan,” Simon snarled and you let out a tense laugh. You stepped before Simon and could see him eyeing you over. His eyes were centered in over your bare thighs and you gulped softly. “Negan doesn’t deserve you.”

“And you do?” you muttered, watching him closely as his dark eyes raised to meet yours. “What could you do for me that Negan can’t?”

“Negan is a bad man,” Simon insisted, his jaw twitching as he spoke and you could see him stretching out further on the couch to reveal more of his muscular body to your sight. “You know that.”

“I also know that you are too,” you informed him thinking back to what Negan had told you. His confused expression tried to read yours and you folded your arms in front of your chest. “Something about a group of people near the water…”

“Now that was just a misunderstanding,” Simon groaned out at the idea showing you that Negan wasn’t lying about what happened. “You would understand if you were there…”

“What I understand is that Negan doesn’t slaughter large groups of people just because,” you hissed out, catching the confused look that Simon gave you when you stepped forward. “You want me to believe Negan is bad, but you are no different. So if you want something, don’t feed me bullshit. Tell me what you really are…and then take what you want. Don’t tell me some stupid shit about how you are a good guy and then tell me that’s why you deserve me. You are just as bad as Negan, if not worse. You just try to sell it like you are the good guy.”

“I’ve been nothing, but good to you. I feel like you should judge a person based off how they are with you, not what they’ve done,” Simon insisted and stood from the couch to approach you, his tall body towering over you. You didn’t back down from him as you pressed your hand in over the center of his muscular chest to get him to step back. “I am a bad guy, I am. I think your husband is a fucking moron with the way that he kills people. He does it to make a point, to try and bully people into doing what he wants. That’s the problem. If Negan did what I thought he should, it would solve a lot of our problems. Killing large groups of people without giving a shit would stop these assholes from trying to attack us. Negan wants to make everyone work together. He wants us to be good friends and work together while he still is in charge. That shit doesn’t work unless people are fucking terrified of you. The only way to do that is make a point and a big one at that.”

Your eyebrows arched up, surprised at his outburst.

“Your husband has too much humanity in him and thinks that being the big bad guy with a sense of heart makes sense, but it fucking doesn’t. It makes us weak,” Simon snapped and he shook his head as he spoke. His chest was rising and falling heavily as he spoke up loud enough to you to just make a point, but not loud enough for anyone else to hear. “Yet I follow him…and I will continue to. I just know that I could protect you better. I could keep you safer and I know that I could please you so much more than he could. A man that needs multiple wives can’t be that good in the sack. There is a reason he tries to compensate and I know that I have what it takes to make you feel good.”

“And he doesn’t?” you breathed out, watching him shrug and bite down into his bottom lip. “You’ve heard us…”

“You were a virgin when you slept with him. You only know what he’s done…” Simon pointed out and you let out a sarcastic laugh when he reminded you of that. “People think they’ve got the world until they get a taste of something better.”

“And you think you are the something better?” you licked over your lips, seeing the way he nodded and looked you over. “Then prove it.”

“Seriously?” Simon hesitated and you shrugged your shoulders. “Is this a joke?”

“Do I look like I’m joking?” you breathed out reaching out to shove firmly into Simon’s chest, making him fall back onto his couch. Simon sat up straighter on the couch and stared up at you while his jaw clenched. “You think you can do better? Prove it.”

Simon’s dark, brown eyes stared up at you before he got to the edge of the couch and wrapped his arm around your waist to pull you closer to him. A tight breath fell from your lips as you felt Simon reaching for Negan’s shirt that was over your body to press it up your torso. Once your flesh was revealed to his sight, his mouth pressed in over your stomach and it felt so different having his facial hair brushing up against your skin in comparison to Negan’s. Simon’s tongue dragged out over your navel while his palm slid up and over your lower back under the shirt.

“That’s the best you got?” you laughed in a teasing tone when Simon’s glance rose to yours. His brows clenched together before he reached to roughly pull you in over his lap and you bit down on your bottom lip. Simon went to kiss you and you turned your head away from his. “The kissing is only for Negan…”

“Fucking seriously?” Simon complained and you raised your eyebrow up to see Simon frown. “Fine…”

Simon’s hand curled around the back of your neck to pull you in closer to him so that his mouth could descend over the side of your neck and his lips were rough against your skin. You slid your hands in over the front of his chest and down his abdomen to caress over his ripped abdomen. Tracing over the muscles, you could hear Simon let out a proud breath.

“I know Negan doesn’t have that. You like that, don’t you?” Simon breathed out against your skin and you bit down on your bottom lip. Your hands continued to trace over the firm lines of his abdomen and he tried to buck his hips up closer to you.  When you didn’t react, you heard Simon let out a small whine. “Is it just going to be me working here and you just taking it in?”

“I said prove to me that I want you,” you reminded him and Simon’s dark eyes watched you closely. It was clear that he wasn’t super sure in what you wanted, but determined to make you want him. “I didn’t say I was agreeing to anything.”

“Alright,” Simon’s hands squeezed over your thighs and toward your bottom to squeeze it firmly. “And if I prove to you that you want me?”

“Then anything can happen,” you nodded and Simon bit down on his bottom lip, urging you away slightly so he could reach for his pants to pull them open. Simon reached inside of his pants before pulling out his hardened erection making you shift uneasily over him.

“I told you I’m not small,” Simon fisted over his body showing you just how hard the interaction with you had made him. Simon’s lips were back at your neck as you bit into your bottom lip.

“You’re still no Negan,” you informed him and Simon pulled back to look up at you. “You’re right, you aren’t small, but Negan is bigger.”

“Don’t knock it until you try it,” Simon slurred with a laugh before leaning forward to kiss over your neck again. Carefully moving over Simon, you reached for the item that was Negan’s in your bag, pulling it out carefully while Simon was focused on what he was doing to you. Grasping it tightly in your right hand, you used your left hand to firmly press into Simon’s neck to shove him back against the couch. A wince escaped his lips with how hard you were holding onto his neck followed by a whimper when he felt a coolness press in over the base of his cock. Looking down, he saw that you had Negan’s large hunting knife pressed up against him and he laughed. “Now I know why Negan likes you…”

“I suggest you not move if you want to keep your dick,” you warned and Simon snickered. “I know what you did.”

“You don’t have it in you to hurt someone,” Simon pointed out and you raised the knife to drag the tip of it down over his abdomen to cause a small wound over his skin before returning the knife to where it was. Looking over the blood that was dripping down his skin, you heard Simon hiss and nod. “Alright, point proven. What did I do?”

“You made that guy attack Negan today. I don’t know why, but I saw you when I left Daryl’s cell giving him the gun. You’re the one that set it up for him to try and kill Negan,” you growled and watching the color drain from Simon’s face as he stared out at you. Your fingers dug tighter into Simon’s skin and he winced. “I saw it. You take care of me and I’ll take care of you. You remember saying that?”

Simon nodded, his tongue dragging out over his bottom lip as he winced when you pressed the large knife closer to his skin.

“And you told Negan?” Simon questioned and your eyes narrowed out at him. “To be honest with you, I had no idea that Negan wouldn’t have his weapons on him. Usually he is always prepared for an attack. It’s just around you…around you he makes himself vulnerable.”

“Oh, bullshit,” you blurted out with an angered sound and Simon made a nervous breath when he looked to the blade that was still pressed up against him. “Why’d you do it?”

“You have a huge fucking ass blade up against my cock; I’m not about to fucking lie to you. I did it because I wanted you to think that Negan did something bad to them. If you saw someone attack Negan you would think that Negan did something to wrong him. I never thought it would get as far as it did. I thought Negan would be prepared for it when he heard the original gunshots,” Simon answered, his words coming out fast as he met your angered eyes. “I didn’t know Negan had his weapons belt off. I didn’t know he would be too focused on you. You saw it; I couldn’t have planned all of this. I didn’t know Daryl was going to hit you. I swear to God, if I wanted Negan dead, I’d do it myself. I just…I wanted you to regret marrying him. I wanted you to see Negan kill him ruthlessly so you would come to me.”

“Negan got shot,” you snapped at Simon hearing him let out a tense breath when you moved. Simon was breathing heavily and nodded. “Negan got hurt because of you.”

“But I also proved to you that I was right,” Simon stated with a tight breath and you pulled the knife from his penis and pressed it to his neck. Simon tipped his head back and let out a hesitant breath. “I told you that you’d have to hurt people because of Negan. You won’t be able to keep the same morals being with him. You’re letting your friend rot in a cell while you stay married to Negan. You killed someone because you love Negan. You are becoming someone you don’t want to be because you are married to him.”

“That doesn’t change the fact you tried to kill him today,” you reminded him and he bit firmly into his bottom lip. “Even if you didn’t think it would go as far as it did.”

“I didn’t expect Negan to get hurt, but you are right, I should have thought it was possible it would happen,” Simon agreed with you and he shifted beneath you while you dug the blade further against his skin. You watched the blade break the skin slightly and Simon hissed out. A small line of blood dripped down Simon’s neck and he froze up, not wanting to injure himself further. “I guess I let my feelings for you cloud my judgement, just like Negan does…”

“And you’re not the person that was involved with that group of people that attacked us? That came after me?” you had to know and confirm it. Simon’s face twisted up with anger and irritation after your question, showing his distaste for it. “You want to hurt Negan…”

“I got injured that day too! I would not do something to hurt you, I swear,” Simon stammered and you gulped heavily. “I may have wanted to get you away from Negan, but my intentions were not to get you hurt or for Negan to even get hurt. It was to prove a point to you and that was all…I swear. Call me evil, call me a shitty friend, and call me whatever you want, but I’m not fucking lying to you.”

“If you ever try to pull something like that again, I swear to God you will be dead by my hand,” you warned and Simon nodded before you pulled the knife away from his neck. Getting off his lap, you heard him let out a relieved breath and you gathered yourself. Shoving the knife back into your bag, you saw Simon’s hands pressing in over his face. “I hate that you ruined our friendship over this. What we had was good and you just…had to be this way.”

“I’m still going to follow Negan. I don’t plan on trying to do anything more. I just…wasn’t thinking,” Simon insisted, lowering his hands from his face so that he could look over at you with a frown. “Are you going to tell Negan about this?”

“No,” you answered truthfully knowing that you weren’t ready for this shit to hit the fan. You were already upset enough with yourself about killing someone that you didn’t want to bother with this. As long as Simon kept his word, that was all that mattered. “I will kill you if you hurt him though. I’m not kidding and…I belong to Negan, Simon. I’m never…ever going to change my mind and want to be with you. I care for you, but I want to be with Negan. So please…”

“I get it,” Simon frowned in response and he looked down at his body inspecting to make sure you didn’t cut certain areas.

“I can’t believe you are still erect,” you huffed, uncomfortably looking away and Simon let out a tight laugh.

“You just manhandled the fuck out of me. That shit turns some men on. I guarantee your husband would be one of those people,” Simon winced, pushing himself back into his pants and you found yourself overly uncomfortable. “But I get the point. I keep your secret, you keep mine and if I don’t follow the rules, I’m dead. I get it. And sadly, I care about you enough to make sure that I follow through with your wishes. Something I know Negan wouldn’t do if it was reversed.”

Staring out at Simon for a moment, you grabbed your bag and then headed back to Negan’s room. You carefully moved back into the room and headed for Negan’s personal bathroom. Pulling off the clothes, you got into his shower and made sure to scrub extra hard at the areas that Simon had kissed you. You could feel yourself rubbing your skin raw, but you could still feel in your mind the sensation of Simon’s lips on you and you hated it.

“Baby?” Negan’s breath spoke up and you could see Negan pushing aside the curtain of the shower. His confused expression looked you over and he could see your skin was red from your scrubbing. Negan reached out to turn off the water and breathed in sharply. “Are you okay?”

Shaking your head, you felt Negan reaching out to pull you in for a tight hug and you clung to him as he held you in his arms. Your head nestled against his chest as you trembled in his grasps, thinking about the man you had killed and you felt even worse about it after what Simon had admitted to you. Negan caressed his fingertips through your wet hair before he kissed over your temple.

“Everything is going to be okay,” Negan hushed you when shook against him and you lifted your head enough to see the stitches that were over his upper arm. Negan looked in the direction you were staring and he shook his head. “I’m alright baby, everything is fine.”

Negan pulled you into another hug, but you still felt numb inside. Everything that happened today, all stemmed back to you and it killed you on the inside. Simon sent a random stranger to attack Negan to try and get you to see how awful Negan was, but it got Negan injured and some random stranger killed. It made you feel like a terrible person and you couldn’t help, but put a majority of the blame on yourself.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader still has a hard time with killing the person that attacked Negan and lets Simon's warnings about Negan bother her, so Negan does his best to try and relax her.

Shifting in bed, you let out a tight breath when you heard the sound of the door opening and closing. There was shuffling behind you as you look over your shoulder tiredly to see that Negan was setting up some food on the coffee table in front of the couch. Gulping down, you slowly sat up in bed and pulled the sheets closer to your body. When Negan heard the shuffling you made behind him, he looked over his shoulder and flashed you a bright smile before standing up straight. Negan rubbed his hands together and moved back toward the bed. He was still only wearing his gray boxer briefs that clung tightly to his body causing you to give him an odd look.

“Did you really go get food dressed like that?” you snickered as he licked his lips and sat down on the edge of the bed beside you. Shifting in the bed, you moved in closer to him and could feel his rough fingertips reaching out to caress over your arm. Negan’s smile pressed in over his gorgeous features as he leaned across the bed to press a soft loving kiss over your lips. “That was brave.”

“I don’t know, I probably made some folks have a better day than they thought they would,” Negan hummed against yours lips in a cocky tone and you pulled away with a laugh. Negan’s snort filled the air and his nose wrinkled when he laughed with you. “I’m just saying, I look mighty fucking fine like this and I know that someone people probably have dreamt seeing me this way.”

“After someone attacked you, it was brave going without your stuff,” you reminded him and he shrugged his shoulders. Negan’s expression became suddenly serious while his fingertips traced over the side of your face. When he brushed back your hair, you gulped and reached up to grab a hold of his hand. “I don’t want you hurt. Be careful next time.”

“It was just a quick run to get some food for us sweetheart, I’m okay,” Negan hushed you with a frown. It was clear that you were still worried about him. The last thing you wanted was him hurt and after he had gotten shot, the idea of losing him scared you so much more. “I’m fine.”

“I just can’t lose you,” you whispered with a small smile, reaching out to brush your fingertips into his dark hair. It was messy and you found yourself smiling while looking up at him. You bit down on your bottom lip and rose up to meet him in another soft kiss. “You mean too much to me.”

“Unfortunately, you are fucking stuck with me,” Negan winked and reached for your hand to pull you carefully up from the bed. He urged you over to the couch with him and took a seat before pulling you in over his lap. A gasp fell from your lips when he nestled his nose against the side of your neck. His tug had pulled you right off your feet, but the strength of his arms around you made you feel comfortable all over again. “I know I secretly drive you crazy.”

“You really do,” you agreed with him and heard the shocked breath that fell from his throat. His thick brows tensed and before you knew it, his fingers were teasing at your sides. Giggling, you tried to wiggle away from his tickling, but he wouldn’t let you out of his grasp. “I give up. You win.”

“You are so fucking adorable,” Negan growled against the side of your neck before tipping up to leave a few small love bites against your neck. “Now let’s eat before our food gets cold.”

“What do we have?” you felt him situate you over his lap more comfortably before reaching out to pull the top off the plate he had carried up. There was a stack of pancakes, some eggs and a few strawberries on the plate and you smiled. “Where is my happy face?”

“Ah, you like it when I do that?” Negan chuckled, his nose wrinkling when he looked up at you. “Maybe our baby will like that too…if we ever have one.”

“Negan,” you gulped down uneasily when you watched his eyes look sad after adding those last few words. Reaching out, you brushed your hand against the rough stubble of his cheek and nodded. “We’ll have a baby. I promise you that and it will love the smiley faces you put on the pancakes with fruit.”

Negan nodded and leaned his head forward, to rest his forehead against your collarbone. Lifting your hand up, you caressed over the back of his neck and twirled the small curls of hair around your fingertips. Tugging at his hair, you looked down at him and lowered down to press a loving kiss against his lips.

“I love you,” you informed him, rubbing the tip of your nose against his and you heard the loud breath that escaped his lips. You looked him over for another minute more before reaching for one of the strawberries from the plate. Raising it up to his lips, you teased it over his bottom lip for a moment before allowing him to bite into it.

“Mmm, I love you too,” Negan slurred when you kissed him again, tasting the sweet remainder of the strawberry against his mouth.

Turning in his lap for a moment, you cut up the pancakes and grabbed the plate before turning to face him. Negan’s right eyebrow perked up as he watched you closely when you brought the fork to his lips after picking up a few pieces of the pancakes.

“You’re feeding me now?” Negan smirked and you nodded, pushing it in closer to his lips. Negan opened his mouth and accepted the bite before you grabbed some for yourself. “Can I ask you something and not have you get…irritated with me?”

“You’re worried about irritating me? Who are you and where is my husband?” you teased bringing a forkful of the eggs up to his lips. Negan rolled his eyes and accepted the bite before you snickered. “I’m just teasing you big guy.”

“I know,” Negan watched you grab a strawberry for yourself and he shifted underneath you. “What was up with the shower? Scrubbing until you were raw…”

“Oh…” you stammered, looking down at the plate. Pushing some of the food around, you collected a few pieces of the pancakes and lifted it to his lips, but his eyes were watching you closely. “It’s hard to explain.”

“Try,” Negan suggested, shaking his head when you offered him the pancakes. You brought the pancakes to your own lips and slowly chewed at it, thinking of the right answer to give him. You couldn’t exactly say that it was because Simon’s lip were touching you in places that you didn’t want them to be, just so you could get an answer about what the hell he was doing. “Is this because of the man you killed?”

“Well, kind of,” you answered and pushed at the food on the plate again, but Negan reached for the plate and set it back on the coffee table to keep your focus. His large hands reached up to cup at the sides of your face and he urged you to look at him. “Negan…”

“Baby, you’re my wife. I’m your husband, you can fucking talk to me,” Negan insisted and you felt the ache in your chest growing. You had made a promise to never kill a living person and he knew that it meant something to you. “I know you aren’t opening up to me.”

“I just, it’s hard not picturing what I did to that man,” you recalled seeing what the man looked like dead and you gulped down heavily. “It just makes me feel dirty what I did.”

“Would you take back what you did?” Negan searched your eyes for a moment and you shook your head.

“No, I would do it again. Every time,” you assured him, your expression suddenly very serious. “I would save you again in a heartbeat. If given the chance again, I would do it, but Daryl just said something that…”

“Daryl said something?” Negan tilted his head to the side and you felt your jaw tightening. Negan rose up with his thumb to trace over the healing bruise from where Daryl had hit you. You knew that you told him you hit it falling up the stairs, but wondered if he caught onto the lie. “I thought you fell and didn’t get to see him.”

“Well, yeah…” you nodded, your heart skipped in your chest as Negan’s eyes were staring into yours. “I did fall. I’m talking about the last time I saw him. When I told him I was married to you. He told me I was a bad person. That I was going to get what I deserved and…”

“You’re not a bad person,” Negan let out a disgusted sound and he rolled his eyes. “He’s just pissed that you fell in love with me. They think I’m the spawn of Satan; of course he is going to say nasty shit to you. You are not a bad person. You saved your husband’s life. Bad people…I am a bad person. Not you.”

“But I don’t see you as a bad person,” you pointed out with a sigh and you felt an ache in your chest. “I love you, for all of you and it just…”

“It’s best not to overthink things,” Negan hushed you and he leaned further back into the couch, bringing you with him and he cuddled you in closer to him. Your head rest at the crook of his neck while his hand caressed over the center of your back. “I know I don’t do what you’d like me to. I know I make mistakes that are unforgivable, but you are not responsible for what I’ve done. You did nothing wrong. You saved my life and I owe you that.”

“I love you Negan,” you whispered against his skin before pressing a loving kiss against the side of his neck. “I just, still feel…I don’t know…”

“I’ve got an idea,” Negan began with a long sigh. “You remember that bathtub I told you was off limits and only allowed to be used for special occasions?”

“The one that I thought didn’t work because it’s never being used?” you wrinkled your nose and Negan nodded. It was a freestanding bathtub that Negan had in his personal bathroom and it had always caught your interest. “What about it?”

“Well, I only use it on my worst days where my back is killing me and shit, but how about you finish breakfast with me and then I will draw you bath. That way you can relax?” Negan suggested and you arched your brow in response. “Is that a no? I mean, we can totally ignore the fact that I offered.”

“No, I would love that,” you responded quickly and saw Negan smirk when you shrugged. “There was a bathtub at the place I was at in Alexandria, but I never really had enough time to settle down and use it. It’s been…God, for fucking ever since I’ve had a bath.”

“Well, let’s eat and then get that shit ready for you,” Negan winked, his dimples sucking in when he was clearly enamored with the excitement you got over using his personal bath. “Let’s try actually enjoying our breakfast though, okay?”

Agreeing to his deal, the two of you finished up with breakfast and afterward, Negan kept up his end of the bargain and drew a bath for you. When you undressed and slid back into the warm water, you let out a relaxed sound and heard Negan’s laughter fill the air. He was standing in the corner of the bathroom, gathering a few things and you closed your eyes, resting back against the side of the tub.

“Yup, now I know it…I’m a horrible person,” you insisted and Negan looked over his shoulder at you with a confused expression. “I’m actually really happy over the idea of being married to you so I can get a warm bath. I’m going to eat this up.”

“Ah, well…I think the people here would be jealous,” Negan winked and gathered up the loofa that he had and moved to the side of the tub beside you. Negan got down on his knees and stared out at you with his hazel eyes, making you snort. “What?”

“Why are you staring at me?” you splashed some of the water at him and heard his thick laughter fill the air.

“I just can’t believe how incredibly lucky I am,” Negan answered, reaching out to brush his fingertips over the side of your wet face and you shifted in closer to him. Negan stared out at you for a moment longer before reaching for the loofa that was beside him on the ground and the soap. He lathered it into the loofa and reached out to start caressing the loofa over your shoulder in a tender caress. “Do you feel different?”

“Now that I’m in the tub?” you snickered and Negan’s features were very serious. His Adam’s apple bounced in his throat as he reached out with his free hand to caress over your abdomen beneath the water. When Negan’s fingertips traced over the planes of your wet flesh, you let out a sad sound.

“We’ve been trying really hard,” Negan reminded you and you reached out to wrap your hand around his thick wrist.

“This is big enough for the two of us…how about you join me?” you offered and saw Negan shake his head. You curled your bottom lip into a pout and heard him let out a grumble of a groan. “Please?”

“You had to use that face on me,” he frowned and pulled his hand from the water, you clapped your hands together when you watched him stand. Scooting forward toward the middle of the tub, you watched as Negan pushed his fingertips into the waistband of his boxer briefs and kicked out of them. Negan carefully moved in behind you in the tub and you heard the water splash over making you chuckle. “You’re a wicked woman…”

“And you love every minute of it,” you muttered, feeling Negan adjust behind you. His long legs stretched out beside you before he reached out to wrap his arm around your waist to pull you back against him. A giggle fell from your lips when he playfully kissed over the side of your neck and wrapped his arms around your waist. His arms wrapped around you tightly when you leaned back against his chest and got more comfortable. “See, this is much better.”

“You’re right, you in my arms is amazing,” Negan agreed, pressing a kiss against the side of your neck before nestling his nose against the side of it. “Does me talking about the possibility of a baby upset you?”

“No, why would it?” you pondered the thought as Negan slid his right hand in over your stomach to caress over it in a tender manner.

“I just…I really want a baby,” Negan stated with a sigh against the side of your neck. “I picture a life for the two of us so much different than this. You know? And I just…I’m getting…”

“Are you upset with us?” you searched for an answer from him knowing that he seemed bummed about everything. “With our relationship?”

“Fuck no! I just feel bad because I really fucking believe I’m sterile. You would know by now if you were pregnant and we’ve been trying everything you fucking told me. I stopped smoking the stuff Simon got me, which kills me since I have that big fucking case filled with packs of them. I’ve been eating healthier and what not,” Negan rambled on, his voice cracking as he clearly was upset about what he was talking about.

“Doctor Carson said that not everyone feels a difference. Also mentioned that not everyone shows right away,” you reminded Negan and looked over your shoulder at him to see that his eyes actually looked quite sad. Pressing your hand beneath the water, you grasped your fingers in his and squeezed them tightly. “If I’m not pregnant, maybe that’s nature’s way of telling me that I shouldn’t be pregnant. Not now at least.”

“Why do you say that?” Negan retorted with a huff.

“You got attacked the other day. I have a group out there that wants to kill me to get back at you. Rick wants to kill you and trust me, Rick may be calm right now, but he won’t always be,” you listed off the reasons that you could simply think of immediately. “Daryl would kill both of us if he got out of these walls…”

“Baby, I’m fine from the other day. The group out there hasn’t attempted hurting you again and if they did, I would be here to protect you. And Rick…?” Negan chuckled, growling beneath his breath. Negan reached for the loofa again and began lathering up over your shoulders, around the back of your neck and toward your collarbone. You reached for the loofa, feeling like it was distracting you from the conversation. Dropping it into the water, you heard Negan snicker and reach up to caress over your shoulders. “He’s my bitch. I say jump and he asks how high. His people may be upset and planning something, but I know Rick. It’s going to take a lot more for him to make a fucking move.”

“I just think that maybe life should settle down a bit before we have a baby,” you suggested and felt Negan locking up behind you. His hands stopped their movements over your shoulders and you realized that he likely took the comment wrong. “I mean, I really want to have a baby with you, but I don’t think you are ready to give up all of this. To give up The Sanctuary. To give up the power and the people. I think you live for that and I couldn’t ask you to step away from it. Not when I know how much you love it.”

“My baby would come first,” Negan insisted with a firm tone, his fingers sliding down from your shoulders, down your arms and toward your fingers that were under the water. He squeezed them in his tightly and tried to show he was being supportive. “Trust me.”

“Believe it or not Negan, I do want a baby with you,” you truthfully responded, knowing that it probably seemed like you didn’t. “I at first thought I didn’t. I thought it might be rushing things, but I love you so much. You mean the world to me and I’d be lost without you. I thought of a life with you and maybe a child…I want that. I want to live the most normal life possible with you.”

“Really?” he rumbled against the side of your neck and you nodded. “Even after everything the last few days?”

“I’m not going to lie; the other day fucked me up. I killed someone and saw their dead body in front of me. I’m going to be a little…messed for a while,” you pointed out with a sigh and Negan shifted in the water behind you. His hands lowered from yours and you could feel his hands caressing over your thighs beneath the water. “I can’t get the image of what he looked like after I shot him out of my head. I don’t regret it. I would choose saving you every day if I had to make that same decision again, but it still is stuck in there.”

“I know baby and you have no idea how much I love and appreciate you for doing what you did for me,” Negan reminded you, his lips starting to slowly descend over the side of your neck and toward your shoulder. He nipped at your skin softly and growled. “You are everything to me.”

“I love you Negan,” you nodded, turning your head enough so that he could press his lips over yours. His kiss lingered for a moment while he nibbled over your bottom lip.

“You are the most amazing woman,” Negan panted, his tongue pressing into your mouth as you felt his hands sliding up and toward your breasts. When you felt him squeezing and caressing them in his large palms, you let out a tense breath. 

“I’m not really in the mood Negan,” you informed him, reaching for his hands to pull it up from the water and press a soft kiss against the back of his hand. Negan’s warm breath was felt against the side of your neck as he pressed soft kisses against your skin. His breathing had gotten heavier and you could feel him squeezing you tighter in his arms. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay…” Negan insisted with a small grunt when you turned your head to kiss him again. The stubble over his face tickled yours as you shifted in the bathtub. “I’m not in the mood either…”

“Negan, I feel like I have a fist pressed up against the small of my back,” you pointed out when you felt Negan’s hardened frame etching over yours. “You are so full of shit it hurts.”

“It hurts alright,” Negan snorted in your ear with a tight laugh before urging you to kiss him again. His tongue flicked against your lips and you could feel yourself leaning further back into his chest in the warm water. “But if you aren’t in the mood, then neither am I…”

“Maybe you could make me in the mood?” you stammered, feeling a warmth fill your body when Negan’s brows arched up. “Please? I want to get my mind off things…”

“You’ve got it babe,” Negan answered, urging your lips to his again as he kissed you over and over again, urging you over his lap in a different way in the bathtub. His hand pulled from yours and slid over your collarbone. The sweep continued down over the swell of your breast that was exposed from the top of the water. Negan’s tongue pressed its way into your mouth, flicking and teasing you with what he knew you liked. A moan released deep from within your throat when you felt his thumb circling over your nipple. He teased the small bud with his rough fingertips before pinching at the sensitive flesh. “You are so fucking beautiful…I love you so fucking much.”

“I love you too,” you breathed against his lips and felt his teeth biting into your bottom lip. Negan’s other hand slid in over your other breast to palm in over your flesh and you leaned further back into his wet chest. You could feel a chill running down your spine while both of Negan’s large palms squeezed over your breasts.

“How are we doing?” Negan nipped over your bottom lip, tugging on it softly and you whimpered into his mouth. “Getting in the mood at all?”

“We’re warming up,” you answered with a small smile and Negan’s deep laughed pressed in over your lips before he kissed you again. If anything, his kisses were helping you sway your mind to how much you loved kissing Negan. Negan’s right hand slid from your breast and down your abdomen, underneath the water. You felt his fingertips grabbing a tight hold of your thigh to get you to pull your legs apart further while you rest between his legs in the tub. Reaching back, you tugged your fingertips through Negan’s wet hair and moaned into his mouth when you felt him palming over your mound beneath the water. “A little bit warmer now.”

“Only a little bit? I guess I’m gonna just have to try harder,” Negan grumbled and you could feel your heart rate quickening at the deep sound of his voice. A determined grunt fell from his lips when you felt him rubbing and caressing over your sensitive flesh. “How about I get you out of this tub, take you to bed and lay you down? Since you love my mouth so much, how about I eat out that pretty little pussy of yours? Pamper you and make you feel good?”

“Negan,” you purred against his lips when he nibbled softly over the skin. You rocked your hips against the caress of his hand beneath the water and you cried out. Negan’s free hand still continued to caress and cup over your breast making you get all the hotter.

“Would you fucking like that? My tongue teasing your clit while I finger you? I’ll take my time sucking, licking and torturing that sweet little bud. Would you like me to fuck that tight little hole of yours with my tongue? Would that make you feel better?” Negan rumbled his slew of naughty words against the side of your neck and his left hand slid up from your breast toward your jaw to grasp it tightly. His mouth kissed over yours again and again, the wet sounds filling the air as he groaned out into your mouth. “What do you think baby?”

“That does sound tempting…” you muttered and felt Negan’s mouth lowering down over your jawline and toward your neck. His tongue flicked and teased over your flesh before biting. You tilted your head up, giving him easier access to your neck as he kissed over it. “And really good, but can I take you up on that offer sometime soon?”

“Not in the mood?” Negan slurred against your neck and you carefully pulled away from him. Turning to face toward him, you could see his eyes were heavy with lust. His pupils were dilated, his lips parted as his chest rose and fell heavily. Reaching out, you urged his legs together as you crawled in over his lap and felt his hands settling in over your hips. The water splashed as you moved more carefully over him and you felt your body slipping a bit. A laugh fell from both your lips as Negan made sure to keep you up with his grasp. “Not so easy to move around in a bath babe.”

“Noted,” you lowered down closer to him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders while your right hand slid up and into his hair. Tugging on his wet hair, you let out a small sigh and met his lips in a long, drawn out caress. Negan was slow is his movements, dragging out each sensation and it felt amazing focusing on something like kissing Negan instead of having your mind linger over the things that were bothering you. “I guess I will have to be careful then.”

“Mhmm…” Negan breathed against your mouth as you slid your palms up to cup over the sides of his face. When you teased your fingertips through the short beard that covered his face, he pressed in closer to kiss you again. “You’re fucking everything to me baby, you know that…right?”

“Negan…” you whimpered against his lips knowing that you wanted to believe that so badly. Hearing him say those words made your heart flutter with absolute adoration for the man because it was something that you knew he would never say to anyone else or in front of anyone else. “I love you.”

“Good,” a smirk pressed in over his features when he tipped his head back to look at you with his big, hazel eyes. Lowering your hands, you began to caress over the wet planes of Negan’s chest and felt him sliding back further into the tub. More of the water splashed over the sides and it caused a laugh to fall from your lips. “We’re going to have some cleaning up to do here. Your floor is going to be a pool after we’re done with it…”

“That’s what I have The Saviors for. We can bring in Dwighty boy and have him clean it for us,” Negan suggested with a wink and you bit down into your bottom lip. “You’re worth the mess though…”

“You’re worth the mess too,” you whispered, teasing your fingertips through the wet hair that clung to his chest and down toward his abdomen until you reached the base of his hard erection. Negan’s hips arched up closer to your touch and your eyes lifted to meet his. Wrapping your palm around his shaft, you could see his Adam’s apple bounce in his throat and he parted his lips to let out a small moan. “Do you really love me?”

“What kind of question is that?” Negan snorted with a laugh as he raised his left hand from your hips to show that he was wearing his wedding band. “I get in trouble from Simon so many fucking days because I forget to take the damn thing off and put it on the chain around my neck. Of course I fucking love you.”

“But am I enough for you?” you breathed out and Negan’s eyebrows tensed together as you slowly started to pump your hand over his length. A grunt fell from his throat as he stared out at you and nodded. “If everything fell to shit and it was just the two of us, you’d be fine?”

“Why? Are you planning to set fire to the fucking place?” Negan teased with a laugh that soon turned a moan when your grasp tightened around his shaft. “Just let me know when you are gonna do that first, okay doll?”

“You’re an ass,” you rolled your eyes and felt Negan’s hands returning to your hips and he slowly caressed up the planes of your torso towards your breasts to softly cup them in his wet hands. “Forget it.”

“Have I done something to make you feel like I don’t love you?” Negan breathed out in an uncomfortable tone, looking down to watch you caressing over his length and his lips parted as he took in a sharp breath.

“No, I’m just…not me right now,” you answered truthfully, thinking about all of the mocking that Simon had done with you about not being enough for Negan in the past.

Maybe you were letting Simon’s words finally sink in and he was becoming that annoying voice in the back of your mind that made you doubt everything and anything. Carefully adjusting yourself over Negan, you felt his hands curling around the back of your thighs as you positioned the tip of his body against your core. Negan’s eyes closed and his head rested back against the tub as you circled his body over the length of your sex before slightly lowering over the tip. He bit into his bottom lip and moaned out as you slowly lowered down his thick length, feeling him stretching your body. An uncomfortable breath fell from your lips as you braced your hands over his chest. You’d thought after being with Negan so much, you’d get used to his length, but sometimes it still took a bit to get used to. Negan’s chest flexed against your grasp and you could hear his breaths getting heavier as your body clamped around his and he arched his hips up closer to yours.

“Fuck,” a low, guttural groan fell from Negan’s lips as he opened his eyes and lifted his head to look down to see you lowering completely over him. His body twitched slightly and he lifted his gaze to look into your eyes. “Am I enough for you?”

“Of course you are,” you winced, taking a moment to focus on the sensation of Negan filling you completely. Licking your lips, you gradually lifted your hips rising yourself almost to the head of his cock before swiftly lowering yourself to the base again. Negan gulped heavily as you repeated your movement a few more times, getting used to the sensation. Increasing the speed of your hips, you heard Negan whine and grab a hold of your waist roughly, causing your movements to stop.

“Slower,” he ordered with a sturdy tone as he helped urge your hips up and over him in a slower motion to help draw out the sensations. Negan bit down on his bottom lip as he looked you over and you let out a small cry. You felt every vein, every ridge of his cock inside of you as he helped you slowly rock yourself over his length. Negan groaned and nodded his head, urging you in closer to him so he could kiss you again. “Better…focus on the sensations, about making yourself feel good. Not about rushing things. Drawing things out makes the orgasms so much more powerful at the end…”

“Oh yeah?” you smirked against his lips and heard him laugh. The vibrations of it tickled against your skin as you whimpered into his mouth with each time you were brought down over his length. “Fuck…Negan…”

Lowering your head to the side of his neck, you could feel your hips desperately want to quicken their movements over him, but his hands only allowed so much movement from them. Grasping at Negan’s hair tightly, you bit at his skin and heard him wince.

“Let’s get out of the tub,” Negan suggested and you gulped down, nodding as you felt him lifting you from his hips and a gasp fell from your lips when his length pulled from you. Negan allowed you to carefully get out of the tub first before following you out. Negan reached for your hand and led you toward the counter of the sink, helping to lift you up so that you were seated on the edge of it. Negan looked down between the two of you, wrapping his right hand around his length to caress over it a few times before pushing your thighs further apart so he could position himself at your opening to softly push his tip inside of you. “Hold onto me…”

Wrapping your arms around Negan’s shoulders, you held tightly to him while he continued to slowly take his time with you. It lasted a while in the bathroom before he took you back into the bedroom and laid you down. He took time focusing on you and making you feel good. It was nice to finally get your mind off things and just focus on every touch, every thrust and every kiss that Negan gave you. It was obvious with the things that he had been doing, that he was just trying to pamper you and do things to make you feel good.

When you finished, he had laid down beside you, holding you close to him while his fingertips traced up and over your abdomen time and time again. The two of you had been quiet, but still it felt nice after everything that had happened.

“You know I’m always here for you, right?” Negan breathed against your skin as he nestled his nose against the side of your neck. “You mean the world to be Y/N and I don’t know what I’d do with you. I want you happy. I know I’ll never be fucking perfect and give you the life you deserve, but I want us to be...special.”

“We are special Negan, you’re everything to me,” you reminded him with a sigh, reaching down to tangle your fingers with his. Squeezing them tightly, you thought about everything that had been bothering you and shook your head. “I’m just worried that I’m not enough for you.”

“Trust me,” Negan began against your skin. “That’s not something you need to be worrying about right now.”


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader goes out on a supplies run with Negan and The Saviors. The reader causes something bad to happen and some of the Saviors want to see her punished for it.

“You doing alright?” Negan’s voice broke you from your thoughts as you lifted your head up to stare out at Negan from where you were sitting on the back of the truck. Negan had Lucille thrown over his shoulder while you were staring out at him. Some of The Saviors were gathering together in groups to go on a supplies run and you found yourself at a loss. You just weren’t really interested in what was going on right now for some reason. Things weren’t going bad with you and Negan; it was just lately things had gotten a bit hard with your thoughts. All of the negative things that had been said to you from Daryl and Simon were swirling around in your brain. The images of the man you killed still haunted you and it was hard to really move on from that. “You seem elsewhere.”

“I’m here,” you insisted, shaking your head as you looked beyond Negan to see that Michael was with Randy and it was the first time you had seen Michael in weeks. Gulping down, you felt Negan reach out to touch the side of your face with his gloved hand. When Negan’s worried eyes looked you over, you could tell that he thought something was wrong. “Negan…I’m okay.”

“Can you blame me for worrying about you?” Negan huffed, his hazel eyes watching you closely when he finally got you to focus on him and only him. Negan tipped forward to press a quick kiss against your lips and you sighed heavily. “I’m going to split everyone into groups and then the two of us can be alone to search this store I think you’d like, okay?”

Nodding, you watched Negan go off and talk to a few of the groups. Some of them dispersed, but others were still seemingly getting ready. Watching closely, you could see the way that Michael was looking around seeming like he was up to something. Maybe it was the way that you had been lately, but you couldn’t seem to stop watching him.

The Saviors were positioned at a strip of stores that were alongside a large wooded area that surrounded it. It was a small town, much like the last one you had been attacked at when you went out with Simon. Still keeping an eye on Michael, you felt your heart pounding inside of your chest. You didn’t know why you felt like he was up to something, but it was in the cautious way he was looking around. The way he would whisper to those he was around. It just seemed…off.

“Hey,” Negan’s voice surprised you, making you jump. Your response caused Negan to laugh and reach out to playfully nudge your jaw with his knuckles. “Scared you?”

“Sorry, I’m just not paying attention,” you answered with a frown and Negan helped you down from where you were seated on the truck. Following him toward one of the stores, you looked over your shoulder to see Michael at the edge of the woods and gulped down. “Something seems up with Michael.”

“Michael always moves around like a wounded fucking dog,” Negan tugged you toward the store and you let out a tense breath. “Don’t worry about it. You know him, he hates being here working for me in the first place…”

“Alright,” you brushed off your worries and followed Negan into the store that he was tugging you toward. When he pushed open the door, you let out an amused breath and looked around. “Seriously Negan? What the hell are we going to get from a sex shop?”

“Would you really like me to answer that question?” Negan looked around the mess of a store seeing that a lot of things were pushed over and thrown about. “There are some really good things that are needed for daily living here.”

“Right because vibrators and whips are going to feed the people of The Sanctuary,” you mocked him with a laugh and saw him moving around the store to look at the items that were still alright and not destroyed. Looking over your shoulder out the front window, you looked to see Michael who still seemed to be standing outside talking with Randy. They were huddled down and away from the rest of the group. After watching them for a moment, you felt Negan’s hand pressing in over your shoulder again. “Sorry…”

“Let it go,” Negan urged you with a heavy breath and you nodded slowly. “Everything is fine. He’s not some big mastermind. You just have been a little jumpy lately…”

Letting out a nervous sound, you felt Negan dragging you back into the shop and felt him shaking at your arms to try and get you to relax. A small laugh fell from your lips when Negan’s goofy smile pressed in over his handsome features.

“Help me pick out some things here,” Negan tugged you toward a shelf that had items over it and you felt your cheeks blushing over. “What? Why are you suddenly getting all prude on me?”

“Because we should be looking for things that help us, not…sex toys,” you snickered and Negan let out a thick laugh as he pressed in behind you to wrap his arms around your waist. His lips teased in over the side of your neck and his stubble tickled over your skin. “I’m serious Negan.”

“I should be able to get things that I would enjoy too,” Negan reached out around you while his other arm stayed wrapped firmly around your waist. When he reached out for a leather flogger, you let out a tight laugh. “This looks fun.”

“I’d rather use the paddle on you,” you nodded toward the leather paddle that was with the rest of the bondage that was left in the store. Negan let out an amused sound before letting go of you and reaching for it. “I’m so joking Negan.”

“You don’t joke with me. I take shit very seriously,” Negan wiggled his eyebrow in response and he started picking up a few more items that clearly struck his fancy. Looking over your shoulder, you found your eyes in search of Michael again and gulped heavily when you saw that he was still there talking with Randy about something. “Ooo…they’ve got a lube here they say is good for anal.”

“Not a chance Negan,” you retorted, looking over your shoulder at him to see a frown press in over his lips and you could see that his arms were full with stuff. “What the hell do you have there? Is this all necessary?”

“Oh, yes. It’s very fucking necessary,” Negan snorted with a wink, motioning you to wait as he headed toward the door of the store. “I’ll go put these in one of the trucks. Look around and see if you like anything. I’ll be right back.”

A half laugh fell from your lips when you watched Negan struggle to get the door open and you looked to see that he had left Lucille. Reaching down to pick her up, you moved toward the door to still keep an eye on Michael. It always did seem suspicious to you that you never saw Michael again after you and Simon were attacked by that group. You had only seen him around a few times, but never spoke with him again.

Michael and Randy seemed to fall back in the group and when they were done talking, Randy had gone off with the group, but Michael had seemed to wonder off. Tilting your head to the side, you watched him walk into the woods through a different area and you stepped out of the store. Going to head in the area that Michael had left, you felt someone grabbing a tight hold of your arm.

“What are you doing? Didn’t I tell you to browse while I was gone?” Negan grunted and he looked to see that you were holding onto Lucille. Lifting the bat, you handed her back to Negan and he took it from you. His eyebrow arched in response when you didn’t have an answer for him and he whipped his head about in an exaggerative manner. “Didn’t find something you like?”

“You know me, I like whatever you like,” you blew off the answer and Negan grabbed a tight hold of your jaw to get you to look at him when he noticed your attention was elsewhere. “Where were you headed? You know that you can’t just walk off without Simon or me.”

“I just saw Michael walk off alone in that direction,” you answered and Negan looked over his shoulder. Negan’s eyebrow perked up and he seemed interested for a moment before shrugging his shoulders. “That doesn’t at all interest you? You send him to go off with a group and he just walks off in the other direction.”

“Just…wait here and I’ll go grab someone to go look. Don’t leave this spot, okay?” Negan confirmed with you and looked over his shoulder to see who still remained. Agreeing, you watched Negan move back toward the men that were still left. Attempting to listen to Negan, you only moved a bit closer to the woods in the direction that Michael had disappeared. You heard a rustling just beyond where you were and some talking. No one followed Michael, so the fact you could hear a few voices not far off in the distance confused you.

Ignoring Negan’s order, you stepped into the woods following the direction that Michael had gone. After going into the woods a bit further, you heard the sound of voices and pressed in behind one of the trees to hide. You couldn’t exactly hear what they were saying because they were whispering, but Michael was talking to someone you had never seen before. He was handing the man over a piece of paper and you could feel your heart hammering in your chest. Adjusting your footing, the sound of a snapping twig filled the air and you felt your heart begin to pulsate in your head. Dropping down behind a set of bushes, you could see that both Michael and the stranger were looking in the direction of where you were originally. After a moment of being hidden, you lifted up again and could see that both men were gone. Looking around cautiously, you didn’t understand where they could have gone.

“What the hell?” you stammered to yourself and heard the sound of leaves crunching behind you. Looking over your shoulder, you let out a shocked sound when a walker lunged itself forward at you. Falling over the bush, you let out a small yelp when the walker fell down with you. Keeping your palm firmly in the center of its chest, you grunted and tried keep it above you. “Help!”

Fighting with all the power you had, the sound of a whoosh filled the air and you watched an arrow pierce through the side of the walker’s head making it drop down over you. Groaning out, you looked to see that a few of Negan’s men were there. One of them made it over to you and helped you shove the walker from your body.

“You need to be more careful. What are you doing out here alone?” one of The Saviors grimaced and then the sound of a scream filled the air. Looking over your shoulder you saw another one of the men in the group having a walker biting his wrist. His screams filled the air as he shoved the walker away from him. Your heart began to pound inside of your chest as you watched the other men scramble when a few more walkers emerged forward from the woods. The Saviors  tried to work together to get the walkers, but another one of Negan’s men got caught between a group of them and you could hear his screams filling the air when they tore at his body. “Get out of here!”

You wanted to help, but you didn’t have any weapons. Turning to run, you felt the firm shove of a walker pushing right into you. It knocked you against one of the trees and you tried to get your hands up to keep it from biting you.

A loud crack filled the air when you watched the walker drop down to the ground. Looking beside you, Negan’s hazel eyes glared out at you before he began to bring Lucille down over the walker’s head again and again. Dwight and a few more men came to help take out the group of walkers. They killed the rest of the walkers in no time and when everything was said and done, Negan grabbed a hold of your wrist and pulled you out of the woods toward the truck you were originally at.

“What the hell were you doing? I told you to fucking stay where you were!” Negan screamed at you and you were still so shaken up that you couldn’t respond. “Answer me damn it! What were you thinking?”

“I told you. I saw Michael and I heard more than one voice,” you recalled and Negan’s chest rose and fell as a few of his men emerged from the woods to surround the truck. Some of them were covered in blood and you could see them dragging out the man who had been bit in the arm. “Michael was talking to someone. Someone I had never seen before. Michael gave the stranger something and…”

“Did I say you could leave?” Negan looked to you, his head tilting as you shook your head. “You disobeyed me.”

“She got one of the men killed and this one has got a bite,” one of Negan’s Saviors muttered from the back of the group. Negan gave you one final glare before moving over toward the man that had gotten bit. “What are we going to do with him?”

“You have one of two choices,” Negan informed the man, looking back at you with an annoyed glance. “You can either cut the fucking arm off or you have someone end it for you right now. What will it fucking be?”

“I don’t…I don’t want to die,” the man muttered and Negan shrugged his shoulders. He moved toward one of his Saviors and reached for a hatchet. Negan handed it to the man that was helping the bit Savior stand and the bitten Savior let out a wail. “I can’t…I can’t lose my arm.”

“Then you are gonna get a bullet between the eyes,” Negan warned reaching for the gun from his holster. When Negan raised it up to the man, Negan could see the bitten Savior trying to pull back. “From what I know of you, which isn’t fucking much, I’m even wondering if wasting the medical supplies on you will be worth it.”

“Negan, please…” the man begged and you felt your whole body going numb. This wasn’t at all how you wanted things to go. This wasn’t the plan. You didn’t know this would happen by just following Michael out into the woods. “I’ll take the arm…just make it fast.”

You watched as the group set off helping wrap a belt around the man’s arm. When they set up his arm on the ground to cut it off, you could hear the man begging for them not to do it. After the hatchet was brought down the first time, it was clear that the man was not handling it well. You trembled watching the scene fold out before you.

“Stop screaming,” you heard Dwight warning the man. Time after time Dwight warned him, but his screams had only gotten louder. A moment later you watched Dwight lift Daryl’s crossbow and threaten him again. “Stop screaming or I swear to God, I will shoot you.”

“Dwight,” you breathed out trying to get him to stop, but it was clear that when Negan moved out to you that he didn’t want you taking part in any of this. A moment later the screaming stopped and you looked over Negan’s shoulder to see that Dwight had shot the bitten Savior right in the center of the head. The men scattered and Negan let out a confused breath.

“What the hell Dwight?” Negan snapped and Dwight nodded toward the woods where a few more walkers were emerging. The group quickly did what they could to kill them before Dwight spoke up again.

“His screaming was drawing out more of them. If we would have kept him alive, then he would have gotten us all killed,” Dwight insisted and Negan nodded slowly, his eyes shifting between you and Dwight. You were shaking, but trying to hide it since you were surrounded by Negan’s men. “I did what had to be done.”

“That doesn’t cover up the fact that she clearly disobeyed you and it killed two of my men,” the same Savior from earlier called out and Negan’s jaw locked up. It flexed when Negan looked over at you with a disappointed expression. “What the fuck are you going to do about Negan? People get punished when they disobey you. You need to punish her. You need to punish her the way you would punish one of us.”

“I wasn’t trying to disobey. I saw Michael walking into the woods and he met up with a stranger that…” you began to inform the group that was there before seeing Michael’s group that had taken off earlier emerging from the woods. You saw Michael’s eyes staring out at you as you gulped down heavily. Clearly Michael had heard you mention his name and stepped forward, giving you a confused expression. “He was handing something over to man I’ve never seen before.”

“I was with the group the whole time. That’s impossible,” Michael explained with an uneven laugh. “Are you okay?”

“I saw you, I know it was you,” you tried to explain, but the men that were with Michael seemed confused with your outburst. The five of them looked between each other before shrugging. “You handed him over a paper…”

“Darlin’ I can vouch for young Michael here and tell you he most certainly did not run off alone,” Randy spoke up, his eyes looking between you and Negan. “I don’t know what she thinks she saw, but Michael was with me the entire time. The group will tell you…”

“Negan?” you almost pleaded with him and it was clear that Negan was confused about what to do. “I’m telling you…”

“Come here,” Negan snapped, grabbing a hold of your wrist. Wincing out, you felt him pulling you to the truck. When he pushed you forward toward the truck, you took it as a hint to crawl up into the back of it. “Everyone get back to searching. If there were walkers around, there are bound to be more. Stay fucking close and those that are supposed to stick around here, check the perimeter. Now god damn it!”

When Negan followed you into the truck you let out a tense breath. Negan looked upset and confused as he paced back and forth. The sound of his breathing filled the air and you lifted your shaking hands.

“I’m not lying to you Negan. I watched Michael walk into those woods. I saw him do it. He was talking to a man and he handed him papers. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, but that group is lying,” you explained and Negan stopped pacing long enough to give you a glare. “I swear.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t just a Savior you’ve never seen before?” Negan inquired and you shook your head. You paid attention to faces these days. It was something that you did after you had been alone. You never wanted to forget a face because you always needed to remember who was and wasn’t a threat. “I have a hard time believing all those men are fucking lying to me. Some of them have been some of my best men.”

“So you are going to believe that I’m lying to you instead?” you scoffed and watched Negan’s brows furrow, his angered expression staring out at you as you screamed at him. “I’m not lying to you Negan!”

“You still disobeyed me and got two of my men killed!” Negan reminded you, his voice booming with anger and venom when he stepped forward. “I told you to stay. I was going to have someone go in for you. You could have waited a minute longer, but you decided to ignore what I said. You decided you knew better than I did.”

“So what are you going to do about it then?” you blurt out and watched Negan bite into his bottom lip before setting Lucille aside against one of the containers that was in the truck. Negan stepped forward and you felt your heart begin to hammer in your chest. “I disobeyed you, but I’m not lying to you Negan.”

Negan looked you over and you suddenly felt very small in comparison to him as he stepped before you. His tall body towered over yours and you could see him gulping down before reaching for your body to shove it forward.

“Negan,” you whimpered when you felt him forcing you over the side of the container in the back of the truck. A wince fell from your lips when you felt his hand pressing in over the back of your neck. “I’m sorry.”

“I told you no and you ignored me,” Negan reminded you with a sigh and you heard the sound of him pulling apart his belt. “And because of you, two of my men are dead now…”

“I’m sorry Negan, I just…” you felt him grabbing a hold of your pants to tug them down your hips. You went to get up, but Negan pressed further into your shoulders.

“If you move. If you try to even get up, I’m going to double what your punishment is. You’re my wife, but you disobeyed me and you ignored a direct order. If you weren’t my wife, your punishment would be so much more,” Negan sounded upset behind you as you clutched onto the side of the container. “I wish you would fucking listen to me.”

“Negan, please…” you bit into your bottom lip as you heard his belt coming lose from his waist. “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“No one ever does,” Negan answered with an angered breath and you looked over your shoulder to see him wrapping his belt around his hand. “We’re going to do five…understand?”

“This is unnecessary Negan, I understand the mistake I made,” you tried to reason with him and his brow arched, his face twisting with an upset expression.

“You still got some of my men killed,” Negan frowned, his hazel eyes staring down at you and you watched him lowering the belt at his side. “And my men want you punished much worse than this. If I let you off easily, that doesn’t make me much of a leader, does it?”

“But as a husband? Would you do this kind of thing to Amber or Sherry?” you muttered under your breath, biting into your bottom lip and Negan’s head lowered. “It’s one thing if you are using the belt for kinky stuff, but as a punishment…?”

“That’s not fair. What would you rather me do? No one knows you’re married to me, they just assume that I’m fucking you. If you weren’t my wife, you would either be getting your face burned with an iron or you would be thrown into the cells…” Negan stammered with a confused breath, his hands tossing up as he spoke. Negan was still talking quiet enough to make sure that no one could hear your discussion. “Baby, I don’t want to do this, but…”

“You need to prove a point?” you filled in the words and he nodded slowly. Sighing heavily, you lowered your head back to try and keep yourself focused on something else other than what was about to happen. You still knew in your heart what you had seen, but clearly the whole group didn’t believe you. “Alright, I get it…”

There was a long silence that filled the truck and you bit into your bottom lip. After a few minutes, you looked over your shoulder to see Negan standing beside you with the belt raised and you nodded slowly, “Do it.”

“I’m sorry,” Negan nodded, raising the belt up higher and you watched him bite down heavily on his bottom lip. Upset sounds were escaping his throat while you clutched tightly onto the metal container he had you thrown over. Negan raised the belt up again and started cussing out over and over again. Hearing the sound of a thud, you looked over to see Negan dropped down on the floor of the truck, his head buried in his hands. “I can’t fucking do it.”

“Negan?” you breathed out, reaching to pull your pants back up slowly and Negan was rocking back and forth on the ground before you. Clearly the idea of having to punish you upset him severely bad. “Baby?”

“Quiet,” Negan stammered, looking up at you and his eyes were watering over. Negan quickly got up from the floor and began to pull his leather jacket from his arms to lay it out over the container where you were after bunching the material of the jacket. “When I bring the belt down, sell it like I was hitting you. Wince. Cry out. Do whatever you can to sell it. It will sound as close to leather on skin as I can get it. If they hear nothing, they will think I’ve done nothing.”

“Are you sure this is what you would rather do?” you breathed out and Negan looked over his shoulder toward the back of the truck. Negan nodded and motioned you closer to him.

“I can still sell that I mean fucking business without hurting my wife for their better off,” Negan answered with a heavy sigh and he bit into his bottom lip. “You have to fucking sell this though. Please?”

“Okay,” you agreed, looking Negan over with a serious expression and Negan raised the belt. When he brought it down and the whack of the belt filled the air you winced out in pain. Negan nodded when he brought the belt down again and you cried out a little louder this time. Each time he brought down the belt, you tried to sell it a little bit more that it was you he was hitting. “Negan…please…”

Negan’s brow rose as he nodded in approval and finished up with the hits that he had planned out. Negan reached for his jacket and pulled it back on before starting to pull his belt through the loops. You moved across the truck and grabbed a soft hold of his face to pull him into a kiss. Negan kissed you over and over again before pulling away.

“Stay back here on the way back so they think you are mad at me. Sell it like I punished you and then tonight we can talk about stuff,” Negan suggested and you felt his rough fingertips sliding in over your face. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you whispered against his lips and felt Negan releasing you before heading back outside. Negan gave you one last look as you slowly slid down in the corner of the truck. When Negan left the truck you lifted your hands to see that they were still shaking. You were glad that Negan didn’t hit you or punish you, but you were still upset that just following Michal had led to such a big ordeal. You knew what you saw and you saw Michael walking into those woods. You didn’t know why people were lying for him, but they most certainly were and you couldn’t quite put your finger on it.

For hours, it seemed like you waited, but eventually you heard the trucks start up and you sat in the back while they clearly drove home. You knew that Negan wanted you to pretend to be upset. Honestly, you were upset, but not because of Negan. You couldn’t believe that Dwight killed the man earlier because he was screaming. It really bothered you and it upset you that the decision you made ended the lives of two men and likely upset many others at The Sanctuary.

There were some of Negan’s men that wanted you severely punished and you assumed that they wouldn’t be okay with you just getting a ‘whipping’. When the trucks stopped and you heard Negan’s voice order you to come out, you got up slowly and did your best to fake some kind of a limp that would hint you were in pain from a being belted hours earlier.

“You are to go to your room immediately and wait there until I decide what else I’m going to do with you,” Negan snapped his fingers and pointed toward The Sanctuary. You gulped down, nodded and started walking back.

“I don’t think you’re going to be getting any of that pussy tonight Negan. Looks like your belt did a number on her,” the man that demanded you get punished muttered, making you look over your shoulder at the man who was watching you. You gave Negan a glare who stared out at you, his right eyebrow perking up as he nodded toward the building again. Part of you wanted to attack the man for making the comment, but you promised Negan you would do what we wanted.

When you got back to your room, you waited for Negan. It was a few hours before he came to your room. When he did, he hadn’t said a word. You were sitting down reading on your bed with your back pressed up against the headboard. Negan had set Lucille aside against the wall and had stripped down to his boxers. When he crawled into bed, he had laid his head in the center of your lap while he cuddled up next to you. You set your book aside and focused on caressing your fingertips over his scalp like you had learned he liked in the past.

“Are you sure that it was Michael?” Negan breathed against your skin, looking up at you with his big, hazel eyes. “I mean…really sure? You have been upset and sometimes when we are upset, we see shit that…”

“I know what I saw Negan,” you interrupted him and pulled your fingertips from him. Negan sighed heavily and sat up in the bed, his upset expression staring out at you. “I’m sorry I got those two men killed…”

“I don’t really care that much to be fucking honest with you. I didn’t really know either one of them,” Negan answered and you tilted your head to the side. “No skin off my back.”

“Dwight shouldn’t have shot that man that got bit. He would have been fine once it was off. He would have likely passed out and…” you began and Negan held his hands up in the air to cut you off.

“Dwight made the right decision,” Negan interrupted you and let out an annoyed breath. “His screaming would have gotten us killed. He would have gotten you killed. It made sense what Dwight did.”

“Then someone should have covered his mouth,” you suggested and Negan threw up his hands, giving a shrug as you spoke. “He didn’t have to die.”

“Y/N, you know as well as I do…we were over forty-five minutes out. Even if we left immediately and brought him back here, he would have bled out,” Negan stated with a firm nod, his eyes trying to read yours. “It would have been wasted supplies on someone that wouldn’t have made it…”

“You still try. Every life is worth…” you watched Negan roll his eyes and stand up from the bed. He paced in the bedroom and tugged at his dark hair, messing it. “Negan, this is my fault and I’m sorry, but you should have tried to help him.”

“If I wasn’t worried about you…I would have done the same fucking thing Dwight did,” Negan insisted with a firm nod of his head. “Do you not realize that you almost died today? If it wasn’t for my men that saved you or for me crushing in the skull of that walker today, you would be dead. You don’t think Y/N. You don’t listen to me and you put yourself at risk. You put others at risk by not listening to me. I get that you don’t agree with me about the way I run things, but you have to listen to me. Whether you are my wife or not. I love you, but you have to listen to me.”

“I’m sorry,” you mustered up, knowing that part of you wanted to still fight with Negan on the subject, but you knew better. Negan was angry and by the expression on his face, you knew better than to piss him off. Sliding down in the bed, you turned away from him and let out a long breath. “If you don’t want to lay with me tonight, I’d understand. I fucked up bad.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Negan huffed as you felt the bed dipping behind you. The bed squeaked as Negan got comfortable. You felt his arm hooking around your waist and his nose nestled against the back of your neck. “I love you. You are my wife. We may be disagreeing, we may be fighting, but I still love you. Married couples do this kind of shit. Not usually as extreme as this case, but…”

“I got two men killed, it’s pretty extreme,” you felt Negan’s hand search out yours so he could hook his fingers with yours. Negan pressed a soft kiss against the back of your neck and you sighed heavily. “I’m so sorry Negan.”

“All that matters is that you are alive and alright,” Negan grunted out as he cuddled in closer to you and you could still feel the ache of everything weighing in over you. You never wanted to be the person who caused all this drama and fault. “Are you really sure that you saw Michael?”

“Yes,” you stammered, not knowing if it was right to tell Negan the truth or not.

“Then I’ll make sure that people watch him, okay?” Negan informed you with a long sigh against your skin. “I believe you saw Michael. I do, I just don’t know how to fucking prove it without my men getting pissed at me for believing you over a majority of them.”

“I understand,” you frowned and felt Negan pulling you further in closer to him. “I should have listened to you.”

“Well, we’ll work on it,” Negan yawned and soon enough he had fallen asleep cuddled up to you. You didn’t understand how he could just fall asleep so easily. Your mind was still twisting and turning with the thoughts of the walkers. About almost dying. The screams of the man that got bit still echoed throughout your head and you couldn’t forget the way he looked before Dwight shot him. You thought about the man getting surrounded by the group of walkers and you knew that you weren’t going to sleep tonight. No matter how comfortable you were with Negan holding you. It just wasn’t going to happen.


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader tries to make things up with Daryl, but it doesn't go as planned. The reader is reminded of what kind of monster Negan can actually be and is tested once again on her devotion to Negan.

“This is stupid, I hope you know that,” Simon informed you with a snort as he followed you toward Daryl’s cell. You didn’t really disagree with him on that. You didn’t know why you were doing this, but you felt like it was the right thing to do. “If Negan knew what happened…he would kill me for allowing you to even try this again.”

“I guess it is a good thing for both of us that Negan doesn’t know what happened then, huh?” you replied with a heavy breath, reaching out to unlock the door to Daryl’s cell. Opening it up, you saw him curled into a ball on his side. It seemed like he was shaking. When you looked to Simon, you gave him a warning glare and you knew that you both agreed to you calling out to him if something bad happened. Simon closed the door and you turned on the light that you brought with you. When you set it down, Daryl scrambled into a sitting position and a scowl pressed in over his features. “Hi.”

“Pretty damn sure that I told you what I thought of you the last time I saw you,” Daryl sneered, his blue eyes glaring out at you as you got closer to him. When you were just right before him, you got down on your knees and watched him tilt his head. “You don’t get the fucking hint, do you?”

“I just don’t believe you,” you answered, reaching in your back pocket to pull a peanut butter protein bar that you snuck out. Daryl gulped down heavily and looked over the bar. “I guess I can take his peanut butter bar back though since you hate me and wouldn’t…”

You gasped feeling Daryl snatch the bar from your hand. His shaky hands pulled apart the wrapper and you watched him start to devour the bar before you. It had been a while since you had seen him. You really wanted to give up on him after everything happened, but there was still part of you that hoped he didn’t really mean what he said.

“Listen, I’m sorry what I said to you about Glenn,” you sighed and watched Daryl look up at you. His cheeks were puffed out from the amount he had in his mouth. “It was wrong and I was only saying it to upset you because of what you said.”

“Well…” Daryl swallowed down heavily and shook his head. “I’m not sorry about what I said. I meant every word of it.”

“So you’re going to find me when you get out of here and you are going to torture me in front of Negan? Make sure I burn with The Sanctuary?” you confirmed and Daryl’s brow rose. “You really think that little of me?”

“Let me take you back to the memory that I can’t get out of my fucking head,” Daryl began in a huff. “Every time I close my eyes, I see Negan bringin’ that bat down over my friend’s skulls. Let me paint a pretty picture for you...”

“I know what Negan does, I’ve seen it. It’s what happened to one of the men that were sent…” you started to explain and Daryl took another big bite of the bar in his hands. “Go ahead. Talk about whatever it is you want.”

“Well, as you know. He lines you up. Fucks with your mind and then plays a game to find out who he is going to kill. He threatened Maggie because she looked sick. Then decided it was going to be Abraham. Cracked jokes like everything was funny. Like it was all a damn game,” Daryl explained with a heavy breath and he shook his head slowly. “Flung around his damn bat, making jokes like he was funny. Got blood on everyone. I was upset and I hit him, to which he decided to kill Glenn. Mocked Glenn as he was dying and then took Rick. Forced us to sit there with the dead bodies, forced us to say nothing, just accept it. When he came back with Rick, he tied up Carl’s arm and told Rick that Rick was going to cut Carl’s arm off to make a point. Almost damn near did it too. That’s a man you want to be married to? A man where you aren’t his only wife…you are his what…sixth? You think a man like that has enough room in his heart to love you?”

“I can’t explain it to you and have you understand…” you tried to mutter, but he threw his hands up in the air and motioned you to move away from him.

“Oh, bullshit. You know it’s wrong. You do, but you are here trying to convince me you are a good person. You want me to tell you that you are a good person, that’s why you’re here. You feel bad. You know you are doing something wrong, but I’m not going to give you what you want,” Daryl insisted with a nod. “In fact, I’m going to confirm everything I said about you. Even more so now. You are questioning your choices. This means you are logical enough to make decisions on your own. Before I questioned it, but now since I know you have a conscience and it’s bothering you…only confirms to me that with you trying to make it alright in your mind – you’re just as much of a shitty person as I said.”

“I do care about you Daryl,” you tried to reason with him and he laughed. When he finished the bar you had brought, he crumbled up the wrapper and tossed it in your direction. The wrapper hit you in the center of the face and you made an upset sound. “Okay…”

Reaching for the wrapper, you went to pick it up and felt Daryl’s fingers reach out to snatch your wrist up in his grasp. When you looked up at him, his head tilted to the side and he smiled.

“Does Negan know you bring me these little snacks? With Dwight torturing me by bringing me dog food—I don’t think he does. How would he feel if you he knew?” Daryl snapped and you tried to pull your hand away from him, but he tugged you closer to him. “Would you like me to tell him what you are doing? I’m sure Dwight would love to tell em’…”

“Negan wouldn’t hurt me,” you insisted and Daryl smirked, his brow quirking with your response. “He listens to me Daryl. He cares about me and…”

“The only person Negan cares about is himself,” Daryl muttered with a small nod. “You’ll see that soon. Now get the fuck outta here.”

Daryl shoved your wrist away and you let out a wince. Looking down, you rubbed at your wrist before reaching for the wrapper. You pushed it into your back pocket and when you didn’t move, Daryl threw up his hands.

“What are you waiting for? Get the fuck outta here!” Daryl screamed at you by this point and the sound of him yelling drew Simon to open the door. You looked over your shoulder at the door and Daryl let out an angered huff. “I’m telling you for the last time, I don’t want to fuckin’ see your face again? Do you understand me?”

“You’re my friend Daryl,” you reminded him with a frown and he shook his head.

“You’re nothing to me,” Daryl answered with a growl, his eyes narrowing out at you as you stood. “So leave me the fuck alone.”

The sensation of Simon wrapping his fingers around your arm pulled you back toward the door. You stumbled with his pull and made an annoyed sound when Simon began to lock the door up.

“I’m sorry, I just couldn’t think of a new way to explain a broken nose the longer you spent in there,” Simon grunted, looking over his shoulder at you with an irritated glance. “He doesn’t like you anymore. You told him the truth, he hates you. Some of us actually like you and know everything there is to know about you, but do you want their attention? No. You want the attention of a scummy son of a bitch like…”

“If you make this about you, I swear to God,” you warned and Simon’s brow line wrinkled when he turned to face you. “He was my friend. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t be here. So I don’t want to hear it.”

“He would rather you dead at this point, so if you want to stay alive and stop pissing him off, then you are going to fuck off like he told you to,” Simon demanded and you tilted your head to the side. “He hates you. When are you going to see that?”

“I’m not giving up on him,” you frowned, heading down the hallway and Simon followed close behind you.

“Haven’t you heard of pushing your luck? People hate you, you try to make them like you and the more you are around, the more they hate you?” Simon pointed out in an assertive tone. “You are going to make him want to kill you more and…”

“Y/N?” a voice called out causing the both of you to stop and turn to look to see that Doctor Carson was standing in the doorway of his office. Simon let out an angered growl and Doctor Carson shifted uneasily on his feet. “Can I steal her away for a moment?”

“Don’t know, can you?” Simon mocked him and you rolled your eyes, bumping Simon with your shoulder as you moved toward the door.

“What we talked about a while ago…” Doctor Carson spoke up in a whisper, “I have a few of those tests if you want to check.”

“Tests?” you repeated his words and your body tensed up when you realized what he was talking about. Gulping down, you thought about the idea of being pregnant again and you looked over at Simon who was still watching you like a hawk. “Not right now.”

“Have you had your period yet?” Doctor Carson spoke up again very quietly, trying to give you the best of privacy as he could. When you shook your head, Doctor Carson gulped down. “If we find out sooner rather than later, then we can get started on getting your baby into the world healthily if you really are pregnant.”

“Stress could cause you to have a late period, right?” you confirmed and the doctor nodded, but his eyebrow arched and he looked you over. “What?”

“It’s true, but we’d still really have to worry since it’s been…a while. If I say something…” Doctor Carson looked to Simon and pulled you further into the room so he could close the door to give you some more privacy. “You asked me if you looked pregnant and I told you no. Then, you didn’t. Now…”

“Now?” you breathed out tightly and saw his eyes shifted downward toward your stomach. “I look pregnant?”

“It’s the way your stomach is set,” the doctor nodded and you felt your heart sink in your chest. You slumped back against the wall and let out a tense wince. “I could be wrong, sometimes stress makes us feel certain things, but…”

“I can’t do this right now,” you explained hearing a knocking on the door and you stepped in closer to the door. “I’ll be back to take one of the tests later, okay?”

“I’ll be ready when you are,” Carson explained with a nod of his head and a moment later Simon pushed the door open. He looked between the two of you and frowned when you pushed into him so that you two were in the hallway.

“What the hell was that?” Simon inquired with a half laugh. “That fucker closed the door on me.”

“Because it was none of your business,” you answered with a scoff and Simon let out a fake, wounded sound.

“You better go get ready by the way. Your hubby wants to go back to the place you guys were at the other day with my group of people,” Simon informed you with a bright smile. “Apparently he wants to make you feel more comfortable about something and doesn’t want the others to know.”

“What?” you looked over your shoulder at Simon and a moment later heard Negan’s booming voice filling the room not far away. “We’re doing what?”

“Going back to where you were the other day,” Simon explained with a bright smile. “So I hope you are prepared for that, since Negan apparently gave you a good whipping that day…”

A shocked sound fell from your lips when Simon smacked over your bottom and you could feel your cheeks blushing over with anger when he spoke up again, “Might want to fake that limp a little better or people will start noticing that you aren’t really hurt.”

* * *

 

Moving through the wooded area, you paid close attention to the area surrounding you. After the other day, you didn’t trust being out here. Even though Negan assured you his men got the walkers, there was always a chance that they didn’t. Negan insisted on the two of you going off alone together, but you really didn’t feel like that was the best of decisions on his part. He had given you Lucille to hold during the walk and you wished he would have given you a gun instead.

“We haven’t talked much lately,” Negan’s voice pressed in behind you. Looking back at him, you saw that he had his gun down at his side in preparation for if something bad happened. Negan cleared his throat uneasily when you shrugged your shoulders and continued to move forward into the woods. The sun was starting to set and you knew that the two of you should be heading back soon so that way you weren’t stuck in the woods while it was dark out. You didn’t even know why he had the two of you doing this anyways. He said it was to try and find something that might hint to what happened the other day, but you highly doubted it. “You’ve gotta talk to me darlin’. Is this about the guy you killed? Is this about Michael? Are you mad at me for something?”

“I’m not mad at you,” you sighed and clung tightly to Lucille at your side. Your mind was swirling through so many things right now that you didn’t know what to think about. You had been depressed and upset lately, but when Doctor Carson mentioned that he might have thought you were pregnant, you didn’t know how to respond. How were you going to hide a pregnancy from the rest of The Sanctuary? The two of you were hiding your marriage; a baby at this point wouldn’t help a thing. You knew it was what Negan wanted badly, but right now…you really didn’t seem that enthused about the idea. “I don’t feel great about those things you mentioned, but…”

 “But?” Negan’s brow arched as he stared out at you. “Shit, just talk to me.”

“I…don’t know,” you lied through gritted teeth, knowing that there was so much that was bothering you. There was you killing someone who Simon ultimately set up to attack Negan. You were lying to Negan about that. You weren’t opening up to him about the possibility of being pregnant. You were still upset about the thing that happened with Michael the other day. There were so many things to choose from. “I’m just, not thinking clearly.”

“Baby…” Negan frowned, putting his gun back in the holster before moving across the distance to you to reach out to cup your face in his hands. Negan forced you to look at him and you felt uncomfortable when his hazel eyes tried to read yours. “What’s going on here? I’m trying to understand what I can do to help you.”

“It’s nothing Negan. I’ve just never killed someone and…you got hurt and all I keep thinking about is you hurt. That’s the last thing I want,” you answered, trying to give him some kind of answer and Negan frowned. His gloved fingertips pressed into your hair to brush it away from your face and he smiled. “I can’t stand to see something bad happen to you.”

“Nothing bad is gonna happen to me,” Negan whispered with a sigh, moving forward to wrap his arms around you tightly. His beard tickled over your skin while he nestled his nose against the side of your neck. “I’m gonna be right here…I promise.”

“You can’t really make a promise like that,” you pointed out and felt Negan pull back enough to stare out at you. His eyes searched yours for a moment before pressing forward to kiss you softly. The brush of his lips was sensitive and afterwards, you found yourself lowering your head against his chest while he hugged you close. “It’s just been a hard thing to get accustomed to.”

“You want me to take your mind off things?” Negan questioned and you felt him caressing up and over the center of your back before lowering his caress down over the planes of your back. “Ever have any sex fantasies about doing it in the woods?”

“Oh yeah, that idea turns me on so much,” you mocked him, hearing his snort fill the air when you pulled away from his grasps. “I can picture it now, you pounding away while a walker hears us and decides to snack on us or some random person strolls up, thinks you are mauling me and shoots one of us. After the other day being in these woods…I don’t think that’s the best idea.”

“Way to make that scenario go from a hot idea to a very negative one,” Negan teased and you rolled your eyes, moving further into the woods to only feel Negan grabbing a tight hold of you. A wince fell from your lips when Negan pushed you softly up against the tree that was before you. The thick trunk was large enough to give you support as you braced your palms in over the rough bark. Negan’s fingertips were pushing your hair away from your neck and his lips were sliding down your skin. Negan grabbed a hold of Lucille and set her against the tree before sliding his hands up your hips and over your sides. “You’ve got to be willing to take a risk every once and a while…”

“I married you, didn’t I?” you teased with a snicker, feeling Negan’s teeth nipping over the side of your neck and you took in a sharp breath. The sound of Negan pulling apart his belt behind you was heard and you gulped down uneasily. “Really? Like this?”

“Are you against it?” Negan breathed against the side of your neck, curling his arm around your waist to pull your hips further back against him. Negan’s mouth caressed over the side of your neck while you felt him reaching around you to unhook your jeans. Negan’s hands were quick to tug the material down your hips and you winced when he got them down just below your hips. The cool air against your skin caused you to tremble as Negan urged you to lower down just a bit more while his fingertips centered in over your mound. Negan’s rough caress pressed in over you and you bit back a cry as his touch focused on getting you warmed up for him. “I’ll take that as a no.”

“I can’t often tell you no…” you purred, clinging to the tree before you as you heard Negan fumbling with his pants behind you. The sound of his belts jangling behind you was heard as you felt Negan press in behind you. His grip on your hips was rough and Negan was breathing heavily from behind you.

“That’s because you love me and I’m too damn charming,” Negan reminded you with a thick laugh and his lips pressed in over the side of your neck. A wince fell from your lips when you felt him pressing into you and swiftly thrusting his hips forward. Negan moaned against the side of your neck and his nails bit into your hips. “It’s been too long since we’ve done this…”

“Maybe make this one a quickie? I really don’t…” you let out a cry feeling Negan’s hips smacking up against your bottom over and over again. Grasping tightly onto the tree before you, you tried to brace yourself from falling as his powerful thrusts continued. “I don’t want to get any walkers attacking us.”

“Better stay quiet then,” Negan panted against the side of your neck. The movements of his thrusts were getting harder and faster behind you, causing you to have to bite down on your bottom lip to keep from making any noise. Negan’s grunts were muted behind you as you felt his right hand reaching up to wrap around the side of your neck. “Fuck…”

Negan’s left hand slid around the front of you to caress over your sensitive flesh, making you let out a cry. A moment later his other hand reached up to wrap around your mouth to keep you quiet. His teeth bit into the side of your neck to try and keep himself silenced when he began to buck harder and harder against you.

“Are you almost there?” Negan breathed against your skin, his winces filling the air and you heard his belt clanking behind you. You nodded, a desperate sound falling from your lips when you felt him forcing his length harder inside of you. Negan winced behind you and his thrusts were extremely rough behind you, clearly trying to make this as fast as possible. You let out a cry against Negan’s hand when your body fell forward and Negan’s hand kept a stronger hold over your mouth. Your legs were giving out on you when you felt your body shaking and trembling with the caress Negan had over you. A few moments later his muted moans against the side of your neck filled the air when his hips bucked up a few more times. The warmth of his release filled you and you felt Negan’s body falling in against yours. A laugh fell deep from his throat and you could feel your heart pounding deep from within your chest. “Got through that fuck without getting my ass gnawed on.”

Letting out an amused laugh, you rolled your eyes and turned your head to look at Negan when he released your mouth. You kissed him slowly and a moment later the loud sound of a bang filled the air making you both jump. Negan quickly pulled out of you and you tried pulling your pants up as fast as possible. Turning to face Negan, you watched him pulling his pants back together as off in the distance the sounds of shouts and gun shots filled the air.

 “Son of a bitch,” Negan stammered, getting his belt fully back together before he pulled his gun from the holster. Negan looked back at you, his dark eyes serious as he grunted heavily. Negan motioned you to grab Lucille and you did as you were told knowing that something was obviously taking place. “Stay behind me.”

Nodding, you followed Negan back toward where the sounds were coming from and heard the sound of shuffling around you. You stopped where you were and Negan continued to move forward. Waiting, you took a moment to listen before catching back up to Negan. The sound of movement was heard behind you and you reached for the gun that Negan had tucked into the back of his pants. Negan gave you an expression where it looked like he didn’t agree with you having a gun, but he allowed it. When you got back to where Negan’s group was, you saw they had people lined up on their knees. One of Negan’s men was on the ground dead and you could see Negan’s annoyance filtering over his face.

“They tried attacking us boss,” Simon informed Negan and a moment later you found your pulse leaping in your throat when you saw Simon raise up his gun. A few shots went off and you saw Negan duck when he looked over his shoulder at the area Simon shot and you saw a few men with guns on the ground. You really believed that Simon was attempting to shoot Negan at that point. “They’ve been coming out of everywhere.”

“What the fucking fuck is going on here?” Negan blurt out with an angered breath and you could hear the sounds of more gunshots going off in the woods. Negan looked to Simon and nodded toward the wooded area. “Give me Lucille…”

“Negan, you should stay here,” you pointed out and Negan shook his head, holding his hand further out for Lucille. You handed her to Negan and Negan moved forward, leading you over to the truck to wait for him. Negan waited until you were safely in the truck and you watched him and Simon disappear into the woods together. You clung tightly to the gun at your side seeing the rest of Negan’s men off in the distance still keeping a close eye on the group that they had lined up. The sound of more gunshots made you cringe and you could feel your heart hammering inside of your chest. When you saw Negan and Simon coming out of the woods again, you dropped down from the truck and ran to Negan’s arms. When he hugged you tightly, you could feel him holding you closely and you heard Simon let out an angered breath.

“Sure, let’s show all of the Saviors that the two of you are more than just fuck buddies,” Simon turned in the other direction and you rolled your eyes. Negan’s arms held to you tightly when you saw one of the men that were in the line-up shifting and you caught it out of the corner of your eye. Negan pressed a kiss against your cheek when you saw that man shifting and a moment later Negan jolted when he heard the sound of a gun going off. “What the fuck?”

Negan pulled away from your arms to see that you were holding the handgun you took from him and his hazel eyes got wide. Looking over his shoulder, he saw the man you had shot laying out on the floor, blood gurgling from his mouth and he turned to you with a shocked look.

“He had a gun and he was about to attack you,” you handed the gun over to Negan and saw Negan looking between you and Simon. You felt your body shaking again as Negan looked back to the man who was on the ground holding his stomach where you had shot him. There was a gun that was indeed just out of the man’s reach showing that he had dropped it when you had shot him. You sat on the edge of the inside of the back of the truck and didn’t want to see the aftermath. Once again you got jumpy and pulled the trigger on someone who seemed like they were about to attack Negan.

“Well, he’s dead…” Simon informed you with a heavy breath, almost as if he was coming over to let you know again that you had done something completely against what you believed in. Your gaze rose and you saw Negan walking over to the truck while his men kept a better watch over those in the lineup.

“When you saw Michael the other day, are you sure it was Michael you saw or was it clothes like his?” Negan questioned and you felt your body tensing up at the question. Of all the things to be asking, this wasn’t the time or the place. “Was it the clothes that made you think it was him?”

“It was him,” you insisted and Negan reached out to grab a hold of your jaw to lift it. You could see at the end of the line one of the Saviors had just dragged another man to the lineup. He was tall like Michael and was wearing similar clothes that Michael had been wearing that day, just dirtier now. “It was Michael…”

“Those clothes look mighty fucking familiar to Michael’s…and this group decides to attack us now? Doesn’t that seem a little convenient to you?” Negan suggested and you felt a warmth filling your body. Your finally spotted the guy you shot laid out on the ground, blood pooling around him. The world started to spin around you and you gulped down uneasily. Negan continued to rant about something, but his words were lost on you. Maybe Daryl was right about you. You were willing to hurt people that wanted to hurt Negan and kill him. The firm grasp of Negan grabbing a hold of your jaw was felt so that he could get you to look at him. “Listen to me when I’m talking to you.”

A glare pressed in over your features as Negan forced you to look at him, “I get it…killing someone is hard. It’s not something you get used to. The first time I killed someone, it knocked me on my ass and I tried to pretend that it didn’t bother me the next few times, but it did. It does. I understand and I know you were protecting me. I fucking get it, but I need you to remember the other day. Was that the fucker you saw or was it Michael?”

“I know it was Michael,” you explained and Negan’s face scrunched together almost as if he was upset with your answer. Negan let go of your jaw and left you with Simon near the truck. Negan started up his pitch; the one you knew he had done with the original group at Alexandria and the one he had done with you when he first found you. “Negan, no.”

“They attacked us, they have to learn,” Negan boasted from where he was leaning back in front of the group, lifting Lucille up just enough for the people to look to the ground, clearly terrified. “One of them has got to go considering they killed one of my men. Isn’t that right?”

“One of them is gone,” you got up from the truck, but felt Simon reaching out to hold you back. You had already killed one of their own in the name of protecting Negan, but that clearly wasn’t good enough for Negan. Negan looked to you with a frown. If looks could kill, you felt like the look he was giving you right now was one of those. “Negan.”

“Get her to shut up,” Negan demanded and you felt Simon’s hand sliding in over your mouth to silence you and you watched as Negan continued his monologue.

Watching closely, you could see the people with fear in their eyes as Negan stepped before them. He whipped Lucille around in a teasing fashion and when you saw Negan step before the man that was dressed like Michael had been that day, you tried to step forward, but Simon wrapped his arm firmly around your waist while his hand pressed down harder over your mouth. A desperate sound vibrated against Simon’s hand when you watched Negan bring the bat down over the man’s head. You watched, flinching every time Negan beat the man with the bat. Your body was shaking and you could feel Simon holding onto you with everything that he had. Negan swung the bat in the air after he was done and the blood from the bat flung from the bat and you could feel some of it hitting you in the face while he continued to mock the group. He demanded his Saviors take care of them to find out why they were attacking and to get any information from them that they could.

When everyone was cleared up, you could feel your body trembling when you watched Negan moving in closer you and Simon. Blood was splattered all over his body and his brow line creased. His eyes narrowed while he stared out at you and you felt him reaching out to wipe at the blood on your face.

“Shit sweetheart, I’m sorry,” Negan handed off Lucille to Simon after you pulled away from Simon’s grasp.

You jerked you face away from Negan angrily and you could tell that he was confused. When you stepped forward, you looked to the bodies that were left out in the middle of the street and your stomach began to turn. Quickly moving to the side of the road, you felt the contents in your stomach emptying and felt a pair of hands on your shoulders.

“Baby, it wasn’t something you haven’t seen before,” Negan tried to comfort you, caressing his hand up and over your shoulders. You didn’t know how to react as Negan’s breath was pressing in over your ear while he spoke to you. When he pressed his lips against your temple, you turned away from him and heard him sigh. “I’m sorry, okay? I fucking know you don’t like that…I do. I just…I guarantee I will find out that the fucker is the guy you saw the other day. He was the one that scoped us out and he was the one that led this attack. You’ll see that I’m right and you won’t feel as bad about this when the information is brought to light.”

“I know what I saw Negan,” you insisted and Negan hushed you, brushing your hair back and he let out an irritated sound.

“But it doesn’t make sense why if he was against The Saviors why he would save you and Simon,” Negan reminded you and you realized that Negan must have not believed you from the start, but lied to you about believing you about Michael to appease you. “I realize you didn’t want me to kill that man…but I firmly believe it had to be done. It was like what you did in killing that guy just now.”

“I did it to save you,” you snapped at him, feeling his hand soothing in over the center of your back and you felt your body shaking. “It wasn’t at all the same thing.”

“I did it to save us. All of us. You kill one of my own and I’ll make sure to let the group know what they did wrong in fucking with us,” Negan answered, his hand urging you to look at him. Negan’s eyes searched yours and you could see that he was angry about what happened with the men attacking, but trying to appeal to you to make you understand why he had to do it. “I’m sorry that it upset you so much…”

“You’re not,” you responded, shaking your head as you spoke. A frown pressed in over Negan’s lips as he lowered his hand from your face. “How long are we going to keep this up? You want to have a family. What happens when I get pregnant? What happens when I’m carrying your baby? People will continue to try and kill you. People will continue to try and hurt me when they find out I’m your wife and I’m pregnant because it will be to get to you. You keep doing this and nothing will ever change. It will continue to get worse.”

“First of all…are we out to tell the fucking world about us? Are you ready for that?” Negan stammered, his brow arching in response. He took a look around at the men that continued to pack those that they captured into the back of some of the trucks. You frowned and you felt Negan reaching out to urge you to look at him again. “In the event you are pregnant, we do what we have continued to do. We protect each other. Twice, you have protected me. Twice you have kept me safe. You have proven to me that you fucking love me. You have proven to me that you will do anything to protect me. I would do anything to protect you and my child if you were pregnant.”

Your face flushed over with the thought of what Doctor Carson had told you earlier in thinking that you could be pregnant. You thought about talking to Daryl earlier and all the things he said to you. He rehashed to you what Negan had done and again, Negan displayed the monster he could be to make a point. He wasn’t upset about killing someone; he was upset that you were not happy with him. If you were pregnant, this wasn’t exactly the life you wanted to live with Negan. Negan continued to make you promises as he comforted you, but you still found yourself lost in contemplation.

* * *

 

Hearing the sound of Negan’s shower turning off, you looked toward the bathroom to see him coming into the room with a towel wrapped loosely around his waist. He was whistling to himself and he seemed completely okay with everything that had gone down tonight. That in itself seemed to upset you more than it should have.

Looking down at your stomach while you laid in his bed, you slid your hand over your lower abdomen and gulped heavily. While Negan was taking a shower, you could have gone to see Doctor Carson to get those tests, but there was part of you that didn’t want to know if you were pregnant or not.

Taking a final look at Negan as he looked through things, you turned on your side and hoped that maybe you could attempt to pretend to sleep. You really didn’t feel like talking much.

“You’re tired already?” Negan’s voice pressed in behind you as the bed shifted and you felt the warmth of Negan’s wet body pressing in close to you. You closed your eyes when Negan’s lips slid in over the side of your neck and toward the area behind your ear. The soft grasp of his hand over your hip was felt and an uncomfortable breath fell from your lips. “I still keep thinking about what you’ve done to keep me safe recently and it makes me so fucking hard.”

Negan’s hand reached for yours to urge it over the front of the towel that he was still wearing to give you proof behind his words. You closed your eyes and gulped down heavily when he nipped at your earlobe and teased his tongue over the flesh.

“I’m really not in the mood Negan,” you stated with a sigh and pulled your hand from his towel, hearing him let out a small laugh from behind you.

“Baby, we barely got to enjoy ourselves in the woods today. I can spend some time making you feel good,” Negan suggested, reaching out to pull you in closer to him on the bed. The warmth of his hands pressing up under your shirt was felt and when his fingertips connected with your lower abdomen, you hissed. Negan hushed you and tried to urge you to relax while his palm squeezed over your breast. “Would you like that? Help you take your mind off things…?”

“Negan,” you frowned while he continued his heated kisses over your flesh. Negan’s hands moved to your pajama bottoms and as he pulled down the back of them, you let out a whimper. The grasp of Negan’s hand pulled your hips in closer to him and when you heard him pulling the towel open, you felt your cheeks flushing over. When Negan tried to push his hips forward, you firmly reached around behind you to shove your hand into his lower abdomen to get him away from you. “Damn it Negan, I said no!”

“Whoa, okay…” Negan replied, his face shocked when you shoved him away from you again and got up from the bed, pulling your pants back over yourself. “What’s going on?”

“I just told you I wasn’t in the fucking mood,” you explained and Negan frowned, clearly not understanding where your outburst was coming from. “Sex doesn’t make all things better. Unlike you, death does not turn me the fuck on. I’m not horny because I killed someone to save the person I loved.”

“Oh, that…” Negan sighed and you watched him adjust on the bed so that he was sitting up to stare out at you. “Are you feeling okay? You have been kind of cranky lately. You’re attitude has kind of been through the roof and you’ve been seeing things…”

“I saw Michael damn it,” you grunted and Negan’s brow arched when you rolled your eyes at him. “Forget it; you will never understand why I’m upset.”

“I’m your husband. You are supposed to talk to me about these things,” Negan pointed out with a frustrated sound. “You gotta stop saying shit like that. You are clearly fucking mad at me, but I’m trying here. What more do you want me to do?”

“I don’t know, I just…I wish sometimes you would listen to me,” you moved over toward the edge of the couch and Negan got up from the bed. He grabbed his towel and wrapped it back around his waist before stepping in closer to urge you took look up at him by sliding his finger under your jaw.

“I’m not the man I used to be. I wish you would see that. I changed for you. I still do things you don’t like; I told you that would fucking happen, but you knew what I was when we got married. You knew what you were stepping into, but you still love me. You wouldn’t have done what you did today otherwise sweetheart. I fucking love you, okay?” Negan lowered down to his knees before you and you frowned. You reached out to slide your hand in over the side of his face. “I know you don’t understand or agree with what I’m doing, but I promise you…everything is going to be okay and work itself out.”


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan and the reader hit an unsteady place in their relationship and have a very uncomfortable encounter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has lots of angst, a bit of smut and Negan/the reader are very, very aggressive with each other. If that kind of thing turns you off or upsets you, just thought it should be known ahead of time.

Clutching tightly to your pillow, you could feel Negan shifting behind you on the bed and you looked over your shoulder to see that he was still sleeping. You hadn’t been able to sleep at all and now that you could see the sun starting to rise, you damned yourself knowing that your mind was too busy thinking about the two men that were killed yesterday. You kept asking yourself ‘what if’ questions. Negan clearly believed that you were wrong in seeing Michael and you started to question yourself as well. You were originally certain that it was in fact Michael, but since Negan was so sure that you were wrong, maybe you were wrong. Then you started thinking about the man you killed to protect Negan. Did he have a family? A wife? Children? Your mind was thinking thoughts that you knew that you shouldn’t have been thinking, but you couldn’t help it at this point.

After talking about things with Negan last night, he took you back to bed and cuddled with you. He thought things were clearly alright again because he was having a perfectly easy time sleeping, but you weren’t. You were still upset about things and that wasn’t going to change anytime soon.

Rolling over slowly, you reached out to slide your hand in over Negan’s naked chest and caressed over the center of it. You still loved Negan; there was no question about that. You loved him more than anything and that’s not what you felt bad about. The man before you was without a doubt the love of your life, you were just haunted by the idea of those that you killed for him and the man that Negan so easily killed last night. The fact that Negan didn’t feel bad about it or question it at all did worry you though. Would Negan be what you became? Would you no longer care about the people you killed like he did?

Negan’s large hand reached up to press in over yours in his sleep and he clutched your hand in his, squeezing it tightly. His jaw clenched and you watched him toss a bit in his sleep and you scoot in closer to him to cuddle your head in against his collarbone area. Negan’s breathing had gotten louder and you pressed a loving kiss over his skin. You didn’t believe Negan was the villain or the bad guy like everyone had tried to make you believe, but you did wish that he would just listen to you sometimes and not always swing first and deal with the consequences later.

Closing your eyes, you eventually seemed to doze off, but soon was awakened by the sensation of Negan’s lips pressing kisses over the side of your neck. His large body was over yours and you let out a nervous breath.

“Shhh…it’s okay,” he hushed you, his words vibrating against your skin before he went back to kissing over the side of your neck. You felt his weight shifting over you and you gulped down uneasily. “I love you so fucking much…”

“I love you too,” you whispered, staring up at him as he pulled back enough to stare down at you. His fingertips brushed through your hair and his gorgeous eyes looked deeply into yours. “So much.”

“Good,” Negan slurred, leaning forward to brush his lips over yours. His kiss was slow and he focused on the ways he knew that you liked being kissed. Negan’s hips softly ground up against yours and his moan pressed in over your lips. “Fuck…”

“Negan…” you tried to mutter, but he hushed you and shook his head. His rough fingertips traced over your lips before you watched him get up on his knees to pull the material of your pajama pants from your body. When he tossed them aside and settled himself between your hips again, you let out a long breath. You still weren’t really in the mood for this, but he clearly was and you just figured it was time to shut up and do what he pleased. You were just in a negative mood and you knew it. Negan reached up to pull the shirt from your body and when you felt him lower in over you, you wrapped your arms around his body. The warmth of the skin to skin contact between your nude bodies felt good, but you knew it was more than cuddling that Negan wanted. “Could you…”

“Hmmm?” he hummed against your lips and you gulped down feeling him nipping at your bottom lip.

“Get me a little warmed up first?” you suggested, hoping that in having Negan do something to help you get in the mood that you might actually get interested in having sex with him like he wanted. Your words caused a bright smile to press in over his features as his brow arched. “Please.”

“You want daddy to use his mouth?” Negan inquired and you nodded. His thick laugh filled the air and he licked over his lips before nodding. Negan slid down your body carefully, pressing kisses over your body as he lowered himself below the blankets. Wincing, you felt him pushing your thighs up as he rest himself between them.

The warmth of his kisses drew you to close your eyes as you tried to focus on what it was he was doing while his mouth and tongue worked over you. Your body was definitely enjoying what he was doing, but at the same time your mind was being a total asshole about all of this. Physically you were in the mood, but mentally you just weren’t.

Clutching onto Negan’s hair, you could hear him humming against your flesh and it caused you to whimper out. Negan took that as initiative to crawl back from under the blankets to lower himself over your body. Negan reached between the two of you to forcefully lead his body to yours, slamming forward and causing you to cry out. His groan filled the air as you felt his movements fast and rough from the start. Closing your eyes, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders while he thrust over you and you bit down on your bottom lip.

“Do you like the way daddy’s cock feels inside of you?” Negan breathed against the side of your neck and you let out an uneasy sound. “Ah, fuck. You’re hot, wet pussy feels so good squeezing around my big cock.”

Usually Negan’s dirty talk worked very well on you, but today not so much. You tried to let him continue, but after a minute or two, you pressed your hand in over his lower abdomen to get him to halt his movements. Negan lifted his head, his hazel eyes staring down at you. “What’s wrong baby?”

“This isn’t working for me…” you answered truthfully and his thick eyebrows tensed together and he nodded. He rolled over onto his back, pulling you up over his hips to switch the position and you let out a tense sound. Clearly he thought that you meant that the position wasn’t working for you and he was trying to let you control everything. “Baby…”

“It’s okay…” Negan hushed, sliding his hands up over the sides of your body and toward your breasts. When he cupped them in his hands you gulped down heavily and he sighed out when he took notice that you weren’t moving. “What’s going on?”

“I just…I don’t have the energy for this right now,” you answered and a frown pressed in over his features. Negan let out a frustrated sound, but he rolled to the side and got you off of him. He rolled out onto his back and let out an uncomfortable sound while he rubbed at his eyes. “I’m sorry Negan…”

“Yeah,” he simply nodded and you took a moment to look him over. You could feel that your body was still reacting to what was happening, but you just couldn’t get your mind into the moment. “It’s okay.”

Gulping down, you moved down his body and turned your body so that your head was close to his lap. Leaning forward, you wrapped your lips around the tip of his cock, hearing his breathing getting a bit heavier. You were going to try and give him the release that he was craving. Even if your mind wasn’t craving this right now, you were going to give him a little bit of something to appease him.  

“You don’t have…” Negan moaned out when you swirled your tongue around the tip of his cock, “to do that.”

You took your time focusing over his length and his heavy breaths filled the air when you took him further back in your throat. After a few minutes of teasing your mouth over his body, you could feel his fingertips sliding back between your thighs to caress over your folds and you let out an uncomfortable sound.

“Negan…no,” you slurped when you pulled your lips away from his body and you heard him letting out an angered sound. Negan shoved you away from him on the bed and you watched him moving over toward the dressers to push around for some of his clothes. “Negan, what are you doing? I just…I just want to focus on you right now, not me.”

“Apparently I can’t even touch my wife right now,” Negan retorted, tossing a few things around and you frowned. “I don’t know how we are supposed to try to start a family with you not even letting me touch you.”

“I’m just tired right now Negan,” you tried to reason with him and you could see him look back at you with a glare over his shoulder. He knew you were full of shit and this was more so from everything that had been happening over the last few days. “I didn’t sleep last night, but I have no problem trying to help you...”

“Nah, it’s okay. I need a shower and I can just jerk myself the fuck off. At least my hand won’t fucking mind touching me,” Negan snorted, looking to you with an unhappy expression and you let out a long sigh. This was getting blown way out of proportion. Reaching for your shirt, you pulled it in over your body and reached for your pajama pants as you moved for the bathroom.

“Negan?” you called out, getting your pajama pants back on when he slammed the door shut behind him and an uncomfortable breath fell from your lips. Reaching for the door, you felt that it was locked and you let out a frustrated sound. “Come on Negan, this isn’t against you…”

The door pulled open and you could see an angered Negan standing before you, his hands resting on his hips, “This feels a whole lot like it is against me. I’m not allowed to fucking touch you. I’m not allowed to have sex with you…”

“Negan, we had sex yesterday. It’s not like we didn’t,” you pointed out with a laugh, but his face scrunched up in a bothered expression. “This is all new to me Negan. It’s not against you. I have nothing wrong with you; I just have a hard time getting my mind beyond everything right now.”

“Well, don’t let me stop you from your little woe is me fucking moment,” Negan snarled and went to slam the door shut again, but you stopped him from doing so. A wince fell from your lips when you felt the door smacking up against your hand that you put up to stop him from slamming it shut. “Back off.”

“Listen you stubborn asshole,” you began, stepping forward to grab a tight hold of his face and you could see the indignant look still heavily over his features. “You are my everything. I love you more than anything else in this world. Just sometimes, the mind just doesn’t want to have sex. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to have sex with you. Trust me, nothing feels better than how you make me feel when we are doing that…”

Negan’s angry expression slowly began to fade as you spoke to him and you could see his eyes shifting. You tipped up on your toes to press a kiss over the center of his lips and he wasn’t angry against the movements.

“I’m just tired—both mentally and physically, but it doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with you,” you insisted and he sighed heavily, looking you over.

“I feel like you are fucking pissed at me for…being me,” Negan answered and you shook your head. “It seems like you regret being with me darlin’.”

“That’s the last thing I regret,” you assured him, watching him bite into his bottom lip. “I don’t regret that at all. You are the best decision I’ve made in a very long time. I love you Negan, very much.”

“I love you too,” Negan frowned, moving forward to wrap his arms around you tightly and you felt a bit of relief in feeling him holding you in his arms. You rest your head against his bare chest and listened to the sound of the soft pounding of his heart. Negan reached up to brush his fingertips throughout your hair and you gulped down uneasily. “I’m just fucking stressed. I’m sorry.”

“I get it. It has to be hard to be a guy in charge of so much and every decision you make stands for something,” you whispered and Negan sighed, pulling back enough so that he could grab a soft hold of your jaw.

“Or every decision that you make might piss off your wife,” Negan’s brow quirked when you gave him a frown. “I need to take a shower for real though…join me?”

You thought about it for a moment before nodding. Negan was quick to get into the shower as you peeled your clothes from your body and moved into the shower with him. When you got into the shower, he was already lathering the shampoo into his hair and you stepped in behind him. Your arms wrapped around his torso and you teased your fingers up and over his chest.

“Can I ask you something and have you be honest with me?” Negan spoke out as you pressed soft kisses against his wet shoulder. Negan leaned back closer to you as the warm water poured down in over the both of you. “Do you think that we are fighting more because I haven’t been able to get you pregnant?”

“We’re fighting more?” you slurred against his skin, nipping softly against his flesh and he let out a tight grunt. “We’ve had one fight…unless you consider right now to be a fight.”

“Well…a little bit,” Negan nodded and your hand reached around him to wrap your palm around his still solid length. Negan moaned out while you continued to pump your hand over his solid cock and he loosened up before you. “You’re trying to change the subject with this…”

“You said you were going to jerk off in the shower, I’m just helping,” you teased, feeling his hips bucking forward into your caress and you bit at his skin again.

“I think the pregnant thing is something we need to talk about,” Negan whimpered, his heavy breaths filling the shower when he stopped your movements and turned around to face you. “It’s something that is really bothering me. I’m really fucking upset about it. I really…really…want to have a baby. I feel like we’re…uncomfortable because I really want one and you don’t. Like we’re not getting one because we’re on the offs about everything.”

“Who said I’m not pregnant?” you stammered and Negan’s head tilted to the side, looking down at you with a confused look. “I could be pregnant. We both just couldn’t know it.”

“That’s something you think you would know,” Negan insisted with a snort and he shook his head. “I think it would be kind of obvious.”

“We’re still trying, that’s all that matters,” you tried to hush him, knowing that Dr. Carson told you that it was possible you were pregnant. In fact, it seemed like Carson really believed you actually were, but for some reason right now, you didn’t feel like it would be appropriate to bring it up. Reaching for his solid length again, you watched Negan’s head fall back and you tipped up on your toes to kiss over his Adam’s apple. “Until then, let’s just focus on getting you the release you need right now to help you feel better.”  

* * *

 

Pushing around at the food on your plate, you let out a long sigh and felt extremely uncomfortable. After your shower with Negan, the two of you were pretty silent between each other. There wasn’t much said. You knew that Negan was still upset with you for not wanting to have sex after everything, but you just couldn’t get yourself in the mood at the time. Looking up over the landing that was around the lunchroom, you saw Negan talking to Sherry. Negan seemed to be laughing and smiling while they spoke. Their closeness made you uncomfortable, but you didn’t have long to react to it as you felt someone sitting in next to you. Your body locked up when you looked to see that it was Michael. There was a wide, cocky smile pressed in over his lips as he looked in your direction.

“Hey you, did you miss me?” his thick English accent muttered and you felt your body locking up at the closeness of him. The cocky expression over his face made you uncomfortable as you shifted away from him. “Oh come on, you can’t still think it was me that you saw? Why would I save your life all that time ago? Why would I save Simon if I was out to get you guys?”

“I don’t know, but I know what I saw,” you retorted and moved your seat over so that you weren’t so close to the larger man beside you. “I don’t think we should be by each other Michael.”

“Y/N, I would never do anything to hurt you,” Michael tried to assure you, but you felt uncomfortable as he reached out to try and touch your arm. “I’ve been there for you from the moment I’ve met you. Why is it your boy believes me, but you don’t? Negan came to me. Negan talked to me and he told me that you’ve been having a hard time with things lately because of something that happened. If he believes me and trusts me, why don’t you?”

“Negan said that?” you blurted out and looked to Michael seeing his bright green eyes staring out at you. He nodded and shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t believe that.”

“It’s true, you should ask him yourself,” Michael answered with a loud gulp and you pushed your food away from you knowing that you no longer had an appetite. “You are my friend Y/N. I wouldn’t do anything to upset you or hurt you. I swear.”

“Y/N,” a voice interrupted the two of you and you felt thankful when you looked up to see Doctor Carson standing before you. “Can we talk?”

“Excuse us Michael,” you muttered, getting up from the table to follow Doctor Carson toward his office. You were somewhat thankful for the fact that the doc was able to pull you away from Michael, but at the same time stressed because you knew what this was about. “Look, I know what you are going to say…”

“Then why haven’t you come for one of the tests that I had The Saviors find specifically for you,” Doctor Carson stammered and you felt your heart racing. You didn’t have an answer to his question. You were scared. You didn’t know what to do with Negan. You felt like you were pregnant. It felt obvious to you, but you were scared if you were. What would happen if you found out you were? Negan wasn’t going to change. He already made that clear and you were already throwing yourself out there. “You need to know. If you are pregnant, you need to start getting prepared for things…”

“I just…I haven’t told Negan…” you let out a long, sharp breath and Doctor’s Carson’s brows furrowed. He leaned back against the counter that was in his office and gave you a sympathetic look. “I’m scared to tell him. I’m scared of being pregnant. I just, I know I have to tell him.”

“If Negan knows that I knew you were pregnant and didn’t tell him…” Doctor Carson began and you shook your head. “It wouldn’t end out well.”

“That’s never going to be found out,” you promised him and looked toward the door to make sure that no one was there. “I’m going to go talk to Negan now. I know that he deserves to know and then we can take the test together. I promise that’s what I’m going to go do right now. I can’t continue to just be afraid of what if.”

“Good decision,” Doctor Carson nodded in agreement and you could feel your heart hammering in your chest. This was not what you wanted, this is not what you were expecting to do today, but it had to be done. Maybe it would make everything less tense between you and Negan just to know. “Very good decision. The last thing I want to be is on the wrong side of Negan.”

“I understand that,” you sighed and moved out of the office. Michael was still sitting at the table you were at originally and you were going to avoid that like the plague. Michael’s eyes followed your every move as you walked up the stairs and it made a chill fill your body. There was something that scared you about Michael, even if he wasn’t the man you saw in the woods.

Moving up the stairs toward where you last saw Negan, you saw that when you passed the room that Negan had all of his wives in they were all in there with no Negan. Frowning, you moved down the hallway seeing that Negan’s office door was partially opened. Stepping in closer, you heard the sounds of Negan and Simon talking. Listening, you stayed where you were and avoided going in.

“What’s going on with you, boss? I mean, you look like you’ve been hit by a truck,” Simon snorted and you pushed the door open partially to see Negan sitting at his desk. He was holding Lucille in his lap and Simon was sitting on the couch. “Marriage troubles?”

“Yes and no,” Negan answered with a huff. He wiped his bottom lip with his right hand before reaching back for Lucille again. “I’ve just been thinking about things a lot, lately. Past stuff and…”

“Ah, Lucille again, huh?” Simon muttered and you felt your jaw tightening up at the mention of Negan’s late wife. “Anything I could do to help you?”

“Very fucking unlikely,” Negan grunted and you held onto the door tightly. “I’ve been thinking about Lucille. How she would react to the way I’ve been doing things. If I was doing things right. If I was…”

“Why don’t you talk to a wife of yours? One of them is bound to have some kind of support,” Simon suggested and Negan rolled his eyes. He pushed his chair back and away from the table. Negan lifted his feet up onto his desk and stretched out. “Lucille was your wife Negan. I know I’m not someone you can open up to about things and I don’t expect you to, but you have to be close enough to one of your wives to be able to open up to them.”

“You know the girls are useless. Frankie is good for the massages. Sherry is good for…well, for fucking with Dwight,” Negan rambled and Simon crossed his legs as he stared out at Negan rambling. “Tanya can cook a decent meal and...”

“And Y/N?” Simon replied and Negan looked to him with a shrug. “She’s the closest thing to a wife that you have, right? The other ones, we know what they were used for, but Y/N is pretty much your real wife, is she not?”

“Lucille is the only real wife I’ve ever had,” Negan answered and you felt his words hit you hard. Your heart hammered in your chest as you stepped back and listened to them continue to talk. “Let’s be honest here, not one of them is a fucking real marriage. None of them are. No one will ever be like Lucille was to me.”

“Well that’s new to hear,” Simon grumbled with an uneven breath. “I thought you and Y/N were close.”

“Enough,” Negan grunted and Simon shook his head.

Stepping back and away from the door, you felt an ache in the center of your chest. You never expected to hear something like that from Negan’s mouth. You felt like what you had was a real marriage. Everything felt real to you. The fact that Negan said what the two of you had was fake, made everything hurt. Leaving Negan’s office, you headed back toward your bedroom and decided to say fuck taking the test Doctor Carson wanted you to take. You never wanted to do it anyway.

* * *

 

“You’ve been really fucking quiet,” Negan looked over at you in the truck that the two of you were in. Negan had taken you along with him and the rest of the crew for a supply run and it was just the two of you together in the truck. When you had gotten the supplies you stayed quiet. You were still upset by what had happened. You had no interest in talking to Negan after what you had heard him say to Simon. “Have you even said a word? We have one more stop to make and…”

“I’m just quiet,” you responded, looking to him with a shrug. Negan smirked at your response and nodded. “Just doing what I need.”

“I see…” Negan stammered with a heavy sigh. “I’m going to ask you to stay in the truck on this next stop. It’s a hostile area. They said they found some supplies in the woods and that there were walkers everywhere. We’re going to spread out and I don’t want you getting hurt.”

“Yeah, okay…” you simply responded and it clearly shocked Negan. “Whatever you want.”

“You’re going to just listen to me? Just like that?” Negan huffed and you nodded. Negan tapped his fingertips against the wheel and he shrugged. “I’m serious. I can’t have a repeat of what happened with Michael.”

“Yeah, I got it. You’ve got my word,” you agreed and Negan’s brow rose in interest when he stopped the truck and put it in park. “I won’t leave the truck.”

“You swear? You fucking promise that you won’t leave this truck? No matter what?” Negan repeated his words and you nodded. Negan let out a half laugh when you felt him grabbing a tight hold of your jaw to get you to look at him. “I want to hear you say it. Say, I fucking swear I won’t leave this truck Negan.”

“I said you had my word,” you angrily pulled your jaw away from his grasp. Negan looked like he wanted to continue to fight with you before shaking his head and reaching for Lucille. You could see that a few of The Saviors were walking toward the trees and you gulped down heavily. Negan got to the edge of the woods and looked back at you with a glance that you couldn’t quite read, but you looked away. By the time you looked up again, Negan was gone.

Your feelings were severely hurt and it was clear that Negan could tell something was wrong with you, but you weren’t about to open that can of worms. It just hurt to hear that Negan considered what was going on between the two of you to be ‘fake’.

A significant amount of time had passed and you saw The Saviors starting to leave the woods and return to their trucks with random odds and ends. Waiting, you noticed that Negan wasn’t returning and you cleared your throat uneasily. Looking out toward the woods, you didn’t see a sign of him and gulped down uneasily. Shifting in your seat, you looked to see that Simon had already made it back and when Negan hadn’t returned, you felt your heart pounding inside of your chest. While you were mad at Negan, you didn’t understand why he would be the last person back to the road.

Looking to the seat, you saw the hatchet that Negan had set there after he found it. Reaching for it, you got out of the truck and knew that you had promised that you wouldn’t leave the truck, but you couldn’t help your fears. Simon was looking over all the supplies that were collected and you moved to him.

“Where is Negan?” you questioned and Simon looked back at you with a shrug. “Shouldn’t you be with him?”

“He may be my boss, but I’m not watching his ass every minute of the day,” Simon reached for a clipboard to write some things down. “Now if you will excuse me, I need to do my job. I’m sure Negan will be back soon.”

A sense of irritation filled your body at the fact that Simon wasn’t at all worried that Negan wasn’t back yet. Moving toward the woods, you reached the edge of them and gulped down knowing that you had given Negan your word, but you knew that Negan shouldn’t have been taking this long. Stepping into the woods in the direction that Negan had originally gone, you heard the sounds of shuffling and could see that there were a few walkers on the ground dead.

“Son of a bitch,” Negan’s voice grunted and you felt your heart hammering when you looked up to see Negan had a walker over him. He was on the ground, his hand pressed into the center of the walker’s throat trying to keep it far back enough. Negan was desperately trying to reach the large hunting knife that he had clearly dropped and you could see another walker approaching off in the distance. Quickly moving out, you headed for the walker that was closest to you and killed it before swiftly moving out to the quickly bring the hatchet down over the walker’s head that was over Negan, desperately trying to bite him.

“God dammit,” Negan screamed out when the walker that was over him fell to the ground over him after you pulled the hatchet from its head. Negan’s glare stared out at you as you reached out your hand to try and help him up. Negan shoved your hand away and you felt your heart pounding inside of your chest. “I told you to stay in the fucking truck and you gave me your fucking word!”

“Give me a fucking break,” you disgustedly responded as Negan shook his head and grabbed a tight hold of your arm. Negan picked up his hunting knife and not far off in the distance while he pulled you forward was Lucille on the ground. Negan put the knife back in the holder where it was on his belt and then grabbed a tighter hold of your wrist. He tugged you back toward the truck and you could feel the force of him shoving you forward. “I just saved your life…again.”

“While disobeying me, again!” Negan grunted with a heavy breath as he shoved you toward the door that was at the side of his truck.

“See! I told you he was alright,” Simon approached the truck and Negan snapped his fingers at Simon to get him to go back where he was. “And cranky too…”

“Get in the fucking trucks and head back toward The Sanctuary,” Negan growled and Simon looked to you with a confused expression when Negan moved to your door to nudge you up into the truck. “I said go!”

Simon did as he was told while Negan walked around the truck and motioned the rest of The Saviors to leave before getting into the truck. Negan said nothing to you as his breathing was heavy and angered.

There was a silence that was pressing between the two of you and you knew that he was angry with you. He was very angry with you and it had been minutes and still he said nothing while he drove back toward The Sanctuary.

“Negan,” you looked over at him knowing that he was still angry. His brows were furrowed, his jaw clenching and he was breathing heavily. Clearing your throat uneasily, you watched Negan look to you with his hazel eyes and you were confused. You saved his life. You saved his life again. Yet, he was angry with you. “I’m confused. I know I said that I would stay in the truck, but everyone came back and you didn’t. I was worried and went to Simon, who didn’t care so I came after you. I saved your life. If it weren’t for me, you’d be dead.”

“You never fucking listen to me,” Negan whispered and it almost made it too hard to hear him. Negan slammed his hand into the wheel and it made you jump. Your heart was hammering inside of your chest and you didn’t know how to fix things. “How can I ever begin to trust you if you don’t fucking listen to me? What would have happened if they killed you instead? What would have happened if there were more? What if they would have surrounded you and those walkers just killed the both of us instead?”

“I couldn’t lose you,” you stammered and Negan huffed, rolling his eyes as the two of you followed the rest of the trucks not far behind back to The Sanctuary. “I love you Negan. I saw what was happening and I had to stop it.”

“I thought you were different,” Negan began, the anger growing inside of his voice. “I thought that what I felt for you was what I did for Lucille. I thought I may have loved you more than Lucille at this point.”

“And now you don’t love me because I saved your life?” you felt an ache in your chest growing as Negan grunted and you slid further down in the seat. Folding your arms out in front of your chest, you felt the pounding of your heart getting you worked up. Your face was flushed and everything inside of you was confused. All you could think about was what a bullshit line that was that Negan fed you. You knew that he didn’t love you more than Lucille. He made that clear from what he said to Simon earlier. You were so angry that Negan was acting the way he was and you couldn’t help, but find yourself getting frustrated. “Maybe I should have died, that way you might start holding me on a pedestal like you do Lucille.”

“What did you just say?” Negan blurted out, stomping on the brake enough to make you jolt forward and you watched Negan look to you with snarl on his face.

“I heard you in your office earlier comparing the rest of your wives to Lucille. I heard you tell Simon that our marriage was fake. This marriage is very much real to me Negan. It’s the only time I’ve been married. I love you so much and I’m willing to do so much for you. I know you lost Lucille…” you started and Negan’s brow arched, his breathing getting louder as you tried to explain what you heard with Simon. “I understand you loving your late wife, but it sucks that I don’t even rank close to a dead woman. I really thought that being possibly pregnant with your child would make you love me, but…”

“Get out,” Negan ordered and you felt your heart skip a beat. When you didn’t move, Negan slammed his hand over the wheel again and pointed toward the door. “I said get the fuck out!”

“Negan?” you stammered, watching Negan scooting across the truck to unhook the lock and the closeness of him made you uncomfortable. “Did you treat her this bad? Did you scream at her all the time? Or is that just me that gets all that glory, huh?”

“Get the fuck out of the truck, right now!” Negan screamed in a demand and you shook your head. The rest of the trucks were already out in the distance as Negan’s face started turning a dark shade of red. “I’m counting until three…”

“I saved your life Negan, this isn’t fair…” you felt the grasp of Negan’s fingers digging into your cheeks and you winced out.

“You don’t get to talk about Lucille, do you understand me?” Negan hissed and you felt his grasp getting stronger and stronger.

“Negan, I’m sorry,” you tried to apologize only to feel Negan shove your face aside before getting out of the truck. You watched him walk around the truck and felt Negan open your door and before you knew it, he grabbed a hold of your shirt yanking you back off the truck. You stumbled to stay on your feet as Negan slammed the door shut and started to head back toward the other end of the truck.

“I don’t want to see your fucking face,” Negan stated with a firm glare as he stopped in front of the truck and shook his head. “I’m fucking done.”

“You’re going to make me walk back to The Sanctuary?” you stammered, staring out at Negan with fear in your eyes. “It’s at least a 30 minute drive from here. I can’t walk all the way back there.”

“No, no…I’m not forcing you to walk back to The Sanctuary. You aren’t fucking allowed there anymore,” Negan shifted his weight and turned back toward you, pointing his gloved finger at you. “I’m kicking you out!”

“But what about starting a family? What about…” you tried to reason with him and Negan shrugged his shoulders. For the first time, you saw complete and total rage in Negan’s face as he stared out at you. “Negan, please…”

“I don’t give a shit. For all I know, I could be fucking sterile and I have other wives. I’ll be fucking fine,” Negan answered with a huff and a roll of his eyes and you felt like every part of your body was on fire. “You…you aren’t worth the fucking trouble.”

“All because I saved your life?” you questioned and Negan snorted before you went to reach for the door of the truck and Negan moved forward to slam the door closed. There were tears pressing in over your eyes as Negan shook his head. “Can I please at least grab my bag?”

“You mean my bag? No, you can’t,” Negan answered firmly and shook his head. “Everything you own, everything you have is mine. The only thing that’s not gonna be mine anymore is you. I don’t want to put up with someone that doesn’t listen to me. Someone who constantly breaks the fucking rules…”

“I saved your life, this isn’t fair,” you begged and the vein in Negan’s head was protruding showing you how truly angry he was with you. “Negan, please! I was upset by what you said earlier, okay? This is over reacting a bit, don’t you think?”

“You don’t get to talk about Lucille and just get away with it,” Negan snarled and you reached out to shove him firmly. Negan’s back hit the truck heavily and you could hear his growl fill the air. “You are such a fucking bitch.”

“You are a terrible fucking husband,” you snapped and Negan’s big eyes blinked out at you as you shook your head. Negan’s glare stared down at you as you watched him yank himself away from you before moving for the truck. He went inside and pulled out Lucille and you felt your heart pounding inside of your chest as he started walking at you. “What are you doing?”

“I’m a terrible fucking husband? I’m the fucking bad spouse?” Negan screamed at you and you watched him rear back the bat causing you to duck when he swung it. You fell to the ground hard when you heard the smack of the bat against something. You saw a walker hit the ground hard beside you and Negan continued to beat it over and over again. Blood and guts splattered around the ground beside you and you let out an unpleasant sound. Another walker was emerging from the woods and Negan walked off to take care of that one as well. When he returned, you shoved into him firmly when you got up and heard Lucille hit the ground. “I just saved your damn life.”

“Well if I stay in character of you, then I should fucking get even madder at you since you saved my life,” you hissed and Negan’s face scrunched up as he stared down at you. Negan lowered his head and you felt him cornering you back against the truck.

“Give me my ring,” Negan snapped his fingers and you felt your heart pounding inside of your chest. You tilted your head to the side and watched Negan snap his fingers again before looking down toward the ring that he had given you when you had gotten married. “Give me my fucking ring.”

“No, it’s mine,” you denied and Negan reached out to try and grab it from around your neck. You shoved him aside and struggled with him while he tried getting a hold of the necklace around your neck. “Fuck off Negan.”

“You’re not keeping my fucking ring,” Negan grunted and you gasped heavily when he slammed you against the truck. The hit almost knocked the wind out of you when he reached for the chain and yanked it from your neck making the chain snap. Negan’s hazel eyes narrowed out at you as he pushed the ring back into his pocket before shaking his head. “I warned you…if you kept up with this shit I was fucking done.”

“Right…you’re going to just leave me here because I dare speak Lucille’s name,” you mocked him and could see him snarl when you spoke. “You’re so full of shit.”

“I’m not,” Negan insisted with a firm nod. “In fact, you know what? When I get back there is a new crew that showed up. There is this really cute girl, maybe I’ll invite her to replace you. Maybe this time I’ll have one that actually fucking listens to me.”

Rearing back, you smacked Negan firmly across the face and heard him grunt with the hit and he stumbled back. He slouched over and you saw that he had bitten his lip in the hit. Blood was dripping from his bottom lip as his irritated hazel eyes lifted to look out at you.

“You’ll never find another wife like me,” you growled at him and Negan laughed thickly at your comment. Negan spit out some of the blood that was in his mouth and you watched him shake his head slowly.

“Sweetheart, please. You only serve the purpose of keeping my bed warm at night and in the morning,” Negan snarled and you felt your heart pounding inside of your chest. Negan’s smug expression caused your chest to ache as you watched him moving around you and head for the back of the truck. “I’ll be a gentleman and leave you a can or two of food…”

Watching Negan step toward the back of the truck you could feel your anger raging inside of you. Reaching down you picked up Lucille and wrapped your fingers tightly around the bat. When Negan came out of the truck wielding two cans of food, you reared back and swung Lucille at him, watching him duck down and hit the floor with a thud as the wood from the bat clanked against the truck. Bring the bat up again, you brought her down and Negan spread his legs open in time for you to miss and hit the cement ground between his legs.

“You crazy ass bitch,” Negan grunted from where he was seated on the ground. His breathing was erratic as you dropped Lucille down on the ground beside him. Your eyes were glaring out at him as you shook your head. “You just tried to fucking kill me.”

“If I was trying to kill you, I would have,” you insisted with a frown and you watched Negan reach for Lucille. You moved around him and toward the back of the truck when he slowly stood to his feet and set Lucille on the back of the truck. “You are just a massive fucking dick that deserves a taste of your own medicine.”

“You know what? Originally I was just fucking with you, but maybe I will just fucking leave you here,” Negan warned with a growl and you looked to see that the blood from his lip was sliding down his jaw and toward his neck. “I think this relationship is officially fucked.”

“Good. Why don’t you go and fuck some of your other wives. Maybe one of them will be able to step up and give you what I did in a relationship. Be careful though. Every single one of them wants you dead. So while you are sleeping, they will definitely attempt to stab you in the back,” you mocked Negan and could hear his heavy breaths filling the air. “You say you are a good husband? Well I’m the one that actually had one husband. One man I loved. You were sitting there fucking every single one of your wives and I’m considering the bad one?”

“You’ve got some balls on you. You know that?” Negan laughed from where he was as you moved up onto the back of the truck, hearing him getting to his feet. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“I deserve more than two cans for putting up with your…” you heard Negan hop up onto the truck and a moment later felt Negan shoving you up against the wall of the truck. You hit the truck hard and heard Negan’s breathing in your face. “I hate you.”

“Bullshit, I just hurt your fucking feelings,” Negan grabbed a tight hold of your jaw and forced you to look at him. Negan’s breathing was heavy and he shook his head slowly. “I haven’t fucked any of my wives since I’ve been with you, you jealous shithead.”

“Bullshit. You aren’t satisfied with just me. You’ve made that clear,” you growled feeling his fingertips squeezing around the base of your neck. Letting out a wince, you craned your head back and felt Negan’s warm breath in your face. “I see the way you look at Sherry.”

“I’ve been out to piss off Dwight. I have neglected every single one of my wives since I’ve been with you and you were the one that was so fucking determined to make sure that no one knew you married the bad guy,” Negan rumbled, his eyes narrowing while he spoke to you. “I realize we blame me with the whole not wanting you in the public eye, but fuck…you were the one that came up with the fucking idea. So my wives see me hanging out with this girl and neglecting them for this fucking girl that’s not even my wife. Only Simon fucking knows and it disgusts the fuck outta me.”

“Poor you,” you snorted and felt Negan’s fingers squeezing harder around the base of your neck. “As you said, our marriage is fake anyways.”

“What you hear with Simon was bullshit. I’m not about to unload my heart on the fucking guy that not only wants to fucking steal my wife, but I’m not about to break down my walls and be honest with a guy that is clearly holding my emotions against me right now,” Negan retorted with a shake of his head. “I’m fucking sick of you automatically assuming things. I’m fucking sick of you. I’m the better fucking spouse. I actually wear my wedding ring on my hand. I only take it off when we’re in public to help keep you safe, but you know that everyone sees that I’m head over fucking heels for you so it’s stupid to keep pretending.”

“Right, because someone who is head over heels for you would trade you for his dead wife any day,” you grunted and saw Negan’s eyebrows tensing up. His jaw locked up and he slammed you forward again making you hit the wall of the truck with a thud. “Maybe she is lucky that she died before she got to see you this way…”

You growled and felt his grip he had on your neck starting to cut off your airway. Negan’s nostrils were flaring and you reached for his wrist trying to get him to loosen his grip. A wince fell from your lips as Negan pressed in closer to you and you could feel his powerful body leaning in against you. “Let go.”

“No,” Negan shook his head and you felt his grip getting tighter. “You forget where your place. You belong to me. You listen to me. When you disobey me, you get punished. You’re right, I’m not gonna leave you here, but I am going to make sure that you start listening to me again. You need to learn that what I say…goes…and you don’t get to talk to me like that. You don’t get to talk about Lucille like that. You disrespectful little shit.”

“Negan,” you huffed, feeling him slamming you down forcefully onto one of the wooden containers in the back of the truck. This was very much like the last time Negan had done this when he put on a show for his Saviors, but this time, the power at the back of your neck was strong. You heard the sound of Negan pulling apart his belt with one of his hands and when he went to move his hand to get the material out of the loops, you tried to get up, but he slammed you back down again.

“I’m sick of you not listening to me. I’m sick of you breaking the rules. I’m fucking sick of you acting like you are the one in charge. I’m sick of you saying hurtful fucking things and thinking you are justified for all of this,” Negan hissed from behind you and you felt him pulling the back of your pants down. “I’m the one in charge. You don’t question me. You don’t tell me what to do and you are to never…ever talk about Lucille again. Do you understand me?”

“I swear if you do this Negan…” you began, but before you could say anything more you felt the whack of his belt over your bottom making you jolt forward and cry out. Negan let out an amused sound while you tried wiggling out from underneath his grasp. “You fucking asshole…stop it or…”

Whack. Another one of his hits landed over your bare bottom making you whimper out when the material connected with your skin. Cussing out, you clutched at the container hearing his breathing getting rapid.  

“Stop this now or I swear…” you growled out and Negan lowered down in closer to you.

“What are you going to do? Huh? Keep threatening me, see how that goes for you,” Negan snapped as another snap of his belt smacked in over your bottom making you cry out. Your eyes slammed shut and Negan let out a loud grunt. Reaching out for whatever you could grab, you felt his belt connect with your bottom again and you cried out. “It’s about fucking time you start treating me with some goddamn respect…”

Grabbing a hold of something, you brought it back as fast as you could and it smacked up against the side of Negan’s face. Negan hit the ground hard and you let out a nervous breath when you looked to what you had hit him with. It was a kettle that they must have grabbed and you quickly dropped it to the ground. Scrambling to your feet, you pulled up your pants and looked back to see that Negan was still conscious, but clearly out of it. You reached for the belt that he had dropped and got down on your knees. Reaching for his wrists, you tied his wrists together and heard him let out a tight groan. Out of the corner of your eye you could see one of the belts that they had used to keep the larger crates in place in the back of the truck. Carefully moving Negan, you wrapped it around Negan’s chest to keep him pressed up against the side of the truck hearing him grunt out with the tightness it caused around his body. It was clear that he was starting to come to as a line of blood slid down the side of his face.

“Damn girl,” Negan growled, wincing as he turned his head to the side. He moved his jaw showing that it ached from where you had connected with his face. “You just knocked me on my ass…I’m fucking impressed. Your giant sized lady nuts get bigger every day.”

“I’m really sorry that I hit you, I just…I grabbed the first thing I could and…” you stammered and Negan shook his head. A wince fell from his lips as he dropped his head back and let out a tight groan. “I didn’t mean to hit you like that.”

“Uh huh…that’s why you have me locked up here,” Negan muttered, looking down at the belt that was wrapped firmly around his chest and to see his belt that was tightly wrapped around his wrists. “You meant to hit me and you hit me fucking hard.”

“I just wanted you to stop,” you answered in a nervous breath watching Negan rest his head back against the truck. A wince escaped his lips and you lowered in closer to him, seeing his hazy hazel eyes staring out at you. “I swear I didn’t mean to hit you. It was just an immediate response and I tied you up because I didn’t want you to react…badly.”

“I’m not the one hitting the other in the face with a teapot,” Negan snorted with a half laugh and you were surprised how good he seemed to be taking this. “Though the belt around the wrists is a bit much because I can’t move my arms as it is.”

There was a silence between the two of you as Negan lowered his head and you reached out to softly tap the side of his face making sure that he didn’t pass out. Negan slumped forward and you desperately tried to wake him back up.

“Negan, goddamn it,” you rumbled, hearing his deep breath inhale heavily when he came back to. Negan’s head still bobbed and you tried to keep him conscious. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay…I was being an asshole,” Negan slurred and his words came out a bit broken. “I probably deserved that…”

“Who are you and what have you done with Negan?” you replied hearing him let out a tight laugh before gasping.

“This is fucking tight,” Negan looked down at his chest that had the moving belt wrapped tightly around him. Negan’s eyes lifted to yours as you brushed your fingertips throughout his wet hair and he frowned. “I shouldn’t have taken your ring away. That was me being a fucking douchebag. I’m sorry.”

“Negan…” you laughed, seeing his head drop down again and you lifted it up hearing him let out a whine. “Maybe I need to hit you in the face more often, you are eager to apologize.”

Negan smirked before his head fell forward again and you reached out to tap at the side of his face again. Negan shook off the feeling of passing out before cracking a wicked a smile while looking up at you, “Does it make me an awful person for being incredibly turned on after all of this?”

“Awful person? No, but it does make you a bit of a masochist,” you chuckled and Negan smirked, looking down again and you reached out to touch the side of his face. “Can I let you out without you losing it on me?”

“I’d much rather you’d fuck me like this,” Negan grumbled and an uncontrollable laugh fell from your lips. Negan lifted his head and his eyebrow perked up. “I’m not kidding. I’ve never been manhandled like this in my life and my dick is incredibly hard. Which is amazing because I’m fighting the urge to pass the fuck out.”

You gave him an odd expression and Negan nodded toward his lap, “Feel, I’m not kidding.”

“I’m not going to feel,” you began watching Negan roll his eyes and you moved forward on the truck to press your hand over the center of his pants to find proof behind his statement. “Jesus Negan.”

“Oh please. You’re a little turned on by manhandling me too. I’ve been around you enough to know when you are turned on. Your pupils are dilated, your breathing is heavy and you’ve got that look. That look of you want to pounce the fuck outta me,” Negan smirked and you felt your heart hammering in your chest. “You like being in control…I say take what’s yours…”

“Only you would be super horny after getting your ass knocked out,” you rolled your eyes and moved forward to kiss over Negan’s lips roughly. The taste of his blood pressed in over your lips and you let out a shocked sound. “You’re crazy.”

“But I’m yours,” he growled against your lips, nipping softly at your bottom lip before tugging on it. You pulled away and saw Negan’s hazel eyes staring out at you as you stood up from the ground and reached for your shirt to pull it up over your head. Negan gulped down and watched you shimmy out of your pants as you reached for his pants to start undoing them. Negan licked his lips as he nodded toward his hands. “Could you at least undo the hands? They are positioned weird here.”

Doing as he asked, you undid the belt from his wrists and then quickly undid the zipper in his pants. Tugging the material down, you heard him grunt out when you got his pants down to the bottom of his hips and watched his cock spring free from behind the prison of his clothes.

“I knew you were a freak too,” Negan grunted as you moved in over his lap and wrapped your palm around his cock, stroking it slowly as you pressed in closer to him. Negan let out a deep moan when you quickly lowered your body over him and let out a cry when you felt his thick length filling you. “Fuck…”

Reaching for Negan’s throat, you grabbed a tight hold of it and heard Negan let out an uncomfortable sound as you started to rock your hips over his again and again. Negan’s winces filled the air with each downward thrust you made over his thick cock. Negan’s moans filled the air as your grip on his throat tightened. Your body was shaking, likely from the pure adrenaline all that had caused you. Negan’s hazel eyes were locked on yours as you continued to do with him as you pleased. Every rocking motion you made over him caused Negan to groan out. Negan’s thick grunts filled the air and his moans got louder. His head fell back, his jaw tightened and you could feel your body start to tingle.

“I’m not gonna last. I’m gonna cum,” Negan whimpered out and you started rocking yourself harder over Negan, hearing the sound of the truck squeaking with the movements you made over him. Negan’s heavy breaths filled the air as you squeezed harder at his throat like he had done you in the past. “Fuck…fucking…hell…I’m fucking cumming.”

Negan threw his head back as you felt the spurt of his seed shooting out inside of you. Line after line of his hot cum filled you while you still powerfully moved your hips over his until you felt your body twitching and shaking with a release of your own. Falling forward into his chest, your rest your head against the nape of his neck and heard him gasping for air. Taking notice that your hand was still wrapped firmly around his neck, you pulled your hand away and heard him let out an appreciative sound.

“My arms and hands are going severely numb,” Negan informed you with a wince and you reached up to quickly undo the belt that was around his chest. Negan hissed out as his body fell to the side and he hit the floor in a thud. You quickly pulled your clothes back on and watched as Negan lazily pulled his pants back together. The sound of a scratching was heard at the back of the truck and you saw a walker trying to get up. “I think it heard us fucking…can you get that? I can’t exactly move at the moment.”

Nodding, you moved over toward Lucille and grabbed a tight hold of her, swinging her down over the head of the struggling walker. The first slam of the bat over its head caused the walker to fall flat against the floor of the truck while half of its body slouched over the side. You continued hitting it a few more times before carefully kicking it off of the truck. Looking back at Negan, you could see him pulling together the belt that he had somehow looped back through his pants.

“Here,” you tried to help him up and carefully you were able to raise him up. You managed to get him off the truck and he reached for Lucille from you when he saw a few walkers off in the distance. “We should get going.”

“You might want to drive,” Negan suggested with a heavy sigh as you led him to the side of the truck to get in the passenger’s side. After getting Negan safely in the truck, you moved around the side to hop up in the driver’s seat. Negan was resting his head against the window and you could see that he looked like he was going to fall back unconscious.

“Baby, you’ve got to stay awake,” you smacked his leg a few times and watched him shift uneasily in the seat. Negan pulled out the ring he had taken from you and reached for your hand to put it back into your palm. He urged you to wrap your fingers around it and you gulped down.

“You don’t have to start wearing it immediately again since I was being an asshole. I understand if you don’t want to, but I’m fucking sorry. I got upset and I was acting irrational. I’m so very sorry,” Negan frowned and he looked out at you with his saddened eyes. “I love you, I don’t want to give up this life with you, but I understand if you don’t want to be married to me after this. It’s what I deserve.”

Looking to the ring, you gulped down and nodded. You pulled the ring from the necklace and slid it up your finger instead and Negan’s Adam’s apple bounced in his throat. You reached out to wrap your hand around the back of his neck to urge him forward into a kiss.

“Don’t take total credit for this Negan. I was in the wrong too,” you whispered, feeling him resting his forehead against yours. “I’m sorry for what I said, but I love you. I will always love you.”

“Our marriage isn’t fake, I just…” Negan inhaled sharply as you kissed him again trying to silence him from worrying. “Simon worries me. I don’t think something is right with him. I don’t…trust him. So I lied. I still love Lucille, I’ll always love Lucille, but I love you too. More than you’ll ever know.”

Holding Negan tightly for a moment, you gulped down heavily and thought about him saying that he didn’t trust Simon. Negan was completely justified and you knew the truth about Simon, but you weren’t about to break the news to him about what Simon had done. Not yet at least.

* * *

 

“So what the hell happened boss?” Dwight spoke up from the corner of Doctor Carson’s office as the doctor looked him over. Negan winced when he felt the doctor touch over his cheek where you had hit him. You had taken Negan to the doctor when you got back to The Sanctuary to make sure that there was nothing wrong with him. Negan had insisted he was fine, but you wouldn’t take no for an answer. Simon, Dwight and Arat had seen you taking him into the office and followed when they had seen him injured. “Did someone attack you?”

“Kind of,” Negan grunted as Carson put something on the wound on Negan’s cheek and then started to attend to Negan’s lip that he had bitten from your smack. “There were some walkers that caught me off guard when I was in the woods.”

“Yeah, but I saw you after that and other than being a bit of a dick, you were fine,” Simon reminded Negan and Negan looked to where you were sitting at the opposite corner of the room. “So what the fuck happened?”

“As you said, I was being a dick and was reacting badly to things. I got in a fight with my wife,” Negan blurt out and you felt your heart hammer inside of your chest as you sat forward in the chair that you were in. You quickly sat up straight as Negan wiped at his bottom lip. “I got what I deserved. I needed to be laid out to get my act together.”

“Which one? None of your wives went with you on the trip,” Arat spoke up and you looked to Negan who shook his head. “He really did hit his head pretty good didn’t he?”

“That wife,” Negan pointed over at you and you gulped down heavily. Dwight’s eyes narrowed out at you with a sense of shock and Arat did the same. Simon looked surprised to see that Negan was speaking up and Carson honestly didn’t seem surprised at all. “She’s my wife. Has been for quite some time…and I’m fucking sick of hiding it. Someone tried hurting my wife a while back and I’ve been trying to keep her safe. If one of the two of you are the ones to blame and take this as advantage to try and fuck with her, I will not stand for it.”

“Negan,” Simon moved forward to try and silence Negan from talking.

“No, I’m not hiding shit anymore. I’m fucking married to Y/N and people need to understand that I’m in love with this girl and I’m not going to fucking stand for it anymore,” Negan grunted, looking to you and motioned you to move in closer to him. “So if all of you would kindly fuck off, I’d like to be alone with my wife and the doc right now.”

“Sure thing sir,” Arat was quick to agree and when the three had left the room, you moved to Negan and felt his arm wrapping around your waist. He rest his head against the center of your chest when Carson cleared his throat.

“So is now the appropriate time for that test?” Carson spoke up and your eyes got wide. Negan lifted his head to look up at you and you cleared your throat in a very uncomfortable way. Your reaction had led Carson to realize you hadn’t told Negan.

“What test?” Negan replied, looking back at Carson. “What test are you talking about?”

“The one that…to test the dilation of your pupils again,” Carson quickly lied and you looked between the doctor and Negan. “I realize you want to spend some time talking to your wife, but I just need to make sure you are okay.”

When Negan nodded and looked down, Carson shot you a glare and you shrugged. You knew that it would have been appropriate to tell Negan now about the possible pregnancy, but with everything happening and the news that you were his wife just being released to two of his top Saviors, you didn’t think it would be the appropriate time.


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few of The Saviors react to the news about Negan and the reader being married. The reader gets prepared to learn whether she is pregnant or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like when Negan is a bit cranky, it needs to be warned ahead of time. So in this chapter and the next, Negan is sassy and does some dickish things.

Hearing the sound of a soft knocking on the door, you looked down to Negan sleeping comfortably in your lap. It had been a few days since the fight between you and Negan. Doctor Carson had suggested Negan take it easy for a few days which is exactly what he was doing. You hadn’t really left the room much other than to get food for the two of you, but when you had left, you had seen that you had gotten side eyed by Sherry. You could tell that Dwight had told her about you being Negan’s wife and she had likely spread the news around like a wild fire. Instead of acting differently, you just kept living life the way you did before. If you acted like things were weird, it would make things weird.

The sound of the door opening was heard and you looked to see that it was Simon stepping into the room. When he got in the room, he rolled his eyes when he saw you propped up against the headboard with a sleeping Negan in your lap. Simon closed the door behind him and headed over toward the seating area to sit on one of the couches.

“We need to talk,” Simon snorted from where he was sitting, but almost in a whisper. “What the hell was he thinking? What the hell were you thinking with fighting him like you did? I don’t know what you fucking said to him, but what happened the other day…not fucking smart.”

“Now is not the time,” you answered, brushing your hand throughout Negan’s dark hair. Negan seemed to get more comfortable over your lap as you caressed over his handsome features. Your fingers slid in over the small gash on the side of his face that had a small amount of bruising done to it and you felt your chest ache knowing that you had done it to him. Negan didn’t seem upset with you at all that you were at fault for it. In fact, he rarely talked about it because he knew you were upset about what happened. “You need to leave.”

“I’m not leaving until we talk,” Simon grunted from where he was seated on the couch and you looked down to Negan. Carefully moving him aside, you made sure that he was comfortably asleep before moving over toward the couches. Sitting across from Simon, you gulped heavily and looked back at Negan to make sure that he was still asleep. “I don’t even know where to fucking start.”

“Maybe…mind your own business? That’s a good place,” you suggested with a rumble and Simon’s brow line creased, his face seeming to be angered and offended by your response. “Just a thought.”

“How can I mind my own business when Negan has made your business the whole business of The Sanctuary?” Simon pointed out with an angered sound. He threw his arms back on the couch and spread his legs out, getting comfortable. “First, you guys have a massive fight. A big fight where you pretty much beat the shit out of each other. Negan gets rough with you, you nearly kill him and then all of a sudden the two of you are putting on a show for the whole husband and wife thing. Do you like being abused? I mean, you forgive him so fucking easily when he doesn’t fucking deserve it.”

“You need to be quiet,” you warned, feeling your heart skip a beat when you looked over your shoulder at Negan knowing that he would get upset with what Simon was saying.

“No, this needs to be said. You swoon over him more so now and it’s clear as fucking day you two fought really bad. By the way you were walking that day, I could tell that he used his belt on you again. It upset you enough for you to knock him on his ass, yet you two are cuddling up in here like you are the couple of the fucking year,” Simon pointed out, looking you over. You didn’t answer him; you knew that you and Negan fought really badly. It was obvious by the way that Negan had to rest for a few days just to heal. “One, you know better than to fight with him. When he gets angry, he is capable of anything.”

“I’m not afraid of Negan. He can just be an asshole sometimes,” you answered truthfully and gulped down thinking about the fight the two of you had.

“I don’t know what keeps you tied down to him. He does not fucking deserve you,” Simon spoke freely. It was like he was getting sick of Negan and didn’t care if Negan heard at this moment. “At all.”

“Yeah, well I’ve heard what you have to say about that and I don’t give a shit,” you insisted with a firm nod. “Now is that all?”

“You are a smart ass, you know that?” Simon snorted and shifted in the seat, leaning forward toward the edge of the couch. “What Negan just did…was put you in further danger. I kept my mouth shut. Arat is dedicated to Negan too, she will too, but Dwight…with Dwight…you are fucked. That boy has a big mouth that will go tell his wife and then she will tell the whole fucking place.”

“I don’t care,” you answered with a shrug. Simon laughed like he didn’t believe you and you shrugged once more. “I don’t Simon. If everyone knows that I’m married to Negan, good. It makes life easier. I don’t have to pretend anymore.”

“Nah, you don’t have to pretend anymore. You just have to worry about the state of your life and where it is,” Simon nodded slowly as he spoke. “You are going to be fucked when it comes to being safe. You will be targeted. Anyone that wants to hurt Negan will go straight for you. You will never live a normal life again.”

“I haven’t been living a normal life for a very long time,” you reminded Simon and watched him roll his eyes. “Now if you would leave, I’d like to spend today taking care of my husband and letting him have some sleep.”

“I don’t know how he sleeps at all. I’d be terrified of someone hurting you if I was him,” Simon stood from the couch and stepped before you. His tall body towered over you and you looked up at him with a glare. “He keeps making bad decisions and what you did…you could have killed him. You are lucky you didn’t. What happened between the two of you…two people who love each other, don’t hurt each other like you did.”

“In the heat of the moment things can happen. That doesn’t mean you love anyone more or less,” you explained, standing up from the couch and looking over in Negan’s direction. He shifted on the bed and stretched out his long torso, but still seemed to be asleep. “When you get emotional, things happen. You more than anyone should understand that.”

“Me? I should understand that. Okay,” Simon dramatically snorted in response and his hands rested in over his hips as you stepped in closer to him. “What I see? Negan making mistake…after mistake because of you. He can’t be a leader and your husband at the same time. What you need, is a husband who isn’t stuck in the past and one who isn’t always looking to better his community. The man in charge can’t always be the man you need. Especially when that man is married to multiple women. He does not deserve you.”

“I know what I signed up for,” you gulped down, knowing that you got into a fight with Negan the other day about the other wives. “I love Negan, more than anything and I would do anything for him…”

“Starting with cracking his skull with a teapot when he pissed you off, huh?” Simon mocked you and you felt your cheeks getting hot with anger. “You two are poison for each other…and him telling others that you are his wife--that’s going to spread like a wild fire and it’s going to put you more in danger than you’ve ever been. I hope you know that.”

There was a silence between the two of you as Simon looked over at Negan and he let out a disgusted sound before heading toward the door.

“When our fearless leader wakes up, please let him know that eventually we need to talk about something that’s been going on at one of the communities,” Simon informed you with a grunt before opening the door. “Try not to kill him today, okay?”

“Simon,” you grumbled, but it was clear Simon wanted to have the last word as he slammed the door shut. An annoyed breath fell from your lips as you looked over your shoulder to see Negan slowly sliding up into a sitting position. You felt your heart skip a beat when he looked to you with a tired expression. “Negan…”

“He’s right you know,” Negan winced as he sat up straighter and you moved over toward the side of the bed. “I really don’t deserve you.”

“I don’t give a fuck what Simon says,” you moved onto the bed and reached out to caress over the side of his face where the bruising from you hitting him was. You frowned before tipping forward to press a soft kiss against his skin where he was injured. Negan wrapped his arms around you and held you close to him, but it was clear that he was upset with thinking about the things that Simon said. “He’s an asshole…”

“But he’s not wrong,” Negan frowned and you tilted your head to the side. “I need to start getting my shit back together. I need to be a better leader and a better husband. I’m not good at either one right now.”

“I think you need to stop worrying about that,” you pointed out with a frown and felt Negan’s hand reaching up to grab a hold of yours. “I love you.”

“I know you do, but…” Negan began, turning your hand and looked it over to see that you were still wearing the ring he gave you. “Maybe I shouldn’t have told them you were my wife.”

“It was bothering you that we didn’t say it. I’ll be fine,” you insisted, trying to make him feel better, but at the same time you knew that you agreed with Simon in some sense. With Negan telling others that you were married, it would put you in more danger. And now that you thought you were pregnant, it would be twice as bad. Reaching out, you traced over the healing wound on his arm where he had been shot not long ago. “I love you so much.’

“I love you too,” Negan sighed and you reached out to pull him into a tight embrace. “I just want to keep you safe. I need to keep you fucking safe or I would never forgive myself.”

“We’re both going to be fine,” you assured him and something in Negan’s breathing changed as he moved away from you on the bed. You watched him get up from the bed and move over toward his pants that were draped over the couch. When Negan pulled the belt out from his pants you felt your body tense up. “Negan…?”

“Take this,” Negan urged and you tilted your head to the side when he handed you the belt. Negan got on his knees on the edge of the bed before motioning you to stand up. “I should have never touched you with that belt. So please…”

“What?” you muttered with a hesitant laugh, seeing him lower down to his hands so that his back was stretched out for you. “You’re joking, right?”

“Simon is right. I should have never touched you with that,” Negan insisted, his voice being muffled by the sheets as he breathed heavily. “You can hit me as many times with that as you want. I should have never…”

“Negan, I nearly killed you with kettle. I’m not going to hit you with this fucking thing,” you tossed the belt onto the floor and heard the upset sound Negan made when he dropped down on the bed. Urging him onto his back, you crawled in over him and caressed your hands up his chest. “That’s not my thing Negan. I think we’re equal right now and the last thing I want to be doing is using the belt on you. Not when we just agreed that we wanted to keep each other safe.”

“I just know I fucking deserve a shit ton worse,” Negan sighed as you slid your hands up to his to hook your fingers with his. Negan squeezed your fingers in his and gave a half smile. “I really do love you. I hope you know that.”

* * *

 

Standing outside Doctor Carson’s office a few days later, you looked up over your shoulder to see Negan standing at the second floor of The Sanctuary. He seemed to be talking to a few of his other wives and you let out a tight breath. You knew that you should have been telling Negan about the possibility of being pregnant, but you weren’t even that really prepared for this yet. You were thinking of going and getting the test done, making sure you were actually pregnant before telling him. Stepping forward, you went to grab the door until you felt someone grabbing a tight hold of your wrist.

“We need to talk,” a familiar voice stammered and you felt someone pulling you away from Carson’s office and you looked out to see Dwight’s eyes staring out at you. “You know, I actually thought you were smarter than this. Getting married to Negan…”

“Suddenly you are someone who can determine how smart I am? We barely talk,” you reminded him and he let out a frustrated sound. “Mind your own fucking business.”

“Do you think that you are special? Do you think that by being his wife that something good is going to come from it?” Dwight snarled and you felt the warmth in your cheeks blushing over with your irritation growing. “Take a look up at there at those women. That’s you. That’s what you are going to be. Do you think in the long run that any of them have any kind of means to Negan? Do you think he cares about them? He married them in a mockery. He knows that they don’t…”

“I don’t need another lecture about how awful Negan is,” you cut off Dwight and saw the way that his head tilted to the side. “You tried to fuck up my relationship in the beginning with Negan and it didn’t work. It didn’t work then and it’s not going to work now.”

“Let me ask you this one thing, do you really think that you are something that is super important to him? Do you really think that you are going to be the one to change him and make him something better? The one person that will stop him from starting a war? The one that he will change for and you two will live happily ever after?” Dwight questioned and you could feel an ache in the center of your chest. You truly wished that you were that person for Negan, but you knew better. “You really do think he will change for you? Don’t you?”

There was a silence that fell between the both of you. Negan was different with you, but after the other day when he killed that man when you begged him not to, you knew that you wouldn’t be the one to change him and his ways. That was damn near impossible.

“That’s never going to happen sweetheart and I’m not saying this because I want you upset. I’m not saying this because I’m mad or angry with you. I just feel sorry for you because I can tell you actually love him,” Dwight began with a frown and he folded his arms out in front of his chest. “All Negan does is hurt people. He sucks the life out of them, uses them for what he needs and then he’s done. I’m sorry that he’s tried to convince you otherwise, but…I wish you would have listened to me in the beginning.”

“He’s changed,” you stammered, feeling Dwight grabbing a tight hold of your shoulders to turn you so that you could look up at Negan and Sherry kissing. You felt your heart sinking when Negan kissed her back and Negan’s fingertips brushed in over the side of her face.

“That’s the woman I love and you know what? She’s changed. He has made her change,” Dwight whispered in your ear as he forced you to continue to watch the two of them kiss and you felt your heart hammering in your chest. You thought back to Negan telling you that he hadn’t slept with any of his wives since being with you, but now you were starting to question that. “Negan does not change us for the better. Negan changes us for the worse. I’m not just including you, but he builds you up to make you believe that you are something special. That you are onto greatness or in your case, you’ve found the love of your life. But then he starts to change you. You think you are doing what is right and before you know it, you are killing people and hurting those that you thought that you could stand for.”

A heavy breath fell from your lips when you saw Negan pull away from the kiss with a smile and he continued to talk with Sherry before tipping in to kiss her again. Turning away, you felt your body filled with jealousy and Dwight shook his head slowly.

“If you knew what was good for you, you’d get out of here before he got his hooks into you. Before you become me…before you become Sherry or any of the other wives,” Dwight looked to you with a frown and he shook his head. “I’m not saying this to try and get any personal gain from this. I’m saying this as someone who has fallen under Negan’s reign and as someone who has watched the person I love go from the woman of my dreams to someone…I barely even recognize.”

Dwight gave you on final glance fore walking off in the other direction and you looked up to see Sherry cupping Negan’s face in her hands as they talked. Negan’s smile while she talked to him made your chest ache and you gulped down when you watched them walk into Negan’s office. Thinking things over, you knew that you should have trusted him. You knew that you should have gone to Carson to talk about the possibility of being pregnant, but you couldn’t let this go.

Moving up the stairs to the second floor, you went to Negan’s office to find the door closed. You wanted to knock. You wanted to give him privacy, but you knew that inside your mind you had to know what was going on. Pushing the door open, you saw Negan sitting on the edge of his desk while Sherry stood before him talking to him about something. Negan seemed irritated, but when you came storming into his office, his expression became slightly amused.

“Please Y/N, walk right on in,” Negan grunted with an irritated breath before looking to Sherry again. “We’ll talk about this later, but I’m not forgetting about it. I’ll just stall it for a while.”

“I think that’s a smart decision,” Sherry pointed out, stepping back and away from Negan. Her eyes surveyed you over as she moved toward the door. She made a disgusted expression while staring out at you and you looked back to see her as she stopped in the doorway. “See you later?”

“Sure thing,” Negan nodded and Sherry closed the door behind her, leaving the two of you alone in Negan’s office. There was a moment of silence as Negan’s head tilted to the side and he gave you a disappointed look. “Are you forgetting where your place is here again?”

“I just…” you began, seeing Negan folding his arms in front of his chest when he stared out at you. “I was…”

“I’m waiting for the answer where you thought that just storming in here was the right fucking idea,” Negan muttered with a grunt and you felt your heart hammering inside of your chest. “I’m waiting on your answer to decide what’s the best idea with moving forward here sweetheart.”

“I just…I saw you kissing Sherry and I just,” you stuttered and Negan’s eyebrows perked up, an amused smirk pressing in over his features.

“You just thought that if you came storming in here that you would find me having sex with Sherry and you would prove me wrong. That me telling you I don’t fuck my other wives was a total lie,” Negan inserted what you clearly were thinking and you gulped down heavily. Negan stood from where he was and moved out closer to you. His dark eyes stared down at you when he stepped before you. “Take a seat.”

“I’m good standing,” you gulped down feeling Negan nudge you toward the couch. “I’m fine.”

“I said…take a seat,” Negan demanded and you slowly sat down on the edge of the couch. Looking up at Negan. You felt him grabbing a hold of your jaw, forcing you to look more directly at him. “Now why would I fucking lie to you?”

You said nothing and after a moment, Negan let out a small rumble of a laugh. He lowered down to his knees before you and you felt your heart hammering in your chest. Negan was angry with you and it was obvious.

“I told you, I’m not fucking my wives. You don’t need your jealous rage causing you to storm in here getting in my business,” Negan hissed and you watch his nose wrinkle with a sense of anger in his tone. “Do you understand me?”

You nodded, but did not respond and you felt Negan’s grasp on your jaw getting tighter, “Speak when you are spoken to.”

“I’m not comfortable with you kissing them like that,” you answered and Negan laughed. He made an amused expression and let go of your jaw. “I still see the way you just kissed Sherry as cheating. If you are willing to kiss her like that, you are likely doing other things.”

“Kissing someone and sticking my dick in someone is a bit different. As long as I’m not sticking it, I’m not cheating,” Negan insisted with a rumble, standing up from the floor. “I think you are being a bit over the top here. I have five different women I could be fucking. Every day and you’d have nothing that you could say or do about it, but I’m not. I’m fucking none of them. I told you the day I married you that nothing was changing. Nothing. Which meant having my wives was still going to be there. Did I not?”

“I just…” you went to rebuttal, but Negan hushed you and wanted you to answer what he asked instead. “Yes, you said that nothing would change, but…”

“But nothing. You married me knowing that it was likely I would still fuck my wives,” Negan reminded you and you gulped down heavily realizing that he was right with what he was telling you. “I’m not fucking them. Therefore, I already lied about how things would be, but…if I kiss one of my wives; I’m not going to have you coming in here lecturing me about it. Do you understand?”

“How am I supposed to trust that what you are saying is true?” you blurt out and Negan’s right eyebrow arched up, clearly amused that you were questioning him.

“Because I’m telling you it is and I’ve never fucking lied to you,” Negan grunted with an angered sound. He tossed his hands up and moved back over toward the desk and sat down on the edge of it. “If I wanted to sleep with my wives though, you really have no say…”

You felt a rage building inside of you as you looked up at Negan. A fire was burning inside of your veins and the initial thing that you wanted to say to him, you tried to keep from blurting out as you bit down on your cheeks.

“We don’t tell me what I can and cannot do. Remember?” Negan slurred, reaching for the beer that he had on the side of the desk and you felt like he was heavily down talking to you at the moment. “So if you see something you don’t like, unless I bring it up…we don’t talk about it. Okay?”

“So if you see me kissing another man,” you began and Negan laughed. “It’s fine? It’s not cheating?”

“Listen. Another one of my wives was caught fooling around with her ex and that was what I was talking to Sherry about. She was trying to butter me up so that way I would leave them alone for a while. Problem is, I’m really fucking mad about it and you came in at the wrong time,” Negan warned you with a grunt and he swallowed down a large amount of the beer he had. “I’m trying to honestly figure out what to do with a real problem, not deal with your hypothetical bullshit. Cheating on me is cheating on me…and you know I don’t handle that well.”

“What does it matter if one of your other wives was spending their time with someone else? You said that I was it for you. Shouldn’t I be enough?” you muttered and Negan’s head tilted to the side. His jaw clenched and he bit down on his bottom lip. “Does it really matter if the others aren’t one hundred percent loyal? What we have…”

“No one…cheats on me,” Negan interrupted mid-sentence with a sense of venom in his tone. “I do not get cheated on. No one…fucking cheats on me.”

“Negan,” you froze, standing up from the couch and moving across the office to move before him. “Are you still sleeping with these women?”

“Ask me that again and see what happens,” Negan bit down on his bottom lip and you felt your chest tighten while staring out at him. “Go ahead…ask again.”

You stayed silent and looked down toward the ground. Negan reached out to nudge his finger in underneath your jaw to get you to look back up at him.

“I’ve told you I’m not. I’m not fucking them, I’m not lying to you,” Negan stated firmly and you nodded your head. “But our relationship is not going to stop me from realizing these women are still my wives and when someone sleeps with someone else or fools around with someone else on me…they are cheating on me and that is not something I take kindly to.”

Nodding, you didn’t know how to respond as Negan tipped down to go and press a kiss over your lips, but you denied him the chance knowing that he was just kissing Sherry not long ago. Negan rolled his eyes and grabbed a hold of your jaw, forcing you to kiss him. You let out an unpleasant sound when he pulled away.

“I can’t believe you are giving me shit with this. Yes, I slept with them before I got married to you, but I think honestly the last time I slept with any of them was before I even asked you to marry me. Do you remember when I brought you lasagna that first time after apologizing?” Negan reminded you of when the two of you made up after he was an asshole about everything and originally had dumped you. You thought back to the moment he was talking about as Negan reached for the pack of cigarettes that was next to him. “I think it was before that when I last had sex with one of them. My dick has not been in any part of them…which trust me, that took some getting used to, but I told you the other day that you were enough for me.”

“You’re serious?” you watched him light up the cigarette and he let out an exaggerated sound. His eyes got big and a laugh fell from his lips. “I just…”

“You’re always going to be nervous. I get it, but do you really think that I would be as specific as to the date I last slept with one of them if I was lying? I wouldn’t lie to you. I shouldn’t have to lie to you. I told you, I don’t have people question me. If I slept with them, I would straight up fucking tell you because…we know what our relationship is here,” Negan informed you after inhaling a large amount of smoke before exhaling it in the opposite direction of you. “I’m not happy right now, so ultimately I’m coming off very fucking rude and I’m probably sounding like a cockhead and for that, I’m sorry. I really fucking am, but these women are my wives. They get things that no one else at The Sanctuary does when they agreed to be married to me. I promised to protect them, give them things that no one else here gets. If they don’t want to be married to me, that’s fine. I just no longer think they deserve what they are getting if they don’t want to be my wife anymore.”

You bit down on your bottom lip and nodded, moving over toward the couch to take a seat again and you could see that he was playing out in his head what he wanted to say.

“Frankie gives great massages. I take advantage of that. Tonya is one hell of a cook and I enjoy her food from time to time. It’s nice having a good cook when everything tastes like shit. Sherry…you have to understand why it’s fun having her around. I realize you have thought and probably still continue to think that she’s my favorite, but…she’s not,” Negan insisted with a rumble as he spoke with the cigarette between his lips. “I don’t know how many fucking times I can tell you that I love you. I don’t love them, but they are still my wives and things need to be dealt with appropriately.”

“Okay…” you nodded, not quite sure what more could be said as Negan let out a grunt. “I understand.”

“Are you still fucking pissed at me?” Negan inquired and you shrugged your shoulders, thinking things over. You still found yourself extremely jealous that Negan willingly still kissed some of his wives, but you realized that you really had no say in it. You knew that if you kissed another man, Negan would raise all hell, but there was no fighting it. Negan could tell that you were still upset and he shrugged his shoulders. “I have to deal with this Y/N. Is there something that you need? Simon isn’t here right now and I’m busy…do you think you can keep yourself busy today? Otherwise, if you are worried about things, I think you should go in your room and just hang out for the day.”

“I can take care of myself,” you insisted realizing that Negan was pretty much kicking you out of his office. “Sorry for being a bother.”

“Fuck me…” Negan grumbled when you moved for the door and you felt Negan grabbing a tight hold of your wrist to pull you back to him. His lips hammered in over yours, kissing you again and again as his arms hooked around you tightly. The taste of his cigarette still lingered over his lips and while you wanted to shove him away, you felt your body sinking into his. He knew how to kiss you and he knew exactly what you liked. Negan growled against your lips and squeezed you closer to him. “I love you so fucking much. You have to know that…”

“I love you too,” you breathed out, reaching up to press his dark hair out of his eyes and sighed out heavily. “I’m sorry.”

“For being jealous?” Negan snorted, wrinkling his nose as you nodded. “Eh, it’s okay. It just tells me that you still love me. When you stop being jealous, that’s when I have to be worried.”

“You’re a dick,” you poked him firmly in the ribs and heard his thick laugh fill the air. “At least you’re smiling right now.”

“Well, you tend to fucking do that for me,” Negan replied with a wink, moving in to press another quick kiss against your lips. “As well as other things…like make my cock…”

“Okay, you were being cute and had to go there,” you pushed your hand into the center of Negan’s face to hear his laugh follow.

“Honestly though babe, you really have to do me a favor and not worry about the wives. They are a part of my life that have nothing to do with you. I don’t want you getting upset or worried about things that don’t have anything to do with you. You know?” Negan nudged your jaw softly before shaking his head. “So please promise me you will stay away from them. Promise me that you won’t keep doing this?”

“I…promise,” you whispered seeing the smirk that pressed in over his features. “I’m just going to leave now. I hope you figure out whatever it is that needs to be done.”

“Hey,” Negan called out one final time and you saw him wink at you. “I love you.”

* * *

 

“I’m still very uncomfortable doing this without Negan,” Doctor Carson informed you with an uneven breath when he finished up with some of the tests that he wanted to run on you. “What’s going to happen when the results come back? I am telling you, I think you are pregnant. Very pregnant. Pregnant for quite some time and I’ve been trying to hint this to you for quite some time. I’m surprised that he can’t tell right now…”

“I’ll tell him that I got someone else to get me the test and never mention you. I’m not going to throw you under the bus doc. I promise, I just…right now did not seem like the time to being telling Negan these things.”

“No, the right time would have been weeks ago,” the doctor retorted and handed you over your own personal test and you looked down at it. You let out an uncomfortable sound and saw him looking over a few things. “You should have the answer in just a few minutes, but I think the both of us know what the answer is here.”

“Just do your part doc and let me in when you are a hundred percent sure,” you sighed and pushed your test into your back pocket. Looking at the time, you know it had been a few hours since you last saw Negan and you were terrified that this was actually real. That you were really pregnant. With how certain the doctor was that you were, you realized it was more likely that you were pregnant over not being pregnant. “I’ll be in my room.”

“Alright,” the doctor frowned and nodded back toward the tests that he was taking. “I’ll being seeing you in a few.”

“Thank you,” you gave him a weak smile before leaving his office and closing the door behind you. Resting back against the door, you took in a long, shallow breath and closed your eyes. You knew that today had to be the day that you told Negan about being pregnant. Part of you just wished that you were just gaining weight, that this wasn’t at all what was happening, but you knew better.

“So you are his secret wife, huh?” a voice made you let out a tight breath as you opened your eyes to see Sherry standing before you. You let out an annoyed breath and saw the way she was staring out at you. “All this time I thought he was trying to butter you up to become one of us, but it was quite the opposite, huh? What makes you so special?”

“I really don’t know,” you answered with a shrug of your shoulders before looking around. You wished that there was an escape. Maybe you should just head on back into the doctor’s office. That way you wouldn’t have to put up with this shit. “Today really isn’t the day for this discussion. Okay?”

Going to move around Sherry, you felt her palms slamming you back into the door and you let out a hesitant laugh.

“I’m not going to touch you,” you insisted, holding your hands up as she glared out at you. “I respect Negan too much to touch you. So I’m going to respectfully step back and tell you that whatever it is that is bothering you, I assure you I’ve done nothing to do it.”

“How is it everyone here can see Negan is a monster, but you can’t?” Sherry blurted out and you gulped down heavily. “I mean, one day...we are all going to get the break we deserve and someone is finally going to kill Negan and save us all. What’s going to happen to you then? The one person that really loves Negan and believes there is more to him?”

“I’m sorry, I have to leave,” you tried to move around Sherry and felt her stepping before you. You knew that you were stronger. Hell, there was no doubt about that, but you were trying to avoid that all together. You went to walk toward the loading dock, but by the clinking that was behind you, you knew that Sherry was following. “Listen…I don’t know what I did to piss you off.”

“I just think it’s about time you realize that you aren’t special. Negan cares about one thing and that’s power,” she reminded you and you rolled your eyes, feeling your chest tightening as you listened to her. “You are just an interest of his right now. I’m the one he lets get away with things. I’m the one he doesn’t threaten. I’m the one that can convince him to do what I want. I…am his favorite.”

“Okay,” you nodded, not knowing what to say. You were trying to avoid the fight. You really were. “You’re his favorite.”

You stepped into the loading dock area and could see Simon off by one of the trucks in the distance. He caught sight of you and gave you an odd expression when he saw that you were with Sherry. You shrugged and felt Sherry grabbing a hold of your shoulder to force you to turn around again.

“I honestly can’t wait for the person who is going to step up and kill Negan to do it,” Sherry rambled and you nodded slowly. “And I hope they take you with him.”

“Fuck off girl,” you laughed and realized that she was just desperately trying to get you to attack her or get yourself in trouble. “I’m not falling for this bullshit.”

Turning on your heel, you felt the hit of something between your shoulder blades and let out a wince. Falling forward, you looked over your shoulder to see Sherry staring out at you with her big, dark eyes. Turning on your heel, you brought you fist up and hit Sherry hard enough to make a point, but not enough to actually hurt her.

“Are you fucking nuts?” you muttered out and felt Sherry lunge her body at you. You tried to keep your hands up to keep her away and a moment later felt someone stepping between the two of you. The strength of a muscular arm wrapped around your waist and picked you up and you looked up enough to see that Simon had his hand firmly pressed out to keep Sherry away from you.

“Not today Satan,” Simon grunted and he pointed at the door for her to retreat. After she did, Simon looked to you as he kept his arm hooked around you tightly. “Are you always getting yourself in trouble?”

“You saw me try to get her to leave,” you tried to explain and Simon laughed, motioning you to come with him. “I swear, I attract the crazies here. They are always trying to come at me and start something.”

“Just stay with me, I’ll keep you safe,” Simon muttered with a wink. While you knew you were having troubles with Simon days earlier, you just hoped that you would be able to get through a day with him without having someone else come and harass you.

 


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan and the reader get into a heated situation after her fight with Sherry and it causes a strain on their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has Negan being an aggressive dick. Once again, they kind of take their anger out on each other and there is a some pretty intense smut in this chapter. Along with some BDSM. Pre-warning for people that are NOT into that kind of thing. I also edited this really fast, so I'm sure there is a lot of errors in it.

“Good God, I’m whipped,” Simon grunted, wiping his hands off on his pants before moving up into the loading dock with you. He pat you on the shoulder, a bright smile pressing in over his features as he pulled you close for a small squeeze of a hug. It was nice to have gotten some time away from the worries that you were surrounded by hours earlier. “You doing okay?”

“I’ll be fine,” you lied, knowing that there was a lot on your mind from things that had previously been bothering you before Sherry cornered you. Simon gave you another firm hug and it actually comforted you. Simon felt more like the old Simon right now as opposed to the one that had been recently giving you trouble about Negan.  

“Thank you for your help,” Simon sighed, sitting down on the edge of one of the crates. He started eating his lunch after you had helped him to separate what they had brought back to The Sanctuary. For the first time in a long time, it actually felt comfortable with him. The two of you had just spent some time talking about random odds and ends and it felt nice to actually be able to shoot the shit with him. “So what was up with the psycho? What’d you do to get her panties in a twist?”

“I don’t know,” you sighed heavily and got comfortable against one of the crates as you sat down on the floor. You thought about Sherry attacking you and you weren’t really sure what you had done to get on her shit list other than marry Negan. The sound of something snapping filled the air when you adjusted your position and Simon tilted his head to the side with a laugh. “Shit…”

“The hell was that?” Simon snorted with a mouthful of food and you reached into your back pocket realizing that it was the pregnancy test that the doctor had given you. You had actually forgotten about it when you reached for it. “Did you just break your ass…or?”

“Oh, shut up,” you chuckled with a roll of your eyes and could see that the pregnancy test was broken. Keeping it out of the line of Simon’s sight, you heard the sound of the door to the loading dock slamming open. It hit the wall with a violent slam and it caused both of you to jump at the boom that filled the area around you. You quickly tossed the test behind one of the crates and looked up to see Negan storming into the room.

“Where the hell is she?” Negan snapped and Simon stood from the container with a confused expression after setting his sandwich aside. Negan’s face was red and it was clear he was super angry. Negan shoved Simon aside when he saw you sitting on the floor and Negan tossed Lucille on top of one of the crates. “Are you hiding from me?”

Negan tried to step forward, but Simon pushed Negan back far enough to try and get him to listen when Simon realized how hostile Negan was acting. “Is she fucking hiding from me?”

“Why would she be hiding from you?” Simon snorted and you watched Negan shove Simon firmly aside before Negan stepped forward to firmly wrap his hand around your jaw to pull you up from where you were positioned on the floor.

“Negan!” you whimpered as he pulled you back against the pavement. You weren’t even able to get to your feet while he dragged you toward the wall.

“Negan,” Simon muttered as you felt Negan shoving you firmly up against the wall of The Sanctuary. You cried out when he yanked back your hair and his fingers gripped harder onto your jaw. “Negan, stop!”

“Shut up Simon,” Negan demanded, his eyes angry and full of rage. The sound of his deep breaths filled the air while his fingertips dug into your skin. “What did you do?”

Negan’s fingertips squeezed at the base of your throat making you whimper out as he turned your head to the side with his forceful grasp. Negan’s angry eyes were staring out at you while you tried to reach for his hand to get him to release your throat. You could feel your airway getting cut off and you tried desperately to get him to lessen his grasp.  

“What the fuck were you doing?” Negan screamed and you could see Simon standing at the corner of the loading dock, his dark eyes watching closely as you tried to urge Negan’s grasp away from your throat. Negan’s fingers finally released you after a moment as you dropped to your knees and gasped desperately for the air that you had lost in that minute. Negan grabbed your jaw to get you to look up at him from where you were on your knees and you gulped heavily. “You broke Sherry’s nose? After the fucking talk we had…you went to my wives and started a fight with Sherry? You broke her fucking nose?”

“Boss man…I can tell you for a fact that’s not what happened. Sherry was perfectly fine when she walked out of here,” Simon tried to explain, moving forward to grab a hold of Negan’s wrist to try and get Negan to release his grip from your jaw. “I don’t know what the bitch told you, but I can promise you no noses were broken in the…”

“Fuck off Simon…” Negan shoved Simon back hard enough for Simon to fall to the ground hard and let out a grunt before Negan turned his attention back to you. “I told you not to get in trouble. We had a conversation about my wives and you still went out looking for trouble? What the fuck were you thinking?”

“Negan,” you breathed, “I didn’t break her nose. I hit her after she hit me, but it wasn’t hard enough to break her nose. It was a warning hit that…”

“You’re telling me all the girls were lying to me then?” Negan snapped and you looked to see Simon slowly getting up from where he was at. “Every single one of them is backing what Sherry said and I’m supposed to believe that Sherry’s broken nose isn’t your fault?”

“Every single one of them is lying. I don’t know what the fuck they told you, but…” you explained. “I didn’t break her nose Negan. I punched her, I did. I will not lie to you, but…”

“I thought I made it clear about my wives. I know that you are jealous, but what you fucking did…what you fucking did was beyond forgivable,” Negan snapped, the veins in his neck protruding as he screamed at you.

“Fuck Negan, calm the fuck down. I don’t know what kind of shit these girls are trying to pull, but I saw the end of their fight. Y/N kept trying to get away from Sherry who hit her in the back and then Y/N gave her a warning hit. I’ve seen Y/N hit Dwight and Michael, there is no way that she broke Sherry’s nose. I’ve seen her punches and…” Simon defended you, but it didn’t seem to make Negan any less mad. “These girls are fucking playing you.”

“You would say anything for her to keep her from getting in trouble,” Negan snapped and you felt Negan’s grip on your jaw returning.

“You’re going to believe her over me?” your voice cracked as Negan looked to you with an angered expression. The grip on your jaw got tighter and you could tell that Negan actually one hundred percent believed Sherry over you. You tried to grasp at his wrist to get him to release you, but his grip wasn’t budging. “I didn’t…”

“I warned you about the wives,” Negan pointed out with a firm nod of his head. “You’re going to regret breaking your promise…”

Negan released you before pointing at Simon and it was clear that Simon was super upset with what was happening.

“Put her in one of the cells,” Negan demanded as the lines in his forehead scrunched up and you let out a nervous sound. “A few hours in one of those will let her know the mistake she made won’t be happening again.”

“Negan…” you began and Negan’s snapped his fingers. “Negan, please…”

“Keep talking. I’ll make it a few days if you keep it up,” Negan warned as he went to walk away to the door and he looked over his shoulder to see Simon staring out at him. “Get her moving Simon. Put her in the fucking cell.”

“No,” Simon answered with an annoyed breath. “You’re being a dick. You aren’t listening to either one of us. I don’t know what that bitch is trying to pull here, but you are a fucking moron for listening to Sherry. I’m not putting Y/N in a cell for getting framed for something that she didn’t fucking do.”

“Put her in the cell or I’ll make sure that the both of you are stuck in separate cells for days,” Negan insisted as Simon still stood his ground. Negan laughed uneasily before nodding and shoving Simon aside. Negan grabbed a hold of your wrist, tugging you forward to throw you over his shoulder with a snort. “Fine, if you’d rather a different punishment for her, remember this was your fucking choice…”

“Negan…” Simon called out as Negan carried you out of the loading dock area and up the stairs of The Sanctuary. Negan carried you to his office and Simon followed not far behind. “I’ll take her, just stop!”

“No, it’s fucking fine. You wanted something different for her. Just let her know that it’s your fault that this is what she gets,” Negan slammed the door of his office behind him and locked the door. You shifted your weight trying to get Negan to let you go, but he dropped you down on top of his desk. The grunts filled the air as you tried to fight with him to get him to release you when you felt your pants getting pulled down your bottom. “Maybe when your ass is so red and you can barely sit on it, then maybe you will start listening to me.”

“Don’t you fucking dare,” you tried to get out of his grasp feeling the first smack of his palm over your fleshy bottom making you cry out at the stinging sensation. Smack after smack caused you to wince as Negan kept you firmly down on top of his desk. Your flesh was still raw from the last time he used his belt on your bottom when the two of you fought. “Negan, please…she’s lying!”

Negan ignored your words and you could hear the sound of the slamming on the door from Simon and the harder that Simon tried to get into the room, it seemed like the harder than Negan spanked you.

“Negan, I swear…” you could feel tears pressing in over the corners of your eyes as another loud smack filled the air causing you to throw your head back and cling tightly to the desk. “I wouldn’t lie to you. Please…”

“You fucking lie to me all the time,” Negan screamed at you, his palm smacking roughly over your tender bottom causing your back to arch in response. “Fuck, you disobey me more than anyone at this fucking place. It makes me regret marrying you in the first fucking place when you act out when we have a fucking agreement hours earlier!”

“Negan, please….I love you,” you tried to beg as he huffed heavily and you heard his grunt that followed.

“Well, I don’t fucking love you right now,” Negan hissed and as soon as the words fell from Negan’s lips you felt the last smack hit your bottom and his words hit you harder than his actual spanks did.

Looking back at Negan, you could see his eyes wide, his lips parted as he breathed heavily. Scrambling to your feet, you pulled your pants back up your body and dropped to the floor as Negan stood before you. His eyes shifted uneasily and you looked up at him from where you were on the floor. Your eyes were tearing over as Negan gulped down and bit back a hiss.

“I didn’t mean that,” Negan informed you, his brow raising as he saw you crying on the floor before him. It wasn’t so much the spanking that had you upset, it was more so that he had just told you hours earlier that he loved you and not his other wives, but when the idea of Sherry getting hurt by you came up, Negan was jumping at the idea of standing by Sherry. That he would tell you he didn’t love you based on some lie that some girl told him. “Stop crying. I didn’t mean that. I was caught up in the moment.”

“No, I get it. Sherry was right, she is your favorite and I hurt your favorite,” you spat out, seeing his hazel eyes saddening over as you reached up to wipe at your tear stained face. “I didn’t do what you said. I was attacked by Sherry today and you believed her. You believed her over me and I didn’t fucking lie to you. I told you everything that happened you fucking asshole. Yet you don’t love me because I’m telling you the fucking truth?”

“Don’t be over dramatic,” Negan’s eyes rolled as you pulled yourself into the corner of his room, pulling your legs up against your chest. Your bottom was severely raw and it hurt just to sit on it, but you didn’t even want to look at Negan right now. “I was angry and I wasn’t thinking about what I was saying.”

“Fuck off Negan,” you stammered and saw Negan’s eyes looking you over before breathing out heavily and moving for the door. Negan stopped at the door and looked back at you with a frown before pulling open the door. When Negan pulled the door open, Simon stumbled in and looked over at you on the ground.

“Get her back to her room,” Negan suggested to Simon with a gulp before giving you a final glance and moving out of the room. Simon got to the floor to help you up and you pulled away from him with a shove. Simon frowned as you weakly got up and walked out of Negan’s office, feeling the pinging sensation over your skin. Simon followed you not far behind as you walked to your room to see the door was open. Doctor Carson was sitting on the arm of your couch when you entered the room.

“I was hoping I’d see you soon,” he muttered with a bright smile, but when Simon followed you into the room, the doctor’s smile quickly faded. “Simon, there is something that I need to give her for…”

“My periods,” you lied and watched Simon’s nose wrinkle. It was clear that Simon didn’t want to leave you alone after everything that just happened, but you shot him a look and he understood that you need some space. Simon reached out to squeeze your shoulder before he stepped out of the room to give you privacy.

“Is this a bad time?” Doctor Carson whispered when he could see that your eyes were still damp and your face was red. You shook your head and Doctor Carson pulled the tests from his pocket, seeing the way that you gulped down heavily when he handed them to you. “I told you that you were pregnant…we should have gotten started on this a long time ago.”

“Fantastic…” you breathed out seeing the multiple positive tests in your hand and you dropped them to the ground before moving to the couch. Negan just told you that he didn’t love you and your bottom hurt more than it ever had before as you sat down and winced. The doctor gave you a look and you shook your head. “Thank you for telling me.”

“When you are ready to get prepared for this baby, come to me. We will get you started on your vitamins and…” the doctor saw tears pressing in over your eyes and he shifted uncomfortably. “Is everything okay?”

“Mhmmm,” you waved your hand in the air dismissively. “I’ll be fine. Thank you.”

“I’ll see you soon,” the doctor informed you with a small nod before gulping down and leaving. When the doctor left, Simon walked into the room and saw you crying and he tilted his head to the side.

“Negan told me he didn’t love me,” you told Simon with a whimper as Simon sat down on the couch beside you, reaching out to wrap his arm around your shoulders in a supportive grasp. “He told me he didn’t love me and that he regrets marrying me.”

“Listen, I don’t know what crawled up his ass, but you know that’s not true. He’s just…angry,” Simon tried to explain and the fact that Simon was actually defending Negan blew you away. “He gets touchy about his girls and clearly…that bitch is up to something. When you have someone trying to fuck with you, sometimes it doesn’t matter how much someone loves you. If they get fired up, they get fired up and don’t listen to reason. We both know that is the kind of person that…well, it’s the kind of person that both Negan and I are.”

There was a silence that pressed in over the two of you as Simon tilted his head to the side and tried to give you a serious look, “What’s going on kid?”

“I’m pregnant Simon. I’m pregnant with Negan’s baby and all of…this just happened,” you informed Simon, seeing his dark eyes widen and his body slumped when he realized the awful timing in which everything had been playing out. “I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

* * *

 

Walking to Negan’s office, you gulped down heavily and saw Negan standing over the desk looking over some papers that were spread out. After talking with Simon about being pregnant, Simon convinced you that no matter what was going on, that you needed to tell Negan that you were pregnant. You tried to wait for Negan to come to bed, but the longer that you waited, the more you realized he wasn’t coming.

It was the first night that Negan hadn’t come to your room so halfway through the night you went looking for him. You wished this didn’t happen this way, this isn’t what you wanted. Finding out you were pregnant at a time that Negan wasn’t happy with you to begin with was hard enough. Knocking softly at the door frame, you saw Negan look over his shoulder at you, his eyebrow arching up as you gulped down.

“Not coming to bed tonight?” you muttered with a sigh and Negan looked you over closely.

“I didn’t think you’d want to see me right now,” Negan stammered with a heavy breath, straightening up the papers that were placed over the desk. You moved into the office and closed the door behind you as Negan reached for the pack of cigarettes on the corner of the desk. By the smell of the room, you could tell that it wasn’t the first cigarette that he had recently. You heard the sound of Negan lighting up the cigarette and you moved toward the corner of the room. “You seemed pretty fucking angry with me the last time we saw each other.”

“Within reason Negan,” you reminded him, watching him inhale the smoke before taking a seat on the edge of the desk. After a minute, he exhaled the smoke and let out a tight groan. “There is something I have to tell you…”

“What? How much you fucking hate me?” Negan mocked you causing you to frown upon his words and you shrugged. You wanted to tell him that you were pregnant. You wanted to tell him what was going on, but it was clear that at the moment, he wouldn’t care. Now wasn’t the time. “What is it?”

“I just…wanted to say I’m sorry. I don’t know what Sherry told you and it’s very likely it isn’t what really happened, but I should have never touched her. I knew better than to hit her back,” you lied through your teeth and could see Negan looking you over closely. Negan took another puff of the cigarette and he still seemed severely angry with you. It was in the way that he was looking at you and you knew that he wasn’t about to apologize to you. You needed to have him not as mad at you. You needed to tell him that you were pregnant and having him this angry at you would not be the time to do this. “I’m sorry…”

“You’re sorry, huh?” Negan hissed and breathed out a large amount of smoke before putting out the cigarette and tossing the butt in the glass ashtray on his desk. Negan pat his hands off on his gray pants before standing up and moving out to you. “If you are sorry…prove it.”

Gulping down, you felt Negan’s hand grasping onto your shoulder tightly, forcing you down to your knees. Looking up at Negan, you watched him reaching to palm over himself in his pants. Negan bit into his bottom lip before opening up his pants and pushing them just below his waist. You felt a lump growing in the base of your throat as Negan reached down to caress over his length to try and get it hard. His hazel eyes watched you closely as he reached out to urge you in closer to his cock.

An uncomfortable breath escaped your lips as you wrapped your mouth around the head of his cock, watching his heavy hazel eyes keeping a close look on you. He was testing you along with punishing you and you knew it. Negan’s hand curled around the back of your neck while he urged you to take more of him into your mouth. The sensation of his body growing harder within your mouth and throat was felt making you uncomfortable while Negan’s hold he had on your hair controlled your movements over him. Gags escaped your throat when he hit the back of your throat again and again with the tip of his cock.

Reaching up to grasp at his hips roughly, you felt him forcing you down his length as much as possible. Squeezing at his hips, you made a choking sound and Negan kept you where you were. Finally, Negan pulled you from his cock allowing you to gasp in the air that you had been deprived of. Negan allowed you to take a few big gasps of air before leading you back to his saliva covered erection. Both of Negan’s hands grabbed a hold of your head and you could feel him fucking your mouth. You tried to give him what he wanted, opening your throat as much as you could. This was Negan still punishing you; this was Negan still mad at you. You knew that this was just him angry and you had to put up with it. Gagging, time after time, you heard Negan’s breathing getting heavier and heavier.

Closing your eyes tightly, you heard Negan hissing out while he forced you down his length as much as possible. Negan’s moan filled the air and you felt the tears pressing in over the corners of your eyes when you tried as hard as you could not to choke. Negan’s hips arched up, bucking toward your mouth and you heard his groans filling the air.

“Fuck yes,” his head dropped back as the first strand of his cum hit the back of your throat. Your eyes squeezed shut when he forced you to stay in place while the thick ropes of his cum filled your throat over and over again. When Negan was done, he released your head and allowed you to fall back, gasping for air over and over again. Negan’s cum dripped from your lips as you heard him pulling back together his pants. Looking up you could see Negan’s eyes watching you closely as you wiped the back of your hand over your mouth. “Go back to bed.”

Negan smirked before moving back to the desk and you could feel a fire of rage filling your body. Moving forward, you shoved into Negan’s body hearing him hiss out when you hit him between his shoulder blades. When Negan turned to face you, you hit him in the chest over and over again and he fumbled with your hands trying to get them stop.

“Fucking stop,” Negan ordered as one of your hands got away from his grasp and hit him firmly in the center of his face making him stumble back against the desk. Negan’s head tipped back and you could feel your heart pounding in your chest when Negan very slowly lowered his head. Blood was dripping from his bottom lip from where you had split it previously and you could feel a rush of panic filling your body when Negan reached up to touch over his bottom lip to look at the blood covering his fingertips. You had clearly reopened the wound and by the look on Negan’s face, he was angrier than hell. “I highly suggest you get out of here…now!”

“Yes sir…” you muttered hearing the sound of Negan breathing heavily behind you. You moved for the door. Pulling it open, you gasped when you felt Negan slamming the door closed again before you. Negan’s hand grasped around the back of your neck leading you back toward his desk. He forced you to lower yourself over the top of it. This afternoon this was the position that Negan had you in when he was spanking you. “Negan, please…”

“Take me to the bedroom and tie me down,” Negan ordered after a moment, releasing you and allowing you to rise up when he bit down on his bottom lip. Negan’s eyebrows clenched while he nodded slowly. “I need to be punished. You need to punish me.”

“What?” you hesitantly laughed watching Negan nod. Gulping heavily, you shifted your weight. “You’re kidding, right?”

“No,” Negan reached for your hand and urged you to follow him. He led you toward his bedroom shutting and locking the door behind him before he began to take off his jacket. Tossing it to the ground, he reached for his shirt and pulled that over his head as well. Negan began to kick out of his boots and you found yourself at a loss. “I’m a fucking asshole. I was going to do something awful. Worse than I’ve already done today and I need to be fucking punished for it. You are the last person…the last fucking person I should have acted like this towards today and I’m so fucking sorry. I was already angry at the idea of one of my wives cheating on me that when I thought you disobeyed me and went to attack them…I just, I need to be punished.”

“Negan, I’m not in the mood for this,” you began and Negan shook his head, pulling the belt from his pants out of the loops and handing it to you. You looked at the belt as he undid his pants and let them hang open at his hips. “I don’t want to hurt you…”

“Please…” Negan begged and got on top of the bed, raising his wrists up once he was on his back. You eyed him over and Negan nodded toward the dresser at the corner of the room. “I’ve got some handcuffs in the bottom left drawer. Lock me up and punish me.”

“I’m not you Negan,” you dropped the belt and saw Negan’s eyes were desperate as he nodded toward the drawers. “Why would I hurt you?”

“Because it’s what I fucking deserve,” Negan stammered as you moved toward the dresser to pull out the handcuffs that Negan had told you about. Your gaze shifted uneasily when you noticed a small set of keys at the corner of the drawer. Picking them up, you moved across the bedroom and did as Negan asked. You put the cuffs on him and could hear him breathing heavily when you tried to adjust them into a somewhat comfortable position. You were angry at him, but not enough for this. “Make them tighter.”

“Negan,” you frowned, watching him glare up at you and you nodded. You tightened the cuffs and heard him wince before letting out a few heavy breaths. “Light the candle there…”

“Negan, this is ridiculous,” you insisted watching him bite into his bottom lip and give you a glare. After a moment, you did as you were told, reaching into Negan’s pants pocket to grab his lighter to light the candle he had beside his bed.

“I have some of that stuff that we found at that sex shop in the bigger drawers. The ones that we got, but never used,” Negan pointed out and you gave him a sideways glance. “Get them.”

“Are you trying to make me fuck you or are you trying to have me punish you? I’m still very confused what you are trying to have me do here,” you pointed out and Negan licked over his bottom lip, collecting the blood that still lingered from the hit you landed on him. You moved to the drawer and grabbed the leather paddle that he had found. There were multiple things in there that made you let out a tense breath. “Negan, this doesn’t make any sense to me.”

“I hurt you today. I said something I didn’t mean. I took my anger out on you when you didn’t deserve it. I am constantly in charge, I’m constantly threatening you with my force and you don’t deserve it. For once, take the power and give me a taste of my own medicine,” Negan suggested with a tight growl as he arched his back up on the bed, laying his body out better. “I was going to fuck you in a way that wasn’t right if I wouldn’t have suggested this, so please…put me in my place. It will be the one way to get this whole thing outta my mind.”

“How were you gonna fuck me?” you annunciated your words in a very firm tone and Negan’s eyes narrowed out at you. You reached for the items that Negan asked you to grab before moving to the bed to set them down. Negan huffed when you moved beside the bed. “How?”

“I wanted to fuck you in the ass,” Negan growled, his brows arching up when he slid in tongue in over his bloody bottom lip again.

“You’re really big on that idea, huh? That’s something you’ve wanted to do for quite some time,” you found yourself irritated with his response knowing that he had threatened that on you once before. Sitting on the edge of the bed beside his body, you saw him watching you closely. You reached for the candle and held onto it. “Why are you obsessed with that?”

“I…” Negan hissed out when you raised the candle up over his chest, tipping it to let the hot wax pour over the center of his chest making him hiss out heavily. His chest arched up and he tugged at his wrists. Negan’s big eyes looked down at his chest where the wax was starting to harden and shrugged his shoulders. “I want to be your first everything.”

“You already are,” you reminded him and heard Negan’s breathing getting heavier. His chest was rising and falling over and over again as you poured some of the hot wax over his lower abdomen making him wince out loudly. “Why do you want that too?”

“The idea really fucking makes me hot,” Negan insisted, his breaths coming out shaken when he gritted down on his teeth. You set the candle aside and could feel a fire burning deep within your veins. You thought about the way that Negan reacted earlier, the way he spanked you relentlessly and how he had treated you not long ago. For once you actually could give Negan a taste of his own medicine and while you originally didn’t want to do this—maybe it was for the best that you actually let him know how it felt. “I want to be the person that is your first fucking everything. I want to cum in that tight little ass…”

“That’s not gonna happen,” you whispered, leaning in closer as if you were going to kiss him and when you pulled away, he let out a tight huff. You got up from the bed and reached for his belt and saw his dark eyes narrowing. “So tell me why Sherry is your favorite. Can’t you fuck her in the ass?”

“Sherry isn’t my favorite,” Negan watched you wrapping the belt around your hand as he had done in the past. Negan let out a nervous sound before he gulped down heavily. “You know you are my favorite.”

“Yet you believed her over me,” you whispered and Negan’s eyes looked sad. “I have not lied to you. I have no reason to. I would tell you if I bashed that bitch in the face and I didn’t. I gave her a warning hit after she hit me between the shoulders. I swear to you…”

“I believe you,” Negan frowned, tugging at his wrists uncomfortably. “I was just so angry today that when I thought you did that, I didn’t think clearly. I didn’t trust you and I was wrong. That was a huge mistake…”

“You told me that you didn’t love me, that you regretted marrying me,” you reminded him and he let out a tense sound.

“You know I don’t mean that,” Negan rumbled behind gritted teeth. “You are the best thing that ever fucking happened to me. I’m just a fucking asshole. I told you that from the beginning.”

“Doesn’t stop it from hurting Negan,” you pointed out with a frown. His chest rose and fell as you motioned him to roll over onto his stomach. “Get onto your knees for me.”

“Yes ma’am,” Negan carefully adjusted his body before getting onto his knees. His hands grasped onto the headboard while the cuffs dug into his skin. You reached for his pants and tugged them down his hips hearing the wince that filled the air. “I say things I know will hurt people. I go for the jugular when I’m mad. I’m sorry…”

“No you’re not,” you muttered with a half laugh when Negan lowered his head. You folded the belt up and urged him to lean his head down further. “You aren’t sorry about anything that you say. You say it because you at some point mean it.”

“I don’t regret marrying you. I fucking love the hell outta you. I just have…fucking issues,” Negan explained with a growl, turning his head to look back at you, but you urged him to put his head back where it was. Negan let out a frustrated sound and you thought about the times that he had you like this. Bent over and vulnerable with his belt. “I’m not used to people who don’t fucking listen to me.”

“You’re going to get used to it,” you grunted with a disgusted breath.

“Fuck,” Negan growled out when you finally got up the courage to bring the belt down over the fleshy part of his bottom and he hissed out sharply. Negan’s body arched forward, but relaxed again when he prepared for another one. “I would never let anyone do this to me. I feel bad for what I did…”

“Do you?” you rolled your eyes seeing Negan jolt forward when you brought the belt over his bottom again. The motion caused his hardening cock to bounce and bob while you looked Negan over. “Sometimes I regret marrying you too because you’re fucking mean.”

“I know I am. I’m a terrible asshole,” Negan agreed before you brought the belt over his skin again, this time causing the smack to fill the room and you could feel your heart pounding inside of your chest. You were actually somewhat enjoying the idea of Negan writhing and flinching before you. “I don’t deserve you, I never fucking did. Sometimes I think I’m mean because then I can push you away and you don’t have to be fucking stuck with me.”

“It’s a little late for that Negan,” you reminded him, the sound of a whack filled the air and Negan’s groan followed after you had brought the belt over his skin. “I’m already married to you and that’s kind of a poor excuse.”

“Harder,” Negan demanded as you looked him over, seeing the red marks that already covered his small, firm bottom. It was nowhere near as bad as what he had done to you earlier and you bit down on your bottom lip. Rearing back, you did as he said and brought the belt down harder. A wince fell from his lips. He arched his hips forward and let out a small groan. “I’m mad at myself…”

“For being a dick?” you almost immediately responded and Negan hissed when you brought the belt over his lower back making him whimper out. Negan fell forward a bit before getting to his knees again.

“For not being able to fucking get you pregnant,” Negan answered and you lowered the belt at your side, hearing the shaking in his tone and you rolled your eyes. He decided to be a dick today, of all days because of that. Biting back an angered sound, you brought the belt over Negan’s ass harder than all the other times hearing him yelp out with the movement. “Fuck…”

“You know, I’ve changed a lot of things for you. I never believed in killing people and I’ve killed two living people to save you,” you reminded him and he nodded slowly, biting back a pained noise when you brought the belt over his skin again. You stepped back to see that Negan’s cock was swelling and getting hard again. “I’ve done things I would have never done…”

“And that’s why I love you, along with other reasons obviously,” Negan breathed out, looking over his shoulder. His eyebrows were arched up and he frowned. “I know I can never be the man that you deserve.”

“That’s because you aren’t trying,” you tossed the belt aside and reached for the leather paddle that Negan had told you to use. Rearing back, you brought it over his bottom hearing him cry out heavily. The mark that it left on his skin made you gasp as you dropped it on the ground. You weren’t expecting it to work that well. “I’m not doing that again.”

“It’s okay,” Negan assured you with a groan, his cock bounced with every movement his body made and you could see that the tip of his cock was red and swelled with precum dripping from it. It was clear he was actually enjoying what you were doing and you found yourself surprised. “Fucking do it again. I want to be your bitch.”

“You want to be my bitch?” you repeated his words with a laugh and he nodded, his breathing sharp and shallow as he clutched tightly onto the headboard. You grabbed the paddle again before smacking it over his bottom again causing him to hiss out heavily. “You don’t mean that. You like being the one in charge. You like being the one that is the dominant.”

“What the fuck am I doing right now?” Negan blurted out with a hiss and you brought the paddle again over his bottom making him huff out heavily. “I’m pretty sure that I’m fucking being your bitch. Do you think that I’m not…”

Moving away from the bed, you reached for his scarf that he had deposited on the ground before grabbing one of the freshly done cloths that was folded on his dresser. Urging Negan onto his back with a shove, you could see his eyes staring out at you as you forced the cloth into his mouth to get him to shut up. Negan’s eyes glared out at you as you urged his head up and used the red scarf to tie it around his eyes. Negan grunted before you looked at the things that Negan had urged you to take out. Reaching for the flogger, you teased it over the center of his abdomen, sliding it down around the base of his cock making him arch his hips up toward you.

“You talk way too much for someone that is supposed to be my bitch,” you took over the role as you felt a fire filling your veins at the sight of Negan tied up and completely open to anything you were going to do to him. “Are you going to be an asshole after this?”

When Negan didn’t respond, you brought the flogger down over his abdomen, hearing him groan out with the cloth that was shoved in his mouth. Quickly, Negan shook his head and you smirked teasing the ends of the flogger over his testicles. Negan moaned out and you carefully smacked it over his lower thighs making him whimper out.

“You claim to love me the most. You want a baby with me, but when you are given the chance you continually fuck up.”

 You set the flogger on the bed and went for the candle again. Using the wax, you began to draw out letters over his lower abdomen and he groaned out with the sensation of the hot wax over his skin. You blew on the hot wax to get it to harden and Negan hissed heavily. “If you keep acting up Negan, this isn’t going to go anywhere. Do you understand?”

Negan nodded and you could see his jaw clenching when you reached for the belt and folded it in half before carefully bringing it down over his thigh making him hiss out against the material of the cloth that was shoved in his mouth. Reaching out, you traced your fingertips over the underside of his rock solid cock, watching it twitch with your touch.

“Your cock looks like it wants to explode,” you reached out to wrap your palm around his erection to pump over it slowly, teasing the precum into his skin while Negan tried to thrust his hips up toward your caress. Smacking firmly over his lower abdomen caused him to grunt and you shook your head. “You don’t cum until I tell you that it’s okay. Do you understand me?”

Negan nodded and you set the belt down on the side of the bed before ridding your clothes, crawling in over Negan. The warmth of your body over his caused Negan to arch up toward you and you pressed your hand firmly into the center of his chest.

“You open your mouth to say a word and I’ll hit you with the paddle, do you understand?” you muttered and Negan nodded before you reached for the cloth to pull it from his lips. Setting it aside on the bed, Negan licked his lips and you carefully moved in over him, using your hands to balance yourself over the bed. You didn’t know what had gotten into you, but your whole body was hot and the idea that you had Negan locked up having to do whatever you asked really turned you on even though you were super angry with him at the same time. “Eat my pussy Negan…”

Negan nodded, lifting his head up as you reached down with your left to urge the blindfolded man close to your warmth. Negan’s tongue flicked and teased over your pussy before burying his face further into your damp heat. Negan growled and moaned against your flesh while he nipped at your clitoris. Rocking your hips over his face, you pulled yourself away when you felt the tingling sensation in your lower stomach. You heard Negan breathing heavily, licking over his wet lips when you caressed your fingertips throughout his wet hair.

“Good boy…” you whimpered out when Negan lifted his head again to softly nibble at your wet folds, teasing the sensitive flesh before flicking his tongue wildly out against your body. Lowering your hips in closer, you allowed his mouth to work over you as rocked your hips back and forth again his motions. Negan nipped at the small bundle of nerves that caused a jolt to fill your body. You cried out feeling your body shaking and trembling over him after his mouth had helped you reach your orgasm. Negan moaned out as he continued to taste your fluids over his wet lips, causing your body to still tremble and shake against him. Pulling your hips away you saw Negan’s tongue sliding over his lips to clean the taste of you from him and he lifted his head. “Do you trust me?”

Negan nodded and you reached for the belt and wrapped it loosely around his neck making him let out a sharp breath as you tightened it partially around his throat. Negan’s head fell back as if he was trying to get the blindfold off, but you hushed him.

“Trust me,” you urged him, lowering your body down over his hips. You were already so wet that your body took his easily into yours. You dropped down over his length causing him to moan out and a slew of cuss words fell from his lips. The stretching of your body around his felt so amazing and while you knew that this shouldn’t have turned out this way, your body was honestly thanking you for it. Riding over his body as hard as you could, you squeezed the belt around his throat making him grunt out and he tipped his head back. The vein in the side of his neck was showing clearly while you rocked your hips quickly over his. Negan was making sounds you hadn’t quite heard from him before and you felt his cock twitching inside of you. “Oh, you are going to cum soon, aren’t you? I can just feel you pulsating inside of me…”

“Yes ma’am,” Negan cooed as he rocked his hips up into the movements you made over him. A tight growl fell from his lips as you tugged softly at the belt that was looped around his neck. “Fucking hell…”

Negan’s stomach started to twitch and clench as his deep moans started to fill the air. Quickly pulling off of Negan, you wrapped your fingers firmly around the shaft of his cock to stop him from cumming. A heavy cry fell from his lips and he bit down on his bottom lip when you stopped him from reaching the release his body so desperately wanted.

“Not yet baby…” you hushed him as Negan whimpered. You looked to see his cock twitching, yearning for a release and you shook your head. Teasing your fingertips over the velvety soft smooth tip of his cock, you could feel him arching up into you and smiled. Never before had you been able to control every part of sex with Negan. He had never been the one to beg and he was always the one typically deciding how things would go. The fact you were in charge made you all the more excited. “Who does your cock belong to?”

“You,” he answered with a crackling tone in his voice. “I belong to you. My cock is yours.”

“Do you want to cum?” you whispered and watched him nod desperately. Negan cried out when you lowered your hips back over him. Negan’s thick, pulsating cock stretched you as you tipped your head back and cried out. “You don’t get to cum until I do, do you understand?”

“Yes ma’am…” Negan nodded, licking his lips before you raked your nails down the front of his chest making him cry out heavily. “Do it again, please? Fuck…do it again.”

“Again?” you confirmed and he nodded as you scratched your nails down the sides of his torso toward the top of his hips and he cried out before moaning. “You like me marking you daddy?”

“Bite daddy…” Negan urged with a moan as you smirked and leaned forward to bite at his neck right above where you were squeezing the belt around his throat softly. Negan moaned out before you lowered your mouth to his chest. Teasing your tongue over his nipple, you bit into his chest and heard him hum out with a moan. “Am I bleeding from the scratches?”

“A little bit,” you answered seeing the bright smile that pressed in over his lips. He was proud of that. You traced your tongue over his wounds before meeting him in a half kiss and his tongue brushed up against yours. You could still taste yourself over his mouth mixed with the bitterness of his blood.

“Daddy has been so bad…” Negan growled against your lips and you tightened the belt around his throat hearing him groan out heavily. Negan started to hiss out with each downward thrust your hips made over him and he let out a desperate wail. “Get off, I’m gonna cum…”

Pulling your hips from Negan’s length, you watched him dropping his head back and crying out when he was denied the orgasm again when you grasped onto his shaft. You were edging him right up to the edge of him almost getting his release and then denying him that right. Negan’s face was a bright shade of red as you bit into your bottom lip. Your pussy was soaked and your heart was hammering in your chest. The fact that this was turning you on as much as it was absolutely shocked you.

“God, that fucking hurts…” Negan informed you and you could see that the tip of his cock was a dark shade of red. Negan was panting, his chest rising and falling heavily while you softly caressed over his thick cock. “Fuck daddy and cum on daddy’s cock. Please.”

“Only if you’re a good boy,” you purred rising your hips up to tease the head of his cock over your seeping entrance and Negan’s head fell back. His jaw locked up as you allowed him to fill you again. Bracing your right hand over Negan’s chest, your left still kept a firm hold over the belt around Negan’s throat as you rode Negan’s length to the best of your ability. A new sensation filled your body while you continued to rock over Negan’s body in a newfound way that felt absolutely amazing. Letting out a whimpering sound, you pulled your hips from Negan and felt your body shaking as Negan moaned out. “Jesus…”

“Did you just fucking squirt?” Negan proudly questioned, his voice coming out quiet as he felt the dampness of your release over his lower abdomen and his hips bounced up. “Fuck, you are just loving daddy’s cock tonight, aren’t you? You’re super turned on by the idea of punishing him, aren’t you? You dirty girl…”

“Don’t make me put the cloth back in your cocky ass mouth,” you weakly responded, making a deep laugh fell from Negan’s throat that was extremely proud. His jaw clenched and you felt your body still twitching from the orgasm that you experienced. Your body wasn’t sure how to respond while Negan waited patiently for you to gather yourself again. “Christ…”

“Feels good, doesn’t it?” Negan slurred as you tightened the belt hearing him gag upon the restriction on his throat. Negan gasped as you started to ride him harder than before. The smacking of your skin filled the air and the slamming of the headboard against the cement wall was heard. Negan squirmed beneath you. “Fuck…fuck…fuck…”

Negan’s words were cut short by the belt that was around his throat and you could hear him making sounds that you hadn’t quite heard before as Negan’s hips shot up from the bed into yours and you felt the explosion of the first strand of his cum filling you. You continued your movements over him as he continued to fill you with his seed before you fell over his sweaty chest and released the belt. Negan gasped in heavily trying to get the air back into his lungs while you caressed over his sweaty chest. The sound of Negan’s heart pounding inside of his chest pressed against your ear and you could feel that your body was still tingling from the after effects of everything.

“Fucking Christ, that was the craziest fucking orgasm I’ve ever had,” Negan informed you with a hiss before you reached up to pull the scarf from his eyes. When Negan’s hazel eyes met your tired expression, you could see him smile brightly and drop his head back. “I can’t fucking live without you. I hope you know that…”

“Yeah, I know…” you weakly breathed, crawling across his chest to reach for the keys to get him out of the handcuffs. When Negan’s hands dropped down, you set the supplies off to the side on the floor beside the bed before Negan reached out to wrap his arms around your waist to pull you back against him. “Negan!”

“I hurt, but feel so fucking good,” Negan hummed against the side of your neck and a proud laugh fell from his lips. “I can’t believe this made you squirt all over me. Daddy’s dirty little girl.”

“Negan,” you pushed into his chest with a laugh and you noticed him looking down at the dried up wax over his lower abdomen. Negan’s thumb reached down to slide it away from his skin to see that you wrote asshole on his lower abdomen and you shrugged. “It’ll heal.”

“I don’t give a fuck, I’m your fucking asshole,” Negan huffed, crawling in over you to pin you beneath his touch. “That was so much better than what I originally had planned.”

“Tell me that in the morning. You are going to be hurting so bad,” you pointed out with a tired breath and Negan’s lips fell upon yours. “You’re going to have marks everywhere.”

“Mhmmm,” Negan nodded with another soft moan as he looked down at his cock. “I’m still living off the fucking high of that. My balls are still fucking tingling.”

“If that keeps up, you should probably let Dr. Carson know,” you snorted and Negan nipped at your jawline. “There is no way that you are ready to go again after that…”

“You have no fucking idea how badly I want to try to make you squirt again,” Negan grunted softly against the side of your neck and you pressed your hands in over the center of his chest. “I want you to fucking coat me in that shit…”

“Negan…” you tried to press your hand into the center of his face and laughed when he nipped softly at your fingertips. “How can you go from being a super fucking asshole to this adorably cute sex machine?”

“It takes practice,” Negan sucked softly over your fingertips and you sighed out heavily. “Maybe the dirtier the sex, the more likely we will be able to get you pregnant.”

“About that,” you began as Negan smirked and got up to his knees. Negan’s hands were caressing over your inner thighs and you licked your lips uneasily. “I am pregnant Negan, I found out earlier.”

“You’re…you…” Negan half laughed and you rose up on your elbows, watching his dark eyes narrow out at you. “Seriously?”

“Apparently I may have been pregnant for quite some time now,” you informed him and his face turned a bright shade of red. Negan smiled and nodded, but a moment later you watched him fall back and hit the floor with a thud. “Negan! Jesus, Negan!”

* * *

 

“I uh…we were kind of uhm…” you stammered nervously as you saw Dr. Carson looking over Negan who Simon had managed to pull up onto the leather couch after you called for help from him. You were clinging to your robe as you looked over the naked Negan. You had put a hand towel over his groin, but it was very clearly obvious that the two of you had been fooling around very roughly. “I had a belt around his throat for…a while.”

“Jesus,” Simon blurted out, looking over at you as your face blushed over. His thick laughter filled the air when he looked to you with big eyes. “Negan let you do…all of this to him?”

“Uh huh,” you simply nodded and Dr. Carson cleared his throat uneasily. “He’s not going to die from that, right? I mean, I told him about…the news and…”

“He seems to be breathing fine, I’d just say that maybe it was the shock from the news,” Dr. Carson suggested and you saw Negan breathing heavily. “He’ll have some marks tomorrow, but I don’t think you hurt him too much with the belt…”

“I bet this is one of the most interesting visits that you’ve had recently, huh doc?” Simon snorted and the doctor raised his head to look up at Negan. “Was it the belt that I choked my husband with or was it the shocking news of being pregnant?”

“Simon,” you blurt out smacking Simon in the center of the chest. “You fucking dick.”

“I actually think the most interesting call may have to be the time I was called to your room when that young girl came to find me after you shoved that…” Doctor Caron began and Simon quickly stumbled forward to shove the doctor toward the door.

“Okay doc!” Simon reached for the doctor and urged him toward the door. “Negan isn’t dying, so we are fine here!”

Simon quickly shoved the doctor out of the room and closed the door behind him, rubbing his hands together when he turned to you again. His face was a bright shade of red when he cleared his throat uneasily, “Well…you told Negan about the baby. No one ever said you two weren’t creative in how you did things. At least this will be a story to tell the kids.”

“I want to strangle you sometimes,” you rolled your eyes and looked to Negan who was shifting on the couch and you nodded toward the bathroom. “I’m going to find him a bigger towel to cover him with.”

“Good idea. Not like it’s uncomfortable enough that Carson had to make sure he was alive with that little thing barely covering his junk,” Simon snorted and shook his head slowly. You pushed through him and toward the bathroom leaving Simon alone with Negan in the bedroom.

Negan shifted uneasily on the couch before opening his eyes and let out a shocked sound when he saw Simon standing over him watching him.

“Hey there asshole,” Simon chuckled at the red lines that were spelled out over Negan’s lower abdomen and Negan quickly slid up onto the couch. When the small hand towel moved, Negan reached for it quickly to cover himself. Negan’s hand firmly pressed in over the center of his groin and he sat up to shove his hand into the center of Simon’s face to get Simon to move back. “Careful big man, don’t want you passing the fuck out again.”

“Where is Y/N?” Negan stammered and looked to the doorway when you stepped out of the bathroom. Negan quickly got up from the couch when he saw you and moved across the room to wrap his arms around you tightly to pull you into a tight hug. A gasp fell from your lips when he lifted you up into his arms and pulled you close to him. A nervous sound fell from your lips when you thought about how he was just unconscious. “We’re having a baby?”

“We’re having a baby,” you nodded as you felt his lips kissing yours excitedly. Simon let out a disgusted breath when he looked over the two of you together and you let out a small laugh. “Negan you are very naked right now.”

“And I could care less,” he hummed against your lips, squeezing you tighter to him. “We’re having a baby. That’s all that matters to me.”

 


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Negan reacts to the reader being pregnant and goes out on a run with Simon for supplies for the baby.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To anyone that still reads this, I love ya guys <3 :)

“Wow…” Negan’s breath pressed in against your stomach as you felt his large palm sliding in over the planes of your abdomen. Reaching down, you caressed your fingertips throughout Negan’s dark hair, a smirk pressing in over your features as you watched him tease his fingertips over your skin. The sensation sent chills up your body and it made your heart skip inside of your chest. Since Simon had left, Negan had been lying in bed level with your stomach after finding out you were pregnant. “I can’t believe I’m actually going to be a dad. I never thought I’d be able to. I just…I kind of assumed that I never would be able to have children after everything and this…it’s my miracle baby. I mean our miracle baby.”

A sigh fell from your lips when you felt Negan tip forward to press a loving kiss over your stomach and you could feel your heart skip a beat. The way Negan was reacting was perfect, but the idea of being pregnant still scared you.

“You are everything I’ve ever wanted,” Negan whispered, his short beard teasing over your skin as he talked to your stomach. Another small kiss was pressed against your skin and Negan nestle his nose against you abdomen. “Daddy is gonna spoil the shit outta you. He’s gonna protect you and raise you right. Yes he is.”

“Negan,” a small laugh fell from your lips when the sensation of his stubble brushing up against you caused goose bumps to develop over your body.

“Do you know why you’re a miracle?” Negan stammered against the flesh of your abdomen causing you to smile as he continued to talk to your stomach. “Because daddy didn’t think it was possible that he could have children, but it took your daddy finding someone as perfect as your mother to get it fucking right. So we could bring you into this world.”

“Fuck is probably going to be their first word,” you teased Negan hearing him chuckle against your skin. A wicked smirk pressed in over his lips as he traced swirls over your skin.

“Daddy would say that he will work on his mouth, but we all know better than that,” Negan winked, looking up at you for a moment before returning to your stomach to press soft kisses over your abdomen. “I can’t fucking believe we actually did it. I can’t believe it actually happened.”

Negan cuddled into your stomach and you instinctively reached out to caress your fingers throughout his hair. The way that Negan kept talking to the baby made you swoon even further and it was almost enough to take your fears away for a while.

“So this whole time you had to have known with the hinting and the conversations that you were pregnant,” Negan stammered against your skin, press another loving kiss over your stomach. “Why didn’t you just tell me you thought you were pregnant instead of just hinting at things or saying sly comments?”

“I don’t know, I guess I was nervous about everything. Things were happening so fast that I just…I didn’t want to get your hopes up,” you answered and while you knew it wasn’t completely honest, you knew that was part of the truth. With all the shit that had been taking place with Negan, it scared you the idea of being pregnant and it still very much did.  

“I’m so sorry for the way I’ve been. I should have never let my anger get the best of me and I should have never taken this out on you. You are the best thing that honestly ever happened to me and I just…I don’t know. I love you so much,” Negan looked up at you with his big hazel eyes and you smiled, reaching out to brush your fingertips over the side of his face. “I don’t deserve your love or your forgiveness and you are always so willing to forgive me and love me even after all the shit I’ve done. You are better than I could ever be and I can’t wait for us to be a family.”

Negan got up on his knees and both his hands slid up and over your stomach before sliding down it again, “I’m going to be the best possible father I can be. I’ve wanted you so much and I promise to take care of you and your mother. We’re going to be a family and I promise that I’m going to make the best possible world I can for you. I love you and your mother so much…”

Negan continued to talk to your stomach and you felt an ache at the center of it knowing that you had been keeping so much from Negan and the secrets were honestly eating you alive. Negan continued to talk to your stomach and you gulped down uneasily.

“Do you think we’re going to have a boy? Fuck, that’d be awesome wouldn’t it? But if we had a little girl, that’d be awesome too,” Negan excitedly responded, a wide smile pressing in over his handsome features when he looked up at you. “I’m shit at names. It’s something this kid is going to be stuck with for life, so I don’t want to give it a shit name. I don’t know how we’re going to come up with a name. I mean….unless you have names that you like. I had names I liked, but then I never thought I’d ever be a dad so then…”

A small laugh fell from your lips at Negan’s ramblings and you bit down on your bottom lip when Negan lowered back down to your stomach again, resting beside it as he spoke.

“I know a lot of guys name their kid after themselves, but Negan Junior sounds stupid…” Negan’s rough fingertips traced over the flesh over your abdomen and you gulped down heavily. “There were things growing up…”

Negan rambled on about names and you still let your mind get the best of you while you thought about all of the things that had been taking place. All the lies. All of the worries. They were things you needed to talk to Negan about since you knew now that you were pregnant.

“I need to get prepared. We need to get prepared. Get you all the medicine you need. We need to get all of the supplies. I need to start going out on runs,” Negan wandered off in his thoughts and you bit down on your bottom lip. This was such a good moment, you didn’t want to ruin it, but the two of you had to talk. “I should stock up on toys. We should get both gender toys. Let our baby have a choice as to what it wants to grow up and be.”

“Negan, we need to talk about some things,” you sighed heavily, reaching out to brush your fingertips throughout his hair again. Negan’s smile slowly faded as you bit down on your bottom lip. “Serious things.”

“I don’t like that look. That look means bad shit. This is my baby, right?” Negan spoke up and you let out a small laugh and playfully smacked the side of his face. Your eyes rolled when a snort fell from him. “Well fuck, with you being all serious and shit I figured I should ask.”

“It would be a little hard for it to be someone else’s when you’re the only person I’ve ever been with,” you reminded him and he slowly crawled up the bed to meet you in a quick kiss. “I’m serious Negan; we need to talk about some things…that have kind of been on my mind.”

“Alright…” Negan nodded and you reached up to trace your fingertips over the scratch marks you had left on his chest from hours before. Negan smirked before reaching for your hands to hold them in his tightly. “I’m fine. Trust me, I hurt, but I’m very proud of these marks.”

“I believe that and that worries me,” you replied with a smirk and Negan, leaned down to playfully nibble at the side of your neck making you chuckle. Pressing your hands into the center of his chest, you tried to put a distance as he started tickling at your sides. “This is serious Negan.”

“So is making you smile,” Negan pulled away with a heavy sigh, his eyes staring into yours. “We’ve had so many fights…so many angry or upset moments lately. I just…I wanted to see you smile and hear you laugh.”

“You are so…” you got caught up in the look he was giving you and you leaned up to kiss him. There was a sense of passion behind the caress and you could tell that the news of you being pregnant seriously changed things inside of him. Negan pulled away with a heavy breath, his nose nestling against yours while his fingertips traced in over your jawline. “I’m still trying to figure you out.”

“That’s never gonna happen,” Negan retorted with a chuckle. “I’m always changing. I’m a fucking chameleon.”

“Can we go sit?” you suggested after taking a moment to enjoy being in Negan’s arms, looking over toward the couches and Negan frowned. It was clear that he didn’t know where you were going with this, but he nodded. Getting up from the bed, you pulled your shirt back down over your body and watched Negan adjust his pajama pants as he followed you over to the couch to sit down beside you. An uncomfortable breath fell from your lips when you still had the pinging sensation of over your bottom.

“I’m sorry,” Negan frowned, reaching out to caress in over the side of your face again so he could pull you close and kiss you. You shrugged your shoulders and smirked.

“You’re no better. I got you pretty good in certain areas,” you reminded him and a thick, wicked laugh fell from his throat at the idea. “So nothing to apologize for right now. I got you back.”

Your teasing was quickly changed when you thought about the topics that were on your mind. His hand reached out to yours when he noticed you were uncomfortable and you felt his fingertips lace with yours. “I think I need to be honest with you about some things that I’ve kept from you. I don’t want us to keep secrets from each other. Not when…we’re starting a family. Not anymore.”

“Okay?” Negan responded with an unsure sound. He lifted your hand to his lips and pressed a small kiss over the back of your hand. “What’s going on baby?”

“I…there is a lot here and I’m sorry for anything that may upset you,” you began, thinking about all of that you had recently kept from Negan. “Please, don’t react immediately to everything I tell you. I’m not telling you to have you automatically go on the attack. I’m telling you because I don’t want to lie to you. I need you to listen to all of this with a level head. These are things that I’ve kept from you and…things that have been on my mind for a while.”

“You’re making me fucking nervous doll,” Negan snorted, shifting on the couch beside you.

“I guess I should start with the easiest thing…” you bit down on your bottom lip and sighed. “I uhm…I lied when I told you that I fell on the stairs that day. I had been trying to see Daryl and when he found out I was married to you, he didn’t…handle it well. I figured we were friends so I thought it would be okay, but he was very…aggressive with me and made some nasty comments that I didn’t respond well to and I made some comments back which ended with him…slapping me. Now I know your first instinct is to usually go and attack someone, but I need you to know that I care about Daryl. Not in a way that’s romantic, but I don’t think I could handle seeing something bad happen to him. But Simon was there and I begged him to help me cover it up and he did…”

Negan’s face scrunched up and an expression of anger pressed in over his face as he nodded and bit into his bottom lip, “makes sense as to why you kept that one from me. I seriously hope you are staying the fuck away from him right now though.”

“That’s not technically everything,” you sighed, looking down toward the ground. “I was giving him some of my food when I would go and see him.”

“Sounds like you,” Negan sighed and he got more comfortable on the couch beside you. “That one doesn’t exactly surprise me.”

“Daryl…isn’t the biggest problem,” you thought about everything that happened and you gulped down heavily. You were surprised how well he was handling everything about Daryl. “I need to tell you something about Simon and it’s…well, it’s bad.”

Negan nodded and you felt his fingertips tightening around yours.

“The day that Daryl hit me, I saw him talking to someone. I heard him telling the person that he would take care of them if they took care of him. I didn’t understand it at the time, but the person that shot you that day…Simon is the person that set it up. He gave that guy the gun and you were shot because of Simon. He told me he did it to get me away from you and didn’t think you’d be vulnerable when it happened. He fed me some kind of bullshit that he did it to make me realize how much of a monster you were. That someone would want to kill you and it would make me want to leave you,” you informed Negan seeing the way the color drained from Negan’s face. He shifted uncomfortably on the couch and you could see him looking to you with confusion. “I found out by threatening him, but…since then…”

“You know I used to consider him my best friend,” Negan bit into his bottom lip and he turned away from you for a minute when he seemed bothered by what was happening. “Since he attacked that small group of people and killed all of the men along with the boys…”

“Negan,” you reached out to try and comfort him, but he held his hand up for you to continue with what you were going to say to him. “I told him I wouldn’t tell you as long as he promised to never do something like that again.”

“He hates the way I run things,” Negan pointed out and you cleared your throat uneasily. Simon made that very clear, but you didn’t exactly know what to say to Negan. “Does it get worse than that?”

“Not…really. I just…we need to talk about this baby,” you whispered looking down at your stomach, sliding your hand in over you abdomen. “I’ve known that I was pregnant for quite some time. I didn’t need a test to know. I knew it for a very long time. I could feel it. When we would talk about it, I was just…scared.”

“Of me?” Negan stammered, confused by your response. “This is what we wanted.”

“Yes, I want a family with you, but I’m scared of what could happen Negan,” you insisted with a shrug of your shoulders. “Even you said that people would attack me in the past for being the person you cared about the most. What happens now that they know I’m your wife and I’m pregnant with your child? You are starting this war with Rick. We still know nothing about the people that attacked Simon and I. I still don’t trust Michael and…”

“I’m going to handle everything sweetheart. You should not be worrying about this stuff being pregnant,” Negan hushed you, turning in his seat to reach out to cup your face in his hands lovingly. “I’ll take care of that stuff. You are going to be perfectly fine.”

“But we have so many problems between the two of us. I think the last few days have proven that,” you held your hands out to point to his body and he looked down and let out a long sigh. “We’ve really been pissing each other off lately.”

“Because you were worried about all of this and trying to keep it from me and I was being…an asshole. But, I can tell you straight the fuck up, I love you,” Negan reached out to brush your hair out of your face. “I’m going to take care of you and the baby. You both are my world now. Everything that has happened the last few days, we are going to work on it together. Like we should as a family, but right now what we need to worry about is this baby and bringing them into the world.”

There was a silence that filled the air as you gulped down heavily and still felt overwhelmed with how everything was going down. You felt your eyes misting over and Negan reached up to wipe away your tears and he reached out to wrap his arms around you tightly.

“I promise I will keep you safe. I love you so much and I promise I will try to make this shit work. Okay?” Negan hushed you and leaned in closer to his bare chest. There were a few minutes where the both of you stayed quiet until Negan spoke up again. “What if we had twins? Wouldn’t that be awesome? One boy and one girl?”

“Negan,” you rolled your eyes and heard Negan laugh. “Two is a bit much.”

“But it’d be awesome,” Negan snorted, pulling away enough to look down at you. “Then they would always have each other and wouldn’t be alone.”

“One day at a time honey,” you sighed and felt his arms wrapping around you again to console you. You were surprised with how well Negan was actually handling everything and found yourself impressed. Maybe it was knowing that he was going to be father which made him take everything so well, but either way, you definitely appreciated it.

* * *

“What are we doing boss man?” Simon looked over at Negan as Negan pushed around some things in a baby store that was pretty run down in one of the closer towns.

“You really have to ask that?” Negan grunted, lifting his head up from the mess that he was looking through and Simon shrugged his shoulders. “One would think once a man finds out he is going to be a father, he’d try to find some good things for his baby.”

“Well yeah, but couldn’t the guys run out and do that for you? The fact that you took me out alone with you just kind of…I don’t know boss man. What’s going on?” Simon stammered and Negan shrugged his shoulders before standing up straight. Negan smoothed out his leather jacket and Simon threw his hands up.

“You are the only person that knows other than Carson that my girl is pregnant. You’re the only person I can trust. You fucking know what I mean, right?” Negan moved beside Simon, his eyes surveying Simon’s as he wrapped his arm around Simon’s shoulder to squeeze him in closer. “Are you nervous Simon?”

“Why would I be nervous?” Simon stammered and Negan gulped down to himself. When Negan woke up early this morning before Y/N woke up, he decided to take Simon with him on a run. Especially after what Y/N had told him about Simon. He was going to push Simon’s buttons and see what he could pull up. “Negan, I’m cool and collected, remember? I just row with the flow of whatever you decide.”

“Do you?” Negan breathed out, his eyebrows perking up when Simon stammered to find the right answer. “I’m just fucking with you Simon. Now help me look around to see if there is something I can find for my little one.”

“So you’re really doing this, huh?” Simon breathed out, watching Negan picking up some of the displays that were pushed over. When Negan found a few pairs of baby socks, he saw Negan smirk and lift them up to look them over. “You really think it’s safe raising a baby right now?”

“Not exactly something I can go back on there Simon,” Negan snorted, his right eyebrow perking up in amusement and Simon rolled his eyes. “I think we’ll be alright.”

“To me it’s just another danger you are throwing Y/N into,” Simon informed Negan watching him picking up all of the clothes that were still left over and in good condition. Negan tossed them into a bag he had brought with him and Simon followed him into the back where the warehouse was. Negan let out what seemed to be an excited breath when there were multiple boxes of things left over. “Your baby too…”

“No one will protect them better than I will,” Negan stated, pushing a few of the boxes aside and he looked up on top of one of the tallest shelves to see a very large stuffed elephant sitting on top of it. “Why don’t you go get that for me?”

“All the way up there?” Simon quirked his brow, thinking of how he would climb up there to get it. Negan nodded and Simon cleared his throat uneasily. “I don’t think this would hold my weight Negan. Let’s just knock it over and…”

“Get it covered in dust so my child can get sick?” Negan shook his head and nodded over toward the ladder that was on the floor. “Use that.”

“I still don’t think it is safe Negan,” Simon insisted and he let out a nervous sound when Negan went to grab the ladder. When Negan set it up for Simon, Simon gulped down and looked up at the shelf.

“I’ll keep you safe bud,” Negan winked and Simon let out a tense breath when he carefully moved up the ladder and Negan shifted the ladder as he held onto it. Simon clung to the shelf feeling the ladder falling back and Negan let out a hesitant laugh. “Shit that was close.”

Simon let out an aggravated laugh before moving further up the ladder and Simon felt the ladder shifting for when he reached the top. Clinging to the ladder, he looked down at Negan seeing him kicking at something.

“Negan!” Simon blurted out and Negan looked up at him with his big eyes. “Please hold it steady. I don’t need to go breaking my neck.”

“Sorry, there are some bugs or something,” Negan lied, looking up at Simon with his dark eyes. “Now toss the elephant down.”

Simon grabbed the stuffed elephant and tossed it down to Negan who caught it, but released the ladder at the same time. The weight of the ladder carrying Simon managed to fall forward and knock into the shelves. Simon clung to the shelf feeling it start to fall forward and Simon scrambled to grab a tight hold of something. A moment later he felt the wind get knocked out of his lungs when the shelves fell with him on top of it. His body bounced with impact and he let out a long groan watching Negan shift to quickly move beside him with the elephant in his arms.

“Shit, are you okay?” Negan waved his hand in Simon’s face knowing that he did it on purpose, but feigned being worried knowing that he didn’t want Simon to know that he was aware of what Y/N told him. “It was an initial response to catching the elephant. I’m so fucking sorry.”

“I’m alive,” Simon grunted from where he was laid out on the shelves and Negan tried to help move Simon, but Simon shook his head. “Give me a minute or so. I might be alive, but I might have a few broken ribs in the process.”

“Alright, well I’m going to put these in the truck while you take your minute,” Negan informed him with a wink and started carrying the supplies back to the truck. While he knew he was playing with fire, Negan still found himself angry as hell that Simon was willing to have him get killed over something so stupid. When Negan made it back inside the warehouse area to grab a few more things, he saw Simon standing up looking at his ribs.

“So are you planning on telling The Sanctuary that your girl is pregnant? I mean, are you going to tell everyone that she’s your wife and that you guys are having a baby?” Simon spoke up, moving across the warehouse to help Negan pick up a few things to help him carry it to the truck.

“No, I don’t plan to tell them anything. It’s none of their fucking business,” Negan answered pushing a few of the items into the back of the truck.

“It’s going to be obvious that she is pregnant Negan. You can’t really hide that shit. She’s kind of showing already,” Simon grunted, thinking back to the last discussion with Y/N about her being pregnant. “You have to be prepared for what’s going to happen.”

“And I’ll deal with it when it happens,” Negan snapped making Simon toss his hands up in the air in defense.

“What about Amber and Mark? What are you going to do about them? You still pissed about that?” Simon reminded Negan and Negan let out a tight grunt. “You’ve got a lot of things to worry about.”

“I’ll deal with that when I deal with that. Making them wait…that will be the scary part,” Negan insisted with a shake of his head. “I have a lot to deal with on my plate right now and I fucking…”

Negan paused hearing the sounds of talking not far off in the distance. “Did you tell anyone we were coming out here?”

“I didn’t even know we were coming out here,” Simon answered following Negan out into the woods. They weren’t far away from The Sanctuary so Simon really didn’t think that it would be far-fetched that someone would wander out here. A lot of times they would have other crews that would go looking for supplies. “This is why I think you need to send the crew out looking for baby supplies.”

“When you just told me that I should keep my wife protected? You’re giving me mixed signals here Simon. First I shouldn’t tell anymore, now you are telling me to send crews out to look for baby supplies for my wife. Which is it?” Negan hushed Simon, motioning Simon to wait and duck down behind a bush when he saw Michael with a group of two guys.

“I realize what he asked me to do, but I’m not doing it. I like…I like her,” Michael spoke up with a sigh and Negan felt his eyebrows tensing together when he watched one of his men talking to two strangers he had never seen before. “I know what your plan is and I get it, but I just…I don’t want any of it. I wanted to help you in the past, I did, but I just…”

“It’s not your decision kid. You know who is in charge and that won’t change things. You’re uncle isn’t going to be okay with you just giving up on the original plan,” one of the men spoke up and Negan felt his body locking up realizing that Y/N was right about Michael the entire time. Negan reached for his gun and he felt Simon motioning him to wait to keep it down. “Do what you’re told or someone else will.”

“All of this can be done differently. We can plan something else. She is the only person I like there. I’m not going to use…,” the young Brit spoke up again only to be smacked firmly by one of the men before him.

“Do…as your told,” the man that had hit Michael grumbled and they watched as the two men gave something to Michael and left him. Negan felt every muscle in his body locking up and more than anything he wanted to attack the younger man. When Y/N was sure that Michael was the one she saw, Negan actually believed the kid. Now that he saw this, he knew that Y/N was actually right.

Someone called out Michael’s name and it was clear that he was with a group that had gone on the run. Originally Michael was someone that Negan hadn’t trusted out and about, but after he had saved Y/N and Simon, he actually gave the kid a shot.

“So it was him that left that photo,” Negan huffed, sinking down onto the ground. He thought about the group that attacked Simon and Y/N and thought about the threats that he received about her. “I didn’t even think he had a family. Now he’s working for his uncle? We have to find out what their plan is…we have to…”

“If he knows that you know what happened here, he is going to lose his shit Negan. You have to think with a clear head. You have to…,” Simon watched Negan stand up and move back to the truck. When Negan started closing things up, Simon followed him. “What are you doing?”

“Getting back to my wife. I didn’t even tell her I was gone,” Negan explained with a grunt when he got back into the truck hoping to get back to The Sanctuary before Michael could. “We need to find out what they are doing.”

“What we need is someone to tail Michael. Watch him. His every move. I can get someone,” Simon insisted as Negan drove back to The Sanctuary. “I’ll find one of the men I trust. You can’t just go demanding answers or killing him.”

“That’s your way,” Negan reminded Simon and Simon let out an annoyed sound. “I can’t let him hurt my family.”

“And we won’t, but if you kill Michael you will never find out what the plan is. We just have to play this smart and wait it out. I promise you Negan, if you listen to me…everything will work itself out,” Simon once again stated and Negan could feel a lump developing in the back of his throat. “It’s best not to worry before we know what’s really going on though.”

* * *

“Hey you,” you breathed from the bed, watching Negan moving into the room with a large stuffed elephant tucked under his arm. Negan locked the door behind him and set the elephant down at the corner of the room before moving across the room to crawl into bed with you. His arms wrapped around your waist to pull you in closer to him as he cuddled you tight. “Negan?”

“I need to keep you safe,” Negan’s words vibrated against your skin making you bite down on your bottom lip. “Both of you.”

“We were in bed all day, safe,” you answered with a confused tone. “Negan?”

“Do me a favor,” Negan began, taking in a deep breath as he spoke to you. “Just…don’t trust anyone here. Okay? Trust me. Trust Simon as much as you can, but everyone else…be cautious.”

“Okay?” you looked to Negan with a frown and turned in his arms. The back of his hand slid up and over your abdomen as he caressed over your torso. “Negan? Is something wrong?”

“Just…trust me,” Negan frowned, reaching up to brush your hair away from your eyes. “That’s all I’m asking of you. Trust me.”


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The reader has a nightmare about a possible future with Negan that scares her and Michael tries to make amends with the reader.

A heavy gasp fell from your lips when you shot up in bed and felt as if the world was spinning around you. It was the middle of the night and you could feel your heart slamming inside of your chest. You just had a nightmare that involved Negan. It was the first time you met Negan and it played out in inside of your dream. When you had watched him bash in the head of the man that was part of your original crew. Then you also dreamt what you assumed happened to Glenn and Abraham and while that alone in itself was terrifying, you dreamt about your future with Negan and someone lining you, Negan and your future child up like Negan had done to others in the past.

Your stomach turned and you quickly got up from the bed to run to Negan’s personal bathroom feeling your body shaking with the obvious need to get sick. You fell to your knees in front of the toilet and got sick. Not long after you heard the sound of shifting feet behind you. The light flicked on and you looked to see Negan standing at the door, his tired eyes staring out at you. When he registered what was happening, he quickly moved for a washcloth and wet it before lowering down to his knees beside you.

“Hey, everything is okay,” Negan hushed in a calming tone, caressing the cool cloth over the back of your neck. You were shaking and you could see the worry that pressed in over Negan’s features as he held you close. “It’s alright baby, it’s just the morning sickness. Everything will be alright.”

“It’s not just that,” you let out a whimper and Negan gave you a confused expression. You paused feeling like you were going to get sick again and Negan let out a soothing sound, caressing over the small of your back and up toward your shoulders to try and comfort you. “I had a nightmare.”

“A nightmare?” Negan confirmed that’s what you said and you nodded. A heavy sigh fell from his lips and he leaned in to press a loving kiss over the back of your neck. “I’m well too aware of how awful those can be.”

“You have to stop all of this Negan,” you whispered, looking over your shoulder at him and his hazel eyes watched you closely. “I had a dream that someone lined the three of us up like you did in the past. For revenge Negan. This whole thing is going too far and you have to stop all of this. Rick…Rick is going to hurt you.”

“Sweetheart, I fucking promise after Rick this will all be over. We’ll make things work. After Rick…” Negan began and you let out a tense sound only to feel Negan reach out to cup your face in his large hands. “Baby…Rick will come around. Things will fall into place and I promise everything is going to be okay. I will take care of you. I will take care of the baby and I will take care of our home.”

“If only it were that easy,” you stammered, not knowing how to tell Negan how things were. After a few moments of not getting sick, you felt Negan wiping at your face before pulling you up in his arms to carry you back to the bed. A heavy breath fell from his lips as he moved into the bed beside you and you felt him cuddling up behind you. The soft caress of his fingertips was felt over your abdomen while he began to speak up again.

“I know this is all scary. This world is scary, but I’m doing what I think is right. It’s how I save people…,” Negan insisted and you gulped down heavily. “My son or daughter is going to be brought into a better world because we were able to make it that way.”

“There are better ways than this Negan,” you answered and heard Negan let out a long, disappointed sigh. “I know you don’t agree with me, but things could be done better and we could actually make things right.”

“What you want is impossible. You really think Rick and the merry gang of idiots is going to open arm welcome me and you into their lives? I don’t think so. The first time I put my guard down, someone is going to try to hurt you. Someone is going to try to hurt my baby and someone will try to kill me. While I want you to have the perfect life possible,” Negan huffed with a bit of anger in his tone, “I have to also be realistic.”

“I’m just scared…” you turned in Negan’s arms and his anger slowly faded from his face and he frowned. Negan reached out to brush your hair away from your face and he shook his head. “We’re going to have a baby and things are so far from being right Negan.”

“I’m fucking terrified,” Negan informed you with a frown himself. His eyes searched yours for a long moment and his strong façade was soon replaced with a worried expression himself. “I never thought I was going to be a father. I never thought I would fall in love. Both things I was wrong about. Before…I was fine. I wasn’t scared at all, but now…I’m fucking terrified because for the first time in a long time, I have something to live for. I have something to lose. I’m so scared that I can barely even explain it to you. I don’t tell you these things because I want you to believe that I can take care of you…that I’m strong, but I’m scared too. I understand baby.”

“I love you,” you whispered upon taking a moment to think about what he just said. “I really…really love you.”

“I love you too and that’s what makes everything so…complicated. I just want what’s best for you and the baby,” Negan promised, sliding his hand in over the small swell of your stomach. “I need to keep you safe, so if I make some questionable decisions, just know I’m trying to do what’s right. I’m trying.”

“I know you are, but the world is…against us,” you simply stated, thinking of all the bad things that had happened leading up to now.

“I would die before I let something bad happen to you,” Negan insisted and he could tell by the look on your face that it wasn’t what you wanted to hear. Your eyes misted over and Negan reached out to grab a soft hold of your face, urging you to look at him. “Baby?”

“I have the worst feeling Negan and I can’t lose you. I can’t. This baby needs its father,” you whimpered and Negan hushed you, tipping in closer to kiss you lovingly. “This baby needs you. I need you. I can’t be left alone again. I can’t be without you…”

“I’m not going to try to let that happen,” Negan promised, pulling you in close so you cuddle up against the center of his chest. “I love you so much. I never want to leave your side, but I promise I’m going to do everything I can to protect you and this baby. I swear with everything that I am.”

“I know Negan,” you sighed heavily and felt his arms wrapping tighter around you. “And that’s what scares me.”

* * *

 

Sitting on the edge of the bed, you let out a long sigh and reached for the vitamins that the doctor had given you for your pregnancy. Opening the bottle, you pulled out what you needed to take and plopped them in your mouth. Negan had left for a while and had asked for you to just stay in the room to rest, but every time you closed your eyes all you could think about was the nightmare from last night. It made it hard to rest and you didn’t think the fear would be good for your health or the baby.

Hearing the sound of a knocking at the door, you gulped down and stood up from the bed to move over toward to open it. Gulping down uneasily, you saw Michael standing at the door before you and you clutched tightly to the door.

“Hey, I know that we haven’t had the best of interactions lately, but I just…I wanted to talk,” Michael sighed heavily and you could feel an ache at the center of your chest. “I know you think I did something bad not long ago and I understand that you are nervous about me, but please…I just, you were the only person that I actually like here and I was just hoping that we could talk.”

You stared out at Michael for a long moment, searching his bright green eyes to see if you thought you could trust him. You clutched to the door and saw him biting down into his bottom lip and you shrugged your shoulders.

“What do you want to talk about?” you breathed out and Michael shrugged his shoulders.

“Can we go for a walk or something? I kind of feel fucking weird talking to you in Negan’s bedroom,” Michael answered and you let out a nervous breath. Looking back over your shoulder, you looked into the bedroom and shrugged. “It’s nice outside; we can just go for a walk and talk about some things.”

“Alright,” you agreed, following Michael out of the room and closing the door behind you after grabbing your bag from the corner of the room. Throwing it over your shoulder, you followed Michael out of The Sanctuary and into the yard where Michael seemed to pace a bit. “What’s going on?”

“I just, I’ve been thinking about a lot of things and I know that we never really got started off on the right foot,” Michael pointed out with a shrug of his large shoulders. His jaw clenched while he thought of what to say and he seemed nervous in comparison to his usual smug attitude. “I know you love Negan. I mean it’s obvious since everyone has been rumoring about the two of you being married. I didn’t realize it, but it all makes sense now. I just…I know you care about him, but he did things that I can never forgive him for. I try…I really try, but the memories just keep coming back.”

“And I understand that,” you thought about what he was saying and you saw him nod toward the wooded area. “What?”

“Do you want to walk by the water or something? I just, I don’t really want to open my heart up here in front of everyone,” Michael stammered and you clung to your bag tightly knowing that you had the small gun Negan had returned to you in there. “Please?”

Saying nothing, you followed Michael toward the tree line and heard him breathing heavily, “I’d love to think that he changed, but there are so many things…”

“Michael, I know how you feel about losing your parents, especially your father and I understand that you want to take out the man that did it,” you stopped in your tracks and turned to him, reaching out to grab his shoulder. Michael’s eyebrows tensed together, his masculine features seemingly confused as you continued to speak. “But revenge…that’s not going to make you feel better. Changing the world, that’s how we fix past mistakes. That’s how we make things better and I’m trying so hard to get Negan to see that. He’s made awful mistakes, but if he can start changing…if he can start acting the way that he should, then we can work together to make things right. I don’t want to see you go down the same way Negan did. I know you are angry, I know you are mad, but other than to save people…have you ever killed someone? Have you ever hurt someone? I just, I know you are hurting, but I think you know what’s right and what’s wrong when it comes to Negan.”

Michael nodded, his eyes shifting as he thought about what you said. Nodding toward the trees again, you heard Michael calling out to you and you turned on your heel.

“Just, wait…” Michael suggested, reaching for your wrist to pull you in closer to him. “I uh…I changed my mind. How about we get some lunch instead or something? It’s way too hot out here and I just…I don’t think we should go that way.”

“You don’t want to go to the water?” you confirmed, pointing toward the trees and Michael shook his head.

“Do you really think that you can make him change?” Michael breathed in sharply and you shrugged. “I don’t want to be like him. I don’t want to hurt people.”

“And you don’t have to,” you gulped down noticing that something seriously seemed to be eating away at Michael. “Is everything okay?”

“Why are you being nice to me? You barely even trust me,” Michael grumbled under his breath and you noticed that he took the time to step between you and the woods making you feel a little bit uncomfortable in the movement.

“Someone has to try to be nice in a world full of negative, right?” you smirked and heard a long sigh fall from Michael’s lips. “How do you feel about foosball?”

“Foosball?” Michael repeated your words with a laugh. “Seriously?”

“We can get you a beer and you can ramble on about whatever makes your heart content. I promise,” you winked and Michael urged you away from the woods and back toward The Sanctuary.

“While that idea sounds amazing,” Michael began in a soft spoken tone, his English accent flooding the air. “I need to talk to you about something important.”

There was a silence that filled the air and both of you stopped walking. There was an uncomfortable feeling in your body and a chill that ran down your back. Your baby growing inside of you was the number one thing on your mind right now and it made you nervous that you were alone with Michael. It was stupid to agree to this and the way that Michael nervously twitched and shifted before you made you realize he was very upset.

“It was you in the woods that day, wasn’t it Michael?” you blurted out knowing that you knew the answer to that question already. Michael’s jaw flexed and his green eyes looked up to yours. “Tell me the truth.”

“We need to talk. It’s important,” Michael began, looking around and pulling you toward the corner of The Sanctuary where less people were standing around. “You have no reason to trust me. I get that and I realize you are going to be scared, but you need to know.”

“To know what?” you let out a confused sound watching Michael step back and he seemed completely stressed. He threw his hands up and pulled at his dark hair, an angry sound falling from his lips. “Michael?”

“You are a good person. Despite who you love, you just can’t fucking help it,” Michael rambled and you clutched tighter to your bag. “You aren’t safe here. There are people…bad people that want to hurt you. I don’t want that. I want you safe. I don’t want you fucking hurt…”

“Michael, what’s going on?” you tried to get him to speak clear, reaching out to grab his hands in yours. “What?”

“You don’t deserve all of this. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be safe,” Michael was shivering and you could feel a chill press in over your spine. “It was me. I was the person in the woods, but you have to understand, okay? I didn’t have a choice. I didn’t. They want me to hurt you, but you have to know, I don’t want to. I couldn’t hurt you.”

Lowering your hands, you went to move away feeling your heart hammering in your body and you stepped back and away from Michael. He held his hands up, almost pleading for you to stay where you were.

“I didn’t leave those photos for Negan. I didn’t even know about it at the time,” Michael insisted, but you the chill that filled your body made you severely uncomfortable. “Even when you and Simon were attacked, I didn’t know. It was some time afterward and…I swear…”

Stepping away, you found that hard to believe. If he had already lied about being in the woods that day, then he could have been lying now.

“Please. I know you got hurt, but that was never my intention. I just…my uncle,” Michael began looking back toward the wooded area.

“Someone is there waiting by the water aren’t they?” you breathed out and Michael gulped down heavily. His eyes shifted before he nodded and you let out a tense breath. You had almost gone through with going with Michael to the water and now you were thankful that you hadn’t. What would they have done to you? What were they planning? What would have happened when they found out you were pregnant? “You were taking me there to them?”

“I changed my mind, I changed my mind,” Michael insisted trying to get you to listen to him, but you shook your head. “Please, okay…I just want to keep you safe. I would rather you away from Negan, but I don’t want you hurt. Please…”

“Let me go,” you demanded feeling him grabbing a tight hold of your arms to pull you back. Hearing the sound of trucks, you looked to see that it was Negan getting back with Simon in the trucks and the rush of panic along with fear filled your body. You didn’t trust Michael and he was acting so erratic that you didn’t trust him. “Michael I swear…”

“We need to get you away from here today. If I don’t do this…someone else is going to. We need to keep you safe,” Michael reasoned with you, but after everything that happened you didn’t think you could trust him. You tried to make a quick movement for the trucks, but felt Michael wrapping his arms around you tightly, pulling you back to him and wrapping his hand around your lips. “Shhh…I swear I’m not gonna hurt you. People are going to try and hurt you…there are…”

“Negan!” you screamed out after biting at Michael’s fingertips hearing the whimper that fell from his throat before he quickly slammed his hand back over your mouth. You hoped that it was enough to get someone to hear, but you could feel Michael pulling you further back around the corner of The Sanctuary.

“Please stop fighting me, I’m just trying to help,” Michael begged and you tried putting your feet into the ground as much as possible. You shook your body, but his muscular arms were wrapped tightly around your body making it hard for you to break free. “Y/N!”

“Get your fucking hands off of her,” you felt Michael’s grasp getting tighter at the sound of Negan’s voice filling the air and before you knew it, Negan had Michael knocked to the ground and face first pressed against the grass. Michael tried to move out beneath Negan’s grasp, but Simon was quick to slide in beside Michael on the grass. Simon twisted Michael’s arms behind Michael’s back and held them there tightly. “You fucking piece of shit.”

“Please, I wasn’t trying to hurt her,” Michael pleaded with Negan, a heavy wince falling from his lips when Negan pushed his hand further into the back of Michael’s head. “You both need to know things. You both need to know what’s going on…”

“We already know about your uncle,” Negan corrected Michael as Simon pulled at Michael’s arm harder making him hiss out in agony. “You were over the moment you put your fucking hands on my wife or even began to think you could get away with hurting her.”

“Please. There are people by the water, I will tell you everything, just…” an agonizing sound fell from Michael’s lips when Simon punched at Michael’s kidneys, making Michael writhe under the grasp that Negan and Simon had him under. “Just give me five minutes Negan.”

“Traitors don’t get fucking time,” Simon snarled and Negan released Michael looking between you and the younger man that was still kept to the grass by Simon.

“Just hear him out,” you tried to suggest, noticing the desperation and the severity in Michael’s tone. “You have him down, even if it’s a lie…”

“Anything that will come out of his filthy mouth will be a fucking lie,” Simon snarled, reaching up to yank back at Michael’s hair before hitting Michael in the sides over and over again. “I got injured because of you, you fucking prick…”

“Oh bullshit, that wasn’t my fault…” Michael blurted out and a moment later Simon’s fist connected with the side of Michael’s face knocking Michael unconscious in the firm blow that Simon delivered.

“What the fuck Simon?” Negan snarled, looking out from where he was on his knees and Simon shrugged. “We should have let him fucking talk.”

“And he can talk when he’s in the cell and locked up,” Simon shrugged and let out a tense sound. “Until then…I’ll take care of it…”

“Are you okay?” Negan sighed heavily, getting up from the ground and moving out to help you to your feet. Your hands were shaking and Negan reached out to cup your face in his hands. “What the hell were you doing out here with him? I asked you to stay in today. I told you not to trust anyone and…”

“I don’t know…” you sighed, leaning into Negan’s palm and a moment later felt his lips over yours. “I just thought he was trying to make amends and…”

“You need to start fucking thinking…” Simon grumbled, reaching down to pick up Michael. A loud grunt fell from his lips as Simon got the large man over his shoulder. “I’ll send a team to the water to deal with the others.”

“Now when you say deal…” you tried to speak and Negan hushed you.

“We need to know what the plan was Simon. Don’t fucking kill them,” Negan ordered and you watched Simon’s brows furrow. The angry flexing of Simon’s jaw showed you that he was pissed with that decision. “I’m serious Simon. I need to fucking talk to these people. We need to find out who his uncle is and we need to find out what their plans are. I’m not putting my wife and my baby in jeopardy any longer.”

“You know best boss man,” Simon huffed before walking off with the unconscious Michael over his shoulder.

“I don’t think he’s the one that’s been the mastermind Negan,” you finally spoke up when Simon was far enough away. Negan turned on his heel, his right eyebrow perking up as you continued to speak. “He was planning on taking me out by the water, but changed his mind. He started rambling on, but he scared me and I panicked.”

“As you should have,” Negan corrected you, reaching out to nudge your jaw with his fingertips. “I don’t think you understand how important it is that you start listening to me. I know you like to adventure and I know that you are strong as nails, but you have our baby growing inside of you now. You have to start making choices that protect our child…”

“I know, I just…” you frowned and Negan silenced you, caressing over the sides of your face with his thumbs. “Negan, when he wakes up…you really need to talk to him. Understand what’s going on.”

“And I will, but I think he needs to spend a few days in there first. Whatever comes out of his mouth will be immediate. Something to save his ass. If he is in that cell for a few days and gets a taste of what can be, then he will eagerly open up. Tell us what needs to be known,” Negan began and you frowned, a glare developing over your features. “Baby…I know what I’m talking about.”

“He was going to talk just now Negan before Simon blasted him,” you reminded him and Negan’s jaw flexed as he stared out at you. “I think the sooner you learn whatever it is he wanted to tell us…the better.”


End file.
